"It's been a while, Kil" Gitarrackur said, making Killua stop dead in his tracks, confusion written all over his face.
As Illumi took out his needles one by one, Yuko watched Killua's eyes widen with horror at realization who was transforming in front of him. She bit her bottom lip so hard causing it to bleed slightly, this was like hearing nails again chalkboard for Yuko. Seeing Killua so uncomfortable so...unstable, it didn't feel right with her.
Seeing Illumi pull out the final needle in his face, made her realize that he actually looked a lot like Killua, with cat like eyes, pale skin, and a pointy nose. The only real difference was his black long hair...and his eyes, lacking any sort of emotion.
"A-Aniki" Killua stuttered out.
"Hey" He replied simply.
Yuko grabbed on tightly to Kurapika's arm, causing him to look down at her with worry. Yuko wasn't sure what to do or say, if she said anything couldn't that still result in her pain? And if she didn't wouldn't it result in Killua's? She wasn't necessarily sure what would happen between the two brothers and that fear drew her close to something comforting, hence why she was gripping to Kurapika.
"Killua's, older brother?" Leorio said.
"Y-Yea" Yuko stuttered out. Kurapika looked at her in confusion.
"You knew that?"
Yuko nodded without going into further detail, knowing what would happen if she did staring intensely at the scene before them.
"I heard you stabbed Mom, and Milluki." Illumi said.
"Yea, I guess." Killua said with a weary smile, sweat still present.
"Mom, couldn't stop crying."
"Yea who wouldn't cry if there kid did that!" Leorio said with furrowed eyes.
"Tears of joy."
Leorio felt like a weight hit him in the head with that response making him almost fall over in surprise.
"You're kidding, what kind of messed up family did Killua grow up in." Leorio whispered to the two.
"You most likely don't want to know." Yuko said with sadden eyes.
"She was delighted to see that her son had finally grown up. But, she's concerned about you being out here all on your own, and she asked me to check up on you when I got the chance. Lucky me huh?" He paused. "I had absolutely no idea you wanted to be a Hunter. As for me I'm here to get a license for a job that's coming up." He finished. Killua looked down to his feet with a thoughtful yet disturbed face.
"I don't actually want to be a Hunter, I'd just thought it'd be fun." Killua said peering back up carefully at his brother as to see his reaction.
"I see...well that's a relief, in that case I have some advice for you." The Aura around Illumi darkened suddenly, so that everyone not only Nen users could feel it, making it uneasy to watch, especially for Yuko, seeing as Killua's face grew more terrified by the second.
"You're not cut out to be a Hunter, you where born for one purpose, and one purpose only. And that is, to be an assassin."
Yuko stared intently.
'Illumi has probably been doing this to Killua for years now, he's trying to manipulate Killua into thinking he is something he isn't, because if he was an assassin, truly on the inside, I don't think he would've ever taken the Exam, or be curious about making friends. He seems to be a kid trapped inside an assassin.' Yuko thought starting to let go of Kurapika whilst analyzing the situation better.
"You're a puppet of darkness, devoid of passion. There is nothing you desire, nor is there anything you wish for. As one who lives in the shadows, the only pleasure you're capable of is derived from causing death. Because...that's how Dad and I raised you. What do you imagine, that you would accomplish by becoming a Hunter."
Yuko was now backing away from fear, and steadily growing angry. 'I know Killua is apart of an Assassin family, so of course they want him to live up to their expectations, but why...how can you not see that Killua isn't like that. He smiles, and laughs and talks like a normal kid, he may not be a normal kid but really none of us are. Why is he trying so hard to create something from Killua that isn't there, Killua was obviously born normal with feelings and needs, it's cruel to take that away from someone.' Yuko thought taking a step forward with furrowed eyebrows.
"It's true...I don't actually want to become a Hunter...but...everyone wants something, even...me." Killua said clenching his fist to his side.
'That's right Killua' Yuko thought.
"You don't" Illumi said.
"Wrong! I-I do want something!" Killua yelled glaring at Illumi.
"Hmm, enlighten me. What is it that you want." Illumi said lifting a hand up. Killua backed up again looking down to the ground, steadily shaking. His teeth where clenching as well as his hands, when Illumi interrupted Killua train of thought by saying.
"There's really nothing isn't there."
"There is!" Killua defended quickly. He didn't want to lose this verbal fight against Illumi, he was scared but he wouldn't surrender without relieving his brain from his past thoughts, because they meant something to him. He went through his whole life following everything Illumi and his Dad said, and thought he was everything they told him he was. But after meeting Gon and Yuko, he started to realize that they where wrong, he did have wants, he did have needs, and they weren't related to killing at all, in fact it was something way more pure. And he liked it, he found pleasure in it. And he was going to make sure Illumi knew he was wrong about him, as much as he could.
Yuko stared at Killua with determination. 'Say it Killua, whatever it is. Tell him what you want!"
"I want...I want to be friends with...Gon and Yuko. I'm...I'm just so sick of killing people. I want to be friends with Gon and Yuko...and just have fun."
Yuko's eyes widen, she didn't know why it was so surprising to hear those words come out of his mouth. Why her heart was beating out of control, why she wanted to run out there and stand in front of him protectively, why she found her brain doing 360 spins. Yuko unlike both Gon and Killua has a friend, she knew what it felt like to have fun with someone and joke around. But there she was, feeling all mushy as if it was her first time all over again. Yuko growing up with Kho, still realized she never had those caring or sweet nurturing moments, I mean Kho took care of her but it wasn't in a nurturing way, he never spoke his mind about how he felt and he sure as hell never showed much affection. Yuko knew that once she met these 4 boys, that she was a hard lover, and she loved quick as well. It was a curse from Meteor City, people who show any sign of endearment are usually instantly loved by Yuko, mostly because of the lack of it from their who life of living in trash.
But because she loved hard, she also hurt hard. She hadn't known Killua for long, but seeing him like the way he was...made it feel like her heart was ripping.
"Impossible" Illumi let out, after a long silence, causing Killua to clench his teeth and narrow his eyes.
"You, are incapable of friendship, the only thing that you can do is discern whether or not you can kill them. That is all that you where ever taught. Gon and Yuko have such radiant and pure personality's that you aren't sure what to classify them, they intrigue you, because you've never met people so opposing to what you know. You don't really desire their friendship."
"No.." Killua said with widen fearful eyes.
Yuko was fuming.
"Shut the hell up! Don't you dare tell Killua what he is and what he isn't, you aren't him you don't know how he feels, just because he's supposed to be like you doesn't mean he is! Killua is Killua, he smiles, and laughs and jokes around with Gon and I all the time. You guys have been raising him for 12 years, You'd think you'd be able to understand your own brother!" Yuko yelled, causing everyone to turn and look at her with confusion. Killua glanced at her with widen eyes mouth agape. Illumi looked over to her with a blank expression.
"Killua is an amazing person! He's really strong and smart and Gon and I enjoy being around him...tell me, what part of him makes you think he enjoys killing!?" Yuko said pointing an accusing finger at Illumi.
Suddenly the pain from the needle started to act up again, causing Yuko to scream out in pain falling to her knees and grabbing her head. Kurapika instantly went to her side grabbing onto her shoulders.
"Yuko, are you okay?"
She nodded wearily sweat sliding her face, as she looked up to glare at Illumi.
"Y-Yuko..." Killua whispered eyes widen.
"Eyes on me Kil, I'm your opponent, correct?" Illumi said, making Killua snap his head back to Illumi fearfully. "Even if what she says is true, if you stay with them, one day you'll find yourself wanting to kill them, you'll wonder if you can, and you'll want to find out. Because...By nature, you are a murderer."
Killua let out shuddering breaths.
"Not true.." Yuko croaked out trying to stand up with Kurapika's assistance.
"Killua! I don't give a damn if he's your brother or not! Put him down like you do with every other opponent. This guy is a piece of crap! And come on "You want to be friends with Gon and Yuko?" Are you kidding me?! You already are their friends, at least Yuko and Gon think so." Leorio yelled.
Killua flinched, and Illumi turned to Leorio with a slightly confused expression.
"Is that true?" Illumi said.
"Hell yea it's true you idiot!"
"Oh no, that isn't good." Illumi said with a monotone, he placed a hand on his chin thoughtfully. "So they already consider Kil a friend?" Illumi thought out loud.
"Fine. Then I'll just kill them." Illumi said lifting a finger up in conclusion. Killua gasped as well as Leorio. Yuko's eyes widen seeing Illumi slowly approach her with a needle in his hand, Kurapika and Leorio stood in front of her protectively. She swallowed down her spit, sweat sliding down her face, feeling his killing intent from the distance he was. Killua was still standing in the position he was breathing hard and staring to the ground, probably wanting to do something, but not being able to, he couldn't go up against Illumi, he was too scared.
"Oh, what a pain, I have to get my license now so I can do my job, and if I kill them I'll fail, and Kil will pass automatically... Oh no, and the same thing will happen if I kill Yuko and Gon right now too..." He thought out loud hand against his chin once again. He lifted his finger up once again in conclusion. "I'll just kill them after I pass the Exam." He said with sickly optimism.
"Bastard!" Leorio seethed.
Yuko could feel sweat bathing her very existence. 'Is this what he meant by guiding Killua further into his future?" She internally questioned carefully.
Illumi turned over to Netero.
"If I pass the Exam first, I can Kill everyone here, and still keep my license isn't that right?"
"Well...yea according to the rulebook." Netero responded. Illumi turned around to face Killua again, who was staring at him horrified. "Did you hear that Kil? If you really want to save Gon and Yuko, you're going to have to beat me." Illumi began walking towards Killua again, creating a menacing aura around him.
"Will you fight me to save your friends? You can't do it can you? Because deep down, you're more worried about whether you can defeat me then anything else."
Killua gasped shamefully knowing Illumi was spot on.
"And you already know the answer. "I'm not strong enough to beat my big brother." Remember the lesson I drilled into you, never fight an opponent you can't beat." Illumi said bringing his hand closer to Killua's head. Panicked breathing was exiting Killuas mouth as he tried to take a step back.
"Don't move, if you move I'll assume the fight has begun. The same goes for if our bodies touch, the fight starts. There's only one way to stop me, and you know it."
Yuko couldn't stop the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. 'We're losing him, we're losing Killua.' Yuko felt helpless watching her poor friend being mentally tormented. She didn't blame him for not wanting to fight, she knew Gon and her would be ok because if he wanted to kill her sooner he could've used the needle in her head, but she understood that this wasn't some recent fear he has with his brother, this unhealthy relationship. It's clearly been growing over a long period of time and Killua hadn't been around Yuko and Gon long enough to get a truly good understanding of what friendship was to not be afraid of his brother, it was only natural. Still she felt helpless watching Killua surrender under pressure.
"Oh, excellent! Now we don't have to fight!" Illumi said with a smile, Illumi then laughed and patted Killuas shoulder in a joking way. "I lied Killua, I was never going to kill Yuko or Gon, I just wanted to see what you where made of, and I got my answer." Yuko saw Illumi lean over in whisper something in Killuas ear, and noticed Killua's eyes seemed to look just like Illumi's. He looked like a blank sheet of paper. Yuko watched him walk all the way across the tile floor after Illumi had found his spot next to Hisoka, seeing Killua go to a corner of the room and slide down the wall his hands resting on his knees. Kurapika and Leorio did their best to help and talk to Killua but he simply wouldn't respond to the two, Yuko stood against the wall watching them try to talk to him with a distant look on her face.
'What do I do? What should I do? What would Gon do in this situation. I feel so lost right now, I want to help him, but I don't know what could possibly snap him out of it."
-
Leorio and Bodoro had just began their fight, Yuko watching completely uninterested and distracted by a certain white haired assassin who was occupying her mind. As Leorio was about to make the first move, everyone noticed someone standing behind Bodoro including Bodoro himself.
Yukos eyes widen. "Oh no.." She whispered.
It was Killua, his face looking dead and his aura emitting straight up blood lust.
A second later, it was done. Killua had stabbed Bodoro in the back with his hand, before swiftly turned away towards the door without a second thought, obviously killing Bodoro on purpose. It was ironic, seeing Bodoro fall to the floor limply by the hands of said child, he didn't want to fight. It was said yet fitting for the old mans end.
Yuko watched with wide eyes as Killua started for the door, blood splattered on his face. She couldn't stand back and watch anymore, she felt the need to do something, anything to help him. She began running towards him, feet caring her without her initial consent.
When she reached him she stopped running, Killua half way out the door.
"Killua!" She yelled. Killua stopped not turning to look at her. Tears started to run down Yuko's face once again.
'Damn it, I need to stop crying!' She thought, however thinking that caused them to flow down her face even harder, snot barely peeking out of her nose.
"I-...I want you to know...Gon and I...we forgive you...I understand how difficult it must've been to fight someone you're scared of, that just show us that you're human...we don't blame you, and wherever you go...whenever you're in trouble...we'll save you! T-That's a promise...so don't worry about us...you can leave now but...we're coming for you, you got that?" She said, her voice slightly breaking. Her eyes widen hearing Killua chuckle slightly in front of her still not turning around.
"I'll be waiting..." He whispered before closing the door behind him, leaving Yuko to stand there dumbfounded and sad.
Yuko still standing at the door heard behind her people walking out of the room, after the Exam was announced over. They all where headed over to the orientation center where they would receive their license. Yuko clenched her fists out of anger but gasped feeling a presence behind her, making her quickly turn around to look at who the perpetrator was. Her throat went dry, looking up to see Illumi who stared down at her blankly.
Suddenly she felt the needle in her head nudging its way out, she grimaced at the pain but put her hand out to catch it as it fell down. She looked down at it, seeing as it had a tiny bit of her blood on it. She frowned.
Illumis hand picked up the needle from hers, as he took a look at it to see if it was still useable, seeing as it was he placed it back in his pocket, and then looked back down to her face, which was glaring at him. He began walking forward to get through the door to meet with the others, however he turned around slightly giving her a plain look.
"Don't try to steal what is mine." He said before walking out completely.
Yuko glared, he said it making it sound like he was referring to the needle, however he was actually talking about Killua. She looked sadly at the ground with furrowed eyebrows.
'Killua isn't an object...' She thought clenching her fists. Yuko heard some foot prints behind her and saw Kurapika and Leorio, Leorio was right behind her and he put his hand out to pat her shoulder.
"Hey kid..." He began before Yuko ran into him, hugging him tightly to her, which caused him to yelp in surprise.
"W-what are ya doing?!" He asked his arms sprawled out feeling flustered. Yuko rubbed her face into his stomach as she was very short, more tears streaming down her face.
"We- we're going to save Killua okay?" She got out, causing Leorio's eyes to go widen, as he peered behind him to look at Kurapika who had a sad worried expression. Leorio squatted down to reach her height and put his arms around her, for comfort.
"Of course we are."
-sorry if Yuko seems like a crybaby, but Yuko is an emotional character :) Important