Who I am

by Scarlett Cash

Golden Age. Susan is sent on a diplomatic meeting without her siblings but along the way she is attacked. Fighting her way out leaves her with a head injury and with the loss of her memory. While her siblings search frantically for her, Susan struggles to remember who she is. As her family soon finds out, it may be more difficult for her to remember them than any of them realize.

19. Chapter 19

I know I am a day late, please forgive me! I ended up needing a little more time for this chapter. I don't want to put out something for you guys before it is ready. I hope you understand. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and please let me know what you think! Thank you, and Happy Easter! ~ Scarlett

"The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said." Matthew 28:5-6

Anna was looking at a dead body. She recognized him. It was one of the dwarfs from the campsite. He was laying on his stomach and had deep lashes pooling blood across his back. For a moment, Anna just looked at him, forgetting her need to run. The sight brought something to mind. It was oddly familiar, however morbid. She suddenly remembered the fearful thrill of running through a wood much like this one, chased by not one, but two dwarfs. She felt a chill run along her spine and her headache pounded against her skull. Then another imaged flashed into her mind. Soldiers – her soldiers being attacked. A friend going down. He was a Centaur, like the General Oreius the Narnian's had. Tears wetted her eyes and a profound heartache gripped her.

For a moment Anna couldn't breathe. Her vision swayed again. She tried to walk but fell to her knees from dizziness. She pulled her head up and caught sight of something lying beside the dead dwarf. It was his bow and arrows. She remembered having Susan's red finned arrows in her grasp that day she was attacked after having led the Narnian's into the woods. She remembered her need to protect Edmund. His need to protect her. She remembered watching him go down, that wolf pouncing on him, and the horrid moment of not knowing if he was okay. A fear had gripped her then, too. It was the fear of losing someone you love...And then the little boy by the window from her memories popped back into her head. He turned around just as an explosion tore through the sky, and for the first time she understood who he was. It was Edmund. A much younger Edmund, but him all the same.

Anna sucked in a gulp of air and forced down something that felt like a sob. No way. No way. I must be imagining – but, it was Edmund.

Just then she heard noises of shouting and running a ways off. She knew she had to move. Had to find the river so that she could find help. She took another deep breath, forcing herself to focus as best as she could on the task at hand, and snatched the bow and quiver of arrows. A silent prayer of thanks went up to Aslan. She could protect herself with this.

She ran on, listening as hard as she could for running water. All the while old memories swirled around in the back of her mind.

…...

Peter had deployed all his men immediately. He had read the ransom note over and over. Had gone up to Susan's room to find her bed a mess, a chair turned over, and ceramic bits of a broken tea cup on the floor. It did look like a struggle had taken place here, and if they had knocked her out, or overpowered her quickly while she slept, it would have been possible for them to get in and get out without Peter waking. Maybe Roan was telling the truth, he thought, though he still refused to trust him. Especially after not finding any entry way looking as if it had been busted or broken into. But for now, Roan was another set of eyes looking for his sister, so he would put up with it.

They set out a few hours before the note said they were supposed to meet at a clearing in the woods for the exchange, giving his men time to search the surrounding areas. But Peter was cautious. He wished Captain Leland had gotten there already. They were due any day now. And the Narnian's could use the extra man power. The bandits had eluded all of them up until now, so there would be a good possibility that they wouldn't find them before the exchange. So, Peter made sure they had bags of money ready, though it was significantly less than what the criminals asked for. The truth was, Peter didn't carry that sort of wealth on him when travelling. That would be foolish for the very reason of burglary. He prayed to Aslan, asking that the bandits wouldn't notice long enough for them to hand over Susan and for the Narnian's to attack. Peter was not about to let them get away.

The troops had been divided up into three groups, with Peter leading one, Edmund another, and Oreius the third. Roan was meant to stay with Peter's group so that he could keep an eye on him. But as Oreius brought up the fact that since they didn't trust him, and that he so conveniently was the only one who saw Susan get kidnapped, it would be smart to keep him away from either King in case he led them into a trap. It also would prove wise, as both Kings were rather frantic once again, though trying very hard to not show it, to let their sole focus be on finding their sister. So Roan went in Oreius' group once everyone fanned out.

But Roan wasn't too keen on staying under the ever-watchful eye of the General. He knew he'd have to be sneakier and do his best to lead the group close to where he thought the bandit's campsite was. Thinking it over, he had a good idea as to its location, which was helpful in having kept the Narnian's away from there in the past. But now it was serving him well. If he could find it before the ransom exchange, he could best those bandit's that forced him into a new deal by happening upon their camp with soldiers, out do them, and carry Anna back to the Estate – earning all the glory and rewards of such an endeavor that he so wished for when having originally devised the plan in the first place. So he was careful in suggesting to Oreius paths to take and areas to scope.

Oreius gathered the handful of soldiers in his lead around him, and kept his voice low enough for Roan not to hear. "We take his advice now, but keep your eyes and ears peeled. I have reason to doubt his intel, so we stay on our guard. Her Majesty may be closer than we think, but I won't have us all taken in before we can find her." He failed to mention the possibility of them dying, though it was present in his mind. He hadn't liked Roan from the moment he first met him, seeing how poorly he treated those who worked for him, and then Peter. He had almost wished that first day that Susan wouldn't be with him, though he quickly saw, as Peter did, that Roan was very quick to treat her better than anyone else at the Estate. He had little now that made him think Roan wasn't just trying to play his cards right and be rewarded by royalty.

So they wandered, eyes sharp and footsteps quiet. Roan mentioned that if Anna was to get away, she'd try to find the river because she knew it would lead her to others. Everyone looked to Oreius, who stood firm and held a look as hard as stone, but he nodded. Their small band started towards the direction of the river. They kept quiet as they went, and soon could just make out the sound of running water. But it was drowned out again once a rustling was heard coming upon them. The sound of shuffling of feet and hooves running across the forest floor came like a bombardment. The sky was just starting to turn light as the sun made its way over the horizon, but clouds crowded the sky, making it so that they couldn't see anyone that may be coming up on them. They listened as it got louder until, quite suddenly, it all coalesced at the top of a slope overlooking them. A wolf, two fauns, and a very flustered looking ape came rushing over. When they saw the group before them, they looked stunned, surprised to find them before them, before turning angry and ready to fight. Arrows and axes were swinging and quite quickly the Narnian's found themselves fighting.

Roan was shocked at first, as this was not a part of their plan and he wondered were they crossing him again. But they didn't even seem to notice him in the group, and took rather to swinging like lunatics, trying whatever they could to simply cut them down. Roan was surprised, as they didn't appear as a ferocious group of bandits, but rather much more scared and out of energy. But that made them wild and hard to handle. He noticed Oreius and the others were very much so caught up in the fighting and thought that this was his chance. Roan took off to the river, hoping to find Anna mostly unguarded since others were attacking the Narnians. If he could just find her and bring her back safely, maybe then Peter wouldn't see him as untrustworthy. And just maybe Anna would make up her mind and take his offer of marriage. Even if she never remembered who she was, no doubt Peter would make sure she was well taken care of with all the finer things. And if she did, well then he would be a king. He held this in his mind as he raced forward.

…...

Anna kept her eyes peeled and her ears listening intently for not just the river, but also for any others that may be lurking around. She had ran once hearing the yells of what she thought were most likely the bandits. But just because one or two went down didn't mean the rest of them had. She was right when speculating that the bandits were camped near the river and only making her wander in the dark to distract and turn her around. She quickly found the river but stayed in the tree line, careful to not be seen by anyone. She was moving swiftly and quietly. It came rather easily to her actually, as more things popped into her memory, reminding her of tricks and movements that would make moving about a foreign terrain easier for her. She didn't want to think too much on why that might be. But it was hard not to as the same words that she thought of upon first waking up in the woods came back to her, reminding her to breathe deep breaths, to steady herself and think of a plan. But now she could remember the voice that told her those words. It was clear and pronounced and strong. It held all the commanding power of a leader and teacher. Anna found it hard not to picture General Oreius saying these things to her on a training ground, though the whole thing still seemed preposterous and unlikely. Peter would have told me.

She kept telling herself that over and over until a snapping jolted her to a stop. She heard running and heavy, laborious breaths coming up ahead. Anna put her back up against a tree, locking an arrow in place, and waited. If it was one of her kidnapper's she wasn't just going to hope they would run by and not notice her. She was putting a stop to this.

The footsteps grew closer and a little slower. She could tell whoever they were, they had been running for a while. She took a deep breath of her own and then swung out from behind the tree, arrow aiming straight for whoever it was. But what she saw made her pause for a moment. The intruder jumped and wide gray eyes she recognized stared back at her.

"Anna! Don't shoot, it's just me!"

"Roan? What are you doing here?"

He took a moment to breathe, then said, "I was with a search party of Narnian's. We were looking for you. But then we were attacked by a group of those criminals. I was able to get away just barely." He paused, hands on his knees while he sucked in more deep breaths. Anna noticed he had a black eye and small bruises on the side of his face right before he spoke again. "I thought you might be close by. I knew I needed to find you. What happened? Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Anna paused, arrow still at the ready, though she had lowered it some. She wanted to trust him, but she felt anger rising in her at him having the audacity to call the bandits criminals. Was he any better? They could have been lying, but everything they said about him seemed to add up. And she'd heard Roan speak of a deal he'd made with them. "Well, clearly I've doing fine on my own. No, I am not hurt. I was able to make an escape. But those criminals, as you say, are still in the area." She kept her tone from being as flat as she felt it would have been had she not forced it out of her and stared as he tried to straighten himself, blond hair plastered by sweat to his forehead. If he was on the bandit's side, he could very well be tricking her now as he had been for so many weeks prior. She needed answers from him, without giving too much away before she had enough backup.

"Will you point that thing somewhere else?" Roan asked with half a grin and nodded to her bow. She lowered it to where it pointed toward the ground but kept the arrow in place as Roan walked closer to her. His hands found her shoulders and he looked her over. "Are you sure you're okay? If they hurt you, I'll-"

"You'll what?"

He let out a small laugh. "Well, let's just say I'd do things I'd rather not repeat in front of a lady."

"It's nothing I wouldn't be able to handle. I've dealt with worse." Like liars and cheats.

"Regardless, I'd wish you not have too." His hand reached up and stroked her cheek. "I am glad you're safe. I was so worried when I saw them take you. I heard them come into the house – once I realized they had gone upstairs and were taking you, I tried to stop them, but there were too many..."

What is he talking about? They never made it past the downstairs study. And they hadn't grabbed me until I was outside. Anna watched him closely. He would have looked like he was telling the truth, had there not been the smallest hint of insincerity in his eyes. Why hadn't she seen it before? Then she realized he still didn't know she had heard him speak of his deal. That she had been on the other side of the study door before the bandits came out. The kidnappers only heard her once she was in the kitchen. Roan wouldn't have seen any of that because he was too busy getting knocked around by the minotaur, as proven by the black eye and bruises. But if he was really lying about more – was responsible for Susan's disappearance – like the bandits said, she didn't need to let him know she knew.

"Yes, I was quite frightened being yanked out of bed like I was. I didn't know what was going on." She said, testing him, bait and switch.

He looked at her, brows tight, and his grin turned into a grim line. "I'm sure. It must have been awfully terrifying."

Anna's heart sank at those words. Though she had suspected him, this nailed the coffin shut. He hadn't a clue that he just signed his confession. He didn't see the bandits go upstairs, he just assumed they had because he knew they were there for her. Because he allowed them into the house. Because he made a deal with them. She felt nothing but betrayal in that moment. But she couldn't let him know that just yet. There were still the others running around the woods. She needed help. So, she pushed lightly away from him and asked, "Where's Peter and the other Narnian's now? There was supposed to be a ransom exchange."

"Yes. At a clearing not far from here. He should be there with the other groups by now."

"We should get going then. Like I said, those...criminals, are still in the area."

"You're quite right." His hand went to the hilt of his sword. "Let's get moving."

They ran on, Anna being sure to keep an arm's length between them and a watchful eye open. The sun had almost fully risen but was now completely covered by clouds, making the world gray as a strong thunder suddenly rumbled across the sky. A shiver ran down Anna's spine. Her heart started racing again, head pounding, as the seriousness of the moment settled in. Among the autumn leaves, there was an eeriness. Anna knew Roan could be leading her into a trap, though she thought it unlikely if he was truly hoping to gain Peter's trust and be rewarded for 'saving' Anna as the minotaur Taron had said. At the thought of Peter, Anna felt her chest restrict. She wanted to be around him and she told herself that it was because he would prove another defense against Roan and the bandits. And not because she was Susan. But at that thought, more questions ran through her mind. She needed more answers from Roan, but she had to be careful as to how she got them.

"Roan, when I was with the bandits, they brought up Queen Susan. They said they knew the route she had been taking because some government official gave them the information. You don't think it was someone you work with, do you?" She hoped her voice was even enough that it wouldn't seem like she knew it was him. Thankfully, her running made it easier to hide as she sounded out of breath either way.

She glanced at Roan. He went pale and a harsh anger flashed through his eyes. Then it was gone and he looked at her, clearly gauging how much she knew. Anna put on the most innocent and confused face she could muster and then looked forward to avoid tripping, adding, "I'm just wondering, because maybe they know what happened to her. Maybe it would help King Peter and his family. It might be a good lead for you to present him with if you have any idea of who it is."

The suspicion cleared from his face then and was replaced by a thoughtful expression. "Yes, yes that may be something he'll find valuable. Did they mention anything else?"

"No, it was just that. I was scared that maybe they'd taken her too. Thought I could maybe help find her, if I were to ever get away from them." Anna hope her white lies had been believable enough. Roan looked her over carefully once more but seemed unfazed after a moment.

"That was very selfless of you, Anna. And never fear, we'll be out of these woods and safe very soon. But don't worry yourself over what they said. It is very likely they were lying, but I'll look into it. If anything is there then I'll let His Majesty know."

"That's very kind of you. I'm sure Peter will come around to you sooner than you realize." Anna bit her tongue, hoping that sounded truthful. Roan looked rather happy at her words so she took it as him having not noticed.

They ran on and shortly Roan told her they were coming upon the small clearing.

"We'll not want to get too close. We're on the bandit's side, the Narnian's we'll be across the clearing from here. We don't want them to see us from afar and think we're the enemy." Anna could have blanched at the irony of those words but was too preoccupied by her growing headache. It hurt behind her eyes and she was certain that it was from the bombardment of all the new information. But she found herself shaking in the cold air, though she didn't think it was just from the temperature. The image of the younger version of Edmund came to mind again. Then Lucy in front of the mirror, telling her Susan always braided her hair. Anna still pushed back against these memories. She was still missing a piece of the puzzle. I don't understand-

A strong roar ripped through the air. Anna froze, as did Roan. It was just the same as what Anna had heard earlier at the campsite.

"What was that?" Roan asked, eyes wide with a fear Anna had never seen in him before.

"I don't know. I heard it earlier – when I was with the bandits. It's how I was able to get away actually-" Another roar came, closer this time, along with yells.

Roan grabbed Anna and pushed them both behind a tree, sword unsheathing. "There's never been lions in this wood. Nowhere near here." He said, sword slightly quivering in his hands.

"That's what you think that is? A lion?"

"What else could sound like that?" He was right, Anna knew. She had heard a lion's roar before and now that he said that, there was no doubt in her mind that's what it was.

Anna was trying to think of the best course of action. They were halfway to the Narnian side of the clearing, and if she looked hard enough to the right through the trees, she could see the green grass in the lonely field. Lightning lit up the sky then, and a rushing noise came after it. There was the running of feet and hooves and paws across a leaf splattered forest floor. Behind her in the direction they had come, Anna saw a satyr, a wolf and a minotaur rushing toward the clearing, clearly unaware they were coming upon it as they looked much more frightened by what they were running from. A large, dark shape was with them and it hit Anna that that was the werewolf, though he too was running from something.

Altogether, racing, fearful, manic, they plunged out into the clearing. Anna shot forward, pushing away from Roan to get a closer look. She saw six more, dwarfs, a satyr, and a wolf hesitate, before dropping from the trees or running from hidden burrows to join the others. She thought back to the conversations she overheard at the campsite. Those must have been the one's sent out early to scope and wait for the others.

A great yell was heard after that. Standing at the edge of the tree line, Anna saw then what the forest had been hiding from her. A band of Narnian soldiers were running forward from their side of the small clearing to meet the bandits. She heard the sharp clash of metal on metal. Shouts like battle cries rang out and thunder drummed like that at the beginning of a war. Rain droplets fell from the sky as she watched arrows fly, swords swing, and creatures tear into each other. The werewolf ripped at Narnian fauns. The minotaur swung violently and haphazardly with his axe, while Oreius and others sprang into action. Anna scanned the scene. Soldiers and bandits blurred around each other. Her senses felt overloaded at the noise, the temperature, and the sight. Her headache slammed harder into her as Roan rushed up, yanking her arm, saying something about a lion and how they should get moving. But she ignored him. Something had caught her attention.

A blond head was at the forefront of the onslaught, wielding a sword with strength and a vengeance. He tore through the crowd, head swiveling like he was searching for something. Or someone.

The thought captured her. He was looking for her. And not just because she had been the one the exchange was made for. He had been looking for her for much longer than that. She was suddenly and violently hit with a flash of memories – She saw herself in some dark hall, running towards him as lightning shredded the night sky - She remembered him throwing snowballs at Lucy - She saw him laughing as he pushed Edmund into the ocean - She saw him seated on a throne, surrounded by three others - Then he was standing before her, an odd look on his face, while sheets drying on wires whipped in the breeze around them – Another roar louder than any other tore through the air as a slap of thunder clashed after it.

Peter.

She knew then. There was no more denying it. Something resounded in her loud and clear. I remember. I know who I am.

She stood there shaking for a moment, head still spinning and aching, and watched as Peter swung Rhindon with skill. He was lunging at one of the bandits when she saw. The werewolf was making his way through the Narnian's, a rage and wildness in his eye. He was heading straight for Peter.

She shot forward before she realized it. Vaguely she heard Roan calling out, but it was a name that didn't belong to her. She went as fast as she could, rounding through a few that were fighting, eyes losing sight of Peter for a moment before landing on him again. His back was turned towards her and the werewolf.

"Peter!" She shouted before sliding to a stop behind him, bow raised and arrow pointed just as the werewolf slashed at a Narnian and raised his arm to land a blow on the High King.

Peter turned as he heard the thwung of a bow string. He had to pivot and nearly tripped to keep his raised sword from swinging on the girl behind him. He pulled his eyes up at the same second the werewolf let out a howl as her arrow burrowed its way into his chest. Peter shot his head toward Susan, who turned to look at him, eyes locking.

And then his gaze was gone and she felt herself forced backward as Peter yanked her towards him and just out of the way of an enraged blow from the werewolf. Peter pulled her in tight to his side with his shield before them as the beast trudged forward, sweat dripping off its long snout, dark eyes deepening as it released a low growl.

The werewolf took a step forward, with an almost deranged smile. Peter made to strike but was unable to before both he and his sister were forced forward, falling to the ground with the momentum of what had hit them.

The two of them forced themselves to turn over onto their backs and found a few Narnian's were near their feet, having been knocked over by the minotaur. But Susan only saw them for a split second before the werewolf appeared above her and Peter. Both scrambled as another growl came from the beast. Suddenly a yell escaped Peter as the werewolf stepped on the top of his shield, forcing his weight on the arm pinned under it. Susan scrambled and reached an arm back to her quiver, grappling for an arrow with one hand and a hold on her bow with the other. The werewolf swatted at her, sending her sprawling backwards. Arrows spilled from the quiver and she was able to grasp hold of one just as the beast went to knock Rhindon from Peter's unblocked hand. She heard another yelp from Peter just as she heard another thwung. Her arrow had landed in one of the beast dark, steely eyes with a squishing sound. As quick as the lightning overhead she sent another one, the sharp rock cutting straight into his heart.

The great beast howled the most guttural sound she thought she had ever heard before falling backward.

Seeing his numbers were dwindling and now watching the werewolf fall, the minotaur Taron bellowed a harsh and angry sound, trampling straight for the girl who shot his best defender. Susan's dress caught underneath her feet and she slipped on the now wet grass as she tried to stand. The minotaur reached her too soon, axe raised high. She shut her eyes as it came down, unable to move away fast enough, when she heard the great shock of metal resounding. Opening her eyes, she found Peter, still on the ground, had shoved himself in front of her. His shield took on the weight of the axe, its force making him fall backward on top of her. If the minotaur felt pain rippling up his arm, he didn't show it. He pulled the axe up again while Peter and Susan went backward trying to stand. Taron was about to bring it down when his head shot to the side, seeing an oncoming attack.

Edmund swung his sword at Taron, but the minotaur used the length of the handle to block the attack. Peter and Susan scrambled to their feet as Taron spared a few shots, before kicking Edmund in the stomach, then used the edge of the axe to catch Edmund's sword just right, forcing it out of his hand. Peter ran up to block the minotaur's blow to Edmund's head, as Susan searched the ground for her bow. Grasping it, she reached behind her to her quiver but found all the arrows were gone, remembering they spilled out when she fell. If she could just get a few she could send them from a distance, stopping Taron in his tracks. She caught sight of them, a few feet from Peter and the beast, splayed across the ground. Many had been stepped on by the minotaur, broken in half. But one lay untouched, fully intact.

Susan ran and slid on her knees to reach it. Looking up, she found Peter and the minotaur were closer, only a foot or two from her. She could feel the wind from each swing of the sword and axe. Still on her knees, she leaned backward and set the arrow, praying for the perfect opening.

She saw just then, Taron reaching up, both hands gripping the axe, leaving his chest and abdomen exposed. She knew he was going to swing down. She knew Peter was going to try to block him. She had to act fast. All in one second, she felt her fingers release their grip on the end of the arrow. She felt the vibrations of the string. She saw her weapon lodge its way in between the minotaur's ribs. She heard him roar in pain. And then she noticed out of the corner of her eye his axe coming down in her direction, gripped in his left hand. And then she felt the smooth side of it connect with her temple.

Instantly there was wet grass under her cheek. Her eyes were closed with stars shooting behind them.

She heard someone yell "Susan!", and then the plunging of a sword into flesh. A thud landed beside her, and after she felt a hand pushing her hair away from the side of her head that hurt as voices were calling out. Are they speaking to me? She couldn't tell and she didn't respond. Someone lifted her up then. Their chest was warmer than she was and she involuntarily curled into it. Voices were all around her again but one was closest, vibrating behind the chest she was leaning against.

"Susan, Susan can you hear me?! – Anna – just please, answer me." He sounded scared. She hated it. She tried her best to pull her eyelids open, but found it hard to do at first. When she finally did manage it, she could see the rain falling down on her, but she was also able to clearly see the face before her. It was the blond headed boy from her memories, the one whose face she could never quite make out but who was always familiar to her. He looked at her now with a broken expression, fear scrunching his blue eyes. She could make out who he was clearly for the first time.

"Peter...Peter -"

"Hey, hey." He breathed out, giving her a weak smile but appearing like he might cry. "I'm right here. Stay with me okay, you're going to be fine."

She stared at him, feeling something drip down the side of her face. Vaguely, she wasn't so sure that it was rain. But it didn't seem that important. All she could think about was the person she was looking at. It was Peter. Her older brother. She needed to tell him, he needed to know that she remembered.

"Peter, I -" She tried speaking again, weakly grabbing onto his chainmail. He looked down at her, and his face paled. She didn't know why. But the more she tried to talk to him, the less she seemed to be able to. His face started blurring like it had always been in her memories as darkness started clouding her vision. He was saying something to her. She couldn't tell what. But he looked frantic. She thought they were moving quickly and she noticed the rain had turned his blond hair dark, plastering it to his forehead. She tried to speak again, but only mumbled as her head lulled onto his shoulder, eyes closing as she blacked out.

*hides behind desk* Please don't throw anything at me! I was going to post the whole conclusion in this chapter but it was too long. But I promise to have it up within a day or two, so be on the look out for that last chapter coming soon! And then we can all see Susan telling her family she remembers. In the meantime, I hope everyone has had a Happy Easter! Please review and tell me what you think! Thank you!