I do not own Mass Effect or any of the characters.
Wild Ride
David squeezed Jack lightly as she glowed with biotic energy, using it to kill off the sperm, apparently. He tried not to feel too disappointed that there was no chance of her getting pregnant. He may want a family someday, but now was definitely not the right time, and if she did get pregnant, there was a solid chance that Jack would panic and run away. He was just glad whatever link his biotics had created had faded a few rounds ago so she couldn't sense his confliction over the matter.
Jack sighed, the biotic energy fading as she snuggled into him, smiling. "So, that takes care of the bed, the pool, the hot tub, the shower, and that wall over there."
"And the dining room table," David added, smirking. "And the kitchen counter."
Jack smiled. "That's true. You know, I don't think I've ever actually had this much sex in only two days. I'm going to miss this place."
"I'm sure you'll manage," David smirked. "We'll have to see if the floor of our area of the Normandy's as comfortable as I remember it."
"After this bed, I doubt it," Jack snorted. "But I'm definitely down to try it out."
David laughed, trailing a hand up and down her back. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Jack smiled. "How much longer do you think we have?"
Just then, David's omni-tool began to beep and he sighed, sitting up and pulling on his underwear before answering.
"Head to the docking bay," Shepard said. "The upgrades are finished."
"We'll be right there," David said.
Shepard nodded and hung up. David sighed, looking back at Jack, who was propping her head up on one arm, watching him amusedly.
"Sounds like time's up," Jack said.
David smirked, kissing her and rolling her onto her back and slipping his hands into hers. "They can wait a few minutes, as long as we make it quick."
Jack grinned, rolling them and quickly slipping his underwear back off, instantly taking him into her tunnel. "In that case, I'll take over this time."
David smiled knowingly, and Jack kissed him one more time before beginning.
David twisted the wires on the medical scanner together before putting the new focusing lense in and putting the face plate back on, scanning the newly modified scanner with his omni-tool. According to his scans, it would work according to what he had planned, but it would be incredibly painful without Chakwas there to administer the proper amount of anesthetics, and it would also leave someone unable to move very well for about two hours. They had about that long before reaching the Omega Four relay, so if he was going to do it, it had to be now. Jack gave him a worried look.
"I'll be alright," David smiled. "I'll just need you to carry me back to our hole."
Jack smiled, shaking her head. "You're crazy, you know that?"
"That must be why you love me," David smiled.
Jack sighed, kissing him before closing the medical bay's shutters and having EDI lock the door. She turned to David as he dropped the last of his clothes and lay on the medical table, typing on his omni-tool. "Let me know if I need to stop it."
David nodded as a white light shone from the scanner, hitting the table the scanner slowly creeping up its rail along the table. The second the light hit his skin, there was a loud hissing as the light intensified anywhere it hit him, leaving his skin an angry red like he had a sunburn. He grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes closed and struggling to ignore the horrible, agonizing burn as the light creeped up his legs, feeling like he was slowly being lowered into boiling water. He dreaded what would happen when the light reached his genitals, but a moment later he found out. It was awful. He knew laser muscular reconstructive modifications without anesthetics would be bad, but he wasn't ready for this. As the laser reached his genitals, the pain went from awful to unbearable. Jack, having agreed to hold him down for that section ahead of time, used her biotics to restrain him, covering his mouth so no one thought they needed to help. Finally, it reached his waist and she slowly released her grip on him, wiping her eyes and gently stroking his hair to try and calm him.
"The face is going to hurt too," Jack said.
"It'll be fine," David said through gritted teeth.
Finally, the laser began to near his neck and Jack pulled her hands back, once again holding him down. Then, after an agonizing thirty seconds of him barely keeping himself from screaming, the laser finally separated from his scalp, not affecting his hair at all, and shut off. Jack quickly helped him up and back into his clothes before injecting a small dose of pain meds into him, then lifted him and carried him to the elevator, then from that to their area of Engineering. She set him on the bench gently, then sat beside him, holding him as gently as she could.
"Was that really worth it?" Jack asked.
"I fucking hope so," David groaned. "That hurt so bad!"
"No shit," Jack said. "Of course it did. you were deconstructing and then reconstructing your muscles and skin with a laser. What did you expect it to feel like?"
"Not that bad," David said.
Jack sighed heavily. "You'd better be able to fuck for days on end after that or else that will forever be the second dumbest thing you've ever done behind falling for me."
David laughed, then groaned. "Falling for you wasn't dumb. It just proves that I can see how beautiful you are, even if no one else can."
Jack blushed, fighting a smile, and gently squeezed him slightly. "How'd you get permission to do that, anyway?"
"I didn't," David said. "I'll fix it later."
Jack shook her head. "You really are crazy. Go to sleep, David. You need to be fully recovered when we get there, or else you won't be much use, even with your new upgrades."
David nodded, reaching up and kissing her for a moment before settling against her again, passing out in seconds.
David woke with a start as he felt the ship lurch violently. He looked around wildly, finding Jack leaning on a railing beside him, both now up on the main level of Engineering. He groaned, slowly pushing himself up, only to stumble as the ship lurched again. Jack caught him, David feeling a flash of burning pain from his muscles, but it was tolerable. She helped him stand and pulled him against the railing with her, the window in front of them overlooking the cargo bay where Shepard, Tali, and the Geth they had recovered from the derelict Reaper, Legion, were fighting a floating ball of metal with a red eye on the front that fired a massive red laser for a few seconds at a time.
"What is that?" David asked.
"No idea," Jack said. "But the shaking-" she paused as the ship lurched violently, knocking Tali off balance, only for Legion to tackle her out of the way of the machine's laser. "-is Joker trying to shake four more."
David groaned. "I hate ship battles."
Jack nodded. "How do you feel?"
"Like shit," David said. "But I should be alright. Legion's turning out to be pretty handy, huh?"
"You should see him fighting something our size instead of a robot," Jack said as they watched Legion running around the cargo bay and drawing the machine's attention for Shepard and Tali. "While you were avoiding Collectors on the ship, we were fighting Geth Heretics, which is apparently a rogue Geth, and then Legion gave them all a virus to rewrite them all into more or less being brainwashed into rejoining the normal Geth."
"Sounds like a big risk," David said. "Hope it works out."
Just then, the ship lurched, and the inertial dampeners shut off as EDI transferred all power to the barriers. As the dampeners shut off, Joker pulled up and Jack and David clung to the railing as the force of the turn tried to throw them backward. Finally, the ship levelled out, and David sighed, releasing the railing as the machine Shepard and the others were fighting finally exploded.
"That wasn't so bad," Jack said.
"I'm sure it was worse than we realized," David said. "Come on. Let's head upstairs."
Jack nodded and they headed up to the armory, David quickly getting into his armor and grabbing his weapons before they headed to the cockpit just as the Collector Ship began to fly over to meet them. It opened fire at them as soon as they were facing them, but at a distance, Joker was able to avoid the beam fairly easily.
"Time to show our new teeth," Shepard said, standing directly behind Joker. "Fire the main gun."
Joker nodded, typing on his controls rapidly. A moment later, a shining blue beam of energy sped away from them, blasting into the much less maneuverable Collector ship, sending an explosion tearing backward through the ship.
"How do ya like that ya sons of bitches!?" Joker shouted.
"Get in close and finish 'em off," Shepard said.
"Everybody hold on, gonna be a wild ride!" Joker said, accelerating toward the ship.
"Wait, don't get too close Joker!" David warned. "When that ship's destroyed, it'll probably make a massive firework. If that blast hits us, it'll take us offline."
"Hit and run, got it," Joker said.
They sped toward the ship, avoiding a second attempt at blasting them, then fired their own guns a second time, the beam punching straight through the main section of the ship this time. Explosions began to decorate the Collector ship's hull rapidly and Joker moved to get some distance quickly, heading toward the Collector Base, which looked the same as the ship they'd just destroyed, except about a hundred times bigger. Then, the ship exploded and there was an electric hum as the engines shut off.
"Shit!" Joker said. "Engines are overheated! EDI, give me something!"
"Venting heat," EDI said, then paused. "I have one engine operational at ten percent."
"Shit!" Joker swore. "Brace for a rough landing!"
Jack wrapped her arms around David instantly, stepping to the left so that they were against the wall and David kissed her just as biotic energy began to shine around both of them from Jack. The Normandy veered to the side as the one working engine allowed them to avoid something in their path, then levelled out, Jack's biotics keeping him and David from moving. Then, the Normandy slammed down on the Collector Base, skidding to a stop after a second, though it wasn't actually that rough of a landing after the initial impact, though the inertial dampeners were apparently still off, because the force of slowing so quickly did make David's head go light and pressed him harder against the wall and Jack harder against him. Finally, the ship stopped skidding and Jack pulled away from the kiss, the biotic energy fading as she smiled.
"That wasn't so bad," Jack smiled. "I don't mind getting pressed up against you."
David smiled. "Same. How's the ship Joker?"
"EDI?" Joker asked.
"The engines are currently offline," EDI said. "Kinetic barriers are down, hull integrity is at seventy percent, and we are stranded on the Collector Base's hull. The engines should be cooled off and operable again in roughly one hour."
"Good," Joker said.
"If you hadn't given us that warning, this very well could have been a one-way trip, David," Miranda said from beside Shepard. "Well done."
"Thanks," David said. "How soon should we expect the welcoming committee?"
"I do not detect an internal security network," EDI said. "It is possible the Collectors did not expect anyone to reach the base."
"If we're lucky, their external sensors were hit like we were," Joker said. "They might not know we're alive."
"They will soon," David said.
"EDI, summon everyone to the Conference Room," Shepard said. "Have them grab their gear on the way."
"Yes, Shepard," EDI responded.
"Do you need David to stay and help with the ship?" Shepard asked.
"No way!" David said. "I'm not staying behind for this!"
"That will not be necessary," EDI said. "The engines simply need to cool, then they will function normally again."
"Alright," Shepard said. "Head to the Conference Room, then."
David nodded and he and Jack headed to the conference room, finding Miranda, Jacob, and Mordin already present, the others all arriving within a few minutes. Then, Shepard arrived, and they began to try and come up with a plan.
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