Team Disaster: Origins Of Infamy
Summary: From the day they met to the day they made history, snippets in the lives of Konoha's infamous Team Disaster, their nearest and dearest and the devastation and chaos they cause.
Temper, Temper
Honestly, Minato was not home even two days after his very, very long mission with Kushina when they both felt the startling, almost suffocating spikes in two familiar chakra that had the Namikaze quickly appearing in the Senju compound, expecting to have to clean up some dead bodies, only to find himself in a rather peculiar situation he rather hated and really didn't want to deal with.
For one, Mito-chan had went to visit her relatives back in Uzushiogakure after she heard she got a step-sibling. (She had been terrifying when she first learned of it and had taken out her rage on her sparring partners because her father hadn't told her his new wife was pregnant for no other reason than because 'they didn't like each other'. Never mind that whatever child was born from that woman would still share blood with Mito-chan and would be family. Never mind that Mito-chan was still Ashina-sama's daughter and deserved to know. Ashina-sama was probably pissing his pants off since Ryukyu-sama had refused to let anyone else escort the Uzumaki kunoichi to her home country. Ryukyu-sama was terrifying.) She wasn't going to be back for at least two months.
Second, Madara-kun was helping Tajima-sama with Izuna-kun to run the Military Police Force this week and was as such unavailable for missions or pretty much anything else that wasn't life and death while also standing in as the default cook and mother hen in their family since Ryukyu-sama was absent, which included sorting out his siblings and taking up some of Ryukyu-sama's responsibilities until she comes back. He'll probably come back to training by next week, at which point Minato will have to actually hold said training sessions, but until then, Madara-kun was practically absent from the village.
And three, perhaps his least favorite part of all with this situation, Itama-kun had gotten hurt on a genin D-rank mission recently and the tensions in the main Senju household were high and thick enough to drown people or to be cut with a kunai. Especially around Tobirama-kun and Hashirama-kun, though what could have possibly set them off like this and at each other was beyond the blond jonin. All he knew was that he should probably ask Tsunade-sama for a raise.
The situation before him wasn't one you'd see often around brothers as close as any of the Uchiha or the Senju from the main house. The Uchiha as a whole, while temperamental, never bottled their problems up or let them stew to the point they might feel the need to gauge each other's eyes out while the Senju had a tendency to do just that. In this, the Uchiha had a much healthier coping mechanism and that was coming from a guy who had been warned about peculiar Uchiha behaviors, especially in the face of overwhelming loss, before he got one on his genin team. As far as he knew, Madara-kun and Izuna-kun resolved any arguments between them in spars or prank wars or Madara-kun simply throwing his younger brother into their koi pond or any other body of water nearby.
Tobirama-kun was, in general, a lot more reserved around pretty much everyone except his family and his teammates, but if he got in an argument with one of them, he bottled it up or simply let it go, depending on the severity of the offense. Fighting with Hashirama-kun was always the worst but he had never seen it at this level.
No wonder he had felt their chakra spikes nearly half a village away. It was practically visible, for heaven's sake! The two boys were livid, standing against each other with severe glares on their young faces, both of them having even gone as far as to activate Sage Mode - when had Tobirama-kun gotten that!? How much had Minato missed while on this long mission!? - which only made their expressions scarier. The floor boards beneath them were cracked and they had sank a bit beneath the weight of their own chakra. Wind was whipping every which way under the force of the collision of those two signatures and even some furniture was overturned.
Butsuma-sama was standing in one corner of the room shielding young Kawarama-kun while Kira-sama and Itama-kun were nowhere in sight, probably at a doctor's appointment about the boy's injury. Minato instantly made his way over to the father, erecting an earth shield in front of them but he could already feel the colliding chakras chipping away at it, making it crumble at a disheartening rate. That at least explained it why the elder man hadn't tried doing this on his own by now despite being proficient in doton.
"What the hell happened, Butsuma-sama?" Minato asked, needing to know what had caused this if he wanted to help. Best if he dealt with it rather than have ANBU come and knock the boys out. Hashirama-kun was a highly respected chuunin and the Senju Heir and Tobirama-kun was a art of his infamous Team Disaster as well as the second heir. It would be bad for their reputation and the reputation of their clan. Especially since they were already considered to be a part of the rather 'troublesome' bunch.
"I don't know! One second, they were talking about something while I was explaining to Kawarama about something relating to his homework and then the next, those two were in each other's faces and their chakra was through the roof! I tried getting them to settle down, but the longer they argued, the harder the chakra started pressing in on us and they didn't even hear me!" The Senju Clan Head had to shout to be heard over all of the noise despite how closely pressed the two adults were. "In the end, I decided to just grab Kawarama and tried to stay out of the way! It only got worse, as you can see! I'm going to strangle those little brats if I have to rebuild the entire house!"
Minato swore inwardly because none of that revealed what could have caused the brothers to start fighting in the first place. Yes, Tobirama-kun could snap and yes, Hashirama-kun wasn't simply a happy go lucky guy despite that being his default mode, but they both still could lose their tempers if the right trigger is stepped on. Whatever had caused them to explode like this needed to be put on the taboo list if the village ever wanted to survive. Repeats of something like this, especially in public, would be catastrophic. "I'll see what I can do!"
With that, the blond erected two more walls in front of the two cowering Senju - though is it truly cowering if it's common sense? - before using Hiraishin to appear right next to Tobirama-kun, trying to get the two brothers' attention politely, calling both of their names before resorting to a commanding, authoritative tone when it became obvious that the two weren't even paying him any heed, which was rude. He was the Yellow Flash, damn it. A couple of prepubescent boys shouldn't ignore him when he demands their attention. Seeing no other option and silently apologizing to the entire village and especially Butsuma-sama and Kawarama-kun for this, Minato let his own chakra spike to the same levels as Tobirama-kun's and Hashirama-kun's, surprised to find it so difficult. Then again, they had some seriously phenomenal chakra resources, especially for kids their age. They haven't even reached their full potential yet!
The addition of his own chakra to the chaos only made things even worse for the already trashed living room but he had no choice in the matter since the Senju brothers had started radiating some serious killing intent that was bound to be felt throughout the whole Senju Compound and probably even beyond. Minato debated adding his own into the mix to hopefully snap at least Tobirama-kun out of it, given his sensory abilities were bound to react to that at least - though he wasn't exactly looking forward to a water dragon the size of the Kyuubi's fist slamming him through the wall, but sacrifices must be made for the good of the village and all that - when someone else seems to have beat him to it.
It was not exactly pleasant.
Waves of overwhelming killing intent rolled throughout the whole of Konoha in waves upon waves as scorching chakra seemed to lash out at anyone stupid enough not to immediately be petrified by it. It sure as hell was enough to make Minato and the two boys freeze up like rabbits almost the exact same second that it registered and their instincts practically had them cowering down in deference to the predator that came prowling into the living room. The tomoe spun in livid, slow circles in the sea of blood red irises that ominously promised death and nightmares to all those who do not bow down before the pissed off Uchiha.
Distantly, Minato thought he heard Butsuma-sama whimper. "Please spare us, Ryukyu-sama! Please forgive us for bothering you!" But that didn't make any sense because Ryukyu-sama was out of the village, escorting Mito-chan to Uzushio so she can meet her new step-sibling. But there was also no one else who could have possibly produced a killing intent that was sure to drown out the sound of a live battlefield, a killing intent so potent that it practically had an entire shinobi village (especially one the size of Konoha) on their knees as they tried to weather through it without outright losing consciousness. Minato still remembered, when he had been younger, how he would nearly fall over nearly every day when the waves would hit, coming from the Uchiha Compound. Back then, during Ryukyu-sama's first pregnancy, no one had known how volatile her temper might be under all of the hormones and easily set it off. The whole village sagged in relief and threw celebrations the day Madara-kun was born-
Minato gulped as the boy in question stormed over to where he and the two eldest Senju brothers were standing, glowing with even more chakra than Hashirama-kun and Tobirama-kun had and their had been a visible dark purple and bright blue respectively. Madara-kun's was a very deep blue, rivaling sapphires in color, which only offset the red of his eyes more. There was a scary grin on his face that made Minato think of Kushina when she lost her temper.
Even Madara-kun's hair was whipping about almost in mimicry of the way Kushina's hair seemed to gain sentience when she was pissed off!
"M-Madara," Hashirama-kun somehow managed to get out despite his voice breaking under the pressure of the Uchiha's killing intent threatening to drown them. "We were just-"
"Do I care?" Minato gulped in tandem with the two boys this time. That tone they all recognized, be it from their mother or his wife but mostly, it was a near perfect match for Ryukyu-sama's 'don't sell me bullshit if you want to live' voice that usually preludes some serious ass whooping.
"Probably not." Minato didn't know if he wanted to strangle or applaud Hashirama-kun for managing to speak at a time like this. The blond seriously regretted his life choices that have ultimately led him to this exact moment in time.
'Have I offended the gods in my past life somehow to deserve this punishment?' He couldn't help but wonder. Surely he had desecrated some sacred temple and now he was sentenced to suffer for it. It sure as hell felt like that. Madara-kun's chakra, usually a pleasant getaway from the rest of the world, a safe haven to rest his sensory abilities against, was now oppressive and threatened to either give him a headache or to tear his head apart. Tobirama-kun must have felt like he was burning up from the inside or that he was being disemboweled.
"Then why am I here, fixing your shit? No, don't answer that, you brainless tree stump. Get up. I just had to sacrifice my lunch break for you nincompoops, which means you owe me inarizushi. My shift ends at six. This means you have four hours to get your shit together, fix this mess and wait for me outside of the police department building. If you don't clean up this mess until then or try to run, I will hunt you down and set you on fire. If I end up having to summon Ryujin (Minato whimpered at that; why hadn't he heard anything about that!? He was their sensei! He should be made aware of the fact that his genin were becoming insanely stronger while he was away on one measly mission!) or use Byakugo to adequately punish you, you may as well save your prayers because no one will hear you. Have I made myself clear?" The three of them nodded frantically, not willing to test the Uchiha's infamous temper, not when he had obviously been denied his lunch break. Madara-kun easily got cranky but now that he had taken on some extra duties until his mother returns, it was more likely to describe him as downright explosive. "Hn."
And with that, the Uchiha whirled around in his heal and stormed out of the house.
"I want to be him when I grow up," Kawarama-kun, sweet, innocent Kawarama-kun, breathed out in an awed whisper as the first sound he made since Minato arrived and it was that which broke the long minute of tense silence.
"Gods above and bellow, did this world truly need the second coming of Uchiha Ryukyu?" Butsuma-sama asked as though in prayer for strength and patience. The blue eyed Namikaze wholeheartedly agreed.
One Uchiha Dragoness was more than enough.
"We should probably start cleaning this whole mess up before Madara-kun makes good on his promise," he suggested when no one said or moved to do anything else, snapping everyone back to attention and surveying the damage. It was not pretty. Did it make him a coward that Minato wanted out of here before Kira-sama might come back home to see the destruction wrought upon her living room?
"What," a voice hissed and he decided that, no, he was not a coward, just an extremely smart individual who wanted to live to see his son grow up. "Happened. Here?" Still, Hatake Kira-sama's anger didn't manage to stand up to Madara-kun's temper. Didn't make it any less scary, though.
"Kira, love of my life, my most precious and respected wife-"
"Butsuma~!" Said man gulped. His sons had been wise enough to stay quiet, though a look at their faces showed that Hashirama-kun was as white as a ghost while Tobirama-kun had an almost reverent expression on his face with a faint blush, if Minato was not mistaken, and his eyes were distant, as though he wasn't even registering his mother's anger. From the way Butsuma-sama's panicked expression turned to despair when he turned to look at his son's for support upon seeing it, Minato had the urge to laugh hysterically at their shared realization.
"Mi-na-to~." The Yellow Flash flinched when Kushina's voice came from just a few steps behind Kira-sama and he knew he was screwed. It had been his turn to cook, after all.
'Sayonara, cruel world. Pure Lands, here we come.'
00000
"Madara's quite stunning when he's angry," Tobirama-kun said hours later, when they were all on their knees and polishing the new wooden floors Hashirama-kun had grown for the living room so it would be spotless and no one would have any need to mete out punishment. The two adults and one other boy sharing the current punishment with him froze, turning incredulous eyes on the white haired Senju that took after his Hatake mother way too much for anyone's comfort.
Butsuma-sama looked like he was done with the world. "He takes after his mother, that one. And it seems that the Uchiha madness has rubbed off on you, too, from how much time you spend at Tajima's place. Only Tajima was mad enough to pursue the Uchiha Dragoness. Why did my son have to pick up such tastes as well?"
"To be fair, Butsuma-sama, you're not all that better yourself." Speaking hurt. Kushina, his beloved wife, the Red Hot Habanero, had done quite a number on his face. Minato was sure fighting A and B during the Third War hadn't hurt this much. Hell, he was sure fighting the Kyuubi wouldn't have hurt this much. "I myself have been wondering at my life choices all day. I think we should make offerings at a shrine. Surely having even a little bit of the gods' favor will improve our life standings."
"It's a curse of shinobi to find deadly people attractive," Butsuma-sama said with a long suffering sigh. Still, Minato was pretty sure he would never trade his wife for anything in the world. Minato himself loved Kushina more than the air in his lungs and the blood in his heart. "Tobirama, you better marry that boy or I am disowning you."
"What?" The little albino deadpanned, probably having spaced out and not having caught much of their conversation, if any of it at all. His earlier comment hadn't exactly sounded like a conversation starter, more like a musing to himself. Minato wished him all the luck in the world with that pursuit.
"At least Mito is a mild-mannered, calm, elegant lady," Hashirama-kun said with what sounded like utter relief. The two adults shared a look at that while Tobirama-kun just snorted, moving away from them to not get involved in the upcoming conversation and wailing to spare his eardrums, polishing another part of the floor on the other side of the room.
"Hashirama-kun, you are aware that most Uzumaki are exactly like Kushina, right? In various degrees, I will admit, but not all that different. And Mito-chan is Kushina's second knee niece. They're rather closely related."
"Not to mention that Mito is being raised by Ryukyu," Butsuma-sama added. "I think I saw your little sweetheart turn a boulder into dust once, when training with Tsunade-sama."
"Oh, Mito and Madara are a lot more alike in temper than you could believe," Tobirama-kun tossed in casually, not even turning around to look at them. Minato could only nod in agreement to that and watch Hashirama-kun pale as realization slowly set in like the cold up in the Land of Snow or Land of Iron.
Butsuma-sama just shook his head, got up to fetch a bottle of sake and continued polishing the floor with them while getting drunk for his sons' sake.
It's not easy to accept that both of your potential future in-laws were raised by the Uchiha Dragoness.
Minato pitied the village.