Hello! So… This is it. This is the last chapter of PEACOCK. We cannot express how grateful for everyone who are stuck with this story! Thank you so so much!
But guess what?! We have a bonus chapter next ;D It's a story about Kurt and his family before he met Blaine. That means you are stuck with us for one more chapter! YAY!
Hope to see you soon!
PEACOCK 2 - Chapter 12
Unified
***Blaine's POV***
The feathers from the pillow slowly fell down.
The last one fell at Kurt's feet.
The floor was covered with feathers.
"B-Blaine?" He asked, surprised.
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Who are you seeing right now?"
As I stepped in his room, the feathers were stirred up from the floor.
I sat down on the bed, next to Kurt, who sank down there, keeping his eyes on me.
More feathers flew from the bed.
"What are you gonna do with these feathers?"
There were feathers on his hair too.
I smiled wryly, took one out, put it on my hand and blew it.
"Blaine…"
"Yeah?"
"Is this a dream?"
"What?"
Kurt was looking at me unconvincingly as if he was seeing a ghost.
I lightly sucked his lips and said, "It's not a dream. You have lots of feathers on you."
I kept taking feathers off of his hair and blowing them.
He was still looking at me, dumbfounded. "Are you really Blaine?"
"Again, who are you seeing?" I wiped his tears.
I wiped a few times and pulled him closer to kiss him.
I repeated the kiss and finally he reacted. He shoved me away.
"What the fuck?"
"Answer me if you're alive!"
"What do you mean by 'if I'm alive'?! Don't kill me!"
"Answer my calls… Please…"
Kurt's shaking hand grabbed my arm.
It was more like a seizure.
It was not normal.
Trying to calm his down, I put my hand on his. "I'm so sorry… I didn't imagine you panicked and went on a rampage."
The moment I saw his very sad face, I felt a stinging blow on my left cheek.
The force of the hit made me off balance, I fell off the bed with Kurt falling over me.
"Ow!" I cried out.
The wind pressure we created blew off the feathers again.
I hit the back of my head against the floor and twisted my face with the pain, seeing stars.
I just stayed on the floor and stared at the feathers falling down on us.
The feathers continued to fall down, and Kurt was crying on top of me.
I didn't wanna make him cry.
But he would cry deeply inside and explode.
That kind of accident I experienced wouldn't happen all the time.
However, Kurt would be sent over the edge and hit rock bottom.
Don't cry.
I won't leave you.
Trust me.
Don't cry.
Don't kill me in you.
Don't say 'Don't die.'
Don't say 'You're alive.'
I'm right here, next to you.
No matter what anyone says, I'll stay with you.
So, don't let go of my hand.
Don't take me away from you.
"Kurt…" I held him, who was still shaking and crying. "I'm sorry…" I kissed his hair and his temples, and held him some more.
In response to it, Kurt pressed his cheek against mine.
I was looking up the unfamiliar ceiling, rubbing his crying back as if I was calming and comforting him.
My cheek which he hit was throbbing.
I was feeling the pain of my cheek.
Hang on.
I felt like I got serious hit like this before.
The door of Kurt's room opened above us.
"Are you guys alright… Oh my God, what's this mess?!" Carol, who was worried and came upstairs, screamed as she opened the door, the feathers were again all over the air.
"It's beautiful…" Kurt said casually.
"What happened?! What are you guys doing?!" Carol said confused, looking at us; one of my legs were still on the bed, and we were lying on the floor.
"I didn't do anything!" I said in defense of myself.
"It's me…" Kurt said, making Carol stunned.
… … …
"I'm so sorry…" Kurt apologized sincerely.
When we were led to the living room, Kurt's dad who came home from work was there, sitting down on the couch and looking at me.
When I walked in, Cooper pulled me by my shoulder and introduced me to him. "This is my little brother, Blaine."
"Hello, Blaine. I'm Kurt's father, Burt," he stood up and walked over to me with an unreadable expression, extending his hand.
I shook his big, rough hand.
His hand was thick and strong.
His eyes were sharp, as if he was sizing up me.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel. I'm sorry for not introducing myself sooner."
"Please, call me Burt."
"Thank you."
I tried to smile, but I couldn't. Burt wasn't smiling either.
He definitely doesn't have a good impression of me…
Even though I thought I was smiling, my smile probably looked awkward, searching for the right face expression, just like Burt in front of me.
I ended up simply lifting the edges of my lips, and we sat down at the table.
Kurt sat down next to me and took my arm with a broad smile on his face.
"Doesn't my Blaine look good, does he?" He said to his dad who was sitting across from him.
Burt gave him a bitter smile and answered with slowly blinking his eyes after a while.
"Give me a break," I said, glaring at him sideways, couldn't believe his action.
"Why? But you're the love of my life," he said nonchalantly.
"I mean I like that, but…"
"Then what? You're awesome though?"
You're so innocent, Kurt…
You should notice this sensitive distance between Burt's and my hearts.
I haven't introduced myself to Kurt's parents until now and kept him to myself, his dad must've been annoyed by me.
I tried to tell Kurt those things with my eyes, but he was looking at me questioningly.
"You're acting strange. It's not like you," Kurt said.
"Huh?"
"You talking politely is the weirdest. You're not used to talk like that."
"It's not that I'm not used to talk like this, it's that you aren't used to hear me talking like this!"
"Blaine!" Cooper reproved me over the table, and I closed my mouth.
"It's Okay, Cooper," Kurt said. "Blaine's polite talk is really not like him."
"You…" I growled.
Kurt moved closer and looked up at me. "I'm not trying to be mean, you know? I just want you to act normal in front of my family."
"I thought…" I tried to argue, but Carol backed him up.
"That's right, Blaine. Just be yourself," Carol said, putting a steaming cup before me.
"Right?! You think so too? I knew you would understand, Carol," Kurt put his hands together in front of his chest with a happy smile.
Carol looked at me and Kurt and smiled gently. "Don't think hard. You can consider us as your family."
"See? Your polite talk is creepy," Kurt added.
"Carol didn't say it was creepy at all!" I retorted.
Kurt just laughed, followed by everyone's laughter.
It was more like smile, instead of laughter.
Burt, Carol and Finn all looked deeply relieved, seeing Kurt's laugh.
I was looking at it, feeling strange.
"Blaine, Cooper, are there anything you guys don't like? I took a day off from work and prepared dinner," Carol smiled widely and rolled up her sleeves.
"What?" Kurt's eyes went wide.
"I told Carol and everyone that I was coming," I explained. "I wanted to surprise you, but you surprised me instead."
I just didn't expect that he was panicking and going crazy.
"Because you didn't contact me…" Kurt pouted.
There was no real reason why he couldn't get in touch with me. I smiled wryly. "I said sorry already. Please don't throw it back in my face."
"But it was bad for my heart."
"I know. But I'm right here, next to you now. Cheer up."
"No." Even though he was laughing until short time ago, he was pouting, remembering what happened earlier.
"Then what should I do?"
"Tell me you love me."
"Huh?"
"You can say it, right? If you love me, Blaine?"
"Later."
"Later? Are you sure you're gonna tell me?"
"Yes."
Kurt smiled foolishly and whispered with a blush. "I love you…"
"I know…" I answered.
"I really love you."
"I know that, too."
"Can I kiss you?"
"Of course not!"
I didn't get used to this situation yet to the point where I could flirt with you!
As Kurt didn't give up and tried to kiss me, I pushed his face back.
Finn, who was sitting on a stool across from me, suddenly broke into laughter.
"Hahaha, it reminds me of him doing the same thing to me."
"What?!" I raised my voice.
"Right, Kurt?" Finn asked him.
"It was because… I liked you a lot."
I liked you a lot.
'Liked a lot,' huh?
Don't blush now, Kurt!
"Kurt, you liked Finn that much?" I asked.
"Yeah. It was only him since I had met him for the first time."
It was only him since I met him.
"Oh… Really?" I was shaken a little.
"Kurt was so devoted, but he was also blinded," Finn added.
"What?! It was all because I liked you! And you were enjoying it, too!"
"Hahaha," Finn laughed.
Fuck.
I couldn't laugh well.
See, Kurt noticed my face and looked scared.
"Blaine?"
"What?"
"Are you angry? It's the past. You know that, don't you?"
"I know that."
Kurt looked upset and grabbed my arm.
"Wait, did I do something wrong?" Finn asked, not knowing how I was feeling.
"No way," I answered.
"Good."
It's not good at all!
The story that I didn't know continued.
"Were we like nice years old when we first met?" Finn asked Kurt.
"Well… Wow, has it been about eight years since then? I liked you for the most of that time…" Kurt said, surprisingly.
"Okay…" When I said with a low, flat tone, Kurt budged.
"Even when I had a girlfriend, Kurt tried desperately to step between us. Isn't it funny?" Finn laughed.
"Yeah, it's the funniest. When he likes someone, he's devoted to them," I said, looking at him sideways. He looked down.
I whispered into his ear, trying not to interrupt the conversation between Burt and Cooper in front of us. "I'm not mad, you know?"
"That's a lie… Your eyes aren't smiling. I know it," Kurt whispered back.
"Tell me. I know there's more stories about how much you liked your brother."
"…No."
"It was only Finn, right?"
"It was before I met you…"
"I wanna know everything about you."
Kurt looked scared.
He was also blushed, which meant he got my intensions.
His eyelashes were shaking and it was cute.
"Finn," I called.
"Yeah?"
"I wanna hear the stories you and Kurt later again."
"Yeah, for sure!"
Finn smiled widely, but Kurt looked down.
… … …
"Please help yourself and eat a lot!" Carol said.
The table was full of food and my mouth watered.
Kurt cooked fancy food too, but Carol's was different.
"These look very delicious. Thank you, Carol," Cooper complimented.
"Aw, you're welcome, honey. It's rare that I get compliments from handsome guys like you."
"Blaine and I live far from our parents, so we don't often get to eat our mother's food."
"You guys should eat a lot! Let's eat!" Carol smiled.
"Go ahead and have some, Blaine," Kurt got some food in front of him for me.
"Is there anything you cooked?" I asked.
"No. Why?"
"Nothing."
"Did you wanna eat my food?"
I answered with lifting the edge of my mouth. Kurt grabbed my hand and rubbed it under the table.
The dinner table wasn't quiet like the one when it was only Kurt and I.
When different people cooked the same thing, the food tasted different, too, but Carol's good was also so good.
I noticed that Kurt sometimes looked at both me and his family and smiled happily.
As we enjoyed the conversation, the way I talked to Burt went back to normal. Cooper shot me a sour look, while Burt's face went softer, and I was relieved.
After the dinner, Kurt and Carol went to the kitchen to clean up the dishes.
Burt came close to me and pointed at the living room. "Can we talk for a bit?"
I was startled. Cooper's eyes said 'good luck.' I was worried and wondered what Burt would say, walking after him, looking at his broad back.
To be honest, I didn't get scared of anything, but when it came to talking with my boyfriend's father alone, it was a whole different story and I was a little nervous.
Burt suggested me to sit down on the couch and we did so.
"Honestly, there are many things I wanna say to you," Burt sighed.
"I get it…"
Burt sighed again.
"I assume not all of your memory has come back after the accident, am I correct?" He looked at me straight and I looked down to avert his eyes. "Kurt knows you don't have memories about him, and yet, he wants to stay with you… You're a threat to me in a way."
The word 'threat' stuck in the back of my heart.
"It's not just me, all of my family might consider you as a threat," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"You're Kurt's everything right now, Blaine."
"I know that."
"Are you sure? If you change your mind in the future and leave him…"
"That's impossible."
"That confident worries me."
Burt was calm, and that made me anxious more. He didn't trust me.
"You're both 17 years old. There's no guarantee for your feelings. And when you're young, those feelings are changeable."
"Wait…, I thought I could finally talk to you today, but are you trying to separate us?"
"…Have you heard about Kurt's mother from him?" Burt didn't answer my question and asked me instead.
His mother…
'I' hadn't heard about her.
Even if Kurt told me before the accident, I didn't remember…
"Can I talk about Kurt's story when he was little? This can't be avoided to see if you're ready for him."
When I heard him saying 'ready,' I sensed this was not the story only about the death of Kurt's mother.
But even if this story would be a darkness, my feelings for him wouldn't change.
"Fine. You can talk. I won't leave him."
"Even if Kurt will be someone who brings you to bay?"
"I love him."
Before Burt said something, I continued. "The depth of my love for him is the same as your love for Carol. No, it's more than that. I love him like that. We love each other. Our love isn't a kids' game!"
I raised my voice and came to myself after looking at Burt's surprised face.
I felt like I was rejected by Burt as his son's boyfriend and I was frustrated.
"Blaine, it's not that I don't accept you," Burt said as if he reassured me. "I was happy to see Kurt's genuine smile next to you today."
"Tell me about his mom. I wanna know everything about him," I asked him.
"He lost his mother by an accident when he was eight."
Kurt used to pour everything he had to his dear mother. He lost his rock by a sudden accident. His heart collapsed like vulnerable glass stairs which would break easily when stepped, and he fell in a dark place. Burt said he spent a few months with his son who had no soul, just like an empty vessel. I swallowed hard.
It was my first time to know where his strong dependency came from.
The father and son started to get counselling after they both were tired physically and mentally. A little after that, they met the Hudson's and Kurt returned to his normal self. Burt was really happy to see his son was like his old self when his mother was still there. Then Kurt started to see me and he was rarely home, Burt confessed he sometimes felt lonely.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm genuinely happy that he's in a relationship with someone. I know he lies from time to time, but it's common that children keep some things from their parents," Burt said. "It's sad we don't talk much lately, but it's important to watch the kids leave their parents. Kurt won't be small forever. He had been spending peaceful life since then. I sometimes felt he was having difficult days in his relationship, but I didn't worry too much. But… You had an accident."
I fidgeted.
"What he did after realizing you didn't have any memories about him, it was too shocking. My beloved son tried to kill himself, there was the sea of blood in his room. He was dying while you were alive. Kurt said what he did wasn't your fault, but the truth is, I blamed you."
I was shaking.
Since I lost my memories by the accident, I couldn't say anything about it.
Looking at my drawn face, Burt gave me a bitter smile. "I'm sorry. I'm accusing you."
I shook my head a little.
"So… I felt you're something that makes Kurt do things like that. It means it's up to you whether Kurt lives or dies. That's why I said you're a threat to me. The way he loves someone is extreme."
"I get that," I looked at Burt.
Kurt's various face expressions came to my mind and I smiled without knowing it.
Burt smiled at it. "Are you thinking of him?"
"Huh?"
"No?"
"I mean… Yeah…"
I didn't realize that it was that easy to tell. I felt my cheeks burning.
"You're blushing, Blaine."
"I know."
"You really love him," Burt said, smiling.
His words made me feel warmer and I loosened my tie.
"Blaine."
"Yeah?"
"If I say this, it sounds like I'm selfish for thinking of my kid only, but I'm glad you're alive. Thank you for loving him again even after you forgot about him."
"I…" I smiled wryly. "I appreciate his deep love. It's Kurt who didn't give up on me who forgot about him but kept loving me. I said awful things to him, and he felt hopeless. I can't win against him. And Burt?"
"Yes?"
"You should be ready. Even if you don't like me, Kurt and I will be together for a long time."
"I see," Burt smiled. He nodded a few times as if he was telling himself. "In that case, I'm looking forward to it, Blaine."
"You, too."
We looked at each other and laughed, and then I left the living room after shaking hands firmly and hugging him.
When I closed the door of the room, Carol came. "Blaine, Cooper said something came up and left."
"Really?" I couldn't believe him.
"Yes. You came here with him, didn't you?"
"Yeah. Sorry, but can someone give me a ride home?" Cooper was my ride. If he was not here, I had to ask someone.
"Of course," Carol said, started walking towards the dining room and stopped. "Hey, Blaine. Do you wanna stay here tonight?"
"What?"
"It's your first time to come here. Why don't you stay longer?" Carol suggested.
"You mean staying in Kurt's room?" I joked, but Carol surprised me with her response.
"You guys will fall asleep while you talk. Boys can sleep anywhere, so it's alright!" Carol laughed.
"It's not 'okay.' Do you realize what that means?" I sighed.
"Oh? Is the bed too small?"
"It's not that…"
"What's going on here?" Burt asked, coming out of the living room.
"Cooper left and Blaine doesn't have a ride home. So I suggested him to stay here tonight. He must be tired and we all don't wanna go outside now," Carol explained.
"She's right. You can use our guest room. I gotta get up early tomorrow, so I'm off to bed now. You should relax," Burt said.
"But I put stuff there, there's no space for a guest," Carol told him.
"What?" Burt changed his face expression. "I can drive him home then…"
"You gotta get up early tomorrow, you need to sleep," Carol said.
"Carol, I'll ask Kurt for a ride. It's okay," I reassured her.
"If he goes and come back, it'll be past his curfew. So, no. You can stay in his room tonight," Carol declared.
Burt's eyes went wide. I thought it was the normal reaction to this.
"Kurt's waiting for you. You should go upstairs now, Blaine," Carol smiled.
I gave up arguing with her.
… … …
I knocked on the Kurt's bedroom door.
Kurt opened it, poking his head. The light from inside escaped to the hall way.
"Oh, you cleaned the feathers. That's even better," Carol said.
"What do you mean?" Kurt puzzled.
"Kurt, Blaine will spend the night tonight. Let him use the half of your bed."
Carol pushed my back into his room. I sighed and sat down on the bed.
"Please give him a ride home on your way to school tomorrow. Cooper went home."
"Oh, okay…" Kurt said.
"Also…" Carol moved her eyes to mine. "I'm going to bed too, but don't party too hard and disturb our sleep, okay?"
"Party? We don't do that, hahaha," I laughed.
"I mean, don't enjoy too much, you know," Carol spoke in a monotonous voice.
While I looked vacant, Kurt got the meaning and his ears were red.
We said goodnight to Carol, and Kurt closed the door.
"Well, I'll drive you home tomorrow," he turned to see me and smiled a little. "The bed might be too small for two of us."
"Thanks."
Kurt sat next to me, snuggling up. "You and Dad were talking for a while. Was it about me?"
"Something like that," I answered.
"Did he say anything?"
"Kind of."
"Blaine, he blamed you, didn't he?" Kurt stared at me with worried eyes."
"He didn't. Don't look at me like that." I pulled his shoulder and kissed on his slightly open lips.
"You're trying to change the subject."
"I'm not. I just wanted to kiss you."
"I guess Dad wanted to talk with you because…"
"It's fine!" I said loudly. We both put our index fingers on our lips.
"I knew it… He said something to you."
"Look. He has a right to say things to me."
"Don't hate him," Kurt said.
"I won't. I appreciate what he said."
"But I hate it you're hurt when you don't have to!"
It was Kurt's turn to be upset. I pulled him into my arms to calm him down.
I rested my chin on his shoulder and rubbed his back. "It's okay."
Kurt buried his face into my neck and held me tightly.
"If your dad and I can't say anything we want to say, it's not good for us in the future. That's why I appreciate his attitude," I told him.
"He says harsh things, too. He doesn't talk much, but he tells you straight."
I lifted my head to see Kurt.
I kissed him gently and rubbed his cheek with my finger. "Don't worry too much. It'll be fine."
"You have a mentally weak spot. That's why I'm worried."
"Shut up," I put our foreheads together and took his hands.
Remembering what Burt and I talked about earlier, my love towards Kurt was flooding.
My heart was getting warmer, and I kissed his fingers. "I'm looking forward to a long, lasting relationship with you."
"Why did you say that now?" He looked surprised my sudden gentleman-like attitude. It was funny.
"I'll take good care of you."
"Oookay… Thank you…" Kurt blushed.
I pulled out a paper bag which I was hiding.
"What's this?" He asked.
"It's a present."
Kurt only wondered and not touched it, so I took out the thing inside of the bag instead.
Unwrapping a small box in my hand and showed him.
"Wow," Kurt impressed.
I chose a wide, black leather bangle for him.
I had the inside carved his symbol, a snowflake. It had no decoration outside, but I liked the design and ordered.
"Give me your wrist," I told him.
"Okay…"
Kurt gave me his left wrist. There was an unnatural scar on his white skin.
Burt told me that the wound was deeper than he thought, it told me how serious he was.
Without his memories, I pushed him to the edge, he lost all the hopes for me and tried to escape from everything. The scar was its proof.
I didn't say anything, I rubbed the scare over and over, and put the bangle around it.
"It's nice. The design is simple, and the leather is so soft that it doesn't feel too tight," Kurt said.
"Just so you know, I didn't choose this to hide this," I pointed out.
"I know. Thank you."
As I finished wrapping the bangle around his wrist, it did look like it was for hiding the scar.
Kurt was smiling, holding his wrist up. "Does this look good on me?"
"I thought so, that's why I chose this."
"Thank you. I'm so happy," he rubbed the bangle, looking at it sweetly. "Thank you, Blaine."
He repeatedly said thank you and it was so cute.
"Anyway, Blaine," Kurt said. "Can you stand in front of me?"
I looked puzzled.
"Why?"
"Just do it."
I did as he asked. Kurt put his elbow on his knee, cupped the cheek with his hand and looked at my whole body. His innocent smile and his pigeon-toed legs were adorable.
"I've never seen this suit before. Is it custom-made for today?" He asked.
"I didn't mean it, but Cooper said I should at least look nice outside."
"Look, Blaine. Your mouth is the source of all the trouble. You should at least look nice outside."
"What do you mean by 'at least look nice outside?' Fuck you."
"A first impression is important, especially for your Kurt's dad."
When Cooper said 'your Kurt,' I was totally up for it.
Cooper already made a move before we hit every store.
"The suit should be Louis Vuitton. I already ordered a custom-made one for you! Look at the detail in the design, isn't it wonderful? I ordered one for me too. What do you think of this?"
"Don't forget a pocket square. You're my brother and you look nice. This is mine, by the way. Simple is the best."
"Your tie will be this thin design one. Mine will be this, not too fancy. Do you like this, Blaine?
"You should change the frame of your glasses. How about these ones? It looks intelligent. I'll get a pair of sunglasses…"
"You should trim your hair. I booked a hair salon for us."
"Hahahahaha!" As I told Kurt today's stories of Cooper and I, he laughed, kicking his legs.
"I bet Cooper wanted to do things, so he used me as a reason," I said.
"Cooper looked handsome today." Kurt noticed I glared at him. "Are you jealous, Blaine?"
"Whatever."
"With your tidy hair and you wearing a different frame of glasses, your impression is different," Kurt said, but I gave him a doubtful look. "Why do you look at me like that? You look really nice, Blaine. Can't you tell my heart is beating fast?" He pulled my tie and we fell over on the bed.
… … …
We kissed roughly, making wet noises intentionally and feeling up each other's bodies.
"Blaine…" Kurt breathed a sweet sigh, holding onto me.
Fuck, this was not good…
I pulled back from Kurt and lifted my head.
Kurt looked ecstatic, his lips were wet, red and sultry.
He pulled my tie again. "Why did you stop? Let's do it… No?"
"Wait. It's not a good time."
"Why? I want you… Come on, Blaine."
Stop looking at me with those sweet eyes!
"Carol just told us not to enjoy too much. You're so loud, so it's not good," I told him.
"Then I'll be quiet."
"You can't."
"Seriously, I can do it. Please touch me."
Kurt grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest. I could feel his heart beating fast, knowing he was excited.
I moved the tip of the finger and it found his nipple under his clothes.
Kurt moaned a little, closing his eyes. I kissed him quickly before pulling away.
"Please don't stop," Kurt said.
"It's okay. Get up," I pulled his arm to make him sit up.
"It was just starting to get hot. You're too serious," he was pouting.
"You should have a sense of crisis more."
"Carol knew we were gonna have sex anyways and still allowed you to stay here, didn't she?" Kurt said. "She told us not to disturb their sleep earlier. That means we can enjoy as long as we're quiet, don't you think?"
"You moaned when I touched your nipple only a little bit. That's impossible for you to be quiet," I dismissed his suggestion and he pouted again. "I'll play with you a little later."
When I caressed his jaw with my fingers, he closed eyes and smiled.
He was too cute… Why his face was so cute!
I controlled my desire to push him back on the bed and make him cry as much as he wanted. But Kurt wouldn't know that.
I looked at him sideways.
He crooked his neck, which was so adorable…
Fuck, it was my turn to get horny!
I needed to talk something to calm myself down.
"Uh… The reason why you couldn't get a hold of me today…" I started talking.
"Yeah! Tell me all about it!" Luckily, Kurt took a strong interest in it. I felt relieved.
"There was no big reason actually. My phone battery was dead."
Kurt froze completely.
"Kurt?"
"That's it?"
"Yeah…" That was literally it, and yet that made him crazy like that. I felt guilty. "I'm sorry. I tried to contact you after that, but if I talked to you, I thought I would've told you I was coming to see you today, but I wanted it to be a surprise."
I thought I deserved a punch, I got ready for it. But tears welled up in Kurt's eyes and fell down his cheek.
I kissed his cheek right away and kissed on his lips, too.
"No, it's okay… I just… I'm relieved…" he clung to me.
"I feel bad that there wasn't a big reason."
"I'm happy that there wasn't a big reason, silly!" He hugged me again.
I wrapped my arms around his body and slowly rubbed his back.
I loved him from the bottom of my heart.
"Hey…" I couldn't continue the words.
Kurt wondered and looked up at me. "What's wrong?"
"You hit me earlier, right?"
"I'm sorry."
"No. I mean, I felt déjà vu."
"Déjà vu?"
"I'm not sure, but I felt like it wasn't my first time to get hit by you like that."
Kurt put his lightly clenched hand under his mouth and thought. That look was so cute that I smiled softly.
"I hit you in the park the other day," Kurt said.
"No, it wasn't like that one. I don't know how to explain…" I scratched my head and tried to remember the feeling. I tried to grab it, but I couldn't. I got frustrated and clicked my tongue. "It was like all the feelings you had at that time hit me…"
I didn't know why I felt déjà vu back then.
But that déjà vu remembered my memory.
I pulled Kurt closer again and rubbed his back.
"You think you were hit like that before…?"
I felt his warm breathing. I looked down to see him crying. "Does it ring a bell? Why are you crying?" There was no use wiping his tears, they wouldn't stop.
He whispered something, but I couldn't hear it, his teary voice didn't help either.
Kurt's eyes were looking at me. Every time he blinked, big tears fell down.
His lips were shaking, desperately trying to tell me something. He opened his mouth but closed.
As he keeps crying, his tears dropped on my suit, making patterns.
"Kurt?"
"That night, when we first met…" He talked. "I hit you… so hard…"
"Really?"
"I wonder if you're talking about it…"
To be honest, I didn't know that was it.
My brain couldn't remember.
But I guessed my body remembered its memory.
The dim déjà vu confirmed that.
My memories didn't come back.
But my body reacted to the same pain and it connected to the memory.
"I'm not sure… But that's probably it," I said to him.
"Even if it's only a feeling, I'm so happy…" Kurt was crying like a baby.
"You're crying too much."
"But that was the memory when we first met."
"You can't say it was a memory. I just felt so by the pain."
Kurt dived me to the bed and hugged me so tightly. "I don't care… You and I at that time are reconnected…" He tightened the hug even more and cried.
It was more like a feeling than a memory, but he was happy and crying.
I wished my memory returned little bit more.
I should stop demanding more until the clog of my memory fell out again by some chance.
Even it was so small, it would spread between our hearts as if it was a ripple in the water.
I love you, Kurt.
"What's the matter?" I asked him, who lifted his torso with his elbows on the bed.
"Nothing."
As I ran my fingers across his cheek, he closed his eyes and smiled.
"I love you so much right now." Kurt's long fingers touched my cheek to stroke and one traced the line of my lips. "I love you, Blaine… Thanks for coming here today."
I felt his wet lips on my cheek. I got goose bumps, feeling his sigh. "I didn't know anything about you until I came here."
"Is that right?"
"All I knew was probably your erogenous zone only."
"Hey!"
"I'm dead serious. It's not an exaggeration."
Even he and I are together and no matter how much we're connected, I wouldn't know what's there at the bottom of his heart, the inside of his feelings and the paths he took.
I don't want to hurt him by forcing him to open doors which both I don't want to touch and he doesn't want me to touch.
The fact is that because I hadn't had no room to think of these things, I didn't notice.
I wanna protect him.
I really do.
But I don't know how and I just frustrated.
Burt told me about Kurt's hollow heart which strongly rooted in him.
I thought I knew him.
Then I realized I didn't know him deep inside.
By collecting pieces of him, which other people have, little by little, real Kurt inside of me will be created.
By involving in his family, I can get a new piece of him.
I already have the pieces of his vessel.
All I need is the pieces of its inside.
It might not be complete quickly, it'll take time. But I'll be there with you and will perfect it one day.
… … …
Before we knew it, we fell asleep, while I was still wearing glasses and suit.
Kurt curled up next to me, breathing peacefully.
His hand was lightly clenched by his mouth. I wondered this was his old habit and smiled.
When I put my hand on the bed, I noticed there was something under the blanket.
It was old, faded Snoopy.
I guessed it was used to be a soft pike fabric.
"What, Kurt? Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?"
I grabbed it and realized it was old, but it was softer and fluffier than I expected.
I put it right in front of my nose and sniffed it.
"Wow," I thrusted it under my nose with both hands this time and smelled it.
"Whoa… Kurt's scent is in this stuffed animal… I wanna take this home…"
As I tried to enjoy the scent again, it was suddenly taken away.
"Blaine!"
Fuck, I got busted.
"What the hell are you doing with my Andy?! Were you sniffing him?!" He was upset.
"That thing is great. I wanna take it home and sleep with it," I said, forgetting I secretly laughed about Kurt sleeping with it a short time ago. "Wait. Andy? Did you name your stuffed animal?"
"This is Andy, one of Snoopy's brothers. It's exactly the same as Snoopy, except Andy is fluffier."
"Okay…" I snatched Andy from Kurt and inhaled it.
"Hey!"
"Kurt hold you every day, that's why you smell good, Andy," I talked to the stuffed animal.
"My mom gave this to me. It's old and beat-up, I tried to let it go so many times, but…" Kurt looked sad.
"You don't have to let it go. If you insist, I'll have it though." I rubbed his shoulder.
"Hahaha, no. This belongs here, this house."
"Is that so?"
"Mom gave this to me. Dad will be sad too if it's gone."
I see.
"You're stuck with me in your apartment, Blaine" Kurt lifted Andy and looked up at me.
I checked the clock on the night table and it was 1:03 AM.
I could hear Finn's low snoring from the wall.
We fell silent for a while.
And then our eyes were met again.
I thought I would fuck him right here, right now.
But it was so easy that I dismissed the idea.
"Let's sleep." I kissed him quickly and were going to untie the tie.
"Wait. Let me strip you."
"We don't do it."
"I know that."
Kurt straddled me, the bed made a small noise.
"You like straddling," I commented.
"I'm just sitting here just because it's easy to take your clothes off." Kurt's hand untied my tie and took it off from my neck. "Wow, this tie is Burberry." He rolled the simple black tie and put it on the night table.
"I wanted to wear this Louis Vuitton if only it fits me." He put his hands into my sleeves and slowly slid the jacket down from my shoulder to arms. He put it on the hanger carefully before loosened the belt.
He pulled the shirt out from the pants and unbuttoned one by one, revealing my skin.
Without saying anything, Kurt undid the last button, put his hands into my sleeves again and took it off. "Your shirt is Paul Smith!"
"Oh, that Paul, huh? That jacket you stained it with your saliva. That Paul, right?"
"I took it to the dry cleaners! Don't blame only me"
"Be quiet. It's late."
While Kurt stood up and put the shirt on the hanger, I took off my pants by myself.
"Why did you take them off? I wanted to do it!" Kurt turned around, upset.
"Teasing makes me horny. Here, put this on the hanger too, please?" I passed the pants to him, who looked unhappy.
I took off the shoes and socks too, leaving them around and slipped into bed.
"Wait! Don't fall asleep yet."
I turned to the window, my back facing him.
I heard Kurt taking off clothes behind me and felt the bed sinking a little.
Kurt turned off the room light, a small light on the night table was the only source of light.
Kurt moved closer, and I felt his warmth right against my back.
"Can I wrap my legs around yours?" Kurt asked, pressing his lips on my shoulder. It was ticklish.
"Sure."
"All of your body is warm…" He wrapped his arms around my torso too, there was no room between us now. "I love your scent…" He rested his cheek on my back. "Blaine…"
"Go to sleep."
"Really?"
"Just sleep. You have school tomorrow."
"…I love you."
"I love you, too."
"You don't say such things, keeping your back to me."
I ignored him.
"You're so mean."
"Fine. Shut up," I rolled over to face him. He looked so serious.
"Can I kiss you then?" He asked.
"Small one."
"Kiss me."
"I thought you wanna kiss me."
"I want you to kiss me."
It was only a few inches until our lips were met.
Feeling his warmth, I slowly closed the gap between us, making shadows on each other's faces.
When I left his lips, a small lip sound was created.
"No… Touch me more," Kurt hesitated to extend his arms around my back. "It's not enough, Blaine…"
I kissed his temple.
"Close your eyes, think nothing and go sleep," I said, hugging his body, which was leaning on mine.
"Okay…" Kurt said sadly and put his head on my arm.
He said it wasn't easy to fall asleep in his own room, on his own bed, and had nightmare.
I wanted to make him feel secure and sleep by just being right next to him rather than making love to make him forget his worries.
I would free you from a spell of loneliness in this room.
So, close your eyes.
"I'll hold your hand," I said.
"Okay…"
Kurt's hand touched mine and I took it in my hand gently.
He put his head on my arm. His eyelids closed, making shadows of the eyelashes under his eyes.
I could smell the sweet scent of his skin.
I kissed his warm forehead and pulled his shoulder closer.
"You wanna do it, don't you?" I asked.
"I do. Apparently, you feel otherwise."
"Are you kidding me?"
"I'm still horny, Blaine…"
"I have a boner too."
"Are we gonna do it?"
"No."
"Why, Blaine? Because I'm too loud? You said you would play with me a little," Kurt wouldn't give up.
"I did. But I won't today," I said firmly.
"Is it because Dad is here?"
"Even if he's here, I would do if I want to. I can cover your mouth and fuck you."
"Don't say that if you don't do it."
"We can do it some other time."
"Then, why can't we do it today?"
"Because I wanna remove your fear even a little bit," I told him. "So then you can sleep in your bed peacefully, and you don't have nightmare anymore. I wanna help you to be comfortable sleeping in this bed tonight."
Suddenly, Kurt sat up. He looked scared and he was shaking. "Why- Why do you know about it?"
"You said it when you were drunk the other day."
He weakly dropped his head. "I had no idea I talked about these things… I didn't want you to know…"
He covered his face with his hands, shaking his shoulders. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, kissed on his hair and tightened the arms.
"Are you scared of revealing real you to me?" I asked.
He nodded, my heart ached a little.
"You're silly," I held him even tighter. "You don't need to hide it from me."
"Blaine…"
"There are so many things I wouldn't know unless you tell me. If I can read your mind, that's an ideal, but it's not easy."
"I guess…"
"Especially when it's related to me, I wanna know even more."
"Will you reveal true you to me, Blaine?"
"I already did. It's me in the back of my head."
"Does he still come out?"
"I don't think so… I guess he and me are slowly becoming together. It's like melting together."
"If it's true, we saw it today."
"I hope we melt more, but I won't get greedy so much. I don't wanna get obsessed with it."
Kurt leaned back against my cheek. "I love you." He placed his hand over mine. "I love you, Blaine…"
"Say it more."
"I love you… I really love you…. Words are not enough. Please, Blaine. I wanna tell you how I really feel about you. Please. Blaine…"
He couldn't make words to express his feelings.
He demanded my feelings and wouldn't share them with anyone else.
There was an easy way to tell these feelings. It wasn't an impulse.
Kurt begged for it.
He just wanted to tell me though the words wouldn't do it.
We both held our breath.
Our shadows were overlapped, our heats were mixed.
Deep sighs were spilled out from our mouths.
We were wet, melted and became one.
I love you.
I love you.
And we fell asleep, feeling each other's warmth.
What I had in my mind before I let go of my consciousness was only one person.
… … …
"…Blaine."
Someone was calling me.
I lifted my heavy eyes to see the unfamiliar ceiling.
"Kurt, wake up."
I realized that voice. It was Carol. I jumped and sat up on the bed.
"Blaine, you slept naked? Kurt is wearing pajamas though," she said.
"Blaine said he didn't need them," Kurt woke up and yawned.
"It's a little cold today. Use Kurt's sweater. Burt already left for work, but we can have breakfast together," Carol said, calling for Finn and left the room.
Kurt sighed after the door was completely closed. "Do you think she didn't notice?"
I answered him with a smile.
"Blaine, you came faster than usual last night."
"You came right away though."
"S-Shut up!"
We both came real fast last night.
Every part we touched was so hot that we couldn't tell or receive our feelings well.
The act we exclusively possessed each other made me almost cry.
"Can you see my hickeys?" Kurt asked.
"I didn't put any on your neck, but there are some under your pajamas."
"These are bite marks rather than hickeys… It hurt."
"You came when I bit you."
Kurt blushed. I looked at his profile and smiled. It was fun.
"Hey," He leaned on me. "I didn't had nightmare."
"Good," I put my arm around his shoulder and kissed his hair.
"I don't think it's too early to say that I'll be okay now."
"Probably it's not that easy."
"Yeah. So, can you stay the night again sometime?"
"Of course. Let's think this is the first step."
"Okay."
I held out my hand and he laced his fingers through mine. "Gosh, I don't wanna go to school. Wanna stay here with you."
"You can't do that."
"Darn it."
"I'll wait for you. Come to my place after school, okay?"
"Kiss me then…"
"Straddle me."
He did so and we kissed.
The door suddenly opened. It was Finn. "Hey, guys. Let's go downstairs…"
When we released our lips, an obscene, wet noise echoed in the room. Finn froze.
"Um… Are you guys gonna do it from now or…?" He asked.
"Of course not. It's just a kiss," I said.
"But Kurt is on you…"
"It's just a kiss though?" Kurt said.
"You knead a butt while you kiss?" Finn gave us a skeptical look.
"Good eye," I was impressed.
"Anyways, come downstairs. Um, sorry to interrupt," Finn turned around.
"Hey, Finn! If you touch Kurt, I'll kick your fucking ass!" I said to his back.
"Blaine!"
"I assure you that I won't!" Finn closed the door and left.
"That's right," I said to the closed door.
"You should watch your mouth."
"Shut up. I've wanted to tell him that since last night! He enjoyed making me jealous."
"Blaine…"
I silenced him with a kiss.
I kissed him hard, using my tongue.
When we finally separated, the saliva connected our mouths.
"I can't believe you kissed me like that now…" Kurt complained.
"It's your fault. You tried to protect Finn."
"You're mean…"
I pulled his pants and looked inside. "I guess we got one minute?"
"If you licked just the tip of my cock, I'll come."
Not knowing if it was true, I showed him my tongue.
… … …
"Bye, Blaine. I'm off to school," Kurt said.
"Yeah. Thanks for the ride."
Kurt dropped me off in front of my apartment. As people were walking by, I couldn't kiss him but traced his lips with my finger.
He left after waving at me. He was wearing the bungle I gave him last night on his wrist.
I saw off the back of his car and entered the building.
I was going to finally go back to Dalton from next week.
It's been a month since the accident.
Kurt and I spent an incredibly quality time and our once separated hearts got back together again.
We found hope through lots of tears and despair and we stepped forward together.
Hoping a light would shine our feet, I set a goal.
Three days later.
I got ready in the early morning and left home.
Kurt usually came to my place, but today, I secretly went to his house to pick him up.
I wonder what he would think when he saw me with flowers, not being typical for me.
Having mixed feelings of embarrassment and anticipation, I rushed to his house.
I rang the bell and waited for him.
My fingers were shaking a little, being nervous. I snorted.
Footsteps were getting closer.
I hid my face with the big flower bouquet.
The door was opened.
"Hey, Blaine. Wait, was it my house today?" Kurt surprised.
"No. I came to pick you up."
"Gorgeous flowers."
"You didn't expect me to bring them, did you? This was a real surprise."
"Blaine…"
"I'll wait here. Go get ready."
"It's been two weeks today."
He was afraid of the idea of this 'one week.'
That was why it meant a lot for us to pass that mark.
We waived at Burt and Carol who were waiving at us before we got in the car.
"Blaine, what will you do next week?"
"Are you kidding me? Nothing."
"Darn it!"
I wish there's a future where we can walk closely side by side.
PEACOCK END