Author Notes: Part one of the dun-dun-dun? Possibly. I know all of you were waiting for the first shoe to drop.
Hermione's eyes were brimming with tears at the contents of the toilet. She was bleeding. The hued discoloration that announced she was starting. He had everything else under control but her hormones. She had her monthly, and there was nothing either of them could do about that. Even with the potions, he was supplying her and the lack of drinking or stress, she still didn't manage it within the time.
Of course, she knew what he was doing. He took the reins so that she could relax and focus on the hard things later. The soft guidance that he rarely showed, he showered her in ample amounts. That made the blow even worse. Those damn darkened tissues in the toilet were a clear fact that she didn't excel where he needed her to do so.
What if she failed him? The consequence of that for the law was mote. They could request a severing should either of them prove to be sterile after the six months. What if she indeed couldn't have children from all the battle wounds she received?
Hermione was crumbled by the toilet at that point and sobbed. What if she failed him? Would he still love her? Would he even want to be with her? Knowing that she was shackling him to the snuffing of not producing their children. At least if she was applying to be a surrogate and found out, all they would have to do is find a new donor.
Her sobbing grew coarse and rough as she clung to the porcelain. She was inept at delivering the one thing she was supposed to do for this bill. There was a knock at the door, and Hermione swiftly moved toward the entrance while wiping her face and straightening her clothing.
There was a second set of knocks before Hermione reached the door.
"Who is it?" Hermione winced at her croaking.
"Severus," he announced. "You missed breakfast."
Hermione exhaled and cleared her face again before opening the barrier and plastered on a smile. "I slept in. I'll grab something during my off-hour," she said.
His eyes narrowed at her blotchy face. "Are you alright?"
Hermione cast her eyes to the floor and breathed. "I'll talk to you about it later."
Severus groaned and touched her cheek. "Why have you been weeping?" he pressed.
A tear escaped her eye as she shook her head. "Please, Severus. Let me get through the day, and then we can talk about it. If we talk about it now, it might devastate me to a difficult degree, and I still have to teach."
Severus's eyes softened as he wiped the tear trail away. "Hermione, if you let me, I can shoulder this for you," he whispered.
Hermione shook her head as another tear fell. "This you can't. We'll talk later, alright?"
He agreed and kissed her forehead with a tender touch. "Please eat something. I worry about you," he whispered.
Hermione bit the inside of her cheek to attempt to prevent the river of sadness building. "I will, I promise."
He stroked her curls once more before stepping away and examining the crumbling witch. "I promise it will be better. We still have time," he said before pivoting and walking through her office.
Hermione shut the door and slid down it, pressing her forehead to her knees and silently sobbing. They didn't have that type of time to worry about this. It took her mother three years to have her. Even with the actual magic, she has at her fingertips, could she struggle the same fate? If he didn't have to love her, would he still if she couldn't?
That was the thorn on the beautiful rose that pricked at her. If he genuinely wasn't obligated to love her due to a law, would he still? Beyond the simple answer lay the complication. There would be no reason to love her if they weren't tied together by law. She couldn't deal with the utter devastation of him leaving her because of it. Yes, he loved her now, but would he if the storm raged and ravaged the lands, ruining the prospect of new life?
She breathed deeply twice before climbing from the ground and wiping her face. She had to pull her Gryffindor ass together and teach the best classes she could. Hermione rubbed her face in the mirror, flushed the toilet, and pressed a cold washcloth to her eyes. She could do this.
By lunch, Severus was tapping the table with a scowl as Charlie observed from the chair over. The empty chair that sat between them had been vacant for ten minutes, and Severus was getting impatient. Hermione could have eaten in her quarters, surely. However, the likelihood was low.
"Was she banged up this morning?" Charlie murmured.
Severus breathed. "Yes."
Charlie exhaled and placed his elbow on the table as he shoved his fist to his chin. "Snape, what are you going to do? She doesn't take failure well, and this is like telling a witch she's failed at being a witch."
"I plan to discuss it with her tonight. I'm taking her home," Severus voiced. "She does better when I'm with her."
"We all know that, but she doesn't," Charlie grumbled.
"Less than six weeks until the winter holiday. We can spend plenty of time recovering from all the changes then," Severus mused.
Charlie shifted his lips, and his brow sank. "Snape, I don't know if she's going to make it until then if you said she was cryin' so badly this morning," he whispered.
Severus scrubbed his face, and his jaw tightened. He was frightened that the first set back would be massive for Hermione. He was dreading it with a potent degree. They hadn't outwardly agreed that they were trying, but the implication was there. Sitting over her head and grading her on factors, she had no control over.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he went down possibilities in his mind. How was he to salvage this situation so the witty witch he near obsessively loved would be undamaged by the time constraint?
"You look stressed, Severus. Did you have a poor morning set of classes?" Hermione's voice stopped his brooding.
He glanced over to see her sitting in her chair. "It was tense. My N.E.W.T. classes are struggling," he lied. Of course, they weren't, he was, in fact, an excellent professor.
Hermione tutted and smiled as she touched his arm. "It's alright. I'm sure they'll get it. Or you'll be quite harsh," she laughed.
Relief. She was at least smiling. "Excellent point," Severus agreed.
Hermione began to eat as she turned to the Weasley at the table. "Charles, any word yet on your issue?"
"Negative, darlin'," Charlie sighed. "But I get to teach a first-year class this afternoon, so there's that," he smiled.
"Different set of dragons," Hermione giggled.
Severus bent closer to her and breathed. "Come home tonight?"
Hermione nodded. "Alright," she agreed.
"You should just move in together," Charlie suggested. "It would be easier."
"Move in together?" Hermione questioned and tapped her chin.
Severus bit the inside of his cheek. "The pros do outway the cons," he said.
"Very true," Hermione voiced. "Your library would have to be reorganized if I was going to place my books in them."
"It can be done," he mused.
"And we would have to set up a workspace for me," Hermione declared.
"Also a simple mending," Severus nodded.
Hermione pressed her lips together and glanced at him. "You want me to?"
"Yes, Hermione," he said. "I do."
She dropped her vision and returned to her plate. "Let me think it over."
Severus bit his tongue so hard it would bleed. She had been saying that for an entire week. Why couldn't she just give him the peace of mind to know she was safe and in his home?
"It would be rather silly for you both not to live together, darlin'," Charlie argued.
"Listen, both of you aren't going to start this subtle teaming up," Hermione grumbled as she stabbed her chicken.
Severus stood up and straightened his robes. "You will do what you see fit, seeing as my requests are null n void," he hissed and strode off.
Hermione groaned and pressed a hand to her face. "Sometimes, he can be ballocks."
"Actually, darlin', he's been pretty damn good to you," Charlie offered.
Hermione glared at him and huffed. "Sometimes, Charles," she said and stood up.
"Wait, aren't you going to eat?" Charlie asked.
"No, I haven't the stomach," she snapped and marched off in a fury.
Hermione was sitting at her desk and inhaling the lovely textures of the parchment and ink. The smell, to some, might seem stale or lingering. To her, it was home. While she was grading some papers for her sixth-year class, she avoided the lingering question overhead.
She just needed to keep working. That's how she'd overcome things in the past. Hermione upset him. That deflated her as she set the pages down and lounged in her chair. Hermione rubbed her face and captured a groan in her hands. If she moved in now and they found out she couldn't have children, then Severus would be stuck with her.
The idea caused her eyes to burn. He was so exceptional as a partner and caring. Severus was the epitome of everything she ever wanted. What if she wasn't good enough for him? Hermione couldn't even pull her shit together enough to be healthy.
It was the underline of this bill. They are together because of the law. Would Severus ever have even invested time and care into her if it wasn't forced? What if everything he was doing was just due to this bill? He had indeed told her that he selflessly put others above himself in the past with a record to prove it.
Hermione was swallowing down her agony now. She could feel the stiff ball in her throat, mere moments from stealing her breath. Severus was such an ideal partner, but what did she offer to the table aside from above par shagging and her writing? Especially if she couldn't have children.
"I can't do this without you," Hermione murmured and shook her head.
"Can't do what, Professor Granger?"
She stiffened and glanced at the doorway to see Severus. "Severus," she sighed.
He shut the door and sat down in the chair across from her. "It is dinner time, and you aren't eating," he growled. "I waited for you for fifteen minutes in the Great Hall. Why are you rebelling?"
"Because I'm having a horrible day, and the last person I want to disappoint is you," she explained with a glare.
"I told you, I have this under control," Severus hissed.
"Well, I don't!" Hermione snapped. "The one thing you can't control is my bloody body, Severus!"
"Hermione, I told you, I have this if you will just grant me the opportunity to take care of it," He spoke in a lower tone but retained his glower.
"Well, I don't want to. In fact, why don't you just go home by yourself," she retorted.
Severus stood up and shifted his robes in a bellowed snap. "Fine. As long as you're acting childish, I want no part of it," he voiced and strode to the door.
He left, and she pressed her forehead to the free portion of her desk. She could crawl into a fucking hole for her mouth. Hermione slid the sheets over that weren't due to be passed back until Thursday, but exhaled. It could wait. She was too tired and drained from dealing with this.
Climbing from the chair, she shuffled into her quarters and strolled off to the bedroom. She would feel better in the morning. Hermione knew she would have to think up ways to apologize to Severus too. That would have to wait until morning. She was just too bloody tired to think.