Title: Raising Amelia

Author: PreppyPrincess5103

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: One-night stands can have lifelong repercussions.

Notes: I'm back! I've been struggling with writer's block for months when it came to this story. Every time I'd sit down to write, nothing would come out. I blame stress. I also blame the fact that this story is almost at its end (3-4 more parts after this one), and I'm not quite ready to say goodbye yet.

Part Twenty-Two

December 22

"Jesus, Harm. It looks like Christmas exploded in here."

He snorted and watched as she turned in a circle, inspecting the apartment. He put a squirming Amelia down, and moved closer to Mac to take her coat. He slid the thick red material off of her shoulders and placed a quick kiss on her neck. She turned her head to beam at him, and then moved further into the living room. There was a huge tree with an insane amount of presents, garland and lights framing the doors, windows and fireplace, red and white Christmas pillows on his masculine sofa, and a large photo of Amelia and Santa was matted, framed and sat in the center of the mantle, with red stockings on either side of it.

"Obviously Lily did all of this. I asked if she could pick up some things to make the apartment feel more festive for Amelia's first Christmas. She obviously ran with it."

Mac walked over to the bookcase and grinned. She would have loved to have seen Harm's face when he walked in and saw a tiny Santa figurine leaning against the model airplane that looked just like Sarah. "She did a great job." Her fingers traced the embroidered names on the stockings. Maybe one day there'd be one for her hanging with these.

He watched her trace his name on one of the stockings and smiled. She may be the one that had occasional psychic moments, but he absolutely knew what she was thinking. Amelia picked that moment to approach her and tug at her leg. He watched Mac bend over to pick her up and do something to make her laugh. "Would you mind putting her down for a nap?" She turned to look at him and nodded. "I'm going to go get the rest of your bags out of the car."

"I'm definitely getting the better end of that deal," she teased. He rolled his eyes and reached for his keys while she headed to Amelia's room. He shoved his keys in his pocket and went to the tree and pulled a red box with a simple white bow out of the pile. He sat it on the kitchen counter and then headed down to the car. Mac would be here until January 2, so between clothes and Christmas gifts, she had needed three suitcases and a carry on to get everything here. He winced at the thought of the baggage fees she must have paid. He maneuvered the bags upstairs, pleased that he had gotten everything in one trip. When he unlocked the apartment door, he found Mac sitting at the kitchen counter, her fingers fidgeting with the white ribbon.

He slid the suitcases out of the way and approached her. "Is she already asleep?"

His tone was disbelieving, and she grinned. "I've told you – I'm the baby whisperer." He rolled his eyes again and she laughed. He moved closer and bent to give her a kiss. When they parted, she gestured at the gift that hadn't been there when they had arrived. "What's this?"

He shrugged. "Santa must have brought it when I stepped out." His tone was playful, and it warmed her insides. She had known this man for years, and had loved him for nearly as long, and had never seen him so light. Especially not at this time of the year. It was a joy to watch.

"Should I open it now?" He nodded, still smiling, and she pulled at the white ribbon. She picked up the lid, parted the tissue paper and gasped. It was a red velvet stocking, just like his and Amelia's. And her name was embroidered in the same shimmering gold thread. "Oh, Harm…" She took it out of the box and despite her best efforts a tear slid down her cheek.

He moved to her and cupped her face with his hands. "Is this okay? I know we don't want to move too fast, but-"

She shook her head and he stopped. She reached up and covered his hands with hers briefly, and then she looked back at the stocking. "I've never had a stocking like this before." She bit her lower lip, and then moved her finger over her own name. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

He gestured to the mantle with his chin. "Go hang it up. There's a hook hidden in all of that garland next to mine." He watched with a smile as she bit her lower lip, and slowly moved to the fireplace. She searched through the garland and found a small hook and gently hung the stocking. She could feel Harm getting closer and smiled when he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her to him. He leaned close to her ear, and feeling his warm breath sent shivers through her body. "It's going to be a good Christmas, Mac."

Christmas Eve

"Mac, can you get that?"

She looked up from the gift she was wrapping, and quickly stuck a piece of tape to hold her place. She opened the front door and beamed at Trish and Frank. They all exchanged hugs and kisses, and she stepped out of the way to let them into the apartment. They both carried huge shopping bags filled with more gifts, and Mac winced as she thought of the pile under the tree she was still adding to.

Frank began putting the gifts out, and Trish scanned the apartment. "Where's Amelia?"

Mac returned to the gift she had been wrapping. "Harm's getting her ready for tonight." They should be out in just a minute."

Trish went to the fridge and helped herself to a bottle of water. "I'm so happy all three of you will be with us in California next year. This weather is just horrible."

"Yeah, San Diego has me a little spoiled." Mac smiled and gestured to the stove. "Harm made some hot apple cider. It'll warm you up." Trish's face took on a wistful expression, and she moved to the stove and bent over the pot to breathe in the fragrance.

"Oh, this brings back memories." She looked around until she saw what she had been expecting – Sarah Rabb's recipe book. She poured two mugs and took one to Frank before turning back to Mac. "Did he tell you this is his grandmother's recipe?" Mac shook her head, and Trish smiled. "Sarah made this every Christmas Eve." She took a sip of the cider and closed her eyes. It tasted just like her mother-in-law's always had.

"Amelia, look who's here!"

They all turned and saw Harm and his daughter walking into the kitchen. Mac smiled as Amelia buried her head in her dad's neck, a little shy with people watching her. She was wearing the exact same dress little girls had been wearing on Christmas for years – black velvet top, red and black plaid satin skirt, and a thick red satin bow. She wore white tights, shiny black shoes, and she had a red bow clipped in her blonde curls, and she was the most beautiful child any of them had ever seen.

Trish sat her mug down and approached her son. "Merry Christmas, darling." She kissed his cheek and held out her arms to Amelia. "Want to come to nana, sweetheart?" She hesitated for a second before going to her grandmother, and Harm moved to give Frank a hug.

Once they parted, Frank moved to his wife's side so he could fawn over Amelia, and Harm stayed where he was and took in his surroundings. This was shaping up to be the best Christmas he'd had since he was a little boy.

They had a simple dinner at Harm's apartment, and then went to a Christmas Eve service led by Sturgis' father. Trish and Frank had been hesitant to attend church with them, since all of their friends would be there, but Harm convinced him that he wanted them there. He realized as he watched Frank walk out of the church bouncing a bundled-up Amelia that he had spent more time during the service watching his family than listening to the sermon. It was common knowledge that he had never been close to his stepfather, but he was appreciating him more and more every single day. He had raised a boy that had despised him most of the time and yet he had never showed him anything but kindness and generosity.

He took Mac's hand as they followed his parents to the car. He glanced at his watch and squeezed her hand, before leaning down to kiss her cheek. He unlocked the car as they approached and watched as they began strapping Amelia into her car seat. They secured her, and then themselves, and Harm started the car. He placed his hands on the steering wheel and stared off into space for a moment.

Mac reached over and ran a hand through his hair. "Are you okay?"

He looked at her and smiled softly before nodding. "Yeah. I'm okay." He turned in his seat to face his parents. "Do you guys mind if we make a stop before going home?"

Mac's eyes widened, and Trish nodded. "Of course, sweetheart."

Harm pulled out of his parking spot and made his way to the Vietnam Veterans Wall. He was quiet and listened as Mac and Frank talked about restaurants in San Diego, and then tuned them out so he could focus on his own thoughts. He had always wondered if his dad would be okay with him bringing the others with him to the wall. Would he resent Frank being there? Frank, who had been married to his wife for nearly 25 years. Frank, who had raised his son. Frank, who was now a doting grandfather to his granddaughter.

He pulled into a parking space near the wall and put the car into park. He knew his parents noticed the sign directing them, and everyone went quiet.

"Sweetheart, we'll just wait here while you go visit."

Harm looked at his mother and shook his head. "I'd really like it if you all were there with me."

Frank reached up and clapped him on the shoulder. "It would be an honor." Harm smiled at him and took the baby from his mother. They made their way to the familiar wall panel in silence, and everyone came to a stop behind him. They all stood there for quietly, no one sure what to say. Finally, Mac stepped forward and placed her gloved fingers on the engraved name. She traced over the familiar letters and said a silent thank you. She stood there for a minute more before turning and offering them all a slight smile. She went to Harm's side and reached for his free hand.

Frank wrapped his arm around his wife, and they stepped forward. Trish or Harm didn't know this, but when Harm was younger, he would stop by the wall every time he was in town on business. He would come here and tell Harm Sr. everything that was going on with Trish and his son. He felt that was the very least he could do. The first visit had been difficult. It wasn't as if he had been happy that Harm Sr. was gone, but Frank knew that if this horrible thing hadn't happened, he wouldn't have a life he loved with a woman he adored, and he felt guilty about that. But the visits got easier, and eventually Frank would talk to him as if he were an old friend.

They stood there in silence for a moment, then Trish moved away from him and placed her palm over the name. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart." She stepped away from the wall and looked at Harm. "Would you like us to take Amelia back to the car, so you can have a little privacy?"

Harm nodded. He handed her to Mac and gave her a quick kiss. "I'll meet you guys there in a few minutes." He gave Mac the keys and watched as they walked away. He turned back to the wall and stepped closer. "Hey dad. Merry Christmas." He waited for a couple to walk by, and he took a deep breath. "I hope it's okay that I brought the family with me tonight. I wanted to bring Amelia here at least once." He took another deep breath. "Dad, I'm not going to be back here for a long time. Grams was always convinced that there is a heaven and she always told me that you were up there watching out for me. If that's true, you already know that I'm moving to San Diego next month. I'm starting a new chapter with Mac and Amelia, and I'm excited about that. I just hate to leave you. I know you're not really here, but I've always felt you more here than in any other place. Even if I don't get to come here on Christmas' anymore, please don't think that I've forgotten about you, or that I love you less." He pulled a glove off of one hand and reached out to touch the marble. "I love you dad. And I'm going to make sure Amelia knows all about you when she's older." Harm stood there in silence for another minute and put his hand back in his glove and turned to go back to the rest of his family.

Mac took off her earrings and dropped them into the dish on Harm's dresser. He had been quiet since they left the wall. She wanted to respect his privacy and give him space. But she also wanted to offer comfort if that's what he needed. She watched as he took off his tie and then he walked over to her and put one hand on her waist, and the over at the base of her neck.

"Want me to unzip you?"

She nodded and he gave her zipper a gentle tug. He slid his hands inside the back of her dress and pressed his palms against her skin. Her skin was warm, and so soft, and he needed more. He moved his hands up her back to her shoulders and pushed the dress off. He stepped back and watched as she pulled the sleeves over her hands, and let the dress fall in a pile of gray silk on the floor. He moved closer, and spent a long moment taking in her loveliness. "You are so damned beautiful."

Mac knew what he was doing. Whenever his emotions started to get the better of him, he wanted to make love. It was an easy way for him to give himself to her, and when they were finished, he had a better grasp on his emotions. She hated that he did this. She wanted him to just let go. She wanted him to tell her everything on his mind, and cry or scream if he needed to. But she also loved that he did this. She loved that he had found a way to get the feelings he couldn't find the words to express. She smiled at him. She reached around to unhook the clasp of her bra and watched his eyes darken as the navy satin joined the dress on the floor. She moved her hands to her hips and started to slide down the navy panties when he stopped her. His larger hands covered hers and he lifted her, her legs going around his waist.

Harm carried them to the bed and dropped her carefully onto it. She sank into the white duvet and looked up at him as he hovered over her. Her eyes were clouded with want, and she lay there in nothing but tiny panties and the high heels with complicated straps she hadn't taken off yet.

He was still completely dressed, but his arousal was evident in the fitted pants, and then she began to ache; desperately needing him inside of her. "Harm, please."

Harm shook his head. "Patience." He scooted back to the edge of the bed and took one of her feet in his hands. She watched as his large hands fidgeted with the strap of one shoe, and then the other. He placed a soft kiss on one ankle and began moving up her leg. She whimpered as he got close and wanted to scream when he stopped and went and repeated his movements on her other leg. After what felt like an eternity, he finally looped his fingers through the sides of her panties and tugged them down.

"Are you ready to talk?"

He turned on his side to face her and rested a hand on her hip. "I kind of feel like I'm betraying my dad by moving away."

Mac's eyes widened and she sat up. "Oh Harm..."

Harm shook his head. "Logically I know it's crazy. He's not here." He shrugged. "But this is the closest I can be to him, and I'm leaving."

"Harm, no." Her voice was soft, and she put her hands on his shoulders. "No. You're leaving DC. You're not leaving him. He will always be with you. He's such a huge part of you." She brushed hair off of his damp forehead. "He lives on in you, and he'll live on in Amelia." She was quiet for a moment as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Is this because you're leaving DC, or because you're going to be much closer to your mom and Frank?"

He sighed and rolled onto his back. "Frank and I are getting closer, and I feel guilty for that." She started to speak, and he held up a hand. "I know it's crazy. Believe me, I know. If something were to happen to me, I would want you to move on, and I would want Amelia to have a dad. I'm sure my dad felt the same. At least I hope he would feel the same. I can't imagine anyone wanting their young wife to spend the next 60 or so years in mourning."

She curled up on his side and lay her head on his chest. "I wish I had something helpful to say."

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer. He wished he was better with words. He wished that he could tell her that just having her here was enough. Because it was. Having her here beside him, and Amelia in the next room was everything.

End Part 23