Drop Off

"Did you go to school wearing this?" Thea asked, sitting in the family room at the residency with her children and husband, looking on at Sofia who was sitting drawing a picture.

"Yeah." Sofia nodded, "I dressed myself." She smiled proudly as Thea nodded.

"That's a pyjama t-shirt." Thea nodded, looking over at Dominic who raised his eyebrows.

"It is?" He questioned as Thea laughed a little, "They all look the damn same, I swear." He shook his head.

"Baby, didn't your teacher notice this was your pyjama t-shirt?" Thea asked Sofia who shook her head.

"No." Sofia said, "Why can't I wear any t-shirt to school?" She questioned as Thea just smiled, "Are there rules?"

"I guess not." Thea laughed to herself, watching James doing his homework.

"Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom." Sofia announced.

"You just went." James turned to his sister.

"I need to go again, James." Sofia rolled her eyes, jumping off the seat.

"Daddy will take you." Thea nodded as Dominic stood up, taking Sofia to the bathroom whilst Thea turned her attention to James.

"What homework are you doing?" Thea asked, sitting down beside James at the table.

"Math." James said as Thea nodded.

"How has school been?" She asked him as he shrugged.

"Like it always is." James told her as she nodded, "I know you're not sick." He turned to her, "Dad says you're sick but I know you're not. Because… you're not in a hospital and you don't sound sick." He said as Thea smiled a little. She loved that in his innocent little brain, he had it all figured out.

"Sometimes… people can be sick and you don't notice, and it's not necessarily a hospital they need to be in." Thea nodded to him.

"I don't get it." James shook his head.

"I know, I know you don't." Thea sighed. It was difficult trying to explain it to James. He wasn't a baby, but he wasn't old enough to understand what was going on with her. She had to improvise, "Sometimes people get sick in their brain." She nodded to him, "And it makes them do things they don't wanna do, things that can be dangerous." She said, "And you can't really see the sickness like you can with a… stomach ache or a cough." She nodded.

"Your brain is sick?" He asked as she nodded.

"A little." She nodded, "That's why I've been staying here, so I can get better. And I'll be home real soon." She said.

"Is that why you were acting weird before? When you wanted to go for ice-cream?" James asked her, "Because your brain was sick?"

"Yeah." Thea nodded, "Yeah, that's why. But I'm feeling better already and… I'll be home soon." She smiled, brushing her hand through his dark hair as he just nodded.

"Good, cause I don't like you not being around." James said as Thea smiled.

"I hate not being around too." She sighed, wrapping her arms around him as he gave her a hug willingly, which was rare for a little boy his age. She took in every second of the hug, squeezing him tightly and kissing his cheek as he scoffed.

"Mom." James complained as Thea chuckled.

"What? It's not like I got lipstick on." Thea said.

"Still." He rolled his eyes, shoving her playfully as she shoved him back. She so missed being a mother and being home with her children. She was finally in a good enough mindset to keep pushing through the hard times, so she could be the best mom for her kids.

"I didn't need the bathroom." Sofia announced, coming back into the room.

"You didn't?" Thea looked over.

"No, I thought I did but I didn't." Sofia explained, brushing her hair from her face.

"False alarm?" Thea smiled as Sofia nodded.

"Yeah." Sofia nodded, running over to her mother, sitting on her lap and pulling her picture over to complete drawing it.

"Are you gonna be good and eat all your dinner tonight?" Thea asked Sofia.

"Only if it is something I like it." Sofia told her as Thea chuckled, looking over at Dominic who just shook his head with a smile.

"Oh, ok." Thea laughed to herself, taking a coloured pen and helping Sofia with her picture.

Dominic smiled as he watched Thea with their kids, helping James with his homework and joining in helping Sofia finish her picture. He was so relieved to see her slowly getting back to her normal self. He knew there was a lot of steps ahead of her until she was coming home, but just seeing this filled his heart with a lot of joy.

"Hey, where's mom?" Thea asked, sitting on her bed later that night as she saw her father come in the door to her room.

"She's at home. She's got a ton of work to do. She's real sorry she couldn't come." Punk nodded to her, "She's super stressed."

"Hey, I told you guys. You don't have to come up every single night." Thea shook her head, "Why is she stressed?" She asked.

"Well she's got a new boss I think and… she's just got a lot on her plate." Punk nodded, "And she's barely been sleeping which isn't helping." He said.

"I really hope you guys aren't losing sleep over little old me." Thea said.

"Please, we have better things to lose sleep over." Punk teased as Thea smiled, "How are you?" He asked, giving her a hug as she hugged back tightly.

"I'm ok." Thea nodded to him, "I had a busy day today, actually." She told him.

"Yeah?" He smiled, sitting down by the bed.

"I had two meetings this morning. A group AA and individual therapy." She said, "Finished my book." She nodded, picking up one of the novels Jude had brought her, "I cooked dinner for everyone." She said as Punk raised his eyebrows, "Then the kids and Dominic came up and spent some time with me." She smiled.

"Sounds like a good day." Punk nodded to her, "Did you really cook for everyone?"

"Yeah." Thea nodded, "Successfully actually." She said, "And nobody complained either."

"Way to go." Punk smiled as she nodded, "How was therapy this morning?" He asked her.

"It was ok." Thea said, "I don't know if I'll ever get used to speaking about all of these feelings. It just feels so unnatural." She shook her head.

"You'll get used to it." Punk nodded to her.

"It does help, though." Thea nodded, "I never knew what difference it could make just… saying certain things aloud. Things I've held in all these years." She said.

"Bottling things up isn't good for anyone." Punk said, "Trust me, I know."

"Yeah… you do know." Thea realised, "I got really good at it." She said.

"Let's ask your acute hepatitis about that." He nodded as she smiled a little, "How's the pain?"

"It's better." Thea nodded, "I'm still taking pain killers but I think they're actually working more now. I'm sleeping a lot better." She said as Punk nodded.

"I can't believe it's already been three weeks." He shook his head.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Thea nodded.

"How did the sleepover go?" He smiled a little.

"It was good." Thea smiled, "Yeah, there was lots of pizza, trashy movies that you'd love." She nodded as he smiled.

"Sounds about right." Punk nodded.

"Hey… can I ask you something?" Thea looked at him as he nodded.

"Sure." He said.

"Did Sam ever… sit you and Uncle Dean down when you were kids and explain to you why she… was the way she was?" She asked him as he looked across at her.

"No, not that I can remember." Punk said, "I don't really remember talking much with Sam when I was a kid. She wasn't… she wasn't there." He shook his head, "She'd be out or… busy upstairs." He shook his head, "Me and Dean took care of ourselves." He nodded.

"It's just… I had to sort of talk to James tonight about why I'm here and stuff." She shrugged, "He said that he knows I'm not sick and that this isn't a hospital so why am I staying here." She shook her head, "Kids really notice everything."

"What'd you say to him?" Punk asked.

"I just told him that sometimes people can get sick brains." Thea shrugged, "And that you can't really see it on the outside. And that this place is gonna help." She nodded.

"That sounds good enough for a nine year old." Punk nodded.

"Yeah well he bought it." Thea nodded, "It's just hard knowing what to say." She said as Punk nodded.

"Yeah, I bet." Punk said, "But what you told him is true." He said as she nodded, "I'm sure he's just excited for when his mom can come home again."

"Yeah." Thea smiled, "Would you do anything different?" She asked him, pulling her knees to her chest, "If you could go back and do everything over again."

"I'd make sure I didn't end up in prison twice." Punk assured her, "I'm a big believer in… everything happens for a reason but… it's hard finding anything positive out of that." He said as she nodded, "Maybe I'd try do a better job at protecting you girls." He shrugged as Thea looked at him.

"Dad." She shook her head.

"Hey, you asked." He laughed a little.

"You've always kept us safe." Thea nodded, "I felt like I was the safest little girl in Chicago. Even living in that awful apartment. You did such a good job at hiding things that… weren't ideal living situations." She said, "I remember one time, you guys must have been short for rent one month and the super came to the door. We had to hide. You guys made it out like it was a fun game. I had no idea what was really going on." She said.

"You remember that?" Punk smiled a little.

"Yeah." She nodded, "Look, the last thing I want this diagnosis to do is make you and mom feel like you didn't do enough. You did. You did more than enough. For all three of us."

"I wasn't here for eight years." Punk shook his head.

"And it sucked." Thea nodded, "And I… yeah, I still get scared that you're gonna leave again, but that's on me, that's… that's something I gotta deal with." She said.

"You reckon that's when this all started for you?" He asked her. He wasn't shy. He wanted her to talk to him. It was more deep talking she'd done with him in her life.

"I don't know. I can't really put a finger on it." Thea said, "I think when you left I just… stopped talking to people. And I'd get in my own head instead." She shook her head, "And my only real friend during that time was… was Jackson." She shook her head, rubbing her forehead as he looked at her.

"You don't gotta talk about him." Punk said by default.

"No, that's the thing. I do." Thea nodded, "I do gotta talk about him." She said, "Because yet again… someone I really loved, disappointed me and instead of talking about it… I just said nothing." She shook her head, "And I held it in."

"Did you… really love him?" Punk asked her.

"Yeah." Thea nodded, "It's… sickening to say that now. And don't worry, I'd bring him back to life just to kill him again." She said, "But that was… like the first person I'd ever loved." She shook her head, "And he beat me, he raped my sister and then I… I killed him in my kitchen." She shook her head as Punk looked across at her, "And I've never spoken to anyone about any of that." She said, tears in her eyes as Punk listened.

"Now you can." Punk nodded, "I don't know why you felt like you couldn't before but… you can talk to me, mom, or even if you just want to talk about it with your therapist… but… as long as you are talking, it's gonna get easier for you." He assured her as she nodded.

"I just… I look back on who I am….who I was as a person, as a teenager, and I feel so bad for her. And I hate that." Thea shook her head, "I didn't care about myself. I let people use me. I was always angry about something. Sold myself short." She said, "I mean I got into med school a year after overdosing. And I didn't even think that was a big deal back then." She shook her head, "And I used to just think it was who I was. Maybe I'm just a negative, quiet, bottled up person."

"No you're not." Punk shook his head.

"I know I'm not." Thea smiled whilst wiping her tears, "I just have an illness that makes me feel different from other people. And… And now that I know that, I can help myself." She nodded to him, "And I will help myself. Cause I… I think I deserve it." She nodded to him as he smiled.

"You do." He nodded, watching as she wiped her tears, "Come here, sweetie." Punk stood up.

"I'm sorry I didn't want to do this." She laughed a little, wiping her tears that kept coming.

"Hey, it's ok." He nodded, wrapping his arms around her as she hugged him tightly, not being able to stop crying for some reason, it was just all coming out, and that was ok.

AJ was sat at the kitchen table, doing work on her computer with a supply of coffee beside her. She was more angry about not being able to go see Thea tonight than she was about having to do all the work.

She was furiously typing on her laptop when she was stopped by a knock at the door. She got up from the table and walked down the hall, opening up the door.

"Oh… hey." AJ smiled politely as she saw Punk's father, Dan, standing on the front step.

"Hi, April." Dan nodded to her, holding a box in his hands.

"Uh… come in." AJ nodded to him. She rarely saw him. Punk and Dean weren't very close with him. They were civil but it wasn't much of a relationship.

"Sorry to just drop by like this." Dan said, "I went to Dean's house first but no one was in." He said.

"Is everything ok?" AJ asked him, "Phil's actually not in. He's visiting Thea." She told him, "But I can… I can pass on a message to him."

"Yeah, I uh… I was just dropping this off. I finally got round to clearing Sam's things out and this all things I thought maybe the boys would want a look at." He said.

"Oh, right." AJ nodded, "I can take it and sit it upstairs."

"Oh, no. it's too heavy. I'll carry it through." Dan said as AJ just smiled. He was a very old fashioned gentleman.

"I didn't take Sam for the sentimental kind." AJ said, following him through to the kitchen as he sat the box on the table.

"Oh, she wasn't." Dan laughed, "But it's just some things that were in the house that I figured the boys might wanna see." He nodded.

"Well I'll let Phil know you stopped by with it." AJ nodded to him.

"I spoke with Cassie the other day. She told me about Thea." Dan said, "I'm sorry to hear she's not in a good place." He said as AJ nodded.

"She's doing better." AJ nodded positively.

"Well that's good to hear." Dan nodded, "I know Sam passing hit her pretty hard." He said as AJ nodded.

"Yeah well they were pretty close." AJ said as Dan nodded.

"Yeah." Dan understood, "Well I'll let you get back to… whatever it was you were doing." He nodded.

"Thanks for this." AJ smiled as he nodded, leaving the kitchen and heading out of the house.

AJ looked over at the box, looking inside at the different, random assortment of items. She pulled out some pictures, smiling as she realised it was her husband and brother-in-law as very small children.

"Oh, little baby Punk." AJ smiled to herself, sitting down and looking through the pictures.