Chapter 21

Ben groaned at the sound of voices outside the door, not quite awake, but not quite asleep either. He reflexively tightened his arm around Rey's waist.

"Ben."

Rey's whisper hardly registered as he nosed through her hair, humming in contentment.

Rey's shoulders shook underneath him.

"Ben," she said, laughter making her voice shake. "I can't breathe. You're crushing me."

Ben jerked, her words finally penetrating his sleep-addled mind. He relaxed his grip and she turned around to face him.

Speaking into her hand, she said, "I think someone's here."

He kissed her forehead, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest.

"So?" His throat suddenly felt thick as the previous day's events came rushing back at him. "We didn't get to sleep until late."

Before Rey could respond, someone knocked on her bedroom door. Rey pulled away and sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"Come in."

The door cracked open and Rose stuck her head in. Surprisingly, she looked at him instead of Rey. "Your mother and uncle are here."

He stiffened in shock. His heart started thudding hard in his chest as his mind started to race.

Why had they come? Did his mother want to talk about what he had done? She had sent the lawyer, but that didn't mean she wasn't angry at him for getting into this situation again. Rey said she was livid at what Snoke had done, but that didn't excuse the things Ben had done in the past.

He also still wasn't entirely certain he ready to forgive either her or Luke for lying to him for so many years, for purposely trying to drive him away from his passion.

When Rey reached out to brush the hair off his forehead, he realized he hadn't responded. He looked at Rey, unsure what to say.

Rey turned to Rose. "Tell them we'll be right out."

Rose nodded and closed the door.

Rey turned back to him. He frowned, nerves making his stomach feel like birds had taken residence inside rather than butterflies.

She brushed her fingers through his hair. "You have to face them sometime."

He tried to smile, but only managed a lip twitch. "Do I?"

"They want to help you."

He swallowed, his throat feeling like sandpaper.

Rey cupped his cheek. "Please hear them out?"

He looked at her, at the hope in her eyes. For some reason, she needed him to reconcile with his family.

He supposed not having a family meant she envisioned a storybook ending, where all is forgiven and they get to spend holidays gathered around a fire and singing.

He realized that he wanted to give her that. He wanted to give her anything and everything. If he could wave a wand and banish the threat of jailtime, he would. In fact, if he had a magic wand, he'd wave away the past three years. He never wanted to see Rey crushed like that again. Only now that she was more like the woman he had left behind—vibrant and happy—did he realize just how crushed she had been. If it didn't hurt so much to know he had been the cause, he might have been tempted to revel in the knowledge that losing him had meant as much to her as losing her had to him.

"Ok," he said.

Her shoulders visibly relaxed. She stood, grasping his hand and pulling him up. He pulled her into a hug.

"Morning, by the way," he said into her hair.

She chuckled, hugging him tight in return. "Good morning."

He smelled her hair, yesterday's shampoo scent hardly noticeable. He loved smelling her hair. He couldn't really put a finger on the reason, except that it was Rey and he loved everything about her. He had also read once that pheromones were given off through the head, so maybe that was it.

"Ben?"

"Hmm?"

Rey pulled away. "Your family is waiting."

He sighed. "Fine."

He dropped his arms. Best to go get this meeting over with.

He pulled a shirt on. It was awkward enough walking out of Rey's bedroom in his pajamas. Best not to walk out in only his boxers.

Rey clasped his hand, pulling him the two steps to the door.

They stepped out into the tiny hallway and found his mother and uncle sitting at the small table just off the kitchen. He tried to hide his surprise as his mother stood.

She had aged.

Surely, she hadn't looked that old when he had left. Her hair was almost entirely gray, there more lines on her face, and bags under her eyes. Technically she was still as well put together as always, but she looked haggard.

His glanced at Luke, noting the same was true of his uncle. His hair was gray and much longer than he remembered it. His beard could use trimming, and he looked like he hadn't slept.

"Ben."

His eyes snapped back to his mother's unusually soft voice. Her fingers twitched on the table, as if itching to run to him.

He swallowed, his mouth now feeling stuffed with cotton.

"Hello."

As if she could stand it no longer, his mother exhaled, striding around the table. He puffed in shocked when she wrapped her arms around him, her head under his chin.

"My beautiful boy, I'm so sorry."

Ben looked at Rey, who appeared just as shocked as he was by his usually stoic mother's greeting. He couldn't even hug her back because she had his arms pinned to his sides.

"Leia, let the boy breathe or you'll risk killing him before you have the chance to apologize."

Ben looked over to his uncle. Luke nodded at him, his expression solemn. Leia pulled away and Ben was astounded to see her wiping her eyes.

"Of course, I'm so sorry."

She inhaled deeply, seeming to center herself before she walked back to her chair.

Ben and Rey followed her to the round table, taking the two remaining chairs. He grasped Rey's hand under the table, needing her presence to steady himself.

Ben looked between them both, unsure how to start talking. He wanted to apologize for leaving without word, for losing his temper, but he just didn't know where to begin.

"Ben, I'm so sorry."

He turned to his mother as she spoke. She was the most contrite he had ever seen her, sitting with her hands in her lap rather than clasped on the table as she usually did. His mother was a strong woman and expert negotiator. She always sat with her hands on the table and an intelligent glint in her eye.

The only thing he saw in her eye now was remorse.

She spoke again before he had a chance to process her second apology.

"I pushed you away. This is my fault. I was never there for you and then I pushed you away because I was so afraid you would hurt me."

His mouth popped open as he felt a pain through his heart. He had done exactly that. He had hurt her.

She hurried on. "I don't blame you for leaving. I should have warned you properly about Snoke. I didn't know you were meeting him because I was never in your life enough, and when I was, I was too focused on how much you were like my father. I never –" Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat. "I never stopped to see how much like Han you are."

Ben blinked. He had never been compared to his father before. He wondered where Han was, whether he was angry at Ben or hurt or perhaps indifferent.

"He wanted to be here," Leia continued, seeming to see the question in his face. "I…I thought it would be better for Luke and I to meet with you first, but we would love it if you and Rey came to lunch at home. Han hasn't been the same since you left."

"How am I like dad?"

It wasn't the question Ben expected to ask first, but he had once upon a time admired his father, had wanted to be like him.

Luke snorted. "Are you kidding? You may have gotten the Skywalker temper and talent, but that side of you that softens those rough edges? That's all Han. Not to mention, Han always got the girl."

Ben's mouth fell open once more as Luke winked at Rey. She squeezed his hand underneath the table.

"I –" Ben still wasn't sure what to say.

"You don't have to forgive me," Leia said. "Not yet, or ever. I just wanted you to know that I love you so much, and I'm sorry for driving you away. These past three years have been the worst of my life."

Ben's throat grew thick, his eyes beginning to sting. "I forgive you, Mom."

The moment he spoke those words, he knew they were true. Perhaps there was still trust to be regained, but he had never seen his mother admit blame so openly, without a "but" after her apology. Not to mention knowing that he might not forgive her and acknowledging it was ok. He had waited his whole life to have his mother tell him she loved him so openly, without expecting him to return the sentiment.

He grew alarmed when her eyes filled and she clasped a hand over her mouth.

She closed her eyes as a tear slipped through, her shoulders shaking. Luke patted her on the shoulder as Ben stared open-mouthed, shame washing over him as his mother completely broke.

Rey leaned over, speaking low in his ear. "Go hug your mother."

He nodded, still stunned, and walked around the table. Leia stood, wrapping her arms around him again and sobbing into his shirt.

Feeling awkward, he wrapped his arms around her, his own eyes filling with tears.

"I'm so sorry."

He cleared his throat. "Mom, it's ok. I forgive you. And…I'm sorry too."

She squeezed her arms, hugging him tighter.

"I shouldn't have left without a word. I should have called you when things started going bad, when Snoke—when I realized what he really was."

Leia shook her head, speaking into his chest. "I don't blame you for not calling, after the way Luke and I behaved, the way we betrayed your trust, manipulated you. How could you be expected to think we would help you?"

He pulled away, still stunned by his mother's open and raw emotions, her red eyes and tear-stained face.

"Forgive each other?" he asked.

She nodded sniffing. "Of course."

Ben felt his chest expand as he hugged his mother again. A weight he hadn't even realized he had been carrying lifted off him. He had been so focused the past three years over the weight of losing Rey that he had never fully realized how much the loss of his family—even if it was his fault—had affected him.

After several moments, they pulled apart, Leia patting his cheek before sitting back in her chair.

Ben walked back around the table and sat. He opened his mouth to say something to his uncle—though he wasn't exactly sure what—but before he could, Luke spoke first.

"I was never going to go through with the expulsion."

Ben recoiled in shock, blinking rapidly. Whatever he had expected Luke to say, it wasn't that.

He looked down. "I would have deserved it."

"No."

The word was sharp. Ben looked up to see his uncle frowning.

"I had spent your entire education berating you, baiting you, being nasty to you, all while trying to steer you away from your passion. Your mother isn't the only one who was guided by fear of how much like Anakin you are. But what both of us forgot was what a fantastic musician Anakin was. He was a visionary and so are you."

Ben blinked, completely stunned. Luke leaned forward, speaking fervently.

"Ben, I have followed your career these past three years. I've listened to every song, and you are a master musician." Luke huffed a laugh, sitting back. "Certainly better than a half-rate teacher at Juilliard."

"Hey," Rey said in mock sternness. "You certainly were a wonderful teacher to me."

Luke smirked. "Yes, I was, wasn't I?" He turned back to Ben. "And I should have been to you as well. I'm very sorry, and I hope you'll forgive me, though I would ask you to spare me the sappy hug you gave your mother."

Ben snorted, the corners of his mouth twitching up. Another weight lifted off his shoulders, leaving him feeling lighter than he had any right to feel, given the uncertainty over what the police would do with him.

"I don't want to hug you anyway," Ben said, smirking. "But I do want to forgive you."

Luke nodded. "Thank you."

They sat is silence, Rey grabbing and squeezing Ben's hand again.

Leia broke the silence after a few moments. "We both need to get going." She stood, looking between him and Rey. "Can I expect you both at the house for lunch?"

Ben glanced at Rey and then nodded. "Yes. We'll be there."

Leia came around the table again, hugging him for the third time, doubling the number of times she had hugged him to date. Patting his cheek, she turned to the door.

Luke stuck his hand out. Ben shook it, nodding at Luke.

"See ya around, kid." He winked at Rey and then followed Leia out the door.

Ben stared at the closed door, stunned by the turn the morning had taken and trying to process it.

He heard Rey moving around as he sat at the table, staring at the door. He jumped when she touched his shoulder and set an omelet down in front of him.

She had just sat down when he blurted, "Move in with me."

Rey's eyes fluttered in surprise.

Ben turned more fully to her.

"I know this is incredibly soon since we've only been together for less than two days, but we were together for much longer than that before and I wanted to move in with you then. These three years apart have only taught me that I'm never going to love anyone the way that I love you."

Rey opened her mouth but he continued before she could.

"And I know you don't have much money, and working for the New York Philharmonic won't give you an extravagant pay, but I don't care. I'll live in a crappy studio apartment if you insist on splitting the cost of rent. I just know that I want to wake up next to you every day in a bed bigger than a twin. I want to eat omelets every morning. I want to watch crappy rom coms on the couch and fall asleep with you in my arms."

He reached out to cup either side of her cheeks, his thumb stroking her lip.

"I don't want to ever leave you again." He licked his lips. "I know that I may not have a choice, but even if I do get pinned for manslaughter, I never want to leave. I need you to know that. If I could stitch myself to your hip I would do it."

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her lips. She reached up, placing her hands over his. He pulled away, suddenly very aware that he still hadn't brushed his teeth.

Rey bit her lip, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Yes."

His heart stopped. "Yes?"

She smiled, nodding. "Yes. I'll live with you."

She pulled his hands away from her face, clasping them tightly in her lap. She looked between his eyes, hers filling with tears, her smile letting him know they were happy tears.

"I never want to be away from you again, either."

A/N: This might be a record for updating where I didn't already have a chapter pre-written. Anyway, there is only the epilogue remaining now! :O