"Are you mad at me?"

Goku paused, the broken bits of bamboo and wood neatly stacked to the side. The gathering of supplies was going well and Gohan always surprised him with how much he could do and how fast he could do it. Maybe it shouldn't have; after all, he knew what his son was capable of.

But this melancholy question cut Goku's heart. When he turned, Gohan was looking downward. Still binding the bamboo together as tight as he could. There was a slight cutting into the bamboo; Gohan was pulling it hard. Hard not to see the connection between emotional distress and breaking bundles.

Standing up, stretching, Goku returned a smile to his son. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Cause...earlier." Gohan remarked. "I know I apologized and stuff but what I said..." Gohan didn't know what was worse—what he said or the fact that he said it bothered him less than he thought it should. Oh, not the yelling at Krillin and Yamcha—-that he felt like utter crap for. As he did about the fact he slapped away his father's hand and raised his voice at him. But...what he actually said...about not wanting to lose his room so early especially with the baby not even here yet...he'd MEANT all that.

Did that make him bad?

Goku's eyes softened. He flopped to the ground, patted his lap. "C'mere, little man." The utter welcoming tone in his voice melted whatever tension had encased Gohan and he felt...well, accepted.

Maybe he was too old but he really didn't care. Setting aside their work, Gohan crossed the short distance in quick strides, threw his arms around his father and settled in his grip. It had been a while since they'd done this. Maybe...yeah, when Daddy had followed him to Roshi's after they learned about Mom's pregnancy. Couple months then.

"You're too hard on yourself, little man." Goku rested his forehead on his son's for a moment then said. "I mean, yeah, I wasn't happy that you were yelling and rude but we addressed that. You apologized for it. That was that."

Gohan eyed him. "What about...what I said?"

Goku tilted his head. "Oh, about being left out and that you shoulda known if we were doing anything with your room and why do you have to give up your room when the kid's not here yet and that you were pissed?"

Face red, Gohan nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, did you mean it?"

Gohan considered. "Well, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions but then it wasn't an attack and as far as I knew, we weren't gonna do my room until later...yeah. I meant it. I was angry. I felt...cheated."

Goku only nodded. "Why would I be mad about that?"

Eyes wide, Gohan stared at his father. "But...it's not just about me..."

"No but how does that make you being angry or disappointed any less...well, okay?" Goku grinned sheepishly. "The lady tol' me another word for it but I can't remember."

Cocking his head, Gohan inquired. "Lady? What lady? Not Mom."

Shaking his head, Goku answered with a gentle ruffle of his son's hair. "No. Not Mom. Your mom is thinking ahead on a lot of stuff but that doesn't mean I can't do it too." He read the confusion in his son's eyes and elaborated. "After we all met with Tights and Bulma, I asked Tights if there was somethin' else I could do to help you. Cause I don't like it when you're sad or mad and I can't fix it. So I asked her what else I could do."

Gohan nodded; that was just like his father. "What did she say? Lemme pitch fits like a baby?"

"No. She didn't say that but that's kinda what the medical lady said."

Blinking, Gohan looked up, leaning his head against his father chest. "Medical lady?"

"Yeah. Tights said I should ask this medical lady—said she helps people when their brains are thinking weird and it makes them sad."

Gohan shifted, turned to sit on his knees so he could be face to face with his father. "A therapist? You went and talked to a therapist?"

"Sure did." Goku beamed. "Seemed like—"

Gohan interrupted, all atwitter with questions. "But Daddy! You and Mom like the privacy. That's why we live out here. Therapists get all...personal."

Shrugging, Goku responded. "Eh, she did a little bit but I didn't have to tell her a lot. Just what I needed to in order to help you."

The prospect of this blew Gohan's mind. He knew all too well that one reason they did not use therapy was because they wouldn't believe half of what happened to him. Their lives were way too bizarre for that. But also..Daddy hated doctors. With a passion. Any kind! Even the offices made him all jumpy. But he went?

Gohan inquired as such and his father just smiled.

"You're a smart boy, Gohan but sometimes you miss the most obvious answer. I went cause I wanted to help you and that means more to me than being all uncomfortable."

That did give a warmth to his heart and the preteen relaxed against his father's chest. Maybe it was a little selfish but hearing his father would put aside something like that for him...it felt good. It meant he was important despite all this change going on and that was grounding.

"So...the therapist said let me throw a fit?" He finally asked. "That sounds weird."

"Well, that's not exactly what she said." Goku amended and looked down at his son. "She said if you get rude or dangerous then we gotta correct that but as for whatever you say you're feeling..." The Saiyan took on a soft smile. "Let you, she said. Lots of emotions are gonna be coming up and the last thing we want is you keeping them all buried." Trailing a bit, Goku remarked, "Kinda worries me that you do that all the time and she said only way to fix that is make it so you ain't afraid to talk about them."

Gohan frowned, considered. "She said I was afraid?"

"Well, she said something makes you uncomfortable enough to keep 'em in and then they come out in all kinds of other ways."

Made sense he supposed. Like a boiling kettle. "And me pitching a fit like I did, saying the things I did, is...okay?"

Goku heaved a sigh. "I probably won't explain it as good as she did but lemme try, okay?" Once again, Goku wished there was a therapist that knew about all their adventures that he could take Gohan too. But more than half the planet if not most of the planet, believed Mr. Satan saved them, not his son. Perception was obviously not their strong point.

So he'd make do with what he had.

"She said that we shouldn't let you be rude or violent. I already knew that. But when you start taking about how you feel—whatever it is—we needa listen and accept that is how you feel." Goku stroked the boy's hair back. "You saying you felt cheated because we were working on the room already—it doesn't matter if your mom and I think that you have no reason to feel that way—you still do. Emotions are different, she said. And I don't want you to think they're wrong."

The Saiyan leaned back, obviously thinking on how to phrase the next bit. "She said there were three things when you get upset—what happens, what you think and what you feel." Goku paused, then reached down and drew small little figures in the dirt. Gohan smiled at it. Drawing wasn't his father's best talent though that didn't stop them from doing it together. He was still able to recognize a house, a thought cloud and...well, him screaming.

"She said the emotions and the start..." he pointed to the first and third pictures "Are stuff we can't change or control. Cause you never know what might make you sad or mad or whatever. You can try to avoid things that did it before but you never know what'll do it later. And whatever you feel" he glanced at the third picture "is a reaction, like a reflex. You can't turn it off."

Gohan nodded, wasn't that the truth! Emotions were raw and powerful and as much as he wanted to "turn it off" he simply couldn't. The boy reached out and laid his hand over the middle scribble. "What about this?"

"What you think—she when something happens, you think something without even knowin' it and that makes the emotions. So..if we talk about the emotions, we can talk about the thinkin' and we can change the thinkin' so you feel better." Goku paused, scratched his head. "I think I got that right."

Gohan smiled, leaned into his father. "Makes sense to me Daddy. I...I appreciate you asking someone for me."

Goku squeezed the boy back. "You're my son. If I can help you, I will."

The two sat there, quiet a long time. "When I saw the room torn down," Gohan finally said, "I...I guess I was thinking...why do I hafta lose THAT?" He swallowed. "Lost so much else—and that room..." he blanched, stopped, bit his lower lip. "We used to play there...before Raditz and everything. Even Mom would come in and color or read or..." He closed his eyes. "It was a "before" place. When if anything was wrong, you or Mom could fix it. And...I don't wanna lose that."

Goku just nodded.

Gohan looked up at his father. "I love the power I have Daddy. I love growing stronger with you and meeting everyone but...sometimes, I like to pretend that...to go back to that simple life we used to have. It's silly but it helps. If I get frightened or overwhelmed, I can go back to those memories. And...if the baby came in then..."

Goku held him a little closer "That the baby would make new memories and we'd forget your old ones?"

Gohan was quiet, contemplating. "A little yeah...okay, a lot yeah. Same thing with the meditation room. It's...safe. No bad memories there. But it's just...well, they're full of MY memories. I want the baby to have that too. But do I have to erase mine for it?"

Goku shook his head. "Of course not." He squeezed his son a bit. "But why would the baby having their own memories get rid of yours?"

"I..." Slumping, Gohan confessed. "I dunno. I guess...everything else has gone away...so I figured that this must mean that time was up too and I wanted to keep it as long as I could." He pondered what he'd said, what his father had said and glanced about him. The lushness of Mount Paouz had not dulled with time. He had a lot of memories here too. "But I guess...memories aren't tied to a place, are they?"

Goku rested his chin on his son's head. "I dunno. Maybe in some ways but not too. I mean, I can remember my fight with my grandfather at Baba's. I could retrace it, step by step, if I wanted to. Here, at Bulma's, wherever. But would it mean more to be back there? Sure." Looking down at his son, he said, "You don't have to have your room to keep those memories. But if it makes them easier to keep then that's important too."

Gohan nodded. "I want...I want some things to stay just mine. There's going to be a lot of things I share with the baby. And maybe a lot of them will even be fun...maybe. But, I want some for just me."

Goku smiled. "And what's wrong with that? A baby coming doesn't mean you're going to have to share everything Gohan. I mean, yeah, at first it's gonna be hard and we're not gonna have as much time but if you wanna go out as just me and you, we can still do that. We can still make memories that are just us."

That felt like a weight taken off his back. "Even if the baby wants to come?"

"You'll sometimes have to give me or Mom time with just the baby. Cause they need those memories too. But it works both ways. Sometimes the baby can come. But sometimes, he or she is just gonna hafta wait."

Gohan took a hefty breath and locked eyes with his father. "This is so confusing, Daddy. I used to be able to depend on my emotions making sense. Now...I mean, I'm mad and sad and yet still excited and intrigued by the baby. I mean, when you said I could help with the room—it was neat. It's still neat that I'm gonna make something the baby'll see first. But I'm still..." he heaved a deep sigh again. "It's...complicated."

Goku shrugged. "Emotions are. If an animal dies, I'm sad it's gone, happy it's not suffering, frustrated we couldn't help it in time...you can have lots of different emotions, son. Just tell me, maybe, that you're feeling a lot of things so we can go and let you vent and talk and work through it, okay? It's new territory for me too but—" he stopped suddenly and snapped his fingers. "That's what the lady called it! Just came back to me."

Gohan smiled. Memory did that sometimes. "What Daddy?"

"Valid." He laid his forehead on his son's. "No matter what anyone says you SHOULD feel—your emotions are valid."

OOO

So I've been planning this chapter from the start because working as a therapist, people often see a lot of different emotions during big changes and all too often, they are villanized. I think this can be the confusing part for a lot of people—the emotions that seem so mean and cruel but fact of the matter is—we feel what we feel. There's appropriate ways to express them but what you feel should never be invalidated.