Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider. If you actually read these, is it worth the wait? I am not Anthony Horowitz.

Chapter 22: Trust?

Jacobs had stopped Nico from immediately going after Alex when he had stormed into his bedroom that morning – after all, they had laid down the rules pretty clearly. The only time Alex was allowed in his bedroom was in the evening. And Nico wondered if they could really trust him for that. It was like the entire mission objective had just taken a complete turn. Instead of keeping Alex safe from the outside world, now they were keeping Alex confined.

It had been going so well…

Jacobs had given him a terse explanation that someone from MI6 had called specifically for Alex and something they had said set him off. What though… no one was quite sure. With that knowledge, they had left Alex be until lunch – with close monitoring of the sensors in his room. They weren't about to have a repeat with him just up and disappearing. It was back to business as usual for the afternoon and evening though, with Alex's movements mainly restricted to the sofa.

It was unfortunate that this was what it had come to, but… Alex had shown that he couldn't be trusted. Just like the files had warned.

It wasn't until later in the evening, after Alex had been allowed to return to his room, that they were actually able to get any sort of update on what had occurred with the phone.

"Who the hell called and caused that blowup this morning?" Cameron demanded.

"I'm not entirely sure," Jacobs said, looking pensive. "One moment I was taking down the coordinates for the next drop, and then there's a woman demanding to speak to Alex. She used the security code from our last briefing."

Nico frowned. Only those higher up were supposed to have access to the codes. "And it just riled him up?"

"He was angry the moment he heard the voice on the other end. And he knew who it was."

"He did?"

"Someone by the name of Jones. And he seemed to have quite a hefty history with the person, judging by the way he was all but yelling at her."

"Anything useful?" Cameron asked.

Jacobs shrugged. "Only that he apparently blames them – this Jones lady and someone else – for the way his life is right now. And that someone recently died. And…" His lips pressed into a thin line, before he shook his head. "Alex seems to think that one of his previous MI6 appointed guardians tried to kill him."

Nico clenched his jaw. Of course. They had all been well aware that Alex had gone through numerous guardians in a short span of time, after coming off a guardianship arrangement for several months. But Alex was stubborn and hot-headed, it was little wonder that he clashed with whoever had been put in charge. And it was clear the he was loath to trust anyone– that had been made clear in the past several weeks. Hell, in the past several days.

Alex had probably only been pulled from the guardianship arrangement because they – someone high up in MI6 – had decided that he was no longer able to take care of himself. A wise assessment with the state of his hand. But now that he was getting better, seeing progress, he was chafing under the restraints.

"It just… it doesn't add up." Cameron started pacing the kitchen. "Why does this kid get a guardianship arrangement in the first place, when it sounds like he was being targeted before the kidnapping even happened? MI6 deals with international threats – obviously why we're here, instead of domestic. What happened during that captivity, aside from his injuries, made them decide he was in considerably more danger?"

There were obviously wide swaths of information that were just… missing. They had holes in the story they knew. And it seemed that Alex might have holes in the story that he knew. Nico had no idea and was afraid to start speculating. It was looking more and more likely that they had been given the assignment as a stop-gap measure. To try to keep Alex safe from an enemy that they didn't know.

"He did yell something about being better off on his own…" Jacobs shook his head slowly. "I just don't get it. If he's so stubborn, why are they forcing him? I mean… I don't want him to get hurt, but I feel like that's what he's driving himself toward. He's going to get out one of these days, and there's not going to be anything that we can do – because he's apparently as good as Houdini at escaping."

Jacobs was right. At this point, there wasn't much they could do aside from tightening down the restrictions. Give him less and less opportunity for time alone, less and less opportunity to make an escape. But it wasn't as simple as that, and they all knew it.

The sound of something hard hitting the walls had them all jumping to their feet and rushing toward Alex's room. Nico hesitated, flinching back from the door when something solid hit it as well. Something had made Alex angry, like nothing else before.

But now…? Nearly a whole day later…?

Mickey came out from the observation room and shook his head slightly. "Sensors are still intact," he murmured.

One final thud from the wall furthest from the door rang out, and then silence. The four of them waited for a heartbeat longer, but there were no more sounds from the room. It couldn't have been more than a minute.

Cameron nodded the group of them back down the stairs, apparently deciding that engaging Alex at this point would be unlikely to be productive.

Probably a wise choice…

Back downstairs, Cameron turned to them. "Similar to his first blowup. Nico, check on him in a couple hours, before your turn on shift. Jacobs, go help Mickey with the monitors. We don't want anything… strange happening."

Nico glanced up at the ceiling, the room above eerily silent. It was similar to when Alex had thrown the mug, but… different.

It wasn't a good sign.

It was close to midnight before Nico even attempted to check up on Alex. Mickey and Jacobs had assured him that nothing had been triggered or even nudged. The place was as quiet as a crypt.

He had, of course, knocked hesitantly before entering Alex's room. There had been no response – as he would hope at such a late hour of the night. As much as Alex seemed to pretend that he didn't need to sleep there were quite visible differences in his personality between when he did and didn't.

The room lights were still on full blast and Nico entered hesitantly. If Alex was up, or still in a mood, he didn't want to inadvertently make it worse. The door caught on a book that had likely been the culprit of the bang on the door. Nico picked up the book, still staying wary, and placed it on the desk, along with several other items that had obviously been thrown around. Even the laptop – which Nico could have sworn Alex would protect with his life – had been knocked around and was sitting precariously on the edge of the desk. It was a miracle it hadn't fallen.

The most notable, out of place, thing in the room were the shards of mirror that had been both embedded into the wall and the floor. The cause of the loud crash. The shards caught the light, but that seemed to be the only sharp casualty.

On first glance, it seemed that Alex had defied their expectations and gotten out, because there was no sign of him either in front of the desk – obviously – or on the bed. Nico took several more steps into the room, not wanting to spook him, just in case… After all, before the entire fiasco of his little jaunt, Alex had made it clear that his room was his realm and entrance was by permission only.

Then Nico caught sight of him. Like a… child that had been sent to a room for a time out, Alex was huddled up against the wall beside his bed, pushed back into the corer. As small and insignificant as possible.

A nightmare?

It had been early, but not altogether outside of the realm of possibility. But usually, the nightmares didn't result in destruction of property.

Alex had apparently fallen asleep in that position – despite whatever had set him off. He had obviously been agitated before falling asleep because he had clearly been tugging and yanking on his hair – a sign Nico had come to recognize as Alex's anxiety response – because one fist was still clenched tightly in the strands.

After observing that there had been no injuries or the like, Nico cautiously backed out of the room. There wasn't much more he could do, and waking Alex certainly wasn't the answer. He headed downstairs to give Cameron his report before taking over the monitors, but he wasn't sure what he was going to say.

It was a long and – thankfully – uneventful night. Alex had stirred at some point in the early morning, but aside from that, nothing happened. Nico was, of course, curious about what exactly had happened the evening before, but knew better than to expect any kind of explanation from Alex. They would be lucky if he was in a decent mood for the morning.

If they got five words out of him in a day it was considered good.

Nico was looking forward to his turn on rest, all of them having been on high alert since Alex had taken off. He was running on only a few hours of sleep and there was another outing scheduled for the next day. Despite everything Nico was still trying to figure out how to successfully avoid seeing the psychologist again. It wasn't a good match, and… Alex deserved better than that.

He did have to admit, however, that Alex's little walk had seemed to reenergize him. Although he could still be found napping on the sofa, there was no longer a sense of deadness around him. He was alert and engaged – even though he tried to make it seem like he wasn't. Even the day before – phone call notwithstanding – Alex had been clearly engaged and… plotting.

Nico guessed that their easy days were over… but felt somewhat heartened that the teen he had glimpsed at the beginning of their captivity was starting to make a return.

He second guessed his thoughts the moment Alex slunk into the kitchen that morning. He looked tired again, lost in his own thoughts. The spark was still there, but it was much… dimmer…

Alex mechanically went through getting a bowl of cereal, not really seeming to register Nico at the table. Nico kept a wary eye on him, but he seemed content to just sit and eat the food. When he finished though, he didn't immediately get up – like he had on any other day. Instead, he stopped and stared at Nico.

Although nothing had been said, a long silence stretched out between them. And if Nico had learned anything about Alex, it was that sometimes he just needed to be out waited.

"Zebra," Alex said, eyes keen. "You're Zebra."

Nico blinked. Where had Alex heard that? Though their codenames weren't exactly top secret within the house – none of them had used them in well over a month. Even the briefings – which Alex had definitely swiped more than once – had used their real names.

"Zeb."

Oh.

Nico cleared his throat. "Yes, I am. Though, how…?"

Alex waved it away, a small smile spreading across his face. The first real smile Nico had seen from him. "They really had no idea who you were, did they?"

So, it seemed that the elephant in the room was finally going to be addressed. "No… I was… a random pick, as far as we can tell." He shifted uncomfortably. This wasn't exactly the topic he wanted to cover when he was exhausted, but…

Alex cocked his head. "So why lie?"

Why, Zeb? "Standard protocol requires that if you are taken captive the only information you can give up is codename and ID number. Anything beyond that…" He shrugged, glancing down at his hands in guilt. "I was hoping that the element of surprise might show itself at some point and I could use it to my advantage. But… that obviously didn't happen." He smiled ruefully.

Alex stared at him intently, seeming to process the information. "Why… why didn't you ever say anything?"

That… that was something that he was still grappling with. A conflict between his own training and his own morals, as his therapist had once put it. "You were… They were obviously targeting you, using some sort of leverage against you, but had no idea who I was. I was… worried that if I said something too far out of the norm… they might make things worse." Though how much worse they could have gotten… Nico wasn't entirely sure. He supposed they could have killed him…

Alex nodded slowly, gaze off in the distance – but for once, he didn't seem agitated. "You were trying to help, then?"

"Of course!" To imply otherwise… "I mean… I had pretty much lost hope by the last day, but…" He tilted his head, staring at Alex. "Surely you realize that I was trying to keep you alive for much of that last week?"

There was a long pause and Nico wondered if he had crossed some line.

Alex took a deep breath, like he was trying to settle himself. "I don't remember." His gaze locked onto Nico. "I don't remember any of it. All I know is… you were there. But everything else…" He shook his head, like he was trying to rattle the memories into place. "It's just a messed-up jumble. And I know I remember sometimes, but then it's just… gone."

Nico's breath caught in his throat. He had suspected, but to have it confirmed… He couldn't imagine what it was like for Alex. If he didn't truly know what had happened.

"It'll come in a nightmare and be gone in the morning."

They hadn't trained for dealing with memory loss. Though some may think that not remembering what happened was better… it was likely the threat of the unknown was even worse than reality.

"I just… I know that something's stopping me." Alex took another deep breath and let his shoulders relax. "It's all up there." He tapped his forehead. "I just can't… get to it right now."

Nico wasn't sure what to say to that. He wasn't sure what Alex expected from him. To bare all the secrets about their captivity? To share what he knew? Or was he not fishing for answers?

Alex stood up from the chair, put his bowl in the sink, and turned to leave the room. "It's nice to know though…"

"Nice to know what?"

"I think you can be trusted." And with that, Alex walked out of the room, leaving Nico with more questions that he started with.

If he didn't know better, he would have suspected that Alex was high on something – more mellow and relaxed than he had ever been. But… there were some very key pieces of information that Alex let go, freely. Firstly, that he didn't remember – whether that was amnesia or some other such thing, who knew – and secondly, that he hasn't trusted Nico because of the conflict of names and the unknowns of what he did and didn't remember.

Now though… he trusted Nico?

There was certainly no telling what would come from that…

A/N: Apologies for not updating in such a long time. Life has been... hectic and a bit of a struggle if I'm honest. I'm going to try my best to keep going. Your responses help keep me motivated. Stay safe everyone.