AN: Circa 2004, after Eve's secret came out. Literally just spit this one out so excuse any errors, also half way done with another chapter of HEA, once I'm finishing moving then I'll have a chance to update.

Title: My dearest Whitney/Dear Mom

My dearest Whitney,

The day I was dreading since I fell in love with your father has finally come. You and everyone else finally know the truth about me. Eve Russell is not the perfect mother, the perfect wife or the perfect doctor. Eve Russell is a woman whose made more mistakes than most and has spent her entire life trying to atone for them. No matter how much you may hate me right now, I love you. Please believe that Whitney. Once I lost my child with Julian, I realized that I had a purpose beyond my own selfish desires. I quit drugs, drinking, Julian and struggled to put myself through medical school finding my life's passions.

Just when things seemed as though they couldn't get any better, I met the man of my dreams, your father. I always felt I didn't deserve the love he gave me, I'd never been loved that way before. And the truth is I was afraid, afraid that if your father found out the truth he would take his love away and I'd be right back where I'd started. It seems that I was right. I don't blame your father or you or Simone for being angry with me, hating me even. None of you can hate me more than I've hated myself.

I thought that over the years I'd mentally prepared for the day I would lose everything, but I was wrong. Nothing could have prepared me for this pain I feel, this loneliness, this emptiness. Losing the respect of my friends, colleages and especially my family has been more than I can take. I know that somewhere deep in your heart you still care for me and that gives me comfort. I know that you'll step up and be the mother figure that Simone will need as well as being a comfort to your father. Despite my many failings I am proud that I raised you so well.

You are in my heart always.

Love Mom

Eve Russell struggled to keep the tear stains off her letter as she signed it and addressed it to her oldest daughter. Putting on her coat and hat she exited the B & B for last time, thinking of Grace Bennett yet another person she'd betrayed. Climbing into her vehicle the doctor checked her cell phone, as usual there were no messages. As she headed down an isolated rode, Eve's life flashed before her eyes.

The first time she sang in a club.

Meeting Julian Crane.

Discovering she was pregnant and Julian's reaction.

Losing her son.

Meeting TC Russell.

Finishing medical school.

Getting married.

Giving Birth to Whitney and Simone.

The looks on their faces when they found out the truth.

Eve sobbed as pressed harder on the gas. She would just snatch the wheel and it would all be over. No more pain. Suddenly her cell phone buzzed, startled Eve took her foot off the gas and reached for her phone.

"W-Whitney?"

"Mom? Mom where are you?", Whitney cried into the phone. "I'm at the B&B and I found your letter. What are you thinking?!"

Eve said nothing as she pulled over on the side of the isolated road.

"Mom where are you?"

...

What seemed like minutes later Whitney was pounding on the window of her mothers' car. Eve unlocked the door and Whitney climbed into the car embracing her mother for the first time in months.

"I'm sorry honey I didn't mean to scare you, I-I just-

"No matter what I've said over the past few months I don't want to live without you! None of us do I guess I didn't realize that until I read your letter."

"I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused.", Eve said pulling away from her daughter and wiping her tears. "I don't know what I was thinking"

"Maybe that you're tired of being told what a terrible person you are, tired of being pushed away, slapped even," Whitney said, ashamed of her actions. "I'm sorry Mom. I'm not ready to forgive you but I'm not willing to lose you forever either. We'll find a way to fix things together."

Feeling hopeful for the first time in months Eve hugged her daughter again.

Dear Mom,

The therapist said writing letters would be therapeutic, a good way to get my feelings out. All it's done so far is remind me of the letter you wrote to me almost a year ago. I never told anyone except the therapist and I can't say enough how grateful I am that that night didn't end the way you wanted it to. I love you Mom. Over the past year I've realized that our family life was not as happy as I thought it was. AS much as I love Daddy, he always had extremely high expectations for us. I know the pressures I felt to be a successfully tennis player so I can't imagine how it was for you to be the perfect wife all while hiding such a huge secret. I know it's painfully for you that Daddy won't forgive you and that he's married to Liz. But one day she'll understand what happens when you don't meet his expectations. The holidays are coming up and I hope to see you all. I know we don't spend as much time together as you and Simone but with you being in Castleton and Chad and I in New York it's difficult. I promise to make an effort to visit Harmony and Castleton more especially since you will be a grandmother soon! Surprise! I hope to see you to share the news before this letter arrives, I'm just sending it for the sake of my therapist.

You are always in my heart

Whitney.

AN: I hated the way the Russells' turned on Eve once her secret past came out and I also hate that Liz wasn't exposed for the wretch she really was early on. 😊