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Chapter 15

Draco's flat in Diagon Alley was a small fraction of the size of Malfoy Manor, yet it seemed to allow a lot more room to breathe. He had chosen it on a whim, rented it after a brief tour through the rooms without sparing it much thought when his only goal had been to find a place, any place to live. Now, after he had finished settling in, Draco felt even more reassured that he had made the right choice.

The flat was nothing like his home and maybe that was the appeal of it, but Draco could actually see himself get comfortable here. Even though it wasn't a big place, even though Draco was used to a lot more comforts, with a bit of magic, the flat had become quite cosy. A short corridor led straight into the one, big room that held the lounge, the kitchen in the back and, slightly elevated and accessible by a few steps, a place for his bed. Behind that, a door led to the small bathroom. It wasn't much, but it was his own. The brick walls gave the flat an air of unfinishedness which served him quite well and reminded him that it wasn't a permanent situation and merely the first step of a new journey. Yet what Draco loved most about this place was the roof - or the fact that half of it was made of glass which extended halfway down the wall and gave him an excellent view across the skyline of Muggle London while remaining invisible to everyone out there. Neither in the Slytherin common room nor in his own home had he experienced so much light. He took it as a good sign.

A strange and yet familiar plop suddenly startled him and Draco turned on the spot, drawing his wand to point it at the intruder, only to lower it immediately upon realising who had come to visit him.

"You should really put him some protection spells," Astoria said with a smile. It was strange to see her without her white robes, but Draco couldn't deny that darker colours suited her just as well. He also couldn't help but notice the potted plant she was holding in her hands and it only added to his confusion. "I got your owl. Thought I'd stop by and have a look at your new place. I'm glad you've taken my advice."

Draco frowned back at her. "Aren't you supposed to be resting? I mean, you said you were ill."

"No, I said I needed a break from work," she corrected him instantly and held the plant out for him to take. "Here, something for your flat. But know that if it dies, I'll take it very personally."

Draco didn't know what to say and simply took the plant from her hands, admiring it for a moment. It wasn't something he had come across in Herbology lessons, so he doubted it possessed magical or medicinal properties and merely served as decoration. Then his eyes wandered back towards Astoria who had ventured deeper into his new flat and begun to examine the place. Even though he had sent her an owl to inform her of his new address, Draco hadn't expected her to show up immediately.

"You were right. For a healer you're incredibly bad at taking care of yourself, Greengrass," Draco said and then instantly rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. She had been nothing but nice to him and he still couldn't respond in kind.

Astoria turned around, still smiling, and shrugged. "I swear, I'm fine. You're no longer my patient, so technically, I'm not working," she argued. Then, her face took on a more serious expression. "Besides, I wanted to know how your parents took it. From what I've seen of them, I'm guessing not well."

"Well, better sit down cause this is going to be a longer conversation," Draco suggested.

Once again, Astoria looked around and Draco followed her gaze before realising what he had said. Both began to chuckle.

"I'll have to get some chairs," he noted eventually and then lifted his wand to conjure two large pillows that plopped down right in front of the empty fireplace.

They sat on the floor, feet stretched out over the carpet, facing each other and Draco couldn't help but think that it still felt a little strange. They had agreed to be friends, yes, and he was ready to admit that he was badly in need of one, but there were moments he still couldn't believe that Astoria would actually choose to be near him when most other witches and wizards avoided former Death Eaters wherever possible. Whatever the reason, Draco had decided to trust her the moment he had taken her advice.

"Well?" she prompted him, looking at him expectantly. "What did they say?"

Draco shrugged. "Could have been better," he admitted. "Also could have been worse. Father shouted, I shouted back. He blamed you. Mother was sad, probably worried, too, and also blamed you, saying your family was cursed."

To his surprise, Astoria chuckled. "And what curse would that be?"

"She didn't say. But I think she would have said anything to make me stay."

"Do you regret it?" Astoria wanted to know.

Draco looked around the place. Despite Astoria's presence, the room was quiet, but it was a whole different kind of quiet than had resided in Malfoy Manor. It was accompanied by a strange calmness, a tranquillity that he had rarely felt in his life. Throughout his entire life, Draco had never pictured himself moving out, always assuming that he would stay in the manor forever, that one day, his wife would move in with him, that their children would grow up there. It was the idea that his parents had planted in his head as tradition dictated and he had never questioned whether he actually wanted any of that. Now, he finally had a chance to figure it out.

"Absolutely not," Draco replied eventually. When he looked back at Astoria, he couldn't help but smile. It was strange how it came to him so naturally now when he was in her presence. "That was excellent advice, Greengrass."

"My pleasure, Malfoy, she said. "Though I do have a first name, you know. Never understood why Slytherins always referred to each other by their last name."

"Cause the right family name was probably the only thing many of them had to show for it."

Astoria nodded in agreement, but the mention of their past brought back another memory, one not quite as far away as their Hogwarts years. Draco opened his mouth, but he couldn't quite bring himself to say it, he wasn't sure how to.

"Yesterday at the hospital," he began and broke off again.

"Yes?" Astoria enquired. "What about it?"

"Well, you said you once saw me in the common room at night-"

In response, she lowered her gaze. "I probably shouldn't have said that. It must have been a very private moment. I never meant to spy on you that night. It's just that… well, you were a prefect and I was… doing something I really wasn't supposed to. So I hid."

Draco narrowed his eyes at her. "You weren't breaking the rules, were you?" he said with a pretend tone of shock. "Greengrass, I'm appalled!"

At that, Astoria bit her lip. "My first boyfriend was in Ravenclaw, so we sometimes sneaked out at night."

"I should report you. They'll expel you retroactively," he joked. Astoria laughed, but Draco quickly grew serious again. He remembered that night in the common room. He remembered what had made him cry. If Astoria had watched his memories, she would have known too, but since the vial was destroyed, the only way for her to know was for him to tell her. And a part of him wanted her to know. "That night you saw me cry in the common room was a really bad night for me."

Astoria nodded calmly. "Your sixth year was when you became a Death Eater, wasn't it?"

"Yes," he confirmed.

"There were rumours among the younger students after that year, many of them. Some said you were involved in Dumbledore's death. Is that true?"

"Yes," Draco said again.

Then, he told her everything. Every little detail. From the moment Voldemort had chosen him to take his father's place to the moment after the battle when his family had left the ruined castle. Draco didn't leave out a single detail, not even how he had hurt Katie Bell and Ron Weasley by accident, how he had helped the Death Eaters enter the school, how he had fought Harry Potter in the battle, how he had been saved by him when his friend had lost his life in the flames. He told her about everything that had happened at Malfoy Manor, everything he had done or witnessed. Every so often, Draco looked up to see her listen intently and she never looked surprised or shocked or horrified even though she couldn't have known any of that. The details of his trial and acquittal had never been made public, so there was no way Astoria could have been prepared for the extent of his personal horror story. Yet he never once saw even a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. Astoria merely sat there and listened without judging, that fire of kindness still burning vividly in her eyes, and it meant more than him than she could ever know.

During his trial, Draco had told the Wizengamot the exact same story repeatedly, but this was different. Sitting in that chair in front of the judges, he had felt scared, terrified, sure that after it was over, he would never see the outside of a cell again. In Astoria's presence, there was no fear and no need to pretend. He could admit how scared he had felt, how painful the Dark Mark had been, how stupid he had been as a boy without fear of being judged. Maybe it was even the first time in his life Draco could be himself and when his story was told and Astoria was still sitting there, he knew that she had meant every word. He had found a friend.

"Draco," she said carefully once he had finished. Her eyebrows were raised ever so slightly, but the kindness in her expression hadn't changed. "The past will never go away. It will never change. But as of now, your life can be whatever you want it to be."

Draco nodded. And then made a decision. "I'm going to make dinner for you tomorrow. As a thank you."

To his surprise, Astoria burst into laughter. "I'm sorry, what?" she asked in disbelief.

The heat rose into his cheeks and he felt himself blushing, but Draco wasn't going to let that interfere with his plans. "Well, you said you wanted to be my friend. Friends are nice to each other, they invite each other over for meals. I'm trying to be nice here."

Her hands wandered to her mouth to cover her laugh, but it still didn't stop him from hearing. "Oh boy, you make nice look incredibly awkward."

"I'm trying, okay?!" he defended himself, not entirely sure why his invitation seemed so amusing to her.

Finally, once Astoria had stopped laughing, she nodded. However, the amusement was still visible on her face. "Alright, I'll come over for dinner tomorrow," she agreed. "But for future reference, an invitation for dinner usually sounds less like an order and more, well, like an invitation."

"I'll try to remember that," Draco said and lowered his head again before Astoria saw him blush.

"Maybe get some chairs, too," she suggested and he heard her smile without looking at her.

Draco sighed. Somehow, a weight had lifted off his shoulders after telling her his story and a part of him couldn't help but think that, if she had stepped out of her hiding place that night in the Slytherin common room and become his friend then and there, maybe none of the rest would have happened at all. But she was right. Nothing could undo the past, but he finally had the power to change his future. Whatever it had in store for him, Draco found himself hoping that Astoria would be in it.