A/N: This chapter and next chapter are both super long compared to the others. I just got carried away. Also, in "All In", I describe how Teddy and Allison (her friend, not daughter) met when they were five (as that was before the show told us more about them), in case anyone is wondering why I deviate from what Grey's gave us. Enjoy and review!

Chapter 22: Megan Age 16

Leo (18), Allison (17)

Megan and Sarah looked at each other in the back seat of Allison's car.

"Allie, is this really a good idea?" Megan asked her.

Allison rolled her eyes. "Relax, goody two shoes."

"Mom would be so mad if she knew we were going to this party," Megan muttered.

"Yeah, but Mom doesn't need to know," Allison told her. "And, she won't be mad as long as you're not drinking. Which you won't be."

"Are you?" Megan asked accusingly.

"No," Allison insisted. She liked going to parties to hang out with her friends but knew that if she drank, her parents would know as soon as she got home. She definitely didn't want to be grounded. When Megan and Sarah had admitted that they had never been to a real party before, Allison insisted that they go with her to the next senior party.

"So, is Liam coming tonight?" Allison asked, having invited him. "Please tell me he at least has gone to parties."

"He has. But, he's out of town this weekend," Megan told her. They had been dating for over a year now.

"Which means I'm her date for the night," Sarah said. Megan and Sarah held each other's hand, both knowing that going to this party was way out of their comfort zone.

They pulled up to the house that was hosting the party tonight and went inside. Usually, the seniors held parties that were for seniors only, but Allison simply smiled and batted her eyelashes at the boy at the door and Megan and Sarah went in.

Allison showed them around. Megan was a little disgusted by how rowdy everyone was. The smell of beer filled the air. Allison stuck by the two younger girls until one of her friends came up to her crying. Allison told Megan that she'd be right back, taking her friend to the bathroom to find out what was wrong.

"Alright everyone in the living room," a girl announced standing on top of the coffee table. "Let's play some good old-fashioned truth or dare."

Megan and Sarah looked at each other and shrugged, deciding to join in. The first few people to go chose truth, as did Megan when it was her turn.

"Hmm, okay," the girl who was hosting this game said, thinking of what to ask. "Are you a virgin?"

"Yes," Megan said shyly. She knew it seemed strange to everyone. She and Liam had been together for a long time. Lately, sex had become a topic they talked about. Liam thought they were ready to take that step but Megan wasn't totally comfortable with it. He never pressured her into anything but she could tell he felt slightly hurt that she wasn't ready, as if something were wrong with him. Megan tried to explain that she just wanted her first time to be with someone she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Of course, that just hurt him more because he already knew that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, at least as well as a teenager could think that.

"What the hell, I choose dare," Sarah selected, being the next one in the circle.

"Okay, we'll go easy on you since you are the first daring soul and you're not a senior," the host said. "I dare you to make out with someone for at least 15 seconds, longer if you want."

Sarah furrowed her eyebrows. She was seventeen and still hadn't had her first kiss. She suddenly regretted choosing dare. "Who?"

"Whoever you want," the girl insisted. "Personally, I'd go with whatever senior you've had a crush on. There's no way to lose in this situation."

Megan looked over to Sarah who looked around the room. She was about to tell her that she didn't have to do this and that they could leave the game if she didn't feel comfortable when she suddenly felt Sarah's lips pressed against hers, Sarah's hand cupping her cheek.

Megan was taken completely off guard, tensing at first. But, it made sense that she wouldn't want to kiss one of those random, drunk strangers at the party. Megan relaxed and kissed her back. She was surprised by how much she enjoyed the kiss. Sarah's lips were soft and were putting just the right amount of pressure against her mouth. She almost forgot that anyone else was in the room, opening her mouth to allow Sarah's tongue to flick against hers.

"Okay, that was 30 seconds," the host said, Megan now remembering where they were. Megan pulled back, their lips lingering on each other's for a moment longer. As they moved on to the next person, Megan brought her fingers to her lips, still feeling tingly and slightly out of breath. Sarah was staring straight ahead, not wanting to look at Megan.

After the party, Allison drove Sarah home first, thinking it was odd that the two of them were so quiet in the car. She then drove herself and Megan home. Megan went straight to her room and Allison was worried that something might have happened at the party. Allison went into Megan's room without knocking. She found her lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, there's a door for a reason," Megan told her, annoyed.

"How'd you like the party?"

Megan sat up and brought her knees to her chest. "Not really my scene."

"Did something happen?" Allison questioned. "You and Sarah seemed quiet in the car."

Megan sighed. "Allie, please go away."

"Something did happen," Allison concluded, climbing into bed next to her. "Talk to me."

"I think I cheated on Liam," Megan told her reluctantly.

"What?" Allison asked, appalled. "On purpose? With who?"

"No, not on purpose," Megan insisted. "It's just, when you went to the bathroom with Abby, we were playing truth or dare with everyone."

"If they made you do something you didn't want to do, I'm going to kill them," Allison started.

Megan shook her head. "Sarah was dared to kiss someone and she kissed me."

"Oh," Allison said as if it were no big deal. "That's your job as a friend to make sure that she doesn't have to kiss someone that she doesn't want to kiss. Julia and I have kissed before trying to convince a boy that she wouldn't be interested in him. That doesn't count as cheating."

Megan swallowed hard. "Even if I liked it?"

Allison looked at her confused. "Can you be more specific? I mean you liked it because it was an objectively good kiss or you liked it like it felt like more than just a friend kiss."

Megan tipped her head back against the headboard. "I don't know."

Allison gave her a look telling her that she didn't quite buy her trying to write it off with an 'I don't know'.

Megan put her head in her hands and started crying. "It was better than any kiss I've ever had with Liam."

"Okay, that's okay," Allison comforted.

"No it's not!" Megan cried.

"Look, you and Sarah are really close. Of course you're going to feel something when you kiss her. It doesn't mean you want to be with her or that you're attracted to her," Allison said, now rubbing Megan's back, trying to make her feel better. "Does it?"

Megan sniffled. "What if I am?"

"Then, you are," Allison shrugged. "It wouldn't be a big deal."

"I don't know how I feel," Megan admitted. "Now that I think about it, our friendship has always seemed like more. We're closer to each other than most friends are. I care about what she thinks of me. I love when she compliments me and I always thought it was just because I trusted her opinion but I really think I just liked that she pays attention to me. We're also really physical with each other, we hold hands and cuddle. She makes me feel warm and safe. And, my lips are still tingling from that kiss."

Allison smiled. She thought it was cute the way Megan was gushing about Sarah. She had never really done that with Liam. She described him as cute, nice, and funny but never described how he made her feel.

"What do I do, Allie?" Megan asked.

"I think you sleep on it. Don't do anything yet. See how you feel tomorrow. If you still feel the same way then you need to talk to her and Liam."

"God, I don't even know how she feels," Megan sighed. "What if to her it was just a friendly kiss so she wouldn't have to kiss a stranger?"

"It's Sarah," Allison reminded her. "Just talk to her."

"But, I don't want to lose her as a friend," Megan worried.

"You aren't going to. It might be a little awkward if she doesn't feel that way but you two would find a way to stay friends. But, my guess is that she does feel that way about you. Just give it the night and see if you still feel that way in the morning."

Megan nodded. "Thanks, Allie."

Allison hugged her and said goodnight before leaving the room.

Megan pushed her breakfast around on her plate, too anxious to eat. This and her quietness did not go unnoticed.

"How was Sarah's last night, Meg?" Owen asked her.

Megan looked up from her plate, caught off guard by the question. She remembered that that's where she was supposed to be last night. "Oh, good."

"What did you guys do?" Tom followed up.

"Nothing," Megan answered, knowing it wasn't a good answer but unable to come up with anything better with all the thoughts running through her mind.

She was about to get bombarded with another question until Allison spoke up.

"You guys will never guess what Abby's boyfriend did," she said, trying to take the attention off Megan. She explained the situation to them, taking a very long time to explain all the little details, knowing that as soon as she finished her story, they would turn their attention back to Megan who clearly looked distressed. When Allison finished her story, Megan was done eating.

"Can I go get started on my homework, please," Megan asked her mom.

Teddy nodded and Megan ran off to her room.

"What was that about?" Teddy asked Allison, sensing that she knew more than she was letting on.

Allison shrugged innocently. "How would I know?"

"You didn't happen to go to the big party at Rachel's house last night, did you?" Owen asked. The kids always thought their parties were secretive but the parents knew what was going on.

Allison bit her lip and scrunched up her nose. She couldn't lie to her parents. "Maybe a little."

"Allison," Owen said warningly. It was less that she had gone to the party and more about the fact she had lied about where she was. "Please tell me you didn't bring your sweet, innocent sister to it."

Allison looked from her dad to her mom to her papa, telling them exactly what they needed to know.

"Allison," Teddy scolded. "You know that's not her scene. She seems not okay this morning."

Allison shrugged. "As her sister, it's my job to make sure she's not completely missing out on life. I will go check on her."

Allison bounced away before they could scold her anymore. She went to Megan's room and knocked softly on the door before entering.

"Hey," she said, closing the door behind her. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I feel sick," Megan told her. Allison laid with her sister just like last night.

"Why?"

"I really hate change," Megan said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "And, I feel like my whole world just exploded."

There was a knock on the door and Megan wiped her eyes just as her mom came in.

"What's going on, girls?" Teddy asked, knowing that something was wrong. Especially when she saw Allison with her arm around Megan who was obviously crying. They scooched to one side of the bed, letting Teddy get in on the other side of Megan. Megan hugged her mom and cried.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Teddy asked, stroking her hair.

Megan looked to Allison, unsure of what to say. She nodded to Allison, confirming that she wanted Allison to speak for her. Megan was never very good at expressing her feelings but knew that Allison was much better at sharing things with their mom.

"Well, Megan and Sarah kissed last night," Allison explained. "And, now Megan thinks she might want to be with her."

"Oh, okay," Teddy said. "There's nothing wrong with that, Megan."

"Of course there is," Megan cried. "I don't know if she feels that way. I don't know how to talk to her about it. I don't know what to say to Liam. He's the only person besides Sarah that I consider to be my best friend and I don't want to hurt him. I don't know if I'm gay or if I just love her because she's Sarah. I don't know if I'm just overthinking this whole thing because maybe I'm just scared to be with Liam."

Teddy exhaled, feeling the weight that Megan was holding on her shoulder right now. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

"Mommy, please just tell me what to do," Megan begged. Allison explained more of what Megan had told her last night in order to give Teddy a better picture of what was going on.

"Okay, let's start with Liam," Teddy said. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to hurt him," Megan sniffled.

"But, do you love him? Forget about what happened last night for a minute. Could you see yourself being with him forever?" Teddy asked, wanting to make sure she wasn't just going to regret it if she broke up with Liam.

Megan shook her head sadly. "He's perfect. He's everything that you and Dad said I should find. And, he's told me he loves me."

"Sometimes being perfect on paper isn't enough," Teddy told her. "Do you love him?"

"No," Megan admitted.

"Do you think you could love him?"

"Only as a friend," Megan said. "He gets me."

"Then, I think it's time to end it," Teddy reasoned. "There's no point leading him on if your heart isn't in it."

"How do I explain that to him? He didn't do anything wrong," Megan asked, feeling anxious about having to tell him.

"You just have to be honest with him," Teddy told her. "It's not going to be a nice conversation for either of you two. But, you can't just stay with him because you don't want to hurt him."

"I just can't picture not having him as a friend," Megan said.

"Well, you can see if he's willing to stay friends but don't be surprised if he doesn't want that," Teddy advised.

"And, he might not be able to right now, but maybe after he gets over the break up he might come around to being friends again," Allison suggested.

Megan nodded. She knew it would be hard but that she had to do it and the sooner she did the less pain it would cause him in the long run.

"What about Sarah?" Megan asked, wanting advice on what to do there as well.

"I told her that I think Sarah likes her too," Allison announced. "And, she's never seemed that interested in boys so it wouldn't surprise me if she were only interested in girls."

"You just have to talk to her, sweetheart," Teddy advised. "You two already talk about everything. Just bring up the kiss and see what she says."

"What if she says it didn't mean anything?" Megan asked. "Do I just let it go or do I tell her how I felt about it? What if I tell her how I feel and she doesn't feel the same way and then we can't be friends because it's too awkward? I just can't lose her."

"I know. It's hard to know what to do," Teddy sympathized, thinking of a similar time in her life.

"And, what if I tell her and she does feel the same way? What happens then? What if we break up and everyone thinks I'm interested in girls because I was with Sarah, but I'm not even sure because I don't think I've ever had feelings for another girl before? I mean, does liking her mean that I'm gay or bi or I don't know?"

"Megan, honey, you don't have to put a label on yourself," Teddy told her. "I know how hard this is for you."

"No you don't," Megan countered, feeling like her mom and sister couldn't possibly understand the millions of thoughts running through her mind.

"I do, sweetheart," Teddy insisted. "I went through the same thing."

"You did?" Allison and Megan asked simultaneously.

Teddy nodded. "The first person I ever loved was Allison."

"Allison, as in your best friend that you named me after?" Allison asked.

"Yep," Teddy agreed. "We had been best friends since we were five years old. We both had boyfriends in high school and then college. And, then she told me that she had met someone really special and that she was really happy. It was her girlfriend, Claire. At that time, people weren't generally very accepting of same-sex relationships. I definitely hadn't been expecting her to date a woman.

"And, then I felt myself becoming jealous of her and Claire. I told myself that I was just upset that they were spending more time together, leaving less time for me and Allison. But, the truth was that I was upset that I didn't realize that being with Allison romantically was something that was on the table. Allison eventually sensed that something was bothering me and I broke down and told her how I was feeling. I was terrified that our friendship was going to end because I was standing there telling my best friend that I was in love with her while her girlfriend was asleep in the next room."

Allison and Megan looked at their mom who had taken a pause, waiting for the end of the story. Megan was already feeling better, knowing that her mom had been in her shoes before.

"What did she say?" Megan probed.

"Well, what happened next was not something I'd advise you girls to do. Allison kissed me, telling me that she had wanted to hear that from me forever. But, she loved Claire too . It's something I'm really not proud of, but we started seeing each other behind Claire's back. The day she decided that she would tell Claire the truth and end it with her was on 9/11. She died before she had the chance."

"How have we not heard this story before?" Allison asked. "Why would you name me after a cheater?"

"Naming you after her - Allison may not have been perfect but she had the biggest heart. You haven't heard that before because, like I said, I'm not proud of what we did to Claire. Not many people know that Allison was more than just my best friend. "

"Does Dad?" Megan asked.

Teddy nodded.

"Does my Dad?" Allison asked.

"Um, I don't know," Teddy admitted. "I've never specifically told him but I think he knows it was more than friendship."

"I thought Uncle Owen was your best friend," Megan said. "Why wouldn't you have told him?"

Teddy shrugged. "Times were different back then. Especially in the army. So I told everyone that I joined the army because my best friend died. I never corrected myself after we left the army. Never really had a reason to. But, he knows me and I think if you asked him he would say he already knew."

"Was Allison the only woman you dated?" Megan asked.

Teddy nodded. "Yeah, and the only one I ever really had feelings for too. That's why you don't have to put a label on yourself. You can just love people for who they are."

Megan nodded. She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Liam, asking him to meet up with her once he got home.

"Are you okay?" Liam asked when he saw Megan. Her eyes looked slightly red as if she'd been crying, although she had obviously tried to hide it. Megan nodded unconvincingly. He leaned in to kiss her but she stopped him. "What's going on, Meg?"

Megan's lip quivered, trying not to cry.

"I-um-I-" Megan stuttered. Liam took her hands into his. "Liam, you know how much I care for you."

Liam let go of her hands, sensing a 'but' coming on.

"But, I don't think it's fair to you to keep dating when I'm not fully in this," Megan finally said.

Liam felt his heart break. He was silent for a moment. "What happened? I thought we were good?"

"Nothing," Megan insisted. "I just know how you feel about me and I can't give that back to you."

"Right now? Or, ever?" he asked. "Because I'm a patient guy. I don't mind waiting."

Megan bit her lip. "I'm sorry."

Liam shook his head. "I don't really know what to say. Is there someone else?"

Megan started crying.

"Wow, really?" he asked, taking her crying to mean yes. "Who is it?"

"It doesn't matter," Megan told him.

"Of course it matters," Liam said, holding back tears. "Were you with him while we were together?"

Megan shook her head.

"Please, Meg, just tell me who," Liam begged.

"It's Sarah," she whispered quietly.

Liam was surprised. He looked at Megan who was obviously struggling with her feelings. The fact that her feelings were for a girl made no difference in the pain he was feeling. But, he did feel bad that she looked so distraught.

"Does she feel the same way?"

Megan shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't want to have that conversation while we were still together."

Liam nodded. "But, what if she doesn't? We could still be together."

Megan shook her head. "You deserve better than to be a back-up plan, Liam. I wouldn't do that to you. You're one of my best friends."

Liam nodded in agreement, tears now coming from his eye which he quickly wiped away.

"I don't want to lose you," he told her.

"Me neither," Megan cried. "I really want us to be friends."

Liam laughed humorlessly and then sighed. "I need some time first."

Megan nodded in understanding. They said goodbye and Megan left, feeling terrible for hurting him but knowing it was the right thing to do.

Megan was shaking as she went to Sarah's house. She was happy it was rainy and cold, making it look like she was just shivering from going from her car to the house. They went up to Sarah's bedroom.

"Here, I'll get you something dry to wear," Sarah offered, rummaging through her drawers.

"Just a sweatshirt would be good," Megan told her. Sarah tossed one to her. Megan put it on over her clothes, taking a moment to breathe in Sarah's smell.

Sarah was nervous. She knew Megan would want to talk about the kiss. She wanted to quickly put that conversation away. Truthfully, she was glad she did it. She had wanted to kiss Megan for a long time. But, Megan was her best friend and had a boyfriend. She knew it was wrong to kiss her, knowing that her intentions behind it were more than just simply for the dare. "So, I'm sorry. For kissing you at the party. I just didn't want to kiss someone random for my first kiss. But, it obviously made you uncomfortable and I never meant for it to."

She thought she saw a look of disappointment wash over Megan's face but it was quickly covered by a smile. "It's okay. I understand."

Sarah nodded. "I hope Liam wasn't mad."

Megan shrugged. "We broke up."

"What?" Sarah asked, surprised by that news. "When? Why?"

"Last night," Megan told her. "I just felt like my feelings weren't where his were."

"You ended it with him?" Sarah asked for clarification.

Megan nodded.

"Well, are you okay?" Sarah questioned, sitting next to her.

"It was really hard," Megan admitted. "But, it was for the best."

Sarah took Megan's hands in hers. "It'll be okay."

"I know," Megan agreed.

"I don't know if you'll be able to do it," Sarah commented.

"Do what?" Megan asked, confused.

"Find a guy who is a better kisser than me," Sarah joked.

Megan froze, unsure of how to respond. Sarah had already made it clear that the kiss didn't mean anything to her. Megan laughed uncomfortably, knowing that Sarah was just trying to lighten the mood.

"Meg, are you okay? Your hands are very sweaty," Sarah told her honestly.

"Um, I'm not really sure how to say this," Megan told her, pulling her hands away from Sarah's in an attempt to protect herself from whatever response Sarah might have. She looked down at her hands. "I know you said it didn't mean anything but honestly I felt something when we kissed. Something that I never felt with Liam. That's why I broke up with him. And, I know you don't feel the same way and it's fine but I just-"

Megan's rambling was stopped by Sarah kissing her. Megan's heart fluttered as she realized what was happening. Sarah did like her. She had just lied to protect their friendship. Megan kissed her back, the kiss confirming that she still felt the same way that she had at the party. It was a passionate kiss and Megan felt like she was floating.

She pulled back for a moment, and looked into Sarah's eyes, confirming that this was really happening.

"You felt that way too?" Megan asked.

Sarah laughed, causing both of them to smile widely. "Megan, I have felt that way for a long time."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Megan asked.

"Because I realized it when you started dating Liam," Sarah explained. "And, you were happy and wanted me to like him so I sucked it up. I didn't want to lose you."

Megan smiled. "I'm sorry it took me longer to realize."

"Me too," Sarah teased. She leaned in for another kiss but Megan stopped her. "What?"

"I just think we should slow down a little," Megan told her. "The truth is that I really care about Liam and he is hurting. I don't want to hurt him more by just moving on the next day."

Sarah nodded. "I understand."

Megan and Sarah both took another spoonful of ice cream from the shared cup in between them.

"I still like the peanut butter better," Megan told her, tasting the cookie dough ice cream. She went back to the bowl on her right and took another spoonful of peanut butter ice cream. They had decided to get five different flavors from their favorite ice cream shop for a taste test.

Both Megan and Sarah had huge smiles on their faces, enjoying this quality time together. It was particularly more special now that they both knew that there were deeper feelings on both sides. It had been two months since they had announced these feelings to each other. Since then there had been no kissing, no holding hands, just pure friendship with slight flirtations mixed in. Megan had insisted that they give Liam time to heal before dating.

"I like the coffee ice cream best," Sarah announced.

"As if you need any more coffee in your life," Megan teased, taking a spoonful of the coffee ice cream. She tasted it and made a disgusted face. "Gross, tastes like coffee."

Sarah laughed. "I don't know why you thought you'd like it. You hate coffee."

"I thought it would taste more - creamy," Megan said, going back to her peanut butter ice cream to wash away the taste. "Besides, I only ordered it as one of our five because I knew you'd want it."

Sarah and Megan smiled at each other.

"Hey Megan," a voice said from behind her. She turned around to see Leo's friend Brian.

She put her arm protectively over their ice cream cups. "No! You are not stealing our ice cream."

Brian put his hands up in surrender. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"What are you doing here?" she asked him.

"Came home for my mom's birthday," he answered. "I'm picking up an ice cream cake for her."

Megan looked at Sarah who seemed to be eyeing Brian suspiciously. She knew Brian was Leo's friend but didn't know that he and Megan were close enough to be having an inside joke about stealing ice cream. She was a little concerned because Brian was very handsome and sweet and worried that Megan might be interested in him.

"I'm not sure you two have really met before," Megan said. "Sarah, this is Leo's best friend, Brian. Brian, this is my girlfriend, Sarah."

"Nice to meet you officially," Brian said.

"You too," Sarah agreed, her heart beating fast and her worries falling away at Megan calling her her girlfriend.

"Sorry for interrupting," Brian apologized to Megan. He knew that Sarah and Megan were friends but didn't realize that they were actually on a date. He said goodbye to them and left after getting his ice cream cake.

"Girlfriend?" Sarah asked.

Megan blushed. "It just kind of came out."

They grinned at each other.

"Maybe it's time," Megan thought out loud.

Sarah's grin turned to a full blown smile. "Really?"

Megan nodded. Sarah reached across the table and held Megan's hand. They finished their ice creams before leaving hand in hand. Sarah drove Megan home and parked in the driveway. They both looked at each other, knowing exactly what the other one was thinking.

They leaned in and kissed each other. It started slow, both of them figuring out what the other liked. They broke apart for air and smiled at each other before kissing again, this time more passionately. Until a knock on the passenger's side window sent them flying apart.

Megan sighed at the sight of her dad outside the window. She rolled down the window.

"What?" Megan asked.

"No kissing in my driveway," Tom said. "Let's go."

"I thought the rule was no kissing boys in the driveway," Megan reminded him.

"Well, that was when you were dating a boy," Tom told her. "The rule has been updated."

"Sorry, Tom," Sarah apologized. She squeezed Megan's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Megan said bye and got out of the car. She waved to Sarah as she pulled out of the driveway.

"Really, Dad?" Megan groaned, embarrassed that he interrupted their kiss.

He followed her into the house. "It's my job as your Dad to embarrass you. Does all that kissing mean you two are finally officially dating?"

Megan smiled. "Yeah, we are."

Megan bounced away to her room and Tom sat back down next to Teddy on the couch.

"I love seeing her smile like that," Tom told Teddy.

"Me too," Teddy agreed.