you know I will adore you ('til eternity) Chapter 19: overwhelming, a vampire diaries fanfic

summary: "Run all you want, but it won't change anything, Bonnie. It doesn't matter what world we're in, you'll always be my wife." After being sucked up into what they assumed would be oblivion, Damon and Bonnie soon find themselves in an idyllic little town where they're free to find peace. Which is exactly what they have for twelve years, until reality comes calling to bring them home.

word count: 17,545

XIX.

MYSTIC FALLS, VIRGINIA - 2014

The euphoria was immediate and blinding. For a moment, there was nothing but the familiar and long-lost faces of people Damon hadn't seen in twelve long years. Elena, Stefan, even Caroline was a welcome sight. Real and solid, they stood before him in different states of shock and joy. But the excitement Damon felt was short-lived, as reality was quick to set in, and with it came pain.

"Any of it."

The words repeated in Damon's brain, drowning out everything else. He could feel Stefan squeezing his shoulder, could see his mouth forming his name, but all Damon could hear were those three words.

Any of it.

Twelve years, lost. In a flash and a blink. His entire life turned on its head.

Suddenly, his gut was twisting and his skin felt too tight, stretched to its limits, like a rubber band eager to burst. His mouth ached and his throat burned. The smell of the forest became overwhelmingly defined. Damp, rotting foliage; aged wood; scared and curious animals roving about. He could hear heartbeats with a precision he had almost completely forgotten. The rush of blood moving through ripe veins made his teeth throb in a way that was so foreign to him now that it hurt. But all of that was survivable. It was irritating and distracting, but it wasn't his focus. No, it was the fact that Bonnie— his wife, his best friend— couldn't remember their entire life together. And the sensation of Damon's heart feeling like it was being carved from his chest was all too familiar, even for all the years that it had been since it had last occurred. Why did he ever miss being a vampire when all it did was turn everything up to a thousand? Heartache, loss, fear, pain, rejection. Grief.

"He needs blood."

Damon blinked, over and over, until he felt like he was a little more in control of himself. A year, he thought, bewildered and annoyed. It seemed impossible. Twelve years, not months, had passed in his world. And he was a better person for it. Wasn't he? Or did that all get washed away now that he was no longer Damon Salvatore, extraordinarily ordinary human, bar owner and husband? Was he back to who he'd once been? The troubled one. Always screwing up, always making the wrong choice, always second best, if that. It was crushing. If he were human, this would be about the time he started having a panic attack. But he wasn't human. He was painfully inhuman. He was a monster. The thing of nightmares. He was what Bonnie had always hated. Again.

"Caroline? Do we have any—"

"Here!"

A blood bag was shoved unceremoniously into Damon's mouth.

"Damon, you're hungry." Stefan's voice penetrated the ringing in his head. Stefan's hand, cool and soothing, wrapped around the nape of Damon's neck, grounding him. "Drink!"

It was both a familiar and unfamiliar feeling— the hunger that reared its ugly head, and the fear that came with it. Damon could see in Stefan's eyes, a reflection of his face, of a monster he hadn't been in so long. The rippling veins crawling down his cheeks, the black blood suffusing his eyes. He looked to Bonnie, scared at what he might see. Disgust? Fear? Or worse— nothing. But she wasn't looking at him. Her gaze was lost and distant, staring out at the trees, blind to his chaos. She didn't notice his distress. She didn't care. She didn't remember.

He stared at her as blood filled his mouth. She looked so young. Her hair cut short in that sleek bob he hadn't seen in years. Her skin smooth and unblemished, untouched by laugh lines and age. Her clothes loose-fitting and strange. Not the puffy winter jacket he'd last seen her in, the gloves he'd given her from his own pocket when she'd forgotten hers, the scarf he'd personally wrapped around her neck when they left the house. No, she was the picture of a girl he hadn't seen in more than a decade. Which meant, to her, he must look the same. Even on their best day, Bonnie had been no lover of vampires. And if all she remembered of him was who he was before they were blipped out of existence… Did she hate him? He bit down so hard on the blood bag, it ruptured in Stefan's hand, pouring down his wrist and dripping to the forest floor.

"Wasteful," Caroline mumbled before handing over a second bag. "Here. I know you're hungry but these don't grow on trees. I only brought a few. And Elena already stole one." She tossed an annoyed look behind him, presumably in Elena's direction.

Blood poured down Damon's chin as he absently accepted the second bag Caroline shoved against his chest. The hunger had abated enough now that it wasn't painful. No, that was reserved for the numbing grief spreading through his body.

Lost and confused, Bonnie stood just a few feet away, but she might as well have been on another continent.

Copper coated Damon's tongue and teeth, and while he knew that would do nothing but scare her, he still found himself stepping in her direction, staring at her searchingly, hoping for some scrap of recognition. "Bon…" he said, a whispered plea. If he could just hold her, get through to her… If she could just remember, it would be okay. Whatever this was, however long they were back, they could face it together.

"Stefan!" a woman called, urgent and loud.

Everyone turned.

A woman, with a crowd of exhausted witches— they reeked of magic— at her back, stared at Stefan levelly. "We've done our part. It's time you held up your end of the bargain. Time is running out."

"Bargain?" Elena wondered.

Stefan's jaw ticked and he looked from the woman to Damon. "I have to go. I have something to do. I'll explain later, but you should go back to the apartment with Caroline."

Damon blinked. "Apartment?"

"The town is a no-magic zone. It's a long story." Stefan shook his head. "Just… go with Caroline." He squeezed Damon's shoulder, pulled that 'heroic' face that still seemed etched in Damon's memory, and stepped back.

"No." Damon's chest lurched. And like riding a bike, he found himself drawn toward impending doom and danger. Blood was drying on his mouth and his wife stood just feet away, a stranger amongst the familiar. It was too much and not enough and, like a coward, he wanted to run away. To regroup, he told himself. To wrap his head around… everything.

"You don't have to come with me," Stefan told him. "I can handle it."

Damon forced a grin. "Who said you couldn't? Maybe I just want to tag along for old time's sake. Besides… We've got a year to catch up on. You can fill me in while you're fulfilling whatever blood oath you made to the head witch over there."

Stefan hesitated but eventually nodded. Turning to Caroline, he asked, "Take everyone back to the apartment?"

"Are you sure?" Caroline's brow furrowed. "We could do this together. All of us!"

Stefan shook his head. "Take care of Bonnie. We won't be long, I promise."

Chewing her lip, Caroline hesitated, but the urge to fuss over Bonnie was too strong and she eventually nodded.

Damon watched as Stefan and Caroline, besties when he'd last seen them, kissed goodbye, clinging to each other in a way Damon was entirely too familiar with— love teetering at the precipice of possible loss. But then Caroline, pasting on a peppy smile, turned her sights on Bonnie. "Okay! We should go. You must be tired and confused and so many different things."

Damon cast his gaze around the collection of people milling about. The witches had mostly disbanded, hurrying off into the woods. All but one. The head witch remained, watching Damon with an eerie, serious gaze. Much like when Sheila Bennett flattened him with a glare, he found himself looking away. The Gilberts had joined Caroline in circling Bonnie. And then—

Yip!

"Oh… Oh my god, who's this?" Caroline cooed. "Where did you come from, little guy?"

Damon's shoulders tightened as his eyes fell to the forest floor, where a tiny black ball of fur sat leaning against Bonnie's ankle. Damon watched as slowly, curiously, Bonnie bent down and carefully plucked the puppy up to cradle in her arms.

Mina… He'd recognize her anywhere. But how?

"Damon?" Stefan called.

Right. He had somewhere to be. His puppified dog would have to wait. And so would everything else. "Lead the way."

Stefan nodded before hurrying off into the dense trees, Damon right behind him.

…

Bonnie was cold. She chalked it up to shock because the weather was noticeably warm. It was June, with summer just around the corner. And still, Bonnie felt chilled, goosebumps fanning across her skin. She half-expected it to start snowing.

Walking through the woods in the direction Caroline was sure led to the parking lot, Bonnie hugged her mystery puppy a little tighter and barely restrained the urge to bury her face in its fur. It was soft and warm and seemed content to let her cuddle it. She couldn't begin to guess where it had come from, appearing at her feet with a loose-fitting collar and leash.

"So, you don't remember anything?" Elena rubbed Bonnie's arm. "Not how you… left or where you were? None of it?"

Bonnie swallowed and shook her head. "I remember being the anchor… I remember how painful it was when somebody died… But I don't remember dying myself."

Elena squeezed her arm comfortingly but offered no explanation for the how or why. Instead, she seemed to back off, slowing down so she could walk with Jeremy. A part of Bonnie was glad that he was keeping his distance. Unlike Caroline and Elena, he hadn't offered a hug. He'd just been there, a quiet observer rather than a participant.

Bonnie looked ahead, to the woman who had sent Stefan off on some kind of mission. "Who's she?"

"That's Cass," Caroline explained. "Her coven helped us bring you back. She knew Grams."

"Grams?" Bonnie's voice cracked. "She was…" Her eyes skittered away, searching for something, but she couldn't begin to understand what. Like a puzzle missing too many pieces, she had a misshapen picture that she just couldn't make sense of.

"It's okay. Maybe it's just some weird, temporary amnesia. I mean, it's been a crazy day… and year… and life." Caroline wrapped an arm around Bonnie and rubbed her back. "We'll go back to the apartment and relax. You can eat and sleep and ask as many questions as you want."

Food and sleep sounded amazing, but as the parking lot came into the view, the idea of leaving the woods suddenly made Bonnie uneasy. It didn't make any kind of sense; there was nothing and no one keeping here there. But she felt like she was leaving something behind and the urge to go back and find it settled heavy in her stomach. Still, as Caroline walked, Bonnie let herself follow.

Hovering just behind them, Jeremy and Elena were having a hushed conversation, likely about how weird she was being. But Bonnie couldn't help that. Something was off. Strange. Something was missing and she didn't know what. Her memory, obviously, but it felt bigger than that…

Bonnie's thoughts wandered back to Cass. She knew Grams… Maybe, when Bonnie's head didn't feel so heavy and fuzzy, she could ask her about that. Maybe Cass could help make sense of everything.

…

Caroline didn't know what to do. Bonnie was in shock, clearly. She'd barely said a word, just nodding along while Caroline filled her in on the magical barrier, the prison and pocket world spell, Cass and her coven's agreement, and the fact that yeah, an entire year had passed. Bonnie flinched whenever that was mentioned, and Caroline felt it like a stake to the heart. She'd screwed up by taking so long. If only she had figured this out sooner. If only she'd found Cass and fixed this mess months ago, maybe Bonnie wouldn't be so distant. Caroline was trying to understand. So much time had passed and maybe Bonnie had even made some kind of peace with her inevitable end. It had to be so overwhelming to be alive now. But was it so wrong for her to want her friend to be as excited to be alive as Caroline was for her?

When they reached the apartment, Caroline was quick to run through a tour of where the guest room was, offering to remake the bed with fresh linens and pick up groceries. She was happy to make anything Bonnie might want to eat. But, as she rambled on about different things she could throw together, Bonnie just wandered around the apartment, looking at pictures of her and Stefan and her mom in various stages over the past twelve months. Or, well, less than that, really. She wasn't exactly snapping pictures when she was captured by Marielle or being held hostage by Cass. Still, there were snapshots with Stefan showing that life had gone on in some way. Pictures from holidays she'd spent with friends and her mom, trying to infuse some sense of normality into their lives even when everything felt so topsy-turvy.

"You and Stefan…"

"Yeah." Caroline smiled softly. "It was tough. I mean, probably not the best time to realize you're in love with your best friend, but… He was my rock through everything. And I tried to be his. Even though I was totally obsessed with bringing you back and…"

"He didn't think you could?"

Caroline winced. "We tried so many times and it never worked. I think he just reached his threshold for getting his hopes up."

"We all did," Elena murmured. She fiddled with her hands as she took a seat on the arm of a chair. "It's not that we didn't want to believe that some miracle would come along and bring you home, it's just… We felt like we'd already used up all the miracles. And as time passed, it was hard to imagine anything would ever change."

Bonnie hummed. On the floor, a puppy was tripping over her feet. Caroline had no idea where it had come from, only that it had appeared in this world along with Bonnie and Damon and hadn't left Bonnie's side since. The collar it wore had been too big, so Bonnie had shortened it as much as possible. Even then, it seemed overlarge on such a tiny ball of fur.

"Is he going to need to pee anytime soon?" Caroline worried. "I don't want to nag, it's just… He's on my carpet, so…"

Bonnie smiled faintly. "I'll take her out."

"Okay. I'll come with you!"

"I'm okay, Caroline." Bonnie scooped the dog up and walked to the door. "I'll come right back, I promise."

Caroline chewed her lip. She knew she was probably being hovery and overcautious, but knowing didn't make it easy to stop. "Right. Okay."

As the door closed behind Bonnie, Caroline let out a heavy sigh and turned to Elena. "Do you think she's okay?"

Elena shrugged. "It's a lot to take in. I mean, she's been dead for a year."

"Yeah, I know. It's just… I thought she'd be excited. Or relieved. Or… something. But mostly she just seems… I don't know. Sad, maybe?"

"She's human. A witch, yeah, but still human. Actually, is she still a witch?" Elena shook the thought away. "Anyway, a year is a long time. And maybe she wasn't sure she'd come back. She seemed to know at the end. When the other side was falling apart, she knew she'd go with it. Maybe she accepted it. And now, being back, it's gotta be a weird adjustment."

"Yeah…" Caroline frowned. "What about you? How are you feeling?"

"Honestly…? Overwhelmed. I thought I was moving on. I felt like I was really making progress. And then he was standing there and it was like… Like it'd been twelve seconds instead of twelve months."

"Does that mean you'll come back?"

"I don't know what it means." Sighing, Elena scrubbed a hand through her hair. "I have a life in New York. I know you think I was running away and maybe I was. Maybe I'm a coward. But the grief was just too much. I felt like I was being consumed by it. And I realized that the only way to stop it was to leave. I had to start over and just… put all of this behind me. It was either that or flip my switch and I knew I didn't want to do that."

"But it's different now, isn't it?"

"Is it? What happens if it doesn't last or… or if he dies again? Do I run then too? Who am I without Damon?" Elena shook her head. "The truth is, I don't know. Before Damon, it was Stefan, and before him, it was Matt. I don't know who I am without a man in my life, holding me up in some way. That's not who I want to be."

"Okay. That's…" Caroline tipped her head thoughtfully. "Actually, that sounds really healthy."

Elena laughed. "Right?"

"Look, whatever you want to do, I'll support it. I know I've been a mess this last year. I've been angry and blamey and chaotic and neurotic and just… completely obsessed with this. But, I owed it to Bonnie to do everything I could to make this right. After everything she did, everything she's sacrificed, I had to try."

"I know. And you shouldn't have had to do it alone. I should've been here."

"Yeah, but I get it. And, you know, Stefan helped a lot."

"You guys make a great team." Elena half-smiled. "I don't know how long I'll stick around, but I want to be here for Bonnie. We can help her figure this out."

Caroline grinned. "I'd really like that."

…

Damon waved a long stick around, batting at foliage and random branches. "So, who is this guy?"

"Malachi Parker. He's a siphon," Stefan said. "According to Cass, it's like a witch but instead of having magic of their own, they have to siphon it off of other witches. More importantly, Sheila put him in a prison world after he murdered most of his family trying to become the leader of his coven."

"Sooo, he's a sociopath that needs a magic source and you brought him an entire coven of witches…" Damon frowned. "And what are we doing? Sending him back or putting him down?"

Stefan sighed. "I told Cass I would put him down for good. They don't think they can recreate the spell Sheila used to send him to the prison world. They're not even sure it exists anymore. Sheila used that spell to help send you and Bonnie to wherever you landed."

Damon stumbled to a stop. "Are you saying the place we went to doesn't exist anymore?"

Stefan shook his head. "I don't know. From what I can tell, it exists independent of Sheila's magic. She just used the spell keeping Malachi in the prison world to help guide you and Bonnie to a… pocket world. So, maybe? I don't know enough about magic to say for sure."

Damon hummed, but his head was spinning. Were they gone? Had the town he called home turned to nothing? Were his friends lost? Or had it all just started over again? With no sign that Bonnie or Damon had ever existed, ever been a part of their lives?

"Damon? Hey, are you all right?"

Damon swallowed down the panic crawling up his throat like bile. "Let's find this Malachi character and put this thing to rest." He sped up. "After that, we need to have a chat with Cass…"

Nodding, Stefan kept pace with him.

…

The sun was setting, casting a pink-orange glow across the sky, slowly melting into a deep purple. There was a patch of grass nearby that the dog was walking circles around, sniffing but never peeing. Bonnie patiently waited for her to do her business, her head busy with thoughts she wasn't ready to dissect. While she couldn't remember being dead, being alive felt wholly strange. The world around her just seemed distant, like she was only visiting, a passerby. Surreal, in a way. She hoped it would wear off, and fast.

"Hey."

Startled, Bonnie looked up to find Jeremy lingering nearby, his hands shoved into his coat pockets.

"Hi."

"Sorry I scared you. I, uh… I thought I'd give you some space but then… Guess I'm not good at that."

Bonnie stared at him a beat. He looked so… young and yet not young at all. The pressures of life had aged him, hardened him, in some ways. He didn't look like the Jeremy she remembered. She felt like she was looking at a total stranger and that… scared her. This was the first boy she'd ever loved. A boy she still loved, didn't she? Those feelings felt so foreign, so far away. "How are you?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He smiled, faint and sad. "Always worrying about everybody else, that's you."

She frowned. The way he said it sounded less like a compliment and more like a bitter statement of fact. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Sometimes," he said bluntly.

She squirmed, her brow furrowed. "You seem mad."

Looking away, he took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. "I'm not. Or I didn't think I was… I thought I was over it. What happened…"

"Me dying?" Her voice took on an ironic twist. "Sorry I screwed up your plans?"

"No, that's not… That isn't what I meant." He leveled her with a stare just short of accusing. "You left me, Bonnie… You knew that you were going to die when the wall came down and you… You were prepared to go. You didn't tell me. You just… You left."

"I'm sorry." It came out instinctively, even though she wasn't sure it was necessary. "Jeremy, I don't remember it. Not completely. It's all still kind of blurry. I remember being the anchor, I remember the travelers, sort of. And I know that I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never do that on purpose."

"That's the problem though, isn't it? It's never on purpose, but it always happens."

"That's not fair." Bonnie's chest burned as righteous indignation welled up. "Everything I've ever done was for the people I love. The people I want to protect!"

He lurched forward a step, his expression wrought with irritation. That was Jeremy, a wick always waiting to be lit. "At the expense of yourself!"

"You think I don't know that?" Her hands balled into fists. "You think I haven't noticed that I'm always the sacrificial lamb? Because I did, Jeremy. I'm aware, all right? It wasn't right or fair, but it happened. I can't erase what's already been done."

"Would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Change it? Any of it." He stared at her searchingly. "Would you go back to a year ago and do it differently?"

No. The answer came to her with such certainty that for a moment, she was dizzy. She wasn't sure why her brain had an answer when she barely remembered or understood what had happened. All she knew was that she made a choice to save as many people as she could, and it cost her life to do it. Once again, Bonnie Bennett died, and so shortly after she'd just been resurrected. So why… Why was she so sure that if she had to do it again, she would? Was it just her nature? Or something else entirely.

"You're asking me about something I barely remember…" It was a cop out. She knew that. But she didn't have an answer, at least not one he would want to hear or that she could defend.

"I'm asking you… standing here, right now, knowing that you lost an entire year of your life… Was it worth it? Knowing what you know. Was any of it worth it?"

Bonnie stared at him. "Whatever choice I made back then, I must've believed it was the right one, or I wouldn't have made it… I didn't want to die. I never want to die! But sometimes I don't have a choice. Sometimes, the choice is made for me. And you'll never understand that. You'll never know what that feels like!"

Jeremy shook his head. "No, because I would never let myself be someone else's sacrifice."

She let out a choked, scoffing laugh. "How do you think people become that, Jeremy? You think they just wake up one day and decide, 'yeah, today is the day I bury myself.' No. It wasn't just my choices that put me where I am. It was everybody around me. It was the people I was willing to die for. It was the people I loved—"

"They led you to the slaughter, is that what you're saying?"

"They didn't stop me!" Anger—fiery and electric—spread through her body, making her chest warm and her fingers tingle. The urge to fight, to defend, to make herself heard boiled up inside her.

"How can we if you don't tell us what you're doing?"

"Ask yourself, really ask yourself, if it was me or Elena, would you let her die?" She stared at him knowingly, her eyes burning. "Would you let her die so that I could live?"

His jaw snapped shut, a muscle ticking. "She's my sister."

"I know. And she's my best friend." As quickly as the fire roared, it died. Bonnie shook her head, defeated. "I would do anything for her… I have done anything for her."

"Bonnie…" The anger seemed to ebb from him too. "This place… this path you're on… it's going to tear you apart."

"Yeah." She laughed emotionally. "Well, maybe next time I'll be pieced back together a little sooner, right?"

He winced. "We tried to bring you back. Caroline kept coming up with new plans, none of them worked."

"I keep hearing that." She half-smiled. "Caroline did this, Caroline tried that… I know you were there and that it hurt when it didn't work, but what did you try? What magical fix-it did you look for?"

He frowned. "I looked."

"Yeah? For how long? A day? A week? A month?"

Jeremy looked away, hurt and offended. "If you think I didn't miss you… mourn you… every day…"

"That's not what I asked." Bonnie stepped toward him, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Missing and mourning me doesn't bring me back, Jeremy. I didn't want to be another ghost that haunted you."

"Then stop making yourself one."

She stared at him, her heart lodged in her throat, and for a moment, she wondered how she could have ever loved someone who hated the core of her so much. Or maybe hate was the wrong word. But there was some truth in it, wasn't there? To him, she had built herself into the model of a martyr. But Bonnie wondered if her worth hadn't been written into her destiny long before she could choose it.

"Bonnie?" The front door of the apartment building swung open and Caroline leaned out. "Everything okay? You've been out here a while. I haven't had a dog since I was six, but unless this one has a seriously shy bladder, we might need to make a vet appointment."

"She's fine." Abruptly, Bonnie plucked the dog up from the grass and walked to the door. "You mentioned making dinner. Can I help?"

Caroline brightened. "Of course!"

Bonnie stepped inside and followed a cheerfully chatty Caroline toward the elevator. When she looked back, Jeremy was gone. And she wondered if that might not be for the best.

…

A couple hours had passed and Stefan and Damon were nowhere nearer to finding Malachi. "This would be a lot easier with a locator spell or a Find My Sociopath app."

Stefan snorted. "They didn't exactly have his blood on hand. And I might've overestimated my ability to find him after everything settled. I guess I thought he'd be right there with you, not wandering the woods."

"Maybe one of us should've stayed back with the coven." Damon swatted at a low-hanging branch. "If he's on the hunt for magic, he had his pick of the crop back there."

Frowning, Stefan glanced back over his shoulder. "I should check in…"

A thought rolled around in Damon's head, eager to be considered. "You said this guy siphons magic… Can he only take it from other witches?"

"I think so. Why?"

"Because I thought you said there was a magical barrier around Mystic Falls that kept vampires from stepping foot in town."

"There is."

Damon looked around thoughtfully. "Where does the barrier start?"

Stefan paused, his gaze bouncing around until he noticed a marker Caroline's mom had put on a tree. A marker that was well behind them now. "We would've already passed it… This doesn't make sense."

"It does if this guy can siphon any magic…" Damon took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. "Call Cass and tell her to meet us at the boarding house. We need to make a plan."

"I'll call Caroline too. She'll want to know."

"Fine, but don't call her back in. The apartment she took Bonnie to, is that at Whitmore?"

"We bought a place about halfway between Whitmore and here."

"Bought a place." Damon whistled. "Are wedding bells on the horizon?"

Ignoring his question, Stefan said, "Caroline will want to be a part of this."

"Sure she will. But I don't want Bonnie anywhere near this guy." Damon swung the stick behind his neck and across his shoulders, his hands hanging from either end. "She'll be his first target."

Stefan's brow furrowed.

Rolling his eyes, Damon said, "She's a descendent of the witch that put him in a prison world and we don't know what Cass' spell restored. If Bon-Bon's got her witchy powers back, she's exactly who Malachi's gonna want to drain."

Stefan absorbed that before saying, "You're worried about Bonnie?"

"You're not the only person things have changed for, Little Brother." Damon nodded toward the phone in his hand. "Tell Cass we need help locating, that's all. And was that Jer-Bear I saw earlier? Maybe he can break out some of that hunting gear of his and help us put this guy down."

"I'll call him and Matt."

"Donovan?" Damon pulled a face. "What for?"

"He's been doing his own sort of hunting. He can help." Stefan took a step back, phone in hand. "I'll make the calls. Meet you at the house?"

Damon nodded. "Yeah. See you there."

He watched Stefan walk away, phone pressed against his ear. And then he was moving so quickly that everything around him seemed to blur. And yet, Damon's brain processed his surroundings easily, body weaving and darting around anything in his path. Superior agility—a blessing to most. He remembered mornings that he and Mina would go jogging, when he would set an alarm on his wristwatch and see how far he could get in a set amount of time. When sweat would bead down his back and soak his shirt. When his breath would grow ragged and his lungs would squeeze and burn from the effort, the muscles of his legs aching from exertion. A wholly human feeling that was absent now. He missed it.

Damon came to an easy stop in front of the boarding house and stared up at the gloomy figure it cut. So unlike his own house, currently dressed in snow and ribbons of icicles strung along the roof, but blooming with flower beds and a hill of green grass in the spring. Their warm little house was far from the expanse of musty, unused bedrooms, pricey oriental rugs, and uncomfortable, antique furniture the boarding house boasted. This was still home, it always would be, but it wasn't home.

Home was the kitchen he cooked in every night, that he danced in with Bonnie. It was their wall of shelves, overflowing with dogeared books of Italian poetry. It was the stone fireplace Mina slept in front of, that warmed him and Bonnie while they cuddled on the couch. It was the tub Bonnie loved to soak in with a glass of wine, bubbles reaching the rim. It was the tree outside their bedroom window. The vegetable garden they'd dug together. The hammock they napped in, shaded from the sun and warmed by a summer breeze. It was the garage where he and the guys formed their band, that he'd rebuilt his car in. The backyard where he married Bonnie, vowing to love, honor, and cherish her forever.

This was not home, and he had no idea how to get back there. No idea how to make any of it right. No idea how to prove to Bonnie that any of it had happened. That he was someone she loved; that she was proud of. And the fact that he might never know was breaking his heart.

…

Caroline was getting nervous. After dinner, Bonnie had retired to the guest room for a nap and Caroline was free to pace and panic. She hadn't heard anything from Stefan or Cass. She was struggling not to text him every few minutes demanding an update, not wanting to distract him in a potentially dangerous situation. But sitting at home while he was off fighting a magic-stealing serial killer wasn't her forte. Usually, she would be out there with him. She wondered if Elena would mind staying behind and keeping an eye on Bonnie while she tried to track down Stefan and Damon. But then she remembered just how reserved Bonnie had been and she felt bad about wanting to leave so early into her return, even if she was sleeping.

"Why don't you just call him?" Elena asked, exasperated.

"Haven't you ever watched a horror movie? His phone will go off, alerting the killer to where is, and it'll be all my fault."

"He's a vampire, Care. I think he can outmaneuver this Malachi guy."

"He slaughtered his entire family and he can steal magic. All he'd have to do is grab Cass or someone in her coven and then he's a serious threat." She chewed her lip. "I just don't know what's taking so long."

"He's probably hiding somewhere in Mystic Falls and they have to find a way to lure him out. That or get Matt to hunt him down and bring him outside the barrier."

"I know, you're probably right. I just don't like feeling useless."

"Useless about what? And who is Malachi?" A sleepy Bonnie wandered into view, scrubbing a hand over her eyes and yawning.

"He's…" Caroline paused. She'd told Bonnie about this earlier, but she wasn't so sure Bonnie had absorbed half of what she'd said. She'd been spacey and distracted since she got back. And now that Caroline was thinking it over, maybe telling Bonnie there was a threat out there was a bad idea. After all, she'd be the first to join the fight. "He's no one." Caroline exchanged a look with Elena. "Are you sure you don't want to nap longer? You still look pretty tired."

"I tried to sleep and I can't. My head won't shut off." Bonnie looked between them. "One of you needs to tell me who Malachi is and why Stefan and Damon are looking for him."

Caroline chewed her lip.

Sighing, Elena took over. "He's a witch. Or a subset of one… In order to bring you and Damon back, Caroline and Stefan made a deal with Cass and her coven…" Elena told her everything. Who Malachi was, what Grams had done to put him away, how she'd used the spell to help guide Bonnie and Damon somewhere safe, and that now it was up to Stefan to put Malachi down for good.

Bonnie stared at the floor a long moment, blank-faced.

"Bonnie?" Elena asked quietly. "Are you okay?"

"With the barrier, Damon and Stefan can't get into town. Not without dying. But Malachi can… And so can I."

Elena frowned. "Yeah, but… Bonnie it's dangerous. He siphons magic. If he touches you—"

"It won't matter. The barrier makes me as human as anyone else. And anyway, I don't even know if I have my powers back. When the other side collapsed, I was the anchor, not a witch, and even that seems to be gone."

"Well, have you tried?" Caroline wondered. "Even just a little spell, like making something float or lighting a candle?"

Bonnie chewed her lip. "I didn't want to know. Not yet."

"Because if you can't, you might never get them back?" Elena smiled sympathetically. "Sometimes not knowing feels a little easier."

"Yeah." Bonnie scrubbed a hand over her face. "Matt's in town, right? And Tyler?"

"I don't know about Tyler," Elena said. "But I know Matt is. He said he'd come over later to welcome you back."

"Okay, so, I can meet him in town instead." Bonnie nodded. "We can find Malachi and get him somewhere he can be… dealt with."

Caroline's brows hiked. "You would help with that?"

"He's a killer… and if my Grams put him in that prison world, she did it for a reason. I don't know if killing him is the right choice, but we should find him before he can hurt anyone. From there, we'll figure it out."

"Are you sure about this?" Caroline wondered. "You just got back. And Stefan… I trust him, and Damon, to deal with Malachi."

"It's not about trusting. If he already has a head start and he crosses the border, there's nothing they can do." Bonnie shook her head. "Even without powers, he's a killer. Everybody in Mystic Falls is at risk. I have to do something."

While still nervous and unsure, Caroline and Elena exchanged a look before nodding.

"Okay, let's go."

…

It was probably a red flag just how quickly Bonnie fell back into her old role, but the way she saw it, she was the best option. Malachi was only out because Caroline wanted to bring Bonnie home. In a way, this was her responsibility. Especially if Grams was the one to put him in that prison world in the first place. Between her and Matt, she figured they could do something. If Malachi was non-magical, how big of a threat could he really be? Inside Mystic Falls, he would be about as threatening as any other human… except that he had already willingly killed his own family, so maybe a little more aggressive. But Matt was a trained deputy, apparently. And if Tyler was around, she was sure he would help too. It was what came after that she wasn't sure about. Stefan had apparently agreed to put Malachi down for good. Could she be okay with that? And if not, what was the alternative? Finding a way to send him back to the prison world Grams made?

Yip!

Bonnie's gaze fell to the puppy curled up on the passenger seat. She could have left him at Caroline's, but once Malachi was figured out, she wanted to go home. And while she hadn't exactly planned on getting a dog, now it seemed she had one, so he would just have to come home with her. She loved Caroline, but she wasn't exactly pet oriented and neither was her apartment. So, the puppy stayed with Bonnie and, frankly, she was glad for it. For whatever reason, having the dog close was comforting. She just hoped that same puppy didn't decide to pop a squat and pee on Elena's borrowed car.

Entering Mystic Falls felt a little surreal. While it had technically been a year, for her it felt both longer and shorter. She wasn't sure if it was just the hour, but everything seemed quieter, emptier than usual. There weren't as many people out and about or driving down the street. Instead, it seemed eerily absent. Doors closed, lights off, streets empty. This wasn't the same town she grew up in, that always seemed to have some event scheduled around every corner.

Using the phone she borrowed from Elena—she really needed to get her own things, starting with a car and a phone— she dialed Matt and put it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Matt, hey. I'm just passing the town square. Where are you?"

"Parked in front of Mystic Grill. It's good to hear your voice!"

She smiled. "Yours too. See you in a minute."

It wasn't long before she spotted Matt's familiar truck. The door swung open and he climbed out, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans. She parked behind him and pulled her seat belt off. Checking on the puppy, she found her fast asleep and squashed the urge to scratch her little ears. Climbing out of the car, she closed the door gently before making her way over to Matt. He met her mid-way and grabbed her up in a hug. Bonnie sunk into it, smiling into his shoulder.

With a squeeze, he let her go. "Sorry I wasn't there to see your triumphant return."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't call it triumphant. I was gone and then I wasn't." She shrugged. "Not much to see."

"I'm just glad you're okay. It was a long year and…" He shook his head. "I'll be honest, I didn't totally believe Caroline was going to get you back."

"Yeah, well, you know Caroline. When she sets her mind to something…"

He laughed under his breath. "No kidding."

Bonnie took a look around. "Things seem quiet around here."

"When the local supernatural community can't come around, we tend to have less trouble."

"And tourists." Her brows arched. "This place is like a ghost town."

"There are upsides and downsides to it." He crossed his arms. "Caroline said we're looking for someone… Said he was dangerous?"

"Yeah. Actually…" She dug the phone out from her pocket. "I didn't get much of a description since it was apparently supposed to be on Stefan to find him, but Caroline said she'd send me a picture of him." Swiping open the messages, she tapped on a couple pictures Caroline had texted over. "Looks like he made the newspaper back in the 90's."

"For what, exactly?"

"Mass murder." Caroline had spent pictures of old, archived news articles. "See, 'Family Massacred in Portland.'"

"Seriously?" Matt leaned closer to get a look at the phone screen.

"Caroline said his name was Malachi but, according to this, his family called him—"

"Kai."

Bonnie felt a chill skitter down her spine. Together, she and Matt turned.

Across the street was a figure. He stepped out until he was bathed in the yellow glow of a streetlamp, revealing a smirking face. "Who names a kid Malachi? It's like they expected me to be evil."

Bonnie glanced at Matt, whose hand was slowly sliding toward the gun on his hip.

"Also, just a fact-check on that, not everyone died. I had a soft spot for one of my sisters." Kai strolled a little closer, casual and calm. "Otherwise, I would've cut her lungs out and not her spleen."

Matt blinked. "What?"

Kai giggled at their apparent shock. "You can survive without a spleen." He looked between them before rolling his eyes. "It could've been worse. Two of my brothers, I hung them off a stairwell railing, then I put a hunting knife through my other sister's abdomen, and my last brother, I drowned in the pool. But he... He kept fighting me. And I was like, 'I saved you for last, you ungrateful, little...'" He stared off into the distance for a moment before shaking it off. "Anyway, that was that. And, a lifetime ago, you know? I mean, here we are, some twenty odd years later. Can't we let bygones be bygones?"

Matt stood a little taller, shifting his feet. "You're a killer. Those were innocent people. Who kills their own family?"

"Coven, actually." He grinned. "I mean, yeah, sure, we were also related, but I like the extra pizazz calling them my coven adds, you know?"

"We can't overlook what you did." Bonnie shook her head. "You were sent to a prison world for a reason."

"Yeah, penance. And I think I've paid my due." Kai's gaze bounced between them until, eventually, he shrugged. "I didn't come here to negotiate. You just happen to be between me and what I've heard is a great burger."

Matt's hand folded around his gun. "We can't just let you walk away."

"Ah, ah, ah…" Kai wagged a finger. "I wouldn't do that."

Bonnie's brow furrowed. "There's a magical barrier here. Whatever power you think you have—"

"There was a magical barrier here." Kai grinned. "I took care of that."

Bonnie's eyes widened as a cold drip of realization slid down her back. "Matt…"

"Look, I'm happy for us to all walk away from this intact," Kai assured. "I just have a couple questions like… How do you know who I am and why were you looking for me?"

Matt pulled his gun but before he could so much as release the safety, he was thrown off his feet and sent twisting through the air. His head cracked against the driver's side door before he slumped to the ground.

Bonnie's phone tumbled from her hand as she fell to a crouch beside him. She checked for a pulse and was relieved to find one, but he was knocked out cold and bleeding heavily from a gash across the back of his head.

Kai sucked air in through his teeth. "Oops. Head wounds always look worse than they are."

She glared up at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Since it hasn't sunk in yet, I'll spell it out for you. I'm what they call a sociopath."

Bonnie clenched her teeth. "We aren't the only ones looking for you. How do you think you got out of your prison? Dumb luck?"

His eyes narrowed. "Explain."

…

"What do you mean the barrier is down?" Caroline pressed a hand against her forehead and swallowed down her agitation. "Where are you?"

"I'm with Cass," Stefan said. "We're headed to the boarding house. Damon's waiting for us."

"Who's us?"

"I called Matt and Jeremy. Jeremy's on the way with some of his hunting gear. Matt didn't pick up. And Tyler… I don't know where he is. How're you? How's Bonnie settling in?"

Caroline winced. "Bonnie's in Mystic Falls."

"What?"

"She wanted to help! We thought the barrier was still up, so she was going to meet up with Matt and see if there was a way to find Malachi and bring him to you guys."

"Caroline… Malachi is a siphon. If Bonnie has her magic—"

"I know," she snapped. "And we're not sure if she does. She hasn't tried to use it. But we thought with the barrier up, there'd be no magic to siphon off her."

"Only the barrier's down and we're pretty sure it's Malachi's fault…"

Caroline frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, Damon has a theory that Malachi can siphon magic from anything, that he might've sucked up the barrier spell. Meaning right now, he is incredibly powerful. And that's not someone we want Bonnie facing off with, especially if she's not even sure she has her powers… Not to mention, she's a Bennett. And the last Bennett this guy knew put him in a prison world for twenty odd years."

Caroline squeezed her eyes closed against the frustration building up inside her. "Okay. I need to find her. You go to the boarding house and make a plan with Damon. Elena and I will find Bonnie."

"All right. Be careful!"

"You too!"

…

"What the hell do you mean you can't find Bonnie?" Damon looked from Stefan to Jeremy.

"Caroline and Elena are looking for her. She's somewhere in town, trying to track down Malachi. She didn't know the barrier was down."

"Elena gave her a phone, but she's not answering," Jeremy added.

Gritting his teeth, Damon spun away from them. He could feel the veins spidering out beneath his eyes and had to take a deep, calming breath. "All right… You two stay here with Cass. Try to brainstorm an idea on how to find Killer Kai while I find Bonnie."

"Why don't we all go?" Jeremy said. "We can cover more ground."

"The last thing I need is more people wandering around being targets. Stay here and keep your head down." Damon marched toward the door. He'd only been back a few hours and he already wanted a vacation. He was slightly comforted by the fact that, since he was no longer stuck in a pocket world where only the town he lived in existed, he and Bonnie could pack up and go anywhere they wanted. Like a nice, warm, sandy beach…

…

Bonnie stared at this man who seemed to be emboldened by her fear, soaking it in, reveling in it. This was a man her Grams thought was enough of a threat to banish him to a place where he would never see the light of day again. And because of her, he was free to roam the earth.

"Cat got your tongue?" Kai cocked his head to the side. "Come on, spill the beans. How'd I get early release? It definitely wasn't good behaviour."

"What was it like?" she wondered, stalling as she tried to think of a way out of her situation. While her friends could technically get into town, they didn't know that, and it was unlikely they would try. Which meant she was on her own with an unconscious Matt. And she was useless. Utterly human. At least, she thought she was. Any magical spark inside of her felt absent, or so very blunted that she couldn't begin to know how to access it.

"What was what like? Killing the family? Easy. And messy. Blood is so hard to get out of clothes." He grinned. "I think if I did it again, I'd plan my outfit better."

"Not that," she dismissed. "The prison world. What was it like?"

"Oh. That?" His gaze turned away again, distant. "Empty."

Bonnie spotted a glint out of the corner of her eye. Matt's gun. While it wasn't far, it also wasn't exactly close. It would take some reaching, but if she could just—

"Had the whole place to myself. The first day or two was great. The world was my oyster. But the silence… That gets to you after a while. And I wasn't so sane to begin with, you know?"

Bonnie swallowed tightly.

"Hey, I never got your name. It would be so rude to kill someone and not even get introductions out of the way first."

"Bonnie," she said, her voice strained.

"Bonnie," he repeated. "Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie… I like that." He grinned. "You know, Bonnie, I think I'd like this conversation a little bit more if I didn't know you were trying to get that gun to shoot me with. Gotta say, it's a little rude."

Bonnie's heart squeezed. "I'm not. I wasn't—"

"Now, don't start this friendship off on the wrong foot. Lying is a sin."

She glared back at him. "So is murder."

"Toe-may-to, toe-mah-to." He flicked his fingers and the gun went skittering away, bouncing across the concrete. "Let's get back to my questions… Who's looking for me?"

Bonnie pressed her lips flat.

Kai grinned. "Stubborn, aren't you?"

"It's one of her better qualities."

Bonnie blinked, her head swiveling to see—Damon. Standing in the middle of the road, some thirty feet away, dressed in all black. The relief that swamped her was unexpected and a little dizzying.

"And a white knight arrives…" Kai's eyes flashed gleefully. "Exciting."

"Less a white knight and more a scout. There's an angry coven of witches coming this way and they were carrying torches. I'm pretty sure they're looking for someone that fits your description. Piss anybody off lately?"

Kai's humor fled and his expression flattened. "Torches, huh? How medieval."

"Witches do like a little flare for the dramatic." Damon half-smiled, but it was pointed and humorless. "If I were you, I think I'd skedaddle."

"What, and miss out on the fun?"

"Hey, if you want a funeral, don't let me stop you. But I'm not interested in being in the middle of some witch-v-siphon face off. So, if you don't mind…" He pointed to Bonnie. "I'll take my friends here and leave you to your civil war re-enactment."

Kai cocked his head. "Are you sure you don't want a nice bag of popcorn and a front row seat?"

"Not much of a popcorn guy." He glanced at her. "Bon, let's go."

She shook her head faintly. "Matt…"

Taking a deep breath, Damon was beside her in a flash. "Of course Donovan's the dead weight." Damon grabbed her dropped phone from the ground in the same gesture he used to haul Matt off the ground and over his shoulder. He stepped in front of her then, acting as a barrier against Kai. Without giving it much thought, Bonnie reached for him, her hand balling up the back of his jacket.

"Well, we'll be going," Damon said. "Good luck with World War Witch."

Kai stared at them, his brow furrowed.

When he didn't say anything, Damon seemed to take it as a sign they could go. He walked toward Elena's car and, unceremoniously, shoved Matt into the back seat. Then, he walked Bonnie around to the passenger side and gave her hip a pat, urging her in. Bonnie's legs felt like jelly. She had to scramble to get the puppy into her lap as she fell into her seat. As she watched Damon circle around to the driver's side, her heart beat loudly in her ears. Just as Damon had pulled the door open, Kai called out—

"Before you go…"

Damon looked back at him.

Bonnie fought the urge to reach out and yank Damon inside the car.

"You wouldn't happen to know a Sheila Bennett, would you?" Kai stared at Damon curiously. "I, uh, I looked her up in the white pages and, wouldn't you know it, couldn't find her."

"Yeah, I know her. You're a few years too late though. Sheila kicked the bucket back in '09."

"Is that right?"

"Yup."

"Any family?" Kai wondered. "I'd like to pass on my belated condolences."

"Unfortunately, she was the last Bennett around here. Feel free to drop by the cemetery and leave some flowers though, I'm sure she'd like that." Climbing into the car, Damon pulled the door shut and reached for the keys still stuck in the ignition.

As Damon backed the car up, Bonnie stared out the windshield at Kai. He wiggled his fingers in farewell and mouthed 'bye Bonnie,' as they sped away.

Bonnie watched his figure grow smaller and smaller in the rear-view mirror. It wasn't until she couldn't see him at all that she felt her entire body slump down in her seat. Every inch of her felt liquid. Exhaustion spread across her in a wave. She vaguely heard Damon making a call to Stefan, letting him know they were on their way to the boarding house and would see him soon. There was a tense beat after he hung up before—

"What the hell were you thinking?" Damon snapped. "He could've killed you!"

Bonnie's eyes skirted toward him, a burst of irritation flooding her at his scolding tone. "I was thinking that you and Stefan were chasing down a potential serial killer and you hadn't called to check in. Not only that, but with the barrier up, Kai could be in town killing any number of innocent people and there was nothing you could do to stop him!"

"So, what, you thought you'd come out here and martyr yourself instead? What the hell, Bonnie?"

"How did you find me? And how did you know the barrier was down?"

"We realized the barrier was done when we got too close to town. After that, I just had to ask myself where Donovan would want to meet you." He rolled his eyes. "Malachi is currently running on maximum magic and you just strolled right into his little spider's web."

She frowned. "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't. You just thought you'd do what you always did. Run in, head first, and just face whatever happens. Well, it isn't like that anymore, Bonnie! This isn't a one-woman show. All right? We need to work as a team." He stared at her, his eyes wide and worried.

"Damon…" Bonnie shook her head. "I wasn't trying to martyr myself. I just thought I could help. Elena and Caroline couldn't pass the barrier. I thought if me and Matt could do something to get Kai out of town…" She sighed. "I just wanted to limit the threat."

"And I love you for it, but now is not the time to be playing fast and loose with your life. You just got back. We don't know what kind of spell this Cass lady spun or how long it lasts. We need to regroup, get rid of Kai, and then find out how permanent this is."

She swallowed tightly, her throat crawling up her throat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… Are we home for good or for a fly-by visit? Because if we're limited on time, we need to say our hellos and goodbyes. And if we aren't… Then we need to figure some stuff out."

Bonnie stared at him, her chest aching. "You think it might not be permanent?"

"I don't know what it is. According to Stefan, we're home, and whatever magic was keeping us somewhere else is tied to the prison world Kai came from… I don't know if by bringing him here they destroyed it or if its just sitting out there, empty and waiting."

"Somewhere else," she murmured. Brow furrowed, she stared down at her lap, her hand absently petting her puppy. "Do you…" She cut herself off and bit the inside of her cheek.

Damon glanced at her. "Go ahead. Ask me."

He made it sound so simple. As if asking wouldn't open the door to answers she wasn't sure she was ready to process. But not knowing felt wrong too. And Bonnie hated feeling like she was missing out on something vital. "Do you… remember?"

"Which part?"

"Any of it…? All of it?"

He swallowed tightly, his throat bobbing. "Yeah."

Bonnie stared at his profile, faintly lit by the blue glow of the car dash. Shadows clung to the angles of his face, but even in the dark his eyes seemed impossibly bright. Her throat tightened, enough that it felt like words were being torn from her vocal cords. "When we… died… where did we—"

A groan echoed from the backseat.

Bonnie shifted around and let out a sigh of relief. "Matt? Can you hear me?"

"Bonnie?" he mumbled.

"Matt, stay still, okay? You hit your head and you're bleeding. But it's okay. We're safe."

"Are we moving?"

"We're going to the boarding house. Just… try to stay awake, all right? You probably have a concussion. Elena can check you out when we get there."

He hummed tiredly.

"Matt, keep your eyes open." She reached for him, shaking his shoulder. "We're almost there."

Matt's eyes blinked open and struggled to stay that way.

Bonnie put her focus on him, even as her mind was still turning her question over in her head, wondering what kind of answer Damon might have given her. Did she want to know? What were her last moments like? And this place they went to… What was it like?

It seemed like both minutes and hours passed before they were pulling up in front of the boarding house.

Caroline was just climbing out of her own car as Damon parked. She hurried toward them, Elena not far behind. As Bonnie climbed from the car, Damon hauled Matt out from the back seat and carried him inside. Elena redirected to follow Damon and Matt.

"Have you not heard of picking up the phone?" Caroline wrapped Bonnie in a bruising hug, only letting go when she realized the dog was being squished between them. "I was driving all over town looking for you. I must've left like ten messages." She shook her head. "What the hell happened?"

"Kai happened." Damon returned from the house and tossed a scowl in Caroline's direction. "What part of 'magic-stealing sociopath' didn't you guys get?"

"The part where the barrier was brought down." Caroline glared right back before softening again as she looked at Bonnie. Fussing, she smoothed her hands over Bonnie's hair. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Bonnie reassured. "Just a little shaken up. I didn't think we'd find him that fast, and I wasn't totally prepared for him to have powers… He took Matt out like it was nothing. He could've killed us, easily, but it felt like he was playing with us, and enjoying it. Making us afraid. Making us squirm." She shuddered. "He asked about Grams by name… I think he wants revenge."

"Since Sheila's dead, you'll do in a pinch." Damon frowned. "Which is why we have to make sure he never gets close to you."

Caroline rubbed Bonnie's arm. "Come on, let's go inside. Cass is waiting. She'll want to know everything that happened." She walked ahead, with Bonnie following not far behind.

Before Bonnie could reach the door, a hand on her elbow made her pause. She turned back to find herself and Damon standing alone in the light spilling out from the front door. Sighing, she said, "I don't need another lecture."

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Damon rubbed his hands together in a rare show of nerves. "You're right, you don't. I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. I know you were trying to help. Truth is, if this barrier hadn't come down, Kai wouldn't be much of a threat. You and Donovan could've handled it just fine. But without the barrier, and no guarantee you had your magic…" He shook his head. "You weren't safe, and I might've panicked and overreacted."

Bonnie stared up at him, her brow furrowed. "Damon… Are you all right?"

He frowned. "Yeah. Why?"

"Because… This is maybe the most un-Damon moment I've ever had with you. You're apologizing for overreacting and you're admitting you were worried about me…" She reached a hand up to press against his forehead. "If you weren't a vampire, I'd think you have a fever."

"Ha, ha," he muttered, catching her hand and drawing it down. His fingers folded around hers gently. "Is it so crazy to believe I care about you?"

Bonnie's chest squeezed. "Thank you… for helping us back there. I don't know what I would've done if you didn't show up."

"I'll always show up."

Her throat tightened. "Damon…"

A squirming in her arm caught her attention then and her gaze fell to the fluffball she was carrying. When she looked back up, she was momentarily stunned by the warm grin Damon was wearing. "There's my girl… Hey Mina…" He scratched her ears and rubbed his thumb along her snout, laughing under his breath when she immediately started gnawing on his fingers.

"Mina," Bonnie repeated.

His gaze met hers, weighty and serious. "Bon… we need to talk."

A mixture of fear and relief swirled around inside her. A tornado of feelings she had no idea how to unravel.

A cleared throat interrupted before she could be swept away.

Bonnie turned to find Jeremy hovering in the doorway. "Cass is asking for you."

Bonnie jerked her head in a nod and stepped back, pivoting toward the door. She hurried inside, past Jeremy, and made her way to the parlour. When Mina squirmed for release, she put her on the floor before turning to the lone occupant standing by the fire. Cassiya Belle radiated power effortlessly. She reminded Bonnie of Grams in that way.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bonnie." Cass held a hand out for Bonnie to shake. "I knew your grandmother some years ago. She was a wonderful woman."

Bonnie crossed the floor to shake her hand. "Grams created the prison world Kai was kept in. Does it still exist?"

Cass smiled. "Right to the point, I see." She nodded. "Kai's prison world is gone. We used the magic it was created from to bring you and Damon back."

"So, Kai… He can't go back."

"Not unless we create a new prison world and, unfortunately, we don't have the power for that. My coven's abilities are depleted. They'll need time before they're able to do a spell of that magnitude. Time we don't have. Stefan made an agreement to get rid of Kai and I expect him to uphold it."

"Or what, you'll send us back?" Damon entered the parlour with a snort, and shrugged when Bonnie turned a censoring glare in his direction.

"Stefan gave us his word." Cass' flinty stare was unforgiving. "I wouldn't recommend finding out what happens when he doesn't follow through."

Damon met her gaze a long beat before humming. "So, we kill him, and life goes back to its usual short-lived harmony."

"It won't be easy." Bonnie frowned. "Not with the amount of power he has from siphoning the magical barrier."

"Then we pull a bait and switch."

"What do you mean?"

"He's expecting a coven of witches to come marching down and fight him head on, right? While he's focused ahead, we take him out from behind."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"Siphon or not, guy can't live without a head." He made a whistling noise and sliced his hand through the air. "Decapitation, the solution to life's most annoying problems."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You can't get that close to him. And even if you could, you'd be putting yourself in the line of fire."

"Well, who else are we going to send? Jeremy the second-rate vampire slayer? Or maybe Donovan the Concussed Deputy."

"We should work as a team." Without giving it much thought, she reached for him. "You said it yourself, we need to regroup and make a plan together."

Damon stared at her searchingly before his gaze fell to where her fingers encircled his wrist. "All right, we'll round up the Scooby Gang and see what they want to do."

"Okay." She let him go, confused by this strange draw she was feeling. Usually, when she and Damon were left alone for any extent of time, they were at each other's throats. Then again, they'd both been resurrected, maybe it would take time to get back to their normal.

Damon left the room, presumably to start rounding up their friends.

"You must be feeling rather overwhelmed," Cass said. "A lot has happened in a few short hours."

Understatement, Bonnie thought. "It's been a busy day."

"If you have a question… you should ask it before the others come back."

Bonnie hesitated, words crowding her mouth in no discernible order, until finally, "Where did I go? When I died, where did you bring me back from?"

"We call them pocket worlds. They exist on another plane. Sheila sent you there to keep you safe. She must have expected you would find yourself in trouble before your time."

"Does everyone go to a pocket world when they die?"

"Not everyone. And they don't all go to the same place. When people talk about heaven and hell, it's always an either or. A pocket world is something else. The life you lived there was real. The people you knew were real. Who you became in that life was just as real and true as you are now." Cass took Bonnie's hands and squeezed gently. "Your grandmother gave you a gift. A chance at something some people can only dream of."

Bonnie couldn't quite compute what Cass was saying to her and yet, the warm burn of tears filled her eyes. "I don't… I don't remember. I don't know what you mean. I…"

"Sometimes our mind protects us, barricades us, from things we aren't ready to face. When the time is right, the memories will come back. And when they do, I want you to reach out. I'll have as many answers for you as I can gather."

Bonnie blinked, and a tear spilled down her cheek. "What if I'm never ready?"

Cass wiped the tear away with a quick swipe of her thumb. "Something tells me you will be."

Voices grew louder and closer then, and Bonnie stepped toward the fire, hiding her face as she quickly scrubbed away any evidence of her tears.

Stefan, Caroline, Elena, Matt, Jeremy, and Damon filled the room.

"Ric's on his way." Elena pulled her sleeves down over her hands and crossed her arms. "So? What's the plan?"

…

The planning seemed to go on forever and they weren't getting anywhere.

Cass didn't want to risk her already depleted coven to wage a fake war with Kai if they couldn't guarantee they would be able to put him down before he could do any damage.

"This guy just absorbed more magic than he's ever had before, and you want to pack your little coven up and high tail it out of here?" Damon's face screwed up irritably. "Shouldn't you stick around and help clean up the mess?"

"Our part of the deal was bringing you and Bonnie back. Payment for that is getting rid of Malachi Parker. That was the deal I struck with Stefan." Cass shook her head. "I won't risk the health and safety of my coven. Malachi is your problem now."

"A problem that would be much easier solved if you and your witchy crew would help us take him out."

"We're already stretched to our limits. Returning two wayward souls to this plane wasn't easy." Cass shrugged. "I wish you and Bonnie the best, Damon. I truly do. But our part here is done." With that, she turned on her heel to leave.

Damon stared after her, his teeth gritted.

The room fell silent as the door closed behind Cass.

Sitting on the couch, an ice pack on his head, Matt offered up his own suggestion. "What about the hunters here in town? They hate anything magical. If we tell them that Kai is some suped up serial killer, they'll be happy to put him down."

"Yeah, and what happens when they find out your entire extended friend group is also supernatural?" Damon shook his head. "That's a whole other basket of crazy we'll have to put down later."

Bonnie watched him pace and worry, his brow knotted. The urge to reach out and soothe him struck her again, and the realization left her unnerved. When had comforting Damon Salvatore ever been her job? Her gaze crossed the room to where Elena was standing behind a chair, her arms resting on the back of it. She looked tired. They all did. Bonnie had been back less than a day and already something had gone wrong. The exhaustion should have been familiar, but it wasn't. It felt suffocating.

"My head's killing me," Matt mumbled before standing. "I need to lay down."

"Here, I'll help you find a room," Elena offered, quickly following him out of the room.

Bonnie could hear her pestering Matt about just drinking a little of her blood to help take the edge off and heal up faster, but Matt wasn't interested. Bonnie listened to the echo of their quiet bickering until they were out of reach. Caroline and Stefan left too, whispering to each other as they made their way to the kitchen. Absently, Bonnie wondered where Mina had wandered off to.

The clink of a glass caught her attention and she looked over to see Damon pouring himself a bourbon. What she would give a tall glass of wine and a bubble bath right now. Instead, she pushed away from the table and crossed the room to take a seat on the lounge.

Damon had moved to the fire, staring down at the flames thoughtfully. "Feels strange, doesn't it?"

"Hm?" Bonnie took him in for a moment, aglow in the flickering firelight.

"Picking up where we left off. Another day, another crisis." His mouth ticked up wryly. "Would've been nice to have a vacation or something."

She smiled faintly. "We get those?"

He looked back at her. "How're you doing? Being back."

Her brow furrowed, confused at his concern. And that it seemed strangely sincere.

"For me, everything's in HD. Sounds, smells, everything. Not to mention the blood thing…"

Bonnie scrunched up her nose. "Ew."

"Haven't had any since that blood bag in the woods." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Feel encouraged to offer up a vein."

Bonnie snorted. "In what universe?"

He stared down at her, his face twisting into something complicated. "Who knows, right? There could be some universe out there where the judgy little witch and the asshole vampire make it work."

Unexpectedly, and for reasons she couldn't understand, Bonnie's chest swelled and her breath stuttered. "Maybe somewhere."

"Bon…" He left the fire and walked toward her. Every step was purposeful, and she felt her heart thump heavier the closer he got.

"Bonnie?"

Blinking, she turned to see Jeremy standing in doorway. "Hey…"

Jeremy glanced at Damon and then back to her. "Can we talk?"

A part of her wanted to say no, not after the discussion they'd had earlier. Another part of her understood that feelings were running high and maybe they'd both been a little aggressive in the stance they took. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

When she looked back, Damon was gone. His absence left the room feeling cooler somehow.

Bonnie stood and rubbed her hands together awkwardly. "About earlier…"

Jeremy shook his head. "I should apologize. I was overwhelmed and I took it out on you. I just… I had a year to think about everything and I guess I snapped."

"Me too." She hugged her arms around herself. "I don't blame you, you know? A year is a long time and I don't expect—"

"I still love you."

She blinked. A weight settling heavy in her stomach. "You…"

"I'll always love you." Jeremy reached for her hands and gripped them tight "Bonnie, if this is real and you're back for good, then… It means something, right? We have to— We should embrace it."

Bonnie stared at him, so utterly hopeful. It should have been romantic. It should have been sweet and exciting. Her heart should be leaping out of her chest at this new chance to start over, to start fresh, to have the love she'd always wanted. Instead, she felt pressured and wrong and off. "Jeremy… I need time."

His face twisted with confusion. "Time?"

"I… I need to think. I just got back, and everything is so big and confusing, and I'm overwhelmed."

"Bonnie… I can help you. We can figure this out together."

As genuine as she was sure he was, the idea of him hovering and helping wasn't a comfort. Instead, it made her anxiety spike even more. From the moment she'd returned, Bonnie had been struggling with this sense of displacement. As if she wasn't really there, or the world around her wasn't real. And this just wasn't helping.

"I don't want help," she said, tugging her hands loose. "I just want time."

His brow furrowed. "To what?"

"To figure out what all of this means!" She stared at him, irritation growing "I don't think it's too much to ask for a little time and space."

A muscle ticked in his jaw as he looked away. "I guess I thought a year away was more than enough."

"It was a year for you. For me, it was…" She shook her head. "I don't know what it was. And that's the part I need to figure out for myself."

"Fine." Rolling his eyes, he turned on his heel to leave, as petulant as ever. "Take all the time you need."

…

Damon told himself to give her privacy. To respect that, in this moment, Bonnie had no idea what they meant to each other and she'd be more than a little pissed if she found out he was listening in on her private conversation with Baby Gilbert. At the same time, he wanted to race down into that parlour and make sure Jeremy knew that whatever star-crossed lovers thing he thought he had going with Bonnie was officially over. Instead, Damon stripped his bed of its musty linens. His entire room had been untouched in a year and it showed. He busied himself with dusting and gathering laundry. He was thinking about breaking out the vacuum on his impossibly expensive rug, something he would never waste cash on back home, when there was a knock at his door. It swung open to reveal a grinning Ric.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in..."

Damon snorted. He crossed the room to hug one of his best friends, but it felt bittersweet. Did Danny remember him? Was Chris at the bar right now, wondering where he was? All those question brought was an ache he wasn't ready to explore.

As Damon leaned back, Ric gripped his shoulders and squeezed. "I wasn't sure she could do it. After all the research we did, it seemed like any hope we had was lost."

"Yeah, well, Carebear has a way of getting even the most impossible of things done."

Alaric's brows arched. "Was that a compliment for Caroline Forbes?"

"She wouldn't believe you if you told her."

He smiled faintly. "You're lucky, you know? If it wasn't for her, you'd still be wherever you were. The rest of us…" He shook his head, his expression dropping. "We gave up, Damon. We failed you. I failed you."

"Don't take it so hard." Damon shrugged. "I don't make a great damsel, and I wasn't asking for a save."

Alaric frowned. "You were okay…? Wherever you were?"

"I was in heaven, brother. A shock, I know. I'm the last person you'd expect to head anywhere great. But by Sheila's witchy, cosmic forces, I was sent somewhere great. And, if I'm being honest, if I had a choice, I would've stayed there."

"You would've stayed dead…?" Ric's brows hiked in surprise. "Permanently."

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I didn't exactly come back to a parade of good cheer. It's day one and we're already fighting the forces of evil." He pointed then. "Any chance that Original Vampirehood of yours might come in handy in taking Kai down?"

Alaric sighed. "Might be the one good thing to come out of it."

"What's the matter, you don't like the perks of being undead?"

Rolling his eyes, Ric slumped down into a wingback chair. "I hate it. Every second for the last year, all I could think about was when I'd get my next sip of blood... When am I gonna screw up and hurt somebody? Why did I come back to life just to be this thing? I used to hunt vampires, and suddenly I was one. In the beginning, searching for a way to bring you back was the only thing that could take my mind off it, but we just kept coming up empty. And honestly, it made it all so much worse…" He shook his head. "So, I gave up. I stopped looking. And you didn't deserve that."

Damon stared at him a long beat before he shook his head. "Chin up, Ric. This isn't a sad reunion where you have to lay all your sins at my feet, all right? I told you, I wasn't exactly suffering in hell-fire over there."

Alaric leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "Then what was it like?"

Damon looked away and licked his lips as he drew in a deep breath. "You know, there's a certain glamour to being a vampire. You see it in those over-budgeted movies about the romance of it all. Extra strong, extra hot, live forever. What's to complain about? And for 150 years, I walked the tightrope of euphoria and dysfunction. But when you really have to pull it all apart and examine it, you let yourself think about what a mundane little human life could actually have been like… Fall in love, get married, pop out a few kids, retire when you're old and grey and oh-so-wrinkly… And it doesn't sound half-bad. Sure, arthritis will probably suck, and your glory days are behind you before you know it, but there's something nice about it, right? And sure, maybe just like the movies, vampires romanticize what they can't have or be, because there's no going back. Once you turn, that's it. Vampire for the rest of your eternal life. Until some jerk with a stake gets a lucky shot in…" His gaze fell to the floor. "But I got it. For a little while. Not long enough, clearly. I was just your average joe, and life was… perfect. Until it was all ripped away. And now, here I am again, back in the trenches."

A tense silence echoed through the room.

Damon offered a faint, empty smile. "Story of my life. As soon as I find something good, someone snatches it away."

"You were happier there…" Alaric stared at him thoughtfully. "You really would've stayed dead."

"Hey, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer on this reunion, but… Yeah." Damon shrugged. "Not that I don't appreciate seeing you guys. The first couple of years without you? They sucked. We missed you like crazy! But… After a while, you move on. You accept your new normal. And then a couple more years pass and, well, you kind of like it. You really like it. Until it's all you want."

Alaric took that in. "Have you told Stefan that?"

"Haven't exactly found the right moment…" Damon wasn't looking forward to that conversation. "Stefan's happy. In his mind, he and Caroline just saved us from some awful void…"

"So, what now? Do you just move on? Or…?"

"Or what, find a way back?" Damon frowned. "I'm still trying to figure that one out."

"Is there a way to make that happen?" Alaric squinted curiously. "Can you go back?"

"I don't know. I was hoping to pick the Head Witch's brain about the specifics."

"But you would, if she told you it was possible?"

A weighty feeling filled Damon's stomach. It seemed so simple in his mind. His life was on track this morning. He was happy. But now he was back. He had his brother and his friends, but he'd also lost just as much, if not more. And being back came with the unending promise of chaos and death. There was a time when he might have enjoyed that. Revelled in his ability to take on whatever was thrown his way. But that was before. He was different now. Wasn't he?

"I don't know."

…

It was nearing midnight when they all gathered in the parlour again.

"Okay, hear me out…" Elena paced the parlour, rubbing her palms together nervously. "If Cass' coven won't help, then we still need a distraction, and we know that Kai is looking for a Bennett…"

"You want to use Bonnie as bait?" Caroline snapped. "Am I the only one who remembers the twelve months it took to get Bonnie home? And now you want to put her life at risk?"

"No, of course not." Elena sighed. "But we don't have a lot of options!"

"Well, using Bonnie isn't one of them. If it was up to me, we'd hide her in a bomb shelter until this whole thing passed."

"I'm not saying we let Kai get close. We just need his focus to be on her so the rest of us can kill him." Elena turned to Bonnie. "You know I would never willingly put you at risk. But he's seen you, he knows you, and he's probably already a little suspicious. If we frame this like you wanting to send him back, then maybe he'll be so focused on you being the next Sheila, that he won't see us coming."

"It could work." Alaric scrubbed a tired hand over his face. "I don't like it. But it also means we put one potential witch in front of him instead of an entire coven. If he somehow managed to get away from us, that's less power for him to drain away."

"What does he need with more power?" Jeremy wondered. "He's got the entire magical barrier running through his veins. That has to last a while, right?"

"That depends on what's he doing." Alaric shrugged. "If he's a siphon then anything he uses he needs to replace. Magic isn't renewable for him. And if he's been trapped for over twenty years, we have no idea what he's doing now that he has the power he's always wanted."

"It's not just about power." Damon sat the end of the table, brow furrowed. "He wants a Bennett for revenge. This is the same guy who killed children he grew up with. His own family. What do you think he'll do to a witch he thinks has the power to put him back in hell? We need to know what he can do before we march anybody out in front of him."

"You weren't saying that when you were offering up the other coven for a distraction," Jeremy muttered.

"None of them put him away in his own purgatory. He might drain a few to make a point, but he won't go out of his way to paint the streets with their blood." Damon leveled a chilling look on the group. "I'm with Caroline on this. Bonnie doesn't set foot near him again."

"Shouldn't I get a say in this?" Bonnie raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed. "After all, it's my life we're talking about."

"No." Damon pulled a face. "Yes."

She stared at him, confused. "Look, all I was going to say is that the last thing I want to do is get anywhere near this guy again. But if this is the only option—"

"We haven't explored all of the options. We're just falling back on our go-to of martyr-the-witch and hope for the best. We can do better than that."

"Damon's right," Stefan said. "But it's also late, so maybe we table this and come back to it in the morning when we've all had a chance to rest."

Caroline nodded. "I agree. Today has already been way too long and Kai can wait until morning."

"Unless he starts picking off innocent people while we're all napping…" Jeremy huffed before leaving the room like a toddler on the verge of a temper-tantrum.

"Well, if we're picking this up in the morning then, I appreciate the hospitality, but I think I'll head home to my own bed." Matt stood from the table to leave.

"I'll drive you," Elena offered.

Alaric followed suit, until there was only Caroline, Stefan, Bonnie and Damon remaining.

"You'll stay, right Bonnie?" Caroline hoped. "Elena made up a room for Matt, I can set you up in there."

Bonnie half-smiled. "I don't know. I thought I might head to Grams… If she's the one who made the prison world, maybe she wrote something about Kai in her grimoire."

Caroline brightened. "Well, then, you're in luck, because we have it."

"You do?"

"I've read it back to front a few thousand times. We let Cass use it to bring you guys home. I made sure we got it back when everything was over…" She stared at Bonnie hopefully. "So, you'll stay? I can grab the grimoire and you can get some light reading in before passing out in the very comfortable guest room."

Bonnie rolled her eyes lightly. "All right, I'll stay."

"Yay." She reached over and tugged Bonnie toward the stairs.

Damon watched her go, smiling faintly at Caroline's idle chit-chat. A nearby clock ticked away, the sound nearly deafening to his ears. A feeling of powerlessness swamped him, and he abruptly stood from his seat, abandoning the parlour for the cellar. He made it through three blood bags before Stefan joined him.

Stefan's broody, knowing face was in full force. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Damon scowled. "Your blood supply is getting low."

"Since I haven't been here in over a year and I didn't have time to stock up before we were unceremoniously banned from town, I'm not surprised…" Stefan crossed his arms and leaned back, staring at him expectantly. "Damon, talk to me. You were gone for a year and now you're back and immediately thrown into chaos. I'll get it if you need some time to readjust."

"It wasn't a year."

"It might not feel like it was—"

"No, Stefan, it doesn't," he snapped. "It feels like twelve years. Because where I went, it was twelve years."

Stefan paused. "What?"

"Twelve years ago, I woke up in a completely different house. I was relatively new to town, worked construction while my girlfriend ran her own herbal shop. Life was peaceful and easy. Fast forward seven years and I bought a bar. Revamped the whole thing, run it with one of my best friends, named it after my dog."

"Your dog," Stefan repeated, sounding dazed.

"Fast forward another two years, and I'm getting married. Luckiest man on earth, right? I married my best friend. Happily ever after. And then, I'm walking through downtown with my wife, just running errands, and the next thing I know, I'm here! Twelve years there is just twelve months here. And don't get me wrong, because I'm happy to be back here and to see you. I really am. But my wife doesn't remember me, Stefan! And now the people who are supposed to be her friends are telling her we should use her as bait, and she might actually agree." He laughed, stunned and angry. "And I'm suddenly remembering all the reasons it was so much better living a completely ordinary life as a human!"

Stefan blinked, and then blinked again. "Your wife… You married Bonnie?"

"Catch up. Of course I did!" Damon rolled his eyes. "We had a whole life there. With bills and a mortgage and date nights. We had friends and Bingo and couples Halloween costumes! It was heaven, Stefan. The most normal, wonderful, human heaven you could even begin to imagine."

"That… is a lot to take in."

"Yeah, you're telling me." Damon took a long drag from a blood bag.

Trying to shake off his shock at Damon's revelation, Stefan changed tactics. Reaching out, he clapped a hand on Damon's shoulder. "Look, the point is, you're here now. And Bonnie… maybe it'll just take time for her to remember."

"Your optimism is annoying," Damon declared, screwing his mouth up irritably. "Let me wallow in my self pity a bit. I promise to be on my best behaviour."

Stefan smiled lightly. "Whatever you two had over there, it can work here too."

"You don't know that." Damon's face fell. "It was different. I was different. I was… better."

"Because you were human?"

"Yes!" He paused. "No… I don't know."

"Damon, human or vampire, you're in control of who you choose to be and what you choose to do… You might be faster and stronger and your feelings might be more intense than usual, but… That doesn't change who you are at your core." He tapped a hand against Damon's chest. "If you want to be that person then… Buy a bar, raise your dog, get your wife to fall in love with you again. You did it once, you can do it again."

It sounded so simple… But Damon knew it wasn't. "The Bonnie that died here, the Bonnie she thinks she is… She loved Jeremy and she hated me."

Stefan's expression softened. "So, show her the truth."

"How do I do that?"

"Well, how'd you get her to fall in love with you the first time?"

Damon frowned. "A lot of time and effort… And the amazing sex probably helped."

Stefan sighed. "Start with the first two."

Damon's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "I don't know, Bonnie's a lot more receptive post-coital."

"And I'm leaving."

Laughing under his breath, Damon followed him to the stairs. "Hey, help me find my dog. I need a cuddle buddy while Bonnie plays the Rachel McAdams to my Channing Tatum."

…

Bonnie watched, amused, as Caroline fluffed pillows on the guest bed while she sat on the bench seat of the window, her family grimoire laid out in front of her. The weathered pages were welcome under her wandering fingers as she flipped through with no idea of where to begin looking. She was sure she had read this thing back to front a few times over since her Grams' had passed and she couldn't remember a single passage about a siphon trapped in a prison world. But then, she had skimmed things sometimes when it wasn't pertinent to the latest monster of the week.

"Okay. Bed officially made," Caroline declared. "Do you need anything else? A snack? Some water? I can make a pot of tea."

"Actually, tea sounds great." Bonnie thumbed through a few pages. "And a little of Miss Cora's honey."

"Miss Cora…?" Caroline shook her head. "Is that a brand? I don't recognize it."

"No, it's…" Bonnie paused and shook her head. "I don't know what it is… Maybe it is a brand. Or maybe I'm more tired than I thought."

"Are you sure you don't want something to eat? All you've had was dinner and that was forever ago. I could make some toast."

Bonnie smiled faintly. "Sure, toast would be good."

"Okay." Caroline stared at her a moment. "I'm really glad you're home."

"Yeah, me too."

Lingering, Caroline eventually gave in and crossed the room to join her on the window. "Bonnie… I know you don't want to talk about it yet… I know you don't really remember anything and, I don't know, maybe that's a blessing. But if you do remember, or if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"I know, Care."

"I just want to help you, anyway I can."

"You already have." Bonnie reached out and gripped Caroline's hand, squeezing it gently. "You brought me back. And that means so much to me."

Blinking back tears, Caroline forced a smile. "Not fast enough."

"That you did it at all is what matters."

"Bonnie… Of course I did! I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Bonnie nodded faintly. "I know."

"Do you?" Caroline stared at her searchingly. "'Cause earlier, when Elena was saying you should be the bait, you sounded like you agreed with her…"

"I just want to stop Kai. And if that means I go in as a distraction to stop him before he hurts anybody, then—"

"Elena was wrong."

Bonnie frowned.

"Look, our first instinct should not be to put someone else in danger. I don't care if it's easier. We'll find a way to put Kai down without putting you at risk. Okay?"

"Yeah." Bonnie nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." Caroline squeezed her hand one last time and stood. "I'm gonna grab that tea and toast. I'll see if Stefan has any honey stashed somewhere."

"Thanks."

As the door closed behind Caroline, Bonnie stared at the floor a long moment, lost in her own muddied feelings. She wanted to believe Caroline that they would find a solution for Kai that wouldn't put her at risk, but a part of Bonnie had already accepted that before this was over, she and Kai would see each other again, and it wouldn't be friendly.

…

When Damon and Stefan entered the kitchen, it was to find Caroline rifling through every cupboard.

Damon cast a look around before settling on the toast on the counter. "Your midnight snack is getting cold, Carebear."

She huffed. "It's not mine. It's for Bonnie." She shoved a cupboard closed and turned to Stefan. "Is there any honey in this house? Would you have any in the cellar? I've looked everywhere. I'm already feeding her freezer-burnt toast; the least I can do is get her the honey she wanted."

Stefan's brows furrowed. "I'm not sure… I don't think so, but there could be."

Damon tipped his head. "Bonnie asked for honey?"

"Yeah. A specific brand— Miss Cora or something. Anyway, I'd settle for generic."

"I don't think Bonnie will disown you if you can't find honey." Stefan rubbed Caroline's arms soothingly. "What about homemade jam? I think we have apricot somewhere."

Damon hummed. "Skip the apricot, she won't like it. The skin gives it a weird texture." Damon swept past them, scooped up the tea and toast, and walked backwards toward the swinging door. "Why don't you two get some sleep and we can catch up in the morning? I'll drop this off with Bon-Bon on my way."

Caroline frowned. "What? But—"

"Goodnight, Damon," Stefan said, smiling knowingly.

He grinned at them, waggled his eyebrows, and was gone before Caroline could ask anymore questions. In a flash, he was up the stairs and hovering in front of the door to Bonnie's temporary room. He took a second to compose himself before he knocked on the door with a quick rap of his knuckles and then opened it, stepping inside without waiting for Bonnie's expected 'come in.'

"I come bearing gifts."

Startled, Bonnie looked up from the grimoire and blinked at him in surprise. "Where's Caroline?"

"Cleaning up her scavenger hunt downstairs. She said you wanted honey… Miss Cora's honey."

"Yeah…" Her brow furrowed. "I don't know why I said that. I don't even know where that's from."

Damon hummed before crossing the room. He took a seat on the window bench and passed her the plate and teacup. "Was the honey for the toast or the tea?"

Bonnie accepted them. "The tea." She put the toast aside and breathed in the scent of her tea, her eyes falling closed.

"The fresh stuff is better." Damon drummed his fingers on his knees. "Hey, does Mystic Falls have a shop for that? You know, herbal medicines, homemade remedies. A menagerie of naturopathics."

"I'm not sure… I don't think so."

"Could be a good little niche market, don't you think? Small town like this. You open the one and only shop and you corner the client base."

Bonnie sipped at her tea and shrugged. "I guess."

"And candles. Those are always a big seller."

"Especially honey and sage." She paused, blinked, and then shook her head.

A slow grin pulled at Damon's mouth. "So…" Damon stole a slice of her toast and bit off the corner; it was dry and lukewarm. "Your grimoire give you any insight into Malachi?"

"Hm? Oh, uh…" She ran a fond hand over the book. "Not really. But I don't know if she'd put it in here… Grams kept journals too. I think I might drop by her house in the morning, see what I can find."

"Sounds good. I'll join you."

"What? Why?" She stared at him a beat and then frowned. Plucking the toast from his hand, she put it back on her plate. "You don't need to babysit me, Damon. I can protect myself."

"Can you? Did I miss your witchy return?"

She pursed her lips. "No, but that doesn't make me helpless."

"Not helpless, but definitely vulnerable." He stared at her searchingly. "Have you tried?"

"Tried what?"

He waved his finger around and whistled. "Light some candles, float some feathers, turn some water into wine."

"That last one was Jesus, and no."

"Why not?"

"Because…" She snapped the grimoire closed and stood from the bench seat irritably. "Isn't it getting past your bedtime?"

"I'm undead, Bon-Bon. With the right amount of blood, I could skip sleeping entirely." He stared at her expectantly. "Are you scared?"

She scoffed. "Of course not."

"Then why not give it a whirl? If you need a candle, I'm sure I can dig one out from somewhere. Can't guarantee it'll be your flavor of choice, but it'll have a wick."

"I don't need a candle."

"No?" He eyed the bed. "I don't know if the pillows are down or not, but if you want to go with feathers…"

"Damon, stop."

"I guess tea to wine isn't too much of a stretch…"

She glared.

"All right, fine." He held his hands up in surrender. "You're right. You should definitely go to war with a magical serial killer while you're utterly human and have no ability to hit him with a quick aneurysm spell if things get out of hand. Rely solely on his inability to empathize with anybody to keep your head on your shoulders. It's a solid plan."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Are you seriously trying to use reverse psychology on me?"

"Something like that, yeah." He grinned. "You're stubborn, Bon. It's one of your best qualities. But it doesn't make for an easy sell."

"I don't need to be sold. I know I need my magic back. I'm just not ready to…"

"To what? Fail?"

"Yes! All right? Is that what you want to hear? I'm scared I'll fail. That the only tie I have left to Grams, to my family, is gone and now I'm useless." Tears brimmed in her eyes. "When I died, I was the anchor, and now that I'm back, I don't know what I am."

"You're whoever you want to be."

She scoffed.

"I'm serious." He reached for her, their fingers tangling, and gave her hands a gentle shake. "Magic or no magic, you're Bonnie Bennett. Nobody and nothing can take that away from you."

Her mouth trembled. "Being a witch is who I am. If I try and I can't do it… If that's gone forever…" A loose tear trailed down her cheek. "I don't know what I'd do."

"Does that really sound so bad?"

Her brow furrowed.

"A human life… away from all this. No death and mayhem. No chaos around every corner. Just a regular life with friends and family you never have to worry about dying in some freak attack by some new enemy…" He cupped her face gently between his hands, his thumbs gently gliding across the hills of her cheeks. "Freedom, Bonnie. Unshackled from whatever expectations life had for you."

"You really believe that?" Her voice was soft and reverent— for a moment, they were suspended in a dreamy sense of hope and peace. The precipice of something beautiful hung just within reach. But then, she blinked and shook her head. "You?" She snorted. "Eternal stud, Damon Salvatore."

Damon's hands fell from her, hanging loose and empty at his sides. "Who knows, maybe I'd look good with a few wrinkles."

"A regular silver fox." She smiled, but it quickly dimmed. "But that's not who we are… You're a vampire. You'll never age. And I… At best, I'm a witch."

The reality of those words hit him hard. Suddenly, he remembered that it wasn't just a matter of Bonnie remembering. It wasn't even a matter of them running away from whatever responsibility they owed to a town that had brought them nothing but heartbreak. It was the very simple fact that Bonnie was alive. Really and truly alive. And Damon… wasn't.

"Damon?" Bonnie prodded. "Are you okay?"

"Hm? Yeah. Sure." He turned away, a clawing ache filling his chest. "It's getting late. You should get some sleep. I'll need you bright eyed and bushy tailed for our little trip to Sheila's in the morning."

She stared up at him, frowning uncertainly. "You seriously don't need to come with me."

"There's a serial killer on the loose. Where else should I be?"

Her brow furrowed, perplexed by him and his behaviour. But he didn't feel like explaining himself, not now. Not when he was struggling to keep it together. So, he didn't. Instead, he smiled, quiet and soft. "Sweet dreams, Bon-Bon."

A faint, "goodnight" followed him out.

After a short pause in the hallway, Damon strode past his bedroom toward the stairs. It wasn't long before he was climbing into Stefan's car and careening away from the boarding house. Caroline had let slip what hotel they were staying in and the drive seemed to go by in a flash. It felt like mere seconds before Damon was knocking on a door, panic and a complete lack of patience making him anxious.

The door swung open and Cass smiled back at him knowingly. "I wondered how long it would take."

Damon gritted his teeth before blurting, unceremoniously, "How do we go back?"

Cass stepped back from the door and nodded her head. "Come in. I think we have a lot to discuss."

tbc

author's note: i've edited this like four times. it's over 17k words so there's a high chance i screwed up some wording/spelling somewhere but i'm tired and i feel like if i don't just post it, it will sit in my drafts for entirely too long. so if you spot a mistake, please let me know and i will correct it as soon as i'm able. thank you ahead of time!

this was a very tricky chapter to write because i was trying to find a balance between damon's old personality and his new personality. essentially, in returning, both of them are swamped with their old insecurities. for damon, part of that is rooted in the uncertainty of whether bonnie can love him as a vampire, especially if she doesn't remember who he became and grew into in their pocket world. but it's also partly due to residual feelings right before he died. for all of damon's bravado, he's always been insecure about loving people who either don't love him back or chose someone else over him. now his wife has forgotten him and to her memory, the last man she loved was jeremy. at the same time, damon isn't wholly that man, and so we see a genuinely good man who's made serious strides in the way he thinks and the choices he makes. i tried to highlight that in moments like when he apologizes to bonnie for snapping at her after the kai event, and again when he first tells bonnie no, she doesn't get to weigh in on if she'll face off against kai, but then changes it to a yes because she's her own person and she absolutely has every right to make her own choices. damon wants to protect her without trampling on her and also recognizes that he has to be careful in his approach because she doesn't remember him in his entirety and he doesn't want her to push him away.

with bonnie, she's struggling with her own insecurities. when bonnie died, she absolutely had reached a point of acceptance in her martyrdom. jeremy isn't wrong when he tells her that she's too quick to sacrifice herself, but he also refuses to acknowledge that elena plays a big part in that. there's also clearly a part of bonnie that doesn't feel like she fits here and doesn't feel comfortable with jeremy and his feelings. it's different with damon and she doesn't understand why. that's going to be something she explores more next chapter.

also, MINA! i had so many people ask that when they return, mina tag along, and that was always, always the plan. mina is their family and she had to come along.

finally, i considered also splitting this into two chapters but decided i wanted to get it all up. i'm working on the next chapter, so hopefully it won't be as long of a wait.

thank you for your continued patience with my terrible posting schedule.

thanks so much for reading. please leave a review!
- Lee | Fina