Flower of Gold

The rain continued throughout the night and the next morning brought grey skies. Erik stayed up all night by Christine's side. He briefly fell asleep as he sat in a chair, still holding her hand. Then, for a moment, he stirred as he felt small fingers move. Daring to hope, he sat on the edge of the bed, closer to her side, and kept his gaze on her. Slowly, she was showing signs of wakefulness. He gently touched her temple. "Christine?...can you hear me, sweetheart?"

Her breathing deepened and she let out a faint gasp and moan. Her eyes slowly opened to find her husband looking down on her. He looked so tired but yet so relieved as tears filled his eyes.

"Christine…" he whispered with relief. Holding back tears, he gave a small relieved sigh and gently kissed her lips. "Oh, my love, I…I thought I lost you," he whispered, lovingly caressing her cheek.

"Where…did I go?" she whispered confused. He chuckled a little as she tried to make sense of her situation. "Nowhere, my little canary. You were just asleep for a while. You are going to be a little weak for some time. You had such a difficult labor. But don't worry, the child is fine."

"Our baby…what did we have?" she asked.

"A daughter. And from what I saw of her, she is beautiful." he said, proudly. He looked down at his wife with a loving expression. "I'm proud of you, my darling. God, how I'm proud of you."

"Oh, Erik…" she sighed happily at the news. "W-where is she?"

"The midwife is taking care of her. You'll see her soon. For now, you must rest. Here, the doctor told me to have you take this as soon as you woke up. It will help you feel better." He poured some herbal tea into a small cup and gently lifted her head up to drink. When she did, he laid her back down on the bed. "There now. Just rest a bit. Do you feel all right?"

"Yes, a little better now," whispered Christine. She heard a small yap from the bottom of the bed as Kit perched up to see Christine, wagging her tail. "My Kit…" she cooed, nuzzling her head.

"She was quite worried about you too," said Erik.

"Please, Erik, let me see our daughter. I long to hold her," she said softly.

"Are you sure? Do you feel strong enough?"

She tried to sit up a little in bed. "Yes. Suddenly, I feel quite renewed. I have enough strength to hold our baby. Let me see her. Please?"

"Of course." In the hallway, he called for the nurse to come in with the baby. She placed her into Christine's arms and left them for privacy. She held her close to her as the baby slowly opened her eyes looking up at her mother and father. "Oh, Erik…just look at her. We have a daughter," she sighed. "Isn't she beautiful? Look, she even has your eyes."

Erik looked down at the baby and saw that she did indeed have his amber eyes. "Indeed she does," whispered Erik, in amazement.

"And she is healthy, as you wanted," said Christine.

"For that I am glad," said Erik. The baby began to cry, which startled Erik. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Oh, don't worry, dearest. I'm sure she is hungry. I just need to feed her," said Christine. She unbuttoned her nightdress and held the baby to her breast. As she said, the baby readily drank milk. "Yes, that was all she wanted." After the baby was fed, Christine held her as she was starting to grow tired again. Soon she fell asleep in Christine's arms."Would you like to hold her?"

"Me? But I've never held a baby before, and she is so small. What if she wakes up? What if I drop her? Or worse, what if I frighten her?" he stammered.

"It's all right. Just hold her like this. Rest her head in the crook of your arm and hold her with you other arm." She gently placed their daughter in her father's arms. At first, Erik felt rigid and slightly confused as to what to do. Fatherhood was so new to him. He sat still as a statue, taking great care not to wake her. "I think this will take getting used to for me," he said. "Perhaps I may become better accustomed to holding her if I practice. Though for now I feel more piece of mind when she's safe in your arms or in her bed."

"Yes, just practice holding her more. I'm sure when you do, you'll never want to let her out of your arms."

Walking very slowly, Erik gently put her back in the bassinet. He then walked back to Christine. Sighing, he sat down at her side, reached down and caressed her face. Erik hummed softly to Christine as her eyes felt heavy. As she fell asleep, he quietly stood up and walked back to the bassinet where the baby slept.

Suddenly, the baby stirred from her sleep and looked as though she were about to cry again. Not wanting to wake Christine, Erik gently lifted his tiny daughter and held her in his arms. Gently, he swayed her back and forth and hummed softly to her as well. Soon, she grew content with the sound of his voice and the warmth of his arms. In that moment, Erik took a very long look at his daughter. He couldn't believe how he helped create something so beautiful. Then the baby sleepily opened her eyes and just simply looked at him. Erik marveled at her. For the first time in his life, he found another love growing inside his heart. A different love than what he felt for Christine. This love wasn't something he himself never had as a child. The love of a father.

The baby sleepily closed her eyes again, though Erik didn't want to put her back in the bassinet right away. Instead, he simply held her close and lovingly watched her sleep. He sadly thought about how he was so adamant over not wanting a child. How he was sure that it would inherit his face and never no love. He knew, deep down in his heart, he really did want a child as much as he wanted a wife and home like other men. As he looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms, he carefully placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I'm so sorry…" he whispered softly.

A few days had passed, and Christine was beginning to recover more and more each day. She embraced her role of motherhood with such love. Erik was also easing into his role of fatherhood gradually as days passed. When the garden finally bloomed the first flowers of Spring, Christine would lay out on a wicker chaise and hold the baby while taking in the fresh air. One late afternoon, as she sat under a tree holding the baby, Erik walked to them and sat on the chair by Christine's feet. "How are you today, my darling?"

"I'm just fine. Being out in the garden helps me grow stronger every day," said Christine. Suddenly, something occurred to her. "Oh my! Erik, we still don't even have a name for her and she's only four days old. We need to choose a name for her."

In deep thought, Erik looked at the flower garden and walked over to pick a flower. As he walked back to Christine, he gave her a beautiful bright yellow flower. She closely looked at the flower. "A marigold?"

"Why don't we name her Marigold?"

"You want to name her after the flower?"

"Don't you like the name?" said Erik, puzzled.

"Of course, I do like it. Although, don't you think the name suits blonde girls more so than brunettes?"

"Why, nonsense." Erik said, reaching for the baby and holding her. "I believe that she is as bright and beautiful as the golden blossom itself." He looked down at the baby as she sleepily opened her eyes to look up at him.

Don't you agree, my bright little one?" he cooed as he gently caressed the baby's cheek. He chuckled softly as she looked up at him curiously. "Yes, indeed. It's such a pretty name for a pretty little girl like you."

"Yes," agreed Christine. "All right, her name shall be Marigold Angeline Renaud." They looked down smiling at her as she looked up at her parents.

That evening, as Christine was in the nursery, she was about to go downstairs to fetch Marigold to put in her cradle for the night. Then, she heard the baby crying downstairs. She made her way downstairs and as she was about to enter the sitting room, she found Erik silhouetted by the glow of the fireplace as he stood by the bassinet. He carefully lifted her from her bed and held her gently held her in his arms as her crying began to subside when she settled in his arms. Marigold looked up at him with curious eyes. Erik smiled and sat down on the settee, while holding her.

Christine beamed as she watched this picturesque moment between her husband and daughter. Though her heart ached for her own father, she loved how much Erik was learning to love their daughter. He gently traced his finger over cheek and affectionately touched her nose. Marigold smiled up at him and coo, which made his heart leap.

"Well, look at you. You're smiling at me," cooed Erik, as the baby giggled.

Christine walked over to Erik as he held the smiling baby. "She loves you already."

"I hope she does," he murmured.

Christine looked at him, perplexed. "Why wouldn't she?"

"I just think of the day when she may eventually see my face…how she may react. I can't bear the thought of her being frightened of me," he said, forlornly.

"I know she will love you regardless. You are her father, after all. But it is you for to decide if or when you want her to see your face."

"It's strange how I thought I could only ever give my love to you and no other," said Erik. Then, he looked down at Marigold. "But, when I first looked at her, I felt another kind of love. Something I never felt before," he said softly.

"Fatherly love," added Christine. "It's very plain to see."

"Is it really? I never knew love from my parents and I certainly never even imagined being a father myself. The truth is I really did want a child. I was just so afraid that she would be hated, live in fear all her life and never be loved. I could never wish that upon her."

Christine sat next to Erik and put her hand on his shoulder. "I understand, dearest. We still would have loved her regardless. But either way, I'm glad she is healthy."

Erik looked down proudly at his daughter. "She is very beautiful, isn't she? And she smiles whenever she sees me," he whispered sweetly. "Any father would be lucky to have such a daughter and yet, I just can't believe this angel is mine."

Christine smiled. "And do you love her?"

He traced his finger gently around his daughter's little face. "I do love her. I love her with all my heart," he said. "If I never believed in miracles before, I have every reason to now. How was it ever possible for a monster like me to father an angel such as her? Perhaps she will be the better part of me."

"You are not a monster, Erik. I love you just as you are, and so will Marigold."

Erik smiled at her. "You are so kind, my dearest wife. Sometimes, I still cannot fathom it but it is a comfort to finally have those who love me. I thought I wasn't meant for such things, but it seems that life has at last been kind to me, now that I have you and our little one here."