"You're what?"
Steven was silent, arms crossed, leaning back in the wheelchair and facing the gems. Even Lapis had reacted better to the news - well, after asking him what, exactly, a 'therapist' did, and he answered to the best of his ability (specifically stating it was basically what he was to the gems, but for humans). Amethyst and Pearl seemed more surprised, if not relieved. Garnet was quiet - truthfully, the way she stood by, leaning back against the wall with her head tilted downwards, reminded Steven of how she was when he was younger. How silent and mysterious she had been. He allowed his lips to quirk up at the corners before rooting his attention back to the others, blowing his hair out of his face and fixing his gaze on Pearl as she walked forward.
"Steven, that's wonderful," the pale gem practically gushed, and Steven resisted the urge to roll his eyes, finally fighting against the irritation rising in his chest. That alone was enough to make his cheeks warm up, tinging pink ever so slightly, but he uncrossed his arms and rubbed his hand over his face, trying to will the pinkness away. "So… when are you going?"
"I don't know. Dad was just about to call when I left," Steven replied with an, admittedly, half-hearted shrug, rubbing his face a little harder before finally dropping his hand, once he was satisfied that the pinkness had faded as much as it would. He spared a glance toward Jasper, despite himself, recalling how she had berated him at first for trying not to turn pink during their training. She only stared now, turning Amethyst's phone over and over in her hands. The hybrid sighed, flicking his gaze back to Pearl. "But he wants me to go soon, so… soon, I guess."
"Well I, for one, am happy that you're going to get professional help," Peridot hummed, now perched on the arm of the couch, on the opposite side that Jasper was sitting on.
Steven only grunted, not really knowing how to respond to that. He watched Jasper's gaze flick toward him, a slight smirk tugging at the corners of her lips, but she had looked away by the time he actually lifted his gaze back to her. He furrowed his eyebrows, silent, then looked away again and offered yet another shrug to the gems, shooting a warning glare toward Pearl as she took another few steps forward - just to make it known that she still wasn't welcome to venture any closer to him than Steven felt was absolutely necessary - and making a point of rolling himself backwards as he did. "Are you two heading back to Little Homeworld soon?" He directed his attention to Peridot and Lapis, as Pearl took a few steps back, visibly deflating.
Lapis looked toward Peridot questioningly, and the green gem spared the others a slightly distrustful glance, looking somewhat skeptical as she sized them up. Steven leaned back a little bit, pursing his lips silently, and - honestly - waiting for more screaming. But Peridot only heaved out a sigh, continuing to eye the others for a moment, before she spoke. "Well, I suppose…"
"But," Lapis chimed in, and Steven turned his head toward her, keeping his gaze fixed on Peridot for a moment before he turned his attention back to the blue gem completely. "My offer still stands, Steven! You're welcome to come stay with us anytime you want to."
"Tempting," Steven mumbled, ignoring a sharp exclamation of "what?!" from Amethyst and Pearl. Garnet shushed them quickly, and the hybrid lifted his gaze to the fusion for a second, wondering what, exactly, she knew - or if maybe she had actually pulled her head out of her ass long enough to realize that he didn't want her or their input anymore. He stared, narrowing his eyes; he couldn't see her own, he couldn't even see if she was looking in his direction, but he still could've sworn he felt her gaze on him, her eyes practically burning into his, simply waiting. The teenager grimaced, looking away again. "But I can't. Dad's coming by later, and I've gotta be here or he'll probably think I've run away again, or something. Besides, I don't wanna go to Little Homeworld." Another grunt rose in his throat, a disgusted sound; he choked it back.
"You sure?" Lapis leaned against the back of the chair, while Peridot heaved herself up off of the couch, dropping down to land on the floor and walking toward them. Steven glanced at her as she approached, but he didn't make any attempt to stop her, like he had with Pearl. Honestly, between Lapis and Peridot, and Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, Steven would take Lapis and Peridot any day. "We could just tell your Dad where we're taking you."
"Personally, I think we'd be better suited to supervise you," Peridot added.
"I don't need supervision," Steven retorted, sparing her a slightly irritated glance now. She met his stare evenly, raising her eyebrows slightly, skeptically, expressing her disagreement with little more than a look. The hybrid twisted his mouth slightly, screwing his face up, scrunching his nose up and curling his lips back slightly as he braced himself to snap at her again, to tear her a new one. He was feeling more and more like some kind of rabid animal by the day - and the growl slowly rising in his chest sounded like it was more fittingly coming from Lion, rather than him. "Look, it's not like I can crash a car in this state. I don't even have a car to cr-"
"That doesn't mean you can't and won't find another way to hurt yourself," Peridot replied simply, crossing her arms with a frown. Steven opened his mouth again, but he faltered a little at that, mostly because he knew Peridot was right. Maybe he didn't want to hurt himself now, but he knew exactly how spontaneous those thoughts could be. It wasn't like his suicide attempt had been a carefully laid out plan, or facing his mother in the Room. Even now, he was still getting urges every now and again, far back into the darkest corners of his mind, calling for him to succumb to the torture he wanted to put himself through. He was doing his best to ignore it, but how long would that last? How long until he decided he wanted to die again? How long until he decided he wanted to hurt? How long until he wouldn't want to be stopped? Did he even want to be stopped now?
The hybrid shook his head and shut his eyes, squeezing them shut as tightly as possible. Regardless, going to Little Homeworld wasn't an option right now. Even if he'd rather be with Lapis and Peridot, he didn't want to go and open up all the fresh wounds that came with the small city. He didn't want to drive himself crazy with thoughts about how it didn't fit in anymore, how much he hated it now, how stupid it felt. "I'm not going," he said simply.
The gems were silent for a moment, before Peridot let out a defeated sigh, and Lapis gently put a hand on Steven's shoulder; the hybrid blinked his eyes open to glance over at her, and the blue gem spared him a firm look, eyes narrowing slightly. "Fine, but we're gonna be checking in. A lot. I don't trust them- no offense-" She added, turning her head briefly toward Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl; the fusion shrugged, while the other two exchanged slightly offended looks regardless, before they melted away into sheepish, uncertain expressions. "Or Jasper." There was no 'no offense' added, only a glare in Jasper's direction, which the orange gem returned.
"Fuck off."
"You fuck off!"
"Shut up, both of you," Peridot groaned, rubbing her eyes underneath her visor with a scowl. Lapis obeyed the command dutifully, though she did throw another glare in Jasper's direction, and the orange gem looked about five seconds away from speaking up again - quite possibly just for the sake of irritating Peridot now - until Steven shot her the most warning look he could muster without trying to look hostile. The Quartz hissed under her breath, through her teeth, and clenched her fist tightly around the phone in her hand as she sank back into the couch.
"I trust Jasper more than the gems," Steven eventually spoke up after a moment, seeing as nobody else was going to say anything. Truthfully, he hadn't been expecting that to be the first thing out of his mouth, and he couldn't help but wince slightly despite himself after he had said it. Not because he regretted saying it - honestly, at the moment? It was kinda true - but because he regretted not, at least, having the self-control to have said it with complete consciousness. This had slipped, before he'd had the chance to really decide whether or not he wanted to spit it out, and it was something he definitely had to work on again. His filter seemed to have vanished along with his positive attitude and happiness altogether, and he wasn't sure how to fix that. Even so, the amount of bewildered and shocked looks he got was almost worth it; while Lapis looked somewhat amused, as if she didn't quite believe him, Amethyst and Pearl seemed to flinch slightly at the words, and Garnet's shoulders gave a slight jerk, lips pressing into a thin line. Peridot only looked shocked for a few seconds before a slightly understanding expression replaced it - but Jasper, oh, Jasper was practically openly gaping at him now.
Steven grimaced, steadily growing uncomfortable with the staring. He met Jasper's gaze briefly, struggling to see anything other than the ever-growing surprise rapidly shadowing her face, but there was no other emotion he could place. He expected her to scoff, to cross her arms and roll her eyes and look away, but she just stared at him, her lower jaw wobbling as if she was about to speak, only to snap shut before she could; she blinked once, then twice, and then again.
"I think you broke her," Amethyst finally spoke up, somewhat uncertainly; the words were slightly strained, voice quivering. Steven glanced over at her, chest aching with an instinctive pang of concern before it quickly diminished again, with the reminder that he was still pissed at them.
Once her words registered, the hybrid couldn't help but wince at the use of the word 'broke'. Even Jasper managed to look uncomfortable; but that was when she let out a huff, and rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away from them completely. Steven spared Amethyst a glare, a silent nice job, and the gem flinched again. "Well, I didn't mean it like that-" She mumbled, backtracking quickly.
"It doesn't matter," Jasper growled, at the same time Steven managed to grumble out the exact same words. Neither of them reacted, other than sharing a brief glance before finally managing to shift their focus onto other things; for Jasper, it was Amethyst's phone. The orange gem sank back again, pulling the phone back up to her face and falling silent. And Steven turned his attention back to Peridot and Lapis, assuming they were about to leave sometime soon now. Sure enough, as he turned back to them, the green gem shuffled forward to give him a quick hug, stretching up on her toes as much as possible to wrap her arms around his neck. He sighed, but lifted his arm around her to return it silently, closing his eyes. Lapis joined in quickly, wrapping her arms around him and offering a light squeeze around the shoulders.
"Stay safe," Peridot insisted, leaning back to look him in the eyes.
"Seriously," Lapis agreed. Steven blinked his eyes open, looking down at Peridot, and then back up at Lapis as she continued, "we're coming to check in later. A lot." She paused, suddenly, looking toward Peridot. "Bismuth's probably gonna come once she hears what happened…"
Steven grimaced, swallowing back every protest rising to the tip of his tongue. He knew word was gonna spread anyway, and he didn't expect it not to reach Bismuth, but it still didn't make it any more favorable. Regardless, he pushed through it, managing to find some relief in the fact that he might not have to tell her himself. Of course, he'd still have to talk to her - but with any luck, he wouldn't have to see her reaction. Not that it could or would be as bad as Greg's…
The hybrid sighed, peering at the blue and green gems for a moment, before flicking his gaze past them, to where Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Jasper were. "See you later, then," he finally responded, pulling his arms back and crossing them over his chest with a small frown. He fell silent as the gems exchanged goodbyes - and as Lapis offered Jasper her middle finger as a farewell, to which Jasper dutifully responded by attempting to mimic the gesture (and somewhat failed, but at least she had tried) - and then they left, as Peridot hopped up onto her trash can lid and Lapis spread her wings and they took off into the sky. He turned the chair around to watch them through the window, still silent, as they faded into the distance, and promptly vanished.
"Well…" Pearl cleared her throat, and Steven sighed, narrowing his eyes slightly. He continued to stare out the window for a moment, just gazing toward the sky, before reluctantly turning the wheelchair back around to face them. Pearl offered him a small, if not hesitant smile, at least having the sense not to approach him again. "Are you hungry? I know you were eating earlier, but it didn't seem like much. And I'm sure it's been a while since you've eaten anything else…"
"I could go catch some of those tiny… slippery water organics," Jasper piped up, and Steven - despite everything - actually managed to huff out a laugh. Breathless and bewildered, but still somehow genuine. Jasper looked down at him, and the corners of her lips quirked upwards briefly before a slightly irritated expression crossed her face. "Oh, what are they called…"
"Fish?" Steven offered, unable to help a flare of amusement despite himself. Here she was, back to being clueless; nothing like the gem that had scared him as a child, one of few who hadn't accepted his help at all. Sometimes, she felt more innocent than Steven knew - logically - she really was, and as rare as those moments were, they still managed to surprise him every so often when they came. Hell, a lot about Jasper surprised him every so often; there was so much about her he still didn't know, so much she kept bottled up and locked away, hidden behind the walls she built up day by day. Steven wasn't sure whether he had broken through or not, but considering that he was seeing more and more of Jasper now than ever, he had to wonder…
"Yeah. Fish," Jasper grunted, narrowing her eyes slightly, in a somewhat thoughtful expression. "Mm, they're hard to catch. Worthy opponents," she sniffed, "clever, for Earth creatures…" Another laugh escaped Steven, more startled than anything, and Jasper's mouth tugged into a brief smirk before it vanished once again, a slightly smug expression replacing it for a second.
"Right. Well, I'm not hungry," Steven finally responded, shaking his head slightly and finally raising his hand to run his fingers through his hair, brushing the curls back. "So don't go engaging in combat with the fish for my sake. It's not worth the loss, they're way too sneaky for you." At this, Jasper let out a huff that sounded dangerously close to a laugh - so much so that Steven had to stare at her for a moment just to figure out if it actually might had been - but the orange gem's expression hadn't changed, so he wasn't entirely sure whether it was or not.
"Good, I'm not looking for a fight anyway."
At this, Amethyst and Pearl spared the orange gem slightly surprised looks, exchanging a glance and frowning at each other briefly. Steven let out a quiet hum, remembering what Jasper had told him earlier - honestly, it made sense that she didn't want to fight. After what had happened, Steven couldn't blame her. But it still didn't make it easier to think about, the fact that he had done that to her, he had hurt her, shattered her, traumatized her to the point where she didn't even want to fight anymore. Something she'd done all her life. Something she enjoyed.
The amusement faded, replaced with bitterness and guilt once again, as every careful defense and wall came shooting right back up. He couldn't afford to get close to her again, to joke around and tease her like they had done in the forest. It wasn't like that anymore; they couldn't be like that anymore, because he had messed it up, and he had to pay the price. They both did.
The hybrid sighed through his teeth and cleared his throat, shaking his head a little. Well, he didn't want to stick around with the gems any longer than was necessary. And he couldn't get upstairs to hide away in his room, so… Steven grimaced, looking toward the temple door.
As long as he didn't fall asleep, it'd be fine; as much as he wanted to visit his brother right then, he knew Greg was on his way over, and he probably wouldn't take kindly to Steven sleeping the day away, being locked away on his own without anyone to 'supervise' him. But he needed to be alone right then more than ever, to gather his thoughts again and think about what he was going to do, how this might turn out and what his alternative options were if this whole therapy thing didn't work out the way they were hoping it would. The teenager hummed, decision set, and reached down for the wheels to roll himself forward, heading for the temple door.
"Uh, Steven- uh-" Amethyst stepped forward slightly, but Steven didn't stop. He only halted when Garnet finally pushed herself away from the wall to stand in front of him, raising her hands slightly; the hybrid jerked the wheels back, bringing himself to a sharp halt, and winced slightly as the movement jarred his leg. His eyes narrowed, lips curling back slightly, and growled.
"I don't think you should be alone right now," Garnet told him cautiously, hands still raised in a half-defensive manner. Steven narrowed his eyes further. "You should stay where we can-"
"Supervise me?" Steven cut in mockingly, not waiting for the fusion to respond. "Wow, Lapis and Peri really got to you, didn't they? Or do you know something I don't?" He allowed a bitter smile to curl at his lips, flicking his gaze toward Sapphire's gem for a moment before flicking his gaze back up to her face, a sneer replacing the snarl that had previously been written across his face. "Well, I don't need a babysitter. What I need is to be alone."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Well I think you'd do well to get out of my way, Garnet."
Garnet's jaw twitched, visor flashing briefly. She didn't move, but both Amethyst and Pearl slowly made their way forward, glancing at the hybrid worriedly as they paused beside the fusion. Pearl, herself, looked a little more reluctant to do so, while Amethyst simply looked concerned. But it was clear, the way they looked at him then, they weren't letting him go. And this was proven when Amethyst spoke up, holding her hands up slightly to somewhat mirror Garnet's position. "C'mon, little man, you know after what happened- it's not safe to…"
"Oh my stars," Steven hissed, slipping into Gem Glyph briefly. A bewildered expression crossed Amethyst's face for a second, while Garnet and Pearl only grimaced. "I don't exactly have anything to kill myself wi-" He stopped, thinking back to the knife he had left in the Room.
"I… I think it's best for you to stay in here, Steven," Pearl spoke up, and Steven flicked his gaze back up, eyes narrowing slightly once again. "We're just worried about yo-"
"Don't put that on me," Steven snapped, curling his lips back into a brief snarl. "I cannot stay in here with you while you try to fuss over me and- and watch me like a hawk like I'm a little kid. Hell, I will not. You don't get to just suddenly start giving a shit - you don't get to just suddenly be worried about where I go and what I do. So you're sorry, and you feel guilty, whatever- you should. But don't start thinking I suddenly need you to look after me, because I don't." He flicked his gaze back to Garnet, numb and yet cold with rage. "Now get out of my way."
Silence. Amethyst looked at Pearl. Pearl looked at Garnet. Garnet took a deep breath, looking briefly like she was trying to steady herself, compose herself, and Steven narrowed his eyes, already knowing what the answer would be before she had even opened her mouth to speak. "Yes, you do. We just don't want you hurting yourself, Steven."
Steven closed his eyes for a moment, teeth clenched. He could feel his own blood boiling, fury churning through his veins like icy fire; the pounding in his skull synced with his heartbeat, hard, and loud, and fast. But his mind was surprisingly clear, with only one thought, only one emotion. He breathed in, slowly, though his teeth, and slowly opened his eyes again, lifting his chin. "Well, then maybe I should hurt you instead." He lifted a hand, summoning one of his shields the second he did, and slammed it toward her without a moment's hesitation, lips curling back.
Garnet summoned her gauntlets quickly enough; they appeared before Steven could blink, with little more than a quiet poof, colliding with the shield before it could hit her. She hardly wavered under the impact, but the shield cracked and diminished, falling apart and vanishing in a flash.
"Hey, this is what you wanted, right?" Steven sneered, summoning another shield. "Surely, you saw this coming." He punched the shield forward, wincing slightly as the movement jarred his back again, sending a thrill of pain from the base of his spine to his right ankle, but he didn't stop. "But that's alright. That's perfect. I'm not the only guilty one in this situation, am I, guys?" He summoned another shield, just as Garnet, once again, broke the previous one. The hybrid narrowed his eyes, sending the next one toward Amethyst. "Maybe we all deserve a little pain!"
Amethyst managed to sidestep the shield, wincing slightly as it crashed into the wall beside the temple door. Steven simply summoned another one, scowling now. "Steven, calm down-"
The hybrid plucked at the air, like he was flicking a bug; the shield crashed right into Amethyst mid-sentence, sending her flying back along with it and slamming into the wall right where the other one had crashed into, trapping her between them. "Don't tell me to calm down."
"We're just trying to keep you safe!"
"Well it's a little fucking late, isn't it?!" Steven yelled back, rounding on Pearl next; the gem hardly had time to summon her spear before Steven had pelted a shield at her, but Garnet managed to reach her just in time to smack it to the side, sending it crashing into the wall.
"Steven, that's enough," the fusion ordered, straightening up again. Amethyst managed to shove one of the shields off of her, poofing it. "We don't want to fight you."
"Oh, oh, I know," Steven hissed, "I wouldn't want to fight me either." He raised a hand, summoning two shields back to back this time, but not sending them off yet. "But, you know what? I don't care! You don't get to just finally start telling me what to do, and- and where to go!" He slammed the shields forward, and Garnet raised her fists; the first shield cracked, but the second one managed to catch the fusion off guard, sending her skidding across the floor. "You didn't give a damn about me when we got back from Homeworld! You just left, like nothing was wrong! Like I hadn't just literally admitted I wanted to die! What kind of bullshit is that?!"
"But we didn't think-" Amethyst stepped forward, but Steven brought up a wall in front of her; the purple gem smashed straight into it, mid-step and fell back with a gasp, covering her face.
"That I was serious?" He growled, not taking his eyes off of Garnet. "Yeah. You never do. You never listen, you never pay attention, you never fucking care. All any of you ever cared about was yourselves, and-" He barked out a laugh, summoning another shield and slamming it forward. "And my stupid fucking mother!"
Garnet sucked in a breath, caught off guard, and the shield hit her dead on, slamming her right back into the temple door. Steven summoned a wall between her and Pearl, as the pale gem let out a sharp exclamation of "Garnet!" and tried to rush forward to help her.
"Well, it's over, isn't it?" Steven narrowed his eyes, summoning a spiked shield this time. "I've had enough of your pity parties. I'm done!" He raised his hand, ready to slam the shield forward and be done with it - only to feel a hand close around his wrist before he could. It caught him off guard just enough for the shield to drop before it could even start moving forward, along with the walls holding Amethyst and Pearl back. The hybrid stared for a moment, pupils shrinking slightly, then slowly tilted his head back to look up and who had stopped him. He shouldn't have been surprised to see Jasper, considering she had been the only other one there, but he was.
"Enough. You won." The orange gem stared down at him, and Steven just blinked back at her, still lost in the fury boiling in his blood. "They're not worth it. You're better than them."
Steven clenched his fist a little tighter, squeezing his eyes shut and taking in a deep, unsteady breath in a half-hearted attempt to calm himself down, and Jasper slowly released his wrist. "Besides, I hate to admit it, but they're right. You said it yourself-" She interrupted when Steven snapped his eyes open and opened his mouth to respond. "-you weren't planning it before, and you're not planning it now. But that doesn't mean anything, does it?"
She was right, and he knew it. Still, he spared the gems a furious look as Amethyst picked herself up off of the floor, and Pearl and Garnet just stared at them in silent surprise.
"You won," Jasper told him simply, redirecting his attention back to her once more as she repeated the words, and then added, "don't taint your victory." Turning to the gems, she narrowed her eyes slightly. "You three need to fuck off. You're just making it worse."
"We're not leaving Steven," Pearl insisted. Steven curled his lips back slightly, fully prepared to either snarl back or attack again, but Jasper put an - admittedly large - hand in front of him, blocking the gems from his sight completely. The hybrid leaned back as much as possible without hurting his back too much, wincing slightly, somewhat shocked out of his rage now.
"Then don't leave. Go outside or something," the Quartz hissed. Pearl let out a slightly offended noise, seeming like she was about to respond, but she stopped quickly when Garnet spoke.
"She's right. Let's go."
"What?!"
"Outside."
Steven sank back completely, breathing in shakily through his teeth as his back flared up with pain again, but he didn't say a word. He kept his eyes fixed on Jasper's hand, still hovering in front of him, even as the gems passed him to head to the door, refusing to look at them at all. It was only when he heard the door open and close a moment later did he finally rip his gaze away from Jasper's hand, just as the orange gem dropped it and turned to face him once again.
"What was that?" Once again, they spoke at the same time; Steven's tone was more accusatory, less blinded by rage but still angry and disbelieving regardless, while Jasper just sounded downright bewildered. Regardless, they both paused after they had spoken, and Jasper huffed, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Steven retorted, leveling his stare to meet her gaze again, and she reluctantly returned the eye contact, eyes narrowing slightly as she did so. "Stopping me from fighting the gems- seriously, what the hell? A week ago you would've probably shattered them yourself if you had the chance, and now you're stopping me from-?"
"That's different," Jasper huffed, "I wouldn't have felt guilty. You tried to kill yourself over sh- over what happened back there in the forest. You shatter one of them, you're as good as dead. And you know it," she added sharply, watching his expression harden, only to crumble again. The hybrid faltered, clenching his fists and rubbing his nails against his palms for a moment. Honestly, though, he had started to wonder if he would feel guilty about hurting them - or even killing them. He didn't feel any guilt right then; and he had been five seconds away from shattering Garnet on the spot, furious and numb and just downright over it all. "Alright, your turn," Jasper interrupted his thoughts, crossing her arms. "I thought you didn't like fighting."
"Well, they wouldn't let me go!" Steven protested.
"For good reason," Jasper countered with a roll of her eyes, and Steven stopped for a moment, eyes narrowing slightly, mouth opening as he prepared to spit out a response. "Okay, continue."
Steven grunted, digging his nails a little harder into his palms. "It doesn't matter what reason they had for it, they don't get to just suddenly be concerned, and suddenly start caring about leaving me alone. They didn't have any problems with it when I was younger, and they- jeez, they didn't even have a problem with leaving me here with you this morning, either! And yeah, okay, I know, I wasn't technically alone," he snapped, as Jasper opened her mouth slightly, "but, and no offense here, do you really think it was smart of them to leave me with you regardless?"
Jasper made a face at him, only briefly looking offended, before offering a simple shrug as if to say yeah, that's fair. "Okay, that was kind of stupid. Whatever. Thing is, they're still not wrong now. Answer honestly, do you really trust yourself enough right now not to try again?" Steven grimaced, but said nothing, and that alone was Jasper's answer. "Exactly. Your gems are dumb, but this is the first time I think they've actually said anything that made any sense. You and 'alone time' aren't exactly a great combination at the moment, and you know if I'm telling you this, then something is very, very wrong." The Quartz huffed through her nose.
Steven let out a quiet grumble of agreement, reluctantly reaching down to roll the wheelchair back. He wasn't about to fight Jasper again - he wasn't pissed at her, he was pissed at the gems, and if she wasn't gonna let him through then there wasn't much he could do about that. "Whatever. I still hate them."
"Fine, hate them. Good for you," Jasper scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You should hate them. That's what I've been trying to tell you anyway." Steven quirked an eyebrow skeptically at her, and Jasper sneered slightly in response as she marched past him, heading back over to the couch. "But, just because you hate them and want them dead right now or whatever doesn't mean you're not gonna feel differently later. And if I know you, you're going to feel differently later."
"Why do you even care about how I feel?" Steven mumbled. Jasper didn't respond, so the hybrid only heaved out a sigh, eventually turning the wheelchair around to face her again. "Okay. Fine. You're probably right. But for the moment? I hate them."
"Then hate them," Jasper muttered, crossing her arms. "Be angry. Scream at them. Make them listen. It's about time you stopped being such a pushover anyway. They deserved that little beatdown. But what's killing them going to do? Make you feel even worse? Yeah, real smart." She rolled her eyes again, and Steven made a face. "If you're that angry with them, then don't be around them. Go to Little Homeworld with Lapis and Peridot or something. I'll take you right now," she added with a huff. "But even I'll tell you that isolating yourself is a stupid option now."
"I just wanna be alone…" Steven hissed through his teeth, leaning his head back against the back of the wheelchair and squeezing his eyes shut.
"Well, they're gone and I'm not gonna bother you, so if it makes you feel any better, congratulations, you're technically alone," Jasper grunted, and Steven couldn't help but snort slightly despite himself, squeezing his eyes shut a little tighter. "But stop being stupid about it. You're just asking for them to be overbearing." Steven didn't respond, stifling a sigh and keeping his eyes shut. He was tired, but not tired enough to fall asleep yet - his brother would just have to wait. Besides, he wasn't sure when his father would be showing up now, so it was probably best to stay awake until he got there so that he didn't get interrupted or something later on. There wasn't anything else to do; he didn't wanna talk to Jasper. He didn't want to talk at all.
So he just let himself lapse into a strangely comfortable silence with the orange gem, still calming down from his fury, slowly but surely. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should take Lapis and Peridot's offer and head on back to Little Homeworld. It seemed like a better option than staying here, and just waiting to snap again. But he still wasn't sure about how he'd cope there. Would it be any better than it was now? Hell, could he even keep running from the gems?
And, fuck, with Jasper of all people there to talk some sense into him when even they couldn't, maybe he really was better off far away from them. Until he could actually think, decide for himself whether he wanted to be around them at this point, or whether it really was too late.
It felt too late.
The thought alone hurt, stung like an open wound, but he couldn't deny it. It felt too late.