The Limit of a Single Jutsu

My story writing fervor of sorts had wore off… getting tired, and not having air conditioner is really making me sad… I might stop with the daily updates sometime soon, but the story is coming to a close anyway so I'll try to hold out for… let's see… current chapter, then Pein and Konan, then Zetsu and Obito, and then epilogue… so three more chapters of this story after the current one. Anyways, you guys don't care about any of that boring stuff, so new chapter! Sorry if it's short, I had to leave my computer for a lot of time because a black cat was sitting on the keyboard, and then I got surrounded by black cats with pitchforks, and then [Writer is burned alive by angry readers]

—

"Jiraiya ero-sensei, don't you think it was strange that Itachi just snapped one day and massacred the entire Uchiha clan?" Naruto asked. "I mean, the Uchiha were weird assholes, but Itachi was always nice to me when he was guarding me as an ANBU… it doesn't make sense that a pacifist like him just went murder happy and sliced everybody to death. Isn't it also strange that one person took down the entire Uchiha clan?" Naruto had had this thought for a long time at this point, as the Itachi he knew was quite nice to him and didn't seem very cuckoo.

Jiraiya frowned. "I admit it is strange, I had met Itachi once and he seemed quite the nice boy, but spending time in ANBU isn't exactly good for one's mental state." Jiraiya didn't really think much of it; thinking was annoying and difficult, and most definitely, to quote the Nara, extremely troublesome. He was the one who rushed in and killed whoever needed to be killed while the other people made the plans and all that nonsense; it was nonsense, truly; winning by superior firepower is obviously the way to go and the approach that will always win.

Naruto just frowned and lied down on the ground. "Anyways, I'm pretty sure I know how to lure Itachi over, he was always a Pocky addict after all… how about chakra-flavored Pocky adds? That'll definitely attract his attention, we just need to make a sign of sorts and actually develop chakra Pocky… Ah! Pocky chakra pills! I am a genius!" He immediately got to work on a stick of Pocky he produced from a food storage seal he had; Jiraiya was confused on why Naruto had a stick of Pocky with him.

—

Itachi was walking through the town with Kisame at his side, getting rather strange looks from shopkeepers who all moved to get their children away from the weird two strangers. Itachi stopped and looked at a flyer taped to one of the large posts on the side of the road. It said "Chakra Pocky! You can buy this all knew flavor at Tanzaku Gai!" Itachi looked at the add, then looked at Kisame. Kisame shrugged in response while Samehada, who was still bandaged up, made several happy noises from inside its wrappings; how the hell did the sword see the poster when it was covered in bandages?

"We will look for this new Pocky," Itachi said flatly. "I am sure that Leader-same would love to have some and Samehada would like the chakra as well." Kisama groaned; another chase for another rare flavor of Pocky; Leader-sama and Itachi were both Pocky addicts and needed to go into a rather long rehabilitation. There was plenty of help that was available for drug addicts, but Kisame wasn't sure that anyone would take the Pocky addicts in, considering that one of them was a large blue sentient shark sword, another was an S-ranked criminal, one of the two Uchiha left alive and someone who massacred his entire clan, and finally, a person with a God complex who had power that comparatively to the average shinobi was completely godlike.

—

Naruto was just waiting for the telltale signs of Akatsuki, which were rather large black cloaks with red clouds on them. He was soon rewarded with the sight of an Uchiha wearing one of the said cloaks along with a strange blue skinned man wearing the same cloak with a large sword on his back; score, Itachi and Kisame!

Itachi walked up. "I have heard that people are selling chakra Pocky in the area, would you know where they are selling it?" Naruto blinked; his method had worked! Ero-sennin had lost the bet, and he would be a rich man tomorrow, assuming he survived this encounter. Jiraiya was busy writing something in one of the back rooms.

Naruto smiled in response. "These boxes are similar to shinobi chakra pills in that they give you a burst of chakra when you eat them, and in fact, it bursts in your mouth, and it gives quite a strange sensation. Hope you enjoy! The price is 5 ryō(50 cents) for a box." Itachi remained expressionless but handed over a large wad of bills, which Naruto counted. It was quite a lot of money for quite a lot of Pocky... Naruto didn't understand why anyone would waste their money on Pocky when they could just buy the true food of the gods, the food known as ramen! What was sad about Tsunade was that Naruto could no longer eat pork ramen in front of Tonton...

He then handed Itachi several crates of chakra Pocky. They had made actual chakra Pocky in the case that anyone other than Itachi and Kisame came by, and they had spent hours on improving the taste. Naruto had also created a sort of chakra Pocky that he called Youkai Chakra Pocky, made from Kurama's chakra, and it would generally only work for Jinchuuriki; if you were anyone else, you would get killed from the rather acidic chakra, but Naruto supposed it would be an excellent assassination tool to be used on the people who enjoyed exotic Pocky but couldn't recognize Youkai chakra, generally was a lot more potent and much more easily noticed.

Itachi stared at the crates for a second, before he took a single box and sealed the rest of them in the scroll. Naruto was rather interested; that was a lot of Pocky, and Naruto wondered how fast Itachi would eat through the several crates; Naruto would bet less than five days; Itachi ate Pocky faster than the speed that Naruto ate ramen if he had an infinitely large stomach. When one would say that, it would also be needed to take into consideration that Naruto ate ramen faster than five Akimichi combined, so...

"Anyway, Uchiha Itachi…" Naruto said, causing Itachi to stiffen up slightly. "It's really inconvenient and everything, but I have to fight you or something, cause you're part of the Akatsuki or something… So you can get Jiraiya, who's in the back… JIRAIYA! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, THEY'RE HERE! And I get Kisame! Does that sound fun?" He asked, clapping his hands together at the end and weirdly smiling at Itachi and his partner.

"So, yeah… Have fun Itachi, Jiraiya is quite fun to fight against… So let's go fish boy!" Yelled Naruto, directing the end part towards the half man half fish, skipping over to a side door that led to a larger area that was clear of any civilians… didn't want any casualties of course, that would obviously be terrible…

—

"Kisame-san, were you born this way or did you gain blue skin somehow?" Asked Naruto, somehow completely straight faced. Kisame looked at him weirdly.

"What?" Complained Naruto. "It's a legitimate question, permanent skin color changes are pretty cool, especially when it is to a color that you don't see very often… Is it an advanced Henge jutsu of sorts, I've seen all sorts of weird jutsu from weird people like you… How many people do I know other than you are half man half fish?" He started counting on his fingers. "Zero… yeah just zero."

Kisame snorted. "I like you kid," he said, swinging Samehada off his back, bandages unraveling off of it. "So I'll give you a nice battle, all out, huh? Samehada likes your chakra… didn't know that fox meat tasted good, Samehada says so…"

—

Naruto panted, Samehada on the ground near Kisame but also having a case of chakra exhaustion… who knew that big blue shark swords could get a case of chakra exhaustion? Kisame was lying on the ground, on his back, just like Deidara had at the end.

"So you win, eh, brat? I guess I'm out of practice… heh. What a terrible way to die for Hoshigaki Kisame, the Daimyo Killer, taken down by a mere brat," Kisame mumbled, looking up at the sky. "Don't bury me or anything, just drop me into the sea, the sharks will no what to do with me, eh? Anyway, Samehada likes you, make sure to feed it extra Chakra Pocky… treat it well, the sword's had a hard time…"

"Any other last requests?" Asked Naruto respectfully, still out of breath from repeated use of the Rasengan and keeping the Flowing Henge jutsu up the entire time… damn chakra absorbing swords.

Kisame sighed. "Not really, that's all I have left… Too bad I couldn't see the word without lies…"

—

Naruto slowly walked over to where Itachi was in his Susanoo(In Japanese means completely broken instant win) and Jiraiya was dodging the Totsuka Blade every time Itachi swung it around. Jiraiya was the first of the two to notice him.

"You got Kisame, Naruto?" Asked Jiraiya, panting heavily, dodging another slash from the Susanoo.

Naruto nodded, then turning to Itachi. "Want to come back to Konoha?" At that, Jiraiya's jaw drilled right into the ground and busted through the other side of the planet.

—Omake cause I'm too lazy to write that happens to be longer than the actual chapter—

—Itachi and Pocky—

Itachi was currently in a candy store buying all the Pocky he could get his hands on… and that was saying a lot of Pocky, as in bags and crates, all filled with smalls boxes of the many flavors of Pocky. Itachi had been introduced to the wonders of Pocky a long time ago by a ANBU member who was on his squad, and he had gotten addicted a long time ago… it was rumored while Itachi put Sasuke in the Tsukuyomi, Itachi was just sitting there calmly eating his favorite snack like normal… his chewing noises practiced and quiet because he always brought a box or three hundred on his missions to eat while his squad mates suffered and ate normal mission rations.

Kisame groaned at the amount of Pocky Itachi was attempting to seal into several scrolls. "Seriously, Itachi, you're wasting all our mission funds on pocky… Leader-sama isn't going to be happy with us…" Kisame thought spending all of your money on candy was rather a waste, especially considering that they were both S-rank criminals of one of the most powerful criminal organizations in the Elemental Nations… was it technically criminal if it was run by the leader of Amegakure? That was most definitely food for thought.

Itachi silenced Kisame with a glare. "Pocky is not a waste of money, Leader-sama would understand…"

Kisame snorted. "There is no way that Leader-sama eats Pocky…" There was absolutely no way that the stoic Leader of the Akatsuki would eat something like Pocky; after all, he was so strict about the missions, there was no way that he actually ate any sort of candy. That would most definitely be a sight to see.

—

Nagato looked up from a box of Pocky he was eating and sneezed. "Someone must be talking about me again…" He then stared at the box of Pocky. "I will get back to you, my sweet… if only Yahiko was alive to try the wonders known as Pocky."

—

Meanwhile, Yahiko was watching from the Pure Land. "I really wish I could try some candy right now, Nagato," he said with a sad smile on his face. "But the only thing they serve here is fancy food!" He yelled, literally tearing his hair out. "What I would give for something sweet…" (A/N: Ha just use Rinne Tensei on Yahiko and then set a delayed Rinne Tensei on the Rinnegan for after he dies, if Madara can do it with Izanagi and Sharingan, Nagato should be able to do it with Rinne Tensei and Rinnegan)

—

"No, Leader-Same loves Pocky ever since I introduced it to him…" Itachi said, thinking about all the types of Pocky. "I have a personal mission to find every special edition of Pocky I can find and any rare foreign flavors… Leader-Samna has given me extra funds to collect as many types of Pocky as I can. I have found all sorts of foreign flavors to taste." That was most definitely an understatement; who the hell ate toilet seat Pocky, or worst of all, synthetic meat flavored Pocky? That stuff was literally asparagus Pocky but even worse.

Kisame just gaped at him. "Leader-sama actually eats Pocky?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Everyone loves Pocky, there is nobody who doesn't," said Itachi. "There exists nothing alive that does not love the taste of Pocky, as it is the food of the gods, the food of all." After all, Pocky was truly delicious.

—

Naruto stomped the ground angrily. "Someone must have said that some food was better than ramen! RAMEN IS SUPERIOR! You must praise the Ramen, for it is what has given birth to this universe, it is the food that Gods were raised on, the food that is in the sacred texts!"

—

Nagato sneezed. "Someone must be talking about a god… Must get back to eating my Pocky… The food that I, a God, was raised on…"

—

While Kisame looked at Itachi with a weird expression, he suddenly noticed that Itachi was calmly feeding Samehada pieces of Pocky and Samehada was devouring box after box worth's of Pocky. Kisame reached over his shoulder, expecting it all to be a genjutsu and Samehada was still on his back, but it indeed seems Samehada was just eating Pocky…

"Not you too, Samehada," Kisame groaned. "We already have one Pocky addict here, and that's more than enough for me…" Samehada made some disapproving noises at Kisame; who would dare insult its favorite food, the wonderful ambrosia known as Pocky?

"Just try some Pocky, Kisame," said Itachi, holding up a box. "Shark-flavored Pocky, a collector's edition that's hard to get your hands on… I bought the entire stock of the shop that had it, so I have plenty left. I'm pretty sure there's a special variety called Human Shark Pocky, which is supposed to taste like the shark man from that horror movie…" Kisame fainted at the sight of Shark-flavored Pocky and also the thought of Human Shark Pocky. Itachi just, as always, continued on eating his Pocky. He sighed. "I love how Kisame doesn't like Pocky, it just means all the more for me… I'm not splitting it three ways, splitting it two ways is already enough… After all, Pocky is the food of the gods."

Kisame got back up, groaning. "I will never understand what is up with you, Samehada, and Pocky… very strange, if you ask me. I think it's a conspiracy theory."

—

Phew, sorry about the short chapter today, there were a lot of black cats surrounding the charging ports in my house, so I had to go out to buy some cables, but then black cats surrounded my house, so I had to avoid all of them, and then a black cat was running the tech store I usually go to, so I had to find another one and then go there, and then take the long way home because of all the black cats on the road on my way home, and then I got ambushed by a boss black cat, so I had to take my computer and flee to a safe house until all the cats left my house… [Writer is hung from a flagpole with words "LAZY" written on forehead by angry readers]

And no, I am not a Pocky addict… had it less than twenty times my entire life, less than a box each time, so don't call me a Pocky addict!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter, trying desperately to keep up with those daily updates, thanks, and bye!

[Gets back to writing essay for English Class, why can't I have irresponsible teachers?]