Hey guys! Sorry for disappearing for a few days, I didn't even think about how scary that might have been during times like this and I apologize. I'm fine, I just took a little break for finals. I'm sorry for any worry I might of caused anyone and I really appreciate those who are looking out for me. I love you guys 3
But I have good news! I got a laptop as a gift during finals week and it has really inspired me to write more. I've been writing a lot of stuff for a lot of different fandoms, though I've only shared what I've got for Vocaloid, but I've also written a few more chapters of this fic and I'm finally starting to get a backlog going again. I like it a lot more when I have a few chapters of leeway in case I don't feel like writing one day, instead of just writing something and posting it right after. Hopefully I can keep up my lead lol.
Here's the next chapter, another Len POV, just because I thought it fit pretty well here.
Enjoy!
There was that familiar feeling of a sudden awareness of my heart beating heavily in my chest as I glimpsed at Rin. She clutched the side of the curtain in one dainty hand, smiling at me in encouragement as I stood on this empty stage.
"No," I answered, looking away. I felt my face flush red and hoped she didn't see it.
Her footsteps echoed across the stage as she made her way over to me. "You sounded great," she added. Her hands were locked behind her back as she walked. "You're not going to get lunch?"
I shook my head. "I can't eat right now."
This earned me a frown. "Why not?"
I let out an unamused chuckle. "You're not nervous?"
She opened her mouth to respond, then hesitated.
"It's fine," I insisted, looking over the empty stage once more. I'd feel better with my band playing around me. I didn't have to worry about this.
Just don't freeze up-
"You should eat something," Rin insisted, oblivious to the pinpricks of anxiety that were beginning to crawl over my skin.
"You didn't go out either," I retorted, my words coming out much harsher than I intended.
"Because I packed my own lunch." Her grin returned. "And I have some extra, if you want it."
A flash of guilt ran through me, adding to the other feelings bubbling up. I didn't say anything, letting my eyes fall to the floor.
She let out a sigh. She knew something was up. "Come eat," she suggested once again, more gently this time.
I could do nothing but nod.
I tensed as she slipped her hand into mine, tugging me off the stage after her in the direction she had appeared. My eyes scanned the empty halls, a newfound panic rising up. How could she be so careless? Weren't there cameras here? What if someone saw us?
But she didn't care, pulling me through the empty halls, her small fingers intertwined with mine.
She eventually pushed open a door into a dressing room. It was small, with bags tossed to the side against the wall and flashy outfits draped onto the counters. Performance costumes, most likely.
"You can't practice with your band?" Rin asked, closing the door behind us and retrieving a bright red apple from one of the three bags tucked against the wall. The other two must have been Miku and Gumi's.
"Of course," I answered.
"Ah," she said, tossing me the apple. "Just not enough."
"You can never practice too much," I told her.
She shrugged. "I might disagree with you."
"I just-" I cut myself off, searching for words. "I'm just nervous, I guess."
She sat down in one of the chairs, crossing her arms. "Well, the guys should be able to help you with that."
"Yeah, but-" what if they weren't there?
I knew it was a stupid question. Of course they would be there. Why wouldn't they be? They wanted this just as much as I did. They would never leave me here to do this by myself. They wouldn't.
"Len?" It wasn't until she spoke that I realized I had been standing there, deep in thought, for just a moment too long. The apple was cold in my hand.
She looked at me expectantly, but I had nothing to say. I bit into the apple instead.
"...way they're going to make it to the next round. The audience barely knows them-"
We both froze as a distant voice appeared in the hallway outside the door. It was no one I immediately recognized, but if one of Rin's assistants or something came through the door, finding us here together…
Rin's eyes went wide. She stood up, walking softly to the door.
"Who is it?" I asked, turning with her. My voice was barely above a whisper.
"I don't know," she mouthed back.
A second voice chimed in. "Man, I don't know. I think Teto is gonna be out tonight. She's the only solo left. She can't keep up with full bands."
Rin pressed her hands against the door, leaning her ear against the wood. The voices were growing closer, coming from the hallway to the right of the door. I leaned against the wall next to her, lowering my head to hear better as well.
"It's too obvious," a third voice, a familiar one, said. "Teto is going to be out this round. Kokone and her band are going to be out this round. And then it's going to be Merge and TR in the finals, they're gonna make a big deal about it up in production, they're gonna make it seem super close to get the fans excited, but TR is going to win by a landslide."
Rin let out an audible huff, not at the words spoken but the voice saying them. It took me a moment to place, but I recognized it as one of the producers. The guy whose son had some weird obsession with her.
I looked down at her with a frown. She didn't look back up at me, keeping her eyes unfocused on the floor as she concentrated on hearing their conversation.
"A landslide? You're delusional," the second voice said. "Merge has a much bigger fan base present in the show. Production won't let TR win. Too many people will be upset."
Everett laughed. "I am production," he told the other. "And I'm telling you, that's exactly what's going to happen. Even if the others don't know it yet."
"You're going to rig it?" The first said.
"Bah! What fun would that be?" The voices were so close now, they seemed just on the other side of the door. Their footsteps were audible as well. "I don't need to rig it. TR wins. It's not even a fair fight."
"You want to bet on it?" The second asked. Their steps paused just a few paces outside the dressing room. "Because I think you're full of shit."
They paused. My heart beat so fast, I wondered if Rin could hear it pounding in my chest. Rigging the contest? Why the hell are we even here, then? I had to tell Fukase about this when they got back-
"Fine," Everett finally said. My ear was just over the crack in the door, now. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to hear them anymore. Though they seemed to still be standing just outside the door, they had lowered their voices. "TR and Merge duel it out in the final round, TR wins."
"It's not gonna happen," the other insisted. "How much you bettin'?
"Why don't we make it interesting?" Everett paused. "Twenty-thousand?"
Rin's eyes gawked, her mouth dropping open. She looked at the door with a stunned expression, as if it might have an answer to give her.
There was another pause. "Alright. Deal. Twenty-thousand. You in?"
A sigh from the first one. "You two are gonna make me go broke. But sure. I'm in. There's no way TR wins it."
"Well, gentlemen," Everett continued, their footsteps echoing once more through the halls. This time, they moved away from the door. "You're about to be played like a pair of fools."
Long after their voices and footsteps faded into the halls, Rin finally moved, pushing herself back to her feet. Her expression contorted with anger.
"What a piece of shit," she muttered to no one but herself. "That whole family is just a bunch of-"
She caught herself, only then remembering that I was in the room with her. Her eyes shot up to mine. The fire building up inside her cooled for just a moment, and she let it out with a long sigh.
"It's definitely discouraging," I agreed, wishing even more that Fukase had never signed us up for this stupid contest.
"It's like… it just doesn't matter how good we do," she agreed. "Knowing that the winner is already chosen."
"But he's not the only one on the production team," I offered. "They can't all be that bad."
By her silence, I could tell that she wasn't so sure.
This time, instead of returning to her seat, she sank to the floor, leaning against the wall next to the door with a defeated sigh. "We needed this," she said, the anger in her voice replaced with disappointment. The submission she showed wasn't like anything I'd seen her do before, and I wasn't prepared for the empty feeling it left me.
"You're still gonna get it," I insisted, sinking down to the floor next to her. "They were right, you do have a lot more fans here than us."
She smiled a bit, but it didn't stay for long. "Yours are a lot louder," she argued. "They hold signs up with your faces on them and shit."
"The whole place is going to go up in flames if you lose," I insisted.
"You have the power of fangirls on your side," she retorted. She rose her hand to her forehead, feigning infatuation. "Oh, Tokyo Revival!" She mocked in a high-pitched voice. "They're so cute! Ohmygosh, and that lead singer Len? I could just die when he sings like that-"
Despite myself, I felt a few laughs rise up. "Whatever," I told her.
"He's just so dreamy~" She sang the word, her head collapsing on my shoulder as she pretended to faint.
"You think I'm dreamy?" I grinned.
She shot up straight once again. "Your fangirls do," she argued. "You're missing the joke."
"Why are you so worried about my fangirls?"
She narrowed her eyes at me, the somber mood all but forgotten. She paused for another moment, deep in thought, before speaking again. "Your fangirls think you're going to do great tonight, too."
I looked away, almost having forgotten about my slip up to the invisible crowd.
She jabbed me hard in the shoulder with her pointer finger, bringing my attention back to her. "So. Don't. Disappoint. Them," she said, each word corresponding to another jab.
I rolled my eyes. "No pressure or anything."
"That's the point, Len Kagamine," she said. "Your fans never notice your mistakes. And if they do, they forgive you for them. You can't disappoint them. As long as you get up there."
"I don't have fans out there." The conversation was steering in a direction I did not want. Once again, I turned away from her. "Like they said. Most of them are yours." Messing up on stage, sneaking around with Rin, overhearing the producers, all of this was too much to worry about just hours before a performance. I felt the familiar itch in my blood for a cigarette.
"Well, I'll be watching," she offered.
It was enough to make my racing thoughts pause, but not stop altogether. "That's because you have to," I responded.
She shook her head. "I want to," she insisted. "I…" she trailed off.
"What?" I asked, turning back to her.
She wore another look I had never seen on her before. Her gaze was focused away from me, her head low, her hands folded in her lap. She looked like a timid girl being dropped off for her first day at a new school.
"I'm a fan," she finished.
"Len, five minutes. Get to the stage."
I paced back and forth in our dressing room. Fukase popping his head in was enough to make me jump.
"Yeah, okay. Okay," I said, keeping my head down as I walked to the door.
"You good?" Fukase asked, walking with me through the halls. Backstage was far from empty now, with crewmembers rushing everywhere in their dark uniforms.
"Yup," I answered. I must not have been very convincing, though.
"Kai and Gakupo are hyped up," Fukase told me. "You gotta be, too."
"I can't just make it go away," I told him, my eyes wide.
"Len, wait." He grabbed my shoulders, stopping us in the middle of the hall. A few people rushed past us, sending glares our way for blocking their paths.
"I don't need another one of your fucking speeches," I said, the nerves beginning to manifest into annoyance and anger.
But Fukase knew better than to take it personally. "You've done this a thousand times. What are you afraid of?"
"That I'll… that I'll fuck it up!" I answered, racking my brain.
"How many times have you fucked up performances?"
I rolled my eyes. He did this every time, right before a performance. "Can we just get to the stage?"
"How many times, Len?"
I sighed. "None."
"So why do you think it'll happen now?"
He was right. I knew he was right. But that didn't stop the shadows of doubt from creeping through my mind.
"I-I'm afraid-" I stammered. "I'm afraid of doing this alone."
He paused. "Why? We're all here-"
"I know, I know," I cut him off. "It's just-"
"TR! Stage right! Thirty seconds!" Someone yelled in our direction down the hall.
"We are talking about this later," Fukase promised as he began to rush me towards the stage entrance. "You have Kai, you have Gaku, you have me. That's not changing from some stupid performance," he assured me.
Surprisingly, it seemed to work.
"There you are!" Kai scolded in a whisper as I found them behind the curtain, their earpieces already on. "Could you cut it a little closer next time? I'd like to have a heart attack-"
"Kai, cool it," Gakupo said, grabbing the third earpiece from the stage assistant and fitting it over my ear. "You ready?" He asked me.
Rin is out there.
It was a sudden, intrusive thought, but one that lit a bit of hope in me nonetheless. Fukase was right. I had all of my friends here. I had fans out in the crowd, but knowing that Rin was among them made me almost eager to get on stage.
"Yeah," I told him. Next to him, Fukase smiled. "I'm ready."
"Aaand next up!" The host was saying. "Another fan-favorite this season: Tokyo Revival!"