DEGRASSI: GLORY DAYS - S01E17 - THE JOKER
DISCLAIMER: I DON´T OWN DEGRASSI
1. Ext. Atrium. Day.
Artie is standing on a table, entertaining a crowd of around 10 students, including Iz, Samira, Barry, Troy, Dexter and Ruby.
Artie:
Isn´t it funny how words are okay in some situations and in others, they´re wrong to say? I wish they´d hand out a list to us the first day of school. Take "Ass", for instance. It´s fine if you´re talking to a farmer about his donkey. He probably won´t care. Try going up to girl, tell her she has a nice one and you´ll get a whole different reaction!
It gets a small laugh from the crowd.
Artie:
Or you could say "Wow, I really made an ass of myself in school today" and people will think it´s fine. Tell them you showed your ass in school today and they´ll think you´re a perv.
Troy found that one hilariously funny.
Artie:
Then there´s the combinations of words, we can´t use together. God is a great word, so is damn. You have the father of life itself and the best tool we have to control the passage of water. Put them together ...
He makes a wobble movement with his hand and a "not so good" face. The crowd laughs.
Artie:
And you never know, what words you can say on any given day. Some will find out on Saturday, that they don´t like a word, I´ll say it to them on Monday and they´ll look at me like, how could you NOT know I hate that word? I don´t know, maybe because I can´t read minds?
We see Iz giggling and looking proud of him.
Artie:
If anyone here is like that, could you please give the rest of us a list and send out updates, when it changes? It would make things a lot easier, is all I´m saying.
It gets another small laugh. He sees mr. Watson coming towards them.
Watson:
I´m afraid, that´s the end of the show. Classes start in two minutes, so you better get a move on. Artie, the tables aren´t for standing on.
He gets down and the crowd, except for Iz, Samira and Barry, disperses.
Artie:
Sorry, mr. Watson. I´m getting prepared for my comedy debut tonight.
Watson:
You gave them a good laugh. There´s no harm in that. Are you excited?
Artie:
And a little nervous. It´s a talent night at a youth club, so I´m sure there´s a few bombs, who´ll make me look better.
Watson:
That´s the spirit. All of you better get to class, or you´ll be late.
Artie joins the three others.
Artie:
What did you think?
Iz:
I loved every second of it!
Artie:
That´s what you always say.
Iz:
Okay, so I might be little biased.
Samira:
It was pretty good.
Artie:
What was wrong with it?
Samira:
It made me think a lot, but it only made me laugh a few times.
Artie:
You´re saying it needs more jokes?
Samira:
I don´t think it would hurt.
Artie:
This is good, I can use this. What did you think, Barr?
Barry:
It was funnier, when you fell on your ass.
Artie:
Let´s hope, that doesn´t happen again.
They head to class.
OPENING CREDITS
2. Int. Classroom. Morning.
The 9th graders are having English class. Luke is sitting next to Britney, who´s fighting hard to stay awake. Ms. Kendicks is teaching the class. "Flowers For Algernon" is written on the blackboard.
Kendricks:
Who can tell my why our protagonist agrees to this experiment?
Several kids raise their hands. Kendricks sees that Britney has her eyes closed and is half asleep, resting her head on her arm.
Kendricks:
Ms. Simpson, why don´t you tell us?
Luke shakes her and she comes to, looking a little disoriented.
Kendricks:
Why did he agree to the experiment?
Britney:
Ehm, he thought it had scientific value?
Kendricks:
Why would he think that?
Britney:
Because ... he thought flowers were interesting?
Kendricks:
You think that´s where the title, "Flowers for Algernon" comes from?
Britney:
I can´t see where else it should come from!
Kendricks:
It´s obvious, you haven´t read a word of it. Now you get to read it in detention , the next three days, starting today.
Britney:
But I have plans!
Kendricks:
That´s hardly my problem, is it? Who can tell me the right answer?
Luke raises his hand.
Kendricks:
Mr. Travers.
Luke:
He´s feeble minded to the point where he´s disabled. They claim the drugs can make him normal.
Kendricks:
It´s nice to know some students still take their education seriously.
Britney looks a little down. Luke gives her a sympathetic smile.
3. Int. Hallway. Day.
The 9th graders exit the classroom. Britney can´t get out fast enough, but Luke still manages to catch up with her.
Luke:
Too bad you got detention.
Britney:
Who says I´m turning up for it?
Luke stops her. They look at each other and she rolls her eyes.
Luke:
You can´t not turn up for detention.
Britney:
Says who?
Luke:
The school. They´ll tell your parents.
Britney:
Like they´d care. They´re too wrapped up in their own BS.
Luke:
I know we haven´t talked as much as we used to, but I´m still your friend. If something´s going on, you can tell me.
Britney:
My dad has moved out.
She tries to hide her pain, but it´s clearly not something she likes talking about.
Luke:
Are you okay?
Britney:
I guess, I´ll survive. My mom said it´s a break from each other, they´ve needed for a while. I haven´t been able to sleep, because I can´t stop thinking about it.
Luke:
I wish you would have told me.
Britney:
I didn´t want to ruin your perfect life with my problems.
Luke:
Just because I´m with Annie, doesn´t mean you´re not important to me.
Britney:
We´ve barely talked the last two months, if you hadn´t noticed. We haven´t hung out after school since Halloween and it´s like you don´t care. I don´t care that you didn´t get me a Christmas present, but you didn´t come to visit like you´ve always done or even call to say "Merry Christmas". I don´t matter to you at all anymore. You might as well admit it.
Luke:
I´m sorry, if I´ve been a bad friend. If you´d asked me to hang out, I would have said yes in a heartbeat.
Britney:
I don´t fit into your life anymore. I´m going to look for Terry.
She starts to leave.
Luke:
Don´t go!
She walks away as fast as she can. He looks sad, watching her leave.
4. Int. Classroom. Day.
Dexter is sitting in a classroom by himself, eating an apple and looking over some papers, when Troy comes in. He sits down at the desk in front of him and turns his chair around.
Troy:
Couldn´t stand watching people eat?
Dexter:
This diet sucks. It better be worth it.
Troy:
You want to end your Football career here the best way possible, don´t you?
Dexter:
I´m sure my parents and Ruby would love it, if we ended it holding a trophy.
Troy:
3 more games and it´s celebration time. Are those the new plays?
Dexter:
I hope, I remember it all come game time.
Troy:
It´s not that hard to remember.
Dexter:
I´ve looked at them over and over again. It´s like I forget it again, when I look at the next one.
Troy looks a little worried about him.
Troy:
What else are you having trouble remembering?
Dexter:
Things here and there. I had to call Ruby yesterday and I couldn´t remember her number. I had to look it up in the phone book.
Troy:
Have you thought about sitting the last three games out?
Dexter:
My mind is fine! It´s stress or whatever.
Troy:
Have you told her, what they found?
Dexter:
Not yet. I´ll give her the low down after we finish school.
Troy:
Don´t you think she has a right to know?
Dexter:
I´ll be damned, if a shadow on a CAT scan is stopping us from getting the life we want. We´ll look in to treatment, if it becomes necessary.
Troy:
Can´t you hear how insane that sounds? If you mess up your brain, it´s for life.
Dexter:
This is where the hard work starts. Slowing down isn´t an option.
Troy:
I couldn´t live without knowing, if it was me.
Dexter:
Well, you´re not! Can you leave me alone, so I can concentrate?
Troy:
Sure thing.
He leaves him, looking worried for his friend.
5. Ext. Atrium. Day.
Artie is sitting at a table with Barry.
Artie:
My uncle told me some funny "my wife" jokes. I was thinking about renaming them "my girlfriend jokes" and throwing a few in.
Barry:
I don´t think I know what a "my wife" joke is.
Artie:
Like you could say "My ex-girlfriend still misses me, but her aim is getting better all the time".
Barry:
Like she´s trying to shoot you?
Artie:
Exactly! It´s a funny play on words.
Barry:
It´s kinda funny, I guess.
Artie:
How about this one: Two guys are talking about their girlfriends. The first one says "my girlfriend is such an angel". The other one says "You´re lucky, mine´s still alive".
Barry:
That one was too mean.
Artie:
Gotcha. No one said being funny would be easy, right? Did you know my Uncle was married to a deaf woman?
Barry:
No.
Artie:
She left him for a deaf friend of hers. He felt a little dumb afterwards, that he didn´t see the hand signs.
Barry chuckles. Artie is pleased, that he made him laugh.
Artie:
Do you know what kind of car, Mickey Mouse´s girlfriend drives?
Barry:
No.
Artie:
A Minnie van.
Barry laughs heartily.
6. Int. Cafeteria. Day.
Luke, Annie, Carl and Tif are sitting together, eating lunch. Annie sees that Luke looks worried about Britney.
Annie:
Penny for your thoughts,
Luke:
Am I a terrible person?
Carl:
Of course, you´re not!
Tif:
A weird nerd maybe, but I wouldn´t call you terrible.
The others look at her, a little surprised at her rudeness.
Tif:
I say what I think, when I think it! You should be used to that by now.
Carl:
Could you try toning down the honesty?
Tif:
If I did that, I wouldn´t be the Tif you know and love. I said he wasn´t terrible!
Luke:
Thanks for the lukewarm compliment.
Annie:
You guys will become friends again.
Luke:
She was right in everything she said. I drove her right in to the arms of a criminal.
Carl:
Britney´s responsible for her own decisions.
Luke:
He´s already getting her in trouble. It´s my fault.
Tif:
No, it isn´t.
Luke:
How do you know?
Tif:
I saw that she had her eye on Carl, when he started here. She likes bad boys.
Luke:
You don´t know her like I do.
Tif:
We can smell our own.
Carl looks a little proud.
Carl:
You hit on me because I´m a bad boy?
Tif:
Because you looked like one. Finding out you´re a sweetheart, was a little disappointing at first.
Carl:
You´re kidding!
Tif:
Part of me liked it better, when you were being manly.
Carl:
I´m manly!
Tif:
Sure you are.
Carl looks a little insulted.
Carl:
Would you rather, if I was a jerk to you?
Tif:
Of course not! I´d dump you in an instant. All I´m saying is, I get why Britney is attracted to him. He´s dangerous and exciting, like James Dean or The Fonz.
Luke:
Comparing him to the Fonz, makes him seem a lot less threatening.
Tif:
Not all analogies can be winners.
Carl is still a little hurt, that she doesn´t think he´s manly.
Tif:
Lighten up! You have a million other qualities, I love about you.
Carl:
Like what?
Tif:
Like how you can always make me smile or how it instantly cheers me up, when I see you in the morning?
Her nice words cheered him up a little bit.
Carl:
At least your parents hate my guts. That´s gotta count for something.
Tif:
It counts big, but you´re still a sweetheart. Don´t think I´m letting you go anytime soon.
Luke:
What do I do about Britney?
Annie:
She has to make her own mistakes.
Luke:
I suppose you´re right.
He still looks worried about her as he continues eating.
7. Int. Car. Day.
Britney and Terry and making out in the backseat of his car. "Let´s Get it On" by Marvin Gaye is on and they´re making out slowly to the tempo of the song. He starts kissing her neck and she sneaks a look at her watch.
Britney:
We should be getting back.
Terry:
We´ll walk fast.
He begins to slide his hand under her shirt, but she stops him.
Britney:
We have to stop. I´ve already been in trouble once today.
He stops and sits up. They straighten their clothes.
Terry:
How did you get in trouble?
Britney:
Kendricks caught me sleeping and quizzed me. I guessed wrong, because I hadn´t read it.
Terry:
Was she angry?
Britney:
It´s hard to tell when she´s angry or normal.
Terry:
Did you get detention?
She thinks about it for a few seconds.
Britney:
No. She said I´d get detention, if it happened again, though.
Terry:
We´re still on for our road trip?
Britney:
We have to celebrate you getting your license, don´t we?
She smiles at him.
8. Int. Hallway. Day.
Samira and Iz are walking down the hallway, on their way to class.
Samira:
One more class and you´re off to dream land.
Iz:
Right now it seems like an eternity.
Samira:
You´ll get through it. It´s only chem class.
Dexter and Troy come up to them.
Troy:
Do you know, when is Artie going on?
Iz:
Sometime between 7 and 9. You might have to sit through some bad acts, until you get to him.
Dexter:
Ruby wants to go. She´s becoming his biggest fan.
Samira:
I wish, I could go.
Troy:
What do you say, I have a talk with dad? I don´t think he´ll mind, If you´re with me.
Samira:
Thanks. You´ve never taken me anywhere before.
Troy:
Then it´s about time, isn´t it? See you later.
Troy and Dexter head up the hall. Samira looks just as thrilled as Iz to be going.
9. Int. Classroom. Day.
Troy and Dexter sit next to each other. Dexter get a pad and pen out. He writes the time of the show down.
Troy:
What do you say we meet up there a little before 7?
Dexter:
Sounds like a plan.
He writes it down.
Troy:
Better to be safe than sorry, huh?
Dexter:
It beats having an angry Ruby on my hands. I hope she remembers the address.
Troy:
We were there a few years ago. You´ll remember, when you see it.
Ruby sits down next to Dexter. He hides his notes with his hand.
Ruby:
Did you find out, when it is?
Dexter lifts his hand a little bit, so he can see. Troy notices it.
Dexter:
A little before 7.
Ruby:
That´s oddly unspecific.
Troy:
What he means is we meet up there a little before 7. Artie goes on sometime between 7 and 9.
Dexter:
Exactly. That´s what I meant to say. We´ll have a great evening, you´ll see.
Ruby:
See Troy, this is how you treat a lady. If you were more like Dexter, you wouldn´t be single.
Troy:
Yeah, he´s quite a guy.
Dexter gives Troy a "Thanks, bro" look.
10. Int. Lobby. Day.
Britney is pacing up the hallway, trying to get out ASAP. Luke is waiting for her by the entrance. He steps in her way.
Luke:
You´ll get suspended, if you do this.
Britney:
Watch me care.
Luke:
If you´re doing this to get back at your parents, it´s the wrong way. You´ll only end up hurting yourself.
Britney:
You don´t know anything about me anymore, so stop pretending to be my friend.
She walks past him and out the doors. He follows after her.
11. Ext. Degrassi. Day.
Britney sees Terry waiting for her and runs down to meet him.
Terry:
Ready to hit the road?
Britney:
I´ve been ready since I got here.
Luke comes down to them.
Luke:
Do you know what she´s doing?
Britney:
Shut up, Luke! Mind your own business.
Luke:
She ditching detention to be with you. I thought you should know.
Britney:
Why can´t you leave me alone?
Luke:
It´s called being a friend. I´ll see you tomorrow.
He leaves them. Terry looks disappointed in her.
Terry:
Why did you lie to me?
Britney:
I don´t care about detention or school! I want to be with you.
Terry:
Won´t your parents will freak, when you get suspended?
Britney:
Let them freak! At least they´d pay attention to me again!
Terry´s look turns to sympathy.
Terry:
Is it bad at home?
Britney:
It´s like I´m living in a funeral home. My mom´s depressed and barely talks to me. I haven´t seen my dad since he left us two weeks ago. It´s all falling apart.
Terry:
You know skipping detention to get their attention is stupid, don´t you?
Britney:
They can kick me out for all I care.
Terry:
Then where would I see you?
Britney:
I´ll go back in there, but only if you say, you want me to.
Terry:
Do the smart thing and take your punishment. The roads will still be there, when you´re free again.
They kiss and she heads back towards the school.
12. Int. Youth Club. Evening.
Iz and Barry are already waiting at a table, when Troy, Samira, Dexter and Ruby come over to join them.
Ruby:
Mind if we sit with you?
Iz:
Sure.
They sit down.
Iz:
I never expected the cool kids to come asking, if they could sit with me.
Troy:
Are we the cool kids?
Ruby:
Cool as they come at Degrassi.
Troy:
Do you remember the place now?
Dexter:
We went to see some band here, didn´t we?
Troy is happy to see, that he remembers it.
Troy:
I made out with that girl. What was her name?
Dexter:
Andrea. You and Mike were both after her and he ended up with her friend in stead. It was a really fun night.
Ruby:
You didn´t score?
Dexter:
No, I only had eyes for you.
Dexter takes her hand and kisses it softly. She looks at him with love.
Troy:
Have they said, when Artie is going on?
Barry:
First.
Troy:
This night keeps getting better.
Samira:
Thanks for bringing me.
Troy:
Do you want a soda?
Samira:
Sure.
Ruby:
Look at you all gentlemanly.
Troy:
Samira deserves to be treated like a princess. I´ll be right back.
He leaves them. Artie comes over to their table.
Iz:
There´s my superstar! Are you ready to go on?
Artie:
As I´ll ever be.
Barry:
You can fall on your ass, if they don´t laugh.
Artie:
We´ll call that "Plan B"
The emcee, a 17 year old girl, comes on stage and grabs the microphone.
Emcee:
Welcome to our talent night. First up we have a comedian. Please welcome Artie Yorke.
Artie comes on stage and she hands him the microphone.
Artie:
How are you all doing?
He gets a small applause.
Artie:
One of the new things becoming big, is motivational books. You´ve seen them at the bookstore, the "How you can be successful, if you get off the couch" type books. What I don´t get is why the people buying them, think they need more motivation? They were motivated to go to the bookstore to buy it, in the first place! If they´re motivated enough to do that, what do they need the book for?
It gets a good laugh from the crowd.
Artie:
One of the things everyone´s been reading about lately is "Son of Sam". Thank god, that caught that guy, huh? The guy who got his orders from neighborhood dogs, who told him who to kill. I think the dogs were saying "rub our bellies", it just got a little lost in translation.
Artie shows with his fingers, how small the difference is, making them laugh louder.
Artie:
He should have listened to the neighborhood cats. They told him to take a nap.
We see Iz and the others at the table laughing. Artie is enjoying himself on stage and is clearly in his element.
Artie:
I´ve always been a dog person and we have the best dog in the world at home. He gets the paper for us every day and we´ve never even had to subscribe to them.
We pan out as Artie keeps talking and the crowd is laughing.
CLOSING CREDITS