"The secret admirer"
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Side: Midoriya
Act 27: I love you
How come you felt so full just having expressed your feelings put into words?
How easily he was charmed by the caresses he shared with his partner; his unconditional unparalleled company.
How much tranquility surrounded him completely, just by having confessed, and then staying the night at his now official boyfriend's house.
So many turns that he gave to the matter and finally, he realized that he was in love with his childhood friend with the same strength that he possessed determined when he admired him in childhood. It was exactly the same force.
The sensation, though, throbbed to another level. It was throbbing and brewing, connecting it on the same frequency as him.
It beat and was harvested.
Hence, since he kissed him in his room, absorbed in his own action, instead of calming down his thoughts and intimidating himself by turning things around so many times, he gave himself up to the calm and solemnity of the moment.
However, Kacchan stopped him, pulling away from his mouth a little.
"Kacchan?" Izuku muttered a bit puzzled.
Kacchan bit his lower lip, furrowing his brows, directing his red eyes to peer at his lips.
"Deku" He uttered in a dubious tone.
"Yes?"
"You like me, don't you?"
Izuku was surprised at his question, but he wasn't speechless; and, with his cheeks turning red, he said:
"Yes" He admitted sincerely.
He saw Kacchan's cheeks turn red, an illusioned glow emerging from his red eyes and his breathing shaking.
"Really?" He insisted to be clear.
It wasn't common for him to see Kacchan appear insecure when questioning his feelings, since at first he was the first to take the initiative in sending letters.
But he wanted to let him know in a spontaneous way, since he wasn't the spontaneous type in front of people, especially with his boyfriend, who looked at him in the expectation that he would confirm his feelings in a measured, clear and precise way, but more than anything direct.
He giggled, which got his boyfriend out of control, who gave him a questioning look.
"What are you laughing at?"
Izuku took advantage of his lack of control, who carried him with his arms and carried him to his bed, slowly laying him down, taking an annoyed look and somewhat indignant with his attitude.
"What did you carry me up for, stupid?" He barked defensively. "I can move alone"
Izuku planted his green eyes on his red ones, who observed him questioningly, since this wasn't the way he was, and much less behaved sporadically.
"I love you" He snapped abruptly, holding his boyfriend back, who was going to question him again about his behavior.
He opened his eyes completely surprised.
"Deku?" He articulated.
"I love you, Kacchan" He muttered slowly and firmly, feeling his face burn and his heart melt decanted.
"Really, idiot?"
Izuku nodded, leaning his forehead on that of his boyfriend, who was processing his short confession.
"I love you" He repeated, projecting his feelings short.
"Ah stupid" He mumbled, turning so red that he looked like tomato. "Stupid idiot" He growled, his lips trembling.
He launched himself into a hug, wrapping his arms around his neck in possessive instinct.
"Deku, I love you" He said moved. "I love you, bastard." His entire body shook with a shudder.
Izuku knew that his short confession had had an effect on his boyfriend's explosive temperament, since his reaction had been as expected, because he no longer wanted him to feel insecure about his feelings.
Izuku had made up his mind not to worry him unnecessarily, so if he told him how he felt, he would be sure that Kacchan was not thinking about the extra things, since that was Izuku's responsibility to do.
Izuku was the one who thought the most.
Meanwhile, he could feel that his boyfriend almost strangled him, since the muscular force he applied was such that the heat he felt piling up in his head was from the pressure of the hug and not from his feelings.
"K-Kacchan" He muttered out of breath.
"What do you want, Deku?" He said absorbed in his own.
"You're strangling me" He warned, placing his hands on his arms.
"Exaggerated" Kacchan complained, lightening his strength.
Izuku laughed softly, releasing his boyfriend and lying down next to him, looking at him smiling.
"You are quite delicate, Deku" Kacchan complained, lying down next to him, after gnashing his teeth and rolling his eyes, giving him a contemptuous look to separate from the hug. "You can't take anything, nerd"
"You think so?" Izuku questioned in mischief.
"I think so" He stated. "Since we were children you are exaggerated and delicate, always whining for everything; I remember that you used to cry when you fell from your mouth and I had to get you up, and make you stop crying like a baby"
Izuku nodded in agreement, even though he didn't remember that particular detail, because he had very vague memories of his childhood, since previously he dedicated himself to forgetting his misfortunes as a child without a quirk and all the bullying that he suffered for more than ten years, but Kacchan still remembered those details from his childhood very well.
"And you're still a crybaby" Kacchan continued without realizing his blank expression around his vague memories. "And I also remember that your mother bought you the All Might figures before me and you came to my house to show them to me, at that time I didn't admit the envy I felt when I saw you had a toy before me, but now I admit that yes it was like that, actually I was envious that you had everything first"
As Kacchan said that, he snuggled his head over his shoulder, hugging him around the waist to keep close to him, which Izuku simply allowed himself to hug, in which he deliberately agreed; In addition, that Kacchan was so talkative was strange, also for that he agreed.
"And it also seemed very strange for me that you write your analysis of heroes in a notebook; I mean, it's not common that as children it's well seen that at that age the heroes you see on television or in person are analyzed. But, I really liked it when you flattered me every time I got better with my quirk, and knowing that you wrote about me made me feel very special, Deku"
"Oh yeah?" He whispered puzzled.
"Yes, fool." He pinched him with his hand, snuggling closer to his shoulder, tucking his pointy hair over his neck. "But you do keep writing about me, don't you?"
"Yes" He stated sincerely.
Kacchan released a pleased sigh.
"I love your dedication to writing your analysis" He admitted honestly.
Izuku blushed, opening his eyes in relation to what his boyfriend admitted.
"Well" Kacchan articulated embarrassed. "I love everything about you"
"Thank you, Kacchan" He said gratefully.
"I'm not saying that you want to thank me" He grumbled annoyed. "I say it because I love you, stupid, because I love everything about you"
Izuku made a sound of surprise.
"Even if you think too much, I love you" He mentioned terribly embarrassed. "I think from childhood, I love you, Deku; but I was so stupid to realize my feelings, for being so proud and so stubborn to know it"
"Don't be overwhelmed by that, Kacchan" Izuku comforted quietly.
Kacchan gave him a hard squeeze, easing his grip.
"I know I treated you badly, Deku" He admitted guilty. "I know I gave you hell throughout childhood and in middle school, ah ..." He groaned. "Also at U.A. and knowing that you love me, made me remember all the damage that I did to you, the stupid things I told you, the blows, the shoves, everything... I-I'm sorry for everything" He held him, starting to tremble." It was never my intention hurt you "
"Kacchan" Izuku said captivated.
"You don't deserve the damage I did to you, and it makes me mad just remembering it." He felt him tremble, just like his voice was charged with feeling. "Fuck! And I'm a damn selfish because I don't want you to leave me, dammit, if you leave me I don't know how to go on! I can't be without you, I don't want to be in a world where you're not there" He stuck his head inside his neck , without ceasing to tremble. "F-forgive me for the damage I did to you, hum… and I… I love you so much, Deku"
"Kacchan" He repeated solemnly, this only caused his boyfriend to shake more than before.
"I love you so much, Deku" He continued. "I'm an asshole, and I don't deserve you, but dammit, I need you because I love you so much! You have no idea how much I love you, you bastard"
"I already forgive you, Kacchan" Izuku added, wrapping his arms around his waist. "It's okay"
"No, it's not okay" He denied in a crisp voice and his teeth could be heard gnashing. "It's not okay"
"Calm down, Kacchan." Izuku stroked his blonde hair, feeling his body still tremble a lot.
"I feel so pathetic talking like that" He said frustrated.
"You are not pathetic" Izuku assured. "Don't say I don't deserve you"
"I hurt you so much" He whispered falteringly.
"Don't underestimate yourself, Kacchan" Izuku released him, turning to see him from his neck, noting that his jaw was shaking and his breathing was shaky, betraying all his guilt. "You said to leave the past behind"
"I was saying it for you, stupid" He clarified. "Not for me"
"For both of us, Kacchan" Izuku added softly. "For both of us, let's accept that this is how things happened, and if they happened that way it's for a reason"
"You are a stupid, idiot head" He insulted, calming his tremor a little. "I could have corrected everything, had another option to treat you better, I missed all the opportunities you gave me, and I almost lost you; for me, there is no point in living if I lose you"
Kacchan's grip on his neck squeezed him, but he supposed it was because of the large amount of accumulated and repressed feelings that he kept himself from admitting, not even out loud.
"I already told you" Kacchan said in a suppressed voice.
"What thing?"
"That it's always been just you, Deku" He said, stopping his trembling.
Izuku blushed, flattered by the comment and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, only slightly ingesting his scent cautiously and slowly.
"It was just you" He repeated inspiring.
"Okay." He hugged him tenderly. "I love you, Kacchan"
"Don't forgive me that easy, Deku" He mentioned concern.
"It doesn't matter, I love you." He settled him between the covers and his arms, protecting him.
He felt him shudder in his grip, his hands fearfully resting on his chest, but he still hid his face. Izuku let him stay that way, because Kacchan wouldn't want to be seen as vulnerable. Izuku understood him and let him do those behaviors.
"I wasted all the opportunities you gave me" He listed.
"It doesn't matter"
"It does matter" He denied shaking. "I hurt you unfairly"
"It's okay, it's over." He let it go.
"Deku!" He exclaimed indignantly.
"I love you." He kissed him on the cheek, and went down kissing his neck.
"Deku, wait." He alarmed and placed his hands on his shoulders, holding him back.
"What is it, Kacchan?" Izuku sighed seriously.
Kacchan's eyes emitted an incandescent glow behind his pupils, his cheeks adorably lighted, his breath short, his gaze penetrating him insecure, but with a hint of inherent emotion, binding to his changing hands, changing his forearms and then his hands, outlining his highlighted veins.
"I will try not to be so demanding." He swallowed as he said it with great difficulty. "In any case I am satisfied that you are with me"
Izuku smiled excitedly, touched that his childhood friend's features could be seen so refined, so finely polished by a prominent scarlet red that gave him the irresistible appeal of his reddish gaze.
"I'm satisfied with being you too" Izuku replied in a subtle tone.
He was surprised to see a small smile curl from Kacchan's lips.
Izuku returned the gesture and with that, he leaned in to kiss him, but this time, on the mouth.
Act 28: The dew of the sea
Izuku woke up after five in the morning, receiving a sensory shock to his head when remembering that he had left his belongings on the bench located on the beach.
He glimpsed at his side Kacchan clinging to his body, grasping his jacket with both hands, he imagined that it was because possibly his attachment was because he didn't intend to release him, for having disappeared two weeks ago.
He was in a situation between the sword and the wall.
He had two options: Leave or stay.
The most sensible one is to stay, but Izuku would opt for the first option without saying a word, so he separated from Kacchan and stood up from the bed, stretching his limbs. Kacchan's strong grip prevented him from pulling away at first, but his strength far exceeded his, so it didn't take long for him to break away.
Izuku needed to make sure that his belongings were in perfect condition, that is, that they are right where he left them the previous afternoon. If something happened to his letters, he wouldn't have the face to show himself to his boyfriend.
He wouldn't find within himself the strength to do so.
Before leaving he gave Kacchan a quick glance, running his fingers over his slightly rosy cheeks, he smiled and retreated down the stairs.
It should be noted that he ran into Kacchan's mother when he got off the stairs, because she was preparing breakfast in the kitchen and heard him go down the stairs, and after that, she said good morning, to which Izuku corresponded the gesture kindly, warning that he was in a hurry to leave without breakfast.
"Why are you leaving so early, Izuku?" Kacchan's mother asked, puzzled.
Izuku laughed nervously.
"I-I need to go check some things of mine that stayed on the beach" He said. "And I'll leave those things at the residence I've been living in now"
Kacchan's mom seemed to understand him, so she let him leave without a problem.
"Don't worry about Katsuki" She assured. "I tell him that you had to leave because of something important"
"Yes, thank you very much." He smiled gratefully, his cheekbones flushed with pleasure; He made a bow. "I'll be back in the afternoon, so Kacchan doesn't worry."
"Ha." She laughed wryly. "I can control my idiot son, more than fine, so you can come in the time you vacate"
"Thank you very much for your attention and dinner last night was very good" Izuku said quickly. "W-well, have a nice day"
And with that said, he ran out of his boyfriend's house and started off, activating his quirk to get to the beach as fast as possible.
He sighed delighted to see that the weather was good. The sky shone limpid, clear and the air was charged with a gentle and loving breeze, despite the whimsical heat snorting with its rays the incandescent sun catching the city, but without affecting the mood of Izuku, who ran through the streets at impressive speed.
While he was on his way to rescue his belongings, he meditated on the conversation he had with Kacchan in his room, in which he apologized for the mistreatment he gave him throughout childhood and early adolescence, but with apologies you don't repair everything the damage caused, because the scars endured permanently on his skin, on his own weight with which he carried his progress.
The past cannot be repaired. There is simply no way to reconstruct his story filled largely with suffering, pain, and disappointment. Bad stretches that the young Izuku had to go through, who was currently the boyfriend of his tormentor and his childhood friend, but he wasn't not only the boyfriend, but his position as the boyfriend.
He was the boyfriend who stood on top, not below, and that said a lot about his position as a man who has overcome all the obstacles and contenders that were imposed in his daily journey to be a hero.
Izuku knew that repentance was not enough to repair the damage done.
Even the vast immensity was not enough to compensate for the tears shed, the breaks in his heart when he squeezed with each insult, each contempt, each blow, each time everything came close to his body and screaming was not enough to balance the sorrows they used to accompany him on his day to day.
But regretting his outdated memories was a bad option if he wanted to take advantage of his time with his boyfriend, since now that he knew he liked him, he would demonstrate it in his own way since he confessed his feelings.
The panorama became clearer, mimicking the vivid landscape.
He had just arrived at the beach, immediately glimpsing his belongings in the place where he had left them the previous afternoon and as soon as he took them in his hands, he felt the spray of the sea brush his face in a faint and soft deep caress.
His letters, his childhood photographs; everything was there.
Act 29: Demonstrate
How can you show a love from the mouth carved from red rose petals?
How to let him know how much you love him if you can barely whisper a single syllable from his mouth?
The lacking suspicion that the morning broke out with narrow dews and tiles, gave calm to his lucidity of thought and comfort of his harvested feelings.
The blizzard in the morning deafened his ears, covered them and allowed him to hear the subtle sound of the waves as they reached the soft white sand.
The times of being absorbed in his own loneliness were the moments that Izuku enjoyed. He enjoyed them because many times they gave him the certainty or the reaffirmation that other voices didn't give him.
If the words of comfort were obtained by a person outside of yourself, resorting to your own criticism would be an option of little or no beneficial need to satisfy the anguishes that concern the soul.
How to demonstrate to your love, your companion of years, your warmest longings without stumbling over your own nerves?
Is it possible that once you admit your love for that person, it becomes a solid structure, similar to obelisks?
Could it be that things looked clearer than usual when admitting denials?
His doubts paled as the thirst for thought increased; Without looking much into his naked eye, he acknowledged that he did his best the night before by telling Kacchan that he loved him, because it was true. Izuku loved Kacchan, there was no doubt about that.
He didn't question it, because it was a solid and witnessed fact.
Not even being the best bombastic of his acquaintances, he would be daunted when he confessed what he felt for his childhood friend, because it was him.
Demonstrating through actions what he felt, although it was a difficult task to achieve, but not impossible to bear, since he would do his best to make him see how much love letters meant to him for three years in a row.
Each card highlighting a quality or defect of its own, also highlighting its comparisons between being perfect or imperfect.
And when he concluded with himself to make his feelings known through actions, he launched into the residence where he lived temporarily and when he greeted the retired heroes who had already held him in high esteem and affection, he locked himself in his room and he planted the goal of carefully storing his little boxes on the shelf of the bookcase's cabinet, and then he went to take a shower in the bathtub of his room, refreshing himself from his burning head of thoughts and memories moving in quick successions to splice in an order concise.
As he arranged some of his belongings in the bookshelf, he especially emphasized that he felt like he was opening the cover of his head to let out the events that in the past stained his relationship with Kacchan in black. There was a special remembrance that perhaps Kacchan didn't do it with bad intentions, although sometimes it seemed so, but that they were events that at present did not glimpse his mind, didn't obscure it or bend it to a specific solution, on the contrary, they guided him to a dead end of solutions.
Submerging himself in tears and just relying on bad memories wasn't fair on his part, because there were beautiful moments; to mention one, the moment they lived on the last night of the graduation holidays, where he took Kacchan to watch the sunset, and then heard a hasty confession from Kacchan and ended that moment with a kiss.
No, not everything was bad in their relationship.
Many times they had shown appreciation for the other in high-risk situations, or in situations involving imminent danger in which the life of the other was exposed to danger.
Izuku smiled as he dressed in his bedroom, hearing the ringing of his cell phone for the umpteenth time, and he knew who the call was coming from, but he wouldn't answer until he fixed himself well and was confident enough for his next move.
Once dressed, he went down to breakfast with the heroes who were present in the dining room, then went up to his room, took the wallet, the already loaded cell phone and his yellow backpack, and set off for his next goal.
The rays of the sun increased the temperature with the passing of the hours and Izuku continued his journey through Japan in order to obtain what he was looking for throughout the country.
As soon as six o'clock struck, he knew that it had been enough to let his cell phone ring every five minutes from the morning, he attended very aware that he already had the certainty to demonstrate his feelings through actions and that it was call number forty-two of the day by Kacchan. His backpack had the content of his feelings reflected in something palpable.
"Kacchan" He muttered, leaping from one roof to another.
"Where the hell have you been all fucking day, damn Deku?!" He yelled pissed off.
"Busy." He was running across the roof and making another jump to the next roof in another house.
Kacchan groaned, denoting his great anger and concern over his absence during the day.
"You didn't answer my question" He claimed gripped by the deep-seated concern in his voice. "Where have you been?! I told you not to disappear and it's the first thing you do, asshole!"
Izuku almost stumbled over the edge that passed from one roof to another, but he didn't stop to think about what other route was better so that the road was not so difficult to get to, because the road in the middle of the city in motion and with the nuances reddish that indicated that the sunset would arrive soon.
"How much are you doing, idiot?" He claimed again.
Izuku chuckled lightly, picking up the pace of the run.
"Nothing to be alarmed about, Kacchan" He assured.
"You still don't answer my questions, you damn bastard" He said pissed off.
"See you in a while, I'm almost there" He notified excitedly.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Are you at your house, Kacchan?"
"Hah? no"
"Are you out?"
"Where did you want me to be? I've been looking for you all damn day" He said haughty.
"Ah" He articulated, concentrating on his next move.
Izuku propelled himself with a massive leap, arriving in a district relatively close to his.
He assured Kacchan that he would go straight to his house and hung up the call, before hearing his answer.
Izuku smirked, illuminating his facets, knowing that he had little time left to arrive.
How to make him see how much that person meant to you?
The great and the good was summarized in that upon arrival, he would be received with a smile, although in the case of Kacchan he would probably receive the beating of his life for his disappearance that morning.
He would go into the fire with the knowledge that he would face Kacchan, but he would lose nothing with the demonstration of his love in flesh.
He only hoped that Kacchan would welcome him, because if that were his response, Izuku would be overjoyed.
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P.S. This is the penultimate chapter of this story.