It was December and Urbana Des Moines was driving home from work after having to stay late because someone decided to quit working at Olive Garden after a week. As she was pulling into the front yard of the mansion, Urbana saw that the living room lights were on. She didn't see any other vehicles around so she couldn't think of any other reason why they'd be up so late if there wasn't a visitor.
Urbana quietly opened the front door to hear the sound of the Addams family talking with three strangers; two men and one woman by the sound of it. Too exhausted to meet new people, and needing the sleep so she can focus on her four online tests that she needs to take for the end of the semester, Urbana decided to just sneak past them and if they're gone in the morning then that's fine by her.
Urbana was working her way up the stairs when Grandmama called out, saying, "Late day at work, Dear?"
"Yah. Somebody quite working there… Again," Urbana said.
"What's with people and that restaurant," Fester said, "It's like they don't want to work."
"It's also possible that it sucks to work there and the people quitting aren't desperate for money," Urbana said.
"Why don't you come down here and meet my big brother and his friends," Morticia asked.
"No offence, but no thank you. I don't want to see hide or tail of another person until tomorrow," Urbana said.
Gomez and Fester started laughing.
Urbana groaned then asked, "Do one of them have a tail and/or hide?"
A soft baritone voice said, "That would be me."
They were still laughing when Urbana said, "Good to know… Oh, stop laughing! It's not that funny."
The Addams family wished her good night and she wished them good night too.
The next morning, with laptop in hand and Gizmo on shoulder, Urbana walked down to the kitchen so she could eat and take her tests at the same time before having to go to work. Once she entered the kitchen, she saw a young adult woman who looked at least twenty-five years old, with brown-orange hair and she was lighting a cigarette by her on-fire thumb. She saw a fish man with pretty black and blue scales eating an omelet at the table next to Fester and Morticia. Finally, she saw a big red man in a trench coat, one hand was bigger than the other and looked like it was made of stone and Pugsley was playing with his tail while he was talking with Wednesday. On top of his head was a fiery crown placed between two long curved horns.
"Good morning, Dear," Grandmama greeted, "Would you like your tofu omelet?"
"Yes, please," Urbana said as Gizmo jumped down from her shoulder to the kitchen table to eat some jellied toast.
"Urbana," Pugsley said gleefully, "Meet our Uncle Red."
Pugsley was pulling at his tail and Red said, "Woah, now. The tail's attached kid."
When Urbana's eyes met with Red's orange eyes, Urbana felt like she could see deep within him and see all of the important parts of his life, from his child hood, to his struggles, to his compassion and rage, to the loss of his father and it was all very overwhelming. She felt faint as her vision turned red.
"I gotcha," Gomez said as he supported her back.
Urbana felt her grip slip on her computer and the loud thunk of metal hitting wood snapped Urbana out of it.
"Ah! My computer," Urbana said as she hastily picked up her computer and inspecting it and opened it to make sure it was alright and would turn on. The computer was fine, but Urbana wasn't sure if she was.
"Are you alright," the fish man asked her.
"You don't look so good Dear," Morticia said, "Maybe you should rest some more."
"Oh, I'm fine," Urbana said, "I don't know what happened, but I'm fine."
Urbana then extended her hand out to Red and said, "Nice to meet you sir."
"You can also call me Hellboy," he said as he shook her hand with his rock hand.
Urbana wasn't the only one that felt what she just went through. When Hellboy faced her, it was like she managed to reach a hand into his heart and touch his soul. It wasn't painful, but it felt off and he didn't like it. He kept it to himself though and he planned on telling his friends and mother about it later.
"What are your names," Urbana asked the fish man and fire woman.
"I'm Abe," the fish man said, "Nice to meet you."
Urbana nodded at him then she turned to the fire lady who was getting up to smoke outside and she said, "Name's Liz."
She then stepped outside so she could smoke.
"Nice to meet you all. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some tests to take before I have to go to work," Urbana said to everyone.
As Urbana ate and worked on her tests she found out that Hellboy, Abe, and Liz came over from the B.P.R.D. as soon as they could when they found out that Morticia was pregnant again and that they plan on staying till the end of the month and then moving on to visit Maddie and her family in Amity Park during January.
Finally finishing her tests, Gizmo hopped onto her arm and climbed to her shoulder as she closed her laptop and said her farewells to everyone before she went back upstairs to get dressed for work.
It was another long day for Urbana as she drove through the light snow fall as the waxing moon made everything look glossy. As she pulled up into the front yard, she spotted Hellboy in her head lights. He was smoking on a cigar as the snow softly clung to him, making him look sparkly. The fiery crown on his head seemed unaffected.
Urbana got out of her car and when she was standing in front of him, she asked, "What are you doing up so late? It's 12:30am."
"I'm a night owl anyways, besides, we need to talk about what happened yesterday morning," he said putting out his cigar.
Urbana couldn't help but feel nervous, like she's done something wrong but she calmed herself down and brushed away the snow next to him so she could sit beside him.
"Has that happened to you before, because that was weird for me," Urbana said.
"Can't say it's happened to me before. Maybe something similar, but ultimately what happened yesterday morning felt more intimate. I can't explain it any other way," Hellboy said.
"Yah," Urbana agreed.
They were silent for a minute or two. Urbana took the time to enjoy the scenery, looking at how the moon light made the dark trees contrast against the sparkling snow was really beautiful to her as everything was muffled and serene.
Breaking the silence, Urbana said, "I hope I'm not being insensitive about this or anything, but I give you my condolences for the loss of your father. I know how hard it is to lose a parent, especially when you weren't ready for them to go."
"Thank you," Hellboy said, "Mother told me you have a way with ghosts."
"I don't know about that," Urbana said, "Ghosts are just people and people are just people and I just think they miss being alive is all."
"That's kind of you to say," Hellboy said as he took another cigar out of the inside of his trench coat.
"You know, we haven't had the séance yet this month, and I'll be able to participate that night," Urbana said, "If you call your father, I can help you talk with him again."
"Thank you," Hellboy said as he got out his lighter and lit his cigar, "But no thank you. I can see ghosts and ghouls just fine on my own, but I think it's better to leave him be. I'm not like my sisters, who either want to study ghosts or befriend them. I think the dead should be left alone."
Urbana chuckled then said, "Well that's rude of you."
Hellboy gave Urbana a sideways glance.
Continuing she said, "You may be done with the dead, but that doesn't mean the dead will be done with you."
"You do realize that what you just said was super ominous," Hellboy said after taking a drag of his cigar.
"Yah, but I think it just sounds ominous because people are afraid of dying… Can I try what you're smoking?" Urbana asked him.
Hellboy handed her his cigar then asked her, "So you're not afraid of dying then?"
"No. I'm afraid to die, but I think my fear of dying is like the fear a child has when they see their mother have a new hair cut or when they're use to their mother being rounder and they decide to lose weight. That kind of fear," Urbana said. Then she took a drag of the cigar and immediately started coughing up a lung.
Hellboy took back his cigar chuckling and asked, "Wrong pipe?"
"Wrong everything," Urbana said between her coughs, "Ugh, happy birthday to me."
"Today's your birthday," Urbana nodded, and he said, "Happy Birthday then."
"Thanks," Urbana said, reigning in her coughing.
After he took a drag of his cigar, Hellboy said, "So, you're afraid of the change that death creates?"
"Yah, and I find it funny that we need and crave change as people, but when we never want that change, like death, it can be scary, mainly because it can be unknowable, but for me it's because I know I won't be the same person I was when I'm alive," Urbana said.
Hellboy finished off his cigar then he stood up on his cloven hooves and said, "Come on. You're cold, aren't you? Let's get inside."
"I'll be right behind you," Urbana said as she took off her shoes, "I just want another moment to enjoy how beautiful it is tonight."
"By taking off your shoes?"
"Don't judge me, your majesty," Urbana said sarcastically, "I like the feeling of fresh snow between my toes okay."
Hellboy shrugged as he went in first while Urbana breathed in the night air and let the snow crunch beneath her sore feet. Then she went inside.
# # #
It was 10pm and Urbana had finished drawing her third comic for her Careless Whispers series. Looking out of her bedroom window she could see frost was climbing up and around the glass and Gizmo seemed restless as he jumped lazily on her bed bedside her.
Putting down her pencil she said to Gizmo, "Come on. Let's take a walk around the lake before I go to bed. It's such a beautiful night."
Gizmo purred excitedly as he can rarely go outside considering it can be mostly wet and half of the time, sunny.
Urbana slapped on an overcoat, slipped on some shoes, then she picked up Gizmo who climbed up her arm then climbed over her coat collar to sit warm next to her neck on her shoulder.
"Comfortable," she asked him, and he purred happily.
Urbana, humming that song she's forgotten the lyrics to, walked down the stairs to the first floor and she planned on cutting through the kitchen to go out its side door but then she noticed that someone was in the living room. Thinking she should at least say hi to them Urbana went over to the living room to see Abe was reading a thick book by the firelight of the fireplace.
Urbana couldn't help but think how pretty he looked with the way the firelight danced on his scales and the intense shadows contrasting against his slim body. Urbana had the intense need to draw him, but she was taking a break from doing any kind of art after finishing three comic strips, so she opted out for just telling Abe how beautiful he was.
"Oh, uh, thank you," Abe said then he looked around and asked, "What time is it?"
"It's probably 10:15pm by now," Urbana answered.
Abe closed his book and got up and stretched and said, "I should take a break. Where are you off to?"
Urbana told him her plans with Gizmo and asked him, "Do you want to join us?"
Abe hesitated for a moment then said, "I suppose some cold air would do me some good."
Urbana, Gizmo, and Abe were walking along the edge of the frozen lake, and the only thing that Abe was wearing to fend of the cold air was a loose fitting scarf around his neck to make sure his gills stayed protected and his normal scuba-diver clothes that he wears like they're normal clothes for him.
Urbana invited him out to try and get to know him on his terms since she knows him through Hellboy's eyes, but unbeknownst to her, Abe came along because he still didn't trust Urbana yet. He knows that Grandmama vouches for her and Hellboy, after having his talk with her, also thinks that she's fine, but there's too much power in being able to see into someone's soul, and he wants to know what she plans on doing with the information that she has.
"I have to say Abe," Urbana said, "You even look beautiful in moon light. Is there no lighting you don't look good in?"
"You are too kind with your words," Abe said, feeling uncomfortable with so much praise about his looks, "Have you perhaps seen Shape of Water recently?"
"Shape of what now?" Urbana asked, who avoids live action movies like they're the plague.
Abe chuckled uncomfortably and said, "Never mind."
"Oh, Abe," Urbana said in a teasing voice, "Do you watch mermaid porn when you're not reading."
Abe covered his eyes with a webbed hand as Urbana giggled.
"Shape of Water is not a porno. Yes, it has some steamy bits, but really, it's a story about a woman given a bad hand in life and finding love in an unlikely place," Abe said passionately.
Urbana was happy to hear him sound so lively and asked him, "What other movies do you love?"
Abe was starting to think about which movies he has seen that he has loved, but then he mentally kicked himself for getting distracted.
"Uh, I only watched that movie," Abe said.
"Oh," Urbana replied sounding disappointed.
The two of them were silent as they walked around a bend in the lake.
"I have a request for you and I hope you're fine with it," Urbana started to ask, "But will you let me draw you before you guys have to go or can I at least take a few photos of you in different lightings?"
"Um," Abe said as he drew out that "um" sound. He didn't know if she really did just want to draw him or if she was trying to gather information on him and then on Liz in some way, but if she can look into your soul then why would she gather information in that way? Finally, he said to her, "Maybe. I need a little more time to think about it."
"That's fair," Urbana said as she resigned to taking his maybe as a no.
"I have a question myself," Abe said, "Why do you sometimes call Hellboy, "His Majesty"?"
Urbana stopped walking and gave Abe an, are-you-stupid look then said, "Because of his floating fiery crown and big ass long horns on his head."
Abe has only ever known Hellboy to have a receding hairline and two ground down horn nubs on top of his forehead. He's only ever had his horns grow out when he's being forced to use his Right Hand of Doom.
Angry and scared, Abe pulled out his hidden gun and aimed it at Urbana.
"Ah, shit," Urbana said as Gizmo growled loudly.
"What are you," Abe asked.
Instead of answering, Urbana was trying to calm Gizmo down.
"How are you working for Rasputin," Abe asked as he kept his gun trained on her heart.
"Abe," Urbana said, sounding like a mother who was comforting a child after they had a nightmare, "What did I say that scared you?"
"He doesn't have long horns or a crown on him," Abe said defiantly then he added, "What do you want with my friend?"
Still petting Gizmo so that he'd stay calm Urbana said, "I'm going to walk up to you, slowly, and I'm going to trust that you won't shoot me."
Urbana closed the distance between them as Abe steeled himself. Once Urbana's face was an inch away from his gun barrel, Urbana said, "I'm sorry I scared you Abe. I thought everyone could see his horns and crown and that everyone was just fine with it, so I didn't question it. I know so much about him and about you and Liz through him. I just wanted to try being friends with you on your own terms since I'm just a stranger in your eyes."
Abe could see tears sliding down her face.
"If you think I'm a danger to the safety of the world though, I won't blame you," Urbana said then she gently placed her forehead on the gun barrel, her eyes closed tight as Gizmo continued to growl at him.
Abe felt a wave of regret and shame wash over him. He put away his gun and covered his face with a webbed hand.
"I'm sorry," he said.
Urbana wrapped him in a hug and said in a rush of words and emotion, "That was scary. How scared were you cause, I was scared a lot? Having a gun pointed in your direction a second time doesn't make having a gun pointed at you in general any easier. I was not ready to die. Thank you for not shooting me. How are you feeling?"
"A lot," Abe said hugging her back. The overcoat she was wearing made her feel soft and fluffy and it was comforting.
"I promise that the whole looking-into-his-soul thing was an accident and I've never done it before. I don't even know why I'm able to do it," Urbana said to him.
"I should have trusted Grandmama and Hellboy's decision about you and I should have just asked," Abe said, "The only other demon that you have around you is Gizmo, and Gizmo is more of a really smart demon animal than a person like Hellboy. Of course, you wouldn't have experienced anything like you did before."
"I think that's enough fresh air for us," Urbana said, then asked, "Do you want to head inside?"
"Yah," Abe said.
The two of them didn't stop hugging each other yet. They stayed silent as the quiet of the snow cocooned them to their own thoughts. It was Urbana that broke off the hug first and the two of them cut through the frozen lake to get back to the house quicker.
"Should we tell anyone about what happened," Urbana asked him.
"I'll be telling Grandmama, Hellboy, and Liz," Abe said, "I'll leave it to you to tell the rest of the family."
"Should I tell, Hellboy what I see about him," Urbana asked.
"I think you should," Abe said, "But that's up to you."
"Okay."
"… You've had a gun pointed at you before?" Abe asked.
"I think I was in the seventh grade when some stupid kid brought his hand gun to school because he thought it looked pretty and he wanted to show it off," Urbana said, "As soon as a teacher saw him pointing it at me he was immediately suspended. It was unloaded but that boy was still an idiot."
The two of them continued making small talk with each other as they walked back to the mansion and then eventually separating from each other to go to their separate rooms. Both of them had trouble going to sleep that night.
# # #
Urbana was drawing an animal in the kitchen with Beetlejuice and Pugsley describing the animal without telling her what the animal is. Wednesday and Lydia were in town watching a new horror movie that came out. Grandmama was making tofu vegetable soup in the kitchen for dinner. Fester was in the attic working on a new chemical experiment. Hellboy and Morticia were hanging out in the living room and talking to each other. Gomez was practicing his fencing behind the house. Abe was in the library reading and Liz was wandering around aimlessly.
Eventually Liz wandered into the kitchen when Urbana finished drawing a hose faced, snake necked, stilt legged, goat footed, polka-dotted animal.
"Is that a renaissance drawing of a giraffe," Liz asked as she looked over Urbana's shoulder.
"Yah, we were trying to get her to draw a giraffe," Beetlejuice said.
"Let us see it," Pugsley asked.
Urbana turned around her drawing pad that Beetlejuice gave her for her birthday.
Beetlejuice started laughing at how hilarious the abomination creature looked and Pugsley looked disappointed.
"It's really hard to describe things," Pugsley said.
"Eh, it just takes practice kid," Beetlejuice said, slapping him on the back.
Hellboy walked in holding a used tea set and he said to his mother, "We're done with tea. Is the sink free, Mother?"
"Yes, it's free, but give me a kiss real quick," Grandmama said.
Hellboy sighed, slightly annoyed.
"Oh, don't give me that," Grandmama said as she went up to her son, "I barely get to see you anymore. I've got to give you as much love as I can."
"I know," Hellboy said as he leaned down so Grandmama could give him a kiss on the cheek.
Urbana couldn't help but awe at the sight.
"Are you really going to do that every time Mother kisses me," Hellboy asked Urbana.
"Yes. It's reflex by now," Urbana answered.
Pugsley went off to get dressed to go outside and play with his father in the snow while Beetlejuice was trying and failing to flirt with Hellboy.
Turning to Liz, Urbana asked, "Do you want to hang out together before dinner starts?"
"Don't you have work tonight?" Liz asked.
"Naw, I have today off and then I have my Choir Recital off too," Urbana said.
"Then do you have homework," Liz asked.
"What? No. Winter break started for me like a week ago," Urbana said, "You know. I'm not going to force you to hang out with me. You can say no if you don't want to."
"Okay," then she left the kitchen.
"Bitch," Beetlejuice said.
"Beetlejuice," Urbana scolded.
"Just sayin'," he said as he leaned back in his chair, "Why are you trying to hang out with her anyways?"
"I'm trying to get to know her," Urbana said.
"Don't you already know her through Beautiful over here," Beetlejuice said while pointing a thumb at Hellboy.
"Yah, but that's through his perspective. I want to know her through my perspective," Urbana said, "I think it would be cool, cause we've got similar powers."
"You can talk to ghosts and look into the souls of demons. How is that similar," Hellboy asked as he finished up doing his dishes.
"They both have an energy to them, Dear," Grandmama answered, "It's raw and powerful and they both seem to be unlimited."
"Yep, that looks and sounds like my kid sister," Beetlejuice said proudly.
With a small smile she rolled her eyes at him then she looked down at her hands and said, "I just want to talk to someone who's like me. Even if it's only a little bit," Urbana said.
Having finished his dishes, Hellboy dried off his hands then he patted Urbana's head with his left hand as he was leaving the kitchen and he said, "Just keep trying. She'll warm up to you eventually."
"You think it'll go faster if I set myself on fire?" Urbana asked jokingly.
"No."
Beetlejuice chuckled at her stupid joke as Hellboy left to go visit with his little sister some more.
Dinner was ready, Lydia and Wednesday were back from watching their movie, and Urbana was tasked to find everyone else and tell them that Grandmama was ready to serve. Urbana went to the library to look for Abe but instead found Liz who was looking out the window as it was snowing again.
Urbana could see that she was deep in thought, and not wanting to startle her, she fake coughed loudly to get her attention gently, however she still managed to frighten her. A spark lit in Urbana afro and fire immediately started to spread on her head. While Liz rushed to help her put out her hair, Urbana, thinking quick, started taking off her shirt then she covered her head with her shirt and together the two women patted away the fire.
While Urbana was putting her shirt back on Liz was apologizing profusely and was explaining herself. Urbana then grabbed her hand and asked her to take a moment to breath and let her say something. Liz took that moment to breath.
Then Urbana said, "I forgive you and I do not blame you. I understand it was an accident." She said this to Liz because it was something she's always wanted someone to say to her when she's made a mistake and she hoped it would bring her comfort. Then she said, "Dinner's ready and I'm trying to find everyone else. Have you seen Abe?"
"Yah, he's in his room," Liz said, and Urbana thought she was acting a lot calmer.
"Alright, then I'll see you downstairs," Urbana said as she left her in the library.
Liz didn't know how to feel about how calm she was about being set on fire. Maybe it was because she knows her through Hellboy or maybe she's just that cool headed in such situations. Whichever it is, Liz did feel comforted by her words.
The next morning Hellboy and Urbana were hanging out together in the cemetery gazebo. Hellboy was smoking a cigar while he was watching the ghost children play together and Urbana was singing Christmas carols to the kids.
Hellboy was taking out another cigar and was about to light it with his lighter but Liz lit it for him as she came out from the kitchen side door. He told her thank you and while she was still singing, Urbana waved a hello at her. Liz sat with Hellboy as she smoked and listened to Urbana sing.
"Are you having fun spending time with your sister, mom, and niece and nephew," Liz asked him.
"I am. Wednesday and Pugsley are getting so big. I can hardly believe it's been fifteen years since Wednesday was born," Hellboy said.
"How are they liking their presents," Liz asked.
"As far as I can tell, they enjoy them," he answered.
Urbana finished singing Jingle Bell Rock and the little kids and Hellboy clapped at her performance.
"Awe, shucks guys. You're all too nice. Now, which song should I sing next for you kids," Urbana asked Reta and her gang.
"Frosty the Snowman," Reta asked.
Urbana agreed and started singing the song and some of the kids were singing with her. After she finished singing that song the kids decided to run off and do whatever ghost kids like to do.
"Do you hang out here often with the graveyard ghosts," Liz asked Urbana.
"I'm only here for the kids," Urbana said, "Being dead as a child is hard, especially if you're a baby and, well, I try to give them comfort in small ways that never change, like reading stories or singing songs."
She took a drag from her cigarette, then she said, "You have a good heart."
Urbana shrugged and said, "I try."
Hellboy, finished his cigar, got up, said his goodbyes, then he went back inside to play with Wednesday and/or Pugsley.
With Hellboy gone, Liz felt free to ask, "Do you have a crush on Abe?"
Urbana gave her a confused look and asked, "What makes you say that?"
Liz flicked her cigarette into the snow and as she was taking out another one, she said, "Because you say things to him like, "What's cooking good-looking," and stuff like that."
"Yah. And?"
Liz was getting confused by her confusion, "And. So do you think of him romantically?"
"No. I don't," Urbana said, confused as to how complementing how someone looks gets equaled to having romantic feelings. Then she asked with a mischievous little smile, "Do you have a crush on Abe?"
"God no. He's like a big brother to me," Liz said before taking a drag on her cigarette, "Look. I just don't want his heart getting broken. He's not used to the kind of attention you're giving him."
"Okay."
They were quiet for a bit while Liz smoked, and Urbana looked through the trees and at the snow.
Urbana then asked, "So, who are you going to call for the séance tomorrow night?"
"No one," she said flatly.
"Not even your family?" Urbana asked.
Saying nothing, Liz flicked her cigarette butt into the snow and got out a third one. Urbana's only ever seen her smoke two at a time before, so she got the feeling that she's upsetting her.
"I'm sure your parents and brother would love to see you again," Urbana said.
Liz tried to light her cigarette but instead she accidentally lit Urbana's overcoat sleeve on fire. Her coat wasn't burning as fast as her hair was, but Liz still panicked at the sight of the fire, especially since Urbana didn't move to put it out.
Firmly, Urbana said, "Don't come near me. I'll be fine. You're only distracting yourself from a conversation you don't want to have."
Urbana then got up and walked over to a snowbank and smothered the fire that had reached to her elbow.
"Listen," Urbana said, as she dusted the snow off of herself, "I can tell that you're scared at the thought of seeing your family. Especially after you've been blaming yourself for so long over an accident. But I think it's time for you to start forgiving yourself and speak with yourself fully."
Urbana then left her at the gazebo feeling huffy while Liz felt dejected. Urbana's words echoed in her head and Liz wasn't sure about them. She still thought that she shouldn't forgive herself since it wasn't just her family she killed with her fire, but there was still a part of her that wanted to see them, especially her mother. She lit her cigarette then took a deep breath and inhaled half of her cigarette.
It was the séance and Urbana felt dead tired from having to do an evening shift yesterday and then a morning shift that morning. The room was set, the gargoyle bell was out, everyone was present, and Urbana was ready to talk with her mother again. Leading the séance like normal, Morticia invited her father and random dead relatives while Urbana invited her mother.
Rosie, upon arrival, screamed at the sight of Hellboy.
"Well, that's rude," Hellboy said to her.
"Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry sir, that slipped out on accident I swear," Rosie said.
"Mom, you live in the Neitherworld, I would think people like Hellboy would be a normal occurrence," Urbana asked her.
"That doesn't mean I don't get surprised," Rosie said.
"Well, thank you for apologizing," Hellboy said, then he went to work helping the other ghosts talk to the rest of the family.
"How goes the search for Grandpa," Urbana asked.
"We just got confirmation from Hell, that your Grandpa wasn't registered in that place and we're still waiting on Heaven to inform us to see if he's there," Rosie said then added, "We hired a detective who specializes in deep diving into the lost parts of the Neitherworld but we still haven't had any luck."
"He's been dead ever since I was born, I hope he can give me some kind of advice since he's like me," Urbana said.
"I'm sure that he can, Honey," Rosie said, "Now tell me how your month has been going."
Urbana told her mother about how her job sucks still but she's being paid pretty well, and that she's earning more money through her comic job. She told her about school and what her friends in Amity Park were up to and she told her about her newfound ability. When Rosie pointed out how her hair looked lopsided, Urbana told her about the fire accidents.
"I guess you could say she's warming up to me," Urbana said, trying to make light of the situation.
Liz was praying to herself to get through the night when she heard Urbana's joke.
Sighing, Rosie said, "You and your father love your puns… Please take this seriously. She's dangerous."
"Naw, it's just a hunk, a hunk of burning love," Urbana said then gave her mother some finger gun action.
While Rosie was trying to get her daughter to accept how dangerous her situation was and Urbana was meeting her mother's concern with stupid fire jokes, Liz was praying for Urbana to stop and she wished that her mother was there.
A woman appeared in the room that Urbana has never seen before. She looked like Liz but instead of orangeish-brown hair she had blond hair and she had burn marks smeared across her skin. Hellboy, Urbana, and Morticia greeted her.
"Never seen you before," Urbana told her, "How'd you get here? What's your name?"
"I'm Mary Sherman," the woman said.
Hellboy looked the most affected then he whispered something to Liz and Liz said, "Mom?"
"Elizabeth?" The dead woman said to the young woman before her. There were tears in Mary's eyes as she looked at Liz, "You've gotten so big."
Hellboy repeated what the woman said.
Liz immediately started apologizing and crying about how she killed her and her father and brother. Mary tried to calm her daughter down and reassure her by embracing her, but she only fazed through her.
Urbana then stood up and decided to do something reckless.
"Mrs. Sherman. Do I have your permission to touch you?"
"You can touch me?" Mary asked, confused, but everyone else that has known Urbana, gasped or tried to dissuade her.
"Yes, I can touch you," Urbana said ignoring everyone, "I'll give you an energy boost so you can touch your daughter."
"Then please do," Mary said.
Urbana placed her hands on her arm and Urbana could feel that slow draining feeling, and Mary was already looking more solid than she did before, but that wasn't enough for Urbana. These two haven't seen each other since Liz was a child, they deserve a chance to be able to talk to each other without needing a middleman. So, Urbana took a deep breath and looked within herself and imagined that the energy inside her was like a large pitcher of water and Mary was a parched hydrangea, and she poured every ounce of water on the hydrangea. In her mind, Urbana saw the hydrangea bloom big pink flowers.
When Urbana let go of Mary, she felt lightheaded and could barely keep her eyes open when she said, "Have a good time." Her own voice sounded muffled to her and she couldn't hear anyone else, she knew they were talking but she didn't know what they were saying. Urbana promptly fell back into her chair and passed out.
When Urbana woke up, she was in her room and Abe was reading in a chair beside her bed. Urbana sat up and yawned and asked, "What'ch'ya reading?"
"That doesn't matter,' Abe said as he closed his book, "I'm going to go tell the other's you're awake. Don't get out of bed."
Urbana absentmindedly giggled as he left. She had to pee really badly, so she got out of bed but accidentally fell down. She giggled to herself and call herself Jell-O legs. She then crawled her way to the secret door to her bathroom and got herself situated. While she was washing her hands Grandmama and Morticia barged into the bathroom.
"What are you doing out of bed," Morticia said.
"I had to pee," Urbana said as she was still washing her hands.
Grandmama came over and confiscated Urbana's bar of soap, turned off the water and said, "You're trying to wash your hands with a decorative glass rock, Urbana. Go back to bed."
Giggling she said, "I was wondering why it wouldn't lather."
Morticia tried to help her walk back to her bed but Urbana wasn't having it since Morticia was pregnant and shouldn't do anything because she's pregnant.
Then the rest of the family barged into her room when Urbana got back into bed. Pugsley and Wednesday crawled into bed with her and hugged her from both sides. Urbana didn't know what was going on with everyone, but her focus was mainly on Liz.
"Were you able to have fun with your Mom," Urbana asked Liz.
She nodded.
"Okay. Good," Urbana said. Then she looked out the window and saw that it was twilight, and it was nighttime when she gave Mary her energy. She looked around for her phone, found it, and saw that it was two days since she gave Mary her energy.
Urbana tried to get up again but Wednesday and Pugsley were holding her down, "I've got to get to work."
"We've called your workplace for you already," Hellboy said, "Just rest for now."
"What they say," Urbana asked him as he gently pushed her back into bed.
"That they understand, and they hope you feel better soon," Hellboy replied.
"Alright, let's get out of here," Gomez said.
Together, Gomez, Fester, and Lurch helped chaperone everyone out of Urbana's room so she could go back to sleep. The only one that was left alone was Liz.
"Thank you again," Liz said, "for what you did. You really shouldn't have done that but thank you."
"And I'll do it again too," Urbana said with a little drool escaping her mouth.
"Please don't," Liz said as she sat down where Abe was sitting.
"You know what we should do together. We should watch Avatar: The Last Airbender specifically that one episode in book three about the Sun Warriors," Urbana said.
"Oh, really," Liz said, talking to Urbana like she's drunk.
"It's good show," Urbana said, "Give you positive thoughts on fire. May not help a lot, but positivity can be good."
"I guess so," Liz said, still talking to her like she's drunk.
# # #
Urbana was walking out of her room, feeling the liveliest she's felt since she gave Liz's mother her energy; she was humming and dance-walking when she felt something sharp pierced her right ankle and drag her down and pulled her into the wall. She hit the wall so hard that one of the oil paintings fell on her. Urbana tried to pull her leg away from the wall, but she felt skin and tendons tear. She put her hands around it and pulled and saw that it was a plant and she could tell it was drinking her blood.
"Audrey!" Urbana screamed with pure rage as she pulled at the vine as hard as she could then brought it up to her mouth and tore it apart. Her own blood squirted in her face as the decapitated vine slithered back to where it came from.
Urbana pried the head of the vine off of her ankle, then she stomped off to her room grabbed her fencing sword and started stomping off to go to the greenhouse but in her rage she didn't notice Hellboy was in front of her and she ran in to him.
He was alarmed by all of the blood on her face and he asked, "Urbana what happened? I heard shouting and are you bleeding from your ankle?"
"Get out of my way, Your Majesty. I've got a weed to whack," Urbana told him as she tried to get around him.
Hellboy grabbed her sword hand and said, "You need to calm down before you lose too much blood. You need to tell me what happened."
"What I need right now is to throw Audrey into a salad bowl and pour dressing on him, see how he'd like to be eaten alive," Urbana said as she tried to wriggle out of his stone grip.
"Audrey. Morticia's prized plant that Gomez got her? He's all the way down in the green house," Hellboy said.
"I know," Urbana said, talking to Hellboy like he's stupid, "The plant bastard has grown vines and probably roots all inside the cracks of this house. Now let go."
Urbana then dropped her sword so she could slip her hand through his grip then she quickly picked up her sword and ran off before Hellboy could catch her again. Right in front of the stairs, a popping sound emanated from her bleeding ankle and she accidentally fell down the flight of stairs.
Hellboy ran to the stairs to see Urbana was crumpled in on herself but she was trying to get back up on her feet.
"Are you okay," he asked as he raced down the steps.
"Don't worry about me," Urbana said, feeling sore and managing to sit right side up, "I've fallen down stairs before."
"Don't say that like it's good you're use to that sort of thing," Hellboy said as he pulled out a roll of gauze from his trench coat.
"You carry gauze?"
"I carry a lot of things in my coat," Hellboy said as he started wrapping up her ankle, "It's not unusual for me to be swept up into another dimension or time, so having small things like this on me helps."
Once he was finished wrapping her up, Urbana tried to stand on her own again but Hellboy picked her up bridal style so that she wouldn't hurt herself again and also so she can't run off like the idiot she's being.
Urbana could only glare at him.
"Look. You can pout all you want but that won't change the fact that you are hurt, and you need a moment to clear your head. Going into a fight blinded by rage isn't a smart thing to do," he said.
Urbana knew he was speaking from experience, so she stopped glaring at him. Urbana also knew he was going to walk super slow until he was sure that she was calm enough. Urbana started to stare at the crown on his head and she decided she wanted to touch it. Urbana's hand passed through his horns and fiery crown but Hellboy felt a shiver go from the tip of his tail to the back of his neck and he almost dropped her.
"Whatever you just did, please don't do it again," Hellboy said.
Urbana quickly gripped her sword with both of her hands and promptly apologized.
They were silent for a couple of seconds then Hellboy asked, "How many times have you fallen down stairs?"
"This is the third time," Urbana said.
"What happened the other times," Hellboy asked thinking she just tripped those other times, considering how clumsy he thinks she is.
"First time was at my new school. I had been there for a year and I trusted the wrong people again with the knowledge of my ghost sight and one of the kids decided to push me down the school stairs for funsies," Urbana said then she continued, "The second time was around a year after Mom had died but she hadn't moved on yet and she was addicted to the energy I produce and well, I was at the top of the stairs when she was kissing me goodnight and I fainted and ended up in a three day coma."
Hellboy was silent as they continued walking down the stairs.
"You regret asking," Urbana asked him.
"No. I just don't know what to say. Nothing good comes to mind other than a simple, I'm sorry," he said.
"Thank you. That's all you really can say," Urbana said as she patted his chest. Then to change the subject she said, "You're going to be a great husband someday."
"Am I now," Hellboy said with a slight smile, "What makes you say that?"
Listing things off of her fingers she started to say, "Well, you are good with kids. You have a nice smile. You're strong enough to carry a 200lbs woman considering you haven't broken a sweat yet with me. You've lived a long and interesting life, so talking with you would be interesting and fun. And those are just the things that are coming to me from the top of my head" Urbana said finishing.
"That's high praise. Thank you, but I don't think I'll ever get married or have kids," Hellboy said.
"Because of your job, and the fact you are hounded by Hell to open its gates onto earth and what not," Urbana said.
Hellboy nodded.
"Yah. I understand," Urbana said, "I don't think I'll get married or have kids either, because of my job and mainly because I don't think I like the idea of getting married or having kids. But if you like the idea, then I'm sure one day, you will have what you want."
Hellboy gave her a big beautiful smile and said, "Thanks."
They made it to the first floor and the first person to see them was Grandmama.
"My child, what happened," Grandmama said, "You were just starting to get better too."
"Audrey is what happened to me," Urbana said, her rage starting to boil again.
Hellboy cleared his throat and gave her a look.
Urbana forced herself to take a deep breath and said in a strained voice, "We need to have a family meeting about Audrey. Somewhere that isn't in this mansion."
"I know just the place," Grandmama said.
The Addams family and Urbana were cramped in Cousin It's office as he was looking over the x-rays of Urbana's ankle while everyone else was discussing what to do about Audrey.
Morticia was in tears in her chair, and Hellboy was holding her hand and Gomez was hugging her from behind.
"I'm sorry everyone," Morticia said, "I know I'm crying too much over this, and I know that Audrey is dangerous, but the thought of having to kill him, my little carnivorous baby, it just chokes me up. I thought I was doing a good job in teaching him to be a good boy."
"I know my love," Gomez said, "But we can only do so much before they start making decisions of their own and Audrey has chosen to do harm."
Then Hellboy added, "Besides, once we kill him, we can find the best part of him and put it in one of those liquid glass-like things—"
"Resin?" Urbana asked.
"—Yes! We'll put a bit of him in some resin and we can make it a necklace and you'll be able to keep carrying him around near your heart," Hellboy finished.
Rubbing her softly round stomach, Morticia took a couple of deep breaths and said, "Okay. Let's do this."
"So how are we going to kill Audrey without destroying our mansion," Fester said, "It's capable of healing, but it's not invulnerable."
"I think we've lost any chance of surprising him too," Wednesday added, "Especially since we all left our house in a hurry."
"And who knows how deeply rooted Audrey is into our house," Pugsley stated.
"Well, he's rooted enough to make it to the fifth floor," Urbana said as she sat with her leg up in the air, resting on some pillows.
"Audrey is still a plant," Grandmama said, "A very strange plant, but a plant, nonetheless. We'll have to poison him."
"With what exactly? It needs to be instant, since I'm sure he won't go down without a fight," Abe said.
"What if Liz burnt it to death," Pugsley asked.
"No way, kid," Liz said, "I could accidentally burn your house down in the process."
"What about your chemicals, Uncle Fester," Wednesday asked.
"Too dangerous," Fester said, "We might get hurt in the process with my chemicals.
"In my biology class I learned that plants that aren't native to the sea hate salt so what if we gave him an overdose of salt," Urbana offered.
"Not quick enough," Grandmama stated.
"I have a suggestion," Cousin It said.
Cousin It told the rest of the family his plan in disguising Hellboy with an illusion potion that Grandmama can make and Urbana had enough blood in her left to give up one and a half litters of blood to pour instant weed killer in her blood to trick Audrey to drink. Then while he's digesting the poison the rest of the family will just wait it out.
"I'm assuming I'll be illusioned to look like Morticia," Hellboy said.
"If anything. Right now, Morticia's the only person he would trust since she's been taking care of him this whole time," Cousin It said then added, "The rest of the family can stay here until this all blows over."
"Okay, I can give up some blood," Urbana said, "But someone hold my hand. I don't like needles or blood."
"How'd you stay awake with all that blood on your face then?" Abe asked.
"Pure rage," was her simple answer.
Grandmama managed to make a simple illusion potion that would last Hellboy five minutes. Lurch then got the bottle of weed killer that Hellboy, Liz, and Abe will pour into the bottle of blood Urbana donated when they get to the mansion. Before leaving, everyone wished the trio good luck and they said they'll call when they know it's safe for them to return to the mansion.
While the three of them were gone, Urbana had to get a cast on her ankle.
"Ugh! This is so stupid. I've already missed four days of work. How long will I need to wear this?" Urbana asked Cousin It.
"You have multiple puncture fractures all around your ankle where he bit you, and if you hadn't of started walking on it like you did, you would have only need a simple brace, but you see this here," Cousin It said as he pointed at her x-ray, "You see this long crack going up your lateral malleolus. You'll be out of commission for at least two months. You're lucky you don't have to have surgery."
"I can't not work for two months," Urbana said, sounding panicked, "I've got rent and car debit repairs to pay for. Oh, God, and the book rental's I'll have to get for school soon."
"Dear, please relax," Gomez said, "You don't have to pay us. We can wait until you get better and can get back to work."
"I'll be moving out of the mansion eventually after I graduate and what you're offering isn't what happens in real life," Urbana said.
Grandmama then smacked her upside the head.
"Ow, Grandmama what was—"
"You are in real life! You stubborn little shit. We care about your health and well-being and you are going to accept our kindness. We are not going to put you in a position where you have to fight to survive. Okay!?"
"… Okay. I'm sorry, Grandmama. Everyone. Thank you," Urbana said.
Grandmama sighed and said, "I'm sorry for blowing up at you like that."
"No. No. I needed that," Urbana said.
While Urbana was paying off her hospital bill, Morticia got a call from Hellboy who gave them the O.K. to come back to the house.
When they got to the house, Hellboy, Liz, and Abe looked awful.
Morticia and Grandmama went up to Hellboy to console him and the rest of the family talked to Liz and Abe.
"Glad to see you still have all of your limbs," Fester said.
"What happened in there," Wednesday asked Abe and Liz.
They told them about how Hellboy successfully convinced Audrey into thinking that he was Morticia and that he killed Urbana for him to drink her blood. When Audrey drank the tainted blood though, he didn't go down immediately. There was a least a thirty-minute scuffle with Audrey trying to grab and eat them alive. Finally, he died but then his body continued to flail for the next twenty-minutes before they could confirm that it was dead. The greenhouse and half of the house where he rooted himself got trashed but he should be gone.
"I wish I could have been there," Pugsley said, "I could have helped with my swords."
The family went back into the messed-up mansion and everyone decided that Liz, Abe, and Hellboy should get patched up first, then everyone took a nap before cleaning the house.
# # #
Urbana was hobbling out of her college auditorium with the rest of her choir members as they had finished their show. Urbana met up with the Addams family. The González family didn't come this Christmas Recital because they came over on Wednesday's quinceanera.
"Have you guys seen my Dad?" Urbana asked them.
"No. Not yet," Grandmama said.
"Oh. Okay. Fester, can I have my bag back," Urbana asked him.
Fester gave back her bag and she rummaged around in it and pulled out three drawings to give to Hellboy, Abe, and Liz.
"Here. Since you are all leaving tonight. These are my late Christmas presents to you," Urbana said as she handed her portrait drawings of them, to them, "Thanks for coming."
Liz hugged her and said, "We enjoyed being here."
Hellboy pated her head and said, "You stay out of trouble. Okay."
"No promises," Urbana said.
Abe tried to give her a handshake, but Urbana booed him then she dropped her crutches to give the fish man a hug.
"Sorry we can't stay any longer," Abe said when Urbana stopped hugging him.
Pugsley handed Urbana back her crutches as the rest of the family said their goodbyes to the trio.
"You guys have my phone number," Urbana said, "So if you guys are having a ghost problem, I'll be more than happy to help."
"We'll keep that in mind," Hellboy said.
After Grandmama gave Hellboy a few more goodbye kisses and Morticia gave him a long hug, the three of them left the school building while the rest of the Addams family stuck around to socialize with the other college student's family members.
Urbana looked around and asked her classmates if they have seen her father. Eventually, she decided to call him.
"Hello," Bob said, sounding like he just woke up.
"Dad, did you fall asleep in the auditorium," Urbana asked him.
"What?" Bob asked, sounding confused.
Sighing, Urbana asked, "Where are you?... I want to give you a hug."
"I'm at home," Bob said before yawning.
"Already?" Urbana asked.
"I never left, Urbana," Bob said, "Look. I had a long day of doing people's hair for the school's winter dance and I decided not to go. I know you sang wonderfully."
"Oh…"
"I hope you had a merry Christmas," Bob said.
"Thanks. Bye Dad," Urbana said.
"Bye Sweetie," Bob said before Urbana hung up.
This was Urbana's last Christmas Recital. Urbana wanted to be angry, but she couldn't.
Wednesday came over to her holding two plates of tiny crackers and hummus.
"Thanks," Urbana said as she placed her phone in her bra and took the plate from her.
"You sang beautifully," Wednesday said.
"Thank you for coming," Urbana told her with a small smile."
"We enjoy it," she said, "I can't wait to see you do it next year."
"There won't be a next year," Urbana said.
"Why not," Wednesday asked.
"Well, after this coming semester is over my scholarship will be over and one of the mandatory requirements for my scholarship was to be in choir and do well in it. There's no point in being in choir after that," Urbana said before taking a bite of cracker.
"That's too bad," Wednesday said.
Urbana shrugged and said, "Eh, it just gives me more time to work in Lurch's band."
"Oh. That's true," Wednesday said.
Pugsley then ran over and pulled at his sister's hand and said, "I found a forbidden door. Come look at it with me."
The two of them ran off and Urbana was left alone with her thoughts.