Paul's POV

Nell coughing out blood was the only thing I had on my mind since our failed attempt to attack the Cullens.

I would go to sleep and dream of blood. It was everywhere and I could hear her choking on it. I could hear her dying.

I would go on a patrol and I could see the guys thinking of it. It was everywhere. She was haunting me. Haunting us all.

No wonder that Embry was thinking about it too. Shit was getting crazy since the Clearwater siblings and baby alpha decided to create a pack of their own to protect the Cullen family. We didn't have enough people and the kids needed a break after Nell freaked them out. I was impressed by how far she'd gotten with her ability. She was fully in control of it now. Too bad we were on the recieving end of it all. What-fucking-ever. It meant I was stuck with Call. Not that I minded it. Her mostly kept quiet and did what he was supposed to do while trying not to sulk about having to stand against his best friend.

He wasn't the only one. Seeing Nell there and knowing that now she was an enemy did things to me. I don't fucking now what I'm doing anymore. Since meeting her and actually getting to know her I was more at peace with everything and everyone but now the anger was back in full force. I was once again alone. I had no true friends that wanted to be my friends. the pack brothers had to put up with me but there was no one that would actually hit me up and be all like let's hang out. At home, my dad kept avoiding me because he knew I'd want to know why he went to visit Nell.

I didn't belong anywhere and it only became clearer without Nell. When she was here it was a natural thing to have her near me. I was a better version of myself around her. I was the Paul that was supposed to be with her. Instead, now, I was stuck with the Paul that was. An annoying asshole that everybody hates. The future sure looked fucking promising to me.

''It's gonna be fine, Lahote.'' – sure is. Embry didn't sound very convinced of the thing he said.

''Sure thing.'' – when? Because it my turn was always skipped.

''I guess when Bella gives birth…'' – dies. She was gonna die and take all of them with her. It drove me up the fucking wall. We were after all going to fight a war over some girl falling in love with someone she had no business falling in love with. Fucking splendid.

The fact that Nell was going to die, again, because of Jake's little love triangle was just…fucking fuck me. Right? Why the fuck did we even get ourselves into this? why should I care about the people that hate me? Why should I protect them? Why did I still fucking care about all of them? Why couldn't I leave like they all left me?

''Not all.'' – thanks for the input Call. Give me an example. Oh, and by the way, here's a hint: my dad doesn't fucking count since he has a court order which makes him take care of me. Call snorted. Wow. Like he was the one to talk. – ''Chill. Lahote. I wasn't talking about Noah. Nell never left. You're just having a disagreement.''

''Is that what you would call this? Are you fucking with me right now, Call? So why are you angry at Monica then? Are you two having a disagreement?''

''Relax with the sarcasm there. I am mad. Fucking sure I am, but…I can get it. Their reasons. I can understand them.''

I was about to start another monologue about how fucking wrong he is but I heard loud howling. Some of the guys were pissed but it was mostly surprise.

''Nellie's coming.'' – I heard Jared and I froze. Why the fuck would she come? Was she crazy? Were the bloodsuckers crazy? How could they let her come here when they knew what the situation was like? What was going on?

''Let's go, Paul. Come on.'' – Call was on it in a second. He took off and I went after him as soon as I could move. I was half afraid of what I would do i fit came to a fight. Would the guys attack her? God I hoped not.

I phased right behind Emily's house. By the time I came out of the woods I could feel Nell's scent. It was different. And then it hit me again. I could feel myself being filled with endless tenderness when I heard her heart beating. It was as slow and quiet as the other night but it was there. So delicate and impossible and yet it happened. Maybe there was still a chance for peace between us. Just maybe. If she could have her heart beat again…maybe we could too…

''There you are!'' – I heard Nell shout when she noticed me walking out of the woods. Embry and Jared were already there. Monica was leaning on Nell's car. She seemed like she was having fun. There was a smile on her face as she saw Nell power walk towards me. What was this about? I was about to scream at them to fucking leave before Nell gets herself killed but I couldn't. I didn't want her to leave.

''Easy there, Nell.'' – Jared stood in front of me putting his arms up to stop Nell from walking over. She slapped his hands away.

''I'm done. Don't test me, Jared.'' – I've never heard her speak in that voice. It made me stop in my tracks. Something happened and Nell was not happy. Taking a look at Monica I could guess what it was. Nell found out about my little trips to Port Angeles. I was an asshole after all. Being all fucking angry about her not saying anything about Bella while I kept my mouth shut about what Monica was doing. Of course she would flip at me. Nell wanted to protect Monica at all costs.

''Let her pass.'' – I said from behind Jared. He turned around with a shrug and stepped aside allowing Nell to pass. Whatever it was I wanted to get it over as soon as possible. She needed to get out of here before other found out she came. I knew I'd get a nice little speech but I didn't care.

''You!'' . Nell screamed at me. – ''You've got a lot of nerve calling me out on not saying anything about Bella when you yourself are keeping your mouth shut about the little chasing after my killer that you've been doing with Monica.'' – Monica gasped as she jumped away from the car. She obviously didn't know that Nell knew about our plan. She was as surprised as I was but I did see it coming as soon as I saw how agitated Nell was.

''It's different.'' – it was. Whatever Bella was carrying inside herself was a danger to all of us. We didn't know how out of the control the spawn of a vampire would be. Monica's killer was a human. It was easier to get that under control.

''Is it? Is it?!'' – Nell wasn't having it. She was furious. – ''SO it's okay for me to be the monster, is that what you're saying? I'm protecting the demon or whatever you guys think that Bella will give birth to, so I'm a monster? I'm a threat, right? Did you ever try to understand why I was doing it?''

''WHatever the reason is, you have to fucking understand just how wrong this is.'' – it was fucked up on all levels.

''Right. Right.'' – she laughed hystericaly. – ''WHy should I understand? Because you're protecting your family? Well, I'm doing the same thing. Basic biology tells you that it will be a hybrid between a human and a vampire, the kid won't be a monster. Just… and to think that I actually have to be having this conversation with you people. Do you see this?'' – she pointed at herself. – ''This sucks. It sucks!'' – she said as she made circles in the air with her finger pointed at herself. – ''I'm frozen. Every choice was taken from me on the night that I was beaten and hanged and yet somehow I'm the monster and everyone needs to be protected from us. No. Excuse my language but fuck that. Whatever you guys are at least you have a chance to stop. I can't stop being this. No, scratch that. I can. I am stopping right now and it's killing me. I'm going to die, Paul, and excuse me for being an unknown entity myself. Maybe we should just kill me right now and put an end to all of this. Or, and here's a wild idea, we could try and find a solution. Together. No lies this time. So I'll start first. Go talk to your dad. He knows much more than any of you think and he's the one who told us about what was happening to me and how it was going to end. Also, I will stand beside Bella for as long as it takes and trust me, if the kid turns out to be what you all are so afraid of, there will be no need for your intervention because we will deal with it. And when it comes to my killer, I will be the one to fix that. I will find him and I will take him on. Not you. Not Monica. Now, is there anything you want to tell me?''

What was there to say? As she was talking I had time to take her in. She had deep dark circles under her eyes and she was struggling to keep herself on her feet. She was angry. Rightfully so. I was a dumbass. I was such a fucking idiot it was almost unbelievable. It was me, after all, of course I'd fuck something up. I had nothing on her. She was right. Of course she was and here I was wasting our time. Was it true she was dying? Is that why she wanted me to be there with her? She didn't want to die alone this time? Was that why? And she was right…I dreamed of having a family of my own one day but that dream was turned to ashes for her. She had no choice now but to defend Bella's wishes. I was such an idiot. Fucking asshole.

I won't fuck up this time. I won't allow it. I will never lie to her again.

''I do have something to say. We lied to Monica to keep her away from harm in case the vamp royalty from Italy decided to poke their noses around. You're right. We will do this together.'' – she nodded. She was angry at us but she understood it too. Monica's face was unreadable. She just stared at Embry who returned her stare. The guy still stood by everything he said to her. It didn't matter to him whether she was angry or not. Call was going to be there to protect Monica no matter what. And I will be there for Nell. I promised. – ''I won't let you die, Cullen. I will protect my people but…you're my people too. We'll talk to Sam and we'll wait for the day the kid is born.''

''Good.'' – Nell agreed as she stretched her hand out to me. – ''No more lies.''

''No more lies.'' – I took her hand though I still felt like shit. Why the fuck was I so blind and so prone to just act out without thinking? This girl in front of me was my peace and I just gave up on it when I got to the first obstacle. How the fuck was I going to keep my promise if I couldn't even think straight? I was a complete fuck up. No wonder people fucking left every time. Who would want to be there for someone like me?

''Super.'' – I heard Monica from behind us. – ''I guess that's it then? Are we going back now, Nell?'' – she refused to look at any of us. It was Monica who was pissed this time but I noticed she wasn't even pissed at Nell. She was angry at me for giving up so easily. She saw it as betrayal. Monica needed to find the guy to get the absolution from all the guilt that she felt. And now her plans were ruined because of me. She was hurt by Embry too. Whatever we did someone was bound to get hurt. I hated that. I hated it. Monica was good. She was kind and she deserved happines but we only made her feel worse.

''Monica.'' – Embry stopped after Monica lifted her hand in the air.

''I don't care.'' – she told him. – ''Nell, you coming?''

''Yes.'' – Nell said as she went towards the car. She turned to look at me one more time as if to make sure our no lies deal was still on. I nodded and they left.

I knew things were going to get very, very different after this. there was no doubt about that but somehow despite the fucked upness of the situation I had hope. Nell was back in my life. That was enough. I had to deal with Sam now. And not only him but my dad too.

Even days after Nell came to La Push to confront me I was still so severly fucked up it was a new personal best for me. I talked to my dad and my head was still spinning after that talk. At least I could understand him now. I understood what it was like for him and for the first time in years we hugged. I forgot what it was like to be hugged by someone who truly loved me, but it happened.

Sam agreed to Nell's suggestion to wait until Bella's whatever was born like the good leader he is and we were mostly at peace now. Well…not all of us. Call was in a state of deep fuck this shit feelings. He had tried getting a hold of Monica but that didn't work. She refused to take his calls. Fuck. She refused to take mine as well. The guys saw her visit the Cullen house from time to time but even that was rare now, besides, every time she came over she would be so fucking loud and busy that we could hear her. She wouldn't stop talking and just running around doing this or that. It was impossible to keep up with her and I had to laugh because I knew what she was doing. She was trying to keep her thoughts busy at all times to avoid having her mind read by Edward. Smart. Of course, that was Monica for you.

What worried me was the fact that she may be planning something on her own. And if Edward can't see it and the fortune teller sees it too late it might get ugly. That was driving EMbry up the fucking wall as well. The more time he spent away from her the more he felt bad about the whole thing. And now without having his best friend here it was even worse.

''Call, calm down. It's gonna be fine.'' – I told him. That was a fucking a lie. I had no idea how things were going to turn out. I was worried about Nell, about Monica. Fuck…even about the dumb trio that went to tag along with the bloodsuckers.

''Fuck off.'' – touchy.

''Dude. Fuck you, honestly. Nell is dying. Do you understand that?'' – he howled. – ''You're not the only one who's being fucked over by this situation, Call.''

''I fucking know. I get it, it doesn't change anything.''

''Tell me about it.'' – we ran a couple of laps in silence. – ''I hated Monica at first. She was fucking obnoxious, you know that?''

''Dude. Nell was a bloodsucker. Fuck. She is one.''

''Yeah.'' – Embry laughed. – ''The worst thing is, at first I was scared I'd imprint on someone and it would blow the whole thing. You know what I mean? But after some time I didn't even care anymore. It's Monica. It was always her.'' – I knew what he meant all too well myself.

''I love Nell. Did you know that?'' – Embry seemed to be taken aback by my words. – ''I fucking do. It's not even funny and I have no idea how it happened but it's just. She's the one, I guess. And I can't tell her that. I'm running out of time and I don't dare to tell her that because I feel like I don't deserve it. I feel like if I tell her it will only make the whole thing happen faster. I promised her to be there for her and I'm not. I'm supposed to fucking protect people from her and I couldn't even protect myself. We're fucked, Call. There's no putting it gently.''

''Damn right.'' – he agreed.

We would have continued running in silence if a loud howl didn't get our attention. Suddenly there were other voices with us.

It was happening. Bella was giving birth to the little monster and it was time to decide what to do. Will we go to war or not?

I made my decision before I even had the time to think and so I pushed myself in front of the others. I was fucking fast. I knew they couldn't take me on and so I rand and ran and ran until I got to the house. I phased into a human. There was no time.

''Nellie!'' – I screamed out. Seth and Leah were there snarling at me. Fucking hurry up. there's no time. Finally. Alice dragged Nellie out. The both looked shocked by whatever they witnessed. Alice kept repeating Bella's name while Nellie looked like she was drunk. She was all bloody and in a state of daze. The thirst was having her in a choke hold. I could see it in her eyes. She was a killer now. There was no Nellie behind that red glimmer in her eyes. – ''Nell. Nell. Nellie.'' – I went to her and she crouched as if she was going to rip my throat at any moment.

''Not now Paul.'' – Fortune teller warned me but I was having none of that. fire was raging inside of Nell and she needed me. I'd sooner die than to let her go through this alone.

''Stay back.'' – Nell managed to croak in between two labored breathes. Fuck that. I won't ever stay away from you again.

''It's you, Nell. No war.'' – I didn't know what I meant by that but somehow it made sense to her.

''Help me.'' – she breathed out. Her fingers were claws clutching at her throat.

''I'm here.'' – Fuck the magical bond breaking I didn't need it anyway. Nell never gave me shit about anything. She smiled at me. Treated me like I mattered. Everytime. She fucking tried. The only thing that mattered was that she was still here. There was still time. I won't let her die. Our eyes met again. Hers were filled with tears and gentle determination. I understood her even without words and then I could feel it stronger than ever. It was always her. My soul knew what I needed. The bond came back in full force. Stronger than ever not because it was the decision of a wolf spirit but because we decided it. In that brief moment our eyes met we decided this was where we wanted to be. In each other's arms. Always.

There was going to be no war.

The law was to be respected. Nell was my imprint. She was family and we can't harm our family.