I would very much like to point out that unless you have red eyes yourself, there is no surer way to be struck by lightning than to go around referring to Crimson Demons as "Crimsons." We can use that word to refer to ourselves. The rest of you would be well advised to keep a civil tongue in your heads. Kazuma, of course, was the one exception. And he earned it. -NS

They say there is a sucker born every minute, but when we signed Iris and Yuki up for the doubles Gauntlet, I watched several hundred be created all at once. Many of them sniggered at the idea of a cute noble girl from a foreign land and her domestic entering a gladiatorial match. A few seemed to be generally aware of the fact that, by and large, Belzerg nobles are utterly terrifying, but even they were taken in by the frilly pink dress and red ribbons in Iris's blonde locks.

I had coached her that this was exactly the reaction we wanted, so she only giggled cutely and fluttered her eyelashes at the crowd, instead of pulling out one of the many weapons she keeps on herself, or using her bare hands and spells to eviscerate them all. I would be doing that later, only to their pocketbooks.

Still, the tournament wasn't until the next day, so we had some time to kill. I was going to simply hit the gambling tables again, but Yunyun suggested we go see the menagerie. I quickly agreed to go, as that sounded like a way to scout out the competition, but to my shock none of the others wished to accompany us.

"Yuki and I are going to a boxing match!" Iris said eagerly. "It sounds quaint, but I hear this 'Wind God' will be taking on the 'Gearless Joe', and both are said to be skilled fighters! You should come with us!"

"I don't think Yunyun really wants to go see a boxing match," Eris said. "You two go have fun. As for me, I believe the casino could stand to be relieved of a little more coin. I haven't played roulette in a while. Who knows? Perhaps I shall even lose a time or two."

That left Yunyun and I alone. Trying not to blush, I offered her my arm. "Well, shall we? I am rather interested in the fauna of this world. I've spent a great deal of time killing it, yet I know almost nothing about its biology."

"Oh!" Yunyun said, slipping her arm into mind. "Um, well, I know a lot! In the Crimson Demon Village, we have to study all sorts of animals. Um, mostly so we can kill them. B-but there are lots of creatures that aren't really monsters! I'll show you!"

While a great many of the creatures in the casino's zoo were, in fact, horrifying monstrosities I was all too familiar with due to the fact that our party had indiscriminately slaughtered them, there were a large collection of far gentler critters as well. Most of them were variations on more mundane creatures I was familiar with back home, but several stuck out to me.

The most obvious one was the Farfetch'd, or, as Yunyun called it, a "duxen." It looked exactly like a pokemon, and my only disappointment was that it quacked instead of saying "duxen" or better yet, "farfetch'd." The thing was cute though, and it was funny to see Yunyun blush and go over all the taxonomic information about it.

"They're really rare, mostly because, um, well, they're worth a lot of XP despite being easy to kill. And, well, they do sort of taste really good. N-not that I think you should kill and eat them! It's just, well, Megumin had already killed it, and, er, well, she is a pretty good cook, and I would have felt bad not to at least try it. Komekko did eat most of it though."

"Next you'll be telling me you have pidgey and caterpie here too. Perhaps a tauros?" I teased.

Yunyun looked at me sideways. "Um, no? There are pigeons and caterpillars. And tauros is just what they call a bull here in Elroad. Are those animals from Japan?"

"In a manner of speaking, I suppose. We have a creature similar to the duxen, but, well, it's made up. I never thought I'd see a real one. Tell me about these other creatures. Do you have them in the Crimson Demon Village?"

In the end, we ended up going to dinner together at one of the luxury restaurants at the Paden-Paden, talking about our past lives. Yunyun shared all sorts of interesting details about the Crimson Demon Village, and fostered my first suspicions that there was a lot more to the Clan than I had thought. I shared a few details of Japanese culture, which Yunyun found rather intriguing as well.

"I almost wish I had grown up in Japan," Yunyun sighed. "I mean, I would miss my magic, but...life there sounds so peaceful. And, well, there's a place for all sorts of people. Even...even someone like me…"

"Well, you seem to have found a place here, haven't you? With us, I mean. Plus, you're to be the next Chieftess of your clan. At least you have a retirement plan," I said, sipping at my champagne. Honestly, I was only drinking it because it was expensive, and, well, I wanted to show off a little for Yunyun. Personally, I prefer a good ale.

"Um, can I tell you something?" Yunyun said, fiddling with her own glass. She quickly drained it, flushing even redder than she had been. "I...I don't think I'm going to make a very good Chief. I think...I think maybe Megumin should do it. She's, well, she's really good at the whole chunibyo thing, and that's really important to our people. I'm just...I'm not."

"Are you mad?! Megumin?! Your village would be a crater inside a week!" I gasped. I quickly poured both of us another glass, and downed mine. Yunyun looked flustered and angry, so I continued. "Look, a leader needs a lot of things, but an understanding of cool poses and gothic poetry is pretty damn far down the list."

"But not to Crimson Demons! Posing and chants are vital!" Yunyun protested, clutching her glass in one hand as the other rumpled the tablecloth with her fidgeting.

"I'm not saying those are worthless, I'm saying that as their leader, you have to be able to look past all of that to the future of the Clan," I pointed out. "What is it that your people need to succeed? How are they treated by the rest of the world? What can you do to improve their lives? That's more than making them chuni-er than they are."

"But...but I want them all to be my friends. And, well, to like me. Isn't that...is that what a leader needs? You're our leader because we all like you…"

"I'm your leader because people won't leave me alone," I muttered. Yunyun didn't seem to understand, so I elaborated, "I'm the leader more by accident than anything else. Really, it should be Eris, don't you think? Or perhaps the royal princess. Or the ultra powerful mage who is heir to the chief's chair."

"Really? But, well, none of us really know what to do. I mean, I'm really bad at making friends...and Iris, well, um, she's nice but...she really needs you to keep her from getting us all killed. And Eris, um, I don't know. Maybe she's sad because she's not in the Divine Realm because of that thing with Chris? But she's never really stepped up to lead…"

"See? There you go. But you're the one who keeps me in line. After all, I probably would have let us all die in the Destroyer trying to get that coronatite, which was fairly dumb as the reward for destroying it was two billion anyway." Still would have been really nice to have that extra billion kicking around. I mean, I don't need the money, but it would have been nice.

That made Yunyun smile. "You...you really think you need me, Kazuma?"

"If it weren't for you, I'd have turned back into a good for nothing NEET," I said.

And that was when I realized it. I actually didn't want to be a NEET again. Staying at home and sleeping all day or playing games had lost its appeal. Sure, I didn't really want to go out and challenge world ending monsters, either. But going places with my friends, and doing things like visiting Elroad? It was actually rather pleasant. If I'd just been a NEET, I wouldn't have had the wonderful few weeks of travel, enjoyed a relaxing evening with a charming young woman, or shared a meal with a dear friend.

Eris is one conniving goddess, let me tell you. I half suspect she planned all this when I think back on it, which is simply ludicrous. Even she's not that lucky and insightful. Right?

This was also when I accepted that I was just as mad as everyone else in Belzerg, and I may as well simply roll with it. I wasn't going to seek out any generals of the Devil King (not that I ever needed to, despite tales to the contrary) nor would I ever willingly embark on a kill quest. But, well, I was fond of my four companions. Bloodthirsty maniac, irate goddess, wacky mage, and gender confused sadist they might be, but they were my friends. And, well, much like Yunyun, I'd never had any before.

Which was why I started blubbering like a baby. I mean, I could lie and say it was the alcohol I'd been ingesting, but as I'm the only one who is likely to ever read this, what's the point? I think this was also the point where I realized I'd actually been done a favor when I was brought to Belzerg. I'd come home, though it took me a while to realize it.

Next thing I knew, Yunyun was out of her chair with her arms around me. "Are you OK, Kazuma?"

"No," I admitted. "I...Yunyun…" I looked at her eyes, so full of compassion, and it hurt. I didn't deserve her sympathy. Not after how I'd treated her. "There's something I have to tell you."

"What?"

I licked my lips, and I made ready to spill the beans on everything. To bear my soul utterly to Yunyun.

Which is why I'm eternally grateful and irritated that the Idiot picked that moment to show up. There were gasps around the restaurant, and Yunyun and I jerked apart as Crown Prince Ivar strode in, fanked by his flunkies. One of which I recognized as the shark from my poker game the day before. They pointed at me, and Ivar grinned and strode up.

"Ah, the Hero of Belzerg himself! Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"You seem to have mistaken me for someone else," I said, frowning as I looked up at the man. He's always been tall, unlike his little brother, and also unlike Ravi, he's an idiot. "I'm Gonbei Nanashi. This is Arue, of the Crimson Demon Clan, my fiancée. I'm merely a humble tourist, looking for a bit of gambling."

"Oh?" Ivar frowned, and glanced at the tall, thin man in elabore robes to his right. The minister visibly held back a sigh, and leaned in to whisper something into Ivar's ear. "Well, but he says he's not Kazuma!"

"He's lying, your highness," the minister sighed. "The question is, why is the Hero of Belzerg here?"

"Oh, right!" Ivar turned back to me, scowling. "Why are you here?"

"To rob you blind," I said blithely.

"Ah-ha! Well then, we can arrest you at once!"

"-by winning at some high stakes gambling," I finished.

Ivar blinked. "Oh. But that's legal." He turned back to his minister. "I can't arrest him for winning! We just kick him out if he wins too much." He turned back to me. "How much have you won so far?"

"I'm up about 500,000," I answered helpfully.

Ivar rolled his eyes. "That's nothing. There's this woman who won 50,000,000 today. If she hadn't gone on a cold streak at the end there, she could have kept it all. As it is, she only kept 1,000,000 and donated 9,000,000 to the Church. Can hardly kick her out if she's going to be that popular with the state religion now can I?"

"SHE DID WHAT?!" I gasped in horror, hand to my chest.

"Shhhh, you and I might know it's foolish, but these religious fanatics are everywhere. Ragecraft has been very helpful in showing me how damaging the Erisites are to our society," Ivar whispered to me in a conspiratorial tone.

Goddess bless the man. How Elroad has managed to stay solvent all these years, I'll never know.

"Your highness, perhaps we should take this conversation somewhere less public?" Ragecraft whispered.

"Oh, right." Ivar turned and strode off briskly, his flunkies following behind, save for Ragecraft, who this time sighed audibly. That made the prince pause mid stride, and turn around, looking curiously at his Prime Minister.

"The gentleman we came to interview, your highness?" Ragecraft said pleasantly. Honestly, the man had the patience of a saint. Whatever he actually was.

"Oh! Yes. Um, you. Gonbei, right? Well, come along. We need to have a chat."

I sighed and looked to Yunyun, who looked nearly as confused as I was. "Well, I suppose we'd best go see what the bother is about."

We stood and followed Ivar to a private room, where he slumped into a couch and frowned at me. "So, the Hero of Belzerg, eh? What are you doing here, Kazuma? Ragecraft tells me we don't need the sort of trouble you seem to bring wherever you go."

"Don't bother lying, Kazuma," Ragecraft said, taking up a place at Ivar's side and frowning at us. "We know who you are. Prince Ravi saw you in Belzerg, and he's just returned. His description of you and your companions matches exactly."

I shrugged and glanced at Yunyun. "What do you think? Could you blast your way out of here?"

Yunyun nodded seriously, conjuring up a ball of flame in her hand. "There are not too many of them. We could get to Iris and Yuki without too much trouble, then teleport home."

"W-Wait!" Ivar gasped, jumping up off the couch. "There's no need for that! We just, um, what did we want, again, Ragecraft?"

Ragecraft sighed. "We wanted to ensure that Mr. Kazuma and his companions were not here to disrupt the tranquility of Elroad, your highness."

"Oh right, that. Yes. You're not here to cause trouble, are you?" Ivar demanded.

"I'm here to relax for a bit after all that strenuous monster hunting," I said with a shrug. "My companions have their own reasons."

"Indeed," Ragecraft said, his eyes narrowing. "What of Princess Iris? Why is she here?"

"She heard about the Gauntlet. She's only ever killed a very small dragon. She wishes to take on an Elder Wyrm," I explained.

Ragecraft blinked. "Really? The fight pits? That's why she's here?"

"Why else would she come?" I asked with a shrug.

"I thought perhaps," Ragecraft muttered, but he shook his head. "Very well. I suppose that's not a problem. We shall try to make sure she survives the fight pits. No promises, those monsters are vicious, but we'll try to stack the deck in her favor. But things can happen, you understand. You don't plan on personally competing?"

I shook my head. "The only competing I plan to do is at the poker table, or perhaps I shall branch out to pachinko."

"What about her, the Crimson?" Ivar demanded.

Yunyun let out a snarl, and there was a hiss as the ball of fire in Yunyun's hand suddenly grew in heat and intensity. "What did you say, outsider?!"

"He meant no offense, please," Ragecraft said, stepping between Yunyun and the prince and spreading his hands. "We merely wish to know what the heir to the Crimson Demon Clan is doing here. I had heard that Kazuma Sato was...uninterested in female companionship. But now you claim to be engaged?"

Yunyun's fire suddenly winked out, and she let out a stifled gasp. "We, just, um, well, we were-"

"A simple lie. We're quite close, but not that close I'm afraid," I said, putting a calming hand on Yunyun's twitching shoulder. "To maintain the disguise, you see."

"Yes! A disguise! Just a disguise!" Yunyun stammered, her face redder than her eyes. "A-and I'm here, because my friends are! I'm not very good at gambling…"

Ragecraft studied both of us, then nodded. "Very well. I think we're done here, your highness."

"We are? We're not arresting them?" Ivar asked, sounding puzzled and relieved.

"If the Princess of Belzerg wishes to challenge our fighting pits, let her. I'm certain she'll give us a good show," Ragecraft said, giving me a pleasant smile. His eyes, however, were ice. I realized then he actually thought Iris was in serious danger from the Gauntlet. Was he an idiot? No, no he wasn't. He just thought I had been the one to defeat the Destroyer and Beldia.

Just goes to show you, the smarter you think you are, the more likely you are to be fooled by your own cleverness.

"Well, do try to go easy on my little sister. Her father would be upset if she were hurt, after all," I agreed, laughing as Ivar's flunkies showed us from the room.

"Wait, Ragecraft, would Belzerg go to war if Iris were killed?" Ivar asked as we left.

"Don't be silly. She's a spare, like your brother. At worst, we'd have to pay reparations. It would hardly drag the country into war," Ragecraft chuckled.

And obviously Ragecraft didn't know old Melarc very well. I'm fairly certain if something had happened to Iris, Elroad would have envied the tender mercies Vespasian visited on Jerusalem by the time Melarc had been through. And then he would have brought in his army.

After that, Yunyun and I enjoyed a stroll through the gardens, then it was time for bed. Iris and Yuki returned from the boxing match, with Iris babbling excitedly about how Ippo had defeated Junkdog, or however it turned out, while Eris just looked at me smugly, leaning against the wall.

"I can't believe you lost forty million," I told her, pausing at my door.

"Hmm?" Eris blinked, then shrugged. "Oh, that. Well, I didn't want them to kick me out on only the second day. And how was dinner?"

"Had a most interesting conversation with Prince Ivar and his minister," I told Eris. "It seems we've been noticed."

Apparently, that took Eris by surprise. "You did? But I thought-hmm. Ivar? He's the older one, not so bright. Hardly ever says his prayers. None of the royal family here is terribly devout."

"Well, I can confirm he's not all that smart. His minister, Ragecraft seems to be running things."

"Ah yes, him. He'd only just showed up before, well, you arrived. I don't know much about Ragecraft, but he's risen quickly." Eris studied my face, then sighed. "I guess it will just take a little longer. Ah well, perhaps it's for the best."

"What will?" I asked, frowning at Eris.

"Don't worry about it. Just a bet I've made with myself."

"I already told you, I'm not gambling against you, Eris. That's a losing proposition."

"That's true enough. Just don't bet against yourself either, Kazuma. Good night."

I headed into my room, undressing and taking a long, hot bath in the luxurious tub provided for just such a purpose. I'd just finished, toweling off and dressing in a comfortable cotton robe, when the hairs on the back of my neck rose. I spun just as I felt a slight breeze.

"Ah, Señor Kazuma. It is good to see you here," the short masked thief said, leaning against my now open window. "Tell me, what brings you to Elroad?"

While I am hesitant to speak ill of the former King of Elroad, my interactions with Ivar were more or less in line with Kazuma's opinion of the man. Thankfully, the new ruler seems to be doing rather well for themselves, even if I am still banned from Elroad by virtue of my ancestry. Honestly. And they say a Belzerg holds a grudge for a while. My aunt can be quite forgiving when you accidentally on purpose blow up a building. - NS