Chapter 18: The Battle for Middle Earth begins
(At Helm's Deep, what was left of the Uruk-hai are in full retreat. They race down a hill, and rush into a forest at the bottom. Hector, Mr. Grouse, Luna, Leni and Bobby's in hot pursuit. They are just about to make for the forest when Bobby rides in front of them and cuts them off.)
Bobby: (urgent) Stay outta the forest! Keep away from the trees!
Leni: (confused) Wait..did this forest just pop up over night? I could've sworn it wasn't here before the battle.
(They all want as the last of the Uruks vanish into the forest. Suddenly the trees begin moving on their own, the air becomes filled with wooden creaking and the painful wails of Uruks. Everyone looks shocked and confused.)
Everyone: (except Grouse) Uhh…ok that happened.
Mr. Grouse: (to everyone) I told you bums, the trees of Fangorn were gonna wake up, and find they were strong. Lana must've sent them. I knew it wouldn't be long before she discovered Lucy's work.
Luna, Leni, Hector and Bobby: Whose Lana?
Mr. Grouse: Don't worry, You'll see in the third installment.
(Everyone just shrugged and headed back to Helm's Deep. Everyone that was below ground comes outside as the Rohirrim return. Ronnie Anne runs up to Luna and embraces her. Later as Rohirrim are piling up the bodies of Uruks at the start of a massive clean up, Leni walks out behind the wall and sees Lynn sitting on an Uruks body, that has her ax cleaved into his head.)
Leni: (coming over) Final count…I got forty two.
(Lynn whistles impressed.)
Lynn: Forty two? Not bad, not bad for a pointy eared elvish princess. (smug) But I won…sitting real good on Forty three! (gets up and does a victory dance) Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!
(Leni suddenly grows serious, she loads her bow and shots the Uruk Lynn was dancing on. Lynn looks at her shocked.)
Leni: Like…forty three.
Lynn: Doesn't count, he's already dead.
Leni: (shrugs) I saw him twitch.
Lynn: (irate) Twitching! Of course he's twitching! Know why? Cause he's got my ax embedded in his nervous system!
(Lynn wiggles her ax. The Uruk's limbs jerk erratically.)
…..
(At Isengard, Zach stands in the water under the tower. Several Ents walk around close to the tower. Rusty wades over to join him as they see Lucy and Lisa come out at the balcony and look around at the carnage, aghast.)
Rusty: (about Lucy) Boy, she doesn't look too happy, does she Zach?
Zach: For sure, not happy one bit.
Rusty: Still, supposed the views nice from up there.
Zach: Oh yeah, evil aside it's a quality establishment. Hear the staff are first rate.
(Without Zach knowing, Rusty begins comparing their heights again. He's sees he's once again taller then Zach and looks relived. Feeling something, Zach turns around, Rusty plays it off as picking something out of his hair.)
Zach: What are you doing?
Rusty: Nothing. (happy) World's on it's way back to normal is all.
Zach: (shakes his head) No it isn't…I'm starving.
Rusty: (scoffs) Good luck, finding anything edible around here. Probably all just dead rats and moldy bread.
(Zach then looks beside him and sees an apple floating by. Surprised he picks it up and looks to see if there was a tree he missed. Seeing none, he still is excited. He turns around and sees more apples.)
Zach: Aw yeah!
(Zach excitedly moves through the water gathering apples, Rusty sees the food and excitedly follows as well. They head a short distance to a storehouse and stop at the door way. They then look up and see that the store house holds shelves covered every inch with food. The hobbits laugh excitedly.)
Rusty: (awed) Lucy's storeroom!
(The hobbits continue to look around the room, excitedly.)
…..
(As the battle continues at Osgiliath, Luan leads Lincoln, Clyde and Lola through a flooded courtyard, through knee deep gritty water. Soldiers scurry around. Lola looks around nervously. She starts at the sound of a catapult and hurries after the others. They arrive at a small opening leading into the sewer.)
Luan: This is the old sewer. Runs straight under the river to the edge of the city. You guys should be able to find cover in the woods there.
Clyde: (to Luan) Captain Luanmir…you've shown your quality, ma'am. Even if you kinda depart from the original book personality (Luan raises her eyebrows) It's very high indeed.
Luan: (smiles) The Shire must really be a great realm Master Mcbridgee where friends and gardeners are held in high honor.
Clyde: No…not really.
Luan: Still might have to visit and see for myself someday. (she chuckles before turning to Lincoln, serious) What road will you take after reaching the woods?
Lincoln: (gestures to Lola) Lola says there's a path, need Minas Morgul that leads into the mountains.
(Luan suddenly looks suspicious.)
Luan: Cirith Ungol?
(The hobbits look surprised that she knows it name. Luan then sees Lola trying to crawl away. Luan grabs her and holds her against the wall.)
Luan: Is that's it's name?
Lola: (innocently) What? No, no! (Luan tightens her grip) Ok, fine yes. You big clod.
Luan: (to Lincoln) Lincoln, they say a dark terror dwells in the passes above Minas Morgul. You guys can't go that way.
Lola: (to Lincoln) It's the only way, Linky. You said we must go to Mordor, so we must try.
Lincoln: I must. And Lola's pass seems like our best way to get in undetected.
(Luan frowns, but grudgingly lets go of Lola. She takes a minute to compose herself.)
Luan: Go then, Lincoln. Go will the Goodwill of all Men…(underbreath) And women.
Lincoln: (nods) Thank you.
(Lincoln turns and enters the sewer, with Clyde following. Lola heads after them, but before she can enter, Luan grabs her and pins her to the wall once more.)
Luan: (serious) No joke, may death find you quickly, if you bring them to harm.
(Luan throws Lola into the sewer.)
Luan: Get out of here, you freak of nature.
(Lola shots her a scathing look before limping after the hobbits.)
Lola: (murmurs) Big bully.
(The hobbits and Lola make their way through the sewer with Lincoln forging ahead and Lola bringing up the rear.)
Clyde: Come on, keep up.
(Lola sags heavily against the wall, looking to be in pain. Clyde looks back at her and sighs.)
Clyde: You know Linc didn't mean for those rangers to hurt you. You know that, right? He was trying to save you.
Lola: (baffled) Save me?
Clyde: (pressing) So no hard feelings, right? Forgive and forget and all that.
Lola: (agreeing) No, no, no hard feelings.
(Lola starts to limp past Clyde.)
Lola: Nice master. Nice hobbits.
Clyde: That's very decent of you. Very decent indeed, Tattler.
(The three head deeper into the sewer.)
…
(Mr. Grouse, Luna, Leni, Lynn, Hector , Mr. Nakamura and Bobby ride their horses over a grassy hill outside Helms Deep. They stare out in the distance as they see Mount Doom flashing in the far distance.)
Mr. Grouse: Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift (grows grim)The battle for Helms Deep may be over. But the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin.
(Luna and Mr. Grouse exchange a look.)
Mr. Grouse: All our hopes now lie on the shoulders of two little hobbits , somewhere in the wilderness.
(Outside Osgiliath, Lincoln, Clyde, and Lola exit the sewers. They enter some woods.)
Clyde: (thoughtful) You know, there's something I've been wondering. You think they'll ever make a story about us.
Lincoln: What?
Clyde: I mean after this is all done, if people will ever say, 'let's hear about Lincoln and the Ring" . And the kid's say, Yes! That's one of my favorites."
(Clyde lowers his voice to imitate a young hobbit.)
Clyde: Lincoln was really courageous, wasn't he, Dad? (deeper voice) Yes, my boy. More famous even then Bullroarer Took and Albert Loudins put together, and that's saying something.
Lincoln: (chuckles) Sounds good, but I think your forgetting one of the chief characters: Clyde the Brave. Now there's a hero…
(Lincoln turns so he can look Clyde in the eyes.)
Lincoln:…I wouldn't have made it this far without you, Clyde.
Clyde: Come on, Linc. Don't joke around. I was being serious.
Lincoln: (warmly) So was I, Clyde.
(Lincoln turns around and continues. Clyde thinks about what Lincoln just said.)
Clyde: (hmm) Clyde the Brave. Kinda has a nice ring to it.
(Clyde walks after Lincoln. A little ways ahead, Lola walks along muttering to herself. She is angry at her treatment with the Ithilden rangers.)
Lincoln: Lola?
Clyde: (calling) We aren't waiting on you. Get the lead out.
Lola: (trembling) Linky's nice, he looks after us. (light sobbing) Linky wouldn't hurt us.
(Lola's voice assumed a harsher note.)
Tattler: Well then, seemed Linky broke his promise. He didn't do anything to stop them.
Lola: He tried to protect us. He cares about me.
Tattler: Linky betrayed you. He doesn't care. We aught do away with him. Him and his nerdy little friend. (excited) Then we'll take the Precious… and we'll be out own master!
Lola: (shakes her head and hides behind a tree) Can't. The nearsighted hobbit, he knows. He doesn't trust us. He always has his eye on us.
Tattler: Stupid, then we'll put his eyes out? Can't keep an eye on us if he can't see. (evilly) We'll kill them both.
Lola: Yes. No! No.!(whiny) It's too risky.
(Lola hears the hobbits getting closer to where she is. She hides behind a tree, and peers are to watch them searching for her. They still hadn't spotted her. "Tattler" thinks for a second. After a moment she speaks again.)
Tattler: We could let her do it.
Lola: (getting it) Yes. She could do it.
Tattler: Yes, she could. And then we can take back the precious once their dead.
Lola: (agreeing) One they're dead. We promised we wouldn't hurt Linky, but we won't be, if she does it for us.
Tattler: (irate) Shut up. You'll blow our plan if they hear you. Now, get back out there and play along until we get there.
(Lola comes out from behind the tree the hobbits see her.)
Lola: Come on, hobbits! We still got a long way to go. Lola will show you the way to the dreadful Mordor.
Tattler/Lola: Follow me.
(Lincoln and Clyde walk behind Lola as she leads them further into the woods. Somber music is heard as far in the distance, several Nazgûl fly overhead while behind them Mount Doom spurts fire while the Eye of Sauron keeps up his constant vigil in the land of shadow.)