Disclaimers: I do not Criminal Minds or its characters, including Elizabeth Prentiss, or Sandy and Roslyn Jareau. I do own all OCs, including JJ and Emily's extended family, siblings, doctors, etc.
Spoilers: None
Rating: T

Hey, everyone! Thank you to those who reviewed on the last chapter. I will come back to answer them later but right now, here is the next chapter. I have an important question at the bottom, so please make sure you read the entire end author's note! :)

Baby Stats:

Juliet: 26 weeks (5 months) – adjusted age 17 weeks (3 months). 6.9 lbs. 18 inches long.
Lucas: 26 weeks (5 months) – adjusted age 17 weeks (3 months). 6.8 lbs. 17.5 inches long.
Jennifer: 24 weeks old (5 months) – adjusted age 16 weeks (3 months). 5.4 lbs. 16.8 inches long.

Notes: So this is JJ's first night home. It is Christmas night going into December twenty-sixth. You will get to see more of Michael/Sandy interacting - with each other and the babies.

Enjoy! :)

Quote of the Day:

"Be strong, be patient, and don't give up on tomorrow.
Touch your miracle, kiss your miracle, and open
your heart to new miracles every day."

December 25th, 1978

*Jareau Residence – Michael's point of view*

Today has been both an exhausting and an exhilarating day.

We managed to do the near-impossible: all three of our triplet babies are not only alive, but they are now home. Jennifer, especially, has worked so hard to get to this point. To grow big enough, become healthy enough…

I walk into my bedroom. This house is only a three-bedroom-house, so the girls share a room, Caleb, Elijah, and Gabriel get another, and then Sandy and I have our room. The Triplets are in our bedroom, until Jennifer and Juliet are big enough to move to Roz and Em's room, while Lucas will go to Caleb, Eli, and Gabe's room.

"How are Daddy's little girls and baby boy?" I coo as I look into each little bassinet. We have so many monitors and equipment and medicines and the syringes for their feeding tubes laying around that this looks more like a hospital room than a mom and dad's bedroom.

I check on each baby.

"Hello, my precious little Juliet? Did you have a good nap?" I gentle pick up my daughter who is also my youngest, first-born, laying her on the changing table. "Today is Christmas, your very first one! You may not be able to remember this, or understand much, but your mommy and I, and all your big brothers and sisters, are so happy to have you home today. We had so much fun today, taking pictures with you and Lucas and Jennifer."

Juliet is wearing soft pajamas that zip up gently over her feeding tube port.

"You are going to be bigger next Christmas," I continue speaking. "You will be, oh, let's see… July is one year, then… about 17 months old, but!" I hold up a finger, tapping Jules on her nose. "but since you were born so early, you will actually be about 15 months old."

As I pick Jules up, I continue, "I know that might be confusing so don't worry – Daddy will explain it a little more when you are older."

I have to lay Jules in her bassinet so I can get her medicine and formula ready. I would never leave her on the changing table without being able to supervise. It is just far too dangerous. And I know, the little things, like that, is something people would scoff at – I am only going to be turned away for one second! They may claim, but…

One second is sometimes too long.

One second could be all that is needed for a child to roll over and fall off, seriously injuring themselves. Even if they are too young to roll over right now.

I go through everything. Since they have been home for about 10 weeks now, Sandra and I have the routine down of feeding Jules and Luke, and giving their medicine, almost perfectly. Jennifer will be a little more difficult since today was her first day home.

In fact, there she is right now!

"Hi, honey," I greet my wife as she comes into the bedroom. "Did the kids go down alright?"

She smiles at me, making my heart beat faster. Sandra looks beautiful in her red dress, with her hair curled and pulled back.

"Yes, they were so tired from waking up early this morning that they all crashed and gave me no problem."

She goes straight it Lucas's bassinet. I notice that Jennifer's bassinet is first, and therefore, closer to the bedroom door. But I do not mention it.

Today is Christmas, and I do not want to ruin it.

"Just a moment, babe, and I will be done with Jules. Then I can help you get Lucas ready for bed, if you'd like."

Sandra just nods and picks up our youngest son. She talks to him, cooing, and being gentle.

"Hello, my Handsome Boy. Today was your first Christmas. Mommy and Daddy had so much fun. You looked absolutely dashing in your outfit."

Sandra continues speaking to our son. It really is a sight to behold.

I turn back to Juliet.

"Alright, my precious little Juliet, here is your medicine. Now, do not worry – this is not going to hurt. It is going to make you grow big and strong. Your lungs and your brain still need a little helping growing," I attach the syringe, and gently and slowly push the medicine through the G-tube. "This will also help protect against those big, yucky germs that may try to make you sick."

Once Juliet has all of her medicine, I feed her the formula that is specially made for preemies. She takes the bottle by mouth, and I gentle rock her to sleep while she is eating. Then, I place her back into her bassinet. Once I have all three babies finished and ready for bed, Sandra and I can put them to sleep. For now, though, I turn to my wife.

"Honey, would you like me to help you with Luke?"

I gesture to the changing table, and to where I am setting up his own medicine and syringes of formula.

"No, that is all right." Sandra stands up. "I can do everything here on the dresser. Why don't you go ahead and… and get… Jennifer, ready?"

My brow furrows at her stutter. But, I sigh, I guess I cannot be too upset about it.

At least she called our daughter by her name instead of "that thing" or something equally… rude.

*Later – Michael's point of view cont.*

I gave Jennifer double the amount of attention I had given Jules or Luke. Sandra finished up with our baby son, and then rocked him to sleep. She, once again, did not give Jennifer much attention but, I cannot complain.

Sandra held her today. And I saw her speaking to Jennifer earlier when she was in the bassinet.

She is still not going to therapy, and I am going to remind her of my ultimatum. But not today.

Because today is Christmas.

And today we have all eight of children home, healthy, thriving, growing…

I do not want to ruin it.

Instead, I tiptoe out of our bedroom – I was checking on the babies. It makes me so nervous, to have three very tiny, very vulnerable little ones in there, – I go down the hall, and peek into each bedroom.

The boys have a bunkbed and a smaller bed, for Elijah and Caleb, and then Gabriel. They are all bundled up, and sleeping, and they all have their new stuffed animals, Elijah has his frog, Cal has a stuffed bear, and Gabriel has a cat.

They are all three sleeping with both their old, worn, and favorite stuffies, as well as their new ones, which are decked out in Christmas colors.

I check the girls next, Roslyn and Emma. They, too, have their new and old stuffies with them. Roz has two lions, while Emma has both her new and old stuffed dogs.

I look to a certain spot across the room. While this was first Eli, Caleb, and Gabe's room, this specific spot in the girls' old room would have been where Lexie's bed sat.

God, today is the second Christmas we celebrated without her.

She would be about 4 years and 9 months right now. Turning five in March. Her last year of preschool…

It does not seem that long ago. 1 year and five months.

1 year and 5 months ago, I woke up, got ready for work, left the house, and went about my day.

1 year and 5 months ago, my oldest son, Caleb, called to ask permission to take Gabriel and Alexandria to the park. Lexie informed me that Sandra had slapped Caleb. It pissed me off so much.

And 1 year and 5 months ago…

I got a call from my wife, frantic and out of breath, and completely panicking…

My daughter, Lexie, and my nephew, Kevin, had went missing at the park.

Jesus, has it really been that long? That long since I snuck in my daughters' and sons' rooms and kissed each of them goodbye? That long since I heard Lexie say, I love you, Daddy! to me on the phone before leaving for the park?

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts.

I cannot dwell on those moments. I can only move forward, and remember my little girl as the sweet, beautiful, kind child she was.

*Around 11:30 p.m. – Michael's point of view cont.*

The Triplets wake up once more before Sandra and I go to bed. I feed Jennifer first, then Lucas, while she feeds Juliet. We have to feed them, slowly, through their feedings tubes, except for Jules. She is taking bottles by mouth.

I decide to ask because it is something that Dr. Jacobs has mentioned, and I need to know what Sandra thinks.

"Hey, babe," I call out as we sit on the couch, looking at the Christmas tree, and the remnants of the fun that was had earlier. "Can we–… I need to ask you something, ok?"

Sandra just… looks at me.

I sigh.

There are actually two things that are very important. I pick one at random, because each one is a topic I do not want to have to bring.

"We need to talk about… well… about Jennifer." I watch her face for any reaction whatsoever. I see it. It is very small, just an inkling, but there is a flicker of emotional change, in her eyes, her body language.

I clear my throat not backing down.

"It is about her lip, honey," I continue. "We need to discuss what we are going to do about it. I–…" How do I say this without sounding insensitive?

But then…

I realize…

I should not have to worry about sounding insensitive; my wife should know automatically that I am not saying these things, speaking about these topics, with the intent to hurt her.

"Dr. Jacobs has told me that we can do surgery on her lip. It will be to close the gap, and then later on, there may be more surgeries that she will need, as she grows."

I get no response.

"Also, I–" Fuck. This is one of those things. One that I should not be hesitant to mention, but…

Here I am.

"I will be needing to go back to work soon. The hospital, my boss, he has already given me several months of paid leave, but I do need to go back. Now, I spoke with Dr. Johnson about this, and… well, he said that I can start back with only the absolutely necessary surgeries and consults. As the Triplets grow, and get healthier, well… sooner or later, I will need to go back to my regular schedule."

Still no fucking response. I lose my temper, snapping out,

"Answer me, damnit!"

"What do you want me to say, Michael?"

"I want you to say anything, Sandra! Tell me you are thrilled to have all three of our babies home. Tell me you are worried about them, even now. Tell me you are concerned about what Jennifer's cleft lip means for her future. Tell me you are interested in knowing the 'whats' and the 'hows' for what we can do about that. Tell me anything, Sandra, anything at all!"

I slump in my seat as I realize that, once again, I let Sandra get to me, and I raised my voice.

I really should get a better handle on that, but…

God, I shouldn't have to be walking around on eggshells with my wife.

I sigh.

"Sandra, honey, I–… I have been quite lenient these past few months, after our talk in July. I… told you some of the things I had noticed – about you being restless, getting upset unusually easy, and seeming to not enjoy your past interests – and I said that I would be willing to do anything you would need to help you."

I pause here to see if there is any sort of reaction/recognition about what I am saying. What I am… well, what I am referring to.

But I get nothing.

God…

Where is the wife I once knew? Where is the woman that I promised to keep safe, to love, no matter what, and to raise our children with?

Where is the woman who would playfully blow dish soap bubbles at Emma and Caleb as they "helped" wash the dishes, or the one who would lovingly read our children a bedtime story…

I take a good look at who Sandra has become. I do not like it, not one bit.

I sigh again, long and deep and full of regret for what I am about to say…

"Sandra, I still would love to help you, in any way I can, with whatever is going on with you. I think you may be struggling, with this time a year, seeing as this is the second Christmas we have celebrated without Alexandria."

The slight shift of expression in her eyes is the only thing telling me she is actually listening.

"I would love to help you in any way I can, but I do need to remind you of the ultimatum I gave you. And, I am sorry, honey, if this sounds harsh, but I am doing this as what is best for our children's health, for what is best for us, as a family, and as a whole…"

I take deep breath, slow, and long, and drawn out…

And then…

"I am going to make you the next available appointment with Dr. Oliver. And I want you to know that, as much as I hate to have to say this, you will be going to her. Or you may choose another therapist on your own. Either way, honey, you will be going, otherwise…"

God, do I really want to say this?

Do I?

I am suddenly hit with the memory of the last five months – Emma and Elijah, and sometimes Roz, were treated like saints, Sandra cooing over Lucas and Juliet, while Caleb and Gabe seemed to fall off her radar, and her all but denying Jennifer's existence, – and I decide right then and there…

"If you do not go; if you do not speak with someone about your behavior, about what is wrong, about the things that have gone wrong in the last year and 5 months, then, I cannot promise that we will be celebrating the next Holiday together. I am giving you until February to change, to change your attitude, to get help, to get a better handle on your anger…"

"Two months to get a set of healthy habits for tending to your anger and whatever else is going on, or… Or, I am sorry," I force the words out. God, this is not how I wanted today – how I wanted Christmas – to go. "I–… I will start to draw up the papers for a separation."

At this, I stand, take my mug to the kitchen, turn off the lights and lock the doors, and then I make my way upstairs for the night.

*Later*

It is about 2 in the morning when the alarm for the babies wake us up. They need a diaper change and to be fed, and their next dose of medicine is due. We have to have alarm because, unlike full-term babies, preemies sleep through their hunger, and they also do not know when their medicine should be administered.

Because of that, Dr. Jacobs gave us a special alarm that goes off throughout the night, telling us when to feed/medicate them.

I am so exhausted that I don't even try and argue with her – try and force her – about paying Jennifer any attention. I take care of Lucas and Jennifer, while Sandra picks Juliet up. She changes her diaper, feeds her a bottle, gives her, her next dose of medicine, and then rocks her to sleep.

Luke and Jenny take longer than those few minutes. It is a mess and slightly difficult, but I am able to get Lucas fed, changed, and give him his medicine. Jenny, though,…

I take longer on purpose with her. Looking at the clock, I see it reads 2:17 a.m.

"Congratulations, babygirl," I whisper to my official youngest daughter. "You made it past midnight, today is a new day and, in just a few more hours, and it will be morning! Here you go, Peanut. This medicine will help you, and this is your special formula. That's a good girl, so calm and patient…"

I talk to her as I work, though I know she is not fully awake. Preemies are so different, in many ways. They sleep for many more hours than full-termers, as well as being awake for only a short of amount of time for feeding, etc., and when they are awake, it is more a sleepy/drowsiness than fully awake.

But the good thing is, with a feeding tube, unless the babies wake up for a diaper change, we can simply feed and administer medicine without waking them.

Unfortunately, this is only for Luke and Jenny. Since Jules takes a bottle by mouth, we have to wake her. The poor girl probably hates it, but sooner or later, they will all three be big enough that we can go longer in between feeds.

However, the bad thing about that?

Preemie babies do not start sleeping through the night as their full-term equivalents.

While Caleb and Emma started sleeping through the night at 4 and 5 months respectively, Eli did at 4 ½ months, Gabe at 5 months, and Roslyn, our little early princess, started sleeping through the night at just 3 months old.

That was quite alarming, but we quickly adjusted to it.

And then there is – was – Lexie. She was sleeping through the night just shy of 5 months old.

But preemies?

Well, preemies may be as early as six months or as late as eight months old before they are sleeping from bedtime through wake up time the next morning.

But, as I tend to Jennifer, and I look at baby's bluish-grey eyes that are extremely sleepy looking, I think to myself…

It will be so worth it.

Cause this?

This right here means that our baby is home.

I have no doubt about Emilia helping out with Jenny, or Luke and Jules. Roz, Caleb, and Eli are smitten with her, while Emma adores Luke, and Gabriel loves Juliet.

I would spend a million years getting up every two hours because it means my babies are healthy and home.

"I see skies of blue, and clouds of white," I whisper as I button Jennifer's onesie back up. "The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night."

I lay her gently in her bassinet.

"And I think to myself, what… a wonderful… world!"

This was Jen's first night home so not a lot I could do, but I did give an update of Sandy and Michael's relationship. Things are not looking too good, but he did remind her of his earlier warning.

Sandra does have PPD. Michael is going to try to get her to talk to someone, which will help her work out her frustrations/anger in a healthy way, and talk about how much she is suffering since Lexie was kidnapped. However, this will only work if she willingly participates in the therapy visits.

Also, I am going to be a "missing scenes" story, like I did with the first BFF. It will have missing scenes of between chapters, and extended scenes in certain chapters. This is going to be called Snapshots: Chronicles & Treasures. In that, will be more scenes of the months we've skipped over, in August–July, and the Triplets' first Christmas. Let me know if you want to request moment/scene for chapters 1 thru 20.

Please review and let me know what you thought! :)

Next up: One more chapter in December.
Then: A chapter dictating several weeks in January
After that: follow up to January chapter

Important Question! The last several chapters have had bigger time jumps. Would you guys like this to continue, or are you still happy with the pace from the last time I asked? Again, this is important because I am needing to know how to pace future chapters. So, fast pacing or back to day-to-day. I really enjoying doing it slowly but I don't want this to become too boring for all for you.