Mallory was still jumpy throughout the day, but she felt less anxious after speaking to Cementoss. It was hard to focus on everyone's excited conversations during lunch because her apprehension remained, but most of all, she was thinking of a plan. Granted, she couldn't formulate a real plan - after asking some questions about the sports festival, she learned that there was no way of knowing what the events would be ahead of time. But she could at least map out a method of attack in regards to training, taking the use of her gas tank into account.
She was still spacey during her remaining classes, and she was relieved when the final bell rang at the end of the day. She gathered her things in a hurry and leapt out of her seat, running to the door so she could go to the teacher's office, only to yelp in surprise and come to a screeching halt.
She was facing a massive crowd of students, all huddled together and just staring at her. Mallory could only gape like a fish in shock.
"Wh-What's going on?" Ochaco cried behind her, shaking her enough to leap backwards.
Before Mallory had the chance to formulate words, Katsuki confidently - or maybe angrily was the right word - strode towards the group of students, roughly nudging her out of his way with his shoulder (how she wished she had the courage to respond!) while grumbling that they were staking out the competition. The realization made her heart sink and skin prickle with unease. She knew it was a tournament to take seriously, but she would've liked to get along with everyone. Mallory subtly clasped her hands behind her back to avoid itching them.
Katsuki made a rather scathing remark to the protests of their classmates, and a boy with messy indigo hair and bags under his eyes pushed his way through the crowd to address him. What she overheard surprised and devastated her.
Transfer in? Transfer out? The news made her head spin. She could be...replaced? After how hard she worked? After doubting herself time and time again, after the people dearest to her supported and forgave her adamantly? When she had barely begun learning how to be a real hero? When she could finally start thinking about putting her regrets to rest? She covered her mouth with her hand. She felt ill.
Her ears were ringing, and she barely heard him continue. She was worried enough about looking good in front of a crowd and pro heroes, but now she had to worry about expulsion again? Even if the first time had been a cruel joke, she had felt the weight of dread then, and she was feeling it now with terrible familiarity.
"Hey, hey!" A boy with silver hair and dark eyes suddenly charged forward, standing in the doorway with a raised fist. The intensity of his voice made her jump. "I'm from Class B next door! I heard you fought against villains, so I came to hear 'bout it! Don't get so full of yourselves!"
He taunted Katsuki, but he didn't respond. Instead he simply started to walk through the throng of students, ignoring Eijiro's interjection with the counter that being on top was the only thing that mattered.
But Mallory felt that it was out of her reach. She didn't have Katsuki's versatility or Eijiro's ideal balance of offensive and defensive power, and she didn't have any remarkable training, either. Heck, she didn't even have much confidence in anything aside from her knowledge of chemistry. Any chance of standing out at the sports festival felt more like a passing dream than a reasonable goal to strive for.
"By the way," the quieter boy spoke, sweeping his gaze across the room, "the news said that some of the villains had to be hospitalized. Did one of you have something to do with that?"
Mallory blanched, and his cold eyes pierced through her as they settled on her uneasy gaze. Her breath caught in her throat and hands began to tremble behind her.
"No, that was all Aizawa-sensei." Mashirao was suddenly beside her, and he glared at the boy while speaking sharply.
"Is that so?" His tone was on the precipice of mocking, and he was still staring at her. After a drawn out pause, he closed his eyes and turned away. "Whatever." With that he was gone, and the crowd began to disperse.
She released a long breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "Thank you," she whispered, hardly daring to admit he had covered for her aloud.
He shook his head and put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't let him get to you. You did what you had to, so it's not something you need to feel bad about."
She nodded halfheartedly. It wasn't that he didn't have a point. Between the attack and now, she had better come to grips with the fact that hindsight is 20/20. Even the detective reminded her that it was self defense. But she couldn't shake the fact that she had hurt them because she couldn't stay calm, which was vital to her. She could kill people if she didn't think things through, given her Quirk's troublesome tendency to act up when her emotions were spiraling out of control. It didn't happen often, but she couldn't afford it to ever occur.
"Mallory-chan?" she heard Tsuyu call after her as she plodded out of the room, but she only offered a dismissive wave.
"I have to go," she mumbled. She was too unsettled by what transpired to talk, and she had something to do, anyway.
"Excuse me." Mallory knocked politely on the door to the teacher's office, and she swore she heard a soft, smoke-like poof from inside.
"Come in," someone replied, and she slid the door open. She nodded to the teachers gathered at their desks - it was actually kind of funny to see All Might hunched over at a little cubicle - and the realization that she was facing several pro heroes made her incredibly shy.
I bet they all did well in their sports tournaments, she thought bitterly.
"Oh, Tinker." Aizawa turned his chair towards her, though it was hard to tell if he was really looking at her with all those bandages. "Here to fill out the support item request form? Cementoss told me about it."
"Um, yes," she replied awkwardly, and he motioned for her to take a seat next to him at an unoccupied student desk. She did so, and he passed her a sheet of paper and a pencil. "Thank you," she muttered.
There was a pause as she began filling it out, but after a moment, her homeroom teacher spoke up. "What's wrong?" he asked abruptly, and she looked up. Guess she was no good at hiding her feelings, but it was better to express them than risk her Quirk acting up from bottling everything inside.
She took a deep breath, anxious. There was no reason to lie. "Mr. Aizawa...can a student in the hero course really be expelled if she doesn't do well at the sports festival?"
"Of course," he answered immediately, and she deflated. "Or, if someone not in the hero class does exceptionally well, he can take the place of someone that wasn't good enough."
Mallory leaned back in the chair and tilted her head to the ceiling, defeated. She didn't know what to say to that. "What if I fail?" she whispered hoarsely to herself.
"Just do your best."
She looked down with wide eyes. Mr. Aizawa was typing away at his computer, and she couldn't tell if he had even heard her or not. "You'll do fine, Tinker."
So...was he acknowledging her? Her seemingly uninterested teacher was trying to cheer her up? Truthfully, she did perk up at his words. She held her breath in anticipation, but he had no more to say. He seemed cold and distant, but he wouldn't have said that if he didn't want to encourage her, right?
Slowly, she began to smile. To hear a pro hero say he believed in her (well, in his own way) made her heart feel lighter. If he didn't think she would do badly, then she would prove that. She didn't want to let her teacher down.
After filling out the form, she was surprised to see Yuga when she opened the door. "Aoyama-kun?" she asked curiously, tilting her head. He gasped, and his pointed smile almost dropped before perking up again.
"F-Fancy seeing you here!" he declared, pointing at her with one outstretched hand while the other was on his hip.
"What're you doing here?"
"Well, uh, that's exactly what I was about to ask you!" He put his fingers to his forehead, peering at her with one glittering eye.
"Oh, I was just filling out a support item request form so I can use my gas tank and mask for the sports tournament." She furrowed her brow. Was it just her, or was he acting stranger than usual?
"I see!" Yuga snapped his fingers, and she could have sworn that he looked relieved for a second. "I'm here for the same reason! Isn't that a fantastic coincidence? Well, au revoir!"
"Yeah, sure…." She didn't think it was much of a coincidence at all, but he had already ducked into the office and shut the door before she could finish speaking.
Mallory was dumbfounded. She assumed he was referring to his belt, which was completely fine. Maybe it made his laser stronger, or helped him aim with more accuracy...or maybe he had difficulty controlling his Quirk without it. The thought made her eyes widen. If that was the case, then embarrassment or shame could have explained his stammering. She had an urge to burst in and let him know that it was okay, that she understood that all too well.
But it wasn't her business, and she'd be embarrassed if she was wrong, anyway. It wasn't as if she knew him well enough to tell if he was genuinely bothered by something. Even if she were right, it probably wasn't something he'd want to disclose, and she felt the same way. She had her own skeletons in the closet, and she planned to keep them there.
For a moment she stood there, thinking of Mr. Aizawa's words again. Just do your best, he told her. She wanted to expand her limits on what her "best" was. She knew she could never be a hero in her current state, so unsure and unskilled. But heroes were the people that always reached further, aimed higher, had loftier goals. They were the people that didn't believe in limits.
"I'll do what I can," she said aloud, steeling herself. One day at a time, she would improve herself no matter what. Even if she never got a high placement in any of the events, she didn't want to regret a lack of effort.
After consulting with her athletic uncle, she had the training regime finalized the next day. It was difficult to juggle exercise with studying, especially when she was so far behind in Japanese-centered courses, but she found a way around it. Actually, she thought she found the perfect solution: a way to balance physical tuning with breathing techniques to increase her lung capacity.
The days ticked by. In the comfort of her room she was doing push ups, squats, and crunches while reading her textbooks, and when her body began to burn all over she'd sit at her desk and do homework while being mindful of her breathing. She still didn't think she'd do spectacularly well at the sports festival, but that was all the more reason why she couldn't fall behind on her studies.
As the first week leading up to the sports festival drew to a close, the students were given less homework and more time to train, which she was eternally grateful for. She needed any time she could get, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do.
That was why she was out running on a cool evening day, donning a new mint green tracksuit. Despite nearing summer, the setting sun was still comfortably cool, and the gentle breeze that wove through the houses along the street made the atmosphere all the more pleasant. It was a perfect time for a run, and that was exactly what she was doing; alternating between jogs, sprints, and walks uphill and down, with a backpack stuffed with decorative rocks she had collected from her porch.
On this particular day, she had decided to visit a nearby beach for a more relaxing workout. The sun's rays glittered harshly against the calm waters of the ocean, washing gently to just barely caress her shoes as she sat with her legs out. She was stretching, reaching down to her toes and taking the deepest breaths she could bear with her head down. She was winding down from a hard sprint now, and her backpack was set to the side. Maybe it was just her, but her legs, abdomen, and arms already felt sturider, more toned...though they still ached terribly in the morning. Well, no pain, no gain, so Mallory figured she was doing something right.
The sand felt warm under her, and the sound of the tide kept her breathing steady. Actually, it was lulling her to sleep. With just her to occupy the beach, she felt comfort in solitude; a strange phenomenon for her, but that was how she felt nonetheless. Maybe that was a sign of her becoming comfortable with her new life as a high school student. As her eyes fluttered shut, she wondered if she could lay back and relax for a few minutes.
"Tinker-san?"
She raised her head in surprise, meeting Izuku's eyes when she turned towards the voice. Mallory exhaled, sparing herself the feeling of her lungs about to burst. "Midoriya-kun."
As she stood, he asked, "What are you doing here?"
He was wearing a dark green tracksuit and huffing slightly as he spoke, so she could take a guess. "Same as you. Training."
He smiled, and Mallory was relieved by his friendly presence. "I see! Then, you were practicing your flexibility?"
She nodded. "Well, I was practicing my breathing, too. I need to increase my lung capacity."
He looked at her, puzzled, but then realization passed over his face. "Oh, is that because of your Quirk?"
She held up her finger. This was a lecture she was pretty comfortable delivering, despite her remaining misgivings about her Quirk. "Yep! I can only make a one to one ratio of gas. Basically, I can only put out what I take in."
He put a hand to his chin, and his eyes drifted upward in though. "I get it. That could be a serious handicap, especially when you're in an open space. You probably have to stay in close range of anyone you're trying to use your Quirk on so the gases don't disperse enough to make it ineffective, but that would put you at risk of attack. Hmm…."
She blinked. He was speaking quickly and in a low mutter, so it took her a moment to understand what he was saying. Then it occurred to her that he had gone to the nurse's office after fighting Katsuki in the hero versus villain drill, and he didn't see her use her gas tank. In that case, he probably only knew about her Quirk because of the villain attack and what his friends told him about her hospitalization. Maybe it was a poor choice to explain it to someone she was about to compete with, but she couldn't foresee any real harm in indulging him.
"Yeah, that's why I use a gas tank. My gas mask has different settings: one is for basic filtration of the air around me, one is for exhalation directly into the atmosphere, and another will push the air I breathe out through a tube and into the tank, and I can open and close it with a button. I can store up a lot more gas than I can keep in my lungs that way, and I could fill up an entire space faster and more efficiently," Mallory explained.
Izuku's eyes widened, and he beamed as though he had made a remarkable discovery. "I get it! That's a great way to work around your Quirk's shortcomings while taking advantage of its characteristics! That's amazing."
He was really enthusiastic, wasn't he? It made her happy, because she could tell he really cared about it. Izuku didn't find Mallory strange or scary or weak, and she appreciated that. She hoped they could get along in the future.
A pause passed between them, interrupted only by the waves and the call of seagulls. It was getting awkward. He could tell, too, given by the growing red on his ears and how he glanced around, maybe hoping a new topic of conversation would appear. She decided that now was as good a time as any to ask about something that had bothered her since the Quirk assessment.
"Why are you trying to be a hero when your Quirk hurts you?"
The question caught him off guard; the surprise was written clearly on his face, in his parted lips. An ocean breeze picked up, and he spoke quietly in the salted wind.
Izuku looked down at his hands, damaged time and time again. Even though she didn't put much effort into hiding her hands in her day to day life, she instinctively put her own arms behind her, out of sight in response to his gaze. A part of her knew there was no point in doing so, but it still felt natural to conceal them when she thought about it.
"I know it's strange," he finally said. "But I have to keep working on it. Someday it won't hurt me anymore, so there's no reason to give up. I've always wanted to be a hero, I've always wanted to save other people, but for the longest time I thought it was impossible." His hands tightened into fists. "But someone I believe in told me I could do it, and I trust him. So now I have to trust myself, too. I'm grateful for my Quirk's power, so it's just a matter of harnessing it."
Her eyes widened, and it wasn't the breeze that made her shiver. "But what about the sports festival?"
His determined grimace relaxed into an uneasy frown. "I know. It's not the best situation, but I'll just have to think on my feet. I have to win."
His humble story of the path to heroism struck painfully close to home for her, but that was too hard to say, much harder to explain than her hands. She couldn't put into words all the events that took her to the road she walked today, and she knew Izuku was the same. Still, there was a sharp, biting difference between them that was too taboo to say.
She wished she never had a Quirk in the first place.
Knowing it was too scandalous to dare to think of, and knowing there was no point in dreaming of the impossible, she picked up her bag and dusted the sand from it before putting it on. She smiled softly. "I don't think I'll be able to do well, honestly. I mean, I do have my studies. But when it comes to application, I don't have a lot of practice. So I just want to do my best, so that I don't regret anything. I'm tired of that sort of thing."
Before he could reply, she turned around and waved over her shoulder as she began to walk away. "Your Quirk is really strong, so I think you could do better than me, but you should be careful, Midoriya-kun."
Mallory broke into a full sprint, the rocks clattering on her back and making her shoulders ache.
A/N: This was a hard one! I ended up not catching up to the episode this time. But that's okay! I really wanted to go into more detail about her training. Everyone was doing something special and Quirk-related, so Mallory had to, too! And it was SO HARD to decide if she should run into Shoto, Katsuki, or Izuku. In fact, I actually removed a long character moment with Shoto! I'll probably post it as extra material at some point.
I do want to explain her Quirk and her past a bit more in the near future. At this time I'm not sure how far in the next chapter will go, so we'll just have to find out together. As always, please tell me what you think! Reviews make me so happy and I deeply appreciate every one of them!
P.S. Just one more week of college! My final assignments ended up being much more time consuming and draining than I anticipated. All the writing killed my inspiration! But I'm finally heading into my very last week because I graduate, and I will MOST DEFINITELY GET BACK TO WEEKLY UPDATES! Thank you so much for your patience!
Go beyond!
PLUS ULTRA!