Sometimes he dreams about killing Luke. Unlike all those previous dreams, where it has always been his bleeding red crossguard, this time his Uncle is bisected by an azure blade.
When Kylo has finally regained consciousness, half of the Finalizer and - of course - the medical unit, was in the middle of a transfer to the Supremacy. Kira was much more needed somewhere else, like making sure Hux doesn't mess up or that their personal belongings are being carefully moved, but instead she was right there, snoring softly. That unfortunate cowl was covering most of her head and face, with only one lucky curl of dark hair escaping.
He has never seen her so calm, so peaceful. If not for black clothes, he could mistake her for one of Luke's baby Jedi, and not high-ranked Sith. Her eyelids, for once devoid of any paint, fluttered, and shapely nose crinkled adorably for a parsec. Whoever she dreamt about, she was not agreeing with them.
Kylo didn't know why, of all things it was nose scrunch that triggered something in his memory, something exciting, something right on the tip of his tongue... Something painfully and sweetly familiar.
But then Kira woke up and immediately started hovering over him, touching his (Ow!) face, patting his arms and asking questions. So Kylo shrugged off that feeling – he knew Kira for some time already, of course he knew her twitches and tics. When he tried to convince her he could walk on his own, he has already half forgotten his earlier musings.
If he didn't focus and fight her, that kriffing woman would no doubt bridal carry him under Snoke's nose and in front of the entire army! When he idiotically said that out loud, Kira's eyes lightened up dangerously.
It must have been that Solo luck that helped him escape.
Luckily, Han Solo wasn't one of them, otherwise Ben would probably sense him.
Even after he left the medbay, she felt his signature, spreading around, searching for something. If he caught her now... If Snoke caught her...
She couldn't believe she fell asleep while the fleet was on the move and Kylo was vulnerable. It must have been the healing, she reasoned poorly. Kylo would be busy now (for example: with finding something to cover himself) and she could get back to Han.
If the old man wasn't napping, of course.
But no – Han Solo put her to shame, already on his feet, circling the small space he was given, looking quite sober. Her only warning came from the Force and allowed her to react in time and stop Han from poking her eye with some sharp-edged part of a medical droid.
- Now where did this come from? – she asked at the same time Han cried out:
- Who the kriff are you and what do you want?!
Kira really couldn't stop herself.
- You're my guest – she said, deadpan. Han's face was priceless. – I mean it, actually. My name – she revealed a saber clipped to her belt with a dramatic wave of her robes that would put Ben to shame – is Kira Ren – she loved the sound of that name. - And I'm...
- Ben's secret wife? – interrupted Han.
- Kylo's associate – she glared. – Officially, we're working together under the command of the Supreme Leader. But unofficially...
- You're planning a coup and decided for Ben to become some figurehead that you will rule the galaxy through – he guessed, nodding seriously.
Han still wore his clothes that screamed „Smuggler!", she noticed and typed a quick message to Phasma when a quite brilliant idea came to her mind, all that while correcting Han's paranoidal (but perhaps in another life correct) thought.
- No! Will you let me speak? I'm trying to free Ben from Snoke. – she didn't even notice which name she used, but Han did, and looked at her as if he tried to see inside her mind.
- So it's Ben, huh? – he finally broke into a somewhat hesitant, lopsided grin. It made her heart clench unexpectedly. She didn't really spend that much time with Solo Senior, but still she was glad she had a chance to save him, not just for Ben's sake. – Always knew he had it in him... – he murmured.
- Are you related to Rey by any chance? – he asked suddenly, as if he's finally noticed something.
- From a certain point of view... – Kira sighed.
She thought she was in the position of power, but it was Han who kept gently interrogating her and making Kira almost regret her soft-for-Solos heart before one of FN- troopers knocked on the medbay's door and saved her.
She grinned under the cowl and quickly picked up the package they had for her. She placed it in front of suspicious Han and gestured towards it.
- Don't worry. It's just a welcome gift from Phas.
- Captain Conserve? – he said, bewildered, but peeked inside the box before jumping away. – No, no way I'm wearing this thing ever again.
Kira shrugged innocently. – We have to hide you somehow from Ben and Snoke, and who would look twice at the stormtrooper?
Han just couldn't believe it was happening again.
It took some time for them to settle on the Supremacy, choose new clothes, look for officers to terrify, but finally Kylo and Kira were summoned to face their Master.
Entering the throne room before the Supreme Leader had a chance to take his anger out on someone else turned out to be one of Kylo's unfamous not-so-bright ideas. And all of that in front of those assholes from the Praetorian Guard.
(he really really hated them)
- YOU ARE NO VADER! YOU'RE JUST A CHILD IN A MASK...Take it off! – hearing pure disgust in Snoke's voice, Kylo gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Pain helped him balance himself, but not for long: Kira, who stood at their Master's side, had as always something to say:
- But Master, you don't know what you're talking about! I like the mask. It makes him look sexy – she shrugged, eyes glinting with mischief, but a voice perfectly innocent.
Kylo considered screaming like a little girl and throwing his signature helmet away but then he took it off, revealing a horrified expression. Thank Grandvader that he styled his hair to cover his ears completely these days. (Maybe because of that vivid nightmare with Rey the Scavenger making fun of them, or maybe he just liked this new look better. Or both.)
Snoke growled.
- YOU'RE FORGETTING YOU PLACE, DARTH VROUW – oh, Kylo did not like her Sith name at all, especially not yelled by the old man. – Let me handle my apprentice. Make yourself useful and help General Hux... – and now he was not only sending Kira away, but to Hux of all people! Darkness stirred inside Kylo's mind, that sweet part of it that was free from Snoke, that was his own.
Kira said nothing as she bowed shortly before exiting the throne room. Kylo noticed with pride how dramatically her robes flow and how his friend expressed all her fury in the way she walked.
Kylo was such a good teacher!
(Oh, if only Rey would let him...)
Snoke seemed to catch all of his soft – soft? No, Kylo Ren was NOT soft – feelings towards Kira. Those carefully guarded ones. So far he did a pretty good job at pretending before his Master that Sith Lady was just like Hux: annoying obstacle, potential rival. Snoke may have suspected something – he did threaten Kira already to get his hunt for Skywalker in motion again after all, but now, in one moment of weakness, all his hard work was wasted, and he could have stood here naked, that's how he felt. Well, maybe not completely exposed, as his conflict about Rey remained hidden, but Kylo still began to panic.
Despite the obvious storm of feelings raging in his apprentice – or maybe because of that - Supreme Leader seemed pleased.
Ah, there it is, an opportunity to test young Solo once again...
There were just the two of them when Snoke told him:
- You will kill her. When the time is right, of course. We have yet to use lady Kira against the Skywalker, but once it's done... I will become the undoing of Kira Ren. This shall be your final trial, my boy – he added, feeling Kylo's uncertainty. – After her death you will be proved truly dark. UNLESS YOU'LL FAIL WITH HER LIKE YOU HAVE FAILED WITH HAN SOLO!
His father's name was the last straw, and it was as if his voice has joined Kira's in rebellious thoughts swimming around Ben's mind, separating him from Snoke. BenKylo bowed his head again, still kneeling, but with a silent determination building up slowly in him.
(Anakin sniffed, beaming with pride from the afterlife. There was no doubt now, Ben was his favorite. If only they could talk without that old geezer.)
He will kill Snoke.
When the time is right, of course.
In another life, in another time, in a bit different world, the First Order's fleet was chasing the last ships of the Resistance, plotting their destruction and having a great time.
Rey and Chewie were stalking one Luke Skywalker in that world.
Here, however, the Resistance hasn't moved from their sanctuary of Hosnian Prime and the whole First Order could only lick their post-Starkiller wounds and wait for something to finally happen. The transfer was done, the Finalizer has left the Supremacy, Dopheld Mitaka was further from the Rens with each parsec, the troopers were training, Phasma was playing with Millicent, Hux was nearby, furiously working on some kind of tracking...
And the crew of Millenium Falcon was just discovering that Luke wasn't on the Ahch-To alone.
One of his brooding moods was coming.
Not even smashing his helmet against the wall of the turbolift has helped. Anger was building up in him, making Kylo wonder if it was perhaps a good time to check on his newest ship, maybe blow something up...
(Why did Mitaka stay on the Finalizer? Who has let him?!)
And then it was gone and he was left with the same thought that haunted him ever since he woke up after Starkiller.
It's not like he could talk with Kira about THIS!
This... thing... that made him feel like he was losing his mind. How did it come to this? Kylo Ren, heir to Dark Vader, beaten by a mere thought of...
The Girl.
He rolled the comm that he'd stolen from Millenium Falcon on the Starkiller through his fingers.
Will they be able to track unconnected devices with the tower? How did it even work?
He never really cared about technology much – he knew what he had to know to fix a ship. Other than that, no matter if he was Ben or Kylo, he always was more of a... scholar? Ancient scrolls, holocrons, artifacts, books... These were his kind of thing.
Not "hacking communication systems"!
If he thought of that, it would be something Hux could do. But even if they had a common friend (it hurt to call the redhead Kira's friend, but those were the facts) and recently started to actually get along, Hux was still blindly loyal to Snoke. Kylo couldn't possibly trust him, could he?
Kylo sighted and asked himself something, like he did many many times as a child, teenager and then young adult. A question that has always led him to trouble.
What would Han Solo do? / AN: only much, much later i realised this is basically „What would Leia do" trend from tros novel, reversed. I have never been more proud of myself/
He dulled his signature, just in case Supreme Leader checked up on him, and commed Tai.
Thank Grandvader, he responded at the seventh try.
- Yeah?
- I met someone – he dropped his guard immediately after hearing his friend's voice.
Tai didn't even hesitate or ask why Kylo was comming from some illegal device.
- Well yeah, we all have met her, don't you remember, Ben?
Stop calling me that, he thought desperately. It was already bad when it was just in his head!
- No, not Kira!
- Oh. – Tai paused. – Oh! I see the problem now, mate. This is not good. I heard the rumours, this girl...
- What? I'm trying to pour my heart over there, nerf-herder, and you're babbling about some rumors! – Kylo did punch the wall, and it was only a bit painful, but let him compose himself and continue in a much softer voice (or was that because of the subject?) – I met someone. A girl. On Takodana. And, ah...I chased her, she tried to kill me... I might have kidnapped her – Tai gasped. – But only a bit! And then interrogate her – Kylo's voice got much, much more thinner – and she pushed back? And then she was inside me... Wait, what the kriff? Are you laughing? Why are you laughing, Tai? Tai?!
As patiently as he could, Kylo waited for his friend to stop fooling around and answer. Took him a while.
- Just... Ben, you had a girl inside of you? That just sounds so bad, mate, what were you at?
- SHE'S STRONG WITH THE FORCE! SHE THOUGHT OF HAN SOLO AS A FATHER FIGURE. SHE PUSHED BACK INSIDE MY HEAD, PULLED OUT MY DEEPEST FEARS, THROWN IT IN MY FACE, RUN AWAY WITH A TRAITOR, SUMMONED MY GRANDPA'S LIGHTSABER, KICKED MY ASS, AND SHE WAS MAGNIFICENT! – Kylo cried out. He has finally lost it.
Tai must have been stunned, because he got quiet, so Kylo added in a small voice – And she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I suspect an angel, actually.
After he talked with Tai (although his friend was much better at the morality discussions then dating advice) and calmed down just a tiny bit, Kylo was scheduled to have this ugly black thing removed from his face. He was sitting patiently and let the droids do their worst, wondering whether the scar on his face would make him look handsome.
There were those sketches in Kira's journal that he has just remembered.
And then he was once again reminded who gave him that mark...
And the rest was history.
On the Ahch-To, man has abruptly stopped training in front of a small kohort of dubiously chirping porgs. Without any reason, he got a bad feeling about all of that...
She felt it, when the moment she was waiting for had finally happened, but only because she was focused on Kylo's signature in a way Snoke couldn't have been.
For Kira it felt like suddenly, Kylo was behind some thick veil she couldn't get through. Nobody could, except for one person.
And it wasn't her anymore.
.
.
.
Later Kylo asked her, with eyes so big and innocent that she couldn't help but compare Snoke's deadliest soldier to sweet, little porg:
- Kira... have you ever pined after someone so much that you started... hallucinating?
So she ignored any bitterness, hugged Ben briefly, then sat down with him and told him, while keeping things as vague as possible, everything he needed to know about Force bonds.
At least for now.
Sometimes she dreams about the throne. Unlike all those previous dreams, where there has always been only Rey sitting on it, this time she's not alone.