No chapter for The Nanny, I'm doing two chapters at the same time. But I thought that I'd update this one instead since I had it sitting in my files for ages due to my love for The Nanny taking over.
Kenna gets home at half-past twelve at night, taking her heels off in her car before picking them up along with her handbag and gets out of the car. She gives Lombard her keys and heads inside the house, dropping her heels by the stairs and putting her handbag on the bannister before heading to the kitchen, switching the lights on.
She gets her dinner from the fridge and puts it in the microwave before leaning against the counter with her arms crossed. She's hungry, tired and she wants to cuddle with Emilie but doesn't want to wake her up.
She almost falls asleep but the sound of the microwave going off jolts her alertness and she grabs her dinner and eats it as quick as she can, taking sips of water throughout so she can sleep before one.
When she's done, Lombard kindly sorts her dishes out as she heads upstairs. Just before she can head into Emilie's room to check on her, she hears Bash's soft voice talking to the baby.
"...hungry? We'll wait just a little bit and head downstairs..."
She steps inside with a small smile on her face. "Shall I? I'm already up."
Bash looks up in surprise, shaking his head. "No, you go to bed."
"You need sleep," she says. "You look exhausted." She steps into the nursery some more. "I could do with the cuddle anyway. I've been apart from her all day and-"
"You've got work-"
"From home-"
"Kenna, just go to bed," her husband commands gently. "You're tired too and you're probably feeling the effects of the hangover."
Kenna sighs and replies with a nod, turning and heading into their bedroom, stripping along the way. She throws her clothes into the hamper and gets into bed, not bothering with pyjamas as she falls asleep.
Maybe she will be less busy so she can put Emilie to bed next.
...
But even when she's free, she barely gets a chance to look after Emilie. After weeks of Bash committing himself into looking after Emilie, Kenna finally snaps, leaving her bathroom as she switches off the lights and heads to their bedroom.
She hears Bash whisper a sweet goodnight to Emilie before he backs out of the nursery, closing the door. He heads into their bedroom and goes into the en-suite, getting ready for bed as she brushes her hair out, sitting down on her side of the bed.
"How was your day?" She asks, placing her brush down and getting under the covers as the lights go off and he returns into the bedroom.
"It was alright," he replies. "Just helping Leeza sort out a gift for Catherine. What do you get a woman who has it all?"
Kenna shrugs. "I don't know," she says, crossing her arms as he turns his lamp on and goes around the bed to switch the main light off. "So, how's Emilie?"
Bash turns to her, a confused smile on his face. "You know how she is."
She scoffs. "Do I?"
"Are you..." He stops himself, scrutinising her slightly. "Are you mad at me?"
"Sebastian," she starts, making him wince at her snippy tone. "Since she's been brought into this house, I've barely even bonded with her, spent time with her, looked after her. It's all you, you, you! Everywhere I turn to try and attempt to get her, you're there. You make some stupid excuses and..." She runs her fingers through her hair. "I need some space before I really lose my shit."
She heads out of the room and before she reaches the stairs, she's pulled into Bash's chest and she slumps against him, blinking her tears away.
"You're right," he whispers. "I just felt... obligated to Emilie. To her parents and I've totally gone and excluded you and-"
"I really need space," she says softly, removing herself from his grip.
"Should we start trying now?" He asks, making her stop. "For a baby? Having kids close in age is very beneficial..."
"Space," she repeats, heading downstairs.
...
The next morning, Kenna wakes up to the sun on her face and she realises that she ended up sleeping on the sofa, the finished bottle of wine and wine cup on the coffee table in front of her. She sighs, sitting up and stretching.
She goes upstairs, taking her sweet time and she finds Bash still asleep in their bed, Emilie wide awake on her side of the bed surrounded by pillows. Kenna lets out a sigh and exits the bedroom, heading to her wardrobe and bathroom instead.
When she's done getting ready for the day, she heads into work, forgoing breakfast for a quick smoothie bought at the local coffee shop. She parks her car at her usual spot and grabs her things, making her way into the boutique.
"Kenna!"
Stopping, she turns and finds Sergio coming up to her. "Sergio," she greets him with a tight smile before giving him a thankful nod when he opens the door to the boutique for her.
"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" He asks lightly.
Not on a bed at all, she thinks before saying, "Something like that."
They go to the offices and Leeza comes out of hers to greet him with a kiss and turns to give Kenna a bright smile.
"You've got clients in an hour," Leeza starts. "But I was wondering if you wanted to go to the café next door for some breakfast with Sergio and me?"
Kenna's stomach rumbles and she smiles wryly, downing the rest of her smoothie. "Sure."
...
Kenna stares at Leeza and Sergio in disbelief. "Married?" She asks, glancing down at Leeza's ring finger. "Wow."
"We know," Leeza says, laughing softly. "But when you know, you know..." She turns to Sergio, utterly in love and he returns the gaze, his lips brushing over her hairline.
"Right," Kenna mumbles. "Uh, I have to prepare but you guys enjoy some time alone. Good luck, both of you."
She stands, leaving a few notes that receive objections from the couple but she waves them off, leaving the café for the boutique. She finds Leeza's assistant eye her gratefully, gesturing to the boutique customer in front of her.
"Antoine," Kenna says, furrowing her brows. "How can I-"
"I'd like an outfit," he tells her, eyeing her up and down.
Kenna rolls her eyes. "You'd be far better suited to talking with Francis."
"Not for me," Antoine says, walking around a mannequin. "My dear sister. Her birthday is coming up and she would just adore a dress from her favourite cousin's boutique."
"I have a nine o'clock appointment-"
"I am your appointment," Antione cuts her off.
Kenna sighs heavily, shaking her head. "I'm busy anyway. This was only a courtesy appointment to divert onto another designer. Now, if you'd excuse me."
She ends up in her office, staring a photo on her phone of her and Emilie when Emilie had arrived at their house for the first time. She knows it's a phase of Bash's, his reluctance to be away from Emilie.
He's making up for not being a father to the child she lost. And now, Emilie truly is his because they share the same blood, no matter if only half or a quarter or whatever.
She's nothing to Emilie. Not her mother, her biological aunt even. She's a stranger, the woman who got to hold her first when she was born. She lets out a soft sigh and puts her phone in her bag before starting to work on some new designs.
After the third hour, she sits back on her seat and lets out a frustrated groan. She has no inspiration and she truly doesn't know where to search for it. Scrolling online is a bad idea and looking through her photo gallery won't do any good except make her procrastinate even more.
Eventually, she decides to call it a day, citing she feels unwell and has an upset stomach.
"Is it Sergio?" Leeza asks as she watches Kenna pick her bag up and phone. "I know it must be weird considering you both... But-"
"It's nothing to do with you or Sergio," Kenna snaps. "In fact, I don't want to even see a Valois right now. I just need to find somewhere quiet and away from everyone."
She leaves, slamming the office door behind her as she heads outside and to her car.
Instead of going home, she makes her way to the apartment and tells the front desk workers not to give her whereabouts out. If he is desperate, Bash can come and find her.
She just needs space.
...
Kenna places her drink down, closing her eyes and leaning back in the bubble bath. Her phone starts to ring and just as she decides to hang up, she sees that it's her mother calling. She quickly answers it.
"Hi, Mum," she says softly.
"Hey," her mother replies. "I've not heard from you in a bit so decided I'd give you a call."
Kenna sighs, using her other hand to cover her eyes. "Sorry, been busy."
"Same here..."
"Is there something wrong?" Kenna asks carefully.
Her mother tuts. "I'm just worried about you. Henry Valois called the other day to check on the firm and assumed we knew about... about your miscarriage."
"I was going to say-"
"Why didn't you tell us?"
Kenna pauses, switching ears so she can take a sip from her Scotch. "I don't know," she answers honestly.
"I feel like since you got married, you've been ripped apart from us. We thought this would be beneficial but we've lost you and your support and-"
"No, no, no, Mama," Kenna cuts her mother off. "It's not you, it's me. I've just been struggling." Her voice breaks and she hates it. "Do you know that we adopted Bash's cousin's baby? She's dead so we had to."
"Oh, darling..."
"Now, Bash's focus is on her and... He won't let me do anything with her and it's like I don't exist. We haven't even had sex in a long time and now..." Kenna trails off with a sad sigh. "I want a baby with him. A baby that I can look after and he even suggested that but I don't want to until he involves me in Emilie's life more. We were in this together but now, we're not and I don't know what to do."
Her mother clicks her tongue. "Sweetie, have you tried talking to him?"
"I told him what was bothering me..."
"And?"
"He suggested trying for another baby," Kenna replies. "Like what kind of answer is that? Is he trying to punish me?"
"Punish you?" Her mother asks, confused.
Kenna sighs heavily. "The baby I miscarried..." She starts, her eyes darting to the door when she hears an elevator ding. "Wasn't his..."
"Was it that man's, the one who came over for Christmas?" Joanna asks with a heavy sigh. "Jesus, Kenna." She knows, she's her mother, she knows everything. "Did you cheat?"
"God no! You know what we were going through, Mum," Kenna says. "Look, I'll call you later. Someone's at the door." Sort of.
"Okay, I'll leave my phone on," her mother replies, hanging up.
Kenna places her phone down on the sill, getting out of the bath and putting her robe on as she goes to inspect who her intruder is. She almost jumps when she sees Catherine look around curiously before her eyes land on Kenna and she sighs in relief.
"I saw the lights on and I've just been to your house to give you more things for Emilie," Catherine explains. "Why are you here?"
Kenna crosses her arms. "I needed a break," she replies curtly.
"And avoid every Valois under the sun?" Catherine asks, chuckling as she takes a seat on the sofa and lifts one leg over the other, her bag perched on her lap neatly. "Leeza said you were... upset."
Kenna furrows her brows. "She shouldn't have-"
"Then why are you avoiding your husband and newborn daughter?"
Kenna scoffs, rolling her eyes as she heads to the bar. "She's not my daughter."
"Oh," Catherine drawls. "You're having second thoughts about the adoption."
"I'm not-"
"Then why are you here and not at home?"
Kenna lifts a hand around. "I am at home."
"You know what I mean," Catherine replies, dusting off invisible lint from her shoulder. "It's almost my birthday event, we need the family to put on a united front."
Kenna sips her new drink, shrugging nonchalantly. "I'm not really a Valois, am I?"
"Neither am I," Catherine says coyly. "Every time someone tries to even call me 'Mrs', dear Lord save their souls... I will always be a Medici and you will always be a Beaton. But the name and family we've both married into requires duty from us. I am able to escape that, being who I am and my family being who they are in Italy but you... You need this. You shouldn't take it for granted."
Kenna realises that Catherine knows too. She wonders who else knows and who else Henry's told. Without saying anything on that matter, she hands Catherine a drink that the woman gratefully takes a sip from.
"The catwalk is in three days. You should stop by," Catherine tells her.
"No, I don't feel like being around people," Kenna mumbles. "I know it won't be long until they find me here instead... I just need to think. Social interactions do get quite tiring..."
"I have a private house in Bordeaux," Catherine starts. "You can think there."
"Why are you helping me?" Kenna asks softly, tears springing to her eyes.
Catherine smiles wryly. "I know what it feels to be pushed away after the honeymoon period ends. Especially when children are involved..." She sighs, finishing her drink and standing up. "I'll be waiting in the car downstairs."
...
"I'll stay just for the night," Kenna says as she wheels her small suitcase into the house.
"Oh, you can leave whenever you want," Catherine replies, heading into the kitchen and switching the lights on. "I need a break from my own husband."
Kenna follows after, leaving her suitcase by the stairs. "Oh?"
"I'm sure one of the children told you. We enjoy the flexibility of our marriage," Catherine tells her, checking the fridge for two pre-cooked steak dinners. "We both see other people with no strings attached. We don't get jealous and we keep things classy and civil."
"Right, I see," Kenna says, blushing when she realises that the one thing she tried keeping from her in-laws what the thing they were doing themselves. The double standards of it all.
Catherine stuffs the first plate into the microwave. "His little girlfriend told me she was pregnant. It's honestly an effort, Kenna. Restraining yourself from pulling out the fake extensions he buys her when you come across her at work. Why does he sleep with the assistants, I don't know but they all think they hold power over me. Ha, as if that's ever going to happen."
"So, what happens now?"
"A paternity test will easily reveal that surprise, surprise, Henry isn't the father or that she's not pregnant, either way, interesting," Catherine says. "But the thing that gets me... Henry ditches her onto me to solve and fix as he moves on to the next dumb girl. I've done my fair share of cleaning up after his mistakes but this..." Then Catherine's face falls and she quickly searches for some wine in the pantry. "This is where I draw the line at being humiliated. I can't divorce the man either - I'd be stupid enough to lose the power I have in France."
Kenna nods, understanding of what Catherine's going through somewhat. She'd be dumb to divorce Bash so soon into the relationship, despite not even thinking about divorce. She just feels like a placeholder, a trophy wife with no significance to the family or to Bash. Just someone to maintain the image.
"I'll go to this stupid event he planned for me," Catherine continues, making Kenna certain that Henry's expensive gift for his wife is an apology. "I'll smile and walk around with him and then I'll... I'll come back here and live my best life without him."
"Huh," Kenna hums in slight awe at how strong the matriarch is. "Why don't I help you set up dinner?"
Catherine sends her a grateful smile and nod, stepping away for Kenna to take over in heating up the dishes.
Maybe one type of Valois isn't that bad... The ones who weren't born one.
...
A night at Catherine's turns into two weeks and she and Mary laugh as Catherine attempts to guess at the stickie note stuck on her head. Kenna turns to Mary, giving her a cheeky wink when Catherine misguesses again.
"Charlize Theron?!" Catherine tries again.
Mary snorts, almost spilling her iced tea. "She's blonde, not brunette, Catherine."
"Who invited you again?" Catherine asks lightly, rolling her eyes as she tries to think of brunette actresses. "Did you tell Francis?"
"No, he doesn't even know this place exists," Mary replies. "Anyway, hint - water."
Kenna nods, clicking her fingers. "Smart!" She tells Mary. "Come on, Catherine. What does 'water' link to?"
"Rivers? Seas? Oceans?" Catherine asks.
"Yes!" Mary cries out. "Now, Oceans...?"
Catherine groans, rolling her eyes. "I'm Sandra Bullock, aren't I?"
"Yep!" Kenna says, picking up her own stickie note and slapping it onto her forehead. "I liked that movie contrary to belief."
"Is that why you were bitching about a certain character being dead throughout?" Mary asks teasingly.
Kenna scoffs. "What the hell? Like, seriously! I know they needed a direction but that was uncalled for! After all that we've been through with the other movies. And they didn't even invite the rest of the guys apart from that one. I will forever be heartbroken."
After her round, they settle into drinking their respective drinks - alcoholic and non-alcoholic. By their third glasses, Catherine turns to Kenna curiously, shifting her glasses up her nose.
"When are you going home?" She asks. "Not that I haven't enjoyed your company and Mary's today but Sebastian must miss you and little Emilie, of course."
Kenna sighs, bowing her head as her eyes look into her drink. "He has been trying to reach me. Dropping me texts about coming home in my own time but not to shut him out or anything. He's confused and I thought I was pretty clear but looking back... I kind of wasn't and now I feel shit for hurting him but I don't want to face that yet."
"Talk to him," Catherine says. "He's not like his father. I would know, I did most of the heavy-handed upbringing. Sure, he sat dusk till dawn teaching him how to read and write but I showed him right for wrong. He knew quickly that Henry wasn't a saint. I taught him how to read people, how to be of use to people and how to get things you want from people. He's giving you space now, but like all impatient men, he will find you and get you himself soon. You need to uphold the upper hand and get there first. Declare peace, end this immature war between you."
Kenna feels scolded yet empowered at the same time, she almost laughs. "Right. I'll go home, after your party."
"Smart choice," Catherine says. "Now, let's continue playing this stupid game. I'm drunk enough to be less judgemental."
Kenna and Mary laugh, quickly deciding a cheeky person for Catherine to be.
...
It's the 20th of August and Kenna follows Catherine to the main house so Catherine can get dressed in the outfit Kenna and Henry chose. She watches as the youngest children greet their mother warmly, surrounding her as they head into the house where Henry is waiting.
"Henry," Catherine says curtly, accepting a brief kiss before she turns to Kenna. "Come up with me. Talk me through your decisions."
Kenna eyes Henry. "It was his, actually. I just came to offer-"
"Now, please," Catherine sings, heading up the stairs.
Kenna obeys and follows Catherine upstairs and into the second master bedroom where the dress she chose lays on the bed with heels at the end of the bed on the floor.
"I love it," Catherine says softly, running a hand over the shawl. "Italian silk as well? I knew a woman's touch would be more trustworthy."
Kenna laughs wryly. "I didn't want to make too many alterations. The archives - they've been very important pieces in the family so..."
"Definitely," Catherine replies. "Right, I called ahead and got you a dress. As a 'thank you' for spending time with me. Willingly or not."
"You really shouldn't have," Kenna says with a blush.
"Oh, I did. Today is my day, I don't want a thing out of place. That includes my in-laws' outfits. You can get dressed in one of the guest bedrooms," Catherine tells her before shooing her out into the arms of the majordomo holding a sparkling peach dress.
She thanks the man and takes the dress, finding a guest bedroom upstairs to get changed. She does her own makeup and styles her hair from the Valois branded styling products she found in one of the dresser drawers and when she's done, she puts her new dress on along with heels.
"Just a minute," she calls out when she hears a knock on the door.
She stands up from the bed and grabs the silver clutch before opening the door and seeing Bash standing there, in front of her. He's not angry or mad but Kenna can see the disappointment in his eyes and she sighs, stepping back so he can come inside so she can close the door for some privacy.
"Two weeks," he says softly. "Where have you been?"
"Somewhere," she replies, throwing the clutch onto the bed and crossing her arms.
"Leeza told me you went home sick and next thing she knew, you requested time off and told her not to tell me," Bash informs her.
Kenna scoffs. "Seems like she did tell you."
"Only because I demanded it out of her!" Bash cries out, rolling his eyes. "What happened to us being honest with each other?"
"I was honest!"
"Then communication," he says, exasperated. "You're such a wildcard, I don't know what your next moves are. What happened?"
Kenna glares at him. "Are you joking right now? Do you have fucking amnesia?"
"Is this all for a baby, Kenna?" Bash asks her, coming to stand in front fo her. "You ran away for over two fucking weeks because of a baby?"
Kenna feels like she's just been slapped and she turns away from him, going to grab her clutch and leave but she's pulled back to stand in front of Bash. "Let me go."
"I gave you space and now, it's my turn to let you know what's what." He lets out a frustrated groan, bowing his head. "You don't let me explain myself. You don't even try to understand what it's like in my head. You just make rash decisions and I accept that but not anymore. The open marriage, I didn't want it but you did so I agreed. To make you happy. Everything I've done, every sacrifice, every money I've spent on you and your family... Do you not know that I wouldn't do that for someone I don't love? You're my wife. I signed the papers, I put those rings on your damn finger and I've been patient. So fucking patient but you... you never give me a chance. You're so insufferable and nothing ever makes you happy!"
Kenna's shaking now, eyes wide as she slowly sits down on the bed. "You're right," she whispers, her voice breaking. "But this scares me... I've never had a stable enough relationship to even want to be married but yeah... Here you are - my husband and... I don't tell you what's bothering me, I don't give you a chance to fight for us. And I just... I'm sorry. I just really wanted to be a part of Emilie's life and for us to raise her together. To make decisions for her future or present together. And I feel like you're putting her over me because you want to punish me. For almost letting you raise a child that wasn't even yours and... I'm so sorry. But I did warn you. I am self-destructive and a part of me brings other people down and loves it. So they hurt just as much as I do." She looks at him now, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm not a good person. I don't deserve all of this. You, the money, the job, the house, Emilie..."
Bash takes a seat beside her. "I can't do this alone," he replies. "The only reason I stuck this out? I had you by my side. Don't let your past destroy your future. Be better, do better, try harder. I should have let you in, I shouldn't have wanted to do it all by myself but I thought you needed some time to adjust. Adjust to losing your baby."
"I thought it was our baby?" Kenna asks brokenly.
Bash smiles wryly. "Your baby, Kenna. Ultimately, anything to do with that child would have been all you. I'd be nothing to them. And you'd probably use that against me whenever I'd try and do a certain parenting style on them or whatever. That would have been a noose around my neck, that child not being mine, that child being your world and me pushed away from that... Subconsciously, I did the same. Emilie and I share the same blood so, I pushed you away. I shouldn't have, you're her mother just as much as I'm her father..." Tears spring to his eyes. "I did want to punish you. I was mad, deep down I guess. You were having another man's baby and I couldn't even fulfil my duty to you as your husband and to the contract we signed. Sure, I told you sweet words but I felt really betrayed and I tried so hard not to let you realise so I could get over it and we could heal and move on. Because I love you, and loving you is better than hating you because I'd feel that pain but it's always going to be there."
Kenna lets out a sob, shaking her head. "I knew it," she croaks out, sniffling.
"It used to drive me insane," he starts. "Listening to you talk to him, laughing at his jokes and then to give me the silent treatment or the 'friend-zone' treatment. And every time before you went to the other bedroom, that we'd sleep side and side... I'd see him all over you in my head. And then to learn that after our wonderful first time together, you were having his baby?"
"I didn't want to hurt you-"
"I know-"
"I love you," she sobs. "He... I don't even know. He gave me something I couldn't get out of you."
Bash bites his bottom lip and sighs. "And Sergio?"
Kenna rolls her eyes now, averting her gaze downwards. "You had Delphine... I was alone, I craved attention and love... He was there. You can't use that against me."
"Yeah," Bash whispers. "I don't want to use anything against you. We've hurt each other but now it's time to be there for each other. No running away. No pushing away. No one in our marriage, only us."
Kenna nods shakily, turning to face him as she takes his hand. "I'm sorry."
She's surprised when he kisses her. Something which starts off soft and loving becomes hard and hungry and as her fingers go to undo the last button of his dress shirt but a knock on the door stops them, Kenna breathing hard.
"We're getting ready to go!" Charlie calls out.
"We'll be down soon," Bash replies, looking at his wife. "Your makeup..."
Kenna laughs wryly, standing up to check the mirror. "Your shirt."
Bash looks down and does his buttons up again. "Emilie and James... They've got a babysitter for the evening at our place. Are you coming home so we can put Emmy down together? And try and put an end to this madness?"
Kenna turns her head and nods. "Yeah," she mumbles, redoing her makeup.
She smiles wryly when he hugs her middle, pressing a kiss on the side of her neck. They're going to be just fine.
...
After the party, Bash helps Kenna with her suitcase as she heads inside the house to relieve the babysitter. She turns and sees Mary yawn, making her way to her as they find the babysitter and babies in the living room, James fast asleep on the playmat and Emilie in the babysitter's arms.
"She's just been fed," the babysitter explains, eyeing Kenna first. "I was going to put her down for bed."
Kenna smiles warmly, coming over to take Emilie and cradle her against her chest with a relieved sigh. "I've missed you so much, sweetie," she says softly, watching Mary bend down and retrieve her own baby. "So, so much Emmy."
"I better go," Mary whispers, quickly kissing her cheek and Emilie's. "Francis is waiting. Night."
"Goodnight," Kenna replies as Mary leaves with James. She turns to the babysitter who is getting ready to leave. "Merci. My husband will pay."
The babysitter shakes her head. "He's pre-paid, don't worry," she replies. "Bon nuit."
Kenna nods. "Bon nuit," she tells the babysitter before showing her out.
She heads upstairs with Emilie, finding Bash in their bedroom putting her things away from the suitcase.
"You got it?" He asks, scoffing lightly when he lifts up one of her lacy bras from the suitcase. "Nice. Is this new?"
"Shut up," Kenna laughs before she nods. "Yeah, I'll put her down." She heads to the door and stops, looking down at Emilie who is looking around, not even close to falling asleep. "Bash?"
Bash looks up. "Yeah?"
"Let's start trying," she says, turning to give him a smile. "I think Emilie will appreciate having a younger sibling close in age to her."
Her husband laughs softly and nods. "I'm ready when you are," he says. "J'taime."
"J'taime aussi," she replies before heading into the nursery to put Emilie down.
Communication, she thinks. No more running. Just Bash, Emmy and me.
A smile settles on her face.