Apollo started to read.
Apollo sings and dances and shoots people
"Best things in my immortal life!" Apollo said.
YOU HAVE TO PITY APOLLO'S MOM.
"Leto suffered a lot." Zeus said in a guilty voice. 'And he could do nothing about it.' He thought.
Being pregnant is hard enough.
"Guess Percy was pregnant with a cute baby." Nico said. "M-preg?"
"Eww! No dude!" Percy exclaimed.
(Not that I would know, but my mom has told me about a million times.)
"Courtsey of my little sister, Estelle!" Percy grinned. He loved his little sis so much.
Apollo's mother, the Titan Leto, was pregnant with twins, and she couldn't go to the hospital when she went into labor.
"Because she had some problems." Hermes said, giving a cautious look at Hera.
Instead she had to run for her life, rushing from island to island, pursued by a vengeful goddess and a giant snake.
"Hera and Python." Apollo whispered dangerously.
Would it surprise you to learn that the whole thing was Zeus's fault?
"Perseus Jackson!" Zeus roared. Then he aimed a lightning bolt and fired it towards Percy without any warning. Percy was eating some blue cookies and he didn't notice that. As lightning hit Percy, he crumbled down to ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut.
"Zeus!" Poseidon roared, he jumped to his feet, trident in his hand. Zeus glared at him, and aimed his masterbolt at Poseidon.
"Noooo!" Annabeth yelled.. She rushed towards Percy in panic, other demigods took their weapons and aimed at Zeus. (Minus Jason, who gaped at Zeus.) Thalia gave her mistress a look of uncertainty; then notched an arrow on her bow, then aimed at Zeus' heart.
"I'm the king of Olympus, no one shall mock me or else!" He glared at the people who dared to lift weapons against him. Then...
9-nine
8-eight
7-seven
6-six
5-five
4-four
3-three
2-two
1-one...
Zeus broke into hysterical laughter. Audiance gave him odd looks. As Zeus snapped two fingers, Percy slowly opened his eyes.
"Wise girl?" He touched his head. "What happeed? Why are you looking so worried?"
"His prank bolt he always brags of." Hera said. "It's only a stunner."
Understanding what happened, the crowd began to laugh.
Old Thunderbritches fell in love with Leto and convinced her it would be totally fine to have kids together.
"Hera will never find out!" he promised.
"His signature pick up line." Poseidon sighed.
Zeus had told that lie to so many different women, he probably even believed it.
"Probably not even believe it, you say?" Hazel asked.
Of course, Hera found out. She glared down from Mount Olympus at the beautiful pregnant Leto,
"I sense evil queen in the snow white there. Perhaps the reason behind Hera's actions against Leto was that she may be thought Leto was more beautiful than her?" Aphrodite theorized.
who was glowing with health, sitting in a meadow and patting her swollen tummy, singing to her unborn children.
"Aww!" Audiance (except Hera) cooed.
Hera grumbled to herself, "How dare she be happy? Let's see how happy she is in eternal pain!"
"Why so jealous?" Hermes shook his head.
The Queen of Heaven spread her arms and addressed the entire earth below her. "Hear me, world! Hear me, Mother Gaea! I forbid any land with roots in the earth to receive Leto when it is time for her to give birth. Any land that dares to oppose me, I will curse for all eternity! Leto will have no bed to lie in, no place to rest! She will be forced to wander without a place to give birth, she will stay pregnant and in labor forever, suffering for the crime of taking my husband! HAHAHA!"
Audiance was silent. If you drop a pin in the throne room, you would have heard the sound of it. Apollo's handsome face was ugly with anger behind the book, Artemis' face was cold.
Hera didn't look anyone in the eye. Those weren't best moments in her immortal. She was full with envy at the time.
Yeah, Hera was definitely channeling her inner Wicked Witch of the West that day.
"Sounds like Jadis the white witch to me." Grover said suspiciously.
"It's Wicked witch of the west!" Percy exclaimed.
The ground rumbled. All the nature spirits on every land with roots in the earth promised not to help Leto.
"Are you sure that she wasn't Gaea in disguise?" Poseidon whispered in Zeus' ear.
Now, you're wondering, why couldn't Leto just buy a boat and give birth at sea? Why couldn't she go underwater, or down into Erebos, or rent a helicopter and give birth one thousand feet in the air?
"Roots in the earth. Earth was the first creation of Chaos and everything created after that was connected to earth. Sky? Built upon earth. Erebos and Tartarus? Connected to earth or they would fall into Chaos and dissolved into nothingness. Sea? Has a solid bottom." Athena continued, " But Delos was formed of the sea, and had the roots in sea. Thus it wasn't connected to earth so it floated on sea here and there. But it had roots in sea so it never left the sea."
Near as I can figure, Hera included all that in the curse.
"As usual, he skips some important details." Jason teased.
She created an impossible situation, where Leto could only give birth on solid ground, but all solid ground was forbidden to accept her.
"Thanks Delos." Hermes muttered.
Hera was tricky that way.
"We have seen her tricks enough for our lifetime." Annabeth muttered.
When Leto was seven months pregnant, she went into early labor.
"Godly pregnancies don't last long." Hera muttered.
"Oh, great," she groaned. "These kids aren't going to wait!"
"That they aren't." Poseidon agreed.
She tried to lie down, but the earth shook. Trees burst into flame. Fissures opened in the ground, and Leto had to run for safety.
"Basically, no environment for childbirth, even in immortal standards."
No matter where she moved, she couldn't find a safe place to rest.
"Poor Leto." Hestia sighed.
She took a boat to another island, but the same thing happened. She tried a dozen different places all over Greece and beyond. In each spot, the nymphs refused to help her.
"Afraid of curse." Hades said.
"Sorry," they said. "Hera will curse us for all eternity if we let you come ashore. You can't give birth on any land with roots in the earth."
"Almost every place in the world." Leo said. "You could have done it in Chaos, if you don't mind fading."
"But that means every land!" Leto protested.
"That's the idea." Ares said.
"Yeah, that's the idea," the nymphs told her.
"Well well well! Ares is a nymph! Who knew?" Demeter asked.
Leto drifted from place to place, her body racked with pain, her unborn children getting more and more impatient. Leto felt like she'd swallowed an overinflated beach ball and a couple of feral cats.
"Those two can be worst than that. Luckily I wasn't Leto." Hermes said.
In desperation, she went to Delphi, which had once been her mother Phoebe's sacred place. Leto figured the Oracle would give her sanctuary.
"Alas, Oracle was taken over by a bastard." Apollo spat.
Unfortunately, the Oracle's cave had been taken over by a giant snake called Python.
"Who was a bastard." Artemis added.
Where did he come from?
"Python was born in a bin - He always let Apollo in!" Nico sang.
"Influence of Apollo cabin." Nico sheepishly grinned at others. "And also its a song in Harry Potter, rather a bad one."
You'll love this. The word python is from the Greek pytho, which means rotting.
"Like an overgrown rotten green sausage with teeny-weeny legs?" Grover suggested.
The monster Python was born out of the festering, rotten slime left over from the great flood when Zeus drowned the world.
"Yuck!" Aphrodite gagged.
Tasty!
"I'm starting to understand that why you and Aphrodite not getting along too much." Frank said.
Anyway, Python had moved into the area and told himself, Hey, this is a nice cave. Lots of juicy mortals to eat!
"We noticed." Jason said.
Python proceeded to swallow the priests and the soothsayers and the pilgrims who came looking for aid. Then he coiled up for a nap.
"Napping after a big dinner isn't good for your health." Hermes adviced.
When Leto visited, she was shocked to find a hundred-foot-long snake as thick as a school bus
"Earth dragon." Apollo said. "Though he does resembles a snake for the most part.
hanging out in her mother's favorite holy place.
"Kitchen?" Percy asked. "It had to be the kitchen of Phoebe of all things!"
"Who are you?" Leto demanded.
"You-know-who!" Nico and Leo said.
"The newly elected priest of Oracle?" Frank asked.
"I am Python," said Python. "And you must be breakfast."
"Well, we may not like him Apollo, but you can't deny-Python's got the style." Dionysus said.
The snake lunged at her. Leto fled, but she looked so appetizing, being plump and pregnant and slow, that Python pursued her for miles.
"Scary!" Hazel gulped.
A couple of times he almost caught her. Leto barely made it back to her boat.
"Go Leto!" Poseidon cheered.
"Why are you cheering, Poseidon?" Hades asked.
"Can't I? You could use to be cheerful, bro." Poseidon said.
Hades grumbled.
Where was Zeus this whole time? Hiding. Hera was in a royal snit, and Zeus didn't want to be the target of her wrath, so he let Leto take all the heat. Nice guy.
"Yeah, really nice." Demeter said sarcastically.
Leto kept sailing until finally she had a crazy idea. She asked the captain of her ship to sail for the island of Delos.
"How did he suppose to find it?" Frank asked.
"But, my lady," said the captain, "Delos is a floating island! Nobody knows where it is from day to day."
"Exactly my point." Frank quirked his eyebrows.
"JUST FIND IT!" Leto screamed. Labor pain made her eyes glow red with agony.
"Some resemblance to me, I take it." Ares said.
The captain gulped. "One Delos, coming right up!"
"Scared aren't you?" Hades asked.
Several nerve-racking days later, they found the place.
"It was hard to find back then, because it was a moving island, of course." Athena said. Then she turned towards Poseidon.
Poseidon grinned sheepishly.
"Yeah, I sent a mental message to Leto."
"Why would you do that?" Demeter asked.
"That's a secret which I'll be revealing at the end of the chapter." Poseidon winked mysteriously.
It looked like a normal island—beaches, hills, trees, etc.—
"I sense a but coming here." Hazel said.
but Delos wasn't attached to the earth. It floated on the waves like a giant life preserver, drifting around the Mediterranean,
"Kinda like that 'boat' in Ice Age?" Grover asked.
occasionally pinballing off other islands or running over unsuspecting whales.
"I love pinball!" Nico said.
"Of course you would." Annabeth muttered. "You loved mythomagic quite a time."
Nico flushed.
As the ship got closer, Leto forced herself to stand at the bow. She was in so much pain, she could hardly think;
"Now that's a woman I'd like to idolize." Jason turned his thoughts into words.
but she called out to the main nature spirit of the island: "Oh, great Delos, you alone can help me! Please let me come ashore and give birth on your island!"
"I'm glad it let her in." Apollo muttered.
The island rumbled. A voice echoed from the hills: "Hera will be royally ticked off if I do that."
"But it doesn't have roots in earth!" Frank frowned.
"She can't hurt you!" Leto yelled. "Her curse specified any land with roots in the earth. You don't have roots!
"Which is, exactly my point." Frank said.
Besides, once my children are born, they will protect you.
Twin archers nodded.
Two Olympian gods on your side. Think about that. Delos will become their holy place. You will have great temples of your own.
"Which means Delos can earn prestige." Annabeth nodded.
You can finally settle down in one spot. The tourism alone will make you millions!"
"Have kids and settle down huh?" Hermes flashed a grin.
Delos thought about that. The island was tired of drifting around. The forest nymphs were getting seasick from constantly bobbing on the waves.
"Nothing but a good nap is better for all your sicknesses." Nico said. "Clovis was the one who told me that."
"Seasick is not one of those." Hazel grimaced. "I pity poor nymphs."
"All right," said the voice. "Come ashore."
"Yay!" Audiance cheered.
As soon as Leto found a spot to lie down, the whole world trembled with anticipation. It's not every day that two new Olympian gods are born.
"We're special that way!" Apollo grinned.
All the goddesses
"Except Hera and Artemis." Piper added.
—except, of course, Hera—rushed to Leto's side to help her give birth.
Hera nastily glared at the book.
Leto had two beautiful babies—
"Thank you." Apollo said. Artemis nodded.
a boy named Apollo, and a girl named Artemis.
"And then, there was an apocalypse." Hermes said in a secretive voice.
They were born on the seventh day of the seventh month, when Leto was seven months pregnant, so their holy number was thirteen.
" 7×7=49, 4+9=13; seems legit." Leo did the math.
(Just kidding. It was seven.)
"Voldemort had seven horcruxes too." Nico reminded.
"No one insult seven and gets away with it!" Apollo said and snapped his fingers. Nico coughed.
"What's hapening to me?
My throat is sore.
I'm a brat." He sang. Then he glared at Apollo, bit a Haiku with interesting words back.
We'll talk about Artemis in a bit, but Apollo wasted no time taking the spotlight.
"Why would I?" Apollo asked.
As soon as he'd tasted nectar from his baby bottle, he hopped out of his mother's arms, stood on his own two feet, and grinned.
"Aww!" Demeter, Hestia and Aphrodite cooed. They remembered the lovely brat.
"'Sup, folks?" he said. "My name's Apollo, and I need a bow and arrows, stat! Also, a musical instrument would be good. Has anybody invented the lyre yet?"
"Hello to you too, and I haven't invented the Lyre yet, cause I wasn't born then." Hermes reminded. "And we had such a bro-bond huh?"
The goddesses looked at each other in confusion.
"Why? This has to be normal for gods?" Jason asked.
Even the Olympians were not used to grinning babies who spoke in complete sentences and demanded weapons.
"Or you guessed so." Frank retorted.
"Erm, I've never heard of a lyre," Demeter admitted.
"Now I know." Demeter said.
In fact, the lyre would be invented later, but that's another story.
Apollo shrugged. "Fine. A guitar will do. Or a ukulele. Just not a banjo, please. I don't do banjos."
"Why not?" Leo asked.
The goddesses rushed off to find what the kid wanted. Hephaestus made him a beautiful golden bow and a quiver of magic arrows.
"Thank you Heph!" Apollo said.
"You're welcome." Hephaestus said.
The best musical instrument they could come up with was a keras, which was like a trumpet.
"Super awesome than a trumpet." Apollo said, smiling at the memory of his first instrument.
By the time the goddesses returned to Delos, Apollo had grown so much he looked like a five year-old, though he wasn't even one day old.
"Gods age scary fast." Piper said.
He had long golden hair, a super-bronze tan, and eyes that shone like the sun. He'd found himself a Greek robe woven from gold, so he was almost too flashy to look at.
"He's showing off his great destiny." Demeter said.
He slung the bow and quiver over his shoulders and grabbed the keras. He played a beautiful melody on the trumpet, then began to sing a cappella.
"My first song!" Apollo's eyes were wet with tears.
"Oh, I am Apollo, and I'm so cool! La-la-la, something that rhymes with cool!"
Actually I have no idea what he sang, but he announced that he would be the god of archery and song and poetry.
"Cut him some slack Percy, he's only a day old." Frank said.
He also announced that he would become the god of prophecy, and interpret the will of Zeus and the words of the Oracle for all the poor little mortal peons.
"In musical style." Apollo said.
When his song was finished, the goddesses clapped politely,
"Thank you!" Apollo bowed.
though they still thought the whole scene was a little weird.
"But nice." Aphrodite added.
The island of Delos rejoiced that it had a new patron god. Delos put down roots and anchored itself in the sea so that it wouldn't move around anymore.
"And it was also fed up moving here and there." Dionysus added.
The island covered itself with golden flowers in honor of the golden god Apollo. If you visit Delos today, you can still see those fields of wildflowers stretching out among the ruins,
"Those saved my life, or is it returned me back to my life?" Leo asked.
though thankfully Apollo doesn't play the trumpet there very often.
"But at least I'm better than you." Apollo gave a crooked grin.
"What are you trying to say?" Percy asked.
"I've heard how you're singing in the bathroom!" Apollo said. Percy flushed. "Can't hide anything under sunlight!" He teased.
Apollo grew with super-speed. In about a week, he'd become a regular adult god,
"Gods do that." Zeus whispered.
which meant he totally skipped school, got an honorary diploma, and stopped aging when he looked twenty-one years old. Then he stayed that way forever.
"Ah, yes." Apollo flashed a radiant smile. "Jealous?" He asked.
Not a bad deal, if you ask me.
"He seems to be." Frank said.
His first act was to avenge his mother for her pain and suffering while she was trying to find a place to give birth.
"Go Apollo!" Hephaestus cheered.
Sadly, he couldn't destroy Hera, since she was the queen of heaven and all,
"High and Mighty
Hera the cranky
Undefeatable." Nico sang.
but when he heard about the giant snake Python who'd chased his mother out of Delphi, Apollo was enraged.
"Someone's angry!" Hermes said.
"Be right back," he told Leto.
"For the dinner, I guess. Leto cookies are tasty." Aphrodite said.
Apollo flew to Delphi
"Can he fly?" Jason asked.
(yes, he could fly)
"Why little bro, I'm offended. We both are look alike, after all." Apollo smiled. "Even though you're less significant than me."
and called out Python.
"Yo, snake!"
"That's how you called him out?" Hades asked, with a mocking smile on his lips.
Python opened his eyes. "What do you want?"
"He appears to be bored." Demeter said.
"To sing you a song about my awesomeness!"
"I thought you just shot him?" Artemis asked.
"Oh, please. Just kill me now."
"He doesn't have any sense of drama it seems." Dionysus said. "Just kill him."
"Okay!" Apollo drew his bow and shot the snake between the eyes.
"Apollo the awesome
Slayed Python the gruesome
I'm taken." Nico angrily glared at Apollo, who was chuckling into his palms.
Then he sang a song about his awesomeness.
"Like a boss!" Hephaestus said.
He threw the snake's body into a fissure below the cave, where it rotted eternally and spewed all kinds of cool odors.
"It wasn't easy slaying the Python though." Apollo admitted. "It took me every ounce of godly strength, and I still have nightmares till this day."
Apollo took over the Oracle of Delphi. He welcomed back the priests and the pilgrims.
"Did they have a party, or something?" Grover asked.
Because the Oracle had once belonged to his grandmother, Phoebe, he was sometimes called Phoebus Apollo.
"Phoebus is a beautiful name." Demeter said. Apollo gave Demeter an amused look.
The main priestess who told the future became known as the Pythia, after the snake Python. Or maybe she was called that because she spoke a bunch of rot.
"Second reason!" Demigods said.
Anyway, she would get her prophecies straight from the god Apollo, and the lines would always be riddles or bad poetry, or both.
"Why do you degrade my poetry so much?" Apollo asked. "I'm hurt."
She dwelt in the cave where the snake had died.
"Must have been stinky." Piper said.
Usually she sat on a three-legged stool next to one of the big fissures that vented gross volcanic gas, which smelled of dead snakes.
"Gross." Hazel said.
If you made an offering, the Pythia would tell your fortune or answer any question. That didn't mean you would understand the answer. If you did understand it, you probably wouldn't like it.
"Did Python do something to fortune cookies?" Leo asked.
Apollo claimed his place among the Olympian gods, and even Hera didn't dare object. He just looked so…godly.
"I am." Apollo declared. "By the way Percy, I have read a bit further, why are you so biased against me and so biased towards Artemis?"
Percy had no answers.
"Guess what? My future son-in-law's haiku time is over. Now its your haiku time, since I'm a nice guy." Apollo snapped his fingers.
"Wow. Thanks. I'm not angry with you cause we'll have a nice video by the end of chapter!" Nico said, taking a camera from Leo.
"Nico the wonderful son of Hades
You're so adorable for the gods' sake
Please don't do that." Percy said.
He was as tall and muscular and bronze as a Baywatch lifeguard. He kept his blond hair long, but tied back in a man bun so it didn't interfere with his archery. He sauntered around Olympus in his gleaming robes with his bow and arrow, winking at the ladies and high-fiving the dudes, or sometimes winking at the dudes and high-fiving the ladies. Apollo didn't care. He figured everybody loved him.
"Yep, that's why we cool dudes stick together." Hermes said.
He was great with poetry and music…or at least, some people liked it.
"Its only you dislike him Kelp head. He is a decent singer." Thalia said. "He's quite popular in camp fires, we all sing together. Besides, he likes Green day."
"Thalia Grace, lieutenant of hunt
Fan of the Green day band
Take my side!" Percy demanded.
"Oh no." Thalia smirked.
Me, I'm more of a straight-ahead rock 'n' roll kind of guy,
"I get it!" Apollo said. "You dislike me because I joked you about being too fishy, and didn't give the Sun chariot to ride, am I right?"
"Apollo the slayer of Python
God of pretty much everything
You're so full of yourself." Percy said.
However, Apollo grinned. "That's my speciality."
but whatever. Apollo was always popular at parties, because he could entertain you with songs, tell your fortune, and even do cool trick shots with his bow, like intercepting a dozen Ping-Pong balls at once or shooting a wine cup off Dionysus's head.
"My favourite hobbies at parties." Apollo grinned.
Apollo also became the god of shepherds and cowherds. Why?
"Exactly that's what I was going to ask you." Frank said.
You got me.
"Means you don't know exactly." Jason said.
Obviously Apollo liked premium cuts of meat. He raised the finest cattle in the world. Everybody wanted to steal them, but Apollo kept them under constant guard.
"I simply love them." Apollo said. "They're like most of normal people. Get it?"
If anybody got near his sacred herd, they were likely to start World War C
"World war cow?" Demeter chuckled to her palm.
(for cow).
When Apollo got mad, he didn't mess around. He could punish any mortal anywhere in the world simply by drawing his bow and firing.
"More like three fates' ,orders." Apollo said. "They bring me some hit list every year, and I have to shoot them with plague arrows. I'm one of balancers of human population. Plague and all."
The arrow would arc through the sky and find its mark, no matter how far away.
"He's that good." Hephaestus said. "Only Artemis can match him."
If Apollo was hanging out in Greece and some guy in Spain muttered, "Apollo is stupid!"…BAM! One dead Spanish guy.
"See that Percy?" Apollo teased.
"My own words in the book
Were being used against me
How lucky am I?" Percy groaned.
The arrow would be invisible, too—so the other mortals would never know what hit him.
"After the hit, it vanishes." Artemis said.
In Ancient Greece, anytime somebody dropped dead unexpectedly, they assumed Apollo had struck him down—maybe as a punishment, maybe as a reward for one of the guy's enemies.
"Mostly, your name is on the hit list." Apollo said.
Considering that, this is going to sound strange: Apollo was the god of healing.
"Not strange. If you are the god of plague, you also know how to cure them." Hephaestus said. "Like I have to be the god of fire."
If you wanted Band-Aids or Advil, Apollo could help you out. But he also had power over plagues and epidemics. He could cure or kill off an entire army or a whole nation.
"Well, I thought Artemis was the powerful twin from them, but I'm not much sure now." Grover said.
"Artemis has some power over plague. Yet its limited to some point." Annabeth explained.
If he got mad, he'd shoot a special arrow that exploded into a foul vapor and spread smallpox or black plague or anthrax.
"Here it is!" Apollo raised a small crystal arrow."
"Kinda like William Tell's arrow." Leo said.
If a zombie apocalypse ever comes around, you'll know who to blame.
"Apollo and Hades." Poseidon said. "Sunshine and shadows."
Apollo was the god of so many different things, even the Greeks got confused. They'd be like, "Hmm, I forgot who the god of basket weaving is. Must be Apollo!"
"I'm a multi talented guy. What can I say?" Apollo said.
Maybe that's why, later on, the Greeks and Romans started calling Apollo the god of the sun.
"Yeah, poor Helios faded after he lost faith in himself." Hephaestus said. "He was jealous and full with angst."
That was actually Helios's job, but the mortals sort of forgot about Helios and decided to give Apollo the sun chariot instead. Since Apollo was all flashy and golden like the sun, it made sense.
"It does." Artemis muttered.
In this book, though, let's not think of him as the sun god. The dude's got enough other stuff on his plate.
"Move on." Dionysus said lazily.
Plus, the idea of Apollo driving the sun chariot freaks me out,
"Afraid of our ol' daddy?" Apollo teased.
'cause you know he'd be talking on his cell phone most of the time with the radio cranked to max, the subwoofers rattling the whole chariot. He'd have his dark shades on and be checking out the ladies like, How you doing?
"The coolest part of being the sun god, I guess." Zeus muttered.
Anyway, his symbols were the bow and arrow—no surprise. Later, when the lyre (like a small harp) was invented, that was his symbol too.
"Naturally." Demeter said.
The main thing to know about Apollo: never underestimate the guy.
"Why, I'm flattered." Apollo said.
One day he might be the god of limericks and stupid earworm songs and first-aid classes. The next day he's the god of chemical weapons and world-destroying plagues.
"Welcome to the club, Apollo." Poseidon greeted.
"Thanks uncle P." Apollo said.
And you thought Poseidon had a split personality.
"My Split personality can be worse." Poseidon said.
Apollo wouldn't kill you for no reason. He just didn't need much of a reason.
"I'm the god of reason." Apollo said.
Example: One time his mom, Leto, was coming to see him at Delphi. Along the way she got harassed by a giant named Tityos.
"Wonderful name." Piper said sarcastically.
I know. Terrible name, Tityos. Nothing I can do about that.
"You could have. You're the narrator." Hazel said.
Anyway, Tityos was a nasty piece of work. He was one of Zeus's most monstrous kids.
"Kid of Zeus and Echidna?" Hephaestus asked.
His mom was your typical mortal princess, Elara;
"Mortal princess? Then how?" Jason asked.
but when she was pregnant, Zeus had the brilliant idea of hiding her from Hera by sticking her in an underground cave.
"Nice one Zeus." Hades drawled.
"Its not healthy." Apollo said.
Something about the cave vapors made Elara's unborn child grow ugly and so huge that his mom's body simply couldn't contain him.
"Poor princess." Aphrodite said.
It's a little disgusting, but…well, KA-BLAM! Elara died.
"Agree with Aphrodite there." Demeter said.
However, the child kept growing until the entire cave became his incubation chamber.
"Gaea's work?" Hephaestus suspected.
Then Gaea, good old Dirt Face herself, decided to be Tityos's surrogate mom. She completed his training in the Dark Side.
"She could have granted him immortality, but oddly enough didn't." Athena said. "Superiority complex?"
When Tityos finally emerged from the earth, he looked less like the son of Zeus and more like the son of Frankenstein's monster.
"Basically, he sort of looked like Hulk." Apollo said.
Anyway, Hera got hold of him and figured she could use this giant to get her long-awaited revenge on Leto.
"Hera may fade, but her ideas of revenge never fades." Hermes said.
"Hey, Tityos," Hera said to him one day.
"Hello to you too." Frank said.
"Blood!" Tityos screamed. "Meat and blood!"
"How about bones?" Nico asked.
"Yes," Hera said. "Those are very nice. But how about a pretty wife for you too?"
"That's sick." Athena said.
"Meat!"
"Okay. Maybe later. A woman will be walking this way soon, heading to Delphi. She just loves it when big strong giants try to abduct her and drag her to their underground lair. Interested?"
"Nice way of being matchmaker Hera. You blew my little heart." Dionysus said.
Tityos scratched his massive head. "Blood?"
"Seems like a guy of my type." Ares smiled. "But of course, I give my priority to Aphrodite." He added immediately.
"Why, certainly." Hera smiled. "If she resists, shed all the blood you want!"
"Yay!" Demeter cheered sarcastically.
Tityos agreed, so Hera gave him a cookie for good behavior and left him lying in wait on the road to Delphi.
"Ancient Greeks used cookies for negotiations." Hestia joked.
Soon Leto came along, and Tityos leaped out to grab her.
"Oh no, you don't!" Apollo and Artemis said.
Thanks to her experience with Python, Leto had had a lot of practice running away from monsters, and this time she wasn't pregnant.
"Phew." Nico muttered.
She dodged the giant and took off full-speed for Delphi.
"Hey, son?" she yelled. "A little help back here?"
"Our mother was attacked by that giant, and that's a good reason to Apollo to hunt him down." Artemis said. "Who dares to say otherwise?"
Apollo heard his mother's call. He grabbed his bow and fired. THWACK. Tityos bit the dirt with a golden arrow straight through his heart.
"And that, was that." Hermes said.
But that revenge was too quick for Apollo. He went down to see Hades in the Underworld and said, "This guy Tityos…I guess he still counts as a mortal demigod.
"Didn't he went to Tartarus? After all, he is a monster, right?" Piper asked.
"Oddly enough, he didn't." Apollo said. "He had a spirit."
Not sure. Anyway, if his spirit shows up, torture him for me. Something cool…like Zeus did with Prometheus. Except not with an eagle. Maybe vultures, or something."
"I would forget the entire thing for boxing match!" Ares exclaimed. "Can I watch it, please?"
"Anything for my bro. Lets rule the underworld. After the book, pack bags. You, me, Aphrodite, Hermes and anyone else who like to tag along! Of course uncle H would allow, right?" Apollo said.
"You shall promise me on Styx that you wouldn't flirt with Styx." Hades said.
"I'll do that." Apollo said.
"Vultures, or something?" Hades asked.
"Yeah! Perfect!"
Hades must not have been feeling very creative, because he followed Apollo's suggestion exactly.
"It was already a creative idea." Hades shrugged. "I can add something else to your eternal punishment if you ever to come to fields of punishment. How about some good limericks too?" He whispered devilishly.
"Lord Hades, god of underworld
The supreme lord of dead n' darkness
Please pardon me." Percy said.
When the spirit of Tityos turned up, the giant was convicted of assaulting Leto. He was sent to the Fields of Punishment, where he was chained down, given a regenerating liver, and cut open so that vultures could feast on it forever.
"Happily ever after?" Dionysus asked.
"Yes, you can say that." Hades confirmed.
(I think Prometheus filed a copyright infringement suit later on.)
"He was paid ten thousand drachmas. Case closed. Move on." Hermes said.
Another time, Apollo avenged an insult by committing mass murder. That seems fair, right? The queen of Thebes, a lady named Niobe,
"Wait! Hold on. Percy is putting the entire weight of blame on Apollo." Demeter said. "Artemis participated in the event too and commit the mass murder alongside him."
"Basically what I said. He's being biased." Apollo complained.
"People have preferences
And their own bias
Life isn't fair." Percy sang.
had fourteen kids—seven boys and seven girls. The children were all healthy and attractive and made good grades in school, so Niobe was always bragging about them.
"Fourteen kids huh? That's surprising." Leo said.
You've probably met moms like that. You say, "Yeah, I scored a goal in the soccer game last night." And she says, "Oh, that's nice. All fourteen of my children are the captains of their teams, and they make straight A's and can play the violin." And you just want to smack her.
"Cedric Diggory's father, Amos." Nico said. "Though Cedric tried to correct him, he just kept bragging on. But that's his way of showing love to his child, I guess."
Well, Niobe was that lady. One day the city of Thebes had a festival in honor of Leto. The priests were praising the Titan for being so beautiful and courageous and giving birth to not one but two amazing gods, Apollo and Artemis. As the prayers were going on and on, Queen Niobe couldn't stand it anymore.
"Someone has a jealous issues." Aphrodite said.
"Oh, that's not so special!" she said to the audience. "I don't think Leto's any more beautiful or courageous than I am.
"She's thousand times than you." Apollo and Artemis said.
"You know, you're speaking to a book." Hermes pointed out.
Besides, she only had two children. I had fourteen amazing children!"
O-o-o-o-kay. Bad move.
"Offending gods was in her blood. Her father was Tantalus." Hera said.
Audiance gasped.
Halfway across the world, Apollo and Artemis heard the insult and came flying with their bows at the ready.
"Yet this achievement was carted into Apollo's chapter and the blame of murdering those children was entirely weighed upon his shoulders. I see why Apollo said you're being biased against him." Aphrodite said.
They descended on Thebes and a wave of terror spread across the city. Everyone turned to stone except for the queen and her family.
"Like Medusa stone?" Piper asked.
"Nah, just your ordinary Petrificus Totalus." Nico said.
"Proud of your kids?" Apollo bellowed. "Maybe we need to put things in perspective for you."
"You're giving my lines to Apollo." Artemis complained.
He shot seven golden arrows and murdered all of Niobe's sons on the spot. Artemis shot down all seven of the daughters.
"And we thought you were the god of youths and goddess of maidens. Sole protectors of them." Hestia chided.
"I'm not proud of it." Apollo said.
"Me neither." After a short silence, Artemis said too.
Thalia gave a fearful look at Artemis. Even though Apollo struck down those young men, he never carried a gang of youths with him. However, Artemis gave her a reassuring look.
Niobe's husband, the king, wailed in outrage, drew his sword, and charged at Apollo, so the god struck him down too.
"The man who just lost his fourteen children should do that.
Niobe's heart was shattered. She fled to a mountain in Asia Minor—the country we call Turkey— and wept for years and years, until finally she turned to rock.
"Poor woman. Her life was destroyed by the gods." Piper pitied. "All for a small tolerance problem of two gods and her bad mouth."
The Greeks used to visit the spot on Mount Sipylus where a weathered sandstone figure of a woman stood, water seeping from its eyes.
Maybe she's still there.
"Tragic." Dionysus said.
As for her dead family, they weren't buried for nine days. The bodies just lay in the streets of Thebes, attracting flies and getting grosser and more, um, python, while the rest of the townspeople were frozen as statues.
"All the prayers to Leto. They were wasted." Nico shook his head.
Finally, Zeus took pity on Thebes. He unfroze the people and allowed them to bury the royal family.
"Thank Zeus." Hazel said.
Nobody in Thebes ever insulted Leto again, but I'm pretty sure Apollo and Artemis weren't very popular there, either.
"They stopped worshipping us." Artemis frowned.
And still Apollo could find new and horrifying ways to punish people.
"Are you underrating my methods, Perseus?" Artemis asked.
The most horrible thing he did was to the satyr Marsyas.
"In my youth, yes. But I feel dirty of that deed. I was suppose to be the god of philosophy and yet.." Apollo sighed heavily.
This goat-legged dude lived in Phrygia, over in Asia Minor, kind of near the spot where Niobe turned to stone.
"One victim after another." Ares said cheerfully.
One day Marsyas was trotting along the riverbank, minding his own business,
"And eating loads of tin cans." Nico added. Grover flushed.
when he spotted a strange instrument lying in the grass. It happened to be the flute Athena had made—the very first one in the world.
"That's why!" Apollo exclaimed. "That's why I wanted to kill him so bad! I didn't know what possesed me to flay him. I would have cut his horns usually, but-" he trailed off.
Maybe you remember that the other goddesses teased her about the way she looked when she played it, so she threw it off Olympus and swore that anyone who played it would suffer a terrible fate.
"Flashback." Annabeth said.
Well, poor Marsyas didn't know that. It wasn't like Athena had put a warning label on it.
"You should have." Hermes said to Athena.
The satyr picked up the flute and began to play. Since it had been filled with the breath of a goddess, the flute sounded amazing.
"Even though she looked somewhat weird playing it." Aphrodite teased.
In no time, Marysas had mastered the fingering and was playing so beautifully, all the nature nymphs for miles around came to hear him.
"Naturally." Grover said.
Pretty soon he was signing autographs. He scored six number-one hits on Billboard. His YouTube channel attracted seven million followers, and his first album went platinum in Asia Minor.
"And he created a new dancing sensation. Two footed-goat dance." Dionysus said. "It's quite popular among Satyrs."
Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. But he got popular for his music. His fame spread.
"You always do that." Jason said.
Apollo didn't like that. He only had five number-one hits on Billboard. He didn't want some stupid satyr on the cover of Rolling Stone when it should have been him.
"I only heard that he was bragging about his skills are better than me. No different to what Athena did." Apollo said.
Apollo came down to Phrygia and floated invisibly above the crowd that had gathered to hear Marsyas play. The guy was good, no question. That made Apollo even angrier.
"Like a half sister, like a half brother." Hephaestus commented.
He waited and listened, knowing it was only a matter of time….
"No, actually I enjoy good music." Apollo said.
Soon enough, a starry-eyed nymph in the front row screamed, "Marsyas, you're the new Apollo!"
"Fangirls bring musicians death and destruction." Hermes said.
The praise went right to Marsyas's head. He winked at the nymph. "Thanks, babe. But seriously, whose music do you like better—Apollo's, or mine?"
"Wrong question, dude." Jason said.
The crowd cheered wildly—until Apollo appeared on stage in a blaze of golden light. Everyone went absolutely silent.
"He got to choose the flashy way." Athena muttered.
"What a great question, Marsyas!" Apollo cried. "Was that a challenge? 'Cause it sounded like a challenge."
"Apollo seems to lost his cool very quickly and unnaturally." Hephaestus frowned.
"Uh…Lord Apollo…I didn't—I wasn't—"
"That's what all Satyrs say." Dionysus drawled.
"A music contest, you say?" Apollo grinned ear to ear. "I accept! We'll let the crowd choose who is better, and just to make things interesting, the winner can do whatever he wants to the loser— demand any price, inflict any punishment! How does that strike you?"
"Arachne vs Athena, again and again. But this was brutal than that." Nico said.
Marsyas turned pale, but the crowd cheered and hollered in approval. Funny how quickly a flute concert can turn into a public execution.
"Yeah. Not for Marsyas though." Grover said. "Or any satyr. This is a bit of traumatizing."
Marsyas didn't have much choice, so he played the best he could. His flute music brought tears to the nymphs' eyes. The satyrs in the audience cried, held torches in the air, and bleated like baby goats.
"Torches? Couldn't have been starry as nowadays, could it?" Thalia asked.
Apollo followed with a song on his lyre (which had been invented by this time—more on that later).
He strummed and sang and did a blazing extended solo. The girls in the front row fainted.
"Due to the horrible tone of music?" Artemis teased.
The audience roared enthusiastically.
"You got your reply there, Arty." Apollo said.
"Don't call me Arty!" Artemis glared.
It was impossible to tell who had won the contest. Both musicians were equally talented.
"Tiebreaker." Poseidon said.
"Well…" Apollo scratched his head. "Tiebreaker, then. Let's see who can do the best trick playing."
"Trick playing with a flute?" Athena asked. "You just tricked him."
Marsyas blinked. "Trick playing?"
"Sure, you know. Fancy moves! Showmanship! Can you do this?"
"Musicians need those to the perfection." Apollo said.
Apollo put his lyre behind his head and played a tune without even looking at the strings. The crowd went nuts. Apollo windmilled his arms. He slid across the stage on his knees while shredding sixteenth notes, then hit the reverb button on his lyre and leaped into the mosh pit, ripping out a solo as the crowd pushed him back onto the stage.
"With the lyre? That's brilliant!" Thalia said.
The applause died down after about an hour. Apollo grinned at Marsyas. "Can you do that?"
"With a flute?" Marsyas cried. "Of course not! That's not fair!"
"He's truly getting my influence." Hermes said.
"Then I win!" Apollo said. "I have just the punishment for you. See, Marsyas, you think you're special, but you're a fad. I'll be famous forever. I'm immortal. You? All glitter, no gold. Scratch the surface, and you're just another mortal satyr—flesh and blood. I'm going to prove that to the crowd."
"Athena's flute brought
Apollo's wrath forth
Satyr boom." Percy sang.
Marsyas backed up. His mouth tasted like python slime. "Lord Apollo, let me apologize for—"
"He's not going to listen." Hestia grimaced with horror.
"I'm going to flay you alive!" Apollo said cheerfully. "I'm going remove your skin, so we can all see what's underneath!"
"I know that I would have nightmares when I hit the bed." Aphrodite said.
Grossed out yet? Yeah. It was pretty horrible.
"Not that much to me." Ares said, gulping down a hotdog.
Marsyas suffered a grisly death just because he dared to make music as good as Apollo's.
"And Athena's curse was messing with the whole thing." Apollo said. "I wouldn't put the entire blame on that though, what I did was...wrong. "
The satyr's body was buried in a cave near the site of the music contest, and his blood became a river that gushed down the side of the hill.
"It happens when a nature spirit dies." Grover said.
Apollo made the cover of Rolling Stone. From his smiling face, you'd never guess the guy sewed curtains out of satyr skin.
"Most dangerous people doesn't look dangerous." Hermes said. "And that ladies and gentlemen, also-" he looked at Ares who was adding extra sauce to his chips and eating them like a hungry wolf. "-not so gentle- men; the advice number nine."
Final thing about Apollo: he was a confirmed bachelor and a real ladies' man.
"He is." Poseidon said.
Hey, a mass murdering psychopath who plays the lyre? It doesn't get much more charming than that!
"You can say that." Demeter said, giving a secretive look at Apollo.
According to some stories, he dated each of the Nine Muses—the goddesses who oversaw different kinds of art, like tragedy, comedy, docudrama, and whatever.
"Happens when you're the god of arts." Apollo said.
Apollo couldn't decide between them. They were all too lovely; so he vowed never to marry, just date around.
"And the nine muses and Apollo sired Tyr, who's the watchman of Egypt." Dionysus said.
Only once was he tempted to break that promise. He fell in love and got his heart broken—and it was his own fault.
"Yeah, but what you never knew this, Percy. She was my girlfriend!" Apollo exclaimed.
Percy looked like someone hit his face.
"Move on, Apples. You can tell us later what happened after listening to the modified version of Percy." Hermes said.
One afternoon Apollo happened to be walking through the palace at Mount Olympus when he ran across Eros, Aphrodite's son.
"Not another contest, is it?" Athena asked.
"Actually, we had a contest, which I won; and Pan witnessed." Apollo said.
The hit man of love was sitting on a window ledge restringing his bow.
"After shooting many suckers. That's my son!" Ares cheered.
The kid looked so young, his bow so tiny, that Apollo burst out laughing.
"He was the one who came asking the challenge, I swear on river Styx!" Apollo vowed. Thunder rambled. The oath was accepted.
"I was heard another version
My dear lord Apollo
Pardon me." Percy sang.
"Yeah, it happens all time. I accept your poetic apology." Apollo said.
"Oh my gods!" Apollo wiped a tear from his eye. "You call that a bow? Those arrows look like darts. How can you hit anything?"
"He does the job well, thank you." Ares said.
Eros was seething inside, but he managed a smile. "I do all right."
"Correction. Better than all right." Nico said.
"This is a bow, kid!" Apollo pulled out his own golden longbow, made by Hephaestus. "My enemies tremble when they see me coming. I can destroy anyone with a single arrow from any distance! You…well, I suppose you'd be a fearsome gerbil hunter."
"Eros the gerbil hunter!" Aphrodite laughed loudly. "He would be so pissed off."
Apollo strode off, still laughing.
"May I have your permission?" Apollo asked from audiance. Audiance went into a pin drop silence immediately.
"What actually happened was this. I met Daphne and we both fell in love with each other. I was going to marry her, and Eros was jealous about the whole thing. He came to me asking for a contest to humiliate me, which I won." He cleared his throat. "Then he shot me with a golden arrow and Daphne with a lead arrow."
Aphrodite gasped. "The lead arrow means rejection and golden arrow means attraction. That means-"
"Yes." Apollo said bitterly. "And Percy put a lesson of not to brag with another version of the myth, probably the one which Eros' worshippers believed.
Artemis gave her brother a soothing soft look, first time in this millenium. The audiance copied her, giving pitiful looks at the sun god.
Eros gritted his teeth. He muttered to himself, "We'll see about that, Mr. Big Shot. Maybe you can bring down your enemies, but I can bring down you."
"How about shooting him with a plague arrow, brother?" Artemis asked.
The next morning Apollo was walking by the riverside in Thessaly, just playing his lyre and enjoying the sunshine,
" Autopilot mode." Apollo said sadly.
when Eros shot an arrow straight into Apollo's heart.
"Invisible and effective." Aphrodite said. "I apologize on behalf of my son."
By chance, a naiad was bathing nearby—one of the daughters of the local river spirit. Her name was Daphne. By anybody's standards, Daphne was beautiful. Most naiads were. But the moment Apollo saw her, he thought she was even hotter than Aphrodite. All the other women he'd dated suddenly seemed like complete losers. Apollo decided he had to marry Daphne.
"Lot more people under the magic of Eros has that effect. Maybe Eros hit Artemis with a lead arrow too so she rejects romance?" Demeter asked.
Artemis narrowed her eyes.
Sadly, like a lot of smart nymphs, Daphne had long ago sworn off dating gods, because bad things happened to their girlfriends. Not all the time, maybe. Just, like, 99.9 percent of the time.
"I think you need to learn about percentages, Percy." Annabeth said.
"Hey!" Apollo called out. "What's your name?"
Daphne leaped out of the water and wrapped herself in her robe. "I'm—I'm Daphne. Please, go away."
"Her name is Daphne please go away huh?" Hermes asked.
"Oh, Daphne Please-Go-Away," Apollo said, "I love you! Marry me, and I will make you the happiest naiad in the universe."
"Simple and nice proposal." Grover muttered.
"No."
"I insist! Come; let me kiss you. I will prove my affection and…Hey, where are you going?"
Daphne ran.
"Poor Apollo." Hestia said.
Apollo was fast, but Daphne was faster. Apollo was burdened with his bow and his lyre and he was dazed with love, so he kept stopping to compose new haiku in her honor.
Apollo's eyes were red, as he snapped his fingers.
"Daphne the magnificent
Fair of all the nymphs
Worthy of Apollo." Percy sang.
Eventually, though, Daphne began to tire. She reached a cliff that looked out over a canyon. Apollo climbed the slope behind her. There was no way Daphne could double back.
"Trapped." Hephaestus said.
That left her with two options: leap to her death, or agree to marry Apollo. Hearing him spout love poetry, she thought leaping off the cliff sounded pretty good.
"She tried to fight of Eros' arrow and tripped off from the cliff, and Gaea turned her into a Loral tree!" Apollo said.
In desperation, she tried one last thing: "Oh, Gaea, protector of all nature spirits, hear me! Save me from becoming this god's girlfriend!"
"And old dirt face comes into action." Leo spat.
Gaea took pity on Daphne. Just as Apollo reached the cliff and threw his arms around the naiad, Daphne changed into a laurel tree.
"She fell from the cliff!" Apollo restrained his tears.
Apollo found himself hugging a tree trunk, caressing arms that had turned into branches, running his hands through hair that had become leaves.
"Transformed before my very eyes." Apollo gave Leo the book to read, as he covered his face with hands. Then he began to sob. .
Leo began to read, as Artemis put a comforting hand around Apollo's shoulders awkwardly.
Apollo sobbed in despair. "Oh, beautiful naiad! I will never forget you. You were my one true love. You should have been my wife! I failed to win your love, but from now until the end of time, you will be a symbol of victory. Your leaves shall adorn my head, and I will totally start a new fashion trend!"
" Totally start a new fashion trend?" Poseidon barely bit back his laughter.
That's why you'll often see pictures of Greeks and Romans wearing laurel wreaths on their heads.
"Ceasar isn't being punched by Asterix and others because he wears a laurel wreath." Nico theorised.
Apollo made it stylish. Laurels became a sign of honor. If you won a contest or a sporting event, you got to wear laurels. If you conquered an enemy nation, more laurels! If you got tired of doing amazing deeds and you had enough wreaths to stuff a mattress, you could retire and rest on your laurels!
"Living life with laurels." Frank stated.
All because Apollo bragged about his big fancy golden bow.
"I get it. He seems to like me because I'm not about bragging." Artemis said. "Though I warn you, if you're going to be a typical male and try to make any attempts to woo me in the story-"
Artemis brought her finger across her throat.
Eros had the last laugh, but generally speaking, Apollo was right to brag. He was the best archer in the world. Only one person was as good as he was, maybe even better.
"Nope, I have seen both in action. They both are as good as each other." Hermes said.
That would be his sister Artemis. If you want to read about her, fine.
"You fear me?" Artemis asked in a satisfied voice.
But, guys—be on your best behavior.
"Why do we?" Hades drawled lazily.
I'm warning you now: Artemis doesn't have a sense of humor.
"Oh no she has. But in a wicked sense. Just like her dad." Zeus said. "Apollo!" He addressed his son.
"Hah?" Apollo rasped. His eyes were red.
"You may try release your lover from loral tree. Gaea was destroyed and her earth magic is weak for the tree. Demeter, Artemis and Dionysus will help you with that, and Aphrodite will help you with the lead arrow." He said in a pitiful voice.
"Hah?" Apollo's eyes closed and he slumped on the throne, unconscious.
"Guess it shocked him a bit." Zeus shrugged. Artemis took the book from Leo.
"Wait!" Athena said. "What's your secret, Poseidon?"
Poseidon gave a mysterious smile, and began to talk. "Well, lets just say, Artemis and Apollo had an immortal godly half-brother."
Audiance gasped as Poseidon continued. "He was Percy's real namesake. Perseus, the god of evil, manipulation and destruction; future slayer of Hades, Artemis, Athena and Hestia, bound to fight Apollo and slay each other. The one who bound to ally with Tartarus to bring the end of the world."
...
A/N
Expected that? A son of Poseidon and Leto who is going to bring the havoc. What will Olympians do?
Apollo was pretty tuff. Percy was somewhat...against him, as I felt, while he was genuine about Apollo's twin sister. Speaking of which, Artemis is up next. I don't like this goddess very much (even if I'm a girl) , but I would try my best to give her the justice she deserves. She has some good qualities which I agree with.
I used some of leaves of prank-mcprank. Thank you for your ideas. Send me some more.
Stay safe, love you guys.