CHAPTER 21
Finn woke up, happy, the next day. He thought everything that happened the day before was just a bad nightmare. Then he saw the broken coffee table and knew that it wasn't a bad dream - it was reality. He walked into the kitchen and saw Santana cooking some pancakes. He walked over to her and she didn't hear him over the stove. He tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around and when she saw him, she gave him a comforting hug. Although Finn was in a bad way, he was much better than he was the day before.
"How are you feeling?" She asked. Finn chuckled mirthlessly.
"Not great. But better than yesterday, that's for sure." He said. She nodded.
"Well, just think, as hard as it is now, it will get better."
"And you know this how?" Finn remarked, tiredly. Santana smiled faintly at him.
"Finn, I can't imagine what you're going through. I've never had to deal with anything like this. But I do know you. And I know how strong you are. You're going to get through it, hard as it might be, and you're going to emerge stronger. You're the toughest person I know."
Finn and Santana ate a quick breakfast, and then Finn had to go down to the police station to see if he could identify the murderer. The man had already pleaded guilty, so thankfully there wouldn't be a trial. The man had absolutely no connection to Carole, and Finn just needed to confirm that it wasn't premeditated. He also needed to record his alibi with the police. He had a solid one - he was all the way in Toledo for a scheduled Regionals competition. On the way to the station, Finn pulled over onto the hard shoulder. He had started trembling. He was about to see the bastard who put an end to Carole's life. Eventually, Finn made it to the police station and, after answering a few questions, he was shown to an interrogation room. He was on one side of the two-sided mirror, and a handcuffed man was on the other. The man suddenly looked right at the mirror, and Finn got to see the face of Carole's murderer.
Finn's first thought about the man was that he was very… understated. He was african-american, and was about 5'7. He was not particularly muscular either - he was the kind of man who would hide behind a weapon - not fight with his hands. However, what affected Finn most was the man's eyes. They were cold, unblinking and emotionless. Finn knew that he didn't recognise the criminal, but he wanted a couple of seconds in the room with that monster. He didn't even care about all of the policemen who were swarming around.
"Um…" Finn said, turning to the policeman. "I don't think I recognise him, but can I please get a closer look, just to be sure?"
The policeman nodded, and led Finn into the interrogation room. The moment Finn entered the room, he snapped. He lunged towards the shackled man and slammed his head on the table over and over again. The policeman, trained for this kind of situation, immediately tried to hold Finn back, but Finn was too strong.
"Mr. Hudson! GET OFF OF HIM!" The policeman shouted.
"You killed my mother, you piece of shit!" Finn growled, completely ignoring the policeman. When the criminal's safety was at risk, the officer was forced to tase Finn and cuff him. Once Finn was restrained, he calmed down and finished answering the officer's questions. He was finally released, and he was driven home by an elderly police officer. He parked outside Finn's house and turned to the boy in the back seat.
"Look, son. I'm really sorry about what happened. Nobody deserves that. And just know, that man is going to be locked away for at least 20 years. And jail is no picnic. There are some really hard criminals in there, and they'll prey on weasels like him."
Finn nodded.
"Well he deserves everything that's coming to him. But that won't bring my mother back."
Finn got out of the truck and walked into his house. There was a Glee party that evening, and despite Santana's protests, Finn told her to go. Finn settled for the night with a bottle of whiskey for comfort.
Meanwhile, in Rachel's basement, everyone was arriving for the Glee party. They were all celebrating their Regionals victory and Santana snuck into the party. She wasn't in the mood to party. Her friend was going through a tragedy, and she should be there with him.
"He's still in the police station," Santana told herself. Everyone was pretty wasted, but she didn't take a drink. She didn't want to be drunk in case Finn needed her. Suddenly, Quinn turned to her. Quinn obviously wasn't drinking either with a baby on the way.
"Hey San, did Finn already leave for his trip?" She asked. Santana shook her head. Finn had obviously cancelled his 2 week trip to South Africa after what had happened.
"No. No, he cancelled the trip." She said, quietly. Quinn looked at her, confused.
"Why? He was so excited for it? Where is he?" She asked.
"Yeah, where my boy Huddy?" Puck slurred. Everyone heard him and turned to Santana.
"Where the hell did he go?" Mike asked. "He left right after Regionals and he hasn't spoken to anyone in the past 24 hours. Santana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Brittany noticed her girlfriend's discomfort.
"Sanny, you OK?" She asked. Santana shook her head.
"Um, guys? I don't really think Finn's going to be talking to many people for the next few days. His mom…" Her voice trailed off and tears started to come to her eyes. She forced them away though, and continued speaking.
"His mom… she… um… she was murdered. She got mugged behind Rob Park yesterday and was stabbed."
Tears filled Santana's eyes; she couldn't say any more. Brittany put a comforting arm around her, and everyone was speechless. They couldn't believe it. Last night, while they had been having one of the best nights of their lives, Finn had been having one the worst of his.
"Oh my god! Is he okay?" Tina asked, her eyes filled with concern. Santana sighed.
"He's as good as he can be really. He said goodbye to her last night at the hospital morgue, and he spent most of today with the police."
"Can we do anything to help?" Rachel asked. Santana shook her head.
"I don't think so, at least not yet. He just needs time." She said.
"What are you going to do? Where are you going to live? Because Finn's probably going to have to move, right?" Mike said.
"Yeah, I mean he doesn't have any family, so he'll probably be placed in an orphanage or homeless shelter until he turns 18. And as for me, my parents spoke to me earlier today. They apologised for everything, so as soon as Finn's future is sorted out, I'm moving back with them."
Everyone's faces went from surprised, to happy for their friend, and then back to sad when they remembered what had happened to Finn. The rest of the night was relatively gloomy: everyone was thinking about Finn, and nobody knew what to say. Santana went home that night, happy for her own situation, but still devastated for Finn. Over the past two months, Carole had practically become a mother to Santana, and Finn was like a brother, so she was almost as crushed about Carole's death as Finn. When she arrived home, she noticed that Finn's car wasn't home yet, and she was instantly scared. It was 1 am. Where in the world could Finn be? She cautiously entered the extremely untidy house, and saw Finn fast asleep on the sofa, a bottle of whiskey still in his hand. She gently took it from him and put it away, before walking upstairs to bed. It had been a long day for both of them, and it wouldn't improve with time at all. In fact, for Finn, it would only get worse.
The doorbell rang early the next morning and Finn, who was still on the sofa in the living room, groaned in pain. He was nursing an excruciating hangover from the night before, and the loud bell did nothing to help. He slowly rolled off the couch and stumbled over to the door. He looked like a zombie, with his creased, untucked shirt; ruffled hair; extremely pale face; and his unsteady walk. He eventually made it to the door and by this point, Santana had emerged from her room as well. He nodded to her. Finn opened the door, to reveal a very familiar 17 year old boy, with short, messy brunette hair, and chestnut-brown eyes.
"Wow, you look like crap." The boy said. Finn couldn't help but smile. George had a way of making him laugh, even in the worst of times.
"Gee thanks." Finn replied, sarcastically. "What are you doing here, man?"
"I heard about what happened. I still can't believe she's gone. I'm so sorry, man. You have my…"
"Don't." Finn growled, quietly.
"Pardon?" George asked, confused. Had he said something wrong?
"I don't want your condolences. Or your apologies. All I want is one last conversation with my mom. But that's not gonna happen, is it?"
George shook his head and just gave Finn a hug. Finn invited George in and introduced him to Santana. They spent the whole day arranging a funeral service for Carole. She deserved a proper send-off, and they were going to do it Glee style. As well as the whole Glee club, Liam, Harry and George and their family were going to be attending the funeral. Also, a lot of Carole's friends and work colleagues would be coming. Carole was such an amazing person and Finn knew that there wouldn't be an empty seat in the whole chapel.
A week later, everyone filed into the beautiful chapel. Pictures of Carole were scattered around the room, and in quite a few of them, Finn was present as well. The morning of the funeral, Finn woke up early. He hadn't drank any alcohol the night before as he needed to be at his strongest emotionally if he wanted to be able to get through the day. He showered and put on his formal black suit. He was having flashbacks of his biological mom's funeral.
"Hey, you ready?" Santana asked. She was wearing a black dress, and Finn knew that although it would be undoubtedly difficult for him, it was also about to be really hard for her too. Finn had hired a funeral service company, so at least they didn't have to worry about planning the funeral themselves. The wake was set to be at MacLaren's Pub - they had struck a deal with the pub to allow them to have the wake there, despite the fact that many of them were under 21. The procession was set to be at midday, and Finn, Santana and George were taken in a hearse to the church. Finn and Carole didn't have any family, which is why it was Santana and George who accompanied him. When they arrived at the church, the sealed casket was carried to the front of the room and everyone took a seat. Finn wasn't really listening as the priest gave his eulogy. Finn knew that he would have to give a speech next, and he was eventually called up by the priest.
"And next will be Mrs. Hudson's son, Mr. Finn Hudson, to give a few words."
There was a quiet applause as Finn walked up to the podium. He had a pre-prepared speech in his breast pocket, and he took it out. His eyes quickly skimmed the hand-written page, and he sighed.
"Look, I can't do this." He said, ripping up the sheet of paper. "I can't give some lame-ass, heartless, pre-written speech. It would be an insult to my mom. She deserves a proper goodbye - a goodbye from the heart…"
Everyone's eyes filled with tears as Finn began to say a final eulogy for his mother. Finn could recognise the whole Glee club, Coach Beiste, Mr. Schuester, Ms. Pillsbury and Coach Sylvester, as well as many of his friends from Canada, and their families. He took a deep breath and began speaking.
"My mom was a wonderful person. She was the kindest, most loving and most giving person I've ever known. She didn't have a bad bone in her body, and she was always so full of life. As you all know, I was adopted by her 3 years ago, and she pulled me out of the depths of hell, when nobody else would. She deserves only the highest place in heaven. I'm going to miss her so much, and it means the world to me that so many people showed up today. I'm sure that she's looking down at us right now and she's touched at how many people made it out today, from both Ohio, and from Canada. Goodbye mom. I love you. And now, all of the children here today, from both Lima and Toronto, will be saying goodbye in our own unique way."
Finn stepped off the podium and walked back to his seat next to George, Liam and Harry. Tears were dripping from every eye in the room, and it was now for the Glee club to say goodbye. The New Direction walked to the front of the room. On their way up there, Santana put a hand on Finn's arm and squeezed it comfortingly. Santana, one of the most closed-off, badass people in the Glee club, had almost had a complete breakdown. Finn didn't deserve this. Nobody deserved it. Once the New Directions were in position, they began singing.
Finn:
He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
Santana:
A little voice came on the phone
Said daddy when you coming home
He said the first thing that came to his mind
All:
I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there
Rachel:
We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are
I'm already there
All:
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And Ill be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Finn:
Oh I'm already there
Tears increased by the end of the song. Everyone listening to New Directions' performance couldn't help but shed a tear. It was truly a lovely service, and a perfect way to send off such an incredible woman. The New Directions - minus Finn - walked back to their seats in the chapel, and George, Harry and Liam joined Finn on stage. Never in a million years would they have thought that their first song together in almost a year would be at Finn's mom's funeral. But nevertheless, they stood in the front of the room and sang their hearts out.
George:
I'll sing it one last time for you
Do we really have to go?
It's been the only thing that's right in all I've done,
ohh
All:
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Finn:
To think I might not see your eyes
makes it so hard not to cry
as we say our long goodbyes,
I nearly do, ohh, light up
All:
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Finn:
(I'm right beside you dear, I'm right beside you dear)
All:
Louder, louder
and we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak,
understand how you can raise your voice to say
Finn:
(to say ohh)
All:
Light up, light up
Everyone was outright sobbing by the end of the song. The 4 boys who Carole knew so well and loved so much had delivered a beautiful, heart-shattering goodbye. It was now time for Finn's solo performance - to deliver the final goodbye to his deceased mother. He walked over to the keyboard that was at the side of the chapel and sat down.
I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill
I threw the day old tea from the cup
Packed up the photo album Matthew had made
Memories of a life that's been loved
Took the get well soon cards and stuffed animals
Poured the old ginger beer down the sink
Dad always told me, "don't you cry when you're down"
But mum, there's a tear every time that I blink
Oh I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up, but I know
A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved
So I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back we'll say Hallelujah
You're home
I fluffed the pillows, made the beds, stacked the chairs up
Folded your nightgowns neatly in a case
John says he'd drive then put his hand on my cheek
And wiped a tear from the side of my face
I hope that I see the world as you did cause I know
A life with love is a life that's been lived
So I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back we'll say Hallelujah
You're home
Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
You got to see the person that I have become
Spread your wing
And I know that when God took you back he said Hallelujah
You're home
Finn's touching goodbye to his mother was a cover of Supermarket Flowers, by Ed Sheeran. His performance was dripping with emotion, and it stabbed a hole in the heart of everyone in the room. It was the most painful thing Finn had ever done. During the song, Finn accepted the fact that Carole was never coming back; she was gone forever. Then came burying his mother's casket, which brought on a whole new level of pain. He never thought he could hurt this much. Even when he was on the street, no matter how many times he was beaten up, robbed, shanked or arrested, he never felt this… he didn't know how he felt. Miserable didn't even begin to describe it. The rest of the day went by in a blur. After the burial came the wake, where he drank more than he had ever before, and ended up passing out in George's mom's car. It was by far the worst day of his life, and his suffering was only just beginning.