Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
X
"Look, I'm fine, babe." Jax flexes his fingers repeatedly in front of him, to demonstrate that his wounds aren't bad and that his knuckles aren't still bleeding, after he has washed the blood and grime off in the kitchen sink already.
But Tara ignores his protest, quickly ushers Jax inside, closes the bathroom door behind them, and makes sure to lock it before she spins back around towards him at once.
She eyes him cautiously for a brief moment, and even though this is all her own doing, her heart's suddenly beating wildly in her chest at the thought of being in this small space behind a locked door with him, with all the unspoken possibilities that could happen in here. And the way he is towering over her and looking at her right this very second, certainly isn't easing her thoughts or her quickening pulse either.
Over the span of the last couple of hours, Jax has asked her to 'go steady', kissed her breathless in a basement closet, got her a beautiful and thoughtful birthday present, fought some asshole who'd openly disrespected her, then threatened anyone with the same treatment if they continued talking trash about her, and last but not least there was Opie's revelation that he thinks his best friend has fallen for her.
All in all it's a lot to take in!
And all these revelations from tonight are surely making those butterflies in her stomach go haywire and her thoughts a muddled mess, and because of that it takes all the willpower she can muster to not launch herself at him right now. Instead she remains rooted to her spot, takes a deep, mind-clearing breath to snap herself out of it, mentally patting herself on the back that she's barely had anything to drink after leaving the basement with him earlier, and focuses all her attention back on the real reason why they've come in here.
"Sit." She snaps with a bit of a sharp edge to her voice, but it's all just a front to cover up how she's really feeling, because letting him in on the secret, that she wouldn't mind it one bit if he stepped closer, pressed her up against this door and continued what he'd started earlier, just sounds like a very, very bad idea. Sure, it would be so, so hot and exhilarating, but it's truly not how she's ever envisioned losing her virginity, although ... she has certainly thought of Jax being the one she'd be losing it to. No, no, no, don't go there, ... keep your mind out of the gutter, Knowles!
"Yes, ma'am," Jax replies, startling her out of her thoughts, but his amused expression and his raised eyebrows clue her in that he seems surprised, yet also intrigued, by her being the one ordering him around like she just did. Let's face it, apart from his mother, females usually do not order Jackson Teller around, but then again, he should've been used to the fact by now that Tara Knowles isn't anything like those other girls, and she's already proven that to him more than once!
He quickly looks around the small room before deciding to take a seat on the edge of the bathtub, watching her as she turns away and rifles through the cabinets, to find what she needs to better clean out the cuts on his hands.
With her back turned to him, his eyes slowly rake over her body, over all of her captivating curves that are barely contained in those short denim shorts and her too thin black top she's wearing. The dirty thoughts that are stirred up in his mind at the sight of her, have him suddenly living through a moment of déjà vu, and it has him shake his head and swipe his hand over his face in a vain attempt to control his mischievous grin from growing any wider.
"What's so funny?" Tara asks when she turns her attention back to him, her voice and eyes filled with a hint of humor this time when she takes in the smirk he's trying to suppress.
Jax eyes the alcohol-drenched cotton square ready in her hand as she steps closer, before his gaze travels back to her face. "Nothing." He quips back, shaking his head at her, not wanting to come on too strong yet again, and showing all of his cards at once as he had with his speech a little while ago, which ended with Opie calling him out right in front of her. Dick move, bro!
It's one thing to internally battle and try to make sense of what he's feeling about the girl right in front of him, but it's a whole other thing being put on the spot to already put a name to those feelings out loud. It's way too soon for all of that, Teller! Way, way too soon!
Tara raises her eyebrows at him and gives him an 'I don't believe you' look, but before he can say anything else, she's already cupping his stubbly chin without preamble, holding his face in place and begins to carefully dab at the dried blood at the corner of his lips.
He tries not to flinch at the sting from the alcohol, instead, he focuses on her pretty face, because here in the rather harsh lighting of the bathroom, he can take in every little nuance he wasn't able to see in the barely lit backyard or the dimmer lighting of the rest of the house.
She throws the dirty, used square into the little trash bin behind her, then reaches for another one on the counter, quickly dousing it with the rubbing alcohol she's found and this time reaches for one of his hands to begin cleaning up his cuts there now. Her gentle touch is sending tingles down his spine, and quite frankly straight to his dick too, but he's trying his best not to think about that right now.
He's fascinated by the way she takes her sweet time taking care of him, feels amused by the two vertical little lines forming right between her scrunched eyebrows, contorting her pretty face as she concentrates on her task of meticulously cleaning his knuckles in unusual comfortable silence.
But then, suddenly, their eyes meet again, and neither can hide the carefree and genuine smile that forms on either of their faces, and it's also then that Jax gives in and decides to confess parts of his earlier thoughts. "It was déjà vu."
"What?" Halting her hands for the split second she's meeting his eyes in confusion.
"You know, that feeling you get, like you've been somewhere before, or done something -."
"I know what déjà vu means, Jax." She interrupts him, smiling again, yet rolling her eyes at the same time. Duh!
Of course she knows what it means, and he bites his lip to keep from laughing out loud at the expression on her face when she just rolled her eyes at him. "I was smiling because I've had a moment of déjà vu." He starts explaining, grinning wider as he gestures around the room, to himself and then to her with his free hand. "You and me in a bathroom, my knuckles bloody from a fight, and you playing my nurse."
Tara's contemplative smile is instant, despite the looming darker memories from the night he's obviously referring to, and she stops what she's doing when she meets his eyes again and nods. "Yeah, I guess this does feel familiar."
She reaches for his other hand to begin cleaning it too, avoiding his eyes now when more memories from that night surface in her head, most of them not good at all. Oddly enough, she muses, that night they'd also spent some time huddled in a coat closet together with their hearts beating wildly, yet for so very different reasons than tonight.
She doesn't like where her thoughts are taking her, so in a way to divert yet again, she instead voices the question out loud she's been secretly wondering about him for years now. "So, ... why do you fight like that anyway?"
Jax's eyes on her are sharp, instantly defensive, and he quirks just one eyebrow at her in an almost comical way when he regards her and quickly shoots back. "I was defending you!" Both times, but even though he doesn't add those last two words, he knows that she knows they're very much implied.
Tara hurriedly swallows the lump in her throat away, when she's momentarily brought back in time to the crippling fear she felt as she had to helplessly stand by and watch Jax fight Michael Dunley in her living room. She frowns now and shakes her head at him, as if she can also shake the memories away right along with it. "I'm not talking about that night, ... or tonight for that matter." She clarifies, before she meets his eyes straight on and says. "I'm talking about all those other times. You seem to get into fights just ... just for the hell of it."
"I always have my reasons, Tara." He says, still sounding much more defensive than he means to, but he just can't help it at the moment, because she's caught him off guard with this unexpected question into his psyche. "It's never just for the hell of it." He says and tells himself that it's only partially a lie, because it's true that he's always quick to come up with some arbitrary reason when he finds his next victim and does what he does best.
Well, that is what he tells the people around him, it's what he tells his friends, because it's easier to justify his ill-temper and flying fists by saying someone provoked him one way or another, than to actually admit the ugly truth out loud, which is that a lot of the time he is just plain angry.
Angry that his baby brother was sick for most of his short life, and then died before he even had a chance to become a real fleshed-out person.
Angry that his father died too young, and he'll never get a chance to sit at the reaper table with him.
Angry that his mother moved on way too quick for his liking, and that she did so with Clay of all people.
And angry at himself for his conflicting thoughts about the club, on one hand feeling so eager and downright impatient to finally be able to join Samcro, but on the other fearing the weight on his shoulders of trying to be able to measure up to his old man and what he stood for.
Let's just say, his anger issues are pretty complex and kind of complicated to explain to anyone, let alone an outsider like her, a good girl who didn't grow up in the life and couldn't possibly grasp all the shit he's already seen and lived through in his young life.
So obviously Jax can't even entertain the idea of telling Tara any of that for many reasons, ... this shit is heavy, his issues ... they're too deep, and with him and her literally just starting out, just getting to know each other, it's way too soon to allow her to see this troubled side of him, because he can't stand the thought of her looking at him differently if she knew the real him, which he's sure she undoubtedly would.
Besides, how could he possibly justify opening up to a girl he's been dating for barely a minute when he's never even told Ope about what's at the root of his anger issues? But then again, he's fairly sure his best friend might just be the only one that knows and can read him well enough to already know what's really going on with him. Even if neither of them has ever actually said a word about it out loud, but yeah, ... he's sure Ope knows.
She's done tending to his hands, busies herself with throwing the trash away and putting everything back where she's found it, all while feeling his eyes following her every move and burning holes in her back now.
"What about you?" He wonders out loud then, deflecting back to her, and scrutinizing her with his gaze much like she'd done to him a moment ago. Surely she's angry too!
"What about me?" She throws the question right back at him, spinning around, leaning against the sink, her hands braced on the edge of the counter on either side of her, trying her best to appear casual even though she no longer feels that way at all. Unlike their countless little other talks that seem to have come so easy and natural, this feels slightly awkward and tense now, and she blames herself for starting this apparently unwelcome subject.
Jax stands now too, crossing his arms in front of himself, but then leans back against the wall right across from her, his eyes trained on hers in a challenge when he elaborates what he means. "I know for a fact that people talking shit has hurt you, but ... I mean, doesn't it ever make you wanna punch someone? Doesn't it piss you off?"
"Of course it pisses me off." Tara blurts back without having to think about it, because it's such a no-brainer.
"Well, what do you do when you're pissed off?" He asks, although he's pretty sure he already knows the answer to that question. His mind instantly goes back to earlier tonight, when, during their spin the bottle game, her ex-best friend Emma had flirted shamelessly with him to get him to join her in the closet. Tara had obviously been hurt and angry then, it had been written all over her face, but somehow she had kept her mouth shut and hadn't even said a single word to voice that anger out loud.
"Nothing." She answers on a sigh just like he'd just predicted, then shakes her head at him, truly perplexed by such an odd question, but also feels the need to explain. "Despite what you might think, just because I'm not throwing my fists around at every opportunity, doesn't make me a pushover." And then she remembers sitting on her front porch with him, and his suggestion from that night not too long ago. "Besides, wasn't it you who said I shouldn't let that stuff get to me? That I should just let it 'roll off my back', remember?"
"Yeah, but look, there's a difference between hearing shit through the grapevine and not knowing who's truly behind it, versus someone doing or saying something straight to your face. Sometimes you gotta show your teeth, babe." Jax points out to her, sounding almost patronizing, but before Tara can think of what to say in response, he's already asking his next question, disbelieve heavy in his voice. "So you've never clocked someone? Ever?"
"No, I haven't." She replies sounding truly surprised by his question, then suddenly wonders if the one time she kicked Dunley between the legs in self-defense would count, but quickly decides for herself that it doesn't.
"Never hit 'em with a brick?" Jax's face's shows just the trace of a smile now, feeling oddly relieved to take this conversation in a different direction. Away from him and his more deep-rooted issues he has no intention of discussing with her.
"Jesus, no." She sounds outraged at the mere suggestion, and yet she can't help her own little smile from showing on her face at the way he's looking at her now, because he can't possibly be serious. Right? He's teasing her, he's got to be, bad-boy or not, there's no way she'd believe that he has actually beaten someone with a brick.
"Well, babe, you have not lived until you've heard the bones of your enemy getting crushed." He replies, and despite the hint of a smile on his lips, he's sounding way too damn earnest and she's not sure what to make of it.
Tara meets his eyes, imploring, but admits out loud. "I can't tell if you're kidding or not."
"Yeah. Neither can I anymore." He admits himself without actually explaining anything further though, and instead just shakes his head back at her. And then he's suddenly smiling a little more as he steps towards her, taking her by surprise when his hands are framing her face now, with his thumbs gently stroking over her instantly pink cheeks. The gesture is downright sweet and in complete contradiction to the current subject matter, and his face grows serious again. "I just mean, even now, I'm still fuckin' mad as hell when I think about what that fucker said about you, and I ... I guess I want everyone else to know it too."
"Well, I think it's safe to say everyone knows how you feel." She tries hard to contain her shy smile as she remembers the speech he'd made in her defense not too long ago.
"Right. I guess that's true." He easily agrees again, and then they just stand there like this, staring at each other for a few long quiet filled minutes, his hands still cupping the sides of her face, and her hands clasped around his wrists, holding him there to relish in his gentle touch, but also to steady herself, because being near him still makes her dizzy. And God, if he were to kiss her now, in here behind a locked door, there's no telling where that kiss might lead.
So when the threat of his impending kiss seems to become too much for her to handle, she interrupts their little intimate moment the best way she knows how, - with a grin and the playful banter that has already become their secret language with each other. "You wanna know what I think, Teller?"
Intrigue shines in his eyes, when he teases her right back calling her by her last name. "What's that, Knowles?"
She's still holding his gaze when she answers him, not even trying to conceal the humor in her voice as she explains. "Well, I think that you're sweet and charming and by your own admission 'not a player', and if it wasn't for your occasional fighting, you'd totally lose your bad-boy status. So I think that that is the real reason why you fight, because you like being bad. You like being thought of as bad."
"Hmm." He hums as if he's truly thinking it over, but then cracks a smile at her that makes her knees weak. "You think you've got me all figured out, don't you?"
Tara doesn't actually answer him and just chuckles in response, because quite honestly Jax is still a bit of a mystery to her. Sure, most of the time he's so easy to talk to, and they've had long and carefree discussions in which she's confided her recent struggles and fears to him. But looking back now, she realizes that the things he's shared about himself in return were mostly of the superficial variety. For example, she knows what he likes to eat and drink, what kind of music or movies, or even what kind of cigarettes he likes. She even knows his favorite authors and books and quotes. And yeah, they've very briefly discussed the odd coincidence that both of them have lost a parent due to an accident, but neither of them had been ready to dwell too deeply on that particular subject. So if she really thinks about it, the answer to his question is a resounding 'no', because she doesn't have him figured out at all. Far from it, in fact.
What she does know though, is that Jax is clearly a thrill-seeker, and she certainly is not. He seems like the type of guy that doesn't mind drawing attention to himself, and maybe he's even seeking it, while she usually tries to actively avoid it. And maybe knowing those few things about him should be enough to scare her out of this relationship with him, but strangely it doesn't, because somehow they fit. Somehow, someway, Jax and her just fit.
It barely makes any sense, it's hardly logical at all, and it doesn't negate the fact that when he started to argue with that guy in the kitchen, she felt so scared and out of her element and at a loss of what to do, yet she's still here. Because when he looks at her like this, like he is doing right now, so full of surety, none of that other stuff seems to matter much.
When he holds her close, when he kisses her, everything else falls away and he's all she can see and feel and hear. She swears being in his arms, it's like what she imagines being in the eye of a hurricane must feel like, for a moment in time it's the most peaceful place in the world, leaving either of them completely oblivious to the violent chaos that's possibly surrounding them.
There's a sudden loud and rather insistent knock on the bathroom door that draws them both back to the here and now, and without further discussion they both file out of the room, hand in hand, to finally join their friends at the party again.
X
Tara has convinced him to dance, so that is where they've spent the most part of the last half hour, in the middle of the dance floor right alongside countless other couples, and doing their best to ignore the curious stares they still seem to get from a few people here and there.
But when the upbeat music suddenly shifts to Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing compares to you', Tara stops dancing and takes Jax's hand, trying to lead him off of the make-shift dance floor.
But instead of following along with her, Jax tugs on her hand, pulling her right back to him. "Where're you trying to run off to?"
Tara can't help herself from glancing around the room, catching the jealous looks of quite a few girls, before looking back up at him and meeting his questions eyes when she finally answers him by pointing out an observation she's made about him in the past. "You don't slow dance."
His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline at the realization that she must've been watching him as well for her to have noticed and remembered something like that about him, and knowing that makes the smile on his face stretch even wider.
He wraps his hands around her waist, pulling her flush against him, before he begins to slowly sway along to the slow rhythm of the song, and whispers in her ear. "I must've been with the wrong girl."
"Oh, ... wow." Tara gapes at him in disbelief. "You're good, Teller." She adds, teasing and yet scoffing all at the same time, but then finds herself smirking and shaking her head at him in amusement when he winks down at her in reply. She does wrap her arms around his neck in answer though without further prompt from him, and her whole body's vibrating at the implications of his words as she begins swaying to the slow song right along with him.
"So my lines are getting better?" He teases her back, one of his hands splayed across her back to draw her even nearer, the other resting possessively right above her ass at the small of her back.
"Definitely." She nods, her head resting against his shoulder, giggling against the crook of his neck in good fun, but that giggle dies down again, her body stiffens when she once more catches sight of countless eyes watching them like hawks. And it becomes clear that Tara hadn't been the only one that knew about his prior aversion to slow dancing, at least judging by the pissed off looks directed at her again this very moment.
"What's wrong?" Jax asks against her ear, having noticed the sudden change in her posture.
She could lie, could shrug it off, put her fake, brave face back on and pretend she isn't bothered, but it's exhausting and she's simply grown too tired of doing that tonight, at least when talking with him, and so she tells him the truth before he gets a chance to ask a second time. "People are staring at us." But even as the whispered words slip out of her mouth, she thinks that she can't really blame them, because the fact that she's dating Jax still seems a little crazy to her too. So surely they're all wondering what alternate reality they've stumbled upon watching him slow dance with her like this, when everyone knows that Jax Teller doesn't do slow dancing, or the fact that she isn't the kind of girl he usually goes for either. You don't know that, the little voice inside her head chastises her instantly though, when she thinks about the girls she remembers seeing him with, in the past.
Jax lifts his gaze to see for himself what she's talking about, a little ticked off when he's realizing that she's right. He tugs her even tighter against him, making a show of pressing a sweet kiss against her hair, knowing full well that his buddies will tease the shit out of him for the next month or so, but he honestly doesn't care. "They're just staring because ..." His voice drifts off, searching for just the right words, because all he cares about right now is the girl in his arms, about making her feel better, making her feel more comfortable being with him like this, regardless who the fuck is watching them. Let them all watch! "You're my girl now, Knowles. Everybody knows it. There's no going back."
This time she doesn't tease or scoff though, because the sincerity she's heard in his voice makes it clear that he really means it, and that it isn't just another line he might've used on another girl before her.
'You're my girl now.' His words running on repeat in her head now, elating her, and it seems to be the push that she needs to lose the last of her inhibition, and say 'fuck it' to it all, to them all. So without real reason or preamble she shifts back just enough to look up at him, meeting his sincere blue eyes with her hazel-green ones, before leaning up on her tiptoes and pressing her lips to his in a scorching kiss. Right here, out in the open, in the middle of this dance floor and for all the fucking world to see.
She's done hiding what they have from other people, done hiding how she feels from Emma and the other jealous girls just like her. She's falling for him and unless she's been reading him all wrong, then he's falling for her too, so to hell with everyone else.
Her cheeks are flushed when she eventually pulls back from the kiss to catch her breath and to get her equilibrium back again too. But all that goes straight out the window, when she's met with the most dazzling smile from Jax as he's gazing down at her with a mixture of both pride and amusement.
"What?" She wonders out loud what that look he's giving her is all about.
"Look at you, babe, showing your teeth!" He states, his choice of words an obvious reference to their earlier conversation and the way she has just staked a claim on him with this public dance-floor-kiss, right in front of all his other female admirers. And why the hell is he feeling so stupidly happy that Tara's staking a claim? He'd never liked it when Amy had tried to do it!
"Ran fresh out of bricks to throw!" Tara replies casually, shrugging, making Jax laugh out loud in response, and yet she's smirking and feeling a little sheepish that he saw right through her and saw the kiss for what it was. A blatant 'Fuck you' to all of those jealous girls that have been giving her the evil eyes all night. Eat your hearts out girls, he's mine!
X
Jax is sitting on a lawn chair on the back porch with Tara in his lap, sharing a cigarette with her, his fingers absentmindedly caressing her bare thighs, not even realizing what kind of effect his touch has on her, and she tries her best to not let it show either.
Instead they're both involved in conversations with his and her friends. The current topic of discussion is the mystery girl Opie's been pining after since the night of the party out at Lodi lake. Donna!
"You never got her last name?" Lowell asks out loud what everyone else is wondering too.
Opie shakes his head no, taking a drag from his own cigarette, but then his lips stretch into a telling grin when he exhales a moment later to add. "Didn't really do much talkin' that night."
He's rewarded with a bout of approving and suggestive shouts from the guys, while the girls share disbelieving looks and try not to roll their eyes at their chauvinistic behavior.
"I just don't get it." Jax blurts out a moment later, taking a drag as he's looking from his best friend to the rest of their little group. "Somebody's gotta know this chick."
"Maybe she's new and just moved here." Tino wonders out loud, holding his joint out towards the rest of them, wordlessly asking if anybody wants a hit, and Lowell eagerly takes it.
"Naw, that's not it." Opie interrupts, shaking his head, and gaining everyone's attention when he explains. "She said her family moved to Lodi when she was 12."
Everyone's quiet for a moment, either thinking to themselves or simply at a loss of what else to say, when Tara suddenly remembers something. "The Charming library keeps copies of the High school yearbooks -."
"So?" Tino interrupts her before she can say more, shrugging his shoulders dismissively.
All eyes drift back to Tara when she goes on to explain. "Maybe Lodi keeps copies too. If you know what she looks like then -."
"Then I could find out her last name." Opie interrupts, his eyes on Tara while he's finishing her train of thought for her, looking truly hopeful all of a sudden.
"Told you my girl's wicked smart," Jax exclaims with a proud smile, before leaning in to press a quick kiss to her lips.
"If she's so smart, then why the fuck's she with you, Teller?" Lowell pipes up, causing everyone to laugh out loud at his dig at Jax, but then he casts a quick rueful look straight at Tara. "No offense."
"None taken," Tara replies, smirking back as Jax flips Lowell off with both hands.
Opie suddenly stands, tossing his cigarette to the ground to quickly grind it out with the heel of his shoe, and it has Jax wondering out loud. "Whatcha thinkin', bro?"
"Gonna check out the library." He states like it should be obvious.
"It's the middle of the night." Tara points out, and with it implying that it's obviously been long closed already.
"I know," Opie states, but is already feeling for his keys in his pocket. "Just wanna see what time they open tomorrow." He adds, but throws Jax a look that Tara can't quite decipher. "You ready?"
Jax narrows his eyes at him in thought for a second, but then he's nodding back at Opie while also tapping his hand against Tara's hip in a wordless warning that he needs her to get up so that he can get up too. But before she's even got a chance to react, he's already gripping her by the waist, hoists her off of his lap and onto her feet, and then quickly stands himself.
"You're leaving?" Tara can't help but wonder, looking up at him, searching his face and hating the disappointed tone that's so obvious in her voice.
Jax shares another look with Opie, asking his friend out loud. "Are we comin' back, or ... what?"
Opie glances at his wristwatch, then shakes his head. "Probably not. I gotta be at T-M in the morning."
Jax is looking disappointed himself now, although he's nodding his head in understanding. But then Opie's already exchanging handshakes with their friends in goodbye, Jax tells him that he'll meet him at the truck and turns his attention wholeheartedly back to Tara, ushering her off to the side to talk more privately. "Are you working tomorrow?"
"I'm not, actually. You?" Tara replies and asks him in return, sudden hope in her voice that they might get to spend the day together. They could go back to Lodi lake, go for a swim this time, and with that thought, the rest of the summer suddenly doesn't feel so boring anymore if she gets to spend it with him.
"No, I'm not working, but I was gonna work on my bike though." He explains and with it instantly dashing her dreams as quickly as they'd appeared.
"Oh." She can't hide her disappointment from her face or from her voice, but at the same time feels stupid for already feeling so needy when it comes to spending time with him. She's never felt like that with Logan.
However, Jax looks equally disappointed when he bites his lip in thought, his eyes drifting back to the rest of their friends huddled around the porch talking, and noting that Opie's long gone. "Look, why don't you come with us, that way we could hang and talk a little longer, and Ope could drop you at your place on the way?"
Suddenly she feels stupid that she hasn't actually told him yet of Rayna's and her plan to stay out all night, but she quickly remedies that now. "Actually, my dad thinks I'm staying the night with Rayna, and her parents think she's staying the night with me."
He raises his eyebrows at her in surprise that straight-A-student Tara Knowles would so blatantly lie to her old man, but she brings him out of his thoughts when she quickly carries on to explain. "He's still mad that I got drunk, so this was the only way I could come here tonight."
"Really? So, ... where are you staying?" Jax can't help but ask the obvious now that he's privy to her plan.
She shrugs. "I thought we'd just stay here, you know ... together, then head home in the morning. Tino gave us a ride, he was gonna stay too."
"So Rayna could stay with Tino?" He muses out loud, his eyes drifting to both of them for just a second, before he focuses his attention back on her again. "And you could just come home with me?" He suddenly offers, taking her by surprise, and yet his expression is hopeful as he studies her reaction to his invitation. He knows he's undoubtedly pushing his luck to ask something like that of her, considering they've literally just started dating.
"Are your parents out of town again?" She quickly asks in reply, and surprising him yet again that that's the only concern she seems to have with his out of the blue idea.
He doesn't correct her by pointing out that Clay is not really his parent, but instead focuses on what's important when he answers her. "No, they're home ..." He glances at his own watch now. "But they'll be fast asleep when we get there. I promise, babe, they won't even know you're there." He smirks, squeezing her hands as his eyes are silently pleading with her.
Tara bites her lip this time and casts a look back at her own friends who seem lost deep in a discussion at the moment, wishing she could march over there, pull Cassidy and Rayna aside, and ask for their input. Although she's already got a pretty good idea what Rayna would tell her to do. Go for it, Knowles!
She can't believe he's really just invited her to stay the night with him. Jesus Christ, what is she supposed to say to that? Especially considering that during the whole time they were dating, she' had not once spent an entire night with Logan. And yet here she is with Jax, already considering doing just that after officially dating him for what? ... A couple of hours!
It seems so crazy to even consider it, and yet it also makes her feel like she did earlier in that closet with him, excited and scared at the same time, and tingly all over, and not to forget dizzy too.
"Hey. I know what you're thinking, but that's not what this is." Jax gently cups her cheek with his hand to draw her focus back to him, then proceeds to make a cross-motion over his heart with the fingers of his other hand. "I promise. I don't like the thought of leaving you here when I'm not around" He stops abruptly and sighs, running one of his hands through his hair in exasperation. "I really want you to stay with me, Tara. We could talk some more, then get some sleep, I swear, that's it, ... nothing more. I promise, babe." But even as he says the words, deep down he's not sure who he's truly trying to convince here; her or himself! Because let's face it, he'd never do anything she isn't comfortable with, but that being said, he's probably not gonna get any real sleep with Tara snuggled up beside him for the first time, in his twin-sized bed.
X
Like Tara had predicted, the library has already been closed for several hours, and yet they're parked a little way up the street from the building itself, and she's left wondering what Opie could have to discuss with Jax right now, that couldn't possibly wait until later. It's just odd how the two of them are standing by the tailgate of the pickup while she remains seated in the truck to give them privacy, after Jax has politely asked her to do so. She's not sure what's going on, but their hushed voices whispering back and forth in the darkness of the night has her nerves on edge and feeling uneasy. She just knows something's up!
But then Jax appears back by her window, pulling the door open and slipping back into the seat beside her, watching Opie walk off on his own, back in the direction of the library, with a flashlight in one hand, and what appears like a crowbar in the other.
"What's going on, Jax? Where's he going?" Tara wonders out loud, looking after the shrinking shadow of their tall teenage friend.
Jax lights another cigarette, then curls his arm around her shoulders to tug her closer to his side again, his eyes scanning their surroundings for a quick second before focusing back on his best friend, who's already off in the distance. "Look, Ope doesn't wanna wait. He's really into this girl, and he just wants to find a name so he can try to find her."
Tara searches his eyes, trying to understand what he's getting at, but she's drawing a blank until he goes on to further elaborate. "It really shouldn't take too long. He'll just grab the last couple yearbooks and we'll get outta here."
"Wait," Tara whispers, but her voice still sounds shocked when she realizes what Opie's up to. "Is he breaking into the library?" Because of what I said? Oh, fuck, no!
"Yeah," Jax answers way too casually for her liking, taking a drag from his cigarette as he's glancing down at her to meet her disbelieving eyes. He squeezes her shoulder, and tries to reassure her. "Don't worry, babe. It's all good, I promise. Let's just hope he finds them quick."
X
Opie did what Jax had said he was going to do. He stole the yearbooks from the last couple of years, even though he's sure that Donna's only going to be a Junior, like them, in the fall, and then they quickly drove off to the nearest twenty-four-hour-convenience store, where he parked and all of them began rifling through the pages in search of Opie's mystery girl named Donna.
"That's her. That's Donna." Opie suddenly exclaims, sounding excited, angling the book in Jax and Tara's direction and pointing at the picture of the girl in question. "Lerner. Her name's Donna Lerner."
"She's cute." Jax muses in approval as he takes in the black and white headshot of her, like he hadn't actually met her too at Lodi lake, but then his eyes land back on his friend, shrugging. "So now what?"
X
Jax puts yet another quarter into the slot of the payphone, before Opie hurriedly reads the next phone number out loud for Tara to dial. Just like the countless previous times, it seems to ring forever until someone finally answers the call, and Jax and Opie watch on as she takes a quick, deep breath to go through the same spiel yet again.
She's very polite, but her voice is sounding way too cheery for the late hour, when she rattles out her already rehearsed lines in one long breath. "Hi, it's Donna's friend, Grace Jackson. I'm really sorry to be calling so late, but it's kind of an emergency and I really, really have to speak to Donna right now, so would you please -." She pauses to listen. "I'm sorry, what?" She pauses again, biting her lip. "Oh God, I'm sorry, my bad, I must have dialed the wrong number. So sorry -" She hangs up then, and Opie's already crossing out the name and number of this particular Lerner on the ripped out phonebook page he's clutching in his hand.
So they promptly do it all again, Opie reading off the next number to her and she's quickly dialing it, just to be waiting with bated breath as the line rings over and over again until someone finally picks up. "Hi, it's Donna's friend, Grace Jackson. I'm really sorry to be calling so late, but it's kind of an emergency and I really, really have to speak to Donna right now, so would you please put her on the line?" She pauses to hear their reply, just like all those other times before. "Uh-huh." She nods, her eyes flying up to Opie's, and a smile instantly crosses her face, giving him hope, and Jax tries to lean in to hear what the other person on the line is saying. "Okay, no." Another pause. "I guess. Yeah, ... no, I understand. I'm really sorry that I woke you up, Mrs. Lerner, I'll call back tomorrow when Donna's awake. Okay, bye" She lets out a shrill, ear-piercing shriek even before she's managed to fully hang up the phone, and is practically bouncing up and down in excitement that has the boys shake their heads and chuckle out loud at her.
Opie's grin is infectious, but he's still asking out loud to confirm what he thinks this means, pointing down at the name, address, and the number they'd just dialed on the crumpled piece of paper in his hand. "You sure this is her?"
"Yes." Tara nods frantically, then explains without stopping to breathe. "Her mom was pissed, scolded me for waking her up, and said Donna's been asleep for hours, like I should be, and I'd have to call back tomorrow to talk to her. She was kinda mean about it." She adds, and then wonders out loud. "I mean, I guess there's a chance that there's more than one Donna Lerner in Lodi, ... but really, what are the odds of that?"
"Alright, Ope." Jax chimes in then, slipping his hand in Tara's, before he's clapping his friend on the shoulder with approval and says. "Let's go get your girl."
X
Jax and Tara watch from the cabin of the truck as Opie yet again makes his solitary journey to the house right across the street from where they've parked, but this time Tara can't help but point out the potential flaw in his eagerness to reconnect with Donna. "I don't know if this is a good idea. He could get busted for trespassing, or worse, for being a peeping tom who's ... you know, peeping into people's windows. I mean, I just called them, like less than ten minutes ago, there's a good chance they're still up. If they see him, they could call the cops on him, ... for being a pervy creep." Shit, she knows she's blabbering!
"Are you nervous?" Jax's question takes her by surprise, and when she looks over at him to meet his eyes, she realizes that he's smirking at her.
"I guess." She mutters unsure.
Yes, she's most definitely nervous, but for a moment she's contemplating what she's actually more nervous about. Is it the fact that Opie's sneaking around the yard of a stranger's house in the dark? Or that she's sitting here in this truck now, in the middle of the night, all alone next to Jax, her new boyfriend?
And leave it to Jax to read her thoughts, only to then wonder out loud. "Nervous for Ope, or nervous for being stuck here with me?"
She gives him a shy smile, feeling her face heat, and hating that the streetlamp right in front of them is so damn bright that he can surely see the blush creeping across her cheeks.
"Both I guess." She replies, even though she's now pretty sure that it's ninety-nine percent him that has her feeling on edge. And it's not that she's scared he'd hurt her, or do something she doesn't want him to do, because if that was the case she would've never agreed to tag along. No, it's rather the knowledge that she's so crazy about him already, that she can't be sure she can trust herself around him if it comes down to deny him anything, or tell him 'no' in the first place.
Tara could swear that Jax knows exactly what he's doing to her, wielding that Teller-charm around her like some kind of magic wand, and damn if it isn't working, because she's found herself wholeheartedly under his mesmerizing spell. Aargh!
"What do you wanna do now?' He asks, knowing full well that it's such a loaded question, even more so with the sinful grin on his unshaven face that accompanies his words.
But hey, two can play that game, and so she doesn't miss a beat and throws that very same question right back in his insufferably handsome face. "I don't know. What do you wanna do now?"
However, Jax doesn't seem bothered at all by her deflection of his question, the opposite really, looking very comfortable with the fact that she has just thrown the ball back into his court. He leans back and relaxes more in his seat, and then gives her a long, hard look, so intense that it has a shiver of anticipation running down her spine, and has her looking away again, before she does something stupid and out of character again, like throw herself at him.
But just as she ponders over that thought, his hands are on her, framing her face, lifting her chin until she has no choice but to meet his gaze, and to acknowledge the curiosity and lust eclipsing the blues of his eyes. And damn him, for the way he's searching her face like he's trying to memorize it, leaving her feeling breathless and reduced to a pool of need.
The tiny gap between them disappears when he angles her face just so, and then leans in to drop his mouth to hers in a kiss. Her eyes flutter closed at once, because holy hell, what a tantalizing kiss that is. The boy sure knows how to kiss, and before she knows what she's doing, she's got her fingers twisting around the fabric of his t-shirt, trying desperately to hold onto something, because he's making her feel dizzy, but also greedy for more.
"Damn, babe." He pulls away, mumbling against her lips and searching her face anew.
Her eyes open, meeting his, and again she's instantly drawn under his spell, before he winks at her and leans in just to kiss her some more. How does he do that?
His hands are on her body now, pulling her even closer, greedy himself for more contact, pulling her into his lap, but that only lasts a few precious minutes, because, in a smooth and obviously well-practiced move, Jax has suddenly maneuvered them both horizontally onto the seat.
Tara's on her back, with him hovering right above her, his arms braced beside her head, his hips pressing against hers, their legs rather awkwardly bent and tangled up with each other in the small space, and yet he never even had to break their kiss to get them here.
She'd be downright impressed, if it didn't instantly make her wonder just how many times he's done this particular move with other girls, to get this good at it and deliver it's execution this smoothly and efficiently. And yet, I'm still kissing him!
As if he's sensing her train of thought, he suddenly pulls back, bracing himself above her, smoothing her long hair back and out of her face, and searching her eyes when he says. "You gotta tell me if you wanna stop."
Those are so not the words she'd expected to hear from him at the moment, but they strangely make her feel warm and fuzzy and safe, even as she's practically trapped beneath him, because they prove to her again that Jax really is one of the good ones. Her bad-boy is a good guy, someone who'd never push her to do something she isn't comfortable with.
She's not going to sleep with him. She just can't. No, not here, not now, not like this. As much as she wants him, this just isn't what she wants her first time to be like. Parked along the curb in some random neighborhood in Lodi, with the possibility of anyone just wandering upon them, and not to forget the fact that Opie could return at a moment's notice again too.
"Hey, babe." He croons, gazing down at her. "Don't be nervous, alright? I'm cool with just kissing." He reassures, proving himself yet again to be a mind reader who can read her thoughts like an open book. "'Re you cool with that?"
"Yeah." She nods up at him, glad she's able to find her voice. "I'm cool with that." But then her eyes flick past him for just a second, out the windshield, squinting at the brightness of the way too bright streetlamp that seems to be shining down on them like a spotlight on a stage.
"What's wrong?" Jax instantly asks, craning his neck to follow her gaze, before his eyes return to hers. "Is the light bothering you?"
"I never noticed how bright they are." She comments and watches as he takes a second look at it over his shoulder.
"I can fix that for you." He announces easily, like he's done this countless times before, and then with the same ease that has landed them here, he pushes himself up to sit, before reaching blindly beneath the bench seat, only to produce a black rifle a moment later.
Tara's eyes go wide with shock, but before she can even get so much as a single word out, he's already easing her obvious worries. "Relax. It's just a bb-gun, shooting pellets. It's not real."
"Oh." It's all she can think of in reply, and just like that he's quickly pumping it a few times, leans out the already open window, takes aim, and then with a popping sound, glass breaking and a few sparks flying, the damn streetlamp that had bothered her just a second ago, has now been made history. All thanks to the unusual resourcefulness of none other than her boyfriend Jackson Teller.
She props herself up on her elbows and gapes at him, while he busies himself with stowing the gun away right back where he'd found it. Words are evading her for a long couple seconds, but when his attention is back on her and he crawls back over her, she finally finds her voice. "I can't believe you just did that? I'm starting to think I'm dating a crazy person?"
He laughs out loud and smirks, thoroughly amused by her reaction. "Not crazy, just trying to please my girl." He explains, his natural charm showing when he's smoothing his palm over the top of her head, brushing her hair back again like she's a small child that needs reassurance. "Don't worry. It's the middle of the night. Everyone's fast asleep. It's all good!"
God, what she wouldn't give for just an ounce of his confidence. Deep down she knows it's making him reckless, but that thought doesn't make her feel any less envious of him at the moment. Does he even have a care in the world?
And just like that, his blue eyes are shining mischievously again, and his grin comes easy too when he asks. "Now where were we?"
She clears her throat, gazing up at him and reaching up to brush his unruly hair back for a change, already feeling much more at ease due to the anonymity the now much darker cabin provides when she whispers. "Kiss me, Jax!"
X
Author's Note: Hi everyone, I hope you're all still healthy. I can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter. Thank you for reading!