Quick disclaimer, this chapter is a bit of a filler plot and it was heavily influenced by my Twitch chat and their donations so flame them for this abomination of a crack chapter which is not canon at ALL! I can almost certainly promise you I will never do one of these again. Don't worry, next chapter will get back into the serious stuff like the USJ. I just kinda needed something to space everything out.

Three days had passed since Izuku's perceived defeat. Since then, class had continued like any normal high school would as the teachers worked out some sort of outline for their students' Hero training. It had been boring and mostly trivial busy work. The stuff that Izuku did not miss from middle school. In fact, the only real interesting event that had taken place was the election for class president.

Izuku, unlike most of the class, chose not to vote for himself, instead choosing to vote for Yaoyorozu. It was something that she became extremely embarrassed over once she figured out who had been responsible for her position as vice-president.

Iida had gotten the role of president after he had displayed a decent chunk of leadership qualities during a sudden campus alarm caused by the media.

By lunch of the fourth day, Izuku was itching for action. "Maybe I should try taking on the Heavenly Gates again when I get home."

"I still refuse to believe this little squirt could take down Shoji," Mina Ashido said, leering at Mineta.

Kyouka Jiro nodded, her backpack jostling as she set it down next to the lunch table, "Who knew an E-Rank could take down a B-Rank."

Mineta gave a smug grin as he crossed his arms, "Oh ye of little faith. I may not have much Mana like you two ladies," He said, his eyebrows waggling, "But my Quirk isn't something to scoff at. In fact, Principal Nezu himself told me that I had one of the best combat support Quirks he'd ever seen."

"Principal Nezu?" Izuku asked, interjecting, "You met him?"

"Of course!"

"So then… is it true?"

Mineta's eyes nearly crossed for a moment, "What?"

Mina caught on quickly and got in Mineta's face, "Is he really an animal?"

"Well…" Mineta trailed off, a smile on his face, "I might tell you, in exchange for something- OW!" A hand smacked the back of his head. Turning around, tears forming in his eyes, Mineta glanced up to Bakugo who had just walked up to their table, "What was-"

"Oi. Midget, don't waste our time." His voice was quiet, but his eyes were murderous.

Jiro sighed at the violence, but her curiosity outweighed her distaste for the two, "Who'd have thought someone like you would be interested in something like this."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Bakugo shouted, his typical behavior resuming.

Izuku shook his head as Yaoyorozu, Uraraka, Iida, and Kirishima slid into their seats at the table.

"H-He's like a Bear, Mouse, Dog hybrid!" Mineta answered after Bakugo continued to shake him around.

Izuku wanted to belt out a laugh at the visual, but also didn't want to do so in front of Bakugo, so he held his tongue.

"How's your lunch, Midoriya?" Yaoyorozu asked, a smile on her face.

He responded with a simple, "Good." Taking note of Uraraka's continued shyness in front of him. "Was she really that embarrassed by Igris? Or is it something else?"

A sudden, "Woah! Woah!" Shook him out of his thoughts and he looked up, surprised to see two upperclassmen attempting to hold back the crazed Bakugo, now just raving at Mineta for no good reason.

It took just a moment for the blond and light-blue haired classmates to separate Bakugo from his victim, their smiles barely wavering, even in the face of his incessant screaming.

Most of the table regarded it with humor or novelty, after all, even though it had only been a week or so at school, Bakugo's raging was now nothing more than a background noise to them.

Iida however, took it extremely seriously, and bowed to the two third years, apologizing profusely.

The blond boy just laughed heartily and held back the struggling Bakugo with one arm like it was nothing. "It's no trouble! Just wanted to help a classmate in need!"

"I don't think he needed help. Isn't that right, Mineta? Ye of little faith."

But the short Hero-in-training was too busy shaking in his seat to answer.

"Oh! Are you the new Class 1-A?!" The girl with light-blue hair asked, "I've wanted to meet you all so much!" The boy rested his hand on her shoulder, "But we've gotta go take care of some internship work! If you wanna learn more about your Quirks, maybe you can join my club!" She shouted after them as her friend dragged her away.

"Come on, we're gonna be late, Nejire."

As they watched the odd exchange between classmates, Mina stood with vigour, "I forgot! Today's Club Rush!"

"Huh?" Even Iida looked shocked, "How long have you known about this?!"

"I heard about the date from a friend who went here before me, but I kinda spaced until now." Mina appeared abashed for a moment before Kirishima changed the topic.

"Well then why don't we go check them out?! There's still a good forty minutes for lunch right?"

Izuku shrugged and followed suit, depositing the remainder of his lunch by a nearby trash can, "I wasn't very hungry to begin with."

Yaoyorozu and Uraraka took no further convincing to abandon what was remaining of their lunch. Jiro only had to see that Yaoyorozu was going in order to join, but Iida stood steadfast, "I haven't even started eating! It's important to get proper nutrit-"

Bakugo snatched him by the collar and began dragging him through the halls behind the rest of the group, giving him no chance to retaliate.

There were the standard clubs, like chess, some sports, and a few language clubs. Or at least, they assumed they were language clubs, because the only response they got upon entering the classroom was, "Zouden jullie ook graag meer willen weten over de Nederlandse taal en cultuur en de bijzondere relatie die Nederland met Japan heeft?!"

Bakugo immediately slammed the doors on the loud students and stomped off, muttering under his breath, "I hate the Dutch."

Izuku had no idea what that was all about, but by the time they had reached the final club classroom, he and his classmates had found themselves uninterested by any of the proposed clubs.

"It's all normie shit!" Bakugo shouted, as he threw open the final door to a dark room and a small "Meow."

"Eh… if it's a napping class, I might be able to get behind that," Mineta said, hopping up to flick on the classroom lights.

But instead of twenty desks taken up by napping students, they found an empty room, save for one small black cat, a white patch of hair surrounding its left eye. The cat purred at them, appearing to look directly at Bakugo as the sound escalated.

Before long, the cat was on its hind legs, its teeth bared and its hackles raised.

Izuku chuckled, "Looks like it really doesn't like you."

Bakugo growled back at the cat, like a lion meeting a cheetah in a dark field at night. What nobody expected next was for the cat to launch across the room, from the teacher's podium, towards Bakugo's face.

Instinctively, the bully raised his hand, sparks crackling off of it as the room screamed at him, "NO!"

But it was too late, and smoke obscured the room as the cat was undoubtedly killed by the explosive attack.

The girls in the room squealed in horror as Iida raised his hand, presumably to chop Bakugo in half with. Meanwhile, Izuku just watched on with curiosity, because while his first thought had been that he'd resurrect the cat when no one was looking for Yaoyorozu's sake, he knew that would no longer be possible. Not because the body was too mangled or because Izuku had yet to tell the rest of the world about his power to bring back the dead, but because it wasn't dead just yet.

"Meow."

The room froze, their panicked actions ceasing with that one tiny sound.

"There's no way… right?"

Yaoyorozu directed a mildly distressed glance at Izuku, as if to check to make sure he hadn't used his power on it. He only answered with a slight shake of his head.

At first, they assumed it was a weak meow, a cry of pain, moments before death. But once again, they were disproven as the black cat strutted out from the smoke, its body completely clean and free of harm.

Surprisingly, Jiro jumped up to one of the tables in shock, a bit of her superstitious personality taking over. "M-M-M-Maybe Bakugo just missed!"

"No way!" He shouted back, offended that anyone would accuse him of such a thing. "It's a cat! Not All Might! I'm not gonna miss him!"

Izuku crouched down to the cat that everyone was beginning to fear. Maybe it was because he had seen too many unbelievable things before, or maybe because he simply knew the reality that life after death was possible that he didn't freak like the others.

He held out a hand to the cat, who sniffed him a moment before nuzzling up against his palm. Her purrs returned to a calm and gentle noise gracing his ears.

"Th-That's not right," Jiro muttered, "It's bad luck for a black cat to like you so much."

Mina and Yaoyorozu appeared to be the only other two that snapped out of their shock and bent down to pet the cat, who purred even louder in satisfaction.

"I never knew pussies were this hairy," Mina said, enjoying the soft fur of the cat as Yaoyorozu self-consciously brought her legs closer together.

"Ah! I was wondering what was going on here!" A quiet, yet oddly commanding voice echoed from the door. Izuku's eyes widened as he realized there was a small, upright, white animal standing in the doorway, about Mineta's height.

"Principal Nezu!"

"I told you!" Mineta screamed at Bakugo, the rest of his courage thrown into the shout.

"It appears you've met my old friend, Aho the cat. She tends to get herself killed quite often," He said it as if that explained everything and he picked her up, "Well, have a good rest of your day students! And stay out of trouble!"

"Okay?"

"So we're in agreement?" Jiro asked.

"Yep," Bakugo said, growling his way out of the room, "Let's just pretend like this day never happened."

Thanks for reading this crazy-ass chapter that I wrote on stream, with donations, while I was sick and slightly sleep-deprived. If that doesn't explain why this thing is cracked out of its mind, I don't know what is. Just to reiterate, this isn't canon, none of this happened in the story and is basically just here for jokes. See you next time!