Chapter 20 - Finding a Path (Obi-Wan)

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Star Wars or any of the characters in it, though we wish we did. We only own the characters we have invented from Earth. =)

Author's Note: My sincere thanks to the third person who voted on our poll. And this is it! Remaking the Future is complete! =)

~ Amina Gila

"There has to be a way," groans Anakin for what feels like the hundredth time, and this time a sigh escapes me. He ignores me, as usual, and continues to pace back and forth in the living room like a caged animal.

"Wearing out the carpet isn't it though," I quip, and he scowls at me.

"The Force couldn't be this cruel!" he rages, and though I'm seriously tempted to tune him out, I don't. Instead, I pick up a datapad and begin to scroll through paperwork which needs my attention while letting Anakin continue to rant.

"It couldn't completely bar them from coming back, or us from going to them," he continues. Say that a couple more times, and you'll have successfully reached about ten thousand over the past six days.

I hum in agreement and keep scrolling. He doesn't even seem to notice. "I should be able to manipulate the Force to get us there," he grumbles, "I'm the Chosen One. The Force has to listen to me."

I look up and raise an eyebrow. "It has to listen to you, Anakin?" I question wryly, "I don't know where you get your ideas from. How about you sit down for a little bit and calm down? Perhaps you'll come up with something when you're not so worked up."

He throws himself down beside me, and I'm forced to suppress the desire to comment on how grown men really should not be sulking. "It's not fair," he whines what seems like less than two seconds later, expression dangerously close to pouting.

I sigh again. This is going to give me a headache. I just know it. Putting down the datapad, I turn to face him. "I miss them too," I admit, "But the Force brought them here to make changes, and now that they've succeeded, they need to go back to live their own lives. You must keep in mind that perhaps we are not meant to see them again."

"But –!" he begins, and I give him a look which effectively silences him.

"That does not mean that we cannot attempt to reach them, but you need to understand that we will be traversing dimensions," I explain, "That in and of itself is risky, even more so when we are making the connection without the Force's guidance."

"It wants me to find them," Anakin insists, blue eyes stormy, "I know it does."

Force help me. He is so incredibly childish at times, but I love him anyways. "I was not aware you were an expert at the Force's wants," I reply dryly, earning a fierce glare.

"We have to find them," he repeats stubbornly, "Ahsoka will hate me if we don't."

Of all the – "She will not hate you," I assure him, barely stopping myself from rolling my eyes. He is so dramatic all the time. "I know she's annoyed that she didn't get to meet them, but she was spending time with Kento and Mallie Marek, who let me remind you, are close friends of hers, especially after the Council expelled them because of their marriage."

If he wasn't sulking before, he definitely is now. "The sisters will be devastated if they don't see us again."

I give him an appraising look. "Why does it sound like you're trying to justify your reasons for finding them?" I question, suspiciously. He avoids my gaze, a sure sign that there's something going on his head which he's not inclined to share.

"Anakin?" I prod, mentally rechecking our conversation to see what could be bothering him. His lack of response tells me that he was – in fact – consciously or unconsciously trying to justify himself to me.

"You know that I want us to reach the sisters again, right?" I check, suspicion blooming inside of me. I hope I'm not right, but I probably am.

Our relationship has drastically improved, especially after the sisters intervened, but it's certainly not as close as it could be. Part of me is upset at myself for letting it deteriorate in the first place. It was something I could easily have prevented had I been more vigilant. Everything could have been prevented. I'm suddenly reminded of what Anakin confessed right after my return from Utapau several days ago when I pressed him about why he was acting so... unsettled.

**b**

"Anakin, talk to me." My tone is as demanding as it is begging. I know him. Something is bothering him tremendously, and it's eating at him.

His expression twists, and the vulnerability in it is like a physical blow. What could be troubling him so much? He exhales slowly, staring down at the floor, keeping his gaze away from me. I hate it when he does that – acts like I might hurt him. It's a habit from his childhood he never truly broke.

"They told me I became a monster." The words are rushed, a note of desperation in them. "I could have –" He can't even bring himself to finish the sentence.

I don't need to ask what he's talking about. The sisters told him what could have happened. Looking at the man in front of me, I don't see how he could be a monster, but I know he has the capability inside of him; we all do. Anakin has always been so emotional and caring, and that realization floors me. I should have known. I should have seen that he was slipping, but I didn't, so what kind of master does that make me?

"That's a different reality," I tell him firmly, "You are not a monster. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew –" He cuts himself off, eyes widening and taking the smallest step away from me. I close my eyes for a moment, slowly inhaling. Whatever this is won't be good. I know that much from experience. I don't want to push, but I think I probably should. If I had pushed him more before, we might not be in this mess.

"What is it?" I question warily.

"I can't – I don't want to talk about it, Master." The pleading look in his eyes is almost enough to make me give in, but I get the feeling I need to know.

"Anakin," I say flatly, "The truth has a habit of coming to light whether we like it or not, and I'd much rather hear it from you."

His eyes dart around the room, like he's trying to find an escape. None comes. A minute later, we're still standing there, and I'm still looking at him expectantly. He crosses his arms, rage flaring in his eyes, though it doesn't seem to be directed at me.

"They murdered my mother," he finally snarls in a low voice, "And I don't regret killing them." His expression is defiant when he meets my expectant gaze. I know him well enough to know that there's more to the story. "I killed every single one of them, and I would do it again."

I won't bother denying that it horrifies and disappoints me because it does, but I can understand it – his reason for doing what he did. "I'm disappointed," I concede, seeing how he flinches imperceptibly, "But I can understand why you did it. You were upset, and anger – and grief – can be expressed by destroying." A humorless smile tugs at my lips when I remember what happened after Maul killed Qui-Gon. "I would know."

He doesn't say anything for a moment. "You're not... mad?" he ventures cautiously.

I sigh. "No. I'm not. And trust me, doing that does not make you a monster." He still seems doubtful. "I know it was the Dark Side, but we've all been tempted, even me."

"You?" The surprise on his face is obvious.

"I believe that's what I just said. When Qui-Gon was killed," I see him tense up, "I used my anger to kill Maul. That was a brush with the Dark Side, and I don't suppose you would call me a monster for doing it."

"Of course not!" He seems horrified at the very thought.

"I thought not, which is why you shouldn't consider yourself a monster. I don't. I said it once before, but I am proud of who you've become, and Anakin, I love you like a brother. Don't you ever forget that."

I see the emotion in his eyes, and he doesn't reply for at least a minute. "I love you too," he finally murmurs, and I nod slightly, accepting his words.

"If you're up to it, I think it would do us both some good to meditate on it together," I suggest, noting the wave of relief that washes over his features. He's obviously much more shaken up then he's letting on, something which reinforces my decision to force him to meditate on it.

"I think that would be good," he replies slowly.

**b**

"I'm sorry," mutters Anakin, clenching his jaw and avoiding my gaze.

I raise an eyebrow. "Whatever for?"

He runs a hand through his hair, eyes darting towards me. "I keep finding myself doubting you," he admits, "And I know I shouldn't, but it keeps happening."

"It's what Sidious wanted," I state flatly. "He was manipulating you, and it's to be expected that the effects are still lingering." That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though.

"Well he's gone now, and he can't do anything to me anymore," Anakin answers determinedly. He's quiet for a moment, seemingly in thought. "How should we go about reaching the sisters' dimension?"

"We can meditate together to repair our bond," I reply, ignoring his question. I'm not entirely sure if its rhetorical or not, because he's asked me that at least ten times, and my answer hasn't changed yet. I have no idea what we can do, especially since I really doubt we'll get anywhere if the Force doesn't want us to, despite Anakin's insistence to the contrary. "It will go a long way in helping you eliminate your doubts."

He frowns, but doesn't reply, so I pick up the datapad again and resume my work. Anakin really should be attending to his; he is a Council member now, which means he has new responsibilities. Unfortunately, he's been ignoring them to try and come up with a way to traverse dimensions, and I haven't pushed him as much as I probably should have.

I'm afforded several minutes of peaceful silence before Anakin leans against me slightly. "What are you doing?"

"Council work. The same thing you should be doing," I reply without looking at him.

"Yes. Yes," he grumbles, "I'll get to it."

"Sooner rather than later, I hope," I comment, "I would not envy you trying to explain to Master Windu why you're not done."

"I'll get to it," he repeats, resting his head on my shoulder. I suppose that isn't something which will be changing any time in the near future either. He's always been that way – needing, or at least seeking, physical affection. I perhaps shouldn't condone it so much, but with the Council's view on attachments changing, I know it won't be an issue. On the contrary, if I'd been more affectionate with Anakin when he was younger, we might have avoided this entire situation, but it's past wondering about now. The past will remain in the past.

We sit there for a while, each lost in our own thoughts. We probably would have stayed that way for much longer if Qui-Gon's Force ghost hadn't suddenly materialized in the living room. Anakin starts slightly, sitting up to greet him.

"Hello, Qui-Gon," he acknowledges him. I echo the greeting. None of us are surprised to see the dead Jedi Master anymore – not once he explained what he did to retain his consciousness after death.

"I thought I'd drop by to see how you are," Qui-Gon replies.

"He's fixating on finding a way to reach the sister's dimension," I comment dryly, ignoring the slightly irritated look Anakin shoots at me.

"For good reason," he argues, "Padme misses them terribly. Ahsoka swears she'll never forgive me if she doesn't get to meet them. And..." His voice trails off, so I decide to add my own thoughts on the matter.

"And to be fair, though Master Yoda will never admit to it, I think he really wants to see them again," I chime in.

"What?" Anakin gapes at me in shock.

I raise an eyebrow. "Is the grandmaster having emotions really such a surprise?" I want to know.

Qui-Gon snorts quietly. "I didn't think I would see the day that happened but carry on. Do tell what he's told you."

"How?" stammers Anakin. "I mean he's always lecturing about releasing emotions to the Force and whatever."

"Well presumably he has emotions the same way you do, but he just controls them better," I reply amusedly. Seeing as Anakin has no further comments, I launch into my observations. "Just the other day, he was talking to Master Windu and I about the sisters' dimension. He was mentioning how strong they are with the Force. I got the impression that he's curious about what it is like there and wanted to talk to them more."

"I'm still in the same dimension, right?" queries Anakin, and I elbow him.

"Seriously, Anakin. Don't act so surprised," I tell him, a hint of sarcasm slipping into my voice. "There's no reason why Yoda can't want to talk to them or miss them."

"There is a way for you to cross over," Qui-Gon interrupts before we can fall into another bantering session. "And I'm certain that if you go there, you'll be able to return as well."

"Why?" I ask curiously.

My former master seems thoughtful. "Because the sisters came here and left," he explains, "So it stands to reason that it is like a two-way passage. If you go one way, you can return along the same path."

Anakin looks contemplative. "The million-credit question is: how can we cross over?"

"Yes, that is question indeed," I agree quietly.

"They bonded with both of you, did they not?" questions Qui-Gon, and we nod.

"Their bonds with me are stronger, but still there," Anakin elaborates.

I reach for the bonds, poking them gently. They're still there, though eerily silent and still quite weak, especially when compared with my bond to Anakin. If I meditated deep enough, I suspect I could probably find the sisters' Force presences with some difficulty.

"It's curious, isn't it, how they managed to bond with you before they even came here," murmurs Qui-Gon, a glint in his blue eyes which sets of alarm bells. He only ever has that expression when he's up to something.

"What are you saying, Qui-Gon?" asks Anakin suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

"They were bonded to you before they came here," he repeats, a note of feigned innocent in his voice.

"Whatever you're saying, just come out and say it," I request.

Qui-Gon chuckles. "I think I know how you can try to cross to their dimension."

"How?" demands Anakin, leaning forward. I can feel a hint of desperation in him, so I send calming emotions through our bond.

"It's actually very simple, which is why you probably never considered it in the first place," the Force ghost answers smugly. "All you need to do is..."