Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost
Written by: LittleRedToyota and SabbatSpiral
Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters of TTTE. They all belong to Mattel.
Author's note: This story is based on a twisted RP, edited for publishing as we thought the story turned out interesting. The story took turns we didn't expect or had planned, so watch out for major triggers such as sexual abuse, swearing, violence and gore.
We also apologize for any grammar errors and typos we might have overlooked in the editing process.
Chapter 19
-next morning-
Arry had for once in a long time, slept the entire night without waking up from nightmares, though he had been clinging to "Molly" at the peak of the worst dreams.
Despite this, he felt rested as he woke up by Bert more or less falling out of the top bed, cursing as he landed on the floor with a bang before stumbling to the bathroom.
Arry chuckled a bit, knowing his brother probably had one hell of a hangover and would feel sorry for himself all day. Then he turned to give Molly a morning kiss, but froze as he saw Stepney, for a brief second wondering what was going on before he remembered last night. Molly wasn't there, and Bert had brought a girl home, Stepney slept in his bed as there was no other place.
Nope! No morning kiss!
Instead he sat up, rubbing his eyes, and stretching.
"Mornin', Terrier." he yawned.
Stepney's face was near grey in the morning light and a few tear strains could be seen over his cheeks. His eyes half closed and glassy but clearly still awake was set on the kitchen door.
"Good morning…" came the fragile reply.
Bruises were already obvious on Stepney's pale skin, faint but there.
"You look terrible." Arry said brutally honest as he rubbed the sleep out of his own eyes.
"Have you been crying? Because of Bert and...?" Arry looked up and motioned with his head to the top bed, he just assumed it wasn't easy for Stepney to witness Bert getting it on with someone else.
"No, no... Just... Just a bad night. You know how it is." Stepney gave him a shaky smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Nightmares are rough."
"Yeah, I do..." Arry's face darkened by the mention of nightmares. For some reason it saddened him knowing that Stepney also had to suffer those.
"It's ok... I'll be alright..." Stepney's voice wasn't convincing. Turning, Stepney's face was very clearly apologetic.
"I'm sorry about last night, I know it was uncomfortable for you. I'll find another place if Bert's..." he paused, a slightly sour note entering his tone. "…companion stays."
"She'll probably be out of here after breakfast." Arry shrugged. "One-night stands never stay long. And this one hardly seems like Bert's type... she's not a keeper. Try to get a few more minutes of sleep. I'll make breakfast, that will surely scare her away. I think last night was worse for you than me. I was too tired."
Arry crawled over Stepney to get out of bed, letting the smaller man get the whole bed to himself. He pulled the blanket over Stepney, a gesture that even surprised himself. His eyes fell on Stepney's bruises and he frowned.
"Uhh... those look fresh. Was Bert rough when he chased you out of bed last night?"
Stepney's eyes couldn't meet Arry's as he snuggled down under the blankets.
"No, no... Bert was fine... I just... slipped down the ladder. My own fault."
It was obviously not true; the bruises were too obvious shaped like handprints and lined his arms too neatly for a fall.
"Hm..." Arry frowned but didn't follow up.
If Stepney didn't want to tell, he wasn't one to pry deeper. He walked over to the tiny kitchen to display his complete lack of cooking skills, hopefully impressing Bert's guest so much she would flee the place faster than they could blink.
Gradually as Stepney watched Arry cook and the familiar hideous smells of his cooking wafted over, sleep settled over him now too exhausted to fight it.
"... You clearly love Molly very deeply..." it was the last thought that managed to verbalize itself before he sank into a deep sleep.
The girl from the night before crept down from the top bed, blushing in shame as she gathered all her clothes and got dressed, seemingly having no interest in interacting with anyone.
Bert came out of the bathroom, looking extremely hungover. He sat down in the bed Stepney was sleeping in, trying not to wake him up, rubbing his forehead and feeling incredibly sorry for himself.
"I'm never gonna drink again..." he groaned.
"You say that every time you're hungover." Arry replied as he brought the foul-smelling food over to the small table.
"This time, I mean it..." Bert whimpered and cringed as the scent of the food hit his senses.
"No, you don't." Arry snorted, taking a bite of the terribly burnt toasts.
Stepney half asleep curled up against Bert's back, his scent slightly soured from sleep but still pleasantly musky to him. It blocked out even the burning bread and eggs Arry was preparing for breakfast. The weight that bent the mattress was reassuring, it was everything Stepney's mind wanted in that moment; Bert and nothing else.
A slight gagging noise from the woman as she took a bite, broke Stepney's drifting forcing his consciousness upwards. An eye cracked open, vision blurred behind his lashes. The shadow cast by Bert blocked the sunlight, his body half bent over. Curling closer Stepney brushed his hand over Bert's back, blinking sleepily.
"Good morning."
"I find nothing good about this morning..." Bert mumbled, his head pounding painfully and his stomach not agreeing to the smell, or rather stench, of Arry's cooking.
He lifted his head to see the woman he had slept with fleeing the place without saying goodbye. She didn't look as pretty today as she did last night, with her make-up smeared all over her face and her hair a complete mess.
"God damn..." Bert mumbled as he had to rush back to the bathroom and bend over the toilet again. Oh, how he regretted drinking that much...
Stepney's heart wanted to follow Bert into the bathroom, rub his back and reassure him that he was safe and alright but the bruises over his body tweaked painfully as he moved. Instead he waited for Bert to return, easing himself up to put a blanket around Bert's shoulders.
"Maybe some water then and a painkiller?"
"Thanks, Step..." Bert mumbled as Stepney put the blanket around him, he felt utterly miserable.
Arry came over, this time with cereal and milk instead of his burnt food. He put it in front of the two, before sitting on the crate they used as an extra chair.
"Told you my cooking would scare her off." he chuckled to Stepney.
Stepney surprisingly smiled back with a soft laugh. "Must be the type who only has a diet bar and green smoothie for breakfast."
He rubbed Bert's back sympathetically, pulling out a painkiller from his kit and handing it to Bert.
"Don't worry... A day off is probably what the doctor ordered, especially given how much work you've done on the garden and at work. Have some rest."
"Speaking about the garden... I found a strange plant. Here..." Arry pulled out his phone showing a photo to Stepney. "Have any idea what it is? Should we keep it, or should I pull it up and toss it away?"
Bert took a handful of dry cereals, munching it before laying down in Arry's bed, drifting off to sleep again.
Stepney took a sip of the orange juice handed to him by Arry, looking at the photo closely. His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, choking on his juice. Coughing a bit, Stepney set the cup down, wiping his mouth.
"That… I'm afraid that is a deadly nightshade and that is extremely toxic. One or two of those berries are enough to kill a small child... A handful will kill an adult." Stepney shifted allowing Bert to curl up.
He took the phone from Arry with a look of deep concern, brows furrowed.
"Unfortunately, we can't bin it. It is a protected species. It was at one point considered a pest but now its protected due to its decline. We can repot it and keep it far away from the children when they are old enough."
"So, we better fence it in then, so nobody will accidentally be tempted to eat the berries?" Arry said, frowning.
He didn't really like the thought of having such a dangerous plant in their garden, considering his and Molly's child would likely play out there.
"Repotting would be ideal but we can fence it too." Stepney nodded.
He looked out at the garden that while brown, was starting to bear the results of their work. Onions, potatoes, leeks, carrots; all were beginning to sprout with rhubarb and a sapling apple off to one side.
Primrose stalked a squirrel that sat on the top of the fence, her yellow fur gleaming in the sunlight.
"I can fix that later. Molly should come over soon, so we can get a little more work done." Arry said with a smile.
He had finally started to think of the future as a bit brighter, not as haunted by his past as he used to be. He was starting to think he could get over his trauma and build a new future with Molly and their child. And of course, Bert... and Stepney...?
"How is she, I know the false contractions were getting a bit much for her. Are they going to induce or is the hospital fine letting it wait itself out." Stepney asked, grabbing a bowl of cereal.
"She's not due yet, so I guess they're going to wait a little while longer." Arry said. "She's seemingly doing fine, but I know she doesn't want to burden me, so she might be trying to hide things..."
Stepney nodded, extending a concerned but sympathetic look to him.
"She's strong. I think she'll be fine and is just wanting to stop you from worrying yourself half to death."
"I'll always worry about her... and I still think she deserves a better guy than me, but it's me she has chosen, so I have to try my best." Arry said, a shadow ghosting over his face briefly. He still felt inferior to Molly, like he was unworthy of her.
Stepney gave Arry a pointed look, eyebrow arched with disapproval.
"You know what Molly would say if she heard you say that. She'd say you were the most beautiful diamond in the rough and wouldn't trade you for the world."
"Love makes blind..." Arry smiled sadly. "But I am glad she chose me; my life is definitely better with her in it. Falling in love with someone who loves you back... it's a treasure one shouldn't waste. I need to cherish it."
Stepney's looked turned back into a smile, this time no apprehension as he reached out to Arry's hand but stopped just shy of touching so that he could decide if he wanted the contact.
"And she chose incredibly well in my opinion. I'm not sure if there was someone who could love her as much as you do."
For a moment, Stepney's gaze turned to Bert, fast asleep beside him. His eyes were so soft that for a moment it was as if he were about to cry.
Arry looked down at Stepney's hand reaching for his, but he wasn't quite ready for touches yet, so he just smiled friendly instead. Then he watched how Stepney looked at Bert. Those two clearly had strong feelings for each other... What was holding them back?
Now that Scott was out of the picture, nothing stood between them... except that God Stepney believed so firmly in. But how could God think that something as pure as the love between Stepney and Bert was an ugly, dirty sin...? Arry shook his head to himself. A God like that was not worth believing in.
Stepney quietly pulled his gaze away from Bert's sleeping form, the urge to curl into him getting stronger. He looked up at Arry.
"Why can't I let him go? I'm supposed to, but I can't. Every time I sit down with him or brush near him, all I want is him. Why is it I can't do the one thing I was told I should? I've done everything that they asked of me, why can't I do this?"
"Love doesn't ask for permission." Arry stated, looking at his brother sleeping. "You love him, and you know he feels the same way about you, that's why you can't let him go... Because despite what that weird God of yours say, you know that you and Bert belong together... I don't understand what's holding you back?"
Stepney sighed.
"You've clearly never been part of a religion. It's not just something you can give up when it suits you, it's not like a jacket you can take on and off... It's a part of you and it shapes how you perceive the world. I love Bert... But when I know my religion, the thing that I have held close to my heart since I was a child, says its wrong... It's... Hard to let go."
"Then let go of my brother so he can move on. If that religion of yours means more to you than him, then stop having him lingering in the hope that you someday will return his affection." Arry murmured. "I once believed in God... but he never listened to my prayers, and I never asked for much, he allowed me to be beaten and abused as a child, what kind of God does that to a small kid? So, I abandoned him. If he isn't there for me, I won't be there for him, or her or whatever gender God is."
Stepney's pained expression and crumpled shoulders spoke volumes.
"I'm trying to let go... What do you think I've been doing; but my heart won't stop even though I've told it to." He suddenly straightened hearing Arry's confession properly. Big sorrowful eyes, full of pain reached out to him. "... I'm so sorry. That should never have happened to you. No child should ever go through that."
"That's your almighty, merciful God..." Arry said, bitterness dripping from his voice. "I took it as proof that he don't exist. Like you said... a child shouldn't go through such."
He looked over at Bert, wondering how much his brother had gone through. He had tried to protect him, tried to take the blow for him, but what if they had managed to harm him anyway... Arry shook his head, he didn't want to think of that, he just hoped Bert had been spared.
"I hope... no... never mind..." he clammed up, looking out of the window instead.
"Please... Tell me. I'm listening." Stepney's eyes never left him.
"No, it was nothing..." Arry said, spacing out as he stared out of the window, lost in thought.
"It's never nothing with you... You deserve to have someone listen."
"Not even God listened to me, why would anyone want to listen now?" Arry mused, his eyes looking dull and distant. "Molly listens to me... That's all I need."
He turned to Stepney again, nailing him with his deep brown eyes. "If you want to listen to someone... you should start by listening to your heart."
Stepney's eyes widened. His look transformed into transfixed shock, but all the sadness and concern bled away as the thoughts were set reeling from Arry's response.
Arry stood up, briefly putting a hand on Stepney's shoulder, giving it a mild, friendly squeeze before going outside to start the day, walking to work.
"... Thank you." Stepney's quiet response is almost inaudible but most definitely there.
Arry drew a breath of fresh air as he came outside, smiling. For the first time in a long time, he was optimistic. He and Molly could build a new life, he would put everything behind him. Even if he had to pay that fine to Scott, they would make it. He would work extra shifts; they would live off the land and save money where they could. He and his little family.
Bert rolled over, opening his eyes, groaning against his headache, full of regrets over last night's drinking.
"You think I'm a filthy sinner, don't you?" he whimpered to himself as he noticed Stepney.
Stepney looked at him shocked, spluttering as he tried form the words in response.
"No! Of course, not... Well, technically we are all sinners, requiring baptism and confession to purify our souls for heaven but... That's beside the point. You aren't Catholic."
"Drinking heavy and having sex with random people... what kind of life is that?" Bert mumbled in self-pity, hugging himself. "You don't have to lie to avoid hurting me... I know you think I'm a sinner. Not only do I drink and have sex outside marriage, but I'm head over heels in love with a man too..."
Stepney swallowed awkwardly knowing full well that Bert would be condemned for his lifestyle and advised to change, become chaste and moderate... And of course, most importantly: straight. The kind of life Stepney led. Stepney flinched at that last part.
"I'm not lying. You aren't Catholic, the rules don't apply to you..."
He looked at Bert all huddled on the bed and stroked his arm in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "And anyway, you probably think I'm boring and snobbish..."
"No..." Bert wailed, tearing up. All he wanted was to pull Stepney down and hold him and be close to him. "...I love you."
Stepney looked at him helplessly. Those wailed words stabbed him like knives in the heart and for once that swell of emotions overrode the dictates of the church. Slipping down, he tucked himself into Bert's arms. Nuzzling his face into Bert's neck, Stepney sighed, eyes closing.
"Then please don't hate yourself." He whispered.
"I... don't. But I fear you do..." Bert choked out, trying not to cling to hard to Stepney.
His heart beating so hard for the small man in his arms, he couldn't help but bury one of his hands in Stepney's soft, blonde curls, letting his fingers toy with the silky strands. His breathing strained as he fought against tears and his strong feelings. He loved so strong and so much... and not being allowed to do so. This was torture and pleasure at the same time.
Stepney reached up, thumbing away the tears from Bert's face while blinking away his own.
"Shhhhh… I could never hate you, Bert; you're kind, gentle, loving and so devoted... How could anyone hate you?"
Feeling Bert's hand in his hair, he snuggled back leaning into the touch so that he could feel more of the tender touch.
"... but not love me..." Bert said, barely audible, desperately cuddling Stepney as much as he could while he had the chance, fearing to be pushed away any moment. One hand toyed with Stepney's hair, the other held him tight. Bert's face having a pained expression. His heart felt like an open wound, naked and vulnerable.
Stepney tensed up, his own heart screaming at him to confess just how much he needed Bert... How much he couldn't bear to be so close and yet without him... How much jealousy burned when he saw the women come and go. Stepney curled close, hand twisted tight into the t-shirt, eyes scrunched.
"Bert... Please..."
Bert thought Stepney wanted him to stop, so he moved a bit away, curling into himself to protect himself from the heartache.
"I... I'm sorry... I went too far... again..." he yelped; his voice thick from suppressed tears. "I try... I try to get over you... but I... fail... my heart belongs to you, Stepney. Only you..."
"No, no, no." Stepney squirmed in tighter, refusing to be moved from Bert, heart now doing most of the talking.
He couldn't let go. Let go and he'd lose Bert forever. Stepney clung to him as if his life depended on it, his own tears now spilling.
"No, don't let go." he pleaded.
"But..." Bert took him back into his arms, desperately wanting to kiss him, but didn't dare.
Instead his lips brushed over Stepney's forehead, trembling from the strain over holding back his feelings. He was confused and desperate. Confused as to why Stepney acted like this when he didn't want to be with him...
"You're... confusing me..." he yelped, face buried in Stepney's neck, his lips resting against the thin skin, he could feel Stepney's pulse against his lips.
Stepney whimpered, tears now pouring.
"I'm confused too... I'm not supposed to be gay, but I want you so much that it hurts my bones. I love you, Bert... I love you so, so much." his whole body shook with the force of the confession half muffled by the fabric of Bert's shirt.
Now Bert failed at holding back, he cupped Stepney's face, kissing him desperately, unable to think clear or ponder over consequences. His heart pounded hard and painful in his chest, and he could taste their tears in the kiss.
Stepney kissed back, frantically. All the emotion built up over months just surged forward into that one deep kiss. He was barely aware of what his body was doing, the tidal waves of pain, desire, love, and joy just slammed into his consciousness. It was breathtaking.
Bert pressed Stepney against himself, as if trying to melt together with him, not breaking the kiss, which seemed to get deeper and deeper. There were no thoughts present in his mind, and the only thing existing in the world was them, in the bed, entangled. His body reacted to the intimacy, but he didn't press further, all he needed was this kiss to last forever.
Stepney's legs tangled with Bert's, his small fragile frame surprisingly strong as he tugged Bert on top of him. Arms slipped around his neck holding that beautiful kiss in place. His lungs screamed but they could shrivel and die for all Stepney cared. If he was to die, then this moment couldn't be more perfect.
Bert swallowed hard as Stepney pulled him on top, pressing the smaller man into the mattress of Arry's bed. He tried not to crush him, holding himself up, but still having his arms around Stepney and not breaking the kiss. Their bodies grinding together as they kissed, deep and desperate.
"Stepney..." he breathed between kisses, just the name was enough to play tender strings in his heart, the most beautiful music.
The feeling was so intense it almost made him cry, he buried his face in the crook of Stepney's neck, feeling the pulse, strong and steady against his lips.
Stepney suddenly pushed him away and slipped off the bed, buttoning up his shirt again.
"No, Bert... Not now."
He ran a hand through his curls trying to straighten them out.
"You need to get to work, Bert... The bills aren't going to pay themselves." he said sternly.
Bert was a trembling mess, but his self-hate hit him full force, he pulled the blanket over his face to hide his shame and the tears rolling down his face. He felt an intense need to hurt himself. Once again, he had violated Stepney... gone too far... and he hated himself for it.
He threw the blanket aside, pulling his clothes on with aggressive movements, hurting himself on the zipper in the process, swearing as he put the bleeding finger in his mouth to soothe the pain. Then he marched to the kitchen, grabbing some random food to take to work as lunch. He slammed the door hard as he left, the door frame shaking.
Oh, how he hated himself for being such a horny jerk. Maybe he should consider getting himself castrated, then the problem would be solved, and he wouldn't push himself on anyone ever again.
He more or less ran down the street to the ironworks despite his hangover, work would help him forget.
Stepney sighed knowing he had hurt Bert, but a part of him still rebelled at the thought of fully giving into his desires. He needed time. Why couldn't Bert see that?
Feeling the hot tears roll down his face, Stepney walked into the kitchen to put more food into Primrose's bowl. The orange cat meowed in sympathy climbing up onto Stepney's shoulders to nuzzle sweetly.
"I didn't mean to hurt him, Primmy. I'm just not ready."
Primrose meowed in response, bumping her head against Stepney's cheek.
The purring soothed the stress building in his chest, wondering if he had completely ruined his chances with Bert.
Why couldn't he just let Bert go?
To be continued….
Stepney: SabbatSpiral
Molly: SabbatSpiral
Arry: LittleRedToyota
Bert: LittleRedToyota