XVII.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

The night was still young, beautiful and full of life. Everybody was out about town or relaxing at home. Unfortunately for one specific troubled teenager, her damaged world just broke even more. She couldn't look away, her eyes completely focused on the body of the man she had just killed. It had been instantaneous, no warning, no thinking, before her mind even knew it the gun had been fired and with one single bullet her attacker had been slain.

"Oh my God."

Her first words as she fully understood her actions, slowly realizing that she had just committed murder. Her body shook uncontrollably, legs giving out forcing her to her knees. Finally looking away she placed one hand to her mouth as the other held on to the revolver. She was trying so hard not to scream out, forcing out any willpower to not have a full blown mental breakdown. Her heart was beating fast and her breathing was going wild. The weight of the revolver soon became noticable to her and her attention returned to it.

With wide eyes she examined the silver revolver as her left hand held it in a tight grip. She wanted to drop it even throw it away, yet her hand refused to let go, her body wasn't responding to her mental commands.

Looking back at the body, Lyra's head began to spin, the environment around her became a whirlpool as she attempted to get back up. she needed to leave, runaway as far as possible, run back home.

Before taking off, she remembered something important. Scanning the ground she couldn't find her wallet, it had to be somewhere nearby after the mugger had dropped it or thrown it. Getting closer to the body, it dawned on her where exactly it was. With quaking fear she kneeled next to the corpse and finally regained control of her hand by gently placing the revolver on the ground next to her. Not wanting to stare at the face of a dead man, she closed her eyes and with disgust placed both hands on the body. She nudge it a bit, but it remained in place, heartbeat accelerating she gathered enough strength and flipped the corpse over to its side.

Opening her eyes, she found her wallet right underneath her fresh kill.

Grabbing it she felt an all too familiar response her stomach was signaling. Getting as fast as she could, Lyra walked to the wooden fence and leaned on it for support as she threw up. It wasn't much, but it got the job done of deploring her strength as she spit out the remnants of bile in her mouth. Wiping away the taste and small tears in her eyes, she began to walk away from the crime scene. Lyra stopped, not taking one more step forward as she looked behind her, directly at the gun she had left on the floor.

Not thinking twice she turned around and snatched it from the ground. Her fingerprints were now marked on it, she was not gonna go to jail again. Even if it was self defense, she was adamant to never enter another courtroom or jail cell ever again. Remembering another vital piece against her, she reached for the dead man's pocket and snatched back her petty cash. Now she was clear to flee the area.

Not wasting anymore time her leg muscles kicked up and she ran down the alley. Not once letting go of the gun she was focused only on getting as far away as possible. Street after street she kept running a straight line until she once again almost got ran over by incoming traffic. All the drivers she passed by honked at her as they hit the brakes to avoid a collision. As she made it across she got nailed by the hip by a car on the last lane. The impact dropped her a few feet on the sidewalk.

The driver, an older man exited the vehicle, "Oh my Lord, hey are you okay?"

Without hesitation Lyra fearfully aimed the gun at the man, who recoiled back in surprise, "Oh! Don't please!" He raised up his hands cowering back inside his car.

Lyra kept the gun aimed at him as she got back on her feet and ran again. Now following the side walk she kept pushing forward. Her heartbeat was operating on pure adrenaline and fear, she was close to having a full blown panic attack, but her mind kept her busy by running. The scene of her kill wouldn't stop replaying, the attempted rape, the gunshot, his dead body; it was all a living nightmare.

Recognising the street she was in, she hid behind a local store to catch her breath. Her nerves were fully shot up and she was attempting her best to control her breathing. Sliding down to the floor she raised up her knees and crossed her arms to hide her face, her finger still on the trigger. This couldn't be happening, she wished it was all just a terrible, horrible nightmare, but it was futile for her to deny the obvious.

"What the fuck?...what the fuck?" Lyra continued to freak out, but at least she now had the time to think.

"I killed him. I fucking killed a person!"

Her rationality was pounding her with fear and guilt. From disowning God, to dishonoring her parents to lashing out at her younger sister who was just as emotionally damaged as her. Lyra had single handedly ruined her entire life all at once. She did not want to go to prison, but she also couldn't confront her family after displaying the monster within her. She felt completely alone, without him she had transformed into an absolute monstrosity.

"God, what do I do? What do I do?" Lyra sobbed.

She cried it all out, not stopping until her tears had run dry. Once her breathing slowed down and her heart pumped to a more acceptable pace, did she go silent and closed her eyes, taking a quick rest from all the chaos of the night.

A few minutes of silence and clarity she looked back up. Checking her surroundings, she was still alone, nobody had found or noticed her as of yet. Lyra brought her attention to the gun she had used and technically stolen, although one would argue that a dead man's property no longer had ownership, especially if that man was a criminal scum. Holding it with both hands she examined it from top to bottom, from side to side. It was clearly a revolver, she'd seen enough western films to know that simple fact. Also it had a short barrel so the firing distance wasn't that long, but that didn't stop the bullets from being deadly. She had no idea how to open the cylinder chamber, it looked so quick and easy on tv, but holding the real thing, she was clueless.

She killed a man with this thing. She was officially a murderer, but did she feel like one though? He had robbed her and was going to rape her. As far as she could start to rationalize it had been self defense, she should not be feeling devastating at all. Any other person would have done the same, depending on their self confidence or any actual defense training they would have either neutralized the mugger or went for the kill.

"It wasn't really my fault. Yeah! He had it coming." Lyra agreed with her own assessment, or at least tried to relieve some tension.

Anything to make her feel better at this point. She did the right thing, she just needed to nail it into her brain is all. Despite feeling a bit better the act of taking a life was still a hard stain to wash off, this would trouble her from here on out. Checking her phone it was very late, she needed to get home or find a place to stay the night. Getting back on her feet, Lyra tried to memorize her current location.

Once she got an understanding of the area she knew that her house was still a great distance away, she had been running the opposite direction. Surprisingly, Panther's home was actually nearby, so now she had to choose which place to spend the night. Recalling her inhumane treatment towards her own sister, Lyra felt ashamed with a uncontrollable disgust towards her own volatile behavior.

Lyra didn't want to go home, the shame was unbearable, she did not want to face her family after the actions she committed against them. She chose Panther's home.

With a heavy heart she walked out the alley, but before she went out in public, she glanced at the gun still in her hand. Not wanting to raise suspicions or even get the cops called on her, she decided to hide it from view. Only problem was that she had no idea where to place it, she didn't have any inside pockets on her jacket and her pants were tight jeans, no way it would fit in any of the pockets. She remembered what most people did on tv, they placed it on their lower backs, keeping it wedged inside their pants by the waistline, but she was fearful that the gun might accidentally discharge on its own. Checking if it had a safety on she found no indication if it did.

Prioritizing her own safety she decided against better judgement to test a certain theory out. Raising her arm up, Lyra aimed the revolver up into the starry night and looking away she pulled the trigger.

BANG!

"Motherfucker!" Lyra collapsed to one knee and held on to both ears as the loud sound of the discharged weapon pierced her eardrums.

That was a bad decision indeed.

Everybody in the nearby neighborhood had clearly heard that, she had to leave now! Recovering from the shock, she ignored her previous worries and quickly, but gently shoved the gun into her pants. It felt odd and the tightness of her waistline strongly pressed the weapon into her skin, but regardless she had bigger issues to worry about. Covering the gun underneath her shirt, she quickly hightailed it out of there.

Who could be knocking at her door? Panther wasn't expecting any visitors, especially this late at night, it was already close to 11pm. With a dread of uncertainty, the teenager approached the front door, but first she placed the chain on to prevent whoever it was from barging in. Slowly opening the door she cautiously peeked outside and her surprise was warranted.

"Lyra?"

"Hey..."

Opening the full door, Panther stepped outside to greet her friend. Lyra appeared in terrible shape and was deeply exhausted. Just what had happened for her to appear at her door steps in the middle of the night? To make a long story short, Panther welcomed her to sleep over and luckily for the teenage girl, the house occupied a guest room to stay in. Before going to sleep, Lyra took a very long shower, spending most of it sitting down on the floor as the water fell from above to her naked body. Her mind was a dysfunctional mess and her heart brandished an emotional scar. Too much had occurred, but she finally had time to think and be alone as she figured stuff out.

Panther handed her a pair of pajamas to wear for the night. When asked if she could take her clothes to the laundry, Lyra quickly rejected the offer, she was very skittish since arriving, that and the rest of her odd behavior caused Panther too worry more for her. In the end it was best to let her sleep off whatever bad energy she was currently combating, she would speak with her in the morning.

"Goodnight Lyra."

"Yeah...goodnight."

Locking the door as she left, Lyra unraveled the hidden gun amongst her clothes. Looking at it with a better view from the bright ceiling light, she became entranced with the metallic tool of death. It would fire automatically if the trigger was pulled, so she kept her fingers clear from the firing pin, it wasn't like the one's that needed to be cocked back to shoot every time as she'd once again had seen on television. The sudden kill shot flashed her mind again and she decided to sleep away this existing nightmare for a more peaceful dream, she hoped at least. Hiding the gun underneath the mattress she covered up and turned off the lights.

The shadows crawled and growled, their voices whispered in anger as they cast judgment on the helpless girl standing in the middle of it all. Too frightened to move and speak, Lyra just stood still as the darkness ever so slightly encroached upon her feet.

A unrecognizable voice made it's presence known.

"Fallen angel. Fallen from grace. A sinful life you have chosen to embrace."

Lyra frantically spun around to find the source, but the echoing voice seemed to be manifesting from everywhere, "I, what? Who are you? I don't know what you are talking about!"

"Once a saint, now a sinner. Continue this path and avenge he who has fallen by wielding your wrath. Go ahead and spill more tainted blood for me to have."

Lyra was petrified with pure fear as the demonic voice made it's speech very clear for her to hear. The implications cleaner than the holy scriptures themselves. She couldn't, didn't want to, none of this had to be real Why was she hearing these words? Why was she having this dream?

"No! I'm not a murderer, it was an accident! I don't want to kill people!" She screamed at the abyss.

"The heart says yes, but the mind says no, a conflict that needs to be resolved." The voice responded.

"It's time to destroy the soul for you to achieve your bloodthirsty goal."

The demons hidden amongst the shadows continued to growl and aggressively swing their claws at her. She yelled in pain as her legs were sliced. Falling to the ground the darkness finally encapsulated her, allowing the monsters free reign upon her, dozens of black claws began to viciously rip her flesh apart. Her screams were glass shattering as her body was torn to pieces and all the blood within her began to pour out and slowly submerge her. One last hand grabbed her face and ripped it away.

"Ahhh!"

Lyra thrashed violently on her bed as Panther hugged her for dear life, "Lyra! Lyra! Wake up it's okay! You're safe, you are safe!"

Opening her eyes, the brunette only saw the room she was sleeping in and the scared face of her longtime friend by her side. With no words she hugged her strongly, an act that the other girl reciprocated without question. It had been a nightmare, just a horrible dream that had felt all too real. It worried Lyra, as Panther consoled her with words of harmony and care, just how psychologically intense that whole nightmarish conversation had felt.

"I called your house last night."

Lyra choked on her drink, Panther sat besides her on the dinner table as both had breakfast together. She wasn't worried about Panther calling her family, it's if she got informed of the things she did against them that got her nervous with fear. Not seeing any change in expression she guessed she was in the clear, still though her sins would eventually come out for the whole world to witness, now that she did fear.

"Your uncle is just happy to now you are safe." Panther relayed the message.

"Thanks for doing that." Lyra sipped on her cup, hoping that was all that had been exchanged between the two.

"He didn't say and I didn't ask, but it's very clear you had a huge fight. Why else would you end up by yourself on this side of town that late at night?" Panther concluded.

Nevermind why worry about family members revealing private affairs when Panther was just as good at playing detective like Liby is. Had she always been such an open book for everybody to easily read or had she forever changed after that night? Regardless, just one more person to wail to about her many woes.

Finishing her cup, Lyra grimaced, "Yeah, that's what happened."

"Do...you want to talk about it?"

"I'm a bloody mess, that's everybody's issue."

Lyra crossed her arms and placed her head on the table as Panther looked on. A mess she truly was to the family, but right now she was the garbage queen of it all. She got a full night's rest, yet her unwelcomed nightmare got her even more mentally stressed out. She only wanted to go back to the room and sleep off the rest of the day, or days...

"Hey, thank you for letting me stay." Lyra told Panther with gratitude before adding the real question, "...If it's okay with your parents, I...can I stay over?"

"It got that bad huh?"

Lyra covered her face from Panther and groaned loudly for it to be heard. It wasn't just the shame, although majority of it was indeed, she just needed to get away from everything and everybody. Most especially right now, now that she had blood on her hands. She was an abomination, born from sin and now commiting sin.

"I'm asking too much, I should-"

"My house is your house." Panther smiled warmly at her, "Besides it's just me for the rest of this long summer, my folks are off to Europe, remember?"

Lyra raised her eyebrow before remembering, "Their anniversary right?"

With that settled all Lyra needed to do now was go to the one place she's dreading to return to; home. She would gather her clothes and essential belongings for the long stay at Panther's, however long that booking would stand. But just the shear fact of entering her own home, her long standing sanctuary and humble abode of love and trust was driving her over the edge, was a sign of how low she had fallen. As Panther drove her back, those thoughts plagued her already collapsing mind, she had no idea who would greet her at the door and that was what terrified her the most.

"Did your underwear go up your crack or something?" Panther asked, albeit in teasing way, having noticed the brunette wiggle and squirm about in the passenger seat.

"...maybe?"

Her friend just smiled at her silly notion when in reality it was the revolver she was keeping hidden in her waistline. Since acquiring it, Lyra has been paranoid about leaving it behind anywhere and clinged too it as if her life depended on it. Maybe she would place it inside one of her backpacks or suitcases for the trip back because it was both a literal pain in the ass and a constant fear of it going off on it's own and tearing her ass a new hole. She really needed to learn how to take out the bullets to avoid the said scenario and do it somewhere far and discreet as well; don't want to blow a hole in Panther's house now did she.

They had arrived.

Lyra could feel her blood pressure rising and dropping, a rollercoaster of emotions. She would have given a prayer, but it's too late for that now. Taking a step forward, she gave it her all not to turn and run. Maybe nobody was home, she hoped nobody was there to greet her, just a clean snatch and grab, no interruptions or interactions.

Grabbing the doorknob sent a shock of electricity to her body, traveling from her fingertips all straight to her beating heart. By God she was a nervous wreck, but she was here now, kinda pointless too walk away, ironic since that's the main reason she came back here to do.

Without knocking she entered the house and at first glance there wasn't a single soul spotted. She felt relieved, but still she hurried up the stairs, not wanting to stay here a minute longer. Reaching out the second floor she could hear the faith noise coming from Loan's room, of course she would be the only one still stuck at home. Not wanting to be spotted by anyone exiting their rooms she quickly entered her's.

Grabbing her backpack she dumped all her school contents into the bed, like she even needed them anymore and proceeded to stash all her undergarments in it. Once her drawers were searched, she pulled out the gun she had been hiding. Staring at it, she had no idea what she would do with it. Putting it away inside the backpack, she would worry about it later that day. In the closet she found her old suitcase and placed most of her shirts and pants to it's maximum. She wasn't running away, so most of her clothes, mainly the winter ones were left behind. Once that was dealt with she scavenged for any useful trinkets and utilities. Making a clean sweep from her vanity desk, she froze when her eyes spotted something extremely meaningful to her very soul.

Lemy's bandana still remained on his side of the room, on the drawer next to the bed.

In a hypnotic trance Lyra reached out for it, it called to her, wanted her and she accepted it. Holding the fabric in both hands brought back the ugly memories of that night. Her throat swelled up as her breathing ceased, the one thing that her brother cherished the most, a parting gift from their mother. Teardrops landed on the soft cotton as the memories, both good and bad came all at once for the teenager. Keeping it together, Lyra placed the beloved bandana inside her jacket. Wiping away the tears she got her shit together to the best of her already fragile abilities and walked out the door.

God must really enjoy punishing her.

From the top of the stairs where she stood, looking down to the first floor also stood the one person she regretted hurting the most. Her surprised face was expected, it quickly changed to a condescending look aimed directly at Lyra. Lupa too had been having the worst day of her life and to cross paths with the one person that shunned her with pure hatred was just fucking wonderful, in the most sarcastic way possible if needed to add. As soon as they made eye contact the younger girl removed her one foot off the first stair step and headed out the front door.

"Lupa wait!" Lyra frantically dashed down the stairs, dropping her bags which tumbled down the stairs, right behind her.

Just as Lupa had opened the door by a few inches, Lyra shut it back with one hand. Seeing her main exit blocked Lupa attempted to flee out the back door instead. Lyra had been quicker and managed to grab her as she ran across the living room.

"Let go of me!" Lupa screamed in anger.

"I'm sorry Lupa, I'm so sorry!" Lyra held on to her from behind as her younger sister put up a fight to escape her grasps.

"Stop touching me!" Lupa screeched like a mad woman as she thrashed and kicked.

Lyra didn't want to confront any of them, but seeing her caused her repressed motherly instincts she's always had for her sisters to activate at one hundred percent. She honestly loved them all, even Lupa who'd she had always butted heads with over the years, they meant the world to her, which is why her heart was hurting so bad right about now. Her grief for Lemy had turned her completely unstable and she ended up hurting her little sister in the most horrible way possible. She wanted nothing more than to apologise to her, even though it was obvious that the damage had been done and it was unrepairable for the time being or perhaps forever.

Lyra tried to turn her around so that they could speak face to face, but Lupa had other plans and it involved back kicks and swift elbows to every inch of Lyra's lower body. But the physical pain did not compare to the emotional one that Lyra had been ill with for weeks now.

"Lupa, I didn't mean to say those words! I didn't mean-"

"Fuck you! You're dead to me!"

The shock was surprising enough for Lyra to loosing her grip on her. Lupa immediately shoved her as hard as she could and took a defensive stand against her. She had tears in her eyes, seeing the pain they harbored struck every nerve connected to Lyra's already aching heart. It was expected of Lupa to always be edgy and brash, but right now she meant every word and that's what was hurting the older girl the most, because she knew it was the truth.

"Just like I'm dead to you, remember?" Her glare which masqueraded her inner emotional turmoil send chills up Lyra's spine.

Left speechless, Lyra did nothing as Lupa raced passed her and up the stairs. Breaking free of her own stupor she absent mindedly followed her, but was blocked from proceeded any further by the appearance of her older sister.

Loan blocked her path as both sisters met halfway on the staircase. She must've heard the ruckus that Lupa had dished out and came to either investigate or intervene. Her standing around with arms crossed and her ever present anxious ridden face didn't really present much to the other girl, but despite the typical characteristics of Loan, the look in her eyes gave out a complete separate vibe about the anxious gamer.

"L-Leave her alone, Lyra."

"I just want to explain myself!"

Attempting to push past her only resulted in Lyra getting grabbed by the jacket by Loan and held on the spot. This sudden defiance both confused and surprised Lyra, for Loan was a non-confrontational individual, she would rather flee and hide then stand her ground.

"Damn it Loan! Let me through!" Both sisters engaged in a power struggle, as one tried to push forward and the other pushed back.

"You already h-hurt Lupa enough! J-Just leave her a-alone!" Loan told her as she impressively held her own against Lyra's strength, "I said leave her alone you heartless monster!"

Lyra automatically stopped. Any resistance within her died upon hearing those words. Loan was simultaneously just as hurt as Lyra was, it was painful to speak such harsh words to her sister, but Lyra had become a loose cannon and needed to be put in her place. Loan may be a sheltered recluse, but after Lemy, she needed to stop being such a coward. No matter how hard and pressuring it seemed to her.

"...Y-Y-You've completely l-lost it Lyra! Lemy died for her! He...gave his l-li-life for Lupa, he loved h-her and wanted to spare her the p-p-pain." Loan was breaking down, but she needed to let loose all those bottled up emotions, "Our b-brother did not sa-sacrifice h-hi-himself just for y-you...you to turn into a f-fucking lunatic!"

"Please...stop...di-di-disrespecting his memory."

Once again Lyra was left absolutely speechless, first from Lupa and now from Loan, herself. Without responding back she turned her back on Loan and descended the stairs. Grabbing her dropped items, she say g open the door and marched right out of there. Panther had killed the engine and gotten out of the truck to see what was taking Lyra so long. She saw her friend suddenly exit the house and walk away with extra speed, something had gone down inside and her sullen face told that it had not been a soothing confrontation at all. Lyra threw her bags over the bed of the truck and climbed aboard the passenger side of the truck where she remained sited, not a single word out of her.

Panther looked back at the house seeing no one before focusing her attention back on Lyra, climbing back onboard she looked at her.

"Lyra?"

"Just drive!...just drive please." Lyra snapped as she covered up her face.

"Okay, okay! It's okay, we're leaving." Panther quickly reassured her as she ignited the engine and drove away from the house.

With the truck gone from view, Loan exposed herself from her hidden spot. Arms crossed, she felt extremely horrible having said all those words to Lyra, but she had been left with no choice. Her little sister was in so much pain that it had manifested into a raging monster, attacking her herself and loved ones. Everybody had had a turn to dish out their feelings and she was tired of bottling up her's. Loan sighed and with a heavy broken heart she closed the door to their home, wishing her sister the best recovery possible.

Her life had officially hit rock bottom.

Lemy's murder was the catalyst, everything that followed had dragged her further away from God's light and turned her into a living macabre of sins. Her own family had rightfully rebuked her and it stung, the pain was just as equally bad as the loss of her life. What had she become? She asked herself laying in the bed of her temporary room. She failed to find any real excuse regarding her lunacy as Loan had coined it.

Panther had left for work a while ago, shifting between 1st and 2nd shift across the week. She wouldn't be back until around 10:30pm, that left Lyra alone for the next four hours. Only during those moments alone did she had time to reflect on not just her erratic behavior, but on all the bad omens that have haunted her since her unraveling.

She lost the love of her life, disowned her mother, turned her back on God, hurt her entire family and let's not forget committed murder and is keeping it hidden.

It was rather surprising that the girl hadn't already gotten a full mental breakdown and lost her mind forever. Perhaps she enjoyed the suffering or to better put wanted to keep on suffering, a self given punishment for all her sins.

"I'm a monster..."

Lyra's depression had reached an all-time high as she held the revolver in hand, admiring it's design and color. After watching a tutorial video on her phone, she managed to safely pull out the cylinder and empty the cartridges on the bed. The capacity was of six with one spot having already been used the night before. The bullets were brass in color each with an appropriate weight to them, she could see the primer where the hammer would strike when the trigger was squeezed and cause the inner gunpowder to ignite and fire of the shot. With one hand on the gun and the other on the cartridge, she squinted so to read the tiny info around the primer.

".357 MAG..." Lyra read out the inscription.

The bullets was big enough, no wonder the man died with one single shot. She grimaced at the memory of that night, she had closed her eyes when the gun fired, but she was a hundred percent certain that she had aimed for the chest. At least it was instantaneous and he did not get to suffer. Her line of thinking suddenly switched upon that notion, Lyra soured at the audacity of having any pity for the dead man.

"Should've bled to death." Lyra muttered, as she aimed the gun to the ceiling, picturing the same man. Except this time he was on his knees begging for mercy, Lyra said nothing back, aimed the weapon on his face and gladly pulled the trigger.

click*

The hammer hit nothing for the cylinder had been emptied, but her mood swings took over once more. Realizing how much she now desired to had enjoyed his death, she dropped the gun and jumped straight out of bed. The fearful worries came back, had she truly gone fully mental? Was Loan right about her? Her nightmare had spoken of the need, but only now was she wrapping it around her head. Her heart was conflicted, she had no answers, none whatsoever. Carefully grabbing the revolver she placed it inside the drawer in the night stand, alongside all the cartridges she had removed.

She needed sleep, staying awake was only driving her over the edge. This last two days had been a traumatic inferno.

Taking some pills to help her rest, she took to bed and awaited for the sleep to take over. She wanted to escape this world and enter a more peaceful one inside her head. Unfortunately she kept forgetting just how psychologically fucked she currently was within her own mind.

Much different from the last one, she was no longer surrounded by darkness, no shadowy creatures hissing or growling at her, even better the voice wasn't present to torment her. But everything was grey, the sky, her surroundings and including herself, everything straight out of an old television broadcast before color was introduced.

The whole world was silent and empty, the streets she walked on showed no signs of life at all.

"Hello?" Lyra yelled out.

No response as she kept on walking and searching for anybody. The fear was slowly starting to get to her as the eerie atmosphere of the town was building up around her. It was becoming unbearable, the silence was too haunting for her ears to not hear.

A loud scream finally shattered the silence.

Lyra was shook to the core as the scream echoed across the air. It came from across her direction. She didn't know why, but she felt the urge to follow, a sick sensation had grown inside her. She recognized that scream, but she needed to see for herself to clarify. The sunlight around her quickly fell and the shadows of the night consumed the entire town of Royal Woods. She could hear the faded, distant chatter of many voices, all hateful and aggressive.

"Lyra, help us!"

"Lemy?" Lyra shouted and ran at full force towards the voice of her brother.

As she ran the shadows taunted her with unrecognizable words and sinister laughs. She ignored them all and only focused on reaching her brother. Running around a building and entering a new street another scream reached her ears.

"Get away from us!"

"Lupa!" Lyra was now running with fear as a large mass of darkness followed closely behind her, all light was consumed as Lyra ran ahead of it.

Then she saw him.

The boy she had loved and lost, slumped on the floor by the fence, a pool of blood exiting his wounds. Lyra screamed out his name as she reached him and kneeled to attend him. He was unresponsive as she shook him by the shoulder and repeatedly said his name. Her cries were loud and painful as he laid motionless in front of her. But just as she completely broke down again, his hand suddenly shot up and grabbed her arm.

"Ly-Lyra?" Lemy was breathing hard with a raspy voice.

"I'm here Lemy! I'm here!" Lyra's tears had turned to blood, a crimson streak on both cheeks.

"Lupa, Lu-Lupa...she ne-needs...you!" Lemy coughed out blood with a single leak out his mouth, "Please...save...her!"

Lyra didn't want to leave him, but Lupa was in danger. She heard her scream again. Looking ahead it was the same construction building where the crime scene had occurred, where Lemy and Lupa had been cornered. Wiping away the bloody tears and creating a crimson mask, she got up and with a broken heart let go of his hand. She needed to save her little sister, she needed to atone for her cruel behavior. She wasn't there for Lemy, now she needed to be there for Lupa.

Dashing up the stairs her sister's screams were getting louder and louder. It was driving Lyra over the edge, her fear had invoked her wrath. Reaching the third floor she heard Lupa's screams again. It had come from a locked room, same one where both Lemy and Lupa had been trapped in.

"Stop! Get off me!"

"Lupa!"

Lyra tried to yank open the door, but it was a fruitless attempt. While she aggressively kicked and crashed into the door, on the other side, Lupa screamed in fear and agony.

"Don't touch her! You motherfuckers, don't touch her!" Lyra screamed out in anger as more bloody tears exited her eyes.

"Lyra! Lyra please... AHHH!"

Lyra snapped and began punching the door viciously. She wouldn't stop swinging her fists, even as her knuckles ripped and teared away staining the door red. Both left and right fists collided on the solid door with tremendous raw strength as the teenager yelled out, "I'm going to kill you! I'm gonna fucking kill you all! I'm going to kill all fucking three of you!"

Her hands were a bloody mess, bruised and cut, yet the door would not open. Lyra fell to her knees, weeping in pain, her hands holding on the the door. She bashed her head on the door as she screamed in rage, a rage of hopelessness and uselessness.

"I'm going to kill you..."

The lock clicked on its own. Lyra immediately grabbed ahold of the door knob and swung it wide open as she dashed inside. What she found broke her. Falling to her knees, ignoring the pain of her injured hands and all the blood on her face, she lost her will. Lyra cursed to feel the same pain again as her soul left her body.

"It should have been you." Her cruel voice echoed around her, "It should have been you. It should have been you. It should have been you. It should have been you!"

Lyra bend over, her head touching the floor which contained a pool of blood as she tried to shut off the voice by covering up her ears, but she could still hear it perfectly. She was loosing herself, had already lost herself. This was what the bible referred to as eternal damnation.

"Blood for blood." The same demonic voice had returned.

Lyra lost the will to live.

"AHHHHH!!!"

She woke up, screaming again, and no Panther around to console her. Falling off her bed, she curled up on the floor as her sobbing continued. Even though it was a nightmare, to Lyra it meant everything. Lupa had died because of her, she had suffered because she had wished it, They were both dead because she failed to save them. She wanted the neverending pain to cease, but she now understood that this was her punishment. Lyra deserved to suffer.

She was going to suffer for as long as she live.

A twisted, yet depressing idea entered her emotionally fragile mind. Without missing a beat she got to her feet, grabbed her shoes and put them on. She was stoic and silent, a small frown showing as her hair covered up her eyes. She remained silent as the same idea repeated in her head. Pulling the drawer she grabbed the .357 magnum and all the bullets, before walking out.

Sometime later

It was 10:19 pm, Panther would be arriving home soon, but Lyra would no longer be there. Her clothes and personal belongings would remain, but she would no longer have any need or use for them. Having reached a small cliff at the edge of town she could see the night sky with the full moon bearing down on her. Any other time it would have been a blessing to witness such beauty, right now she only felt nothing, but crippling depression.

Below her was a small road that traveled around town and next to it a long trail, popular amongst joggers and bicyclists. From where she was standing there was at least twenty feet separating her from the ground. Enough to break many bones, but not necessarily kill you. No, she came prepared for this.

Pulling out the gun from her jacket, she slowly opened the cylinder and gently placed a single bullet on the chamber.

This was it. The end of her miserable life.

Doesn't matter who finds her body, she would already be down in hell, suffering a bit more. Her family would feel her loss, but unlike her, their pain would naturally heal, their sorrow would slowly go away. They would be so much better without her, without the heartless monster ruining their beautiful lives. As for her parents, Luna could follow suite after she learns of her suicide, Lyra could care less, but she better be in a different section of hell and not right next to her when she does it as well. Lincoln would be devastated beyond reason, but unlike Lyra and Luna, he would still have a reason to live, eight of them to be exact and he loved them all equally.

She pulled out a folded up rag with her free hand and with the shine of the moonlight it was revealed to be Lemy's bandana, the one item she wanted to keep with her and hopefully be buried with too. Placing the fabric to her lower face she inhaled it's aroma, one last reminder of his beloved scent.

A car passed by, but the driver most likely did not notice her overlooking on the cliff side. Placing his bandana away her heart began to beat erratically, it was now or never.

Closing the cylinder back in place, she eyed her stolen weapon. Tears forming, her last ones ever, her entire body shook uncontrollably as her conscious prepared for the end. Her breaths now heavy, she grabbed the .357 with both hands to control her quivering and tucked it under her chin.

The cold steel of the barrel touched her skin and her fear grew, the fear of death was real. But she had made peace with this pathetic existence she was living. Any second now and her brains would explode out off her skull and her body fall down to the ground below. Food for the animals until it was found. She was sick of living, she wanted it to end; the suffering, the nightmares and her abusive treatment of her beloved family.

Searching for any last words, she could only come up with this simple declaration.

"I love you."

She gently pulled on the trigger and her life immediately flashed before her eyes.

Every memory old and new sped around her while at the same time slowing down enough for her to recognize. Memories with her mother, father, sisters and brother. All beautiful, all cheerful, she could sense the joy as each one passed by. Her mother teaching her how to play the guitar, her father giving her swimming lessons, all her sisters hugging and singing her happy birthdays and lastly her and Lemy finally together, full of love and kissing each other.

Her fear was gone, but her sorrow remained. She wasn't strong enough before and neither she was right now.

She let go of the trigger before it fired off and collapsed to her knees. Crying her heart out, she felt overwhelmed by beautiful paradise she would leave behind. Still on her knees, she attempted for a second time to pull the trigger, but her conviction had softened for she struggled more to complete the deed.

She pushed away the memories, focusing only on her pain and self loathing. If she was going to kill herself she needed a strong reason to do so. Lemy's body came into mind, his bloody corpse haunted her psyche. She thought about the nightmare she had just had, how she failed to protect Lupa from the same animals that claimed his life. The same individuals that took everything from her and essentially ruined her life.

Same sinners that were still alive.

Her sadness was gone, in it's place, her wrath had taken center stage.

They were still out there, bringing harm to others as they had done to her family and most especially herself. They are the main cause of her misery and were out there enjoying life while her's fell apart. Was she really going to end her life knowing that they would go unpunished? Knowing that they would get away with it? They were the bane of her damnation and now she wanted nothing more than to be the one to send them personally to hell.

Putting the gun down she no longer had any desires to visit Lucifer's domain. A new proposition came to be, a new objective had been born.

Closing her eyes and relaxing her mind, she breath in fresh air as her new ideology cemented itself, casting away all doubt and restrictions that had clouded her consciousness before. Staring at the town of Royal Woods in front of her she noticed a random event that got her blood boiling. She marched down the cliff to confront it.

Down below

A simple late night jog had turned into a unexpected mugging. The young jogger had been enjoying the pleasant night when a man appeared from her side and held a sharp blade her to side.

"Phone, wallet and those earphones lady!"

Petrified with fear it took her a slight second to react, but the pointed blade brought her back to reality as it cut into her. She was pushed towards a utility pole as the man gave out the same command to her, "I'm not going ask twice damn it!"

She slowly reached for her wallet, which is what he thought, but I'm actually it was a pepper spray she kept for safety purposes. Not wanted to get gutted she hurried up and just as she was about to spray his face, a loud shot was heard right next to them both and the side of his face exploded with a gush of blood flying out.

"Ah!" She yelled out in shock, sprinkles of blood on her face and shirt.

Disoriented by the sudden blast which she recognized as a gunshot, she looked away from her downed assailant and up to see a person holding a revolver in hand. Arm still extended from were she had been holding it against his head. She couldn't make up a face for a hoodie kept the person's face hidden and they were in between street lamps to get a clear view too. Still frightened she tried her best to form a sentence to her savior.

"T-Thank-Ahh!" She was cut short as the person in front of her began firing at the dead mugger.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The jogger ran for her life not looking back. The body of the man now had four gunshots, one on the skull and three on his back. Calm and collected she lowered the gun down and stared at the corpse in disgust. Lifting her head a bit, Lyra's scornful eyes burned holes into the body of this dead sinner. Unlike the first time, she felt nothing horrendous, no fear, no remorse, no sympathy.

All she could feel at that very moment was pure hatred.

The same words kept on repeating over and over again on her head and now she was ready to carry them through.

"Kill them all."

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey, if you stay

I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

My costal town got hit by a hurricane this weekend, didn't really have the luxury to focus on writing.