AN: I am sorry, it seems to have been uploaded wrong. I am kind of rusty with the whole uploading process. As some of you might know ;)
The next few days we mostly spent in silence. Harry was still convinced of Draco's involvement and I was heartbroken. Everyone else was walking on eggshells around us, always afraid of triggering an outburst from Harry or me.
After I had come back to the common room, we talked again. Harry had cooled off and returned just before me. We decided to see what was going to happen next, see if Draco would act any more suspicious. And of course he did. We all observed him at all times. He kept quiet in class, even in Snape's class. He did not eat in the Great Hall and he looked like he had not slept since Hogsmeade. I knew the guilt was eating him up inside. And I knew he was suffering the same heartbreak that I was feeling. All I wanted to do was comfort him because he looked so sick. But every time I saw him all I could think about was Katie laying completely still in the snow. And I just wanted to hurl.
I felt so torn. The guilt about ever having started anything with Draco bubbling up until I almost came clean to Harry. But he would hate me forever. Like I hated myself. But was it really that wrong? Didn't I deserve to find someone I lo-liked?
So we all just dwelled on our thoughts until thursday. I was sitting in the stands on the Quidditch pitch, warmed by small blue flames all around me, doing my homework for transfiguration but actually just thinking about the christmas party. All I wanted was for christmas to be over. For the school year to be over. The war to be over. My wish for a normal life grew with every day and left me panicking. I was so scared of the future. So fed up with being helpless. "Please feel free to bring an escort." I still did not know who to ask for the party. I only had two more days to find someone. Maybe I could ask Neville? But I knew how little he liked these events. He tended to get really awkward and felt like he did not belong. Well, I would just have to find someone tomorrow. The team was just leaving the pitch to take a shower when I noticed a dark figure not too far from where I was sitting.
I had not realised I was alone on the stands and how dark it had gotten. I slowly pulled out my wand.
"Who is there?"
The person stepped into the light of my blue flames and I could see a face that was just too familiar. Only a little thinner and sadder.
"Please." His voice was just a whisper. Barely audible.
"Get away from me." I pointed my wand at him. "Don't come near me!"
He slumped down. I could see how hurt he was. His eyes looked almost dead and were red. Had he been crying? My heart broke for him a little. But I had to stay strong! He was chose his side a long time ago. I needed this to be over.
"Please. Let me explain." "No." I got up, picked up my bag and turned away from him. "This is over. Leave me alone."
And with that I wanted to leave, but his hand shot out and grabbed my arm.
"Please, Hermione."
I whirled around and glared at him.
"You have lost every right to call me by my name! You have lost every right to ever talk to me again! We are done!"
A tear slipped down his cheek. When had he started to cry?
"I…" "See, there is nothing you could say to change anything! I would have done a lot for you! I lied for you and you shut me out and betrayed me! So, let go of me and leave me the hell alone!"
He let go of my arm. He looked completely lost. But the anger about his actions was just too big.
I turned around again and left. Every step hurt even more.
I waited in front of the locker rooms until Harry and Ron came out. We quietly made our way up to the castle.
"I think you are right, Harry." I mumbled. We had just gotten to the entrance to the castle. Harry and Ron stopped and just looked at me speechless.
"I just mean… We have all seen it. Malfoy is acting really strange. It just seems…"
Harry nodded enthusiastically while Ron seemed unconvinced still.
"But… We don't know for sure."
"Of course we don't!" I snarled at him. "But it sure seems that way."
"Does it change anything? I have observed him these past days, in person and on the map. We can't prove anything and we can't do anything."
Harry was right of course, but I still couldn't fight the feeling of disappointment that he wasn't happier that I agreed with him.
"Change of topic: Who are you going to bring to Sluggies party?" Ron. Curious as ever.
"I won't tell you yet."
"So, you haven't found anyone?" "How often do I have to remind you of the Yule Ball? Don't worry about me not finding a date. You will find out who he is soon enough."
The rest of the walk was spent in silence again.
At Dinner I was desperate. I had not found a date. Or anyone I would have liked to go to the party with. I gobbled down my mashed potatoes and excused myself early to go sulk in the library. Or how I liked to described it: study in the library.
On my way to the second floor I stumbled across Cormac McLaggen who was on his way to Dinner.
Well, better than going alone. Probably.
"Hey, Cormac!" He slowly approached me, obviously unsure what I wanted from him.
"Would you like to accompany me to Slughorns Party tomorrow?"
He looked taken aback for a second before smoothly answering with a "I would love to. Meet you at 7 in the common room?" I nodded and continued to the library. Unsure if I had just made a terrible mistake.
Saturday was spent with homework and getting ready. Ginny did my make up and hair and the whole time she pestered me about my relationship with Cormac.
"Has he been the reason you were so happy these past weeks?"
"No."
"Have you kissed yet?"
"No."
"What will he be wearing tonight? I hope you coordinated colours?"
"I don't know. We didn't."
"How long have you been dating?"
"We are not."
After 3 hours of Ginnys Questions I was almost happy to meet Cormac who was waiting in the common room in crimson robes. Great, we did not clash, as I was wearing a golden Slip-On dress and black Jacket.
How very Gryffindor of us.
Harry seemed to be very surprised by my choice of company but didn't say anything. So our way to Slughorns office was filled with irrelevant chatter.
The office had been greatly enlarged and decorated beautifully. It was like the movies I love to watch with my mum around christmas. Like a fairytale. And I was here with Cormac McLaggen. Great. Harry seemed to be occupied with his plan so for the first hour of the party I had Ginny as my buffer. But after she spotted friends form her year she was gone and left me alone with Cormac.
"So, Hermione. Would you like to dance?"
"Oh. Well..-" But he did not let me speak but instead grabbed my arm and gently dragged me to the dancefloor. I was not in the mood to dance. I was not even in the mood to be here.
"You know, my parents give a christmas ball every year. And an End of Summer ball every August. So I have always danced a lot. That's why I am so good at this. There is no shame in not being a good dancer. It's all in the hand of the leader. I will lead you, so don't worry about looking ridiculous."
"Oh. Thanks."
He would not let me leave the dance floor for another 20 minutes. Though I did try to excuse myself after every song.
Finally he seemed to get thirsty and I offered to get us drinks at the bar. Gentleman that he is he gave me his order and sent me on my way. Not that I was complaining. Glad about every chance to get away from him I took the longest route to the bar. Unfortunately I had to return to Cormac just a few minutes later. I gave him his drink and gulped down mine. No alcohol of course, I noticed sadly.
After a short while I felt Cormacs expectant gaze on me. I looked at him quizzingly and he pointed at the ceiling above us. And of course there was a mistletoe above us. Cormac grinned and came closer. I panicked. "I'm sorry. I need to…go to the toilet." And I tried to leave. But apparently the mistletoe had been charmed to not let anyone leave without a kiss. I sighed. Slughorn.
I stepped on my toes and gave Cormac a quick kiss on the cheek before storming off in the direction of the exit.
I have had enough of this evening.
But before I could make it out, the doors swung open and none other than Draco stood before me.