The Change-Up
A/N: Late AGAIN! Ugh, I don't have anything to say except for apologies. This time, I won't stop (Until something REALLY important comes along) for sure. Really.
Anyways, thanks to:
Talawolfgirl and Cyrus559 for reviewing!
I hope you guys enjoy this! Would suggest reading the previous one to get a hang of what's happening.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters. The plot is mine.
Inuyasha and Kagome, always whining that the other person's life and duties are much easier. At least, they think so. But what happens when they get to know how is it, to live each other's lives?
18. The Past and The Future
"Kagome," Inuyasha said softly, "I know this is very difficult for you to talk about..." He observed her as she remained seated on the stone bench as she had been doing for the last fifteen minutes. "But..." Both of them were in the shade of the Goshinboku, as the wind blew lightly around them. Inuyasha took a breath and continued, "...I've got a test tomorrow, and I gotta study for it, so could we wrap this up quickly?"
She noted the haughtiness in his tone, obviously the result of Kagome hiding the secret of she being bullied at school. She sighed.
It came as a hell of a scare when Inuyasha brought up the topic. That was the last thing she'd have expected to come from him and her heart had immediately gone bleak.
She recalled the passive face he held- pursed lips, inexplicable, void eyes... He looked as if he was the quiet before a storm. And seeing him like that had blocked every thought in her mind and had instigated this panic, which she still felt.
It really wasn't as simple as it looked. Surely not for Inuyasha.
"Yes, yes. I know." Kagome whispered. She gripped the edge of the bench tightly as many thoughts traveled her mind. Taking a breath, she continued as her gaze remained glued to the ground, "Uh, Inuyasha... I know, you must be very hurt-"
"And disappointed."
Kagome took a glimpse of his stern eyes, taken off-guard. 'Then again, there was no way this was gonna be easy...'
Her eyes again shifted away from him, "Yes... disappointed, also. I can't even imagine what you must've thought, and how you kept a straight face all the time till we reached home... And god knows, how you even got to know about this..." 'Was it the girls? Or did those bullies confront him? Or did someone else... well, there's no way to know. And no use to know it now.'
She looked up at him, her voice thick and slightly shaking, "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I'm very sorry. I never meant for you to find it like this-"
"Or did you not want us to find this at all?" He asked, hands folded under his breasts. "Kagome, I just want to know why you never told us this. Do you not trust us?" Even his voice quivered a bit.
Kagome's sharp ears noted the change in his tone, and she shut her eyes. 'How am I gonna do this?'
She hadn't spoken about this to anyone, actually. Her mom, Souta, Sango, Kaede, Inuyasha... Nobody. Not even her friends, who see it happen. And they also didn't bother her by bringing it up and had decided to just be there for Kagome.
Inuyasha wasn't going to stay quiet though.
"Kagome, as I said before, I don't want you to recite me the entire history of... it." He said. 'Because knowing it isn't gonna make this any easier than how it is.' He thought with a clenched jaw. 'I won't be able to take any of it... And I don't want her to relive that shit again.' "The past is the past. Just that... why didn't you tell us this? Does even your mom know about this?"
Kagome shook her head.
Inuyasha took a breath. Not that Kagome's mother wasn't understanding, Inuyasha knew Kagome always tried to not burden her much, so he couldn't say much about that.
"But then, what about Sango, Miroku, Kaede... or me?"
His emphasis on 'me' meant so many things and Kagome didn't dare to look at him, because she knew she would break down into tears if she did. 'And nobody wants to hear a dog howling.' She thought dryly as she swallowed hard.
Clearing her throat slightly, she spoke, "Inuyasha, we already have so much shit going on. Our lives are put on the line every day at every fight. Mentioning this just didn't feel important to me when ALL of us are going through something. It would've looked so-"
"Selfish?"
Kagome paused for a moment and looked up before nodding, "Yes." She gulped again as she stared at his vacant face.
Inuyasha licked his lips, "Hmm." He narrowed his eyes a bit and the spoke, "So you're saying that when Sango talks to us of being worried to death about Kohaku and how she can save him, that's selfish? When Miroku talks about his complicated feelings towards Sango, however rare that may be, it's selfish? When Shippo cries about anyt-"
"You're the one to talk." Kagome snapped as she looked at him. "Have you ever talked to us about what you feel?"
Inuyasha stayed quiet and Kagome continued as his silence affirmed what she had asked, "See? You, yourself don't do it and so you can't expect me to do-"
"Yes, I can!" He yelled and it startled Kagome. "Yes, I effing can! Because I'm me," He pointed at her, "and you're you. Kagome, you're the person who shares everything with everyone. Who makes everyone feel comfortable around you. Who shares others' pain, cries for them, consoles them, and fights for them!"
Kagome's breath had hitched as she listened to Inuyasha who spoke vulnerably, "I've always been a lone person, Kagome. But you, have not. You're the reason everyone is there fighting together. You're the glue that holds us. And this is completely out of your element, to hide your pain like this... Even when it comes to me and Kik-" He paused there and took a breath, "...Even then we see what you feel, even if it might feel like we don't..."
He looked hard into her eyes now, "But that's why everyone likes you, Kagome. Because you're transparent. Because you don't have ulterior motives. When you get angry, you show it. When you're happy, you show it." His rapid gestures and enunciations showed how strong he felt about this, "And I admire that about you. It takes a lot of confidence to express yourself so openly in front of everyone. And you have the guts to do it. And it also makes us feel comfortable enough to express our feelings..." He took a deep breath as he saw her dropping her head, "You are our safe space, Kagome."
A tear trickled down Kagome's golden eyes as her grip moved from the bench to her jeans.
"That's why it feels so bad, so unfair that our safe space... doesn't feel safe towards us." He moved towards her and then crouched down in front of her.
Staring at her wet face, Inuyasha kept his palm on hers, "It really is unfair that you can take our worries but when it comes to you, you choose to suffer alone. And I don't like that because it implies you think you're burdening us with your problems. Which is what I don't even want you to think for a minute. Because you're not burdening us in any way. We're way past that phase, Kagome. We're in this together."
Kagome lightly sobbed as she understood that the 'we' he spoke of now, only included her and him.
"I know you must've thought I would come over here and slit the throats of those snotty bastards, which is probably what I would've done..." A chuckle left her mouth. "If it wasn't for this body swap, I think nothing could've stopped me."
He saw a small smile on her face and he grinned as well, "I won't do it now, obviously. This body would be of no help." Kagome pouted lightly and he paused for a second before proceeding, "But even then, I could've stopped to listen to you... then, now, every time. So, don't ever feel it's selfish if you tell us about your problems, okay?"
Kagome nodded her silver head as Inuyasha loosened her closed fists and then he stood up.
"This goes for you too, Inuyasha." She said as she looked up at him. "I'll also lend an ear to you, be there for you whenever you need."
Inuyasha moved his gaze downwards and it stayed at her for a while before his hands moved to adjust the cap on her head, "You always are, Kagome." He murmured and then looked into her amber eyes. "...I didn't know I looked so handsome while I cry..."
Kagome smacked his hand playfully, "Ha!"
Inuyasha spun like a girl in a garden, "No wonder, everyone was giving you the looks at school. Man, I'm such a treat for the eyes."
"Yes, yes. You are indeed." Kagome admitted as she picked up her bag. This is not how she had expected the conversation to go. Not at all. She thought he would yell, ('Which he did'), curse, reprimand her, 'And even attempt some murders, who knows.'
'But Inuyasha, he...' She felt warm and tender with how delicately he had approached the situation. And she knew that this wasn't because of the body-swapping.
'He has always handled times like this very maturely. Has always looked after me. Has always made sure I'm fine. Has always protected me first.' Kagome thought as she looked behind at the rear-figure of Inuyasha that attentively looked up at the Goshinboku, making it a perfect scene for a fantastic portrait. She smiled at how he like she usually does, had clasped his hands behind him.
'I'm so glad he's here with me.' Kagome's eyes stayed at him for a while, capturing the moment in her mind, before breaking the silence, "Now should we go study, Mr. Treat-For-The-Eyes?"
"Yes, if you promise to keep calling me that." He smirked after facing her.
Kagome scowled, "That sounds so gross." She said as they walked towards her house and she felt relief spread across her body, "Very gross. But I'm in a good mood, so I'll do it for a while. Only a while, though." 'After all, you also need reminders of how precious you are, Inuyasha.'
'Man, maths was difficult. I couldn't answer many questions...' Inuyasha sulked. 'And that troll in front of me was bragging so much about the test being easy. I was seriously considering jamming my pencil in his throat... But he left before I realized it, so I couldn't do it.' He sighed. 'Ah, from pencil I remember... let's pray that rolling the pencil thing works out for good...'
Inuyasha thought as he walked the corridors of the school while holding the straps of his bag. 'Kagome's whining about maths isn't too exaggerated, huh. I mean, my mood is completely ruined. I actually feel somewhere close to devastated. And now I've to attend this thing. Tsk! Why couldn't they have it after the exams end? Who knows what crap I'll have to go through now.'
He, again, recalled the math questions that had left him baffled and something inside him hurt. It was just a piece of paper, but he wondered how what he had simply written on it bugged him so much. 'Kagome must've felt the same also... She never talked about that as well...'
"Kagome, dear?"
Inuyasha looked behind, "Yes, m-mom?"
"Isn't this the room where we're supposed to meet the principal?" She pointed at the sign above the door.
"Oh, yes!" He hurriedly said as he walked towards her. "I lost track of it." He laughed uneasily.
Mrs. Higurashi smiled, "That's alright. I imagine you must be quite tired after the test, no?" She said as she patted the back of her daughter who now stood next to her.
The meeting, which Nagoyama sensei had told Inuyasha about, was happening today and as instructed- he had to bring Kagome's mother along for it.
"Only a bit. Nothing to worry about, though." 'She never fails to give me a warm feeling...' He felt slightly cheery now.
"Let's go then."
Inuyasha put his fingers in the recessed handle of the sliding door and almost walked in but was stopped with the hand put on his shoulder, and was pulled back.
'Whoa, what happened?' Inuyasha thought with surprise.
He was met with a quizzing glance from Kagome's mother before she peeked in the door, "Sir, may we enter?"
The referred man looked up from his oak desk and slightly narrowed his eyes, "Yes?" He was trying to remember the pair and why they would be here.
Inuyasha and Mrs. Higurashi walked in and stood behind the chairs. Kagome's mother bowed and Inuyasha imitated, "I am Miyoko Higurashi, and this is my daughter Kagome Higurashi."
The man's eyes flashed with recognition and he stood up as well- revealing his tall and lean figure. A striking contrast from the usual plump middle-aged school principals, "Oh, yes." He also bowed. "Higurashi-san, yes. Please, have a seat."
Kagome's mother smiled and the two of them obliged, "Thank you."
The man smiled, his face was calming. "Ms. Higurashi," He spoke looked at Inuyasha, "How is your health now?"
"Fine, thank you." Kagome had told him in advance that he might be asked generic questions like this and that the reason for her absence at school is being sick, so Inuyasha wasn't completely blindsided.
Kagome's mother took his hand in hers, "She's recovering better now."
"I'm glad she is." the older man smiled, "Really, because we're very concerned about you, Ms. Higurashi," Inuyasha only kept staring at him with a pursed mouth, "Regarding your health... and your schooling."
'Huh? That's why they called us? What... This is such a pain really.' Inuyasha grimaced mentally. 'Why does everyone make such a big deal out of all this? The tests, the homework, the studying... Who cares?'
Unaware of Inuyasha's thoughts, the Principal continued, "Ms. Higurashi has not been able to attend the classes due to her extremely delicate health. And as of now, statistically speaking- has only attended-" He adjusted his glasses to glimpse into the report laid in front of him, "15 classes in the last 2 months combined."
'So we apparently wasted 15 days in the last two months, great!' Inuyasha scowled but turned to look at the woman beside her whose hold on his palm had tightened. He saw some panic on Mrs. Higurashi's face, 'Wait. Is that... something to be worried about?'
"Sir, we are very sorry." Kagome's mother bowed deeply and Inuyasha kept staring at her confusedly, not understanding how to react. Why was she apologizing so much? Was not coming to school this bad?
Her mother continued, "It's inexcusable, we agree." Inuyasha gulped and bit his lip while trying to grasp the gravity of the situation.
The principal shook his hand, "Mrs. Higurashi, there's no need to apologize. We know your daughter has delicate health and you have always provided us with legible doctor's notes explaining her absence."
Inuyasha felt Kagome's mother gulp at that as the man continued, "Ms. Higurashi will face no issues since her reason is genuine. We assure you, attendance will not be a problem. However," He put his clasped palms on the table in front of him, "We are concerned about her academics." He said this as he glanced at Inuyasha.
"We're glad that Ms. Higurashi can manage to attempt the examinations at least, however, the grades aren't always up to the mark, which is understandable because of her absence. But it raises the question of her understanding of the subjects. As all of this will be very much important for her future and her career."
'Future? Career?' Inuyasha wondered as he listened on, "Kagome will receive an exemption in regards to her attendance and examinations, but it's her actual comprehension is what we're worried about. We only wish well for our students."
"Of course." Kagome's mother nodded but she still looked troubled.
"Ms. Higurashi has stated that she wishes to work in the medical sector in the future. To be precise, be a doctor." The man said after glimpsing at the report again, "It does suit her, she does have what it takes to be one. However, if her academics and especially the comprehension of the topics aren't strong from now itself, it'll only keep piling up. Perhaps even burden her more. And to really sustain in the world, which will only get more competitive as time goes on, she does need to focus on that aspect of apprehension."
'A doctor...?' Not that he hadn't observed Kagome's interest in medicine, but he just hadn't realized that she wants to be one... here.
If he wasn't gloomy enough before, he was definitely now.
Inuyasha's head dropped down while the man in front of them spoke, "Therefore, have you considered having tutors at home? Nothing too heavy, just to keep her afloat with the knowledge that she needs at her age and so that she's at the comfort of her own home."
Kagome's mother bit her lip, "Sir, our financial situation doesn't... leave much room for having tutors."
The principal went quiet for a second and even Inuyasha didn't need an explanation for that. "Oh. I'm sorry, mam." He took a breath. "I could've suggested the teachers from our school come tutor her, but as you know it can raise an issue of-"
"Impartiality, yes." Mrs. Higurashi replied, her voice heavy.
The principal took a breath, "There is the option of free online classes and websites that will aid her." He pulled out a paper from the drawer of his desk, "Here, our teachers have very carefully made a list of those classes and sites. Please refer to them as and when needed." Kagome's mother bowed as she accepted it with both her hands. "There's also the phone numbers and the available timings of some of our teachers. If there are any more doubts, Kagome can always ask questions to them on the phone."
"Sir, this is very kind of you. Thank you very much." Kagome's mother still hadn't broken her bow.
The principal bowed as well after standing up, "Mrs. Higurashi, our students are the future of our nation. We all must do everything in our might to make sure they get empowered enough to become responsible citizens."
Kagome's mother stood up as well, "Thank you, sir. For looking at this from such an empathetic point. We'll always be grateful to you."
"We look forward to Kagome regularly coming back to school with us- for studying, for her friends, for everything everyone her age cherishes." He said warmly.
Kagome's mother gave a deep bow again and began to exit the room.
Inuyasha, even though reached to the very awful rock bottom after learning a bitter truth, bowed deeply to the man as a sign of further respect, "Sir, thank you. For your help." From what it looked, he had really helped Kagome and her mother a lot.
He smiled, "No worries, Ms. Higurashi. We wish you all the best."
~Drrrr~
The door slid closed and Inuyasha kept staring at his feet.
'Kagome... plans to stay here... doesn't she?' He sighed hard with hunched shoulders. 'I...'
"Kagome?"
'I... don't even know what to think...'
"Kagome?" A hand touched Inuyasha's shoulder and he was snapped out of his thoughts.
"Yeah?..." He whispered.
"Kagome, I know you must be discouraged after this... Especially since even I was there listening to all of it. And you probably must be rethinking the choice you've made until now, and I can't stop you from doing that. But I can only tell you that if your decision of going to the feudal era does change or if you continue with your current arrangement- you'll always have my support. As we all as Souta's and grandpa's. We'll always be there, irrespective of what you decide."
Inuyasha blankly stared at Mrs. Higurashi and another realization hit him. He was only thinking about Kagome leaving the ancient world, but after listening to her mother, he understood that there was another side to the coin.
It was because Kagome was spending her time in the feudal era that they were called today and had to listen to all this. Why he had to see Mrs. Higurashi squirm nervously, get panicked as they heard the Principal, talk about something as sensitive and private as their financial situation...
And what's the reason Kagome goes to the feudal era? The real reason?
Inuyasha recalled Sango asking him the same thing when they were talking a walk after dinner a few days back.
'Because of me.'
He gulped and looked down, having no response to what Mrs. Higurashi had said.
"Now, now," The woman's voice became cheery, "Come on, let's get going. We're having Somen for lunch today."
"Somen? Yay, I like Somen." Inuyasha somehow managed to say this with a smile to relieve her but even today, he knew that he was going to walk home with a burden on his heart.
[Day 13- Day 14]
As always, hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Bye!