AN: Implied torture is present in this chapter and blood is present. Thus, this chapter is rated M. This is not for the people with weak stomach or minds. You have been warned
Lincoln marks April 1 on the calender while Lenington and the former looks to the viewer."According to Lincoln, Luan goes overboard on her pranks during April 1 and no one is spared. I'll take this as a challenge and challenge myself to not get pranked. If I get pranked, I'll run around the entire community once...on my hands." Lenington said and he ushers Lincoln to go ahead."Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Luan's April Fools' Highlight Reel."
Lincoln shows a film showing a compilation of every April Fools' with Luan. Scene one shows that upon entering the house, every furniture is nailed on the ceiling."I'd say this prank's a little over your head! Ahahahaha!"
Scene two shows the room is full of chickens."Seems to be your clucky day. Ahahahaha."
Scene three shows that the house is covered in gift wrapper. Luan rips through a window, "I guess that's a wrap. Ahahahaha!"
Scene four shows the Loud family covered in one gigantic gelatin."Aww, look at the Loud Family gettin' jiggly. Ahahahaha!"
Scene five shows all the pets had their fur and feather shaved off. Luan pops into scene holding a buzz shaver, "I shaved the best for last. Ahahahaha!"
The clip ends and Lincoln began to speak to us again."See what I mean? No one is spared by that mad woman. But this year though is gonna be different. Luan is not gonna prank me this time. Because I got an April Fool proof plan. Rimshot!" he screamed to the door."You're not the only who can make a pun, Luan!"
Lenington opens the door, revealing the Loud sisters preparing for what seemed to be the impending doom. Lily is wearing watermelon armor, Lynn is putting on padding and the twins are applying bubble-wrap on themselves."Me next." Lana said. Lucy comes in with a headwear that looks like the head of a gargoyle, "I need more armor." she stated before Lenington covered her in a thin layer of metal string, Lucy smiles."Where's my helmet?!" Lynn asks as she enters the hallway with Lisa, who is wearing a soldier's attire.
Lori is on her phone, "Bobby, cancel all our plans for April...Because Luan might shave my eyebrows again and it takes a month for them to grow back!"
Luna is following Lisa, "Please, Lis'. Let me in on your bunker." she pleads."You should've been more prepared. All of us know this storm has been coming for exactly 364 days." Lisa replies and walks away. Luna drops to her knees, "PLEASE, LISA! SAVE ME!"
The two boys walk by, Lincoln whistling and Lenington walking in a confident manner. The twins dashed towards them, holding some bubble-wrap, "Arms up, you two. Your turn for bubble-wrap."
"Not today, disco lady." Lenington says in a sing-song manner."We're not getting pranked this year." Lincoln said in a confident tone.
The sisters began murmuring with each other.
Lola: That's not possible.
Lynn: Are you two out of your minds?
Lincoln immediately tries to calm everyone down, "Everyone, calm down. Both of us have a plan, or at least I do. I don't know about Lenington."
"I've been prepared ever since I moved with you guys." Lenington bragged."My plan is I'm gonna lock myself in my room till the day ends. I've got everything. Food, water, video games and a hose I call Tinkle Tube which I'm gonna use to pee in. Patent pending."
Everyone grimaces except for Lenington and Lana, who looks excited. He points to his window, "It goes out through the window. My point is that I'm not leaving until the day ends so Luan can't prank me."
Everyone except Lenington looked frightened as they hear slapping sounds down the stairs. It was Luan dragging a sausage through the railings as she climbs the stairs."What's that sound? Oh, it's nothing but Prankmas Eve upon us. I'm just boiling withexcitement." Luan said in a sinister manner and pops a single bubble from the bubble-wrap Lola is wearing."This is gonna be more fun now that we have some new meat on the house." she said as she stares down at Lenington, who just poses in a weird manner, hands crossed and standing on the edge of his shoes while everything up his waist leans back a little, giving him an aura of confidence.
"You can try, Lu-anne, but this meat is bigger than what you can chew. In other words, can't touch this." Lenington replies as he jabs a thumb at himself, without moving anything other than his thumb."Oh? And what about if I did prank you?" Luan challenges. The other onlookers looked on in anticipation and anxiety.
"I'll give you this." Lenington brings out a comedy book as thick as half his torso."And I'll be your slave...hm, let's say... 5 years." Luan grins evilly while the other siblings gasped."And that's if you managed to prank me. If you couldn't prank me, I'll consult my book filled with various torture methods that will make the most sadistic person wretch."
Lenington reels in a brown book from downstairs with his strings and flips to the first page."Here's an entry-level torture technique. Screwing silver rods soaked with water on various points of the body whilst avoiding vital organs then striking said rods with electricity." Luan is visibly unnerved by this, the terror she feels severely lessened by her prankster instincts, the other sisters and only brother running somewhere to empty their stomach, and that's from merely hearing a supposedly entry-level torture technique."You wouldn't." Luan said in a denying tone. Lenington only took out a plastic bag full of silver rods."You're gonna have to go against all odds to prank me so may the gods of fortune be on your side tomorrow." throughout his sentences, he speaks in a low-pitched and sinister voice, completely replacing his stereotypical adult male voice.
The two rivals walk away from each other while the ten other Loud kids who just got back from hurling their insides out meet at again."I'm gonna need a fresh pair of undies and dress." Lola commented. Everyone even Lana agreed and they all head for their wardrobes to get changed and hopefully get something to eat from the kitchen.
Every Loud kid except for Luan are now at the basement."Everyone here? Great, now. About Luan." Lincoln would have continued if it weren't for Lola, "Shh! She's got ears everywhere. I saw this in a movie
She can't hear us over the noise." Lola motions to the person closest to the washing machine, who was Lenington, to turn it on."Guys, should we really trust Lenington? I can't imagine a person who'd torture their own family as part of a competition." surprisingly, it was Lucy who said that."Oh please. It's all a part of an act. I got a payback plan in store for her." Lenington said.
"True or not, we still have to survive tomorrow. If we work together, we can prevent Luan from causing mayhem or at least lessen the damage." Lincoln stated."And how exactly are we gonna do that?" Lynn asks.
"Here's the plan." "Make it fast. The washing machine is almost done spinning." Lisa ushered.
Later at night, in Luna and Luan's room, the former is snoring loudly while Luna gets up from her bed and heads to the door to make a bird-like sound, likely to tell everyone that the prankster is asleep. Everyone enters the room, their shadows cast over Luan, who wakes up and screams as they pounce at her and before she knows it, she's trapped in a cage with Chinese finger traps on her fingers.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Luan screams, enraged."Okay." Lincoln said simply."Really? That was easier than I-" "Sike! April Fools! We aren't letting you out until April 2nd."
The Loud kids except Lenington cheered."Aw, looks like you lose." Lenington said in faux pity as he brings out the plastic bag from earlier and let's out a sinister laugh. The others were obviously creeped out by this and had second thoughts but rejoiced as they wouldn't be pranked this year."Crate plan, Lincoln." everyone laughed at Lynn's pun."I've been crating for this my whole life." everyone laughed at Lori's joke."You know what they say, better crate than never." everyone laughed at the plumber's joke.
"You're in a crate." everybody stared at Leni in confusion."Get it?" "Let's just go to bed, you guys." Lenington suggested, everyone liked that.
The next morning, Luna is heard screaming. Everyone rushed in to her room and saw the cage broken open, everyone except one is sent into a panicked state."We're doomed! Luan escape and now she's bound to be mad." Lola said."Ho? She escaped? She'll continue the game knowing that I'm in the house INSTEAD OF BACKING DOWN FROM HER IMPENDING DOOM?!" Lenington said, his voice gradually increasing in volume as he speaks.
"The pranks are bound to increase in intensity and magnitude now that a tougher participant is in this game." Lisa stated, causing more panic."How could she escape?" Lincoln asked."Uh, beaver tooth as big as her eyes?" Lenington answered in a matter-of-factly tone and holds up a loose chain
"I really should use quality products more often." as he said that, he notices an elaborate prank involving the chain he holds. He pulls it and coated himself with dark lightning because as soon as he pulled the chain, honey pours from above and feathers are blasted on him. It didn't work as the honey evaporated from touching the electricity and the feathers burned to ashes, afterwards he turned off the coating. All of this happened in one seconds, the other siblings looked on slack-jawed. Lenington turned to Lisa, "What? Don't you know the standard lightning bolt has a temperature five times the surface of the sun?"
"Dang it, I knew that." Lisa crossed her hands in annoyance for forgetting such trivial fact. From another place, Luan grits her teeth as she watches the scene. Dread also pools from within her. Back with the other Loud kids, they regained their composure and focused on survivang 'Prankmaggedon'."I'll be in my bunker." said Lisa as she runs off."Everyone! To my room! We'll be safe there." everyone runs to Lincoln's room except for one.
"What's all this racket about?" Lynn Sr. asks from the stairs, he was wearing bubble-wrap."Luan is at large. SAVE YOURSELVES!" Lori informed them as she continues heading for Lincoln's room."What? But we thought she was locked up." Rita said in a calm but panicked voiced, she was wearing protection strongly resembling what Jason Voorhees wears."Plan B! RETREAT! RETREAT!" Lynn Sr. screamed as he and Rita ran off to somewhere.
Lincoln's phone ringtone goes off."Uh oh. Ronnie Anne's on her way? Can things get any worse?"
Meanwhile, Lenington was watching the commotion, 'Since you said that, yes, yes it can.' he thought to himself. True to his thoughts, Lincoln bangs his head on the wall, things got worse as a vacuum cleaner taped to the ceiling drops dust on the buck-toothed boy."Well, that's my answer. At least that's one less prank Ronnie Anne has to go through." Lincoln said. He perks up at what he said, "I got it! If I set off all the traps in the house, then Ronnie Anne won't have any left."
Lynn peeks her head out of Lincoln's door, "Lincoln, Lenington! Come over here! It's not safe out there." she called out."Save yourselves! I got a job to do." Lincoln replies."No, we got a job to do." Lenington cuts in, getting a smile from his only brother."Don't worry, you two. I'll plan your funeral." Lucy said."Only if we die." Lenington said before the sisters boarded Lincoln's room with Mahogany.
Lincoln puts on a helmet and takes out a floor plan of the house then circles the kitchen."I'll start with the kitchen." he muses."I'll do the bathroom first." Lenington said, the two nodded to each other and went off to separate ways.
As Lenington opens the bathroom door, a sack of flour flies nearly slams into him if it weren't for him dodging."Piece of cake." he remarks as he enters. The sack began beeping, "Yeah, make an flour bomb, see if that'll do anything to me."
The sack explodes and he reaches for something to remove the floor. He takes a towel, but a pack of raccoons nearly attacked him and the camera switches to the opposite side of the door, thereby hiding what transpired next inside. Crunching sounds loudly emanated from the inside of the bathroom, running water sounded next a few seconds afterwards before stopping.
Lenington came out unscathed, he lost his tuxedo though, so he pulls out a new pair out of nowhere."Ah, refreshing. Should have picked imps instead of raccoons. Where would she get imps though, anyway?" he shrugs to himself and headed for the living room. He closes the door behind him while something flows through it. This went unnoticed by Luan, who growls in exasperation and anger.
A few minutes earlier, Lincoln heads downstairs as Lenington heads for the bathroom. Lincoln arrives downstairs and finds a sign pointing to the front door. The sign had the words "Kitchen this way." written on it."Kitchen this way? Ha! I'm not dumb enough to fall for that one." Lincoln remarks and heads to the kitchen and finds grease covering the kitchen floor."Welp, here goes nothing."
He takes a step forward. This activates a trap that kicks him forward, slipping towards the fridge while a box falls on him. He tries to get up and grabs the fridge door but slips and opens the door, a boxing glove socks him in the face, sending him careening for the stove."OW!" he screamed and his helmet shattered.
A bunch of raccoons came out of the stove and attack him, eliciting more screams from him. Luan pops out from the other room, "I made that dish from scratch. Ahahahaha!"
Meanwhile in the backyard, the Loud parents pound on Lisa's bomb shelter."Lisa Marie Loud! Let us in." Rita demanded as Lynn Sr. continues pounding on the shelter."I need something in return. One, I won't be punished for the explosions in or around the house." Lisa stated. Luan pops in from a window behind them with a pile of Lily's used diapers."Happy April Stools." she punned as she loads up a slingshot with a diaper and aims for them."Are those Lily's diapers? She wouldn't." Rita said, apparently in denial. Lynn Sr. pounds on the shelter more intensely."Anything you want! Just let us in!"
Lisa comes out of the shelter with a contract but before she can make them sign it, it was burned to ashes by Lenington, who brings the husband and wife to a dome made out of string."I'll let you guys out when it's all over. You can find a button to retract the facial part. For now, stay safe." Lenington hands them some spare respirators. The parents put them on before Lenington rolls out of the way of a barrage of diapers. Luan once again growls at another plan thwarted, Lisa also growls because her plan is also thwarted. Lenington cuts off his connection to the string dome and shines with a steel-like sheen.
Meanwhile, in Lincoln's bedroom."If we ration the food, we should survive through all this mess." Lori said."What do you mean by 'ration'?" Lana asks as she eats a chips and drinks apple juice. Everyone glares at her and she realizes her mistake and smiles sheepishly.
Lola scoffs at this, "Typical! Someone ought to go to the kitchen and get more food.
Lori, Leni, Luna, Lynn, and Lucy all chatter amongst themselves all at once. Lana gasps as she gets an idea, "Let's draw straws!" she suggested. Leni sighs, "I'll do it. I'm just gonna lose. I'm a terrible artist."
"Leni, that's not what Lana-" Lucy was cut off by Lola covering her mouth."Good luck, Leni."
The other girls pushed her out of the room and boarded the door again. Leni arrives downstairs and sees the sign from earlier."Kitchen this way? Oh. Thank you sign!" she finds another sign, "Thank you, sign!" she finds another one, "Thank you, sign!"
This continued until she disappears into the horizon.
Lincoln and Lenington converged into the living room."The living room. So far, so good." Lincoln muses. Lincoln crosses a red line the showed itself when it was touched and a projector turns, showing a video of Lincoln kissing a balloon with Edwin's face drawn on it with Clyde beside him."I think this is how you kiss a girl." Video Lincoln said and kisses the balloon."Don't hold back, Lincoln. Girls like a guy with passion." Video Clyde instructed. Video Lincoln does so and the balloon pops, the video loops."I can't let Ronnie Anne see this." Real Lincoln said. Lenington destroys the projector with flames."I need a break." said Lincoln as he sighs in exhaustion. He moves to sit on the couch, "Stop!" Lenington screamed as he hold Lincoln by his collar and pulls him away from the couch. Lenington firmly pats the sofa cushions, triggering spring traps that would launch any unsuspecting victims to the ceiling that was covered in sticky flypapers.
Luan pops in from another room and snarls at Lenington, who dances to mock her. Luan leaves.
Lincoln looks at the map, "The bedrooms are the only one left." he said and looks at Lenington then nodded to each other. The camera switches to the outside of the house as the two gets attacked by Luan's pranks and traps. The camera switches back to the two, Lincoln looking messy, tired and beaten up while Lenington looks completely spotless and fine. Lincoln gets a call from Clyde."Lincoln, what's going on? Lucy invited me to Lenington's and your funeral." Clyde asks. Lenington safely takes out a mouse trap latched on to where his eyebrows are located, "Lenington and I have been settling off traps so Ronnie Anne doesn't feel any of them." he answered and takes off a shoe and sand falls out.
"I've set off every trap in every room except for Lori and Leni's." Clyde hungs up after the sentence."Clyde?"
A knock was heard from the door. Lenington opens it and it reveals Clyde."I volunteer to clear Lori's room." Clyde salutes and runs off to Lori and Leni's room. Loud grunts of pain was heard from Clyde as he gets attacked by the pranks. He comes down looking ready to pass out."Done. It was worth it. Lori's room smells like apple cinnamon." he said."That might be because of that." Lenington points to the pie on Clyde's head."Mission accomplished, boys. Mission accomplished." Lenington said with bravado, puts on some cool shades on his respirator and brings his hands to his sides. The three high-fived as Clyde walks away and faints in front of Ronnie Anne, who looked surprised before changing to a look of annoyance as she walks to the front door.
Luan came from behind them and chuckles, "I win! You thought you'd outsmart me but look at you now. You got the worst pranking ever."
'You won? Partially but not fully, I'm a afraid. I'll let you have your moment for now, though.' Lenington thought to himself."You didn't really won, Luan. We set off the pranks so that Ronnie Anne wouldn't have to go through them." Lincoln proudly stated. Ronnie Anne looks rather touched at their attempts to save her.
"Really? Well, who do you think invited her to come over, genius?" Luan said, Ronnie Anne looked confused at this."I knew you wouldn't just come out of your room so I called Ronnie Anne over and told her how you love April Fools' Day. And here she is, ready to deliver the final blow."
Lincoln turns to Ronnie Anne, who holds out a pie and gains an evil look on her face. Lincoln braces himself for the impact. Pie splattering was heard but he wasn't hit."Wha?"
Lincoln opens his eyes and sees Luan was the one hit by the pie in the face."Why'd you do that?" Lincoln asks."You took all those pranks for me. This is the only way I can repay you. Come on, let's go treat those wounds and get some milkshake." Ronnie Anne held up a hand for Lincoln, who held it and the two left."That girl's a keeper." Luan merely said.
The string dome disappeared into ashes."The dome, it's gone? That could only mean one thing." Rita said. The two tooked off their respirator and head for the living room, where they met their children."I think it's over." Lynn Sr. said. The eight sisters agreed."Wait, where's Leni?" Rita asks. Lisa notices the sign, "I have my suspicions." she said."Ok everybody, to the van. Let's go and find Leni. Afterwards, we'll celebrate with some frozen yogurt. Ha ha ha!" the patriarch chuckles and everyone heads to their van, they see Lenington throwing something blue into the horizon, the blue object disappears into the horizon before an explosion of blue paint was seen in the distance. Lenington was surrounded by his family, who was cheering for him."All in the day's work." he tips his glasses and opted to stay by the house after being asked to come with them to find Leni.
Luan looks on with a slouched posture and turns to us, "Aw, the end of April Fools' always makes me feel a little blue. Ahahahaha!" she laughs before her expression turned serious."I'm serious at that time. One didn't get pranked, not one bit."
"Meaning, that one won and you lost." a voice said in front of the driveway said before the world around her changed into the living room, door closed. She turned to the voice and saw Lenington with silver nails between his fingers, the nails crackled with dark lightning as he took a step forward. Luan screamed loudly in fright, snot and tears dribbling from her face as Lenington pounced her. Whatever she was expecting next, she didn't expect a brief flash.
She rubbed her eyes to get rid of the light and saw Lenington with holding his phone."You should've seen the look on your face!" said Lenington as he laughs loudly and presented the picture."Wait, so you weren't going to torture me?" Luan asks in disbelief."No! Of course not! Do you take me for a madman?" Lenington replied incredulously. Luan rubbed off sweat on her forehead."Nice attempt though, so here." Lenington presented her the comedy book from earlier.
"Really? Even though I lost?" She asks."Of course, you won't get me as a slave, though. Now what are you waiting for? Read some." Lenington ushered her to open it. Even though he can only see outlines, he can tell that Luan was shedding tears of joy. Through his strings of course. Luan finally opens it and didn't expect what she saw. A quantum physics book.
She opens it and saw a smaller version of the comedy book, she opens it and saw a smaller quantum physics book. She looked at Lenington with an annoyed look. Even though Lenington's face was blocked by his breathing apparatus, she could see that cheshire grin on his face."April Fools!" he screamed and laughed. Luan puffed her cheeks up in annoyance before chuckling then laughing along.
Later that afternoon, Lori went to the bathroom after they arrived after finding Leni. She saw some drying liquid on the floor, she opened the bathroom door and..."AAAAAHHHH!"
Everyone rushed to her."What is it, dear?" Rita asks after hearing her eldest daughter scream. Lori didn't answer and so, the parents peeked and saw something that made their blood run cold."What is it, what is it?" the twins asked."No! Don't look! Everyone that's not Lucy or older than her, don't look!" Rita ordered, her husband having fainted at the sight. Lucy and everyone older her looked and saw... A pack of dead raccoons that got "Kakyoined" for the lack of better term. Varying expressions were garnered, Lincoln fainted, Lucy looked on in morbid fascination, everyone ran somewhere to hurl so hard, bones flied out along with all their hopes and dreams. Well, that's an exaggeration but you get the point. Lenington felt sweat dribbling down. They turned to him after seeing a tuxedo with a bloody sleeved.
"Yep, that's me. Ehehe." he laughs sheepishly."Um, I'll go clean up." Lenington formed a string sack and placed the raccoons on in it before reappearing outside and burying it on a ditch he dugged up. After that, Lenington payed for their therapy.
Finally done. My eyes are aching after writing this. 3 hours straight if writing. Welp, hopefully you weren't eating while reading this or love JoJo. Now here's what I felt that needs to be said. I'll be completely randomising every episode in season 1 that I haven't written about yet. For now, peace out.