At the appointed hour, Harry helped Draco from bed and ran his shower. He refused to wear the suit he'd arrived in. It was showy and irrelevant to what he was feeling now. He had no wish to shine in front of Harry's family, but to get through the next hour as easily as possible. He wanted to be a shadow on the wall, and didn't care if anyone spoke to him at all. He counted on them not to.
There was a point during the shower, when Harry waited outside the door. He listened to the spray. He imagined testing his luck, and joining Draco. Would that ruin everything? He didn't even want sex. He just thought it would be a nice intro to each others bodies and the intimacy they were trying to develop. Draco was weak and looked like he need the wall to stand up. He only wanted to be his support. And maybe test drive that beautiful head of white hair with a little shampoo. He knew he was channeling his inner sixteen year old girl, but hey, if you find yourself the owner of a brand new Masorati, why not take it for a spin? He was going to teach this guy to have fun again, if nothing else.
His jeans were too short for Draco, so a pair had to be borrowed from James, which were too big. They fastened them as tightly as possible with a belt and used a plain T-shirt to hide the way they bunched at his hips. He was thinner and lighter than two days ago, and wore his ordeal on the surface of his skin. Anyone looking at him, could tell that he wasn't all right, and Harry talked him into letting that be okay.
"Just let go. Of everything. For one hour." He kissed Draco's hand. "Trust our magic. Don't give a shit about anything. Don't fight it. I think that's what all of this is about. So you made a mistake. We don't know that it's not the most defining step of transformation, you'll ever take. You're going to make choices from here on out, that you wouldn't make if you hadn't gone through all that. So maybe it wasn't the mistake that we're so quick to judge. Just be willing to let everyone see the real you. Stop hiding. We've all done things we're not proud of. The shame is the real problem. They're just chains. Otherwise, life goes on."
Draco allowed himself to be presented before Harry's relatives under one condition. "Don't leave my side for any reason."
"You got it."
When called forth, the two entered and stood in the center of the room. Tables had been removed to make more space. Harry waved to three people in the rear, two blokes and a girl standing, who waved enthusiastically back. He pointed at Draco and mouthed the words, 'This is him!' He received three pairs of thumbs-up and an outburst of smiles and soft claps from his relatives.
Draco saw that even though the lights were up, lit candles stood in strategic position. Various spells were strewn about the carpet, in pebble runes and on paper. At first glance, the smoky gray carpet appeared to be scorched with a circular design, but closer inspection revealed an overlapping diagram of burnt carbon. Harry understood that it was a sigil collecting magic from everyone in the room and directing it to the intentions of the ceremony.
It appointed places for them to stand. The further it extended, it looked like a mandala with a very deliberate straight path leading to the front of the room.
Beside him, Draco summoned the courage to return the stares of those around him. When they saw the blue of his eyes, their relief flowed back to him. Some were smiling, simply unable to suppress momentous interpretations of this moment. He thought he saw pity on others' faces, and still empathetic grief behind those. There was his parents among them. There was that first doctor, whom Harry said had failed to see the device. Doctor Hayatt. There were so many people he didn't know. He didn't know why they were looking at him as if they knew him. Neither he nor Harry knew they'd all seen the documentaries.
He was too overwhelmed to care. Let any of them survive pushing a monstrous thing from their bodies after two days of bloated disfigurement. Let them survive the regret and loss for five years, and see how well they handled being the center of attention because of it. Screw them and their perfect, mistake-free decisions.
Not really, but he had to let himself vent his defensive instincts. Better out than in. He felt sick and wanted to turn back.
Something must've given him away because Harry grasped his hand and wouldn't let go. Severus made the announcements that let them know the ceremony had begun.
But before he spoke, he lifted his cloak away, revealing an outline of form and fitness, complimented by the cut of his dark suit. Behind him, Elan looked on with pride and bold appreciation. A coat of finer quality hugged Severus's waist and hips, adding a genteel quality to its length just above his calves. At his throat, an obsidian pin held the fashionable precursor of an ascot together. The white of his shirt peaked out strategically from all that black, advertising a priestly authority that made it clear he was the most appropriate person in the room for mediating between the spirit world and this one. To Elan, he was just sexy.
"This is Harry James Potter and Draco Lucius Malfoy. Their marriage contract allows them to keep their names, for each house brings a legacy that will not compete with the other. Their magic is not only compatible, but symbiotic. They stand before you, in need of your blessings and your magic. Every one of you has agreed to give it by remaining here and bearing witness to the events of the next hour. You will all get to play an active part in their union."
A sense of purpose lifted like perfume throughout the room. Being filled with magic, every onlooker projected their opinions through their magic without meaning to. The sigil on the floor amplified it, and began pulsing with intermittent shades of blue light, in much the same manner as the ring Lily used to bring Severus through. Everyone looked down at their feet and gasped, for the carpet appeared to reflect an inverted reality. One not entirely clear, but took stronger form the more Severus spoke, and the more they all reacted.
"Draco comes to this family after tremendous hardship. Out of respect for his privacy, you are given to know only, that five years ago, he lost a child. Its existence is in direct violation of the marriage contract he holds with Harry, and his grief will not let their bond proceed without healing that darkness in his heart. We are here now, to help him put his grief to rest. Some of you will be called forth. Your magic aligns with his, in particular, in ways that will become apparent. Please step forward when I call you and I shall tell you where to stand, with the exception of Hazel Olivia Evans."
It took some of them a minute to realize he was speaking of Gamy. "Harry is your grandson and you are one of the oldest living authorities on your side of the family. This is your home. James Potter, who stands in as Head of House for his line, would you escort your mother-in-law to this chair? It represents the authority of her bloodline. You represent the authority over yours."
He asked James and Lily to stand directly behind Harry and Draco, and turned to the Malfoys.
"Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, let the full spectrum of your magical and biological heritage record that you release your son, Draco, from hearth, home, and obligations, to ally his magic with Harry. That relationship will be primary in their lives and take precedence over all others. If you are in full agreement, take your place to the left of the Potters."
Harry looked at Draco. It was as if Severus was giving them another shot at a wedding. He kinda liked it.
"Because of the special nature of Draco's loss, I ask now that every mother, not already assigned a spot, congregate to the front of the assembly. Make an inner circle around everyone. This includes anyone who may have lost a child, or would in some way function in that capacity, if circumstances had allowed you to do so. Worded in this manner because life is not black and white. Mothers are not always in the form that society acknowledges."
People shifted to let others organize around them. It was such an unusual request, that everyone waited to see who would present themselves. The women who showed up, were young and older. Two of them were pregnant, and Harry thought this was what Severus was implying. But Severus waited, eyeing the row of women, dissatisfied. Some of them twitched uncomfortably under his gaze.
He lifted his chin and spoke into the air, "Let me rephrase the request. Let all whose womb has held a child, step forward."
When no one else did, they all began looking at each other. Nervous laughter infected others.
"The circle is not complete. There's someone missing." He paused. "If you come forward, you will be able to help Draco in ways that no one else here could."
He obviously had someone in mind.
"Very well."
He left off just as Remus's foot crossed the mark that put him alongside the women. All eyes turned to Remus.
He held out his hands in defense. "I wasn't sure if you meant me."
"Who else on Earth would I mean?"
"I don't know everyone's business! If you'd only warned me, or better, just say, 'Remus, get up here.' You're the one being all cryptic about everything."
"I was giving you a choice of privacy!"
"Well, I'd love to stand in with these ladies." He turned to everyone. "For those of you who don't know, Emerald is my birth-daughter, and I am not ashamed of it." He gestured to her, standing by Sirius. She blushed and shifted from foot to foot.
"That wasn't always my policy, but I'm older and wiser, and certainly thrilled about it now."
When relieved laughter died down, Severus scowled. "Get. Back. In the circle."
The flow of the ceremony resumed. More guests were asked to stand in key places.
"I call to the front of the circle, Petunia Dursley and her son Dudley."
No one was more surprised than Petunia, who had resigned herself to the back of the group. Dudley found her and pulled her forward. "It's for Harry, Mum."
She protested all the way. When she got to the front, she told Severus, "I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm not magic."
He informed her gently, "Those genes may be recessive in you, but you have more than you think. The primary source of magic this evening, will be love. Not only do you love him, but you are a mother, and Draco needs that wisdom to guide him to his decision. His magic will seek to know what you know."
This appeared to put her at ease. She stood a little straighter next to Dudley.
Beside Harry, Draco swayed. Harry took his arm and hoped things would go a little faster.
"Lastly, I call Emerald Lupin Black, to come stand between myself and the couple."
She grabbed her dad's arm and looked as though she'd just won a pageant. "Me?"
Remus twisted his head to Severus. "Her?"
"You have all been appointed roles. Hers will become evident. She is a guardian. And Draco will need a guardian. He is about to take a journey into his contract. Elan and I have determined that her abilities will prove most useful."
Sirius spoke up. "Not to bum everyone out or anything, I'm all for this, I really am. But what are we doing? This is all starting to sound a little like Dungeons and Dragons to me. I don't mind slaying dragons, but don't get my baby girl involved."
Severus grimaced. "The dragons are make-believe. And not one will be slain. If you can muster up a grain of patience, you'll see where this is headed and it'll be over within minutes."
Sirius merged back with the group.
"Now, you see on the floor, a sequence of symbols. Some of you have figured out that it is a two dimensional generator. It is collecting our magic and making it available for Draco's needs. He needs to get back to his power. I'm going to present him with a series of tasks. Each one will be a step closer to the magic that governs his dilemma. Harry will join him, but he cannot act on Draco's behalf. Each task will pull Draco forward into his own belief system. If you look down, you'll see names and symbols regarding your roles. Your posts plug you into his beliefs and challenges. We are indeed role-playing, but the outcome will affect his marriage contract, and the contract put into place before his birth."
Harry wasn't the only one squinting to understand the logic of it. He looked down. The symbols at his feet projected the word, 'Champion' in a disc around him. In Draco's circle, the symbols read, 'Mate.' Beneath Gamy's chair, 'Queen.' Behind him, his mother and father got 'Sun' and 'Builder.' Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy were 'Warrior' and 'Goddess.'
He tried to figure out if Severus had assigned the labels, or if they came from Draco's subconscious mind.
"The more Draco advances down the path provided," He indicated the hologram, "the more he enters a realm of his own making, filled with things that are important to him. We will lose sight of him and Harry, as they enter the portal of Draco's patronis. The dragon."
Harry saw that the markings on the floor passed under the spot where he and Draco had fallen through the ceiling.
"The dragon outside, is a portal. This is why the couple was able to return to this room after being engulfed, as it were, by Draco's magic, in the form of the creature. Our generator stabilizes this end of the portal, using our collective magic. I expect Draco to enter and return. While he is engaged in the tasks, the generator will put us all on the same frequency, and allow us to tune into his experience. There are convenient conductors of imagery and sound along the walls, so those of you without magic, may be able to see what the rest of us sees, and follow along.
"If you've been given the label that one might find on a Tarot Card, here's why. You are Draco's and Harry's community, in direct balance to his committee. There is a committee within all of us, that witnesses our beliefs, thoughts, and actions. Through this committee, we negotiate our lives. Will we be happy or won't we? Do we deserve to have our every need met, or should we struggle a little, or a lot, to deserve comfort? Will we face the world on its terms, or ours? Will we feel guilty if we do this thing?
"If we can persuade the committee within us, we can walk free. I have seen Draco's. I provoked the dragon and entered his personal portal, myself. His committee wants to speak with him. He hears his child's cries continuously. Those cries are his committee, albeit taking the form of the thing that torments him the most. Draco will be facing his committee today. That is his destination. To get him there, he must follow my instructions. When he does, you, his community, will generate the magic he needs to follow through. Neither he nor Harry will be given a wand to deal with their challenges, for they must use the language of symbols to reach deep into the layers of his magic."
"Draco, please come forward."
He did.
"Don't let all these labels confuse you. You will be in control at all times. When you say stop, the generator will stop. If we've resolved nothing, your current struggles will remain. If you allow everything to play out, the contract improves."
"What am I supposed to do?"
"In essence, you're going to create a dream that we can all see. But it will seem quite real to you. On the level of symbols, it will be real and have distinct effects. I will send you in, to help you create a dialogue with your committee, and therefore the contract itself. Stand here. Harry, behind him. I'm going to show you a series of lights. They're actually more than that, but everyone here will see them as lights. You will look into each one and tell your community what you see."
Draco looked nervously from Severus, to everyone watching him.
"I will guide you forward with questions. The more you allow it, the deeper you will go into your magic. We may fade from your eyes. You will be left to make the best choices you can make, with what unfolds. Your emotions will become objective and personified. We will bear witness, because the generator, flowing to your portal, gives us a window into your private reality. Don't worry, we will only see what relates to the changes that you would like to make in the contract. Harry will be with you. I am sending Emerald as an escort. She has instincts that you will need."
Even though Draco was in front of him, Harry could feel him mumbling expletives under his breath. Who wouldn't? This was strange, even by wizard standards.
Draco felt stupid, like he was being asked to play make-believe. His hope took a hit, and he struggled to simply do as he was told.
Severus held up his wand and sent a small crystalline point of light to hover a foot in front of Draco's face. At its center, it burned white. Around the edges, it gave off diamond-like facets.
"I've taken this from your contract. Please tell us what you see."
Draco squinted, not wanting to hurt his eyes. He almost said, 'A white light,' but something pulled him closer. As he made out a face, recognition shocked him. A very handsome man, fifteen years his senior, with a Mediterranean complexion, a kind smile he'd inherited from his Greek mother, and a way of smoking and talking from his pillow in the dark, took Draco back to the moment he'd given his trust away. Kevin.
He was a tenured violinist who won Draco with his award-winning vibrato and a wink. He let Draco believe the attention was all for him. Anyone who could play that beautifully, couldn't be bad. He mistook the music for the man, and he needed someone's arms around him when he couldn't fight the loneliness anymore. As a teacher, Kevin had been so patient. So cautiously respectful. Did he choose wrong? Everything those strings pulled out of him, he gave the credit to this man, not realizing that he'd been the one generating that magic. Kevin was only the chess piece. The game, the movement, was entirely his. He understood that now. So what, if beauty existed in this man. Too many unpleasant things did as well. He couldn't ever let himself be fooled by beauty again. The price was too high. Yes, it makes everything feel wonderful. But when it's gone, then what are you going to do?
"Draco, tell your community what you see."
"Kevin." He didn't have any problem saying it. "From my past."
"He represents a valuable time in your life. Have you had enough experience with him, and all that he connects you to"
"Yes." He meant it.
"Are you ready to move on?"
"Yes."
"Then step forward. That's over with."
He did, a little more invested in what was being asked of him.
The lights dimmed and the inverted designs on the floor brightened. Someone gasped.
"Don't be alarmed. That's intended to happen. Harry, come forward. Every time Draco takes a step, you take one too."
Harry looked at the back of Draco's head. He saw a bit of movement and wondered if he was shaking.
"I'm right here," he whispered.
Severus cast another light. The first one dissipated. "What do you see?"
Draco was almost afraid to look. Something told him to be brave, it can't hurt him. When the image presented itself, it wasn't as painful as it might've been. He saw himself laying in his old flat, in bed, from a viewpoint above his body. His long limbs were wrapped around his baby, which he'd bundled in an oversized shirt, a remnant gift from Kevin, ironically. How the memory rewrites itself. He'd sworn that it had been a blanket. He remembered the relief of feeling clean again. Clean sheets. His physical pain was nothing compared to the regret in his heart. But he didn't see a selfish teen. He saw someone doing their best to love. He suddenly respected the hell out of that person crying in the bed. He felt like a being from the future, watching his past self and wanting to tell him, it's going to be okay. 'You were so scared,' he whispered to himself. It made no sense to be that scared.
"What do you see?"
"Me, and my baby."
"Are you satisfied that you've had enough experience with this event?"
"Yes." He almost didn't say it. Something in him wanted to jump in that bed and put his arms around the both of them.
"Step forward."
The lights went completely down this time. The floor took on the appearance of a world they could fall through. It remained solid, but Draco had to test it beneath him to be sure. He could hear people around him doing the same.
Severus cast the last light.
"What do you see?"
This time, all the visual cues of the room disappeared. He was left looking at a cologne bottle. It held a few ounces of powdery contents, and his heart crumbled on the realization of what it was.
He barely heard his own voice. "My… his ashes."
This was the part, he'd been dreading. No one had the right to see him cry. He didn't have to, but he couldn't help it. He fucking hated being helpless in front of these strangers, but for a minute, his pain was too strong to fight.
He covered his face for only a moment. He used his anger to push it all back down. Something like a breeze, ruffled his hair. When he looked up, Severus was gone. The room was gone. He stood in the rotunda of the main hall of his conservatory, as if he were about to audition. Hazy shafts of sun fell across the shadows of an otherwise darkened hall. Only there were no walls. On either side of him, trees blotted out the sky and swayed to wind that blew around the interior of the space.
"This must be your dream," Harry said.
Draco turned, relieved to see him. "Are we really here?"
"I guess we have to act like it. It's your magic."
Behind Harry, Emerald's head went back, taking in her surroundings. Mouth open, her whole body turned as she made sense of the beautiful, but stale hall, and the forest surrounding it. "I feel like we're in Oz."
The boys gave her credit for referencing something well beyond her years.
They lingered awkwardly, without Severus to tell them what to do.
"So this is where you went to school, I take it?"
He shook his head. "No. Not really. We had a rotunda like this, but the place was really beautiful. Musicians went their to be inspired as well as to learn. This kinda feels like it, but there was no forest right outside our doors. I don't know what I'm expected to do. He said he'd tell me."
Emerald pointed, "Maybe you're supposed to go in there."
They looked. At the far end of the room, a long table emerged from shadows. The cloth covering it, and a picture of water, were as solid as if he were seeing them on his own kitchen table. Glasses, already filled, sat there, though they hadn't been a moment ago.
Draco swallowed. His dream was starting to fill in. What would he be asked to do? Harry sensed his uneasiness and drew closer to him. Emerald waited for instruction behind him.
They all saw the people appear. Nondescript silhouettes in the dim. At first. But a well-dressed arm slid into the light. The band around its wrist, was an expensive watch. A muggle brand that advertised its cost. That strong, tan hand, picked up the glass before it, lifted it to his mouth, which no one could see, then returned the glass. The man spoke.
"Draco Malfoy, you're next. Please come forward. The committee will hear you now."
The man's face emerged into the light that illuminated the table.
He and Harry looked at one another. Severus warned about the committee. But not him. No one had warned him, that his father, Lucius, was the head of it.