Season Fifteen, Episode Fourteen: Wednesday's Child
Olivia Benson hasn't felt right all week. The last couple of weeks, actually. At first she thought it was because of the stress of the recent promotion, and the aftermath of the Lewis trial, but when she missed a period, she knew it was something else entirely.
She makes a mental note to stop at the drug store on her way into work, at least to have the test-to calm her nerves at least a little.
She quickly downs the tea she made before heading into the bedroom to get ready for another day as commanding officer of Special Victims Unit.
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The test that was in her desk drawer was practically burning a hole through the metal, and she knew she couldn't put it off any longer. Three days waiting was long enough.
"Hey, uh, I'm gonna take a quick fifteen, okay? I'll be back." Olivia announces as she stands up from her desk, grabbing the plastic bag and disappearing into the bathroom far away from the squad.
The five-minute wait felt like four hours, and she felt like she might throw up from the anticipation.
While she waited, she couldn't help but imagine what the future could hold. A mini Brian running around their apartment, Brian's ring on her finger. Being called "mommy". Everything she had ever dreamed of could be handed to her in the next five minutes.
Her phone timer going off brings her out of her thoughts, and she swallows hard as she picks up the test.
Negative.
It practically screams at her, and she feels the tear brimming her eyelids.
The Lord really messed with her, didn't He? Got her hopes up, just to take them away. She tries to act surprised, but she's really not.
She grabs her phone and shoots up, adjusting her clothing and washing her hands before buttoning her coat and bursting out of the bathroom.
When she gets outside of the precinct, she dials Brian's number and practically cries when he answers.
"Brian, hey, I've been trying to call you. Is now a good time?"
"Yeah, uh, I've got some time. What's up?"
Olivia sighs and leans against the railing she was standing next to. "I-uh-I took a pregnancy test today. I've just felt so weird the last few days and I was late so I thought…" she swallows hard. "Anyway, it came back negative. I'm not pregnant."
She hears Brian breathe a sigh of relief, and her heart practically shatters. "Well, that's good, I mean we are nowhere near baby ready."
Olivia blinks the tears away and nods rapidly. "Yeah, no, I agree. I just-I don't know-I thought I'd tell you."
"Well, thank you for telling me, babe. Dinner tonight?"
"Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Look I gotta go, okay? I'll talk to you later."
Olivia hangs up her phone and stuffs it in her coat pocket, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, trying to get her head together before heading back into the precinct to continue her work day and get her mind off of everything.
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"Hey babe!" Brian yells when Olivia walks into the apartment, and she sighs deeply.
"Hey," she says flatly as she walks into the kitchen, planting a kiss on Brian's cheek.
"What's up? You okay?"
Olivia pulls out the bottle of wine from the fridge and a glass, pouring it as she sighs. "Just this tough case. Kids. I found an infant, abandoned in a hotel room dresser, bought for sex trafficking. He's the only one that hasn't been claimed either."
Brian shakes his head. "Oh man, that's the worst. Is he gonna be okay?"
Olivia shakes her head and walks around the wall to sit on a stool by the island. "I-I don't know. I hope so. You know? He's just-he's so innocent."
The apartment falls silent aside from the food sizzling on the stove, and Brian picks his head up to look at her.
"Are you sure you're okay? Is it what you told me today?"
Olivia shrugs. "I'm not going to lie to you and say it wasn't devastating to find out I'm not pregnant, but if it's meant to be, it'll happen." Brian nods as he walks around the counter to sit across from her. "As long as everything is okay with us."
Brian nods rapidly. "Yeah, yeah, of course everything's okay." He says before leaning forward and kissing her quickly before pulling her into a hug.
Olivia relaxes into his arms, but she can't help but bite her lip anxiously. She was ready to take the next step, but what is he wasn't? What if he never was?
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