Author's Note:

Hey, ya'll. So.
What a year, huh?
I hope this finds you healthy, hydrated and wearing a mask out there. Please, please, please, take care of yourself and others, COVID-19 is no joke. Wherever you are, stay safe.

It's been some lousy months over here for the wifey and I, not gonna bother you with the details, but we had some very bad news regarding the health of a dear family member and, well, you can imagine the rest.

So yeah, I'll keep coming back to this because writing this fic is cheaper than therapy. I do have just one little request, though: you know I'm a mess regarding updates, but I've said several times before I'm not abandoning this baby. I did have some extra time to write, but I'm very self-conscious about what I post. Yes, I want to finish this one before the end of the year. Yes, that would mean I'd have to update A LOT more regularly. I just don't know when. So, please, bear with me, if you guys can tone down the "UPDATE!" comments I'd appreciate it, it'll help a little with my anxiety. Anyways, remember I love all of your reviews. Gotta be honest, I don't like this site and I rather publish everything I do on AO3 but I keep on posting here because of those of you found the story in here. So yeah, stay awesome. On to the show!

The Phantom Zone

A Timeless Land

The monster was half-dead. Or half-alive, maybe. The energy that kept him going was barely pulsing through his veins. His armor was broken, faulty and unstable thanks to the absurd sacrifice of the Zor-Els. Pure hatred drove him now, eager to recover in order to destroy every version of them, every drop of joy or love that any of them could hold inside their tiny bodies. He would hunt them across worlds, he would watch the life drain from their eyes and he would conquer all matter and become everything. Alpha and omega.

He was infinity.

He was all there is.

His vengeful thoughts fuelled his will as he crawled through time and space. The Phantom Zone was the only place he could go after his dreadful encounter with the Zor-Els on Earth-Y.

There, he could rest. There, he could wait and plan without the burden of losing precious time.

Time didn't exist in the Phantom Zone, so the creature made a nest there, and planned.

His empty, luminous eye sockets sparked with the promise of death and destruction, the nourishment that fed him. His wrinkled mouth almost painted a smile, imagining the many tortures, the pain he would inflict upon Humanity. Still, his body was unstable, the Zor-Els had damaged his life shell, and his life force leaked out like water from a failing vessel. He needed to do repairs, so he called upon the Manhunters he had enslaved many years before. He knew they'd have a purpose, and they delivered.

With the privilege of a timeless hideout, it didn't matter that it would take him a thousand years to heal as the Manhunters rebuilt his life shell, dying from exhaustion across the decades. He replaced them with new minions, hunted across the Multiverse by his loyal demons.

Ah, and the Zor-Els would be exactly where he left them once he decided to step out of the forsaken land. They would be waiting, spattered in different versions across the Multiverse, unaware that soon they would be erased by his power, like insects on the sole of his boots.

With a new armor and his mission clear, he rose again, ready to crush reality under his finger.

But he wouldn't make the same mistakes again. This time, he would weaken his enemies first. He would feed their worst nightmares.

And what he needed was right there, in the Phantom Zone, waiting for him to be released. It didn't take him long to find it, as he knew all, he saw all.

He looked at the specimen, unimpressed. Kryptonians were supposed to be formidable, but they always disappointed him. Two other specimens were there, sharing the same crystal jail. One was female, the other, a brute. They would have to do.

"Kara Zor-El's head, and those of her offspring, in exchange for immortality and eternal freedom," it was simple. In his pitch-less voice, the words sounded like a menace instead of a bargain, "I'm sending you to an Earth where Zor-El doesn't know her full potential yet and her descendants are nothing but helpless cubs. Should be easy for you, General."

He snapped his fingers protected by Nth metal gloves. A portal opened next to the monster, and the Kryptonian fugitives before him solemnly nodded before disappearing through it.

Whether these petty creatures succeeded or not, it didn't matter.

There were many others he could send. There was a Universe filled with enemies of the Zor-Els.

And he? He had time. Time to regain his strength and attack again, and all the Infinite Earths would cry mercy before him, and he would have none, for he was alpha and omega.

He was inevitable, and one insignificant family of Kryptonian and human hybrids couldn't stop him.

Earth-38

National City

Kara landed on the pavement, right before the club's front door.

She noticed two things right away.

The first one was that Jon was standing in his Armani suit guarding the club's door next to a 6.2 feet tall doorwoman.

The second thing was that Lena's heartbeat was still agitated, but she could feel she was not in danger as she first had thought when she found it amongst the endless noises of the night. The usually calming sound of Lena's heart sounded excited, joyful even? Whatever it was, she needed to find her.

Jon approached her first.

"Supergirl, what are you doing here?"

Quick! Summon the reporter reflexes! Make up a good excuse!Kara's mind raced trying to find the perfect words, but as always she retorted to the perks of having a double identity, the easiest way out.

"Well, Kara Danvers called me because she was – uh – worried. About Miss Luthor."

Jon smiled politely at her but frowned.

"I just spoke to Miss Danvers on the phone a few minutes ago. Miss Luthor is safe."

Liar, Kara thought. But she should play along. She couldn't accuse Jon of lying without raising some questions she didn't have the time to answer now.

"Yeah, well, you know I'm friends with both Kara and Miss Luthor and I… I don't know when you spoke to her but I made Kara a promise to check in on Miss Luthor in person."

Supergirl rested her hands on her hips, and Jon knew then that there was no way around this. But he had to try. For Lena's sake. Better said – for all their sakes.

"Supergirl, please. You have my word, Miss Luthor is fine and she'll be going home very soon. My job is to protect her and I would never let her come in harm's way," though Jon's tone was confident and reassuring, he made a point of making eye contact with Supergirl and said the following sentence almost in a whisper… "Kara Danvers knows this, she trusts me too."

What was he getting at? Jon's somewhat patronizing attitude was getting on her nerves.

She scoffed despite herself and shook her head, golden locks waving in the air as she grew impatient.

"Yeah, right, but Kara is not here right now and if you're so good at protecting her, how come you're out here and not by her side, inside the place?"

Jon looked taken aback for a moment, his James Bond pose breaking a little as he… blushed? Kara had to blink twice. But he was blushing, indeed.

"It's – it's a women-only club," Jon said finally, looking nervously behind him.

Realization hit Kara as she began to put the pieces together.

"Oh," was all she could say. Kara felt something twist inside her stomach and confusion clouded her mind for a moment. She knew this about Lena. Why was she surprised?

Jon quickly regained his trademark composure.

"But I have two of my best female agents inside watching over her."

She admired Jon's commitment, she really did. And she knew Lena was in good hands, but still, this whole situation didn't sit right with her and she knew that if she just saw her, if she just talked to her for a moment, everything would go back to normal and the rampant anxiety within her would settle down. It didn't matter that Lena had gone through a lot of effort to hide this place from her – she could have her reasons, she could have her secrets but – Kara needed to know that she was alright. So she couldn't give up. She had to see her with her own eyes, no matter what.

"Ok, I – I know you're good at your job, Mr. Essen, but I'm going in now," Kara said with finality, walking past him, "thank you for your time."

"Superg –" Jon grabbed one of the arms of steel quickly, almost desperately. Kara saw something new in his eyes – panic? Then he whispered, only for her to hear, "Kara, please. Don't."

She didn't flinch. She just stared back at Jon and dedicated him a tight-lipped smile. She was more annoyed than worried. She didn't have time for this.

"So you know," Kara accused.

Jon seemed to hold his breath for a moment and then sighed as if he knew he had already lost.
"I wouldn't be a good Chief of Security if I didn't know. But you don't have anything to worry about. I'm not here to argue with you, my job is to protect her. And you. All of you, Lena, you, the children –"

Although he sounded sincere, Kara just couldn't stand it anymore. Lena was right there, a few steps away from her, she was so close, and the uneasiness she felt wouldn't go away until she saw her. She knew this, but she also didn't want to hurt Jon. So she looked down at his hand, still clutched to her forearm, and gave him one single warning.

"Let me go, Jon."

He complied, slowly, carefully. He knew there was no way he could stop her, so he pleaded once more,

"Please, Supergirl…"

Kara turned towards the door without another word, her usually confident super-strut a little hesitant. The woman on the door just stepped aside and opened the door for her (she knew better than to stand in Supergirl's way).

Kara took a deep breath. She was nervous, for some reason. More like utterly terrified. The last time she felt like this, like she was about to fall down a dark hole, was when she was running down an alley, struggling to take off because she just saw the plane Alex was in falling from the sky. She knew Lena was not in danger. She knew there was no logical reason for her to feel like this. Still, she had to remind herself to calm down and channel her superhero apparent composure. As it turned out, she had other weaknesses besides Kryptonite.

The first thing she noticed was that it was hot. Of course, it was a nightclub, and the intoxicating (not in a good way) atmosphere of the place was built on the mixture of deodorants, perfumes, alcohol and sweat. The place was packed. Women everywhere, in groups of three, four, dancing, laughing, drinking. But then there were others in pairs, whispering things in each other's ears, touching, dancing, kissing… Kara had to look away a few times, feeling like she was intruding, like she shouldn't be seeing something so intimate. She had been to places like these before (heterosexual places, though), she wasn't scandalized or embarrassed, she wasn't a prude despite what Alex and Maggie might say to tease her. Yet, there was something so alien to her (no pun intended) in two people making out in the open. She had never met anyone that she wanted to do that with. She had never felt the urgency of kissing someone in front of the whole world. She had never felt uncomfortable with public displays of affection from others, but doing that herself? She never had felt the need. With Mon-El, with so many others… it was actually the opposite.

Was something wrong with her?, she wondered. As she walked slowly among so many women who looked like they were having the time of their lives, Kara envied them. She thought about the customs in Krypton. She thought that maybe the way humans approached love and desire would never sit right with her because after all, she had been born in a Kryptonian birthing matrix, her purpose written in her genetic code and her destiny sealed by the role her parents had assigned her. She was supposed to be a scientist, in Krypton. She was supposed to marry someone from another powerful house, when she was of age, and honor tradition and have some matrix-made children of her own, and also engineer their traits and aptitudes as her parents had done with her. But all that changed the moment she was put in a pod to follow her cousin to Earth. Destiny wasn't written in stone anymore. She had defied everything that had been chosen for her, both on Earth and Krypton, so perhaps her path to love would be a new one too. Something unexpected, something that would feel right for her.

"Whoa. Dude. Great cosplay!", a slurring voice exclaimed behind her.

The dim lights and the loud music had prevented everyone from realizing that Supergirl herself was walking among them. Kara hadn't even thought about the pros and cons of stepping into a lesbian nightclub in full super suit, that's how much the need to find Lena was clouding her judgment.

The woman who had spotted her was visibly drunk and Kara smiled awkwardly at her, hoping the people around them would just ignore her.

"Wait – wait a minute…"

The drunk woman squinted up at her in the dim light, and Kara saw her clumsily reaching in her pockets, probably trying to find her phone.

Kara walked past her trying not to draw attention to herself. She saw the woman that had recognized her walking up to the bar to talk to her group of friends, she was waving her arms in the air. She didn't need to use her superhearing to know she was telling her friends that Supergirl was in the club.

She needed to find Lena, fast.

So she breathed in, deeply, and closed her eyes. She tried to find Lena's heartbeat, again, she knew it so well, it shouldn't be hard… and there it was, fast, agitated, almost in sync with the deep kick of the music.

"Feel, can't you see there's so much here to feel?

Deep inside your heart you know I'm real

Can't you see that this is going higher, higher, higher, higher?"

Kara was a Britney girl, but she knew the lyrics to the Kylie classic, and it was both the diva's voice and Lena's heartbeat what ended up guiding her towards the dancefloor.

At first, she had to use her X-Ray vision to spot her, there were too many bodies moving between them. The first few seconds she couldn't believe her eyes, so she shut them wide and shook her head, scoffing to herself. She must have focused on the wrong person. Only she hadn't.

Kara slowly walked towards where Lena was, almost in the center of the dancefloor, exactly as the song reached the chorus again and the whole club sang their hearts out to it. It was beautiful, almost, but Kara couldn't appreciate the moment because she only had eyes for what's happening right in front of her.

The stroboscopic lights that helped the crowd ride their moment of euphoria along with the song's climax didn't prevent her from having a clear view of what was happening. Lena didn't notice her, how could she?

Something within Kara made her stop breathing for a second, she didn't know what it was, but it felt like a ball of fire exploding inside her chest. Rage. Confusion. Disappointment. Hurt, above all.

"I'm standing here with you, why won't you move?

Even if it throws you to the fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire"

Lena was kissing a tall blonde woman with curly hair and legs for days. Kissing? No, that was not the word. She was devouring her and being devoured in return. Their hands were all over each other's bodies, little moans of pleasure and desire escaped their mouths whenever they separated, just for a millisecond, just enough to keep breathing.

Kara stood frozen as she watched (and heard, because her superhearing was having a mind of its own now), and for some reason, she couldn't tear her gaze away, no matter how big and scary the ball of fire within her was becoming, burning her, threatening to destroy her from the inside.

"All the lovers that have gone before

They don't compare

To you"

The tall blonde grabbed Lena's ass and began sucking her neck as the song was coming to an end. The young CEO's eyes were closed in ecstasy, and Kara felt like throwing up.

The Kryptonian suddenly realized this was all wrong. She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't have come. She shouldn't be feeling what she was feeling, no matter if she didn't even know what it was.

A new song replaced Kylie's hit but Kara didn't have the time to notice. As she turned around to try to escape the place as quietly as possible, the drunk woman who had previously recognized her suddenly surrounded her with a bunch of her friends, all of them shouting and jumping around her and recording her with their phones, losing their minds over her muscles and the suit and the fact that shewas there. They asked for selfies and autographs and Kara couldn't keep up but she smiled and was as polite as possible as they all went crazy around her. It was only a matter of time before almost the entire club noticed and all eyes were on her.

All eyes, including Lena's.

Kara couldn't look at her. She didn't want to, too afraid of what she might find in the ocean of green and blue that had always felt like home. Kara knew that tonight had changed things, she didn't know how, or even whathad changed, but she knew things were not going to be the same from now on and she didn't want to face it.

And, besides, the ball of fire still burned inside of her. She was afraid that if she looked back at Lena it might burn them both.

She had been desperate to find her, to see her with her own eyes, and now she couldn't look at her and all her mind kept telling her was to run away, to put as much distance between her and Lena as possible. So when she heard Lena's voice calling her, just a timid 'Supergirl?' that only the Kryptonian could hear, she panicked.

Fight or flight, right? Well, she clearly needed to fly in this case. As far away as possible.

She excused herself and even though her legion of fans cried out in disappointment and kept reaching for her, Kara managed to make her way to the front door.

Jon was right there, almost in the same spot she had left them. When they locked eyes, Jon's mouth hung open for a moment, and Kara knew whatever she was feeling was, she had it written all over her face.

The more reason to run.

She heard her hurrying behind her, calling her again, but she didn't even look back.

Kara summoned all her strength to jump and fly at top speed. The blast from her take off was so powerful that Jon's tie ended up wrapped around his neck, and the group of fans from inside the club that had run chasing after her had to hold on to each other as their phones kept recording and they all stood in awe, squeaking and swooning like love-struck teenagers.

"Oh my God, this is gonna go viral in my Insta!"

"Did you see those biceps? I mean I saw the pics but – up close? I'm in love."

"I think I'm gonna pass out."

"My roommates are not gonna believe this!"

"I'm never washing my hand again, ever."

In the middle of the joyful chaos, one woman in a dark-blue Gucci dress just stood there, staring up to the point in the sky where Supergirl had disappeared.

Jon walked up to her, approaching carefully.

"I tried to stop her, she wouldn't –"

Lena shook her head.

"Don't," she said simply, her voice calm, her hands trembling a little, "just take me home."

He nodded and thoughtfully looked away when Lena tried to hide the tears in her eyes.

Kara flew high, higher than it was safe for her. She broke the sound barrier and kept pushing, up, up, up and away until she felt Earth's gravity trying to pull her down. She had done it before while lifting Fort Rozz, she could do it again with nothing but her hands and her cape. A spacecraft leaving the surface of Earth needs to be going at about 11 kilometers (7 miles) per second, or over 25,000 miles per hour to enter orbit. That's approximately 33 times the speed of sound. Kara went through all these numbers in her head as she just pushed harder, her teeth clenched and her eyes focused on the stars. She couldn't breathe in space, that was true, but she could go without air longer than any human so she would be fine. Though, in this case, she was like a dog chasing a car: she didn't know why she was doing this, she just knew she had to do it.

Perhaps being in space, if only for a few seconds, would burn the image of Lena in that woman's arms. Lena moaning in her mouth. Lena being groped and fondled by those hands.

Kara screamed.

No one could hear her up here, as she was close to breaking gravity's barrier and experience 3000 degrees Fahrenheit. The heat would be welcomed. Kara needed to feel something more than this inexplicable, illogical pain.

When she felt the air around her disappearing and becoming fire, she realized how absurd this was.

How pathetic she was.

So she stopped. Dead in her tracks. And she just let herself fall back to Earth.

The feeling was welcomed. The air pushing against her. Her head spinning. The peace of not having to do anything, just… fall.

She calculated she had about five minutes before hitting the ground. Given the speed and drag, she needed to react in four and a half minutes tops, or she wouldn't be able to stop herself from impacting the ground.

She smiled. She knew she was above the Pacific Ocean. She wouldn't hurt anyone. Falling was something she could control. It wasn't real. She would stop before she hit the ground. Falling was easy. The wind spinning her body was white noise to her ears, a relaxing chant that told her this, you can control. This, you know.

But the ball of fire inside of her still refused to be tamed.

Lena in that woman's arms. Lena in the arms of others. Men. Women. It didn't matter. They were just shadows in her mind, images she was making up and still… there was this dull ache. Why was she torturing herself? And why did it hurt, in the first place?

Kara didn't understand. Lena was her friend. She could do whatever she wanted to do with whoever she wanted to do it with.

Rage. Confusion. Disappointment. Hurt, above all.

As she kept falling, her mind kept replaying the scene in the club.

Rage.

Kara tried to reason with herself. She always felt protective of Lena. She was just worried about her. She had lost her once, and she couldn't go through that again. Not with Luna and Liam in their lives. Not with all that was at stake.

Confusion.

Their children. So beautiful, so magical. Kara loved baby Luna's dimples that resembled Lena's and little Liam's intense green eyes. She could tell they would be like his mom's. She loved that they looked like Lena. And she felt a warm wave of pride and love whenever Lena told her they actually looked like Kara. They were theirs, a hundred percent, no matter what destiny Lillian had intended for them. Kara realized her children had escaped destiny the same way she did. And Lena, she had done it too. Kara knew they were family now, the four of them, their bond unbreakable, but still, she yearned for something. Something more. But what more could she expect from Lena? Her thoughts made no sense, her mind felt like it was not her own.

Disappointment.

Lena was letting herself go in that woman's arms. She wasn't even paying attention to her surroundings. In the middle of a club. On the dancefloor. What if someone that wanted to hurt her took the opportunity? What if she wasn't there to stop it? Why was she being so reckless? And more importantly, why had she hid it all from her? She doesn't trust me, Kara thought.

Hurt, above all.

Lena had been so wonderful with the children and so gradually cold with her over the past few months. Kara had thought she needed time and space, and she had given that to her until she couldn't hold back anymore. She had no answers, just questions and feelings she couldn't process. All she could do was let herself fall into the ocean.

The fall! Her eyes fluttered open. She had about ten seconds to recover control of her fall before she hit the water. Of course, the impact wouldn't kill her, she would barely feel it, but there was no need to frighten innocent sea-creatures or spook some poor intern monitoring a seismograph in Hawaii.

Kara turned her body around, her hair getting in her eyes, her cape obstructing the movement in her arms… she pushed her fists forward and corrected her trajectory in the last second, now flying up again, avoiding the ocean surface.

She screamed again, and this time her throat burned and she felt she couldn't breathe. Her eyes fired up, but her heat vision never came out. Instead, fresh tears that felt like waterfalls.

Because she knew, finally.

Hurt, above all?

No.

She had been so stupid. So blind.

She was unequivocally, desperately, madly in love with Lena.

Kara Danvers, in love with Lena Luthor.

She screamed again as she kept flying to nowhere, into the night, into the skies.

She was in love with Lena. It was so clear to her now. And it felt right and natural and good.

But she knew she was doomed.

Kara Zor-El, in love with her human best friend, the accidental mother of her children.

And because of that, and perhaps other things too, but especially because of that cruel twist of destiny, Lena Luthor wouldn't, couldn't ever love her back.

So Kara kept pushing herself to the limit, flying around the globe with no direction, wishing the pain would eventually feel slightly bearable, hoping her tears would freeze up in the sky.