Girl's Night out II (Gotham style)

by dhalpin3

Illyana and friends visit the DC universe. Will Gotham survive? More Illyana/Batman/Catwomon... action, plus some other crossovers as well.

15. Chapter 15

Girl's Night Out Mark II

DHalpin's note: Ahhh, as predicted by GORM, let the spectacle begin that is Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now if only I could only come up with a Dirty Pair story involving Illyana (oh well, I'm sure something will eventually occur to me). This chapter took more time then I thought as I first got halfway though, then kind of lost interest for awhile. It will help if you have seen or viewed the film Rocky Horry Picture Show, you can find it on youtube, and elsewhere I suppose. Keep in mind that the film is… different, very different (hint, it's a demented musical). . LordGrise and I in part conceived of this chapter because we wanted a certain character to sing a certain song. Who you ask? Well… you'll see. Plus we also wanted Illyana to likewise sing one of the songs

The actual film was a financial disaster when it was first released, but became a very successful, and profitable, midnight showing cult hit. The audience would dress up and act out and sing the various parts, very… interactively, as this chapter will in part explore.

This was surprisingly difficult to write as the Girls are just attending, and participating as some are wont to do. All songs, of course, are from the Film Rocky Horror Picture Show (Play and film). A rather long chapter but I felt that trimming would result in a lesser chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Remember, this is a film and not a play.

Part 15a: THREE DAYS LATER

Selina had left a note in the bat log, apparently she had an idea for the next Halloween Wayne Foundation fund raiser, and an addendum to the note from Alfred, stating that he heartily approved of the idea if it were to take place at a location other then Wayne Manor and did not involve his garmentory participation.

Bruce thought upon Selina's suggestion, so… tempting. But he couldn't… could he? To do such would be so… Some more bat thoughts, then a surprising conclusion.

Completely fitting with the image of a foppish Bruce Wayne was Bruce's conclusion. So very unlike Batman. Why… he could just imagine what so many of the Justice League members would say, not to mention the various Gotham social circles, and the media at large.

With a snort of laugher Bruce decided to do it. What was the details to the event you ask? Well… You will need to see chapter three of What to do about Magik Gotham style (not yet written but Lord Grise appears to have dibs on it).

Part 15a: Rocky Horror Picture show Act I

The theater lights dimmed down and the film starts. The Usherette, sometimes referred to as "Trixie", who works in a derelict cinema, introduces tonight's "film" in a song Science Fiction/Double Feature, with masked Phantoms providing the backing vocals.

I knew Leo G. Carrol

Was over a barrel

When Tarantula took to the hills.

And I really got hot

When I saw Jeanette Scott

Fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills.

Dana Andrews said Prunes

Gave him the runes

And passing them used lots of skills

But when worlds collide

Said George Pal to his bride,

I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills

Like a ...

Science Fiction Double Feature

Frank has built and lost his creature

Darkness conquered

Brad and Janet

The servants' gone to a distant planet

To the late night,…

Science Fiction Double Feature

Frank has built and lost his creature

Darkness conquered

Brad and Janet

The servants' gone to a distant planet

To the late night, double feature, picture show

I wanna go-oh-oh-ohh

To the late night, double feature, picture show

By R.K.O.

To the late night, double feature, picture show

In the back row

To the late night, double feature, picture show

And so it begins…

After attending the wedding of his best friend since high school (Ralph Hapschatt, now married to Janet Weiss' friend Betty Munroe), Brad Majors confesses his love to Janet Weiss and the two become engaged after the song Dammit Janet is sung by the two. The two of them start singing, and various audience members take to the stage in front of the film screen to also sing, most dressed as the characters (Brad and Janet are dressed as squares one might say).

Brad

Hey Janet

Janet

Yes Brad?

Brad

I've got something to say.

I really loved the skilful way

You beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet!

The river was deep but I swam it, Janet

The future is ours so let's plan it, Janet

So please don't tell me to can it, Janet

I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you

The road was long but i ran it, Janet

There's a fire in my heart and you fan it, Janet

If there's one fool for you then I am it, Janet

Now I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Janet, I love you

Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker

There's three ways that love can grow

That's good, bad or mediocre

Oh J-A-N-E-T I love you so

Janet

Oh it's nicer than Betty Munroe had, oh Brad

Now we're engaged and I'm so glad, oh Brad

That you've met Mum and you know Dad, oh…

Oh it's nicer than Betty Munroe had, oh Brad

Now we're engaged and I'm so glad, oh Brad

That you've met Mum and you know Dad, oh Brad

I've one thing to say and that's

Brad I'm mad for you too

Oh Brad

Brad

Oh, dammit!

Janet

I'm mad

Brad

Oh Janet!

Janet

For you

Both

I love you too

The scene ends with Brad and Janet kissing.

A plate of brownies makes its way down the movie row. Cassandra absently mindedly snags one and passes on the plate to the others, some likewise take a brownie, apart from Laura who preferred popcorn (lots and lots of popcorn drenched in butter and salt). Cassandra takes a bite and is astonished by what she has partaken of, why… this is… the best brownie she's ever had! So Good!

The film now switches to a criminologist narrator smoking a cigarette who explains that Brad and Janet were on the way to visit Dr. Everett Scott, their former science tutor. We switch back to Brad and Janet to find that they are driving on a cold and wet late night, they find themselves lost and then suffer a flat tire. Seeking a telephone, the now drenched couple walk to a nearby castle, Brad and Janet sing as they search for the castle to find a phone.

Janet

In the velvet darkness of the blackest night

Burning bright, there's a guiding star

No matter what or who, who you are

Janet and Brad

There's a light (Over at the Frankenstein Place)

There's a light (Burning in the fireplace)

There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life

We now see a figure in a window singing as he observes Brad and Janet approach the castle. It is the soon to be introduced Riff Raff and Illyana is suddenly on the stage as well as she sings along.

Riff Raff (Illyana)

The darkness must go down the river of nights dreaming

Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming

Into my…

Then Illyana is back in her chair is if she can teleport (and yes she can).

Selena whispers to Illyana "I've always wanted Alfred to dress, at least once, like Riff Raff, but he is most firm about not participating in such behaviors."

Illyana whispers back. "Not even for Halloween?"

"Especially not Halloween."

We now see a very strange butler (named Riff Raff) answering the door and questioning Brad and Janet. He guides them into the castle where they discover a group of strange and outlandish people who are holding an Annual Transylvanian Convention. They also meet a likewise strangely dressed cleaning female servant (named Magenta).

The Narrator explains that Brad and Janet are feeling "apprehensive and uneasy", but must accept any help that they are offered. Riff Raff, Magenta and Columbia (a groupie who is dressed as a dancing showgirl) speak briefly of an unlucky delivery boy named Eddie who fell victim to unfortunate circumstances due to a botched delivery, before performing the film's signature dance number ("Time Warp).

The song Time Warp begins and to the surprise of Cassandra and Selina, Illyana is singing in the role of Riff Raff and Dana is singing Magenta's lines with the other film participants as they also do the dance moves. Interestingly, Illyana teleports each time folks jumped to the left.

Riff Raff (Illyana)

It's astounding –

Time is fleeting

Madness… takes its toll

But listen closely –

Magenta (Dana)

Not for very much longer

Riff Raff (Illyana)

I've got to keep control

I remember…

doing the Time Warp

Drinkin…

those moments when

The blackness would hit me

Riff Raff and Magenta (Illyana and Dana)

And the void Would be calling

All (Including Illyana and Dana)

Let's do the Time Warp again

Let's do the Time Warp again

Narrator

It's just a jump to the left (Illyana teleports)

All

And then a step to the right

Narrator

With your hands on your hips

All (Including Illyana and Dana)

You bring your knees in tight

But it's the pelvic thrust

That starts to drive you insane

Let's do the Time Warp again

Let's do the Time Warp again

Magenta (Dana)

It's so dreamy - oh fantasy free me

So you can't see me

no not at all

In another dimension

with voyeuristic intention

Well secluded - I'll see all

Riff Raff (Illyana)

With a bit of a mind flip…

Magenta (Dana)

you're there in the time slip

Riff Raff (Illyana)

Nothing can ever be the same

Magenta (Dana)

You're spaced out on sensation

Riff Raff (Illyana)

Like you're under sedation

All

Let's do the Time Warp again

Let's do the Time Warp again

Columbia

Well I was walking down the street

Just having a think

When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink

Well it shook me up, it took me by surprise

He had a pick up truck and the devil's eyes

Oh - he stared at me and I felt a change

Time meant nothing - never would again

All

Let's do the Time Warp again

Let's do the Time Warp again

Narrator

It's just a jump to the left (Illyana teleports)

All

And then a step to the right

Narrator

With your hands on your hips

All (Including Illyana and Dana)

You bring your knees in tight

But it's the pelvic thrust

That starts to drive you insane

Let's do the Time Warp again

Let's do the Time Warp again

All

Let's do the Time Warp again

Let's do the Time Warp again

Narrator

It's just a jump to the left (Illyana teleports)

All

And then a step to the right

Narrator

With your hands on your hips

All (Including Illyana and Dana)

You bring your knees in tight

But it's the pelvic thrust

That starts to drive you insane

Let's do the Time Warp again

Let's do the Time Warp again

With that the song ends and all of the party goers collapse. Illyana had Dana return to their seats. And the other Bad Girlz(s) now have an inclining that perhaps Illyana knows more about this film then she had let on, and that she might even be a fan. On the screen Brad and Janet back away, Janet wants to leave at this point but Brad is insistent that they need to first get to a phone. That's when Dr Frank-N-Furter, the transexual, cross-dressing mad scientist, arrives as an elevator descends (he, and yes he is a he, is dressed in black garters, corset, high heels and makeup). Janet sees him, screams, and then briefly faints. He confronts the two of them as he sings Sweet Transvestite.

Again many of the audience, mostly men, but some woman, dressed in garters, corset, and lots of makeup, sing and prance as well.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter

How do you do..

I see you've met…

my faithful handyman.

He's just a little brought down because

When you knocked

He thought you were the candyman

Don't get strung out…

by the way I look

Don't judge a book by it's cover

I'm not much of a man by the light of day

But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transexual, Transylvania

Brad and Janet look very uncertain.

At this point Selina gives into temptation and joins those dancing and also sings along. Yes she's dressed as Catwoman, but… it works as she struts and sings the lines of Dr. Frank-N-Furter with the others attendees, while using her whip to amplify certain point, to the cheers of all the Bad Girlz, and the audience as well. Somehow the whip just fits in.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (catwoman)

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound

You look like you're both… pretty groovy

Or if you want something visual

That's not too abysmal

We could take in an old Steeve Reeves movie

Brad

I'm glad we caught you at home

Could we use your phone?

We're both in a bit of a hurry

We'll just say where we are

Then go back to the car

We don't want to be any worry

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Catwoman)

Well you got caught with a flat

Well how 'bout that

Well babies don't you panic

By the light of the night

It'll all seem alright

I'll get you a Satanic mechanic

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transexual, Transylvania

Why don't you stay for the night

Or maybe a bite

I'll show you my favorite obsession

I've been making a man

With blonde hair and a tan

And he's good for relieving my… tension

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transexual, Transylvania

I'm just a sweet transvestite

Sweet Transvestite!

From Transexual

Transylvania

So come up to the lab

And see what's on the slab

I see you shiver with antici... pation

But maybe the rain

Isn't really to blame

So I'll remove the cause

But not the symptom

Selena then returns to her seat, after a final crack of her whip.

Frank-N-Furter invites Brad and Janet up to his laboratory. As he goes up, Brad and Janet are stripped to their underwear to dry off, much to their dismay. But Janet does keep her white purse.

At this point Cassandra is done with her brownie, but Laura passes the big tub of hot buttered popcorn to her and she takes a handful. WOW! Best popcornEVER! It's… possible that theCassandra's gastronomic experiences at this point might… just might be under the influence of more then just her taste buds.

Brad and Janet enter the laboratory, where Frank-N-Furter, now wearing a green surgical gown, with pink rubber gloves and a nice strand of pearls. He gives them white laboratory coats to wear while he engages in dialog with them, and some light flirting, before he announces that he has discovered the secret to life itself. Janet is very enthused, much to the annoyance of Brad.

Frank-N-Furter then unveils his creation from beneath a red cloak. He/it is in a glass cask of water and completely bandaged. After blasts of power and much strangery, the creation of Frank-N-Furter is brought to life as the creature emerges from the water. As the bandages are removed we see a blond, well-built man named Rocky. As his bandages are removed, showing him to be very buff, and dressed in tight and skimpy golden shorts, Rocky worries about his predicament as he sings The Sword of Damocles while being pursued about the laboratory by Frank-N-Furter.

During which Cassandra gets a class of Coke (the soft drink) handed to her and discovers that it's the best… I think you get the picture by this point as to Cassandra's possible state of mind.

Rocky

The Sword of Damocles is hangin' over my head

And I've got the feelin' someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread

Oh! Woe is me! My life is a misery

Oh! And can't you see

That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

I woke up this mornin' with a start when I fell out of bed (that ain't no crime)

And left from my dream it was a feelin' of un-nameable dread (that ain't no crime)

My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go!

And all I know

Is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Sha la la la that ain't no crime

Sha la la la that ain't no crime

Sha la la la that ain't no crime that ain't no... CRIME!

The Sword of Damocles is hangin' over my head (that ain't no crime)

And I've got the feelin' someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread (that ain't no crime)…

Frank-N-Furter admires Rocky's physique to the acclaims from the crowd, but is taken back when one person says he's just okay. Frank-N-Furter asks Janet her opinion and Janet claims that she doesn't like men with too many muscles, which irritates Frank-N-Furter as he declares he did not make him for her. Frank then sings a tribute to muscle builders I Can Make You a Man while giving Rocky pink barbells to lift, which allows Rocky to show off his form.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Catwoman)

A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds

Will get sand in his face

When kicked to the ground

And soon in the gym

With a determined chin

The sweat from his pores

As he works for his cause

Will make him glisten

And gleam, and with massage

And just a little bit of steam

He'll be pink and quite clean

He'll be a strong man

Oh, honey!

Chorus

But the wrong man

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Catwoman)

He'll eat nutritious, high protein…

And swallow… raw eggs

Try to build up his shoulders

His chest, arms, and legs

Such an effort

If he only knew of my plan

In just seven days

Chorus

I can make you a man

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Catwoman)

He'll do press-ups and chin-ups

Do the snatch, clean, and jerk

He thinks dynamic tension

Must be hard work

Such strenuous living

I just don't understand

When in just seven days

Oh, baby

I can make you a man

At this point Meatloaf rises and goes to the stage.

A red light blinks and a Coca-Cola freezer in the laboratory opens to reveal Frank and Columbia's former lover, Eddie, as he crashes out of the ice riding a motorcycle. Eddie is a biker covered in surgical scars, who has been rendered into a brain-damaged zombie, intent on rescuing Columbia, and escaping the castle while successfully causing large amounts of damage to Frank's laboratory, all the while exhibiting signs of partially returning memory of the way he lived life in the past as he sings Hot Patootie – Bless My Soul. Sung as only Meatloaf can sing (meaning very melodramatic).

The whole audience rises to their feet and sing at a volume that has the whole theater rocking.

Eddie (Meatloaf)

Whatever happened to Saturday night?

When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright

It don't seem the same since cosmic light

Came into my life, I thought I was divine

I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go

And listen to the music on the radio

A saxophone was blowing on a rock and roll show

We climbed in the back seat, really had a good time

Hot patootie, bless my soul

Really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled

My hands kinda fumbled with her white plastic belt

I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt

She'd whisper in my… she really was mine

Get back in front and put some hair oil on

Buddy Holly was singing his very last song

With your arms around your girl, you try to sing along

It felt pretty good, woo

Really had a good time

Everybody in the film is grooving, Illyana and Dana are dancing together, just like their characters on the screen, everybody except Frank-N-Furter who is very jealous. He traps Rocky in the elevator.

Hot patootie, bless my soul

Really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Eddie starts riding the motorcycle all over the laboratory causing even more chaos.

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll

Frank-N-Furter panics, forces Eddie back into the freezer and hacks him to death with a pick axe, much to the horror of Columbia. At point Meatloaf takes a bow and returns to his seat.

Frank-N-Furter tells Rocky, who turns out to be the recipient of the half of Eddie's brain, that he prefers him over Eddie. Frank-N-Furter re-sings a summary of I Can Make You a Man as he states that Eddie had a certain charm, but… he had no muscles, and therefore, had to go… why… call it a mercy killing.

Frank-N-Furter and Rocky then go off to a bridal suite to consummate their relationship. Brad and Janet, somewhat flustered after witnessing the strange events and the re-murdering of Eddie, are then ushered to separate bedrooms for the night.

Part 15b: Times square meat

Meanwhile… after a few minor skirmishes in the Subway, Pharaoh and Doug Marcadia arrived at their destination in Times Square, a Brazilian steak house where they met Grandmaster (a small Filipino man who you truiely never wish to meet in combat) in the bar.

After some hearty greetings, and some examination of the cutlery for fighting purposes, the three made their way to their table.

"No Master Ken?" Was Pharaoh's question to Grandmaster as the first course of meat was brought.

"He's running late according to his text." Answered Grandmaster. "Something about being tied up, traffic I assume."

Ahhh, the joys of voice texting. Tied up in this case had involved giant spiders and a rather upset Todd who was currently wrapped up in a cocoon.

Part 15c: Amazons

A supersonic stealth jet is beginning to decrease its speed so as to slot into the Gotham air traffic patterns. In it the Amazon assault team was armed and ready. Plus they were equipped with a special piece of gear, a magical Frosties detector. Given to them by the high priestess who has been gifted it by the god Bacchus himself. Soon, they would be landing in Got hum and the hunt would be on.

Why had Bacchus gifted the Amazons with what was in fact a panties and bra detector? The note that had been attached had been most satisfying.

I have heard your laminations oh warrior woman of Themyscira. The injustice that has denied you the garments you so richly deserve. This device shall aid you in your endeavors and guide you to your prey.

Why was Bacchus involving himself? The Amazons were convinced it was the righteousness of their cause, although it is possible that he Amazons might be a tad overzealous. But the real reason was the sheer hilarity of what would likely occur (we are talking Bacchus after all).

And where was the largest accumulation of Frosties in Gotham? They were upon the person of the woman that were was currently watching Rocky Horror (they were wearing their bat Frosties under their costumes). Does… that sound ominous?

It should…

Part 15d: Rocky Horror Picture show Act II

Well… back to the film.

The Narrator foreshadows that Brad and Janet may be unsafe as he states "There are those who say life is an illusion and that reality is a figment of the imagination. If this is so, then Brad and Janet are quite safe. However, the sudden departure of their host and his creation (into the seclusion of his sombre bridal suite) had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy. A feeling which grew as the other guests 'departed' and 'they' were shown to their separate rooms."

We see the silhouette of Janet in a bed. Then the silhouette of Brad as he enters though a door. Janet enjoys Brad's advances in her darkened bedroom before realizing that it is Frank in disguise. He convinces Janet that pleasure is no crime, and after she asks him to promise not to tell Brad, they resume their lovemaking.

Meanwhile Riff Raff and Magenta torment Rocky with fire, forcing him to break his chains and escape.

The scene changes to Brad's darkened bedroom, where Brad makes love to Janet before discovering that, once again, it is Frank in disguise as Janet (with mostly the same dialog as when Frank had pretended to be Brad). Frank promises not to tell Janet, but as they resume, Riff Raff interrupts on the television monitor with the message that Rocky has escaped; but Brad and Frank continue in their activities.

"Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate is loose and in the castle ground. Magenta has just released the dogs."

We see Janet leave her room searching for Brad, she is distressed about her sexual encounter, while we see dogs chasing Rocky out in the grounds while it rains. She returns to the laboratory in search of Brad and discovers Rocky hiding there.

The Narrator reads from a dictionary. "Emotion. Mental agitation - an excited state of. It is also an irrational and powerful master and from what Janet had witnessed on the monitor, there seemed to be little doubt that she was indeed its slave."

Checking the television monitor, Janet sees Brad in bed with Frank and ends up seducing Rocky in revenge while singing the song Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me.

As with all the songs, various people get up to sing and dance on the stage… but what is this we see? Cassandra has joined the enable and sings Janet's lyrics! And no, she had never seen the film before, let's jus say she's was inspired and just went with it.

Janet (Cassandra)

I was feeling done in, couldn't win, I'd only ever kissed before.

Columbia

You mean she

Magenta (Dana)

Uhu

Janet (Cassandra)

I thought there's no use getting, into heavy petting

It only leads to trouble and, seat wetting

Now all I want to know, is how to go

I've tasted blood and I want more

Columbia and Magenta (Dana)

more, more, more

Janet (Cassandra)

I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance

I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance

Janet (Cassandra)

Toucha, toucha, toucha, touch me

I wanna be dirty

Thrill me, chill me, fullfill me

Creature of the night

Janet (Cassandra)

Then if anything grows (she laughs)

While you pose,

I'll oil you up

And rub you down

Columbia and Magenta (Dana)

down, down, down

Janet (Cassandra)

And that's just one small fraction

Of the main attraction

You need a friendly hand.

Oh, and I need action.

Chorus (Everybody)

Toucha, toucha, toucha, touch me

I wanna be dirty

Thrill me, chill me, fullfill me

Creature of the night

Columbia

Toucha, toucha, toucha, touch me

Magenta (Dana)

I wanna be dirty

Columbia

Thrill me, chill me fulfill me

Magenta (Dana)

Creature of the night

Janet (Cassandra)

Oh, toucha, toucha, toucha, TOUCH ME

I wanna be dirty

Thrill me, chill me, fullfill me

Creature of the night

Rocky

Creature of the night!

Brad

Creature of the nigh

N Furter (Catwoman)

Creature of the night

Magenta (Dana)

Creature of the night

Riff Raff (Illyana)

Creature of the night

Columbia

Creature of the night

Rocky

Creature of the night

Janet (Cassandra)

Creature of the night… OH

Cheers from all as Cassandra finishes and sits back down.

Riff Raff gets punished by Dr. Frank N Furter as he is most distressed that Rocky has escaped, and one can surmise that he thinks Riff Raff is not telling the full truth as to what happened. Along with Brad, the three of them return, via the elevator, to Dr. Frank N Furter's lab. Riff Raff starts searching with the TV monitors and a visitor (a man in a wheel chair) is discovered at the front door who turns out to be known by Brad, he is Dr. Everett Scott, and is an old friend of Brad and Janet's. Dr. Scott's presence elicits suspicion from Dr. Frank N Furter and Riff Raff (Riff Raff at first calls him an earthling, the corrects himself and calls him a human after a glare from Frank) as Frank claims Dr. Scott is attached to the Bureau of Investigation of what you call U. !

The (now intruder) enters the building and is in the Zen room as Dr. Frank N Furter engages some strange magnetic device and the intruder finds his chair dragged up the stairs, around the house, and eventually into the lab after breaking though a wall of pink tile (much to Bran's surprise).

Doctor Scott does not appear surprised by all of this as he greets Dr. Frank N Furter by name. Dr. Frank N Furter shows that he is in the know as to the plan by Dr. Scott to use Brad and Janet to checkout the lair as it were (which is false but a logical conclusion).

Dr. Scott denies this and claims that he came to the locality to find Eddie. Surprise plot twist! Eddie is Dr. Scott's nephew! Which completely shocks Dr. Frank N Furter. As Frank storms about the libratory Janet and Rocky are discovered, naked, having just awoken (talk about sound sleepers).

There is endless Janet… Brad… Dr. Scott… Rocky… declarations by all as all are shocked. Shocked I say! At which time Magenta sounds a gong and announces that diner is prepared (talk about eating late…)

Dr. Frank N Furter announces that under the circumstances that formal dress is optional.

The Narrator returns and declares that "Food has always played a vital role in life's rituals. The breaking of bread - the last meal of the condemned man - and now this meal. However informal it might appear you can be sure there was to be very little 'bonhomie'."

We now cut to the dining room where Riff Raff and Magenta are serving, and everybody is mostly in a state of undress apart from Dr. Scott (Brad is wearing a blue silk robe, whereas Janet is in her bra and panties). Dr. Frank N Furter uses an electric knife to carve some meat. From the body language you can infer that everybody is upset and that Brad and Janet are… tense.

Dr. Frank N Furter puts on a party hat and Happy Birthday To You is sung for Rocky. Then food is casual tossed onto the plates and they begin to eat. Dr. Scott raises the topic of Eddie at which Dr. Frank N Furter says that 'It's a rather tender sublet… another slice anybody?' Implying that they are eating a piece of Eddie. So… yeah… no more eating as everybody goes silent and Columbia storms off and then screams in anguish off screen while Dr. Frank N Furter decides that ketchup is just the thing for this meal as he generously squirts some.

Dr. Scott breaks the fourth wall and speaks to the audience. "I knew he was in with a bad crowd. But it was worse than I imagined..." As he then turns back and declares "Aliens."

To the shock of Brad and Janet, but not the others, Dr. Frank N Furter reveals that Dr. Scott's full name is Dr. von Scott. At which point Dr. Scott sings about Eddie.

Dr. von Scott

From the day he was born

He was trouble

He was the thorn

In his mother's side

She tried in vain

Narrator

But he never caused her nothing but shame

Dr. von Scott

He left home the day she died

From the day she was gone

All he wanted

We now get a bouncy beat as Dr. von Scott continues as we see a scrap book of Eddie's life.

Dr. von Scott

Was rock 'n' Roll porn

Und a motorbike

Shooting up junk

He was a lowdown, cheap little punk

Taking everyone for a ride

Dr. von Scott, Riff Raff (Illyana), Magenta (Dana)

When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy

You knew he was a no-good kid

But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Riff Raff (Illyana),

What a guy,

Magenta (Dana)

makes you cry,

Dr. von Scott

und I did

Columbia (as she stares at a wall size photo of Eddie)

Everybody shoved him

I very nearly loved him

I said, hey, listen to me

Stay sane inside insanity

But he locked the door and threw away the key

Dr. von Scott

But he must have been drawn

Into something

Making him warn

Me in a note which reads

Brad and Janet

(what's it say, what's it say?)

Eddie (Meatloaf is singing)

I'm out of my head

Oh,…

I'm out of my head

Oh, hurry, or I may be dead

They mustn't carry out their evil deeds (aah)

Brad and Janet

When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy

You knew he was a no-good kid

Riff Raff (Illyana), Magenta (Dana)

But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

What a guy

Janet

makes you cry,

Dr. von Scott

und I did

Everybody

When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy

You knew he was a no-good kid

But when he threatened your life

With a switch-blade knife

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

What a guy (whoa, oh, oh)

Janet

Makes you cry (hey, hey, hey)

Dr. von Scott

Und I did (hey-ey)

Dr. Frank N Furter pulls the table cloth from the table, showing a glass top that shows that they have been eating and singing over Eddie's corpse. Shock and screaming result. Janet runs to the arms of a pleased Rocky which upsets Dr. Frank N Furter as he flings Rocky to the floor and slaps Janet. Janet flees with Dr. Frank N Furter in pursuit, resulting in a Brad pushing Dr. von Scott's wheelchair in a very odd chaise scene while Riff Raff and Magenta laugh in glee.

Dr. Frank N Furter catches up with Janet and begins to sing the song (Planet Schmanet Janet) as the two fight as Janet continues to flee (remember she is in her panties and bra). She is scandalized by some of what Frank says/sings.

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

I'll tell you once, I won't tell you twice.

You'd better wise up Janet Weiss.

Your apple pie don't taste too nice

You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss

I've laid the seed it should be all you need

You're as sensual as a pencil,

Wound up like an E or a first string

When we made it, did you hear a bell ring?

You got a block? Well, take my advice

You better wise up Janet Weiss.

The transducer will seduce ya.

They are now back in the laboratory, Brad and Dr. von Scott are there as well as they exit the elevator. Dr. Frank N Furter throws the switch on some kind of device (it is an audio transducer) and everybody is frozen.

Janet

It's…

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

It's something you'll get used to -

A mental mind fuck can be nice.

Dr. von Scott hypocrisies that some kind of transformation is about to happen.

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

Planet, schmanet, Janet!

You better wise up Janet Weiss.

You better wise up,

Build your thighs up,

You better wise up.

Which leads to the song hot dog as Janet half sings and half screams…

"Sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-op!"

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

Don't get hot and flustered,

Use a bit of mustard.

Brad

You're a hot dog, but you'd better not try to hurt her,

Frank Furter

Magenta throws a switch and Brad is transformed into a naked white statue.

Dr. von Scott

You're a hot dog, but you'd better not try to hurt her,

Frank Furter

Again Magenta throws a switch and now Dr. von Scott is transformed into a naked white statue.

Janet

You're a hot dog!

Again Magenta throws a switch and now Janet is likewise is transformed into a naked white statue.

At which point Columbia arrives on the scene and throws a bit of a fit at how Dr. Frank N Furter has been behaving. So… yep she also is turned into a naked white statue. Likewise Rocky.

It is now revealed that the inhabitants of the castle are space aliens led by Frank, who abandoned their original mission in order to engage in kinky sex with Earthlings and work on Rocky. Magenta insists that they return to their home planet now that they have been found out; Frank refuses and, instead, declares his intentions to put on a floor show.

The Narrator now tells us… "And so, by some extraordinary coincidence - fate it seems had decided that Brad and Janet should keep that appointment with their friend Dr Everett Scott. But it was to be in a situation which none of them could have possibly foreseen. And just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet had both tasted forbidden fruit. This in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals - and some persuasion. What further indignities were they to be subjected to? And what of the floor show that had been spoken of? In an empty house? In the middle of the night? What diabolical plan had seized Franks crazed imagination?"

We see the statues are now on a stage and Frank has dressed all of them up in black fetish lingerie of garters and corsets. Then with a throw of a switch Columbia returns to life and begins to sing as she performs a bit of a high kicking burlesque show.

Columbia

It was great

When it all began

I was a regular Frank Fan

But it was over when he had the plan

To start working on a muscle-man

Now the only thing that gives me hope

Is my love of certain dope

Rose tints my world keeps me

Safe from my trouble and pain.

Again the switch is thrown and now Rocky comes to life.

Rocky

I'm just seven hours old

truly beautiful to behold

And somebody should be told

My libido hasn't been controlled

Now the only thing I've come to trust

Is an orgasmic rush of lust

Rose tints my world keeps me

Safe from my trouble and pain.

Again the switch is thrown and now Brad comes to life.

Brad

It's beyond me

Help me mommy

I'll be good you'll see

Take this dream away

What's this, let's see

I feel sexy

What's come over me

Here it comes again.

Zap, and now Janet comes to life, but this time Cassandra does not sing.

Janet

I feel released

Bad times deceased

My confidence has increased

Reality is here

The game has been disbanded

My mind has been expanded

It's a gas that Frankie's landed

His lust is so sincere

And now Dr. Frank N Furter, dressed most provocatively, takes center stage and sings!

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

What ever happened to Fay Wray

That delicate satin draped frame

As it clung to her thigh

How I started to cry

For I wanted to be dressed just the same.

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh

Erotic nightmares beyond any measure

And sensual daydreams to reassure forever —

Can't you just see it.

And now the fog machine goes off and Frank vanishes, as the mists dissipate we see Frank floating in a pool in a life preserver from the Titanic.

Don't dream it — Be it

Don't dream it — Be it

Don't dream it — Be it

Everybody (as they jump in the pool and… um… let's just say they are cavorting as they swim about. Yes… cavorting… not… something more… physical.)

Don't dream it — Be it

Don't dream it — Be it

Don't dream it — Be it

Another zap and Dr. Scott is once again alive.

Dr. von Scott

Hmm ... We've got to get out of this trap

Before this decadence saps our wills

I've got to be strong and try to hang on

Or my mind may well snap

And my life will be lived for the thrills

Brad

It's beyond me

Help me mommy

Janet

God bless Lilly St. Cyr.

Dr. Frank N Furter (Catwoman)

MY MY MY MY

I'm a wild and an untamed thing

I'm a bee with a deadly sting

Get a hit, and your mind goes ping

Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing

So let the party and the sounds rock on

Gonna shake it till the life has gone

Rose tint my world

Keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

All (as they dance and high kick)

I'm a wild and an untamed thing

I'm a bee with a deadly sting

Get a hit, and your mind goes ping

Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing

So let the party and the sounds rock on

Gonna shake it till the life has gone

Rose tint my world

Keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

Suddenly! Riff Raff and Magenta burst in! They are now dressed in a weird golden fetish kind of space suits and Riff Raff has some kind of ray gun in hand.

Riff Raff (Illyana)

Frank n Furter

It's all over

Your mission is a failure

Your life style's too extreme

I'm your new commander

You are now my prisoner

We return to Transalvania

Prepare the transit beam.

Shock! Shock and dismay, then… Frank makes a final plea for sympathy from Riff Raff, trying to make him understand his desire to spend the rest of his life with Earthlings engaging in (um… relationships… yeah… that's a good word for it. Relationships… not… something more… physical).

Frank (Catwoman)

On the day I went away... goodbye...

Was all I had to say... now I...

I want to come again and stay... Oh my my...

Smile, and that will mean that I may

Cause I've seen blue skies, through the tears

In my eyes

And I realize.. I'm going home.

Everywhere it's been the same... feeling...

Like I'm outside in the rain... wheeling...

Free, to try and find a game... dealing...

Cards for sorrow, cards for pain

Cause I've seen blue skies through the tears

In my eyes

And I realize.. I'm going home.

I'm going home, I'm going home.

Riff Raff is unmoved and guns down Columbia, Frank, and Rocky (very dramatically) before ordering Brad, Janet, and Dr. Scott to leave. One can't help but notice that Illyana's silver costume fits right into this scene.

As the trio evacuates the castle, Riff Raff and Magenta express their excitement to return to their world, Brad and Janet watch as the castle blasts off into outer space, very confused about the implications of their sexual escapades ("Super Heroes").

Brad

I've done a lot

God knows I've tried

To find the truth

I've even lied

But all I know

Is down inside

Brad and Dr. Scott

I'm Bleeding

Janet

And super heroes

Come to feast

To taste the flesh

Not yet deceased

And all I know

Is still the beast is Feeding

The Narrator comments that "Crawling on the planet's face. Some insects called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space And meaning." As he turns off the lights.

The ending song plays as all the audience sings

Science Fiction - double-feature

Frank has built and lost his creature

Darkness has conquered Brad and Janet

The servants gone to a distant planet

Oh - at the late night double-feature Picture Show

I want to go - Ohh –

To the late night double-feature picture show.

And that… is that… As the film ends and the lights come on.