26. PAST: Tiny Iron Fist
Janet tried to pinpoint the moment when she realized she was in love with Jack.
At first, she thought her feelings were entirely physical. Living in close quarters with a handsome, charismatic and chronically horny young man would do it every time. She was only human, after all. What's more, just as she told him once teasingly, she was very passionate. Which wasn't doing anyone any good so far. Dating was a complicated issue for her.
She had no shortage of guys pursuing her. And almost all turned into Neanderthals the moment they were alone with her.
True to yet another resolution she made many years ago, Janet did her best to downplay her looks rather than show them off. She never wore bright colours, revealing clothes, too much makeup or eye-catching jewelry. Her clothes were always so baggy it looked almost as if she was hiding inside them. Still, unless she completely covered herself up from head to toe, her natural charm couldn't but shine through. It drew to her even those men who usually preferred busty blondes and uncomplicated fun. Before long she found herself having to escape their grasping hands. Luckily, she now knew how to get herself out of such situations. The bitter disappointment she felt afterwards was another matter.
One of the worst incidents was when she ran into her high school crush. One look at the huge, ruggedly handsome former jock – and she was reduced to the gushing teenager she'd been all those years back, when just being noticed by a guy like that would have made her year. Dizzy with exhilaration, she invited him over.
Soon after he arrived it became all too clear they weren't on the same page. Used to getting what he wanted by any means, the ex-jock was not above trying to rape a girl who probably weighed as much as his one arm.
Chrissy had intuitively gotten the right idea about him in the couple of minutes before she and Jack left the apartment to give the pair some privacy. It took Jack a while to translate from Chrissy-speak what she was trying to tell him. But when they burst in to rescue Janet, they found her disheveled, her dress ripped to shreds – and the would-be rapist unconscious on the floor.
She never told her friends exactly what had happened. She said he had stumbled over a chair while chasing her around the apartment. What he had actually stumbled over was a well-placed karate chop.
She had come a long way since that night when she had cowered in terror, half-naked, completely in the power of a monster. She no longer needed to be rescued. But the residue of frustration kept building up.
She was repulsed by unwanted sexual advances. But at times she felt aroused despite herself. Fortunately, she possessed the dignity and good sense not to cheapen herself with random men. And yet, even though she would be mortified to admit this even to herself, some tiny part of her responded to even the crudest come-on.
Thus, when she had first felt something stir within her whenever Jack was near – and he soon started trying to get as near her as he could – she thought it was just due to her passionate nature left starving for too long. Until she knew better.
She even tried to talk herself out of loving Jack. After all, what made him so special? There were many things about him that she would find annoying or even despicable in anybody else. The man was a liar, a womanizer, a coward, a braggart, immature, irresponsible… He was ridiculously out of shape for someone so young! Every time he tried to pretend he could dance, or do aerobics, or work out in a gym, so that he could score with yet another woman, he would end up making an enormous fool of himself. How could someone who knew the value of physical fitness as well as she did find that attractive?
All these would normally be big turnoffs. But not in Jack.
Maybe it was because, from the moment he handed her that redeemed cameo pendant on her birthday, she'd known there was more to Jack Tripper than boyish charm and a mischievous lopsided grin. Because she knew first hand how kind, caring and thoughtful he really was, how devoted to his friends, how he always had their back and would come through for them in the end. It was hard to tell at first glance, but the guy's moral compass steered him in the right direction. He would never do anything dishonourable and, whenever presented with a moral dilemma, would always opt to do the right thing. Which was something she had always tried to do and which, to her, meant more than anything else.
She found herself caught in a trap of her own making. Her ground rule No. 1 had made perfect sense at the time. And she had enforced it staunchly and relentlessly. As she had once overheard Jack saying to his friend Larry, "Janet rules with a tiny iron fist." Well, somebody had to!
She was the only one of the three who always made sure the rent money was somehow put together, bills paid, laundry done, supplies stocked; who had a strong relationship with the older people – the Ropers and Furley; who interacted with salespeople, workmen, repairmen and others outside their youthful circle with maturity. She was also the only one ever to straighten out Chrissy's messes and to call Jack out on his bullshit – and that was a full-time job in itself.
How many times she had heard: "Good old reliable Janet" – too many times to even feel the hurt anymore. Old, indeed! She was the youngest of the group! Was it her fault that she'd been forced to act as den mother just because she was responsible and down-to-earth, and had a better idea than the rest of them of how to navigate the adult world without getting in trouble at every turn?
How could she now admit to being in love with her roommate without looking like a hypocrite? Besides, what good would it do? Jack didn't love her. She wasn't even sure he wanted her. By now, their flirtatious game – him coming on and her fending him off – played out like an old comedic routine two actors had performed so many times that they were just going through the motions.
...And then, two days after Chrissy left for Fresno, Jack shouted at her in anger and pain she had never suspected him of feeling. And everything changed forever.