Book of Shadows
Chapter 18 – Long in the bottom
…
"No way."
"Uh huh."
"You've got to be kidding."
"I wish I was."
"But that—that's just…"
"A lot of zeroes."
"Uh huh."
Six zeroes to be precise. Six zeroes, with a 'G' at the end. Yeah, it was a bit.
"Harry, I'm trying, really hard, not to be jealous."
"And I appreciate that."
"But come on! Just—how?"
"Apparently, despite my blowing its head off, and sitting down in the chamber for over two years, there was still a lot of usable material on that basilisk. This was my half."
"HALF! You mean that wasn't all?"
"Half went to the school, the other half went to me since I was the one that killed it. Dumbledore's idea, he said that seemed fair."
"Bloody hell!"
"You've been saying that a lot lately."
"Yeah, well, lotta reasons to stay it lately. So whatcha gonna do with it all?"
His grin turned somber, and for a moment Ron thought he'd said something wrong.
"I've been giving that a lot of thought actually."
"Okay… giving what a lot of thought?"
He gave his friend a wry smile, but before he could find the words to explain his current predicament, "Hey, is that Neville."
Walking with a girl Harry recognized as Susan Bones from Hufflepuff. "Wonder what their up to?"
"Let's go find out," said Ron with mischievous enthusiasm.
Harry shook his head but followed along. Someone had to save Neville.
"NEVILLE!"
"Huh? Oh! Hey Ron, Harry."
"Hey Neville," said Harry, "Susan."
"Neville, mate, c'mere a sec," said Ron, slinging his arm over Neville's shoulder and dragging him off.
"What is he doing?" asked Susan.
"Completely misinterpreting the situation," said Harry shaking his head at his best mate's antics. And, seeing no reason he shouldn't get in on said antics, "Or is he. Tell me Susan, do you have designs on the innocence of our sweet little Neville?"
For a brief moment it looked like she might deny it, then she stopped, a wicked grin curling across her lips, "And what if I do."
They matched looks till it was too much to bear and both of them broke down laughing.
"Lucky boy," Harry said.
"You mean that?"
It was a shy query, ruined by the sultry way she batted her eyelashes when he looked at her.
"Oh sweet Merlin," he exclaimed. "What is with you girls this year. First Lavender gets all flirty and now you."
"I believe they call it puberty."
"I've heard of that," the horror—the HORROR, "don't believe the hype."
The absurdity of that statement left her sputtering which sputtered into incurable giggles.
"Harry, your ridiculous."
"That's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me."
"No! No more! I'm gonna pee," the bouncy Hufflepuff squealed, clutching her sides.
"Do it! Do it!" someone else squealed.
The four of them turned to the squealer, finding a familiar floating specter.
"You!" said Harry with barley restrained malevolence.
The creep looked at Harry as if just seeing him. The lightbulb went on and he shrieked, diving for the wall but Harry was already drawing his wand.
The lightning bolt caught him on the tail as he vanished, bouncing off the wall and out the window. Harry cursed, dropping his wand and shaking his hand furiously.
"Dammit it! Dammit it! Dammit it!" he swore.
"Harry! You alright mate?"
"There is a good reason they don't teach lightning here," Harry said, angrily trying to wring the life back into his hand. "Stupidly hard spells, and they hurt like a… well, you know," he said, minding his tongue when he remembered Susan was there.
"I don't know," she said.
"Well that's fine. Nice girls shouldn't know."
"Awwwww!"
The group, minus Harry, had a laugh at that. Harry was too busy trying to regain sensation in his hand to laugh.
"You think you could teach me that spell?" Susan asked.
"I can show you the book I found…"
"No, no, no; I want you to teach me the spell."
Harry stared at her blankly, "Don't follow."
"You know the spell," he nodded; "So, can you teach it to me?"
He thought about it, "Well, maybe, I don't know. Never tried to teach anyone anything before."
"I bet you'd be good at it," she said.
"Oh really? And that wouldn't just be because you want me to teach you something, would it?"
"Not just," she said with the most guilty innocent pout you've ever seen.
"I don't know," which he didn't. "Really seems more like something Hermione would be good at."
"I have to disagree with you on that," said Ron. "Hermione might know a lot of spells, but I don't think she could teach them to anyone. She'd expect them to be as smart as she is and then get frustrated when they aren't."
"That's a bit harsh," said Neville.
"No, he's right," said Harry. "I love Hermione, but the girl doesn't have much patience when it comes to people," books on the other hand.
"So, will you do it?"
Would he? "I'll think about it."
Refusing to give her more than that, the three boys walked her back to Hufflepuff, which is what Neville had been doing, before heading back to Gryffindor.
"It really is a good idea," said Neville, as they trotted up the steps.
"Hn."
"Not to gang up on ya mate," said Ron, whispering into Harry's ear, "but I know you've been teaching Luna."
Harry looked at his friend like he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "You know that's not a secret."
"Uh, yeah, I knew that."
"What's the problem then?"
"Umbridge."
"Oh, yeah."
"Forgot about her."
Most people had. Her teaching style, if it could even be called that, did not require her to be in the room, and since the poster attack, she'd been walking a razors edge. The invasion had shoved her forcefully over the edge and now she wasn't even trying to hide it. She was just hiding.
She came out of her office for meals and to write directions on the board for what they were supposed to 'study'. It would have been funny if they didn't all understand how dangerous she was. It put no one at ease that she seemed to have gone round the twist.
"Maybe we could ask Dumbledore for permission. She couldn't do anything then."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," said Harry, knowing more then Neville the purpose of Dolore Jane Umbridge.
"Come one Harry, what's the harm in asking?" said Ron.
Could be a lot, Harry thought, but ultimately, could be was not definitely.
"I'll ask," he said, but then thought better. "Actually… that might work to. I'm seeing her tomorrow."
"Seeing who?"
Harry smiled, and Ron did cringe, "Luna."