Chapter 20
Sorry this took a while, After that last episode... Gosh. I just Ug! Anyway, I know i was going to take this to 40 chapters. But I know ending it now is best for the story line. Hope you love it, please leave a review and tell me how ya think and what ya feeling :)
Thank you to everyone for reading xoxo!
TRIGGER WARNING
"Wanheda, Bellamy." Roan shook their hands in greeting.
Clarke and Bellamy left their people back a couple places to speak with Roan's second in command.
"How's it looking?" Bellamy asked, he'd been here only a month ago and they were evenly matched.
"I realized there was a reason for my mothers brutality on the battle field. These monsters only respond with suck violence. We have been trying to eradicate them for years. Maybe with Wanheda's strength we have that chance."
Clarke nodded, feeling the anger in her belly rise. She was ready.
"I want their Heda." Clarke told him.
Roan's eyes softened, "We heard what happened to your people, I told my men, Ketu was to be brought alive. They will deliver him to you for vengeance on those he killed.
"We have the upper ground?" She clarified.
Roan nodded, "My guys managed to sneak up on them at their weakest side. Ketu won't retreat. He will fight until they are all dead. Bastard is so cocky he doesn't expect he'll lose."
"I want to go out there."
"I had a couple of my men hang back this morning. They will take you. I have to head back to the west side, Haiti!"
A strong dirt covered man walked over to them. Roan said something in his language and then left with a couple men following after him.
"With me." Haiti told them.
On the way down Clarke pretended not to see the pools of blood and grass stained red.
Bellamy talk to Haiti on the way. The grounders English wasn't that great so Clarke let them chat, picking up on certain words and phrases.
When they got close enough to hear the fighting, Bellamy reached out to pull Clarke to a stop.
"Far enough." He told her.
Clarke glared at him from the side but didn't argue. Clarke heard the swords flying and saw the bodies that continued to pile up. Her mind took her back to the first war she fought, the one against Anya and Bellamy.
Her peoples bodies littered the grounds just like this, pale and void of life. Clarkes heart clenched as she thought of the kids, memories of them she kept in the deepest parts of her mind.
Turning to Haiti Clarke asked, "Could your men get a message through?"
Haiti grinned, "Word started spreading yesterday of your arrival Wanheda."
"Then it shouldn't be hard to get word to Ketu that Wanheda wants a meeting with him."
Bellamy grabs Clarke's arm and pulls her several feet away. "You listen to me. I have had more patience than any husband would about all this, I don't even want you fucking anywhere near ice nations war. Not that I don't get it, because I do. You are not meeting him, I am not just handing you over."
Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. "How were you expecting this to go Bellamy? You know why I came here, you agreed and now that I'm here I can't follow through?"
Bellamy huffed out his nose, eyes never leaving hers. "You are not Wanheda."
"Maybe I am."
He shook his head forcefully. "No Clarke, you aren't. Ketu is an animal, calling a truce for a meeting, it's not what his kind does."
"Maybe because no one has ever tired."
"What are you expecting to get out of this?"
Clarke held her ground. "I won't know until I talk with him."
Bellamy shook his head, Clarke was so naive. It made him want to scream and slice someones head off. She thought she was untouchable, like nothing could touch her but the pain of death of her loved ones. She felt it but she never was willing to show it.
"He won't agree to a meeting Clarke, all he wants is blood."
"I'm hoping that a chance to get face to face with the commander of death, will be enough to persuade him." She raised her hands to grip his forearms. "Trust me."
.
Ketu's feet hadn't stopped moving. He was taking Clarke in, hunger in his eyes. Not in the way most people did, like they wanted to see the bare skin under the clothes. Ketu could see the power, like his eyes could see though her outer layer.
Bellamy's fist gripped the hilt of his sword, if this fucker took one wrong step he was dead. Ketu came alone, which was unexpected. Bellamy had nearly five people, including himself, on Clarke.
Clarke had tried to get him to hold back, he rolled his eyes and walked away at her suggestion. Why the fuck did she constantly insist on pushing his buttons? She made him so freaking furious all the time.
"I hear you've been looking for me."
Bellamy held his breath, Clarke voice was stone cold as she addressed the man who killed hundreds of her people.
Ketu spat his language hard and fast back at her. Hes acting how Bellamy predicted, Clarke stared at him like she was bored.
"I'm in killing distance and all you've got are insults?" She mocked him.
The man stilled, becoming silent as he looked her up and down. Clarke took a single step forward as Roan barged into the clearing, eyes wild.
Ketu's didn't turn like the rest of them did, eyes staying on his objective.
Behind Roan were the rest of Clarke's guys, when they heard Clarke was meeting with the man who killed their families they needed to tag along.
Roan spit some of his language at his warriors, Clarke watched as they grabbed Ketu and pulled him off. Clarke wanted to yell for them to stop, but she had to keep up appearances.
"Are you mindless, letting him that close to her?"
Bellamy stood tall as Roan talked down to him, like he was a moron.
"This was my plan, not-" Roan turned his eyes on her.
"Oh I know this was you, I'm not dumb enough to think this was his plan. I'm questioning why he'd let that creature in grabbing distance of his wife."
"Let?" Clarke felt her stomach burn, but she had to keep on task. "Where did you take him?"
"Way to be questioned."
Clarke stomped over to him, "That is what I was doing before you had your men hall him away."
"You weren't questioning. You were taunting and getting insulted. That animal is lucky to still have his head, Bellamy's sword should be red with the things he spat at you."
Clarke blinked looking at Bellamy, he was waiting for their next move.
"I'm going to question him." Clarke tried to insist.
Roan shook his head. "My men will take care of him for you, he'll be dead by dawn."
"No!"
"You are the face to the name Wanheda, you are nothing more, not a warrior or a torturer. But a girl who got lucky."
Taking her dagger from her boot, Clarke lunged at Roan. He turned taking her arm and throwing her to the ground. They tussled, Clarke got the upper hand for just a moment, but that is all she got, Roan punned her face first down in the dirt. He laid his body over hers and brought his mouth to her ear.
"Go home sky girl, please your husband. I will slice up the goblin, one slice for each person he's killed."
Roan made a point of running his hand down her side before climbing off. Clarke had slightly been aware of Bellamy's command to Roan to back off, but he hadn't listened.
Climbing to her feet, Clarke felt her body shake. 'Go home? Please her husband?' Is that all Roan and these grounders thought she was good for? With the rage of a hundred flowing threw her, Clarke marched toward where Roan's men had taken Ketu.
Bellamy followed after her, but she moved faster. Shoving Roan hard enough for him to stumble a step, Clarke clenched her blade in her fist.
Ketu had been tired to a tree, his black eyes locked on her. They looked excited, like he knew what she was going to do.
Roan and Bellamy seemed to realize it a moment too late. As Clarke drove her blade into Ketu's stomach, she stepped right up against him.
"See you in hell." She growled, dragging the dagger up his stomach.
"Clarke!" Bellamy Snapped, shocked by her violent act.
Ketu laughed, turned into a wet cough as blood dripped from his mouth like drool. Clarke gutted him until she felt the bone of his ribs. Violently pulling the blade from his skin, Clarke raised her arm above her head and screamed. She pierced his heart and released the hilt, leaving the blade in his heart.
Taking the gloves from her hand and dropping them to the ground, Clarke pressed her hands to Ketu's chest.
Pulling them back, she watched the blood drip down her fingers.
Turning to the shocked group that stood behind her, Clarke took her hands and rubbed the blood on her face. She looked into the eyes of everyone there. Her people, Bellamy, Roan and Roan's warriors.
She brought her eyes back to Roan, "Now, i'll go home."
.
The rest of the gobins were easy to wipe out once new travels of what Clarke did. Fire burned their war camp to the ground with them inside it.
Nothing spread faster than word around their home. Before Clarke got back, word was already going around about what she had done. Grounders looked at her with great respect, some of the kids looked at her with trepidation. Her hundred, they looked at her with fear of what she'd done. They were confused, because Clarke had never been violent when it wasn't in self defence.
Murphy was the only one to great her at the fence. Not that she minded, she knew she looked scary. Blood was still dried to her face and Bellamy keep his eye on her the whole time.
Murphy tried to talk to her, get the full side of her story. Clarke was silent, the full realization of what she'd done sinking into her mind. How she gutted the man like a fish, like he was nothing.
She knows he would have done worse to her if he had gotten the chance. Like he had done to her people.
The week after she got back, Clarke kept to herself. She organized the trip to the ark sight and then to the drop ship. She gave Murphy and Raven the plan. They left without her the following day.
Bellamy tried to get her to join her friend, to morn with her family. She would not budge on the subject. They were all scared of her, even Raven and Murphy.
The worse was Bellamy, he tried to act normal with her. Clarke knew her actions had changed his opinion of her, he didn't know of the true darkness that was inside her.
The ground had made her, all of the sky people hard. But she made all the decisions, which means she took all the blame when bad things happened to them.
Her reputation did give her a couple new friends. Echo and Gina. The girls seemed to relish in the bloodlust, they didn't look at her as anything but a killer. She hung with them, drank with them, got high with them and spent all her spare time with them.
Clarke stopped helping Niko in medical when a small boy was suffering from a broken knee. His mom tired to be nice about it, but she would not let Clarke anywhere near her son. Saying she did not want such bloody hands on her child.
So she hunted with Echo and Gina, went out of scout trips with them. Anya and Bellamy made their disapproval well known.
Bellamy fought with her every night, so she decided just not to come home some nights. She was a waste so space. They all knew it, but she didn't care.
She told her people she would get revenge and they ended up hating her for it.
"Holy shit." Echo moaned as Gina slid her hand down her pants.
The two girls were getting each other off on the moss near the underground river. Clarke was so high she was finding it hard to focus.
Not wanting to listen to the two having sex, Clarke managed to climb to her feet. Her soul felt so black and heavy.
What the hell was she doing? She should have died a hundred times over by now. Finn, Fox, Carly, Ross, Troy. Those were blank faces in memories too painful for her now. They all died for her, or because of her. It should have been her. She deserved it.
If it wasn't for her trying to alert to ark to the air problem, none of them would have suffered so horribly. They would have died peacefully in their sleep, as the air was sucked out of the ark.
They wouldn't have been attacked, beaten and living in fear. Forced to fight in wars that they didn't start.
Tears slide down her face for the first time in weeks. Had she really only been back a couple weeks? It left like a life time.
It had been a life time, hadn't it? She had done enough, right?
What was left of the hundred now? thirty something.
She knew Anya would protect them now, they would be safe here. They could live under her rule and be happy. She had kept them safe, like she promised.
Clarke felt the heaviness lift as she bend and picked up a heavy rock from the grass under her feet.
The feet that had brought her back to the river, she had been swimming in with the girls only a few minutes ago. Looking into the water, Clarke saw the sun beaming off the water.
It was too bright, it reminded her of her first moment on earth. The drop ship doors open and she was being blinded by the sun.
She wanted that moment of awe back. Lifting her foot off the grass, Clarke stepped into the water. The liquid pooled around her body. The rock in her arms sinking her into the waters embrace.
For the first time in months, her mind was quiet.
.
"She's gone O. I failed." Bellamy ran his fingers though her hair.
"No you didn't. You kept her alive."
Bellamy's eyes were wide and wild. "She isn't living, Octavia. She waisting away her life. She doesn't even bother to fight back when I yell at her anymore. She walks away or looks threw me like i'm not standing right in front of her."
Bellamy will admit he started fights with Clarke when they first got back so she would talk to him. At least when she was fighting he knew she still gave a fuck. Now he resorted to stalking her. Following her when she went out with Echo and Gina. Keeping her safe, that is where he'd been headed when Octavia had arrived home.
"She's drowning bell. She killed a person, it might not have been her first kill. But it was her first un prevoked one. She murdered Ketu for revenge, what he did to her people and their families. I know she went there with the intention to kill him, but I don't think she expected to do it. I think she thought he would be a casualty of war."
"Clarke isn't like us Bell. She wasn't made for war, she's not a grounder."
Bellamy look up at his sister, lost. "Then what do I do?"
Octavia sighed, "I don't know. Getting her away from Gina and Echo would be a good start."
"I can't find even ground, I don't know how to bring her back."
.
Her heart hurt, eyes started to burn as she closed them against the figure in front of her. Bellamy.
The pain in her chest tripled, her vision blackening taking Bellamy from her. Clarke dropped the rock so she could reach out for him, panicking when her fingers seemed to go right threw his body.
Her first breath of air burned her lungs almost worse than the lack of oxygen did. Sputtering and coughing, Clarke bobbed. Her head spinning as everything cleared and she thought about what just happened. What she'd just failed to do.
She got herself up onto the grass and cried, hours passed. It was getting dark and she had come out here just after breakfast. It would take more than a day to cry out all of her pain, forgive herself for all the sins she committed since landing on earth.
The darkness still clung to her, Clarke deduced that was something that she was going to have to live with the rest of her life. She imagined everyone on earth carried a darkness with them.
She could live with it, for herself and for Bellamy.
Maybe it was time she stopped trying to be a leader, that isn't who she was. Anya was a leader, she would take care of the ski people. Maybe Clarke needed to focus on just being a living person. Maybe then she could get some of her old self back.
A hand on her damp shoulder startled her out of her thoughts.
Looking up Clarke felt her lips lift. Bellamy stood over her.
Clarke watched as he took in her water logged appearance. Her red puffy eyes and cheeks, she imagined she looked a little rough. His eyes looked to the stream of water, seeming to zero in on the long rock ten feet down.
She felt him, take her wrists and flips her hands over. The scratches from the rough surface of the rock having scratched up her palms.
Clarke watched Bellamy pupils as he deduced what had happened in the last day. She watched tears well and slide freely down his cheeks. Then she felt him, all around her.
His arms safe and warm, his body shaking as he held her tight.
"Thank you."
Wither he was thanking her or someone above Clarke wasn't sure. But she wanted to thank them too. Despite how ready she had been to pull the still water into her lungs, she would have regretted not living to have their daughter.
Would have regretted not having the time to tell Bellamy how much she loved him. Not being able to be there for her friends. Missing Monty and Harpers wedding, missing Murphy become a dad.
God he was such a good dad, thank god he had a son. Murphy would not have survived a daughter.
Telling Bellamy she was pregnant, seeing his face light up. The earth melting sex they had minutes after.
At least Clarke hoped that all was in her future. She wanted all of it. Her friends, a family of her own with Bellamy. She knew it in her heart, that she could never walk away from him.
THE END