Chapter 15:
The Black Naga floated at anchor off the coast of the King's floating island, the calm seas providing a bit of a contrast from the wild seas they'd fought crossing the ocean. It gave Nieve a bit of a surreal feeling as she climbed up onto the deck. After the terror of fighting the storms crossing the seas, and the hours of icy fear sitting in the dark in her cabin waiting for cannon-shot to come tearing through the walls, Nieve felt like she'd been reborn. Olesia's words last night had opened a new horizon in her mind. This was the world of Ooo's First Family.
Part of her thought that, if this was Billy's world, he could bloody well keep it. At the same time, she'd married into this whole thing not even realizing what she was stepping into. This was the very real world of a warrior-king, and it was something she would have to remember going forward. She didn't really want to be this close to the action, but she was going to be part of it, at least out on the periphery. You have a part to play, she thought. Your job is to keep the madness tamped down, best you can, so your husband doesn't have to go chasing pirate-ships across wild seas. If idiots like Margarida and Red Kate had been doing their jobs, the Bandit Princess would have been rounded up quite a while ago like her mad little friend.
Carrying her small bag, Nieve followed William, as he clambered down the ladder to the boat waiting to carry them to the shore. The big man was right there to catch her and help her get her feet settled when she reached the bottom. She immediately stood aside to let Olesia step onto the boat next. They were becoming friends. Wife and Mistress were becoming friends. They had a surprising amount in common. As the boat lurched into motion, bouncing on the waves, both young women lay their heads on either of Billy's shoulders. It was a comforting moment after all the stress the last few weeks. It was good to be home.
Arriving in the castle's water-gate, Billy was greeted by his friend and subordinate. As Billy climbed up onto the dock, Leo Pedersen strode up and offered the young prince a salute. Billy was having none of that. Grabbing Leo's hand, the big man offered him a bro-hug instead. "Good to see you, man," he said. Leo chuckled. "You may not think that way for long..." There was a lot waiting on Billy. The Ice Prince motioned for his friend to lead on, with his ladies falling in behind. As they walked up the pier, the Froyo-Person told him about all that had gone down.
"Rounded up a couple more spies," Leo said. "Melody rolled over on a pack of them. We're squeezing them for what we can get out of them." They were ahead. Melody had even pointed out the weak spot in the wall up in the mountains east of Wildberry Kingdom where Chelsea had managed to get troops across by hanging ropes across a mountain pass. "Your sister's planning on moving the barrier as soon as she's able to get out there," Leo said. They had time. They had much more time to get it right. "I've taken charge of doing a survey," the soldier said. "I'm going to pick the route myself." It was that important.
Arriving at the entry to the castle proper, Leo opened the door with a flourish, ushering his master inside. Billy chuckled at the gesture until he caught sight of just who was waiting for him there. "R-rags," Billy howled? The Frozen Yogurt Princess gave him a sheepish grin and a nod. And then, what the fuck was he complaining about?! His wife looked dynamite! The big man swept his newly-young wife off her feet and twirled her around before kissing her thoroughly. He might have kept that lip-lock going, but Noemi cleared her throat, announcing her presence. Billy looked up to find the Jungle Princess and the Purple Princess both standing there, waiting their turns as it were. As Billy found himself getting reacquainted with wives he almost didn't recognize, Olesia dipped out, slipping away. This wasn't the moment for her to be around.
South and east of His Majesty's new palace, Peihong the Bandit Princess found herself facing the collapse of all her carefully constructed schemes. She'd waited for hours for her weapon to strike the palace. When nothing came, she'd called the ship and gotten no answer. Calling Melody got her nothing as well. It was pretty clear in the harsh light of day what had happened. Melody had likely gotten caught. She'd been late to the meet because she'd been under interrogation. She'd flipped on Peihong and squealed about the plan. Finn's crew had gotten to her ship before it could launch the weapon.
She was fucked.
She was so screwed, it made her head spin to think about it. After binge-drinking into the wee hours, the ogress had finally pulled herself together and headed out to try and see what she could salvage out of this. That meant finding her spymaster and seeing what he could tell her. She hadn't heard much from Damien Vega since his attempt to wrest power from the Agent Princess. Now she saw why.
He was dead. He was pretty fucking thoroughly dead. The walls. Glob, the walls were covered in blood, as if Damien's veins had been used as a spray-paint can. The man himself was gone. Well, mostly. His body was gone. All that was left was his head, impaled on the coat-rack, with his dick in his mouth and his balls hanging out on his chin. A sign had been pinned to his scrotum, announcing to the world that, 'Rape is Evil'.
She knew then that this was the King of Ooo's doing. Damien had waged a war to do in fucking Orzsebet, with Peihong pushing and pushing him to get rid of her. She'd come at it from a couple of different directions, helping out with bribes and placing compromising information in the master spy's hands that would shade the skinny little bitch in a very bad light. He'd come close in the voting six times, but six times the Agent Princess had prevailed. Oh, she'd pissed off enough people that she'd gotten a much-deserved and rather thorough beating. At the same time, Damien hadn't managed to push the Committee to do anything worse than that. Now it appeared that his efforts had backfired in a really ugly way.
It was ironic. It was ironic because Orzsebet had been beaten because the Firm suspected she was the King of Ooo's bitch. Now everyone knew she was Finn's bitch, and Orzsebet had become untouchable because of that fact. It was ironic because the Bandit Princess had sought to do the very same thing. Reasoning that he would never murder the mother of his child, she'd tried to innoculate herself against sanction by using intimacy with the King of Ooo. Now she was trapped on this road, headed straight into conflict with a man who could easily best her in any kind of fair fight. She could almost hear her brother calling her name. The sounds of the lost souls she'd slain were getting closer and closer with each passing day.
As she contemplated her fate, a dark thought played over and over. She could use the strange creature she'd found. She could call the thing that haunted her prize's thoughts. It was out there in the darkness, and she had the grand antenna. If she couldn't have Ooo, she could destroy it. It was a thought of utterest damnation, but that was where her mind was right now. Of course, she had to get back to her holdfast in the west, and that meant getting away from here. It was quite possible that there were watchers here, looking for somebody to be meeting Damien, else why leave such a scene? They're probably on their way up to catch me, she thought. Suiting action to thought, the Bandit Princess strode to the window, throwing it wide. She'd be going up and over the roof if she wanted to get away from here with her skin.
Back at the Royal Palace, Olesia came strolling into the space that had been laid out in one of the grand spires of the castle, having been directed there by the staff. The space was reserved for Billy's burgeoning family, and she wanted to look in on the kids to see that they were alright. Instead of the children, she found the Lizard Princess. "Oh," she burbled. "I thought you'd be at home..."
"Came for Finn's Grand Housewarming," Hamest replied, as she stood up. "I see you got it too," Olesia burbled. The Lizard princess flushed. The doctor had been going over her from the top of her head to the tip of her tail, when she'd breathed in something. Shortly thereafter, she'd been sneezing to beat the band. When she'd gone to bed that night, this had happened. Not that she was complaining, though she was a little worried about her child.
That was a problem for the future. Striding towards the younger woman, the Lizard Princess reached into a pocket and brought out a very familiar necklace. Olesia's jaw hung. "H-how," she stammered? "Pyschology, dear girl," Hamest replied, as she handed the Fire Drop across. "Your rotten little sister is a vain little bitch. A few nasty words from my courtiers... some whispered rumors... She was happy to get rid of it." Olesia threw her arms around the Lizard Princess and hugged her hard enough to hurt. "Easy on the ribs," gasped Hamest. "Living for two..."
On the far side of the palace, another princess was looking at the consequences of her actions now that she was living for three. Sakura had a bit of a problem. She'd accomplished her goal of getting preggers. Trouble was, she didn't really know who the father was. That was an important issue for a princess. The name of her father's child was just as important as the child itself. There was a cachet to Finn being the dad. Finn was the old hand, keeping the peace. Indeed, with his newly attained youth, he would still be keeping the peace for a fair bit longer. William's name had begun to attain the fame and significance of his father, and William, being an immortal wizard, was an asset to have in her people's corner. So Sakura wasn't particularly concerned that the father would be a problem. She just needed to know.
Of course, nothing dealing with health–and babies–seemed to come easy. She couldn't go to her own doctor with this. She'd come to Dr. Princess, who had both the knowledge and the on-hand materials to conduct this most important of tests. The Truth Field Princess was on the edge of her seat just now, and anxiety was threatening to overwhelm her. She wanted that answer, now, now, now! The doctor was fuming and frowning and looking at the document in her hands in a display that threatened to give Sakura an aneurism. "Ok," she demanded, "which one is it?!"
"It's both," Drew replied.
Sakura frowned. She couldn't have heard that right. Tempted to reach for her power, the little princess instead took a deep, deep breath, and asked, "uhm... what does that mean?" "You have twins," Drew replied. "Two girls. One is Finn's daughter. The other is Bill's." The Truth Field Princess did exert her power now, as she demanded, "what do you mean?" "Genetically, they're very close," the doctor replied, "but one is clearly Finn's daughter. The other is clearly Billy's." She had genetic samples from both, but Billy's sample showed his lineage to Simone. "What does that mean," Sakura demanded? "One of your daughter's is going to have ginormous knockers," Drew blurted. Sakura flushed to her hair. She'd used a little too much power there. That was too much honesty.
"I... that's not possible," the Truth Field Princess babbled. With a shrug, Drew replied, "yeah... it is. It's rare. You had two eggs in the same fertility window. The second was expelled prior to the first implanting." Sakura's blush deepened. How was she going to explain this? She had two kids by two different dudes. At the same time. If that didn't say she was a garden-tool, nothing did. "I-I can't do this," she babbled. "Sure you can," Drew replied. "You pick one of them to be the father, and you go out there, and you lie like a dog." Sakura glared at her. That actually wasn't really possible. She couldn't lie. Literally. "Well, you'll have to think of something if you don't want people to know," Drew retorted. In the right now, she had other things to get done. There were kids to move and an infirmary to set up.
Downstairs, Fionna was cornering her grandmother in the new library. Fresh from the Jungle Kingdom, the curvy blonde had a lot of questions for Betty. Laying out her drawings from the caverns around the nuke-fuel bunker, the Bad Bunny asked, "recognize any of this? They say they lost their records of what it all means..." Betty took the drawings and began to sift through them, turning them this way and that and even holding them up to the light. It was her way. She didn't tend to blurt things out. She was... cerebral. At least that was the word Fionna remembered her grampa using.
"The ESA was the European Space Agency," Betty explained. "They were the people charged with building peaceful rockets for Europe..." Wrinkling her nose, Fi asked, "peaceful rockets?" "Not everything was a weapon back in my day," Betty chuckled. "Most things were made for common everyday use, Fi. You're... Bonnie and Nadia are only beginning to rediscover commonplaces that we all knew." Fishing in her pocket, Betty put her phone on the table. "This was one of the commonplaces of our time," Betty said. "You think of it as this grand, amazing, new thing, but in my day, nearly everybody had a phone in his or her pocket, even in the poorest kingdoms." Pointing upwards, the older woman explained, "airplanes, like Nadia's, were common. Rockets weren't quite common, but they were in use by many countries. They were used to put satellites in orbit, just like Bonnie uses her saucer. Only there were hundreds of satellites, maybe thousands."
Fionna's jaw came open, and it was clear that she was having a little trouble wrapping her newly-enhanced brain around that. Nodding, Betty said, "the ESA built rockets for this part of the world–the part we're living in now. It was called Europe when I was your age. The ESA sometimes worked with my countrymen... We had a group called NASA. They both built rockets, and sometimes they worked together on big projects..." Wrinkling her nose, the brunette remarked, "but nothing really with nuclear reactors."
"Sure they did," Patrick remarked, as he came in the door. Fi turned to face her hubby. "Dad used to talk about how they would make these satellites and send them far out into space," the young wizard remarked. "There's not much sunlight out there, so they had to build 'em with small reactors... just to keep them going." Betty nodded. Now that her son mentioned it, she did vaguely recall some of the longer-range space-probes using nuclear fuel for power. "But your dad and I never saw anything so big that they needed fuel on the scale of what Abieuwa and her people have been making." Sitting himself, Patrick nodded. That was puzzling him too. "Of course, they've been making stuff for a thousand years, mom," he said. "Maybe they kept going long after there wasn't a need?" It was an intriguing thing, and it had Fionna's attention piqued.
"Daddy's going over to this Gee-Anna place," she said. "Guiana," Betty corrected before she remembered that Fionna was faking. Knowing the whys of that, Betty said, "it's Guy-Anna, Fi." Wrinkling her cute nose, the Bad Bunny said, "Lieutenant Pedersen's draggin' me out to the mountains, or I'd be going too." Hugging his girl, Patrick said, "responsibility. It's a thing, huh?" Fionna put out her tongue at him. "There's going to be time for all of us to go," Betty reminded her. She was planning to go and see the place–to put her hands on a piece of her own past. In the now, they had work to do here. They were going to be moving the family to this castle, and it was all-hands-on-deck to get it done.
Fionna was a little ambivalent about that. She missed the house she and Patrick had sort of inherited when Betty moved out. She missed being able to go by the tree-house when she wanted. Hugging her, Patrick reminded his wife, "but we get to travel, Fi. Like we always said we would." Their lives had gotten interrupted, first by Fi's illness from the Quicksilver Curse, and then by the Lich War. This was, in a lot of ways, a chance to get back to the life they'd had before. In some ways, it was better. They'd have their family with them and a literal base to operate from so their kids would be taken care of.
As Betty discussed the future with the pair, the rest of the family was in the private conference room discussing the here-and-now. Survivors from the wreck of the pirate ship had told Billy that Bandit Princess was not on board. She was still out there. She was out there, and she still had poison gasses and other terrible weapons to try again. At the same time, Finn wanted to go over to the western lands and take a look at what was there. In his strange, intuitive way, he'd immediately seen a way to capitalize on what Bandit Princess had done to improve the world.
"Dr. Beto said that his people have been waiting and taking care of the place so that the folk of the past can come back and make the jungle roar once more," Finn said. It hadn't made much sense at all until Nadia had come back to tell them what the sacred site had once been. Blanca's people had been caring for the ancient rocket-base, much like Nadia's folk cared for the wrecked nuke-plant in their homeland. Only the rocket-base was something useful instead of an evil remnant of his people's mistakes.
"I want to take Sarah over to Coca Kingdom and look around," the King said. "I want to see what it would take to rebuild the rocket-base. InterFone's been squealing that they want another satellite..." They wanted more, but Bonnie's saucer could only carry one of the things at a time, and Bonnie was pretty much required to fly Bonnie's saucer up to space to launch the satellite. She wasn't simply going to hand over something so valuable. The ancient rocket-base was a grand opportunity to make Blanca's peeps happy and help the world at the same time.
"I need Sarah here with me," Bonnie interrupted. When Finn turned her way, the tall princess said, "the castle isn't finished, Finn. There's still systems to get tested and squared away. It isn't enough to slap this thing together. We need to get all the systems running as soon as we can. Bandit Princess's attack has shown me that we're vulnerable, babe. Now's not the time to slow down." Finn nodded. Hadn't he said as much when he'd put Lollipop and Shoko on the job of getting this thing done? "Ok," he said, though he was clearly disappointed. "You can take Blargetha," Hurletta offered. "She can be useful for something other than causing trouble."
It was a strange and disturbing offer. At the same time, he wanted the help. Still, it would be a while before he could go. There was a lot of stuff to get done before he could board the airship to head west. Finn moved the meeting on. He wanted to talk about the issue of getting the 'wall' finished in the spring before they faced another deluge of people coming from the east. He wanted to funnel them towards controlled openings in the barrier so they could check them over, make sure they weren't letting in bandits, and find the newcomers homes so they wouldn't be wandering around, getting into trouble.
The news was a little bad because the Dipped had destroyed a lot of forest. There had been trees aplenty before Suadela's rampage. Bonnie could never have imagined a world where trees were in short supply. Unfortunately, the Dipped had killed a lot of the trees that could have been used to put up quick housing. "We're kinda' boned," she said. It wasn't quite what Finn wanted to hear. Fortunately, Simone had an answer. "Mud-huts," she offered. "My dad had memories of something called adobe from his old life in the west. It was like a kind of mud. We have plenty of mud and dirt we can use. I'll... Wizard City hasn't been doing a lot, Finn. I can find some use for idle hands by putting them to work maybe stabilizing the mud... freezing it in shape." "Let's go with that," Finn said. The next wave of people would be coming real-flippin'-soon. He was sure of it. He was horrified by the thought of turning them away empty handed.
It was going to be time for the Privy Council to meet soon. Finn adjourned their internal meeting in favor of having lunch. There was little point in going in for a beating on an empty stomach after all. Talk around the table was positive. Bonnie and Betty were delighted about the new crop of Royal Heirs that was coming soon, though Emeraude couldn't really help rolling her eyes. Where the two Royal Busy-Bodies saw stability, the former Huntress Wizard saw greed with an authoritarian bent.
"And what's your plan, Matriarch Emeraude," Bonnie retorted? "If we let things go on as they are, we continue the pointless scheming. We need our ducks in a row for what's coming." "And how do we know that anything's coming at all," Emeraude retorted? It was a good question–one Bonnie didn't have an answer for. They'd pretty thoroughly creamed Martin's evil crew. Nobody should know about how things had gone. "People who want deadly weapons don't give up," Finn rumbled. "I'm sorry, E. I don't want to do this, but I've seen what people who see that power look like. My dad came back twice to get it. It may not be in my lifetime. It may not even be in yours, but those same forces are out there looking for a monster that can smash whole worlds. I don't plan on giving it to them without a fight."
The King's face was clearly troubled by what he was having to do–and the potential place his own children had in the madness. Simone took Finn's hand under the table. She liked this not at all herself. She thought more of the children than anything else. At the same time, they were on this road. It was time to accept this for what it was and steer away from the ditch best they could.
Lollipop rose early, leaving lunch to head out to the Council Chamber. All the princesses of Ooo would be gathering, jostling for prime seats. That was how this thing ran. A princess's place in the seating arrangement was a sign of favor, and it was important to shuffle those seats around so nobody got ideas about their own grandeur. Arriving in the audience hall, the slim candy-person directed traffic, personally steering the princesses here and there according to a random seating plan developed by one of Bonnie's science-geeks. As the clock struck one in the afternoon, all were in their places, and the Royal Entourage stepped out of the chambers behind the throne to greet them.
Settling himself front and center with Bonnie on his left and Simone and Emeraude on his right, the King of Ooo called the meeting to order. "Last night," said he, "Prince William defeated an attempt by the Bandit Princess to launch a weapon of destruction at this castle." Terrified squeals and whispers of consternation greeted those words. "Rumor control," Finn rumbled. "You were going to hear about it, so I'm telling you what we know in advance." He told them everything about the business, from where the material for the bomb had come from, who had acquired it and how, on to how Bandit Princess had acquired the launching platform.
Naturally, the blithering idiots in the audience wanted to shut this Justin Wilson down and take his property from him. "Captain Justin committed no crime," Bonnie interrupted. "He was not aware of the sanction on the Bandit Princess. We will be rectifying that problem. Starting today, Princess Star will be standing up a cross-kingdom policing force dedicated to the job of tracking criminals like the Bandit Princess. We will draft a charter, and all registered Royals will sign it before leaving the island."
"That brings us to the issue of an additional satellite," declared the Chairman of InterFone. As the princesses turned to look at the skinny Froyo Person, he said, "it might help in your efforts to have more capacity to send messages. Our capacity in the west is... patchy, Your Highness." "Say on," Finn rumbled. He'd been expecting this. It was going to be another big hit to the Treasury. At the same time, he didn't see a way forward. He had to get communications in place in the west, and, right now, he had only a bit of communications with Tequila Kingdom.
As the princesses listened in dismay, the Chairman laid out all that he thought needed to get done and also just how much it was going to cost. The bill for everything even had Finn whistling. That was a lot of coins. "We can do it in stages, Your Majesty," the Chairman said, "starting with the capitols of the Islands and this Stilt Town. We can set up ground stations in those four or five places. Local communications can handle the rest to start. That will at least let you extend your reach..."
A commotion at the entry interrupted the Chairman. As Finn warily watched, the doors were thrown open and eight slim figures in pale white mantles came striding in. By their gait, the big man could tell all eight were females. Heels clacking on the tiles, they made their hips dance as they came up the main aisle, causing more than a few of the male courtiers–and even a few women–to stare. Flashes of pale blue skin under their hoods told the Matriarch of the Grey Forest who they were before they reached the dais.
"Water-Nymphs," Emeraude declared. She'd met their kind before. "Greetings, King of Ooo," announced one of the strange visitors, as she doffed her hood. She was an older woman with a round face, pale blonde hair, and eyes the color of storm-tossed sea. Simone frowned at her. They weren't using the honorific, Your Majesty, suggesting that the things Billy and Nieve had said were true. The Confederation didn't plan on recognizing Finn as their overlord any time soon. One thing at a time, she told herself. These women were here for something. It was important to let this play out so they could see what it was the Confederation wanted.
"My master was unable to accept your invitation," said the plump nymph. "Matters of state kept her at home." Indicating the woman at her side, she said, "her daughter is sent here in her place." The younger woman doffed her hood, revealing familiar yellow eyes. "Tallulah," Finn burbled. He was a little surprised by this development. "I thought you went home," he murmured. "I did, King of Ooo," she replied. Putting on a strange, almost sinister smile, the water-nymph stripper added, "I came back for unfinished business."
And thus ends Act I, with signs that Act II is getting started. The nymphs are up to no good, and Peihong has one last card to play. Will the Bandit Princess go down swinging and maybe take all of Ooo with her? Or will our heroes put an end to her schemes for good?