A/N - This chapter is ridiculously long, i'm so sorry. I was going to cut it in half, but there was no real good place to split it, and I feel bad for leaving so many days between updates.

Next ones won't be as long... It's just tough to tell a complex tale in 1k chapters :')

Also, there's a lot of foreshadowing that's been taking place, so I hope you're paying attention ;) AND ALSO - thank you for your support and reviews! I really appreciate it.

Take care xx

(ps - i too am going through serious kristanna withdrawl. this story ended up being way more Anna-centric than i'd originally planned, but that's aight; i'll be sure to add some 10/10 KA content in later chapters)

We go way back in time

The world was white; colourless. A blanket of snow covered the ground; the trees were weighed down. The clouds in the sky were thick and puffy, blocking the sun.

Where is the light?

She felt blind. Her eyes burned. She held her hands out in front of her, trying to focus on her palms. Her skin was a lifeless white; frost covered her fingers.

Are we meant to go down again?

A light breeze blew her hair over her shoulder, just barely into her line of sight. It was white. Was she shivering?

She couldn't move. Her legs felt tingly; her feet were numb. There was nothing around; no one. It was a ghost town.

She didn't feel lonely. She somehow knew in her core that she was about to die, but that was okay. She closed her eyes.

"Anna."

Her eyes snapped open. It took her a moment to come to her senses, and when she did, she was a bit flustered. She was standing in the middle of a relatively-crowded ballroom, wine-glass in hand, noblemen staring at her with concern and mild offence. She'd zoned out mid-conversation. Kristoff brought her back as casually as possible, but that didn't save them from the awkwardness.

"My apologies," the queen said simply. "I haven't been sleeping too well lately."

"No worries, Your Grace," one man replied. "We thank you for your time, and wish you the best."

She nodded once before they headed off. Kristoff didn't mind; he wasn't particularly social anyways. He was, however, worried about his fiancé. He turned to her. "I thought you'd said the daydreams had stopped."

They linked arms and walked out of the crowds. "I said the nightmares stopped," she corrected. "And it's not happening as often as it used to."

"But it's still happening," he observed. She nodded. He sighed; "should we do something?"

"No," she said quickly, surely. She laughed a little, "no, of course not. I'll work on it. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

He shook his head; "impossible."

They'd smiled together as they were approached by Eira and Astrid, both dressed appropriately for a ball. Anna greeted them pleasantly. "Glad you're still here!"

"So are we!" Astrid chimed in excitedly. Her mother shushed her and she settled. "We're honoured, Your Grace," Eira replied politely.

Anna shrugged her off. "We're all friends here."

Kristoff hesitated a bit before he spoke, but managed to find the right tone; "with the utmost respect; do you worry that your women will miss you?"

Eira shook her head. "We are exactly where we're meant to be, and if we shall ever return, we shall be greeted with open arms. If not, they will be happy that we've found our place."

Anna smiled. "Well, you're always welcome here. We love having the company."

Kristoff could honestly agree. He wasn't typically fond of "friend groups" and didn't like having to "share" Anna, respectfully, but he was quite fond of Eira. Even her kid wasn't annoying somehow. Neither were intrusive. And, both had saved Anna. That right there was more than enough for him to worship them. "We've certainly got the space," he agreed.

She nodded, and Eira smiled; "we thank you immensely for your hospitality. You'll make a lovely King, I'm sure."

He wanted to argue- that isn't how it works- but refrained from doing so. "Thank you. I do my best."

Their voices faded, and Anna found herself staring blankly at Eira. The mother was speaking to Kristoff, but the queen couldn't hear the words. Her expression faded completely. Only Astrid seemed to notice, but said nothing. Instead, she stared with curiosity.

Lightning strikes.

She closed her eyes, counted to ten, and then slowly opened them. It was storming; thunder crashed above her head. If she wasn't paralysed, she would've screamed like a child and hidden. The flash nearly blinded her; she felt it burn in her brain.

Wisdom cries.

She was in an ancient forest; the trees were massive; the trunks larger than any she'd ever seen before. She looked down at the palm of her hands again. They were still a lifeless white, but were now covered in mud and blood. Her knuckles were bleeding, and she was covered in lacerations, as if she'd been clawing at a blackberry bush. It stung, but the rain made it feel better.

It's an emergency.

She looked around, though the rain left her just as blind as the snow did. She heard her stomach rumble; only then was she made aware of how hungry she was. She was scared when she put her hand on her core and was able to feel her ribs for detail. She was starved.

Emergency.

She felt like she was about to faint. Her vision was tunnelling and she could feel herself gently swaying back and forth. Her thoughts began to fade. She was falling. She was falling.

"Whoa!"

Eira quickly lunged for her, managing to catch her before she fell completely as Kristoff was only able to grab her arm. "Anna!"

She opened her eyes, quickly squinting in response to the light of the ballroom. Eira and Kristoff gently lowered her to the floor, letting her sit. They crouched down by her. "Are you all right?!"

She nodded, but Kristoff especially wasn't convinced. He glanced around at the crowd; they'd unfortunately caught people's attention. "We should take her upstairs," he said quietly to Eira. She agreed.

The two helped the monarch to her feet and guided her carefully out of the room. Astrid followed quickly.

"I'm fine," she uttered, dazed. "I just got tired."

"You're not fine," Kristoff replied, entirely unconvinced. "This isn't safe. Just cooperate with us, okay?"

She nodded, helpless. They carried her upstairs to her bed chambers, and the kid made sure to close the door behind them. They put Anna on her bed, laying her flat on her back. Eira put the back of her hand on the redhead's forehead; "she doesn't feel warm."

"She gets these… daydreams, we call them," Kristoff explained. He undid the front of the top layer of her dress, opening it. He then unlaced her dress and opened it to her undershirt, giving her chest access to cool air and no restrictions to help her breathe. "She's fainted before. Hit her head- she stopped breathing the other night. It gets really bad sometimes."

Eira eyed her over with concern. "You should undress her." She picked Astrid up and carried her to the other side of the room, sitting her on a chair by the fireplace. The kid was worried; "is she going to be okay?"

"Of course," she said surely. "She's a warrior, remember?"

Astrid nodded, and Eira handed her a book that was resting on a nearby coffee table. "Here. Read this. Let the grownups worry about health, okay?" She gave her a kiss on the forehead, then made her way back over to the bed.

Kristoff had taken Anna's dress, leaving her in her undershirt and pants. "She's warm."

Eira nodded. "She'll be all right. Positive energy in the room will help her heal faster. Let these daydreams playout, and all will be well."

He was surprised by how calm she was, but knew that panicking got them nowhere. He instead nodded, took a breath, then sat on the edge of the bed, taking Anna's little hand into his own. "Do you feel all right?"

She nodded lightly, though was obviously lying. She was pale; sweaty. Her eyes looked tired and distant. "I can hear something."

"What can you hear?"

Breathing. She could hear breathing. As if someone was lying on either side of her, breathing heavily into her ears. But she had no idea, in that moment, how to explain that. "Air."

The older adults exchanged a look of confusion. "Air?" Eira mouthed silently.

"Wind?" he questioned.

Anna shook her head. She exhaled heavily, and he caught on; "breathing. You can hear breathing? Your own breathing?"

She shook her head again. "Blood. There's blood."

His confusion became more that of concern. "What do you mean?"

She didn't reply. She was staring right at him, but couldn't see him anymore. He was gone. Their bedroom was gone. Where was she?

It took almost all her energy to move her head. She was outside, lying on a bed of grass.

Conscious all night.

She was able to lift her hands to look at her palms. She was bruised to the point that she couldn't tell how pale her skin was. She was black and purple; the blood still flowing. Her wounds were larger now. Was her arm broken?

No one's surprised.

She looked slightly to her left. She stared for a moment before her brain registered the rockcliff that went seemingly straight up. Had she fallen?

It's an emergency.

Her head hurt. It was a pain she'd remembered feeling before. It felt like her skull was broken. She put her hand by her head, and nearly lost her breath when she felt the pool of blood. She looked at her hand, and the blood dripped from her fingers onto her face. She wanted to scream, but she could barely breathe. It felt like someone had wrapped a band around her chest and was pulling it tight.

We go down

"I can't breathe."

"You're breathing," he said gently, putting his hand over her heart. Her voice was barely a whisper. He would've been more concerned by her words, but he watched her chest go up and down at a healthy pace. She was breathing fine. "Where are you right now?"

"Can you see me?" Her mouth felt dry. She needed water. Her throat hurt. Had she been screaming?

"I can see you," he replied, tightening his grip on her hand. "Remember that you're safe. You're at home. You're okay. You're just dreaming."

It's an emergency.

A few rocks bounced by her head, and she winced. The pain in her stomach returned; she needed to eat. Her legs felt restricted; she was wearing tight pants. That was unusual. She was wet; had she wet herself? "I fell, I think. I need help."

"You're safe," he assured her, gently tucking her hair behind her ear. "You're all right."

She felt embarrassed; her cheeks were flushed. "I think I peed. I need new clothes."

"You may have spilled some wine," he suggested. "Doesn't matter either way. You're okay where you are."

She felt like she was going to vomit. Her stomach was in a knot; was she already gagging?

No. It was too weak. Her stomach was probably none existent by this point, it was so empty. She could feel her arm draped across her core. The bones rubbed against bones. It was uncomfortable.

A woman's voice chimed it. She looked more to the right, and could barely make out the figure of a person looming over her; "sweet little thing. How did you end up like this?"

She replied to her as best she could, but could barely hear her own voice; "I need help. My head…"

"I see. We'll get you cleaned up."

She closed her eyes. Her instincts told her the woman got closer to her. As she felt hands on her body, she then felt nothing at all. Everything was black; silent. All she could hear was the sound of her own breathing.

"Are you there?"

Her eyes slowly fluttered open. She was relieved to see her fiancé staring back at her. It was finally over. She nodded. "I'm here."

He squeezed her hand again. "Good. Do you feel better?"

She nodded again. "But also no," she said quietly. "I don't understand this."

He gave her a look of empathy. "I don't either."

Eira helped her sit up, keeping her hand on her back for support. Anna got comfy, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I'm sorry."

They both seemed to have the same response. "Why?"

"I wish this would stop," she said quietly. "It's so inconvenient for you."

"Oh, darling," Eira chuckled. She shook her head and walked off. "I'll get you some clean clothes."

Kristoff gave her a kiss on her head; "are you sure you feel okay?"

She nodded. "I feel better. Physically, I mean." She took a couple of deeper breaths, then looked around the room to better take in her surroundings. It was still daylight. She was in her bedroom. Astrid was curled up by the fire, book in her arms. Anna smiled at the sight. I used to sleep like that.

The pleasantries didn't last long. Her ears started ringing. It was irritating at first, and then it was overwhelming. She quickly threw her hands over her ears, instantly catching Kristoff's concern. "Anna?"

She lowered her head between her knees, whimpering. It felt like her head was going to explode. She couldn't hear them. It was too loud. She felt Kristoff grab her; she could feel the concern seeping through his grip. She knew he was speaking, but she heard nothing. She lifted her head slightly, staring ahead with narrow eyes, hands still trying to protect her ears.

There was a dark-haired woman standing about ten feet in front of her. Her hands were out and she was chanting something. It was the source of Anna's pain. She yelled at the woman; "stop!"

It only got louder. She curled inwards again, nearly achieving a foetal position. She yelled in distress, fingernails digging into her scalp. "Make it stop!"

In response to a sudden, piercing pain in her gut, she grabbed at her stomach, screaming as she dug into her skin. "STOP!"

"ANNA!"

She was suddenly and almost violently flung backwards. She desperately tried to grab onto something as she felt like she was falling a hundred feet, but she landed on her bed, heading hitting her pillow. Kristoff was quickly on top of her, pinning her hands by her head. Only then did she realise she was struggling- and suddenly in very real pain. "What are you doing?!" he exclaimed, a bit louder than he intended. They stared at each other with wide eyes; the room falling silent.

The sound of Astrid's gentle cries was the only thing that could be heard. Eira was cuddling her, trying to comfort her.

Anna wiggled her fingers, though her wrists were pinned firmly against the pillow. She could feel the blood on her fingers. "What did I do?" Did she even want to know?

He was speechless. "You…" It was difficult for him to find his words. He had to process what he'd seen before he could tell her. "You hurt yourself." A simple fact. It would take longer for his brain to gather the details.

"There was a woman," she said quietly, voice strained. "She was hurting me."

"You were hurting you," he replied. His voice was breathy; full of shock. "You hurt yourself."

She tightened her stomach muscles, and instantly regretted it. She could feel the burning; the wetness of hot blood. Oh my god. "Am I- is it bad?" she was worried now, almost panicked.

He hesitated for a moment, and very slowly let her go as he sat himself up. He lifted her shirt to just under her bust, revealing her stomach. She sat up a bit, too, to get a look. They exchanged a look of horror at the damage. She needed first aid.

"Why would- what- this isn't-" he had no words. He turned to her, pressing against her shoulders to force her to lie down. "Don't move, okay? Just stay right here."

"I'm not crazy," she pleaded desperately. "I'm not crazy."

"I know, baby," he rubbed his hand over her hair. "I know. It's okay. We'll get you cleaned up."

She didn't resist. She stayed still, letting her tears silently flow as he stumbled off towards the washroom to get first aid supplies. It burned badly; she didn't want to look again. Why? Why would you do this to me? What was that?!

We go running, way back in time.

She relaxed in an instant, breath fleeing her lungs in a gentle breath. "Kristoff."

It took a second, but he emerged from the other room, approaching with a wet cloth. "Are you okay?"

"I need to go outside," she said quietly. "I need you to take me somewhere. I know who's calling me."

"Nobody's calling you, Anna," he replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. He placed the warm cloth flat over her wounds. She hissed at the pain, but didn't fight. "You've gotta rest right now."

"Please." She looked at him, pleading. "Just this once. Take me where I need to go."

He had to chuckle a little. "Just this once?" he echoed, teasing a little. "As if I've never taken you where you needed to go before?"

She had to smile. I can always count on you to lighten the mood. "Okay, just this one last time."

He looked at Eira, who was rocking a now-sleeping Astrid. He'd begun to ask if she was okay, but the mother cut him off with a silent hand. "Don't worry about her. Do what you need to do."

He looked back to Anna, who was now hopeful. "Please."

He hesitated for another long moment. She'd survived worse. "Is it far?"

"A little." Honesty. They'd agreed to be honest.

He sighed lightly. "All right. But you're not walking."

She was okay with that. She felt a bit tired anyways. He'd scooped her up and carried her out of the castle, through the kingdom, and into the woods. They ignored the overly concerned looks they received from strangers as he carried the blood-covered queen through the streets as if nothing was wrong. Sven joined them on the journey, prepared to take them home.

They'd walked for twenty minutes. Then, Anna led them to a river. She'd told them tales from her childhood; she and Elsa used to come here and throw stones. They'd dream of their futures, play games, share jokes… Memories that Anna had no idea would be so important. To lose her best friend twice. It was something she'd never conceived happening in her life. And yet, here she was. Returning to this river without her sister.

"Why are we here?" Kristoff asked, confused. He looked around. There was nothing that he could see. Just a river, in a forest, way too far out of town for two little kids to be playing around unattended. "Your parents really just let you come here alone?"

"They trusted us."

"Huh." He put her down, sitting her against a tree. "With respect-"

"Almost every time you say with respect, you say something disrespectful," she scolded lightly.

He stared dully at her for a moment before continuing. "I'm just saying: the more I learn about your parents and their parenting tactics, the more I understand why you had no fear of strangers."

She hit his arm. "Excuse you. My parents were wonderful."

He wasn't going to point out how much disdain she'd shown towards her parents during the time they'd spent together. Humour was acceptable; potentially-harmful teasing was not. "As wonderful as this river?"

It was beautiful, if nothing else. "I've always felt a calling to this spot," she explained quietly. "We used to come here a lot. Sometimes our parents would actually accompany us," she nagged. "But mostly," she got softer again, "it was just Elsa and I. She was a bit older, and was very responsible, so I guess they trusted her to make sure I didn't die."

"Again, more irony." He mentally punched himself, grimacing, tightly shutting his eyes. He didn't want to see her response. Inappropriate. "I have no idea why I said that. I'm so sorry."

"You're such an idiot," she said playfully. She nudged him, and he looked at her- she wasn't bothered at all. "Brain to mouth is a bit slow there, huh? Think. Then speak. Try it?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry. Insensitive."

She shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Anyway," she continued, "she used to tell me so many stories. I'd only ever dreamed about fairytales, but she was so wise. I was always fascinated by her brain. She was young, and yet… old?"

"And old soul," he understood.

She nodded, smiling memoriously. "Truly. I wish we'd grown up together- I wished she'd taught me everything. Gods, she would've been the best teacher."

He had to smile, too, expression full of warmth. "She did love to be boss, didn't she?" It was teasing, but it was harmless. She laughed a little; "of course! What else are big sisters for?"

He put an arm around her, holding her close. This was a good conversation. They were at a good place. The clouds had cleared finally. They were going to be okay. They sat pleasantly in each other's presence.

"There's so much I want to ask her," she said quietly. "Especially now. All this spirit stuff- all this history. It's right up her alley. I wish I knew what it all meant. What my purpose truly is. I mean, Eira seemed to know what she was talking about, but it seemed a bit big and dramatic."

"You think she'd over-exaggerate?" He wasn't really asking; more so prompting her to keep thinking.

She shook her head. "I don't doubt her words," she explained. "I guess I just have a tough time picturing me as the hero? Or the important one? I'm just… Anna. Just Anna. Nothing special."

He had to disagree. "Oh… Well, I think Anna is pretty damn special. I'd definitely classify her as a hero. And she is more important than she'll ever know."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Really."

She rested his head on his shoulder; and he rested his chin on her head. Sven had sat closer to the water; the trio enjoying the sound of the current.

Her feeling of peace and content seemed to be sucked out of her in an instant, and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She sat upright, pressing her hand over her mouth. "What's wrong?" he was quick to ask, keeping an arm around her.

She shook her head, unable to speak. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing. She hated being sick; she'd go through ridiculous causes to avoid it. He knew, so he said nothing, and gently rubbed circles on her back.

We go down.

She opened her eyes and looked down the riverbank. Her hand slowly fell from her mouth and she took a shaky breath of fresh air. She leaned forward to get a better look. Kristoff looked as well. There didn't seem to be anything.

And then in an instant so quick he couldn't process it, Anna had launched herself to her feet as she bolted off, a single word escaping her lungs:

"ELSA!"

A/N - It's never that easy.

Things are gonna get more twisted from here (not "dark" twisted, but different perspectives/timelines, so be prepared!) and here's your usual reminder that this is not 100% canon, but it's also not quite AU. Just please don't "fact check" me, cuz I know what I'm doing haha

Now's the time to state your theories on Eira, too! I'm excited to share a bit more of her backstory in upcoming chapters.

Bonus: There is a lyric/song cameo in almost every chapter. It's most obvious in this one... Could be a fun lil game if you wanna try and detect the songs!