"Here!" Ramon passed the bottle of tequila around after finishing with Diego and drinking a little himself. The other men took it and drank a few mouthfuls, except for Felipe, who pointed out someone needed to remain awake in case any problem should arise.

"What is this?" De Soto asked as he came around the corner of the hacienda to find them there. The five men instantly froze at hearing his voice. "Well, well, well…I return to find my Lieutenant and, instead, I find you all kidnaping the groom." He stated.

"It's not what you think, mi Alcalde!" Mendoza answered. "You see…we are just…"

"I know exactly what you're doing, Mendoza! We used to do that back in Madrid, while I was in University. A lot of alcohol and some less-than-respectable ladies were usually involved, if I remember correctly…What's your plan for him?" De Soto replied.

"We're just…" Ramon tried but failed to find a good answer.

"We're just taking him away for a private conversation on how to be a good husband…" Rafael intervened.

"Right. Because bachelors know best!" De Soto remarked, having noticed that only one of the five wannabe kidnappers was married. "And that is a bottle of water in your hands, I assume…" He went on. "Move away! I am not losing the opportunity to see Diego de la Vega drunk!" He decided, climbing into the wagon.

The men all stared at each other, then at Felipe, with some terror in their eyes, but they had no way to change the Alcalde's mind without him becoming suspicious of their behavior. Francisco thus passed him the bottle of tequila, instantly deciding to get him drunk enough not to spoil their party, as Ramon started driving the wagon towards the windmill. De Soto drank, then handed the bottle back to Francisco, who proceeded in taking another slurp and handing it to his other companions. Ramon, Mendoza, and Rafael were next, all of them taking small sips, careful not to drink more than the Alcalde, and the bottle returned to De Soto.

It took them almost two hours and four short stops on the way, for one or another to relieve himself, before they got to the windmill. The conversation had mainly focused on the weather, everyone, except De Soto, proving to be exceptionally good at remembering every rainy and sunny day they had that year, wherever they lived. The Alcalde regretted his decision to accompany them the instant the conversation had started, remarking, just for himself, that Diego's friends were just as boring as the tall caballero was. Had it not been for his desire to see the De la Vega heir drunk, he would have jumped off the wagon and headed back to the hacienda to get his horse. Having, however, established his priorities, drunk Diego being on top of his list, De Soto just made sure he was intoxicated enough not to care about the weather.

By the time they arrived at their destination, two bottles of tequila and two more bottles of wine were lying empty, so, except for Felipe, the horses and the still-sleeping Diego, everyone else was quite drunk.

As they carried their prisoner to the windmill, it was only by a miracle and Felipe's care that they didn't bump his head hard, on the doorway, a couple of times. Once he was safely inside, they, eventually, successfully sat him up, leaning against a wall and made sure to tie his hands and feet – not very effectively, though, since they were hardly in a condition to bound El Zorro.

With Felipe's help, Francisco stumbled to make a fire, as the rest placed the blankets around it.

When Mendoza tried to bring inside some of the remaining alcohol, he fell and broke the only tequila bottle left, on the stairs. Felipe was, thus, tasked to take over the carrying of the bottles. Realizing the many problems their current predicament raised for his father, the young man took the chance and emptied a rum bottle, poured inside it the willow tree bark tea, mixed with the tonic and some water. Remembering the Alcalde's words, he also decided to take one of the tequila bottles and pour some water in it, carefully placing it near the wine bottles so that nobody would notice it.

When he returned with the alcohol, he opened a bottle of rum and poured it into five glasses, then took the one filled with the tea and poured it into the very big glass they had taken for Diego, the size of which was three times that of their other glasses, and, pretending to join the party, he poured the rest in a glass he intended to drink himself.

Felipe had also thought about using the willow bark tea to sober up the other four men. Diego had told him about his own experiments with that particular concoction, and how it seemed to partially cancel, partially delay the negative effects of the alcohol. Felipe had asked him how he managed to come to that conclusion, but his father left him with the doubt, unwilling to confess to having conducted his experiment on some of Mendoza's lancers, and a few of the De la Vega vaqueros, without them even realizing what he was doing. In the end, after the fourth glass, all wines taste alike.

After assessing his options, somewhat annoyed that his friends had placed Diego in such a dangerous situation, Felipe decided it was easier and less risky to get them drunker. Incoherent and unarticulated, even if they would say something that might out him as the legendary outlaw he was, nobody else, including De Soto, would understand them.

"I don't think…we're doing this right!" De Soto noted. "There was…a little more chatter…at such parties…when I was younger, if…if I remember…correctly."

Diego woke up then to find his hands tied behind his back and his feet tied together. "What on Earth is going on?" He asked, as he took in his surroundings and looked at the drunken men around him.

"Make him drink!" Rafael ordered, as a thought about something not being a good idea, Alcalde, Zorro, hanging crossed his mind.

Felipe did as he said, winking at Diego when he made him gulp almost a quarter of the glass.

"Salud!" Ramon stated and drank his entire glass, holding it up for Felipe to refill it.

"Salud!" Francisco, Rafael, Mendoza and De Soto said at the same time, imitating Ramon.

Felipe crossed the room and emptied another bottle into the glasses shaking in their hands, then returned to Diego and made him swallow another quarter of his glass, as the other men repeated the cheering and the drinking. At that point, the two De la Vegas were completely sober and fully alert, while everyone else was barely capable of formulating a coherent thought.

"I don't think…I should be here" Diego stated, realizing he needed to make them believe he was getting drunk.

"I don't think…you should think!" Ramon replied with a hiccup.

"No think…just tell us secrets!" Francisco asked, taking a finger to his mouth to indicate something that needed to be kept quiet.

"But not the…you know which…'cause we know…and who doesn't…doesn't…" Mendoza mentioned, the Lieutenant being the only one who remembered they should not talk about Zorro in De Soto's presence, or they might all be heading for the gallows the following day.

"What secret you know?" De Soto asked, eying Mendoza, proving to be a little more sober than the rest. "I need some food!" He demanded, addressing Felipe and the young man complied, handing him a tamale. De Soto carefully opened it and took a bite. "So…De la Vega! Spill it! Spill all your secrets!" He ordered, his head clearer with the food in his stomach.

Felipe realized this was too dangerous to be allowed to continue, so he poured some ether on a cloth and handed it to the Alcalde, gesturing he needed to clean up some food from his face. De Soto took it without paying it much attention, and was lying on his back a few seconds later, completely immersed into the world of dreams. The other men started laughing at seeing that, gesturing and pointing their finger at the sleeping man. After a sudden revelation, Ramon decided it would be amusing to use the ash from the fire to turn De Soto's hair and beard black, completely forgetting about Diego for a little while, while they were focusing on Ignacio. At that point, Felipe took his bottle of water and used it to refill part of Diego's glass. He knew that the difference in color between the liquid Diego was drinking and the one he had given the others was now noticeable, but he also knew they were all too drunk to realize it.

"Why is De Soto here?" Diego whispered.

Felipe looked back at the men and, sure they weren't paying him any attention, started signaling, explaining the situation.

"Make sure he remains asleep." He asked Felipe after understanding what had happened. "And put something in his ears. He might still hear what we talk about and remember parts of the conversation later."

Felipe nodded and asked if he should get the rest of the men asleep, as well.

"No…If they are not convinced they've gotten all they wanted out of me tonight, they will probably try again tomorrow and you might not be there to save me from them."

Satisfied with the job done on De Soto, in a moment of clarity, Rafael reminded everyone they were there to get Diego drunk, so Ramon stumbled to his future brother-in-law and made him drink his entire glass, convinced that would get him completely wasted, while Felipe tied an ether-filled cloth to De Soto's nose and used some cotton he managed to tear from one of the blankets as earplugs.

"So…now that we…alone" Francisco decided "you start confessing!" he asked Diego, who was engaged in coming up with his best interpretation of a drunken self.

"Confess what?" Diego asked. "I have nothing to confess!"

"I want to know…you did…my sister!" Francisco clarified.

"I kissed her. There…I said it!" Diego replied.

"How munch… times?" Ramon wanted to know.

"Hundreds…maybe thousands" Diego answered.

"Did you touch her?" Francisco asked again. "You touched my sister, De la Vega?"

"Hard to kiss without touching!" Diego replied.

"Don't try to…wise…Did you touch…where men should not touch…women?

"I'm a caballero!" Diego stated, with feign indignation.

"Good! Now, will you promise.."

"Solemnly promise…" Ramon corrected.

"Yes…will you solemnly promise…not to touch my…our…sister in those places?" Francisco demanded.

"No!" Diego replied firmly, barely stopping himself from laughing out loud. "Father wants grandchildren."

"Grandfoxes!" Mendoza corrected, chuckling.

"Grandfoxes?" Ramon tried to process. "That's funny…'cause he's a fox…you get it?" he asked Francisco.

Francisco laughed a bit later than the others. "Where were we? Yes…you promised grandfoxes…" he stated. "Now, you promise…never see another woman again?"

"I have eyes…so I see…" Diego stated.

"Yes…see…" Francisco conceded. "But no touch, no kiss women…no break Victoria heart!"

"I can promise that." Diego agreed.

"And no more secrets!" Ramon decided.

Diego just nodded.

Mendoza yawned and the rest of the men followed his contagious example.

"What now?" Ramon asked.

"Secrets!" Rafael reminded them.

"Yes…each…one!" Francisco decided. "I start. Why you not drink?"

"I drink…water…juice…water…juice…water…"

"Yes…but why not drink wine…tequila…rum…men drinks?"

"Must keep clear head…drunk Zorro…dead Zorro."

"Dead no! Zorro I want no die!" Mendoza almost cried.

"That's why no drink!" Francisco explained, assuming to be extremely wise at that moment. "No drink no dead Zorro…"

"Ahem…" Mendoza replied deep in thought.

"My turn!" Ramon stated as he filled his glass with some more rum and asked the others if they also wanted more.

Everyone agreed and Ramon finished the last bottle of rum in Mendoza's glass, so he was about to open a wine bottle for their prisoner, when Felipe, pretended he had just discovered the not-yet-empty tequila bottle and poured its entire content in Diego's glass instead. His father took a sip and pretended it was too strong to keep a straight face. After the second, long gulp, he did the same and refused to drink anymore for the time being. Half the glass thus remained full.

"No lies!" Ramon warned Diego.

"No lies!" he confirmed.

"Have you been with women?" He asked.

"Yes…" Diego answered. "Madrid…"

"Not since you returned?"

"Not."

"Me!" Rafael drew attention it was his turn.

"Ask!" Diego agreed.

"Swordfight! Where learned?"

"Madrid. Sir Kendall. Defeated him."

"Kendall…I heard…him…" Rafael uttered.

"Best in Europe…never defeated…" Diego clarified. "Until me…"

Rafael laughed and the others followed his example, then he lay back and started snoring only moments later.

Mendoza put a finger over his lips, trying to get everyone to keep quiet so that Rafael would be able to rest.

"Turn my!" He then said in a loud whisper and Diego nodded. "Luis Ramone…how die?"

"Climbed on roof with...stolen deed...pretended give me, unmasked me...Ramone surprised...lost balance, fell…" Diego told him.

"Not push?"

"No… sorry not caught..." Diego assured him, gently smiling at his friend.

"A relief that is!" Mendoza confessed. "You not kill him glad am I."

"Again!" Mendoza demanded.

Since the other two had no coherent question to ask, they agreed.

"Why lie me? Why Zs? Best friend not?" He asked.

"You are my friend. You...also lancer. Knowing meant you or I die. No more friends." Diego explained.

"You die not I want!" Mendoza stated and went to hug Diego.

"I know, my friend." The caballero answered.

Mendoza fell asleep while hugging him, his head on Diego's shoulder. When he heard him breathe regularly, he asked the other two men to take him to his blanket. Once there, the Lieutenant turned on his side, his back turned to them, and started snoring.

Felipe smiled as he watched from a corner, making his best impression of the invisible man. Three down, two more to go! he thought.

Diego looked at the Escalante brothers expectantly until Ramon remembered he should be asking questions.

"Yes…me…" He stated.

"No…my turn." Francisco said.

"You…then me." Ramon agreed.

Francisco said nothing for a couple of minutes. "Your turn." He eventually decided.

Ramon looked at him and thought he probably forgot what his brother asked, when, in fact, his brother had had an entire, heart-to-heart with Diego in his own mind. "Are you marrying Vic…toria just because…want brothers?"

"Yes!" Diego stated with a chuckle. "You caught me! I wanted brothers."

"He's coh…coer…he makes sense." Francisco noticed.

"Not enough drunk!" Ramon decided and went to get Diego to drink the rest of his glass. The caballero gulped it down to the last drop and faked another grimace.

"Now enough drunk!" Ramon stated with satisfaction, not even considering to smell Diego's glass.

Turning towards Francisco, he noticed his brother had closed his eyes and now was sound asleep in a sitting position. Ramon took a finger to his lips. "Shhhh…" he uttered.

Diego nodded as the last Escalante brother still standing went to help Francisco lie down.

"My turn." Ramon whispered as he returned to Diego. "No question. Promise!"

Diego made his best to look like an inquisitive drunk.

"I want you promise firstborn son give my name!" He demanded. "Ramon de la Vega."

"Firstborn daughter!" Diego negotiated, since he fully intended to give his father's name to his primogénito. "Ramona de la Vega."

"Secondborn son!" Ramon tried to stand his grounds.

"Secondborn daughter!" Diego offered.

"Thirdborn son!"

"Thirdborn daughter!"

"Fourthborn son!" Ramon decided.

"Fourthborn daughter!"

"Fifthborn son!"

"Fifthborn daughter!"

"Sixthborn son!"

"Sixthborn daughter"

"Sev..Eightborn son! No daughter. Eightborn son is Ramon de la Vega!"

"Deal!" Diego agreed, instantly regretting it since he was wondering how far Ramon would have gone if pushed a little further. Even so, he decided it was highly unlikely for Victoria and him to have eight sons, so he chuckled inward when imagining Ramon's disappointment at sobering up the following morning.

"Good brother!" Ramon petted Diego's left shoulder. "Sleep now!" He commanded, then returned to his blanket and instantly fell asleep.

Diego watched as everyone was sleeping, and grinned at Felipe as he stopped pretending his hands were still tied to his back and used them to untie his legs instead.

"You may take the ether-soaked cloth off De Soto." He told his son as he stood up and exited, giving in to his rather urgent need to have some of the liquid he had drunk leave his system. After that business was done, he decided to remain a little longer outside for some fresh air.

Felipe took off the cloth from the Alcalde's nose and the cotton earplugs. Hesitating for a few moments about what to do with the ether-soaked cloth, he decided to leave it on Mendoza's nose, hoping it would stop him from snoring. Making sure everyone was sleeping comfortably and nobody was talking in his sleep, he finally turned in for the night, rapidly succumbing to the tiredness he had accumulated while keeping vigil.

AN: This night is certainly not over just yet…