A/N: …The chapter that should be titled Fucked up date night pt. 1... enjoy

~Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you,

Always,

Kiss you, taste you, all night,

Always~

~Blink 182~

My life of crime had started with a handful of make up. The shoplifting a small thing really, in comparison to my most recent crimes. I sat in the lobby of the motel, watching Joker bark orders at his guys. I was a million miles away, thinking about all of my recent sins while I chewed my cuticles.

I followed the line in my head. The lipstick led to the delivery of the box. The box delivery led to Joker. Joker led to accomplice to murder. Accomplice led to assisted torture. Torture led to murder. I let out a strange giggle that thankfully only I heard.

Why wasn't all of this bothering me more. This should be bothering me. I should be riddled with guilt. Right? The taste of blood pulled me back from my thoughts. I had chewed a bit to far into my finger than I had meant to. I pinched the bleeding digit in my hand.

I stood from the small tabletop I sad been sitting on and moved into the kitchen to look for a bandage. I had to rummage through two different drawers before I found a small first aid kit. I washed my wound clean and wrapped it in a My Little Pony bandage that was in the kit. I looked at the Rainbow Dash on my finger and laughed again.

I cleaned my mess and turned to go back into the lobby. Most of the men had left, the only ones in the room was Joker and, of course, my least favorite goon. Handsy was waiting for Joker to get off of the phone.

I walked up to them and waited, and maybe tried to eavesdrop a little.

"I never doubted it." Joker said, as he smacked his lips. "Mmhm by the end of day." he hung up the phone and slid it into his pocket.

He looked up and noticed I was standing there. "Oh Princess, that was our buddy from the bar."

"Good news I hope?"

He laughed. "Paid in full."

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a slip of paper, handing it to his goon. "Take the goods here, then enjoy your evening."

The man left without a word. Joker waited until he was out of the door before he turned to face me.

"Let's have a night on the town."

I looked at him, "Doing what?" I asked.

"Causing some trouble."

"Sure, why not."

He smiled, a strange large smile, yellowed teeth showing. I shook my head and move to go to his room. I needed my keys so I could go home and get ready.

He followed me, just a few steps behind. I opened his door and stepped into the cold room. He closed the door and walked past me and fell back onto the bed. I grabbed my keys from the table and walked over to stand between his legs.

"I'm going to the apartment to get dressed."

I leaned down and kissed his red smeared face. I moved to stand up again and he grabbed my elbow, yanking me down. My full weight landing on him. He grunted and then kissed me again. The kiss was deeper, making my toes curl.

He abruptly shoved me away. "See you later." he said, moving from the bed to the shower.

I turned and left. Unsure what all of that was about, I climbed int my car and drove to my place. I parked my car and hurried upstairs. Once inside I showered. I skipped washing my hair it would take too long to dry. I Got out of the shower and stood in front of my mirror.

I had no idea what he was planning, or what he considered a fun night. I decided to straighten my hair and tie it back. I kept my make up natural, but used the red lipstick. I dressed in skinny jeans and I small babydoll tee. I decided to bring my gun, so I put on my waist holster. I grabbed a hoodie and tugged it on but left the front unzipped.

I felt ready, curious to see what he considered a night out on the town. I hurried back down to my car and drove back to the motel. It was just starting to get dark as I pulled in and parked. I got out and made my way back up to his room. I decided to knock on the door instead of barge in like I usually did.

I was left speechless when he opened the door. He was standing there, bare faced. He wore jeans and a T shirt. He looked amazingly normal. In the dim light, you couldn't even see the scars on his face.

"You ready?" I asked, after I mentally shook myself.

"Let's go paint the town red." he pushed past me and headed to one of his cars.

I pulled his door closed and followed, fear and excitement pulsed through me. I slid into the passenger seat and off we sped. He drove like a madman. The first stop was a picking up Chinese take-out. Once we got the food he drove us to an old abandoned amusement park.

He parked the car and we walked into the heart of the park. It was pretty creepy, the abandoned rides and booths. The stuffed animal prized had rotted into piles of dingy cotton. I stepped closer to Joker's side. We finally stopped at the Ferris Wheel.

He handed me the bag of food and skipped over to the control panel. I watched as he pressed a few button and the wheel started to move very slowly. The carts shimmied as it turned. Then he froze it with a cart at the ground level.

"Come on princess, hop in." I walked over to the cart and dusted the leaves and dirt from the seat. He grabbed a control from the panel and moved to sit next to me. I felt a bit queasy as he closed the gate and started up the wheel again.

The creaks and moans from the metal had stopped by the time we reached the top. He stopped us there and I had to admit the sight of Gotham all lit up was pretty. He shoved a container in my hand and I pulled my attention back to him.

"Thanks."

We ate in silence, enjoying the view. I only finished half, giving the rest to Joker. He took it and ate it without issue.

When we were finished, he put all of the empty containers in the bag and scooted closer to me. I couldn't help but laugh as he did fake stretch to put his arm around my shoulders.

"You know, this almost feels like a real date." I said as I put my head on his shoulder.

He hummed his agreement. The wind lightly rocked the cart we were in. His phone broke the silence, the ring tone shrill. He reached his free hand into his pocket and looked at the screen.

"Hello?"

I watched his face as he listened to whoever was on the phone.

"Good."

"Business?" I couldn't help but yawn. The rocking lulling me into a sleepy state.

"Oh no, princess, that was the next part of our date."

The look of mischief in his eyes was exhilarating. I smiled up at him.

"Well? When is that happening?"

He looked at his watch, "Mmmm now."

The sound was deafening. My eyes flew to the Gotham skyline, somewhere in downtown Gotham, a building had exploded. I couldn't take my eyes off of the strange orange glow that came from it.

I turned to look at his face. "What now?"

He grinned, "Now we go have some fun."

He moved our cart to the bottom and we hurried back to his car.

"You drive, I have to get my face on." he said as he tossed me the keys.

I got in the car and waited, he dug through the trunk and then got into the car. He had a bag he was digging through.

"Where am I headed?"

"Head towards 25th and Central." he said, already smearing the thick white pain over his skin.

I headed that way. Trying not to jostle him too much as I headed to 25th street. We were close enough to the explosion that I could hear the sirens, but far enough away that we could still drive freely. I turned onto central and looked over into the painted face of Joker.

"Park over there" he pointed.

I pulled the car to the curb and put it into park. I turned back to him and waited. He pulled a hoodie from the bag, tugging it on. He reached back and pulled out a few knives sliding them into his pockets. A gun went into his waistband. He tossed the empty bag into the back seat.

"Ready for some real fun?" He asked.

"Dazzle me."

He moved forward and kissed me, a quick peck, then got out of the car. I got out, tucking the keys into my pocket. He was near the side of a small bank, I looked at him confused. He smiled and waved me closer to him. I moved to his side.

"What are we doing?" I whispered.

His grin was almost scary. "Everything." he said before he started to move down the side of the building.

I followed close behind. We reached the back and was in a larger alleyway, I could see the backs of several buildings. I stood straight, the sneaking stoop I was using starting to hurt my back. I watched Joker as he looked at the different doors. None had any identifying marks, but he confidently moved to a door and tugged.

It swung open fairly easy and he gestured for me to walk through. I stepped into the dark building. It was loud, the bumping music causing my ears to ache almost instantly. I turned to look for direction. Joker grabbed my hand and pulled me to the right. We walked around a corner and through curtains. The lights were blinding and the music somehow louder.

We glided through the crowd and up a small flight of stairs. He led us into a small enclosed room. Once the door shut, the noise was barely a whisper.

"Why are we here?" I asked.

"you ask too many questions. I have to get ready." he said.

"You did your make up in the car." I was so confused.

He turned and raised an eyebrow at me, "I'm not just a pretty face. I have other things I need before we start the fun."

He said it in a tone that made me feel like I had insulted him. I watched as he felt along the wall until he pressed something that opened into another big office. I followed him inside, waiting for him to turn on the lights. The door closed behind me and we werein complete darkness.

I let out a mortifying squeak when Joker grabbed me. His arms found their way around my waist and his mouth was on mine. I relaxed into the consuming kiss. Letting him dominate my mouth. He finally pulled away and the loss of heat was distracting.

The lights turned on and blinded me once again. I squinted into the room, it was an office, obviously. Joker was digging in what looked like a metal locker of some kind. He must have found what he was looking for, he moved from the locker and had a bag in his hands. I looked up and noticed his face.

The greasepaint he had put on was now smudged. I reached up and wiped across my mouth, my hand was covered in lipstick and his make up.

"Is there a mirror in here?"I asked as I continued to wipe my face.

"In the locker." he didn't even look up from the bag.

I walked over and looked in the small mirror and let out a groan. He had not only smeared my lipstick, but I had his all over as well. I grabbed a rag from the locker. I hated that it didn't look very clean, but there wasn't much else. I cleaned up the mess as best as I could and reached into my pocket for my lipstick.

Once that was fixed, I turned back to him. He was waiting for me now. I tucked the lipstick back into my pocket and smiled.

"You ready?"

He smiled, "The real question is, are you ready?"